Empathetic anger: the emotion felt in response to another person being hurt by someone or something else
Have you ever been told “don’t be so emotional?” at work?
I remember a specific moment in an office I worked in over ten years ago. A male boss was speaking to a female co-worker about something he was unhappy with in her performance, and while conveying his feedback, he told her not to be so emotional.
As he spoke in the fishbowl office, I watched from my cubicle while he paced back and forth, his hands waving emphatically through the air, his face and head getting redder and redder, his voice elevating until it carried right through the glass walls to where our team sat. My co-worker remained relatively calm in a chair in front of him.
When she finally came out with tears held back in her eyes, I considered the irony of what I’d just witnessed – how selective emotions that were more masculine-identified were permissible and somehow not too emotional?
And I wondered too, were the tears that stung in her eyes also anger, albeit withheld?
When Caught in Anger
All emotions are guides and most dangerous if denied, but the way we manage them and channel their outward expression matters. Today children – and girls particularly – are being encouraged to be in more in touch with anger, rather than repress it.
“It is natural and normal to feel anger,” iterates Audrey Nelson, Ph.D., in Psychology Today. “If you never get angry, it means you have no boundaries or you will not acknowledge them.”
When in the moment of anger, it’s important to realize what’s at play.
Research shows that anger impairs your ability to step back and see any matter from multiple perspectives, which can lead to conflict spirals. This holds true even when the residual anger is unrelated to the situation you are presently dealing with.
“What we’re finding is that when people feel angry, they’re collapsing in on themselves,” says Wharton professor Maurice Schweitzer about the studies. “They become far more egocentric.”
The researchers share that any emotion that results in high arousal – including happiness – means a diminished ability for perspective-taking, which requires greater cognitive energy. It’s important that when caught in anger to realize you are more likely to hold an egocentric perspective in this moment.
When Leaders Display Anger
Research has shown that displaying anger in the office has the potential to go several ways when it comes to leadership perception.
Leaders who are perceived to exhibit anger as a personality trait, as opposed to selectively and motivationally, are often seen as less effective. Especially when a leader’s anger is deemed inappropriate, it decreases employee motivation towards voluntary tasks.
Displaying anger has been associated with perceived power more than displaying sadness, however some research shows that showing sadness can actually create more positive outcomes for leaders.
Whereas showing anger is associated with “position (ie. legitimate, reward and coercive) power,” which does indeed have benefits in perceived leader effectiveness and follower loyalty, showing sadness is more associated with greater “personal (ie. referent) power”.
This means that leaders displaying anger are seen to have more coercive power, being solid in their position in the organization and the punishments and rewards they wield, but are less appealing on a personal level than leaders who display sadness. That can have some backfire effects on leadership leverage.
Another study shows that when a leader displays anger in response to a matter of integrity, this increases the perception of his or her leader effectiveness. However, when a leader displays anger in response to a matter of competency, this reduces perception of his or her leader effectiveness.
Also, it’s all in the eye of the beholder’s own feelings. Research that measured performance found that followers who were not very agreeable responded positively to a leader’s exhibition of anger, whereas followers who were highly agreeable responded poorly to the exhibition of anger by a leader.
When Women Exhibit Anger
Due to the glaring gender gap, the research on leadership perception and anger is skewed towards displays of anger by male leaders. Not surprisingly, anger is perceived differently if displayed by a woman than a man, though it’s entirely untrue that men experience anger more often than women.
What research has found is that while men experience decreased effectiveness when they cannot display anger, women are able to hold in the anger, and may even feel bad about experiencing it, but will still be able to act upon their feelings when the situation calls for it.
Beyond feeling it’s counterproductive, women leaders have a social reason to hold back on overt anger expression.
“Women incur social and economic penalties for expressing stereotypical ‘masculine’ emotions because they threaten society’s patriarchal barriers against the ‘dominance of women’,” writes Quintin Fottrell, summing up the researcher’s findings.
When women clearly exhibit the agentic (often masculine-identified) qualities that both sexes associate as primary to effective leadership, they fall into a double bind where they are seen as less communal than expected from a woman, and judged harshly.
Unless women exhibit both agentic and communal qualities simultaneously, women leaders can experience backlash.
Research on group deliberation found that men’s social influence increased when their opinion included an expression of anger, whereas women’s social influence diminished when they expressed the exact same opinion with anger.
Whereas participants confidence in their own position diminished when a man was expressing his position with anger (observers were more likely to question their own stance around an angry man), it solidified more when a woman expressed her position with anger.
The researchers found that “Participants regarded an angry woman as more emotional, which made them more confident in their own opinion.” While anger added to credibility for men, and increased their authority, it led to dismissal for women.
Women, unlike men, are also likely to be perceived in a poorer light by both men and women if they express anger about situations that have personally caused them harm rather than share with emotional neutrality. Women’s anger was attributed to her personality in this case, whereas men’s anger is perceived to be motivated by external circumstances.
It’s Different When Women Exhibit ‘Empathetic’ Anger
Not all anger is the same. Sometimes it helps to have anger attributed directly to personality, when it comes to advocating for or defending others.
A recent set of studies revealed that when women display genuine empathetic anger – “anger that is caused by witnessing or learning of harm done to another person” – they are positively perceived as signaling both agentic and communal leadership traits.
Women were significantly more likely to benefit from displays of empathetic anger than men, including being seen as more effective in their position. The reason is that observer’s more strongly attributed the empathetic anger in women leaders to their personalities, which reflected positively upon the leader’s character.
The researchers encourage women to be very forthcoming in displaying their empathetic anger, because it allows women to be witnessed positively as agentic while increasing their communal perception too. Empathetic anger is associated with prosocial behavior.
It’s frustrating to have women’s expression of anger under greater scrutiny by everyone, women included. It’s also good to know that when anger has a more collective feel, it works for reinforcing women’s leadership, as the injustices one women faces are rarely faced entirely alone.
When it comes to empathy, it’s one place women are rewarded for getting “too emotional.”
Authors Bio: Aimee Hansen is a freelance writer, frequent contributor to theglasshammer and Creator and Facilitator of Storyteller Within Retreats, Lonely Planet recommended women’s circle retreats focused on self-exploration and connecting with your inner truth and sacred expression through writing, yoga, meditation, movement and ceremonies.
By Aimee Hansen
Empathetic Anger: Is It the Only Acceptable Emotion for Women at Work?
NewsEmpathetic anger: the emotion felt in response to another person being hurt by someone or something else
Have you ever been told “don’t be so emotional?” at work?
