By Aimee Hansen
With the recent International Women’s Day 2019 mantra being #Balanceforbetter, we have proof that giving less of yourself at work could be the best move for you and your career.
Being overly conscientious and accommodating in your work approach – which women are far more likely to be – may diffuse your energy and impact, without helping you advance in the office.
Overcoming the compulsion to overwork is about more than being mentally strategic and discerning with the work you do, though changing behaviors can change beliefs. The hardest part of choosing not to do too much may be riding through the emotional discomfort of not being as overly conscientious as you’re used to.
As girls and women, we’ve come to believe we have to work very hard not even to get ahead, but just to stay safe.
What did we really learn as girls at school?
“What if those same habits that propel girls to the top of their class — their hyper-conscientiousness about schoolwork — also hold them back in the work force?” writes Dr. Lisa Damour in the New York Times.
At school age, girls have the edge on performance and they also work harder, have greater discipline and perform better. Damour finds that girls are more likely to grind away and to leave as little as possible room for error. Anecdotally, it’s observed that boys are more likely to up their game if something slips, while girls are less likely to allow the possibility of slippage, holding the energy of maximum effort.
Damour writes, “We need to ask: What if school is a confidence factory for our sons, but only a competence factory for our daughters?” She asserts that with girls, we need to stop applauding ‘inefficient overwork’ and start rewarding ‘economy of effort’.
Part of this is encouraging girls to acknowledge how much they already know and then where to focus their mastery building, as opposed to only building up capacity for work. The confidence gap and stress gap between genders is only widened when girls and women put disproportionate stock in their ability to work extra hard, as opposed to their innate abilities to deliver good results.
We think we have to work harder (and we do) at work.
A study designed to monitor the impact of privacy filters on productivity at 3M also verified the suspicion that women employees work harder. “During a ten minute experimental trial, female employees worked longer without (2.5 minutes vs 2.1 minutes) or with (4.9 minutes vs 4.3 minutes) a privacy filter. 52 percent of male workers walked away during a waiting period while only 38 present of women did.
Across three decades of studies, professional women in both Britain and the United States are also significantly more likely than male peers to agree to the statement “My job requires that I work very hard.”
“Between a man and a woman who hold the same job, shoulder the same burdens at home and have the same education and skills, the woman is likely to feel she must work harder,“ said co-researcher and sociologist Elizabeth Gorman.
The researchers speculate that “the association between gender and reported required work effort is best interpreted as reflecting stricter performance standards imposed on women, even when women and men hold the same jobs.”
Being too conscientious adds up to emotional exhaustion.
Women tend to experience more stress in the workplace – and a UK survey found up to 67% higher stress levels for women between 34 and 44 compared to men.
Research on organizational citizenship behavior (OCB) explored five types of behavior for impact on individual well-being: “altruism (helping a colleague), conscientiousness (going beyond the minimum), civic virtue (involvement in the organisation), courtesy (avoiding work-related problems with others) and sportsmanship (tolerating inconveniences and impositions of work).”
The research showed that employees who regularly put in hours and effort beyond the call of duty experience more emotional exhaustion and work-family conflict – especially for those who carry out responsibilities at a high level.
The study also found “employees who already performed well in their job and had a high level of conscientiousness also suffered significantly higher emotional exhaustion and work-family conflict. Those who exerted greater effort in their work and family roles, with a general sense of not wanting to let people down, found they had little left in reserve, increasing the challenges of balancing work with a healthy family life.”
Doing well at work, not surprisingly, leads to more work: “Managers are prone to delegate more tasks and responsibilities to conscientious employees who are likely to try to maintain consistently high levels of output.”
If you get hooked to hyper-conscientiousness as your success card, you’ll feel you have to keep it going, even when it grows.
What if we just cared less?
Beyond the external demands, clinical psychologist Dr Jessamy Hibberd, co-author of This Book Will Make You Calm, notes the internal demands that we create for ourselves on top of external demands. “These are the pressures you place on yourself,” Hibberd told The Guardian. “For example, checking and rechecking work, spending too long on each task, taking work home and setting excessively high standards.”
