Tag Archive for: executive coaching

OP-Ed: Why Female Leaders Experience More Burnout and What to Do About It

,

Jessica ThiefelsWhile COVID took a toll on all of us, women in the workplace are feeling the burnout effects at higher rates than their male counterparts. Data from a 2020 McKinsey poll found that:

  • 53 percent of women reported feeling job-related stress, compared to 46 percent of men
  • 37 percent of women felt exhaustion, compared to 31 percent of men
  • 32 percent of women felt burnout, compared to 28 percent of men

The disparity is even more obvious at the senior level. For example, 54 percent of senior-level female leaders felt exhausted compared to just 41 percent for men, and 39 percent experienced burnout with only 29 percent of male leaders reporting the same.

To counteract widespread burnout as a female leader, it’s important to understand the root causes of your work-related stress and find actionable ways to avoid it. Here are some strategies you can use as a female leader in the workplace fighting burnout during COVID and otherwise.

Understand the Relationship Between Mental Health and Burnout

Burnout is due to chronic stress, fatigue, cynicism, and lack of accomplishment, according to a study from Frontiers in Psychology. What’s more, the research indicates that burnout often shares commonalities with depression and anxiety.

With stress at the root of burnout, it’s vital that you not only be aware of how stress levels can impact your mental health but your physical health as well. You may not notice the stress if you’re used to it, but you might notice these physical stress indicators:

  • Tense muscles
  • Blood pressure increase
  • Increase in heart rate
  • Hyperventilating
  • Off-balanced digestion

In “How to Free Yourself From Stress”, HealthMarkets explains that the real trouble starts when this stress becomes chronic. They explain, “The constant physiological response wears us down, affecting several major biological systems. Our stores of energy drain. Our bodies produce fewer infection-fighting T-cells, so our immune systems become weak, making it easy for illnesses and diseases to push their way into our lives.”

Fight burnout: Use an app like Symple to track your daily mental and physical health. It’s easy to ignore stress when it’s become the norm for you. This small step will force you to focus on your overall health each day, which can point you to burnout before it becomes a problem.

Fight Back Against Social Media Fatigue

Female leaders are expected to write sharp industry articles on LinkedIn and promote themselves as the face of a brand on Twitter. Not to mention, it’s often a component of our personal lives. Yet, excess social media consumption can also lead to burnout.

The problem is that too much social media exposure is dangerous to mental health, especially for female leaders. Recent research has found that social media fatigue is a legitimate condition that can lead to anxiety and exhaustion.

As a modern successful woman, you’re constantly taking in the highlight reel of your peers and colleagues. To make it even worse, instances of “mom-shaming” for working mothers are on the rise since the start of COVID-19.

Fight burnout: How often do you mindless scroll on social media? Probably more than you think. Set social media boundaries so you can still show up where you need to, but walk away when you don’t. For example, you set a rule that you can’t look at social media until 10 am and then you put it away for the night after dinner. If you can’t stop yourself, let your phone do the work with an app like Offtime.

Untangle the Excessive Demands on Female Leaders

Based on the same McKinsey data, COVID-19 workplace shifts caused unequal challenges for female leaders, especially when compared to men. The pressures of household responsibilities, fear of suffering job performance, and lack of flexibility/work-life balance forced many women to scale down their careers or leave their job. One in three working mothers faced this decision due to limited childcare options.

It’s even tougher is when you’re the solitary female in your position. The report explains, “Senior-level women are also nearly twice as likely as women overall to be ‘Onlys’—the only or one of the only women in the room at work.” This circumstance sets the stage for microaggressions, criticisms, dismissals, and high-performance stakes, all of which contribute to female leaders experiencing burnout 1.5 times more than male leaders.

If you add childcare into the equation (working mothers currently spend 15 more hours on domestic labor per week than men), it becomes an impossible situation.

This is when it becomes important for organizations to play a role in helping women mitigate their burnout.