I remember a specific moment in an office I worked in over ten years ago. A male boss was speaking to a female co-worker about something he was unhappy with in her performance, and while conveying his feedback, he told her not to be so emotional.
As he spoke in the fishbowl office, I watched from my cubicle while he paced back and forth, his hands waving emphatically through the air, his face and head getting redder and redder, his voice elevating until it carried right through the glass walls to where our team sat. My co-worker remained relatively calm in a chair in front of him.
When she finally came out with tears held back in her eyes, I considered the irony of what I’d just witnessed – how selective emotions that were more masculine-identified were permissible and somehow not too emotional?
And I wondered too, were the tears that stung in her eyes also anger, albeit withheld?
When Caught in Anger
All emotions are guides and most dangerous if denied, but the way we manage them and channel their outward expression matters. Today children – and girls particularly – are being encouraged to be in more in touch with anger, rather than repress it.
“It is natural and normal to feel anger,” iterates Audrey Nelson, Ph.D., in Psychology Today. “If you never get angry, it means you have no boundaries or you will not acknowledge them.”
When in the moment of anger, it’s important to realize what’s at play.
Research shows that anger impairs your ability to step back and see any matter from multiple perspectives, which can lead to conflict spirals. This holds true even when the residual anger is unrelated to the situation you are presently dealing with.
“What we’re finding is that when people feel angry, they’re collapsing in on themselves,” says Wharton professor Maurice Schweitzer about the studies. “They become far more egocentric.”
The researchers share that any emotion that results in high arousal – including happiness – means a diminished ability for perspective-taking, which requires greater cognitive energy. It’s important that when caught in anger to realize you are more likely to hold an egocentric perspective in this moment.
When Leaders Display Anger
Research has shown that displaying anger in the office has the potential to go several ways when it comes to leadership perception.
Leaders who are perceived to exhibit anger as a personality trait, as opposed to selectively and motivationally, are often seen as less effective. Especially when a leader’s anger is deemed inappropriate, it decreases employee motivation towards voluntary tasks.
Displaying anger has been associated with perceived power more than displaying sadness, however some research shows that showing sadness can actually create more positive outcomes for leaders.
Whereas showing anger is associated with “position (ie. legitimate, reward and coercive) power,” which does indeed have benefits in perceived leader effectiveness and follower loyalty, showing sadness is more associated with greater “personal (ie. referent) power”.
This means that leaders displaying anger are seen to have more coercive power, being solid in their position in the organization and the punishments and rewards they wield, but are less appealing on a personal level than leaders who display sadness. That can have some backfire effects on leadership leverage.
Another study shows that when a leader displays anger in response to a matter of integrity, this increases the perception of his or her leader effectiveness. However, when a leader displays anger in response to a matter of competency, this reduces perception of his or her leader effectiveness.
Also, it’s all in the eye of the beholder’s own feelings. Research that measured performance found that followers who were not very agreeable responded positively to a leader’s exhibition of anger, whereas followers who were highly agreeable responded poorly to the exhibition of anger by a leader.
When Women Exhibit Anger
Due to the glaring gender gap, the research on leadership perception and anger is skewed towards displays of anger by male leaders. Not surprisingly, anger is perceived differently if displayed by a woman than a man, though it’s entirely untrue that men experience anger more often than women.
What research has found is that while men experience decreased effectiveness when they cannot display anger, women are able to hold in the anger, and may even feel bad about experiencing it, but will still be able to act upon their feelings when the situation calls for it.
Beyond feeling it’s counterproductive, women leaders have a social reason to hold back on overt anger expression.
“Women incur social and economic penalties for expressing stereotypical ‘masculine’ emotions because they threaten society’s patriarchal barriers against the ‘dominance of women’,” writes Quintin Fottrell, summing up the researcher’s findings.
When women clearly exhibit the agentic (often masculine-identified) qualities that both sexes associate as primary to effective leadership, they fall into a double bind where they are seen as less communal than expected from a woman, and judged harshly.
Unless women exhibit both agentic and communal qualities simultaneously, women leaders can experience backlash.
Research on group deliberation found that men’s social influence increased when their opinion included an expression of anger, whereas women’s social influence diminished when they expressed the exact same opinion with anger.
Whereas participants confidence in their own position diminished when a man was expressing his position with anger (observers were more likely to question their own stance around an angry man), it solidified more when a woman expressed her position with anger.
The researchers found that “Participants regarded an angry woman as more emotional, which made them more confident in their own opinion.” While anger added to credibility for men, and increased their authority, it led to dismissal for women.
Women, unlike men, are also likely to be perceived in a poorer light by both men and women if they express anger about situations that have personally caused them harm rather than share with emotional neutrality. Women’s anger was attributed to her personality in this case, whereas men’s anger is perceived to be motivated by external circumstances.
It’s Different When Women Exhibit ‘Empathetic’ Anger
Not all anger is the same. Sometimes it helps to have anger attributed directly to personality, when it comes to advocating for or defending others.
A recent set of studies revealed that when women display genuine empathetic anger – “anger that is caused by witnessing or learning of harm done to another person” – they are positively perceived as signaling both agentic and communal leadership traits.
Women were significantly more likely to benefit from displays of empathetic anger than men, including being seen as more effective in their position. The reason is that observer’s more strongly attributed the empathetic anger in women leaders to their personalities, which reflected positively upon the leader’s character.
The researchers encourage women to be very forthcoming in displaying their empathetic anger, because it allows women to be witnessed positively as agentic while increasing their communal perception too. Empathetic anger is associated with prosocial behavior.
It’s frustrating to have women’s expression of anger under greater scrutiny by everyone, women included. It’s also good to know that when anger has a more collective feel, it works for reinforcing women’s leadership, as the injustices one women faces are rarely faced entirely alone.
When it comes to empathy, it’s one place women are rewarded for getting “too emotional.”
Authors Bio: Aimee Hansen is a freelance writer, frequent contributor to theglasshammer and Creator and Facilitator of Storyteller Within Retreats, Lonely Planet recommended women’s circle retreats focused on self-exploration and connecting with your inner truth and sacred expression through writing, yoga, meditation, movement and ceremonies.