As Lauren Bravo writes in the same piece, “As promising students we were told ‘aim high! Join in! You can do anything!’ – but nobody thought to mention we could also aim lower, opt out or do exactly what our pay cheque required and no more.”
“The happiest people at work seem to be the ones who don’t care as much,” writes Bravo, “they might just be on to something.”
How do to less and more.
University of California, Berkeley professor and author of Great at Work, says our approach to work is “broken.” He said to Forbes, “We pursue a paradigm of ‘more is better’ — but more hours doesn’t lead to better performance. And it leads to worse work/life balance.’”
From a survey on what really drives performance, Hansen found some secrets behind doing less to create more impact:
Do Fewer Things: Top performers are very selective in what they do and don’t scatter their efforts too much across too many tasks or too many meetings. Hansen says, “It’s counterintuitive. It’s not how much you can get done in a day, but how few things you have to do in order to excel.”
Sarah Knight, author of “The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k,” encourages us to declutter our mind and care less. She also suggests ditching corporate formalities like conference calls, when the time can be used more productively.
Push Back: If you’re asked to stretch yourself across too many things, Hansen suggests pushing for prioritization. “Say: ‘You asked me to do two things last week and now you’re asking for a third. Which should I prioritize? I can do all three, but it won’t be high-quality work.’ You’re not saying ‘I don’t want to do it.’ This requires some courage and tact.” Another tip: Say no to additional responsibilities with low visibility that won’t truly advance you.
“Do Less, Then Obsess”: Hansen suggests to do less tasks, but put attention into doing the things you commit to with excellence. Take time putting the attention into the details and making the work you commit to high quality. Do less, and do it better.
Women have been devalued in the workplace. You can stop devaluing yourself by finding ways to trim away the work that’s draining your energy more than its advancing you towards your own career desires.
Author Bio:
Aimee Hansen is a writer here at theglasshammer.com.
The Importance of Supporting New Parents, Inside and Out of the Office
Guest Contribution, Op-EdResearch conducted by Goldman Sachs found that in 2018, the participation of prime-age women in the US economy was lower in comparison to the workforce participation of this population in 2000, nearly 20 years earlier.
A separate study, titled “Female Labor Supply: Why Is the United States Falling Behind?” that was published in 2013 in the American Economic Review, found similar results, reporting that in 1990, the US had the sixth-highest female labor participation rate among 22 OECD countries. However, by 2010, the US’ ranking on this list fell to 17th.
Goldman Sachs research estimates that if the US were to introduce longer parental leave policies and higher public childcare spending, similar to policies adopted by other advanced economies, female-participation rates in the US could increase by around 4 percentage points.
Companies are therefore focused on their parental leave policies, including Goldman Sachs, which offers primary caregivers 16 weeks leave and non-primary caregivers four weeks leave following the birth or adoption of a child. In addition, the bank provides a variety of other services to employees to support them during this time period.
Here, Goldman Sachs people describe their parental leave experience, working with the firm’s dedicated Wellness team and share their advice for other new parents.
Naomi Leslie: “I Appreciated Being Treated Like Any Other New Mom”
Naomi Leslie, a managing director in the Investment Banking Division, described working closely with the firm’s Wellness team as she prepared for her baby, who was born via gestational carrier. “I appreciated the firm’s parental leave policy because I was treated like any other mother who was carrying a child,” said Leslie. “I took several months to be home with my daughter and bond with her, and felt well supported by the Wellness team in preparation for going on leave.”
Leslie noted that she relied on LifeCare’s consultants, as well as their recommendations for pediatricians and day care centers, in preparation for the arrival of her daughter. In advance of going on leave, she also discussed different approaches with Wellness for keeping in touch with her teams, and ultimately went on to develop coverage guidelines for each client.
She recommends that both women – and men – take the full parental leave offered to them, in order to “set the standard” going forward. “We should begin to treat paternity leave with the same reverence as maternity leave,” Leslie notes.