How Organizations Can Help Female Leaders Combat Burnout

You’re likely not the only woman dealing with this burnout in your organization—and in some cases, it takes the organization to make changes for you to be able to better manage the stresses put on women in the workplace.

Consider using these strategies to recognize and counteract burnout for women company-wide:

  • Promote mental health awareness: Ensure transparency surrounding mental health benefits, I.E. therapy and other available resources. If your benefits plan is lacking, Eric Freedman, founder and CEO of eSkill, suggests circumventing financial barriers by exploring options such as telehealth counseling sessions or access to mobile wellness subscriptions. Companies can also provide mental health support with group meditation classes. Organizations including Nike, Google, and Sony have built this into their company culture.
  • Support working mothers: Assist working mothers in finding solutions for childcare or allow for more flexible hours for those who also home-school their children due to COVID. Don’t just to send an email or memo, but make changes that help women make these changes in their workday. What’s more, female leaders can lead by example by setting boundaries, like being offline at certain times, so their direct reports know that it’s acceptable to do the same. Check out this Fast Company piece, which highlights how other companies provide for the “patchwork of childcare needs” of their employees.
  • Get real: It’s important that company leaders don’t just talk about these things, but they take real action. This will look different for each organization, starting with getting serious about allowing for greater flexible schedules, getting realistic about workloads and where support is needed, updating paid leave policies, and even discussing whether female leaders’ pay is equivalent to the work they’re doing.
Female Leaders: Support Yourself and Others

Whether you manage women in leadership positions, shape your HR policies or workplace culture, or are a female executive, you’re likely experiencing burnout in some way. The first step to solving this issue is understanding where the root causes are and then taking real action to provide solutions. It’s time to put sustainable policies and processes into place so female leaders can do their job without an impossible burden on their shoulders.

Jessica Thiefels is the author of 10 Questions That Answer Life’s Biggest Questions, podcast host of Mindset Reset Radio, CEO of Jessica Thiefels Consulting and founder of the Femxcutive Personal Brand Coaching Program. She’s been writing for more than 10 years and has been featured in top publications including Forbes and Entrepreneur. She also contributes to Fast Company, The Ladders, and more. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn.

/by

Four Steps to Making Professional and Personal Life Change in 2021

,

Nicki GilmourOur lives changed one year ago this week, in ways we could not have predicted. Most professional women lost the office, the commute and socialization with clients, coworkers and friends in New York City, London or wherever we live and work around the country and the world.

Cities emptied as many relocated to the countryside or the suburbs. Mothers took on 15+ more hours a week of domestic work and childcare, and some left work due to the strain. Others experienced a workforce reduction that cut across every sector in one way or another.

In an unprecedented year, many of us have felt shock, pain, loss and grief in different ways for different reasons. As most changes to our world endure, this brings another level of internal processing and feelings.

In a time where the external context has felt both uncertain and unfamiliar, many of us have felt more compelled towards reconnection with our center, our internal compass and our animating purpose—What do I value? What do I want to envision and create? Where do I want to focus my energy and attention?

These questions matters, now as much or more than ever. Here are four steps to support in the process of re-evaluation:

Step 1: Feel the feels.

Let yourself feel everything, but know that you are not your emotions, rather that you experience these emotions.

“Emotional Agility” is important. Being able to recognize and name how you feel and know that you can see it objectively, and not only experience it subjectively, means understanding that you are not the emotion.

Emotions are data that can help you understand what next steps are right for you. The amazing Dr. Susan David at Harvard has worked extensively on helping people understand that if we put our emotions to one side to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to deal with the world as it is, instead of as we wish it to be.

In her TedX talk, she recounts that over the years, when people say they don’t want to try something or they prefer to avoid disappointment or they want fear and shame to just go away, her humorous response is: “I understand, but you have dead people’s goals.”

David offers a free quiz to begin the journey of becoming more astute about your emotions, and her bestselling book is a great way to start getting in touch with your emotions as your guides.

“Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad,” she states. “Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness. It’s unkind and ineffective.”

Ignore the societal call for relentless positivity and keep it real, so you can be honest with yourself about how you feel. You will be happier for it and more guided towards genuine contentment and joy, because you listened to yourself.

Step 2: Take Care of Inner Business.

“Wherever you go, there you are” is the saying.

Who are you? Do you behaviors line up with what you say matters to you? Or, what are you committing to, instead? How do you show up for yourself?

In her excellent book Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader and in her body of work on transitions, including during Covid (quick read here), Herminia Ibarra suggests that in the messy business of getting to where we want to go, we should consider not only our current selves but our future possible selves also.

“Possible selves are the ideas we all have about who we might want to become. Some are concrete and well-informed by experience; others are vague and fuzzy, nascent and untested,” writes Ibarra. “Some are realistic; others are pure fantasy. And, naturally, some appeal more to us than others.”

List your skills, your values and who you want to be. To self-assess your driving inner forces around recognition, fairness, and autonomy, for example, take the SCARF free quiz to see where you fall on the spectrum of these behavioral motivators.

Harvard’s longest running study on adult development suggests that while we say we want money and success, those who live the healthiest, happiest and longest actually share one essential experience —having deep human connection. That includes with ourselves.

Why not use the shake-up of this liminal time to shine an investigate light in the places where you have been on auto-pilot and check-in if you are still living in alignment with yourself, now?

Step 3: Commit to the Changes You Want to Make.

In this blurry time, I invite you to take stock as professional women to review what is working for you and what needs to simply change—in both your inner story and your outer physical world.

Change is hard and neuroscience and psychology shows us that we tend to stick with what we know through routines, even if the habits aren’t that useful to us anymore. Trying to live like we did before is pretty impossible, but being resilient and adaptable amidst whatever this new decade brings in our world is key.

It is the mental or even professional pivot, not the hanging on, that will empower you. Pivoting is something that we are all doing, whether it is small adjustments to how we work or a big transition into a new career altogether. Ibarra has always argued that we are all in transition at work, but we just don’t know it yet.

Businesses who have pivoted during the pandemic have seen the best results when they protect their core, while innovating slightly to meet needs of a changing customer. Company culture and brand purpose matters the most—who are you and what do you stand for?

If businesses are taking stock of these questions, take the same permission slip: Who are you, now? What do you value, now? Where do you wish to set your vision and put your energy, from now onwards?

Step 4: Elevate Your Development With a Coach.

I know this is going to sound strange, but as an executive and leadership coach, I effectively spend four to eight hours per day inside other people’s heads. Like in the movie Being John Malkovich, I become privy to the inner voices that we all have, and it is fascinating to witness the “truths” that we all tell ourselves.

We all have a bunch of constructs, albeit different ones, that make up our default operating system. Your brain, mostly your unconscious, is running the show and is building data models day and night via associative process. This comprises your worldview or mental model, literally the lens through which you experience your life—unless seen, challenged, disrupted and revisioned.

We’re often blind to what creates our limits and blocks. We all have goals, but we need to surface our subconscious gremlins, who are trying to thwart are best-laid plans for change by creating hidden competing agendas.

A great model for approaching this internal work by yourself is available in the book Immunity to Change, which really is a life-altering read that I have discussed at length here on the site. Imposter syndrome runs rampant with successful overachievers, and I have not met one client yet who doesn’t have some deep fear of failure, wobbly sense of worthiness, or hidden insecurity or shame.

But you don’t have to be beholden to these gremlins anymore, and you don’t have to overcome them alone, either.

You can do so much to clear the debris and make real change uninterrupted by your subconscious fears. Neuroscience research has now caught up with what social psychologists have been hypothesizing on for decades: The brain is high elastic or plastic and even the most entrenched behaviors can be modified.