By Aimee Hansen
Get More Clarity For Productivity At Work
Expert AnswersPeople give a variety of reasons for why they are stressed such as overwork, no control over work, lack of support, etc. The truth is, stress is very personalized. Some people are stressed by fast-paced jobs and others feel it when they are in a dead end, quiet job that bores them. The bottom line: We all feel stress from time to time. For women who are parents in particular, there are other stressors that are unique getting kids off to school in the mornings, taking care of things around the house if the mental and actual load of domesticity and life admin is not shared and the supporting community for those who are community-minded. Some are blessed to have helpful mates, but many are not so lucky. So, along with aspiring to be great in their role at work, they are tasked with everything else away from work. Little wonder that this is such an issue.
Yes, some stress is actually good for us. It’s what makes us care about a deadline and get and get moving to meet it. But too much stress can kill us. It robs us of clarity. It keeps us from focusing on an issue and solving it. we lose sleep, which makes the impact even worse. We stop being as productive as we could be.
Most people who are in positions of authority have a great deal of high expectations placed upon them. They are always “on” and they have to be pro-active about managing all of the pressure and demands of their role. Of course, most of them are highly compensated, but I can tell you from personal experience that when your stress is at its highest there isn’t enough money in the world to make it seem worth it.
So, how do we fix this, because it certainly needs fixing.
Seven Minutes, Times Three
First of all, to effectively deal with the demands and pressures of the day, we have to be proactive. We have to agree that the way we are doing it cannot continue without crashing and burning at some point. And, no job is worth that.
After searching high and low, I found my answer in mindfulness. We hear and read a lot about it today, but just a few years ago you had to look for it. Mindfulness is made up of several ingredients. For one, gratitude. It’s amazing what being thankful can do for our souls, even in the worst of times. Count your blessings, as the old song says, and name them one by one. When you do, you’ll see past any gloom and be convinced that that your life is good and, in fact, better than most. Be grateful. Gratitude is just one thing you can focus on when being mindful. There are so many more.
Another aspect of mindfulness is physical. It’s getting alone and quiet. It’s breathing and exhaling slowly.
When I first discovered the beauty and effectiveness of this, I was astounded. What I loved most about it was that it didn’t take a lot of time out of my day for it to work and be transformational. Busy people can do it, especially if they schedule it.
So, let me suggest this for you. Take 7 minutes first thing in the morning when you get to the office to just sit and breathe and only focus on your breathing. Don’t dive straight into your emails and text messages. If you have to, get to the office ten minutes early and close your door. Leave your electronics off.
Close your eyes. Get comfortable. Take a few deep breaths and as you exhale, you’ll bring your heart rate more in sync with your breath. Keep breathing slowly. This leads the brain to release endorphins, which is a calming effect. This is much more effective than any pill you could ever take.
And then, sometime during your day when you’re feeling overwhelmed with work or emotions, literally go through the motions of stepping back, pausing and breathing for 7 minutes.
Schedule 10 minutes of open time late in your work day between calls or appointments. Take 7 of those minutes to just pause and breathe. This will allow your emotions to calm down and get clarity, allowing you to move forward and be more productive.
That’s just twenty-one minutes. If you work a ten-hour day you are working a total of 600 minutes. That means you spent less than 4 percent of your day on de-stressing and finding clarity.
That leaves you 96 percent of your day to use your de-stressed mind to be more productive and capable. You’ll be healthier and your work will be better than ever.
Start tomorrow and see what happens. I wish you all the best.
Author Bio:
Ruth Klein, brand strategist and productivity coach for CEO’s, entrepreneurs and sales teams and the author of the upcoming book, Generation Why Not? 7 Principles to a Purposeful Business & Life, Driven by Attitude, Not Age.”
Guest contributor’s views are their own and not endorsed by theglasshammer.com- all rights reserved.
Black History Month 2020: Celebrating Amazing Women!
NewsHere at theglasshammer.com we are happy to honor and celebrate Black History Month 2020 by curating some of our favorite articles on the topic.
Research such as Catalyst’s work on the “Concrete Ceiling” on African American women in Corporate America, would show that there are specific systemic issues hindering the progress of this group.
Back in 2016, we wrote about how a person can individually think about their privilege, with trends being very much about a “check your privilege” that year. Surveys examined it, we navel gazed it with writers reflecting hard. But, did it matter? Has it mattered? Oscarssowhite then is proving to be the same now in 2020 despite amazing talent and hard work by African American artists with Janelle Monae even going to lengths to talk about it at the Oscars (with good allies.) We cannot seem to get past awareness and keep giving the biggest prize to the white guy. Watch Election 2020 for same results. Donald, Pete, Joe, Bernie, Mike? Not sure we will ever see a 5 person line up with names like Donna, Petra, Joanna, Bernadette and Mekayla. Nevermind Shonda or Sharifa in there.
There are certainly parallels present when it comes to the explicit resistance of people who have traditionally held all the cards of power with can be seen all day every day with on social media with the defense of the status quo with “Not all white people” as well as “Not all men” or “All lives matter.” When this happens, people need to ask themselves what are they feeling when they choose to defend an entire societal group with unknown people in there? Why do that? What is the cognitive emotional process that drives that behavior because if you know that you are trying to be a good person and do the right thing, why not focus on your own actions only individually and institutionally instead of defending people you do not know?
The Corporate Context
2017 saw losses in black female leaders at the top And, where are we now? It is hard to see the real progress down the ranks for pipeline. And, each firm and each industry certainly have degrees of effort and robust integrated talent processes to change the situation. We do know that black women are rising their hands for leadership.
Visibility continues to matter so here are some of our favorite profiles over the years of amazing women who identify as African American.
Publisher’s Pick:
1) Erika Irish Brown, Chief Diversity Officer at Goldman Sachs shares,
“If you expose people who are smart and hard working to opportunities – and provide them with an access point to begin a career – success follows.”
2) Ursula Burns (then CEO, Xerox) speaks at Catalyst shares,
“You have to moderate your voice so people can pick out the important things. You have to understand when it’s important to speak. I had to learn to kind of shut up. Not all of the things that are happening are important to me. I have calmed down about the areas that are not that important.”
3) Paula Anderson, Partner Litigation, Shearman and Sterling shares,
“Access to the pathways to success also means dealing with some of the unconscious biases that may exist,for example, there are certain preconceptions some people have with respect to women not having boardroom presence or not being aggressive enough. Particularly in the litigation field, there are certain ideas of what a successful and capable litigator should look like, and that’s often something akin to a Perry Mason.”