Jane Moffat: “The Support I Felt Was Unparalleled”
“The support I felt was unparalleled – both from the firm as a whole as well as Wellness, my team, and my internal clients,” said Jane Moffat, a vice president in the Legal Department. Based in the firm’s Washington, DC office, Moffat also described the lengths the firm went to in order to provide her with appropriate accommodations. “We have a wellness room in our office that was converted into a lactation room – as a breastfeeding mom, my needs were prioritized and it could not have been easier for me to return to work.”
As part of her role, Moffat makes overnight trips between Washington, DC and New York, and leveraged the firm’s milk shipping program, offered in partnership with LifeCare, to ship milk home overnight. Moffat said, “The process worked seamlessly each time – Goldman Sachs is truly the best place to work, including for a new mom.”
Vinod Jothiram: “Taking My Parental Leave Helped Me Bond With My Son”
As a soon-to-be new dad, Vinod Jothiram, a vice president in the Securities Division, thought that the firm only offered a few weeks for parental leave. However, as Jothiram planned to be the primary caregiver for his newborn son, he realized he was eligible for Goldman Sachs’ primary care parental leave program, which offers up to 16 weeks. “Taking my parental leave helped me bond with my son over the course of the 12 weeks I was home with him,” said Jothiram.
Jothiram described the process of taking his parental leave as “fairly straightforward,” noting that he had developed a transition plan to bring team members up to speed. He recommends: “If you’re taking a parental leave, think of it like mobility – you should develop a plan, and team members should be ready to pick up different roles upon your return.”
Naomi Lupemba: “Utilize Firm Resources During Your Transition”
“Prior to taking maternity leave, I was a bit concerned about being away from the office for several weeks,” explained Naomi Lupemba, an associate in Compliance. “However, after going through the process, I realized that this concern was completely unfounded – my team was very supportive of my parental leave.”
Lupemba described how she took advantage of the myriad of benefits offered by Goldman Sachs in advance of, during and after returning from maternity leave, including onsite prenatal classes and onsite childcare. “At my lunch break, I go see my son,” said Lupemba, noting that she uses firm-provided childcare at her office. “Being able to see him in the middle of the day removes a source of stress for me as a new mom.”
Elizabeth Reed: “My Managers and My Team Were Extremely Supportive”
“The idea of going on maternity leave was daunting,” said Elizabeth Reed, a managing director in the Investment Banking Division. “However, my maternity leave outperformed my expectations – my managers and my team were extremely supportive.”
Reed described her leave and returning to work as a “holistic recovery process” due to the support provided by the Wellness team, including lactation services and childcare guidance. Commenting on her return to the office, Reed said, “All my colleagues at work who have children have been incredibly helpful – I now have a whole new network to connect with as a sounding board.”
The Role of Corporations
In the absence of a federal paid parental leave policy, it’s more important than ever for private institutions and corporations to provide new parents with the resources they need to successfully take their parental leave, and ultimately return to the workforce.
Goldman Sachs is one example of what a company can do to help employees manage one of the biggest changes in their life, such as introducing a child into their family, successfully.
The Professional Woman’s Guide to a Drama-Free Workplace
Career Advice, Guest ContributionGuest Contribution. The following article is adapted from the book, The Drama-Free Workplace.
Workplace drama comes in many forms, but two of the most common, and two that disproportionately affect professional women, are sexual harassment and bias.
Root Causes of Workplace Drama
The list of root causes is long, but here are four of the most important reasons why bias and sexual harassment exist at work:
Inauthentic leadership: A lack of authenticity creates or perpetuates a belief that management is hypocritical, that they only talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.
Problem-solving deficit: A lack of authenticity leads to inconsistency, usually seen in the form of the failure to implement solutions in an even-handed way.
Increased division: Failure to communicate clearly and transparently creates a sense of “us versus them” which perpetuates the cycle of division and mistrust.
Culture of complicity: An “us versus them” culture becomes