Ibarra and others suggest that coaches are key to the process of making the changes you most hunger for: Firstly, in talking it all out. Secondly, in helping you make real and actionable plans. Thirdly, in acting as an accountability partner and advocate to be in your corner as you navigate the course to new territory.

Are you ready?

If you would like to work with Nicki Gilmour as your executive coach, she has some (daytime only) spots left or we have a cadre of vetted professional coaches available (some have evenings available). Please click here for an exploratory call.

Packages start at $799 for 2 sessions, 5 sessions for $1999 and ten sessions for $3,899.

by Nicki Gilmour, CEO and Founder, Evolved People (theglasshammer.com)

/by

How to Achieve What You Want Professionally in 2021

,

Nicki GilmourIt is the time of year when professional women (and men) try to finish out the year at work. Reflecting upon and making meaning of an extraordinary year is no easy task as we look back at 2020. An executive coach can help you figure out what matters to you as we enter 2021. Flash forward a year from now, what story do you want to be telling about how your 2021 went? Achieve what you want professionally next year!

Working with a coach is a great way to accurately goal set and get clarity and not just rely on hope as a strategy. Executive coaching helps you behaviorally align to  achieve what you want, no matter what 2021 throws our way. Self- efficacy is a pretty interesting topic at a time when productivity hacks are definitely top of mind.

Promotion or Just a Better Version of Yourself?

Whether it is promotion, advancement, enjoyment, renewal, growth or balance and boundaries at work, most people have some thoughts about how they want 2021 to play out.  Coaching is a process but it is also very much a relationship between coach and ‘coachee’. It can be very intimate in the sense that both the coach and the client has to show up with honesty and vulnerability. Curiosity is important , but not for curiosity’s sake but rather to truly evoke true insights that the client can experience to help them further their leadership or career journey. Sometimes people know the questions and answers consciously and just need help with options. Sometimes people may not know the questions or answers that they need to solve for their challenges or mindset.

The What, The Why, The How and The When

Everyone who comes to coaching knows they want to change something. Or at the very least, the know they want to be a better version of their current selves at work, as a leader or an aspiring leader. Figuring out what you want to achieve, defining it and making sure it is really want you want is cemented by checking in on the ‘why’ you want it. This way we tap into understanding your motivation so we can leverage that to make it actually happen. Are you committed? If not, let’s find out why! And, find out what you really want.

The best way to succeed in 2021 is to clear the life long mental debris, and surface any lingering competing agendas that hunker down in your subconscious and tell you things like you don’t have time or you aren’t good enough which stops you from going after your goals.

More often than not, the subconscious sometimes heard in self-talk, drives the bus, so goal setting is futile if behaviors are not aligning with achieving those goals and your brain tricks you into rationalizing it all that everything is as it should be. Literally, coaching work we do here at theglasshammer is based on a methodology developed at Columbia university and further developed by our head coach. It encompasses adult learning theory, developmental psychology and our immunity to change, neuroscience, behavioral science, social or individual/organizational psychology known as I/O psychology and psycho-dynamic theory around groups and how they operate. In plain english? It boils down to two things:

  • Fear, shame or esteem issues might be sitting hidden in your subconscious paralyzing you from being your greatest version of your professional self.
  • Sometimes it is not about, the systems and dynamics are dysfunctional and you are bearing the brunt of it in your role mostly.  Also sometimes also there are traits in your identity or personality that accentuate issues or make you take up a role like the person who calls it for example.

In coaching, the co-creation of the “how to” begins with a serious look at context, where do you work and what are the organizational norms as these do vary depending on the team and workplace. How does work get done? What is rewarded and what gets tolerated that should be?

Coaching Leaders in Real Life

If you are a leader who struggles with followership after a very successful career built on getting things done, then it is a matter of looking at how work gets done around you.

EQ is about adapting. So, if despite your technical competence and generally mastery of skills, you just cannot get people onboard with the plan the way you want to see it executed, you may be left scratching your head.