4) Valerie S Peters, SVP, and Head Relationship Management Services, Abbot Downing shares,
“When I entered the corporate world over 20 years ago, I believed that it was possible to achieve anything with hard work and discipline, and I still believe those are key ingredients to success,”
5) Susan Reid, Chief Diversity Officer, Morgan Stanley shares,
“Like many younger people I focused quite a bit on building technical skills and getting the work done, but if I had an opportunity to start over, I would focus on cultivating relationships earlier and sustaining those relationships over time,”
6) Kimberly Bryant, Founder and CEO, Black Girls Code shares,
“I spent 20-plus years as a woman in a male-dominated field and underwent struggles throughout my career as part of it. I was able to forge my path, but there were not many role models and I had to constantly prove my ability to thrive and compete in male-centric environments. That’s one of the key drivers for me – I want to to create a different environment for the girls coming behind me.”
7) Avis Yates Rivers, CEO Technology Concepts Group International shares,
“There are some technical women who want to be technical ICs. You need to find the environment to foster that. For women who have the vision or leadership – we need more CIOs in corporations. Find a mentor and let your interests and desires be known and have someone pushing you along the way.”
8) Lisa Davis, now Managing Director, Citi shares,
“Many people are afraid to network,” she continued. “I for one am a typical introvert and I’m not always comfortable taking the initiative to meet people and interact – but when you talk about true networking, that’s what you do! Its not just about meeting people, it’s about developing relationships rather than just collecting business cards.”
9) Carly Scales, Managing Director, Goldman Sachs Technology Division shares,
“Throughout your career, finding your true north and being comfortable in your own skin is really important. Having authenticity and being able to bring your full self to the office is an important component to ensure you can do your best work and contribute to your team at the highest level.”
Enjoy these and so many of our excellent profiles over the years.
Owning Your Mistakes: Why It Is a Mark of Leadership
Career AdviceThe best leaders don’t become less trustworthy when they make a mistake. They become more trusted – precisely because of how they owned and managed the process.
The Importance of Admitting When You Are Wrong
Previously, research across 3,100 employees in 13 countries revealed that the largest gap in leadership behavior between what matters to employees and what is perceived to be consistently demonstrated by supervisors is: “admitting when they are wrong.”
Eighty-one percent of employees considered it important or very important for leaders to admit mistakes, but only 41 percent felt their bosses consistently did so.
Researchers found that a leader’s willingness to “admit when they are wrong” is the top tested behavior when it comes to positively impact on employee job satisfaction and intention to stay in the job.
The Danger of Deniability or Deflection
An inability to perceive and admit mistakes is not at all a strength, but a weakness – and in a leader, it’s blind and dangerous.
Nobody enjoys being wrong, and Psychology Today points out that sometimes we accept full responsibility and sometimes we accept only partial responsibility for mistakes, but that is different than a tendency to “push back against the actual facts”.
When an individual repetitively pushes back on all evidence and is simply unable to admit he or she is wrong, it’s psychological rigidity.
“Some people have such a fragile ego, such brittle self-esteem, such a weak “psychological constitution,” that admitting they made a mistake or that they were wrong is fundamentally too threatening for their egos to tolerate,” writes Guy Winch, Ph.D., “Accepting they were wrong, absorbing that reality, would be so psychologically shattering, their defense mechanisms do something remarkable to avoid doing so — they literally distort their perception of reality to make it (reality) less threatening. Their defense mechanisms protect their fragile ego by changing the very facts in their mind, so they are no longer wrong or culpable.”
Winch points out that this person may appear as though standing their ground and not backing down, and we would then associate this behavior with being strong, but this behavior is anything but strength or conviction.
“These people are not choosing to stand their ground; they’re compelled to do so in order to protect their fragile egos…” write Winch. “It takes a certain amount of emotional strength and courage to deal with that reality and own up to our mistakes.”
If someone cannot admit a mistake in the face of clear evidence, if they have to blame something else, deflect or change the story, it’s because their ego is too fragile to allow the humility (or humanity) of erring. That’s the opposite of leadership.
On a lighter scale, even not vocally acknowledging a mistake or glossing over it can reflect a lack of awareness in the growth value of doing so.
“As any great leader will tell you, they have made many mistakes along the way. They will admit that it was the collective insight from bad decisions that taught them invaluable lessons – and how to see opportunities in everything and anticipate the unexpected more quickly,“ writes author Glenn Lopis in Forbes. “Successful leaders are transparent enough with themselves and others to admit their wrong doings so that those around them can also benefit from their learnings. They call this wisdom and many leaders lack it – because they are too proud to recognize mistakes as valuable learning moments for themselves and others.”
The Alchemy in Owning Mistakes = Trust
“Being a leader doesn’t mean that you’re always right or that you won’t err,” writes Jim Whitehurst, president and CEO of Red Hat, “What being a leader does mean is airing the reasons for why you did something and then making yourself accountable for the results—even if those you’re accountable to don’t directly work for you.”
Admitting and taking responsibility for a mistake means a willingness to show human vulnerability and transparency – which cultivates a sense of trust, adds to your credibility as a leader and earns respect.
“Typically, when leaders realize they’ve made a mistake, others have noticed, too. Leaders who then fail to admit they were wrong leave employees feeling as though their leaders consider being right more important than being honest,” writes Chris McCloskey, from Dale Carnegie Training. “Taking responsibility demonstrates that leaders value integrity over the easier paths of laying blame or hoping their mistake won’t be exposed. Admitting when you’re wrong also shows you’re aware of, and therefore in a position to learn from, your mistakes. This can build further confidence in your leadership.”
Owning your mistake provides an important sense of safety as a leader, and puts more validity behind your word. When employees feel safe, their talents and energies are put towards supporting the leader rather than protecting their position in the organization, while creating a culture in which employees can feel safe to take important risks and own their mistakes too.
Michelle Reina, of Reina Trust Building consultants, writes, “through nearly 25 years of trust-focused research and experience, we can give one piece of guidance to leaders seeking to increase their trustworthiness: Take responsibility for your mistakes.” Reina asks, “Do you remember the last time you didn’t just ‘get through’ a mistake, but embraced it as a ready-made opportunity to deepen trust?”
Reina argues that the authenticity, integrity and safety built through owning a mistake and then addressing solutions catalyzes trust: “In our experience, when you admit you’ve made a mistake, you don’t erode trust in your leadership, you strengthen it.”
What Women Must Keep in Context
Research shows women are more likely to hold on to mistakes emotionally and blame themselves, while men move on faster, tell “tidy stories” or exhibited detached perspectives on mistakes.
So while being forthcoming in owning real mistakes, it’s also important for women particularly to remember that ownership of a mistake does not justify or require self-shaming. And this is not about habitual apologizing, which is clearly something to break from.
Owning a real mistake is about owning a clearly bad judgment or decision as something you are capable of as a human, so you can acknowledge and learn from it. It’s about knowing you are big enough to admit an error, not making yourself smaller. Whereas self-shaming means women are going to a place of “I am bad” for having ever made that mistake.
“Women can spend less energy beating themselves up and more energy learning from the mistake,” writes Alina Tugenda, author of ‘Better by Mistake: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong’. “I’m not advocating blaming “the system,” but being able to depersonalize the mistake helps us to view it more objectively and learn whatever lessons can be learned from it.”
Navigating Your Mistakes
Ultimately, making a mistake or judgment in error is a reflection of having been willing to take the decisions that come at both risk and opportunity.
What matters is the ability to allow the humanness to acknowledge your mistakes cleanly without covering them up, displacing blame or overly internalizing and dramatizing the mistake.
Beyond owning the mistake, leadership actions are mitigating the damage, learning from your mistakes, openly working with your team to address solutions, helping others to avoid the same mistake and moving onwards.
A mistake is a mistake. The process of navigating the mistake can be a stepping stone towards greater trust, respect and admiration as a leader. As with anything, it’s how you handle it that makes the difference.
By Aimee Hansen
Aimee Hansen is a freelance writer, frequent contributor to theglasshammer and Creator and Facilitator of Storyteller Within Retreats, Lonely Planet recommended women’s circle retreats focused on self-exploration and connecting with your inner truth and sacred expression through writing, yoga, meditation, movement and ceremonies.
Seven ways to make 2020 a year without harassment of women at work
NewsIn 2017, an American actress, Alyssa Milano, tweeted: “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet”. The Twitter message went viral and triggered one of the largest contemporary movements against abuse of power, assault and harassment. The #MeToo movement provided visibility and continuous public scrutiny to the cases of abuse of power, sexual harassment and misconduct in the workplace. However, it has also highlighted the paucity of options open to women to report problem behavior in the office. Even though, it was effective for celebrities to use their public profile and social media to highlight their appalling treatment, it isn’t necessarily an option for everyone. Here are the seven ways to spend 2020 and the years ahead without harassment and sexual misconduct at work.
Call out inappropriate behavior if you see it in the workplace
We still need to deepen our understanding of the nature of sexual harassment and identify all types of inappropriate behavior that should be no longer tolerated in the workplace. According to the UN survey (2018), less than 2% of the sexual misconduct cases contain attempted or actual sexual assault in the workplace. The remaining 98% include being subjected to sexual stories or jokes, offensive remarks about body and appearance, attempts to draw into a discussion on sexual matters, gestures or use of body language of a sexual nature and touching. Be aware that all these actions belong to sexual misconduct in the workplace as even the least severe of them can cause long-lasting psychological damage and harm your productivity and wellbeing at work.
Ensure that your employer takes the threats of sexual harassment seriously
The #MeToo movement advocates changes to the laws, policies and regulations surrounding sexual harassment and assault, for example, instituting protocols that give victims the ability to file complaints and report predatory behavior without retaliation, as well as the elimination of non-disclosure agreements in the cases of sexual misconduct. The practical steps recommended to be undertaken by organizations include the recognition of inappropriate behavior, the declaration of a zero-tolerance culture on sexual misconduct and acknowledgement of male domination and the need to increase the presence of female leadership. Companies are, or at least should be, refreshed to the importance that the reports and investigations of misconduct should be treated proactively and robustly, with feedback to victims, survivors and the general public.
Ensure that your company has right toolkit to raise a complaint
There are social, cultural and practical barriers to reporting sexual harassment, abuse and misconduct. It can be very difficult to report misconduct in the office face-to-face or via email because the unwanted recipient of the harassment may feel awkward about discussing it, may be uncertain about how the complaint will be received or might wish to complain about someone who is in a position of power or authority over them. Fortunately, we have seen the creation of a market for new digital solutions of harassment reporting which hopefully will help make the complaint raising process easier and empower harassment victims to report all levels of inappropriate workplace conduct. For instance, a London-based technological start-up, Vault Platform, designed a “TrustTech” end-to-end platform that includes the employee app, corporate case management hub and data analytics and helps to support accountability and safety in organizations. This product empowers employees to speak up when they encounter misconduct.
Nurture the new working culture
The technical innovations alone won’t eradicate harassment from the office. The implementation of technological solutions to tackle harassment need to be interlinked to continuous improvement of organizational culture and personal accountability. To move forward the change in organizational practices and culture the creation of psychologically-safe and respectful working environments need to be emphasized. The lack of psychological safety in organizations generates fear and prevents employees from being effective, resourceful and creative. Psychological safety of individuals needs to be placed at the center of developing safe, inclusive and non-discriminatory working environments. The culture of effective innovation in organizations starts from securing psychological safety of employees, valuing human capital and creating transparency for the balance of power, respect, empathy and non-tolerance of abusive behaviors.
Sign up to kitemarks, codes of conduct and professional campaigns
We have also seen increased opportunities for companies to signal their values through schemes like #HeForShe campaign and #OvertoYou kitemark. Launched by UN Women in 2014, the #HeForShe campaign invites people around the world to stand in solidarity with women to create a visible and united force for gender equality. The #OverToYou Kitemark promotes the work organizations undertake to tackle sexual harassment in the workplace. The priority of workplace ethics has also raised in the codes of conducts and standards of many professional bodies, such as the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants (ACCA) and the Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) Institute.
Find creative ways to learn more and take inspiration
The #MeToo movement, toxicity and complicity in working environment together with the need for further female empowerment were among the main themes of popular culture in 2019. This brought several inspiring movies and TV series to watch to stay tuned for the #MeToo agenda. For example, a powerful TV drama The Morning Show with Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon shows authentically the complexity of workplace power dynamics and the deep psychological damage of sexual harassment. Another inspiring example is Bombshell with Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, and Margot Robbie, revealing the true story of how the culture of impunity at Fox News has been unchecked for decades and finally tackled by the acquisitions of 23 known victims. In addition, the New York Times reporters Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey published She Said: Breaking the Sexual Harassment Story That Helped Ignite a Movement, documenting the origins of the #MeToo movement and their investigation of Harvey Weinstein’s case.
Stay conscious
Despite the obligations of employers, regulators and society to ensure non-violent working environment, your safety in the workplace starts with you. Stay empowered by knowing that feeling safe at work is your fundamental human right and learn about the ways to identify and report on unhealthy power imbalances and misbehavior and the instruments to protect yourself.