Chances are you are not hearing people around you when they explicitly or infer things to you about the project and how they see their role in it. Not listening to feedback, everyday conversations, observations on how people act and react is probably part of what is going on there.

When talking about feedback, I am not referring to the once per year performance formal feedback review. The answers are always in front of you, even in passive aggressive “covert process” type teams and organizations where people seem to say yes but do what they want anyway.

Maybe, you are a manager whose peers and managers do not think you are ready for the next step. Again, what are you missing here? Is it a behavior of yours? Is it something you are or are not doing? What should you do more of, less of and maybe stop or start doing?

If you are a leader who needs to internalize that leadership identity, chances are you have “imposter syndrome” and you might be working very hard in the same way as you always have. Often people who have these tendencies of being “insecure overachievers” do not realize that the behaviors of large amounts of quality work output that got them so far, is not what is going to take them to the higher echelons of company management. Authenticity comes into play here as they struggle to shift identities as fear dictates so much around losing the identity of being the expert.

Cognitive understanding of what you need to do is one thing, behavioral change is another and it is very hard to do.  That is where a good coach  can come in to help you look at your options. Caveat emptor, buyer beware, there are millions of coaches out there as the industry is under-regulated, feel out the fit with a chemistry meet and ask for their methods and see if they are certified by the ICF at PCC level.

What should you expect? After a time, some people can start to reflect not just on action but in action and make behavioral choices in the meeting live time no longer beholden to the old ways that were not longer working for them. Real strategic insights and executive muscle can be built.

You get to be in the movie and watch the movie at the same time. Who wouldn’t want that?

To book an exploratory call with Nicki our founder and Head Coach select a time below

‌

/by

Six Ways Executive Coaching Can Improve Your Life

Improve Your Life

Coaching is often misunderstood. It is not consulting, as the objective of coaching is not teaching or giving advice, but to facilitate your ability to learn about yourself, unlock your own potential, and improve your life.

If you’ve advanced to the upper ranks of your profession, do you even need an executive coach? You got this far, right? Especially at the executive level, having a great coach can dramatically enhance both your leadership and your life. In these times when leading with empathy is a necessary trait, a coach can help you show up to your team with a profound and helpful way to navigate this insanely difficult year as a professional woman in financial services or anywhere.

What can an executive coach do for you? Here are 6 ways that professionally and personally, a coach can help you become the leader and the executive you want to, and need to be.

1. Own Your Leadership Strengths

Own and hone your abilities. Leadership is as learned and acquired as it is somewhat innate. Research regarding female twins explores how developmental experiences and genetics work in tandem to create female leaders. This work, published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, has found that around 30% of factors that lead to women in leadership roles are genetically influenced. This research seems to find that some people are literally born for capacity to lead with executive capabilities inherently there. The other 70% has to do with direct experiences and family influences. Within that a large proportion of success is attributed to securing and occupying a leadership role in the first place or climbing the ladder.

Part of executive coaching is unearthing the natural leader you already are, including identifying your unique strengths and styles. This includes bringing into your awareness the inherent talents that you might not be aware of, or are not valuing enough.

If you are gifted at visioning future opportunities or quality listening or making unexpected connections, you might take that skill for granted. An executive coach can reflect back your unique aptitudes, validate them and help to leverage them more. A coach helps build self-assurance so you can be relaxed in your own skin as a leader.

2. Transition into Leadership Mindset

As you move up, it becomes necessary to re-orient your focus towards your leader role. Coaching will provide valuable “cold, hard truth” about your weaker areas that can be developed.

Part of moving up in an organization is letting go of your comfort zone (how you focused your attention and efforts before your current position).

Putting your head down and doing your own quality work was enough before, but now must evolve to motivating and inspiring others. Coaching can help you to develop a new set of responses and priorities at work.

3. Expand Your Self-Awareness

Executive coaching can help executives focus on self-awareness, so you can see both yourself and others more clearly. A coach helps you to pause and reflect on your unconscious thinking and to question your assumptions and beliefs.