Guest Bio:
Dr Galina Goncharenko is a Lecturer in Accounting at the University of Sussex Business School. Her research engagement project “The impact of harassment reporting technology on organisational accountability and psychological safety in the workplace” aims to move forward the change in organizational practices and culture emphasizing creating psychologically-safe and respectful working environments. The project facilitates the LinkedIn community “Organisations Without Harassment” to share effective practices and develop better methods of reducing workplace harassment.
Guest contributor views that are not necessarily those of the glasshammer.com – all rights reserved.
Claudine A. Chen-Young, Partner, Katten
Voices of Experience“It was remarkable how many young female associates even from outside of my group sent emails or called to congratulate me. It was really an ‘aha’ moment because I hadn’t recognized just how much of a role model I was for them,” she says.
That led her to focus her attention toward mentoring and sponsoring women associates in meaningful ways on a broader scale, an emphasis she continues today.
Ability to Pivot Leads to Success
Currently a structured finance and securitization partner at Katten, throughout her career Chen-Young has successfully navigated industry highs and lows—from surviving the financial crisis to developing and executing sophisticated deal structures and innovative transactions. She credits her professional resilience and ability to thrive during economic downturn to the personal relationships she had built and her track record for providing valued counsel, combined with a willingness to reinvent the types of transactions she could handle.
“Very quickly I was able to provide different services that were broader in scope than what I’d been doing before, and that ability to adapt and reinvent myself was critical to my success,” she says.
As partner, Chen-Young has extensive experience with securitizations of all types of residential mortgage loans and mortgage-related assets. In addition to securitizations, she advises issuers and underwriters in connection with a range of asset financings as well as asset purchase and sale transactions.
Looking at Diversity Through a Broader Lens
To Chen-Young, diversity means cultivating a culture of inclusion and empathy, which starts by looking past similarities and differences in one another. “We can understand others’ experiences without them being exactly like ours,” she says.
To that end, she says there is a propensity to try to get matched with a mentor who’s just like you, but that’s not always necessary. Instead, she believes that others should follow in her footsteps: “I wanted the mentor who would take me under his or her wing and champion my development substantively and professionally, regardless of our other similarities.”
She acknowledges that while having mentors and sponsors is important, she says that women should go a step further and search for a “champion.” Chen-Young said, “Especially at a large law firm, it is critical to have someone with a high profile either internally or externally facing with clients who takes an interest in you—that’s the type of person who will propel you forward in ways that others cannot.”
Community Outreach Enriches
Chen-Young is proud to be a 2019 Fellow of the Leadership Council on Legal Diversity (LCLD), an organization of more than 300 corporate chief legal officers and law firm managing partners committed to diversity in the legal profession. In her involvement with LCLD, she also mentors first-year law students in their 1L LCLD Scholars Program, underscoring the value of pairing more experienced legal professionals who can share their advice and help aspiring young lawyers avoid pitfalls.
Among the wisdom she shares with younger professionals is the importance of speaking up, rather than waiting to be asked. “It might seem safer to stay under the radar rather than taking a risk, but you elevate yourself by being proactive,” she says.
And she adds, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it. “Your delivery alone can change whether someone perceives you as competent or skilled. Unfortunately often we think we’re being polite when we apologize or take ownership of a mistake, but we’re really just highlighting it in a way that men wouldn’t,” she says.
Chen-Young is an avid supporter of Katten’s participation in The Mansfield Rule, a program that aims to increase representation of female and diverse lawyers in law firm leadership. She is also an active member of Katten’s Women’s Leadership Forum, which supports the advancement and retention of female attorneys by offering mentoring, skill-building opportunities, external and internal networking, and career development programs.
Outside of the firm, she sits on the nonprofit board for the DC Youth Orchestra Program, which is primarily focused on providing access to music education across the Washington, DC metropolitan area.
“I find that networking within your community is very valuable,” said Chen-Young, adding that she’s learned a great deal from meeting professionals in various industries. “Community service gives you a different perspective and keeps you engaged with the underserved beyond the field of law,” she says. “Ultimately, it’s important to be a citizen of both my legal and geographic communities.”
Finding Longevity in Finance
When reflecting on her legal career, however, Chen-Young is most proud of how she makes her business clients feel like she is part of their team—not an easy feat in the world of “Wall Street” finance. She accomplishes this by taking the time to understand her clients’ business and objectives from their point of view. She said taking this approach makes her more successful and efficient at the negotiating table.
“My advice to women looking to advance in traditionally tougher fields is to turn yourself into a strategic partner to your colleagues, your clients, and everyone you come in contact with professionally,” said Chen-Young. “But, above all, deliver high-level, solid, superior quality work.”
Chen-Young knows she is a testament to the fact that if you rise above, stay focused and work hard, you will ultimately be judged by your substantive skill and overall professional service.
“In that regard, I am lucky to say that my clients view me as a valuable, critical and strong business partner to the team,” she said.
What’s Your New Year’s (Career) Resolution for 2020?
People, Rising StarsSince theglasshammer is the online community designed for women executives in financial services, law and business, we asked new members of the Vice President and Executive Director Class of 2019 to share their New Year’s “career resolutions” in advance of the start of orientation:
Kristen Askin, Securities, New York: My career goal in 2020 is to empower my client base of institutional investors to be connected to Goldman Sachs more holistically, by introducing them to new parts of the firm and helping them to achieve their business objectives. To do this, I am excited to work together with my peers in other businesses by strengthening our relationships and learning from their expertise in other areas across the firm.
Natalia Barrey, Tax, Sao Paulo: My resolutions as a first year vice president are to continue to develop my management skills and leadership, and have a more strategic corporate viewpoint to help keep all members of our team informed and engaged, as well as to expand my contributions as a part of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Network.
Maya Bradshaw, Services, London: I’ve never really been one to set New Year’s resolutions (previously they have been too lofty to be attainable), but this year I have challenged myself to commit to a number of micro-habits designed to strengthen my mental and physical resilience so that I am well positioned to meet the challenges of being a newly promoted VP. These resolutions include goals such as taking the stairs to meetings on other floors, making time to be “mindful” and setting (and sticking to) my non-negotiables.
Elsie Cheng, Global Investment Research, Hong Kong: I hope to ride the frontier of technological innovation in China, continue to generate impactful ideas that align with the firm’s goals, add value to the franchise, and aim to have fun at the same time.
Kiley Colston, Controllers, Dallas: As I step into my new role this year, I plan to focus on two things: making a maximum impact and maintaining a work/life balance. These seem so simple, but showing up to work every day with an open mind, eager to step out, stretch yourself, build up others and develop new skills, all while prioritizing and carving out time for family and friends, comes with clear intentions, persistence and dedication.
Johannes Hahn, Investment Banking, New York: My career resolutions for 2020 are twofold: On one hand, to grow our risk management business, with particular focus on middle market clients in the context of the Investment Banking Division’s ‘Cross Markets Group’ initiative as well as across a variety of products, including the firm’s new transaction banking platform. On the other, to use the learnings from my own progression at GS from analyst to vice president across different teams and geographies to mentor our junior bankers as they develop their careers.
Archa Jain, Investment Banking, Mumbai: I would like to take complete ownership of execution of the projects I’m working on, expand my existing network and deepen client relationships to be able to source new business opportunities for the firm. In addition, I want to play a meaningful role in team-building and mentoring junior individuals.
Anna Jeschke-Chin, Corporate Treasury, New York: In 2020, I am looking to share knowledge beyond my immediate team. Information is currency, and sharing relevant information with people in other parts of the firm will keep you on their radar and might just lead to being included in exciting new projects.
Kahena Joubert, Merchant Banking, New York: My 2020 resolutions are to maintain the high levels of energy and strategic focus that I had last year, identify and excel at opportunities to be a leader, and give myself the time I need to successfully plan and enjoy my October wedding.
Christian Manion, Corporate Treasury, Salt Lake City: In 2020, I want to focus on long-term career ambitions and align my short-term responsibilities and goals towards those. I want to pay it forward by making a conscious effort to share my perspective with the team, help align goals, and pass along the lessons I continue to learn.
Leslie Odamtten-Addy, London, Internal Audit: In 2020, I will be moving to our Frankfurt office from London. A resolution of mine is to assimilate into the culture and environment of the Frankfurt office (which also includes learning German), while also maintaining connectivity to regional headquarters. Another goal is to invest in relationships and provide mentorship. I have been very fortunate to have had a number of wonderful mentors throughout my time at Goldman Sachs, and have learned the value of investing in key relationships across levels of seniority and the benefits of mentoring others on your own thought process and ability to be a more effective people manager.
Jade Trusty, Compliance, London: This year, I hope to accomplish the following:
Anne Shapiro, Consumer and Investment Management, Washington, DC: As I begin 2020 with a new title and additional time demands, my career resolution for the year is to build time leverage for myself. From taking advantage of new firm technology, to delegating more, to drawing on the Eisenhower Matrix for organizing priorities (and applying any other tips my colleagues might recommend!), I aim to maximize my productivity to serve clients better and grow my commercial impact.
Post Bonus Job Change: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
NewsThis is a common question that all executives working in financial and professional services have at this time of year after bonuses are paid. It is very tempting to start to think about how things might be better at a different firm. And, they might b! But, it is worthwhile to do a full audit with yourself to see where you are, what you want and then consider options around how to get an optimal situation. There are always options, you just need a clear mind to weigh the payoffs and consequences and it helps to triangulate that with data and feedback about you.
You, in context.
As an disciple of I/O psychology (I/O stands for individual/organizational), looking at you as an executive and then you in context of your team and firm, is a crucial way to understand what is totally within your control to change. And to understand and define what are not things you can easily change as cultural norms are woven in the fabric. A way to do this quickly this bonus season is to ask yourself what has been your peak experience of being in this job over the past year? What was it? (usually a project or a time) and what about it made it great for you? Dissect it. How did it make you feel? How did you show up? What would you do again and what would you not do again, behaviorally (action taking)?
Then ask what was the lowest point in the year? Same questions.
Notice if there are mostly things that pertain to you, or mostly to who did what other than you, and how work got done? Culture is everything. Workplace norms are mostly invisible but form the culture.
You. Just You.
What are your triggers? We all have them. Think about your most stressful moment, what behaviors tend to surface time and time again? If you can identify them, you have a chance at not reacting in the same old ways. This will give you control over tough moments at work and help you to “show up” the way that you want to!
Reflect upon your successes and your failures and what can you learn from both.
It is easy to get caught up in the daily stress of getting tasks done, but always take some time to formally reflect on the bigger picture. Whether it is journaling what is working for you and how certain tasks and dynamics are making you feel or unpacking your annual review with a trusted advisor or coach and always ensure that you are learning from the good and the bad experiences.
Next week we will discuss goal setting and motivation.
If you want to avail of the Winter 2020 coaching offer, we have spaces for new clients wishing to work on the topic of should i stay or should i go. We will be doing a deep dive into what you really want and what you do not want from an i/o perspective. Is it better to stay? if so and that is the answer that you get to using our coaching methodology, then the work becomes about making a plan to stay and succeed. if the conclusion is to leave for a new firm , then we have career change coaches that specialize in supporting you in the job search and secure processes also.
We can offer 5 sessions for $1800. Each session is up to 90 mins. Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com for a complimentary exploratory mini session to see if coaching is for you and to match you to the right coach.
Intrepid Women: Carol Evans, CEO, SHARE
Intrepid Women Series, People“Failure will help you advance in your career if you examine it carefully and accept it as an important teacher. Failure never lets up. It’s not about doing things wrong. It’s about learning and re-learning all the lessons that a challenging career offers.”
Carol Evans, Intrepid Woman, Pioneer and Advocate for working women shares her insights on what she wished she knew early on in her career journey. She continues, “Failure will always be with you. Be not afraid of it.”
Carol started her career in advertising in 1976 and worked on the test issue of a new magazine called Working Mother. Evans loved the idea of this magazine because her own mom went back to work when she was 12. “ It was the best thing that ever happened to my mom and to us, her children! Working mothers were the fastest growing segment of the workforce, and I knew how to help this new demographic because of my own mom’s career.” In her 10 years as publisher Evans took Working Mother magazine from a test issue to a full blown success with over 2 million readers. Ready to move forward in her career, she left Working Mother to join Stagebill magazine for the performing arts in a bigger role as President.
“Stagebill was amazing: Lots of opera and Phantom of the Opera, meeting famous singers, dancers and actors. I was a partner to the executive directors in the challenge to print programs nightly for 110 arts organizations.”
In 1996 Evans joined Chief Executive magazine as COO. “Meeting all these Fortune 500 CEOs made me feel that I could take on that role. They were just people–not gods! They were almost all men, which made me mad!”