When you dismantle core ways in which you are inhibiting yourself, your perception can widen to transform both your professional and personal life.

Most of us don’t see ourselves clearly, but self-awareness is highly correlated with effectiveness as a leader and with attracting followers. It includes being able to understand how you see yourself and the world, what biases you hold, what beliefs you possess and the impact you might have on others.

With your coach, you examine the way you think and process circumstances and how that creates outcomes. You might consider what thinking process led to a specific action and outcome, and how you could have perceived and responded differently.

You will question core limiting beliefs, often hidden from your conscious awareness, that keep you trapped in emotional cycles, self-sabotage or repeating “safe” behaviors that undermine your potential.

Coaching serves to elevate your emotional intelligence, which becomes more essential the higher you go, and affects your quality of presence, how you respond within a moment and perhaps what kind of skills you need to seek in those around you.

The more emotional intelligence you have, the higher you will go at work.

Research shows that some women have more emotional intelligence than men, if you are one of those women use it. If you are not, and there are many women who do not fit this stereotype, then work with a coach to develop it.

4. Enhance Quality of Relationships

Coaching helps you to gain a more accurate sense of how others perceive you as a leader, which can throw the light on challenge areas to affect better outcomes.

Over 70% of people have shared that coaching improves work performance, relationships and effective communication skills. It helps you to see others more clearly, and to see interpersonal issues between you and others more clearly.

Coaching can help you to examine your limited beliefs about others, especially those who aren’t like you, so you can form productive and rewarding relationships with a more diverse range of people.

5. Improve Focus and Decision-Making

Tony Robbins asks, “Are you majoring in minor things?”

Coaching helps to clarify your core personal and professional values, so you can structure and direct your attention in ways that create real fulfillment. A coach helps you discern between being busy and being effective, so you can better focus your precious energy.

A coach provides valuable external perspective on your strategic thinking and ideas – bringing new angles to consider, pointing out blindspots, giving validation, helping you to articulate your ideas more clearly and step-by-step and helping to navigate execution, even in making bolder moves.

A coach can challenge the assumptions that are limiting your progress. By providing a reflection on patterns or fears that hinder and obstruct your thinking, a coach can help you become more effective at decision-making.

6. Gain A Dedicated Ally

In the feminine version of the heroic journey, there is help along the road. A coach represents an ally that walks the path with you, always in your corner, supporting your development and achievement.

Whether it’s truth-talking on where you’re stuck or advocating for your gifts, a coach will be your confidante and champion in the leadership journey. A coach offers a detached perspective that helps to bring life into clarity, focus and often wider possibility.

As well as helping clarify what you want, outlining how to get there, and then helping navigate the path, your coach becomes your accountability partner along the road to your goals, reminding you of your intentions, where you want to go and why.

With the mental, emotional and strategic inspiration and support of coaching, the leadership road becomes a more personal and expansive journey than you may have ever imagined.

by Aimee Hansen

/by

What would you like to change for 2019?

By Nicki Gilmour

Let’s face it, we are always changing, evolving and adapting to survive. Imagine how you can use change to thrive.  

Last week, we talked about themes from 2018 and what was memorable to you. What is your “theme” going into 2019? Is it a new theme? Are you carrying around a theme that you no longer want? Is it even your theme? Or is it what you think you ‘should’ be doing according to other people’s wisdom? Or even due to ‘norms’ for people at your stage of your career or life?  

Think about what you want and then think about what you have to do to get there. Simple right? Sounds like goal setting, right? And it is mostly. But something to also consider is the behavioral piece of achieving goals because if you have a goal and your actual actions are not aligning then it might not be as easy as it looks on paper.  

What do you have to do? And will you do it? What is behind what you tell yourself? 

Who do you have to be? Who do you want to be in 2019?  

Book a free exploratory chat with Nicki to see if coaching will help you get you further, faster.

/by