Six years later Working Mother magazine came up for sale and Carol decided to put her career to the test. She went to 35 possible funders to acquire Working Mother, getting turned down 35 times. Then she met the CEO of MCG Capital and made a deal to buy the magazine and form Working Mother Media. It was August, 2001. Evans relays how the first order of business was to survive the terrible days after 9/11. She adds,
“We then built Working Mother Media into a powerful for-profit advocacy organization that took on the advancement of women as our guiding cause. We focused our magazine and websites, conferences and research on the needs of working moms, women lawyers, women of color, executive women, hourly workers and other segments of the female workforce. “
In 2015, Evans retired from Working Mother Media to co-found Executive Women for Hillary, which grew to a force of 2400 women nationwide working on Hillary’s primary and then presidential campaigns.
In late 2019, after 38 years in the media business, she joined the non-profit sector as CEO of SHARE, an organization started in 1976 by breast cancer survivors that now helps 200,000 women every year. SHARE brings women newly diagnosed with breast, ovarian, uterine and metastatic cancer together with women who have survived or are living with these cancers. Through group meetings, helplines and webinars SHARE creates a giving circle of support, knowledge sharing and community. She states,
“I’m excited about starting a new career! Leading a non-profit focused on the women who are so often overlooked in the battle against cancer as money flows to research but not to human beings is deeply meaningful to me.”
She continues that the non-profit world is new and fascinating to her..
“ The sense of purpose is exhilarating and the work is rigorous. Non-profits have had to navigate the digital revolution as much as for profits, and have come out stronger in most cases. SHARE combines digital savvy with face to face support for women who have entered a club that no one wants to join.Many of the volunteers at SHARE had big careers that they had to or chose to leave because of their cancer. SHARE gives them a challenging and deeply healing way to give back to new members of the terrible cancer club.”
The new thing she is working on now is fundraising on Facebook through individuals taking up SHARE’s cause on their birthday or their mother’s birthday. “We are excited to reach out to the millions of women whose lives have been touched by female cancers to support our organization.”
Risk, Reward and Achievements
When asked about achievements that she is most proud of she cites her new job as well as saving Working Mother magazine from certain death in 2001.
“Launching it (the magazine) in 1979 and being a successful CEO in a world where few CEOs are women is a great source of pride to me. Having the foresight to launch Best Companies for Working Mothers in 1986 and the bravery to launch Best Companies for Women of Color in 2002 is my most enduring contribution to women.”
Carol has certainly taken calculated risks and she recalls that when she left her very wonderful job as VP Publisher of Working Mother in 1989 to work for an entrepreneur it was because she wanted to become an entrepreneur. She states,
“ It was a gamble but it paid off when 12 years and 2 jobs later I was able to acquire Working Mother and form my own company, Working Mother Media.”
Outside of Work
Carol states, “My family is everything to me. Robert was born 9 years after we launched Working Mother and Julia was born just after I joined Stagebill. I loved being a working mother, with all the challenges and all the ups and downs. My husband Bob made it all work by encouraging my career at every twist and turn. He still doesn’t fold laundry the way I like but he’s been a great dad and partner.”
We congratulate Carol in her new venture and proudly bestow her theglasshammer mantle of being an Intrepid Woman.
Women, Get Promoted in 2020
Ask A Career Coach, Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!My favorite academic Hermina Ibarra discusses the spectrum of mentor to sponsor or advocate in HBR in a way that really demonstrates that it is ok to have a mentor but to not be surprised when they are just an advice giver as opposed to an opportunity giver or “cash their chips on your behalf” person for you.
Sponsorship, almost ten years old as a named concept
We first started writing about sponsorship when the term was coined by Sylvia Ann Hewlett in 2011 when she wrote with Amex about the benefits of the relationship for female executives looking to succeed at work. We continued to write about through the early teens of this past decade as people struggled with the differentiation of mentors versus sponsors. The conclusion that Ibarra makes and I agree with as an organizational coach, is that most formal sponsorship programs haven’t delivered and in some cases have been scrapped altogether. As she states in her article,
“Typically, they abandon sponsorship because experience has shown them that while you can ask senior executives to provide advice and support to high-potential women, you cannot mandate that they spend their personal capital advocating for people they don’t know well or may not be bullish about.”
So, what can you do? Figure out who is who in your network using Ibarra’s sliding scale of mentor, strategizer, connector, opportunity giver and advocate. Once you know where you stand, you can start to know what your ask is!
Know the talent processes
Secondly, I am often surprised when as a coach, someone tells me they want to be promoted but yet have not investigated the formal talent processes at their firm. It is important to know what you have to do to be in the running as sometimes there is formal nomination and that can form the very basis for the plan that will take you to the next level. You can tell HR or your boss that you are interested in a long-term future there at your firm and therefore would like to know what you need to do to be considered for promotion. You can even request a specific timeline as the worst that can happen is that you tell you nothing, which is information in itself. Observe what behaviors and who gets rewarded at work as these are cultural norms that play a part in subjective talent processes in firms that are looser on their formal processes.
You can then focus your networking, and your work projects. When you are doing stretch assignments that matter, find ways to make sure others know as that is better than working yourself to the bone and expecting the reward on sheer volume of work alone. Start having the right conversations with the right people, and if this sounds political then know that is how life implicitly works as men have meetings outside meetings all the time in the bathroom, bar, ballgame and the hallway. I sit in cafes a lot with my laptop and I hear men gossip about work even more than women do and they never say that other men are not competent, yet I hear women colleagues being undermined over coffee by women and men, sadly most days. The double bind of how you are darned if you do and darned if you don’t!
Other things to do in 2020 to get promoted
Thirdly in 2020, read the book by long-time collaborator and friend of theglasshammer Sara Canaday called “You, according to Them” that will help you understand that how you are perceived is just as important as who you actually are.
Lastly, to get promoted one of the best strategies is to get a coach. The FT just reported it’s the biggest thing so far in 2020 for career success and empirical evidence suggests randomized control tests showed that 85 per cent of coachees were better off than those in the control group, not just in their own view, but also in the opinion of their line managers.
Hermina Ibarra’s latest work espouses coaching style for managers as the future. I believe her.
We walk the talk so call us for a complimentary chat about whether a coach can help you get what you want in 2020. Email nicki@theglasshammer.com as we have real life success stories for the past seven years of coaching VP, SVP, Managing Director and C-level women in the financial, professional and technology industries. Put coaching in the email subject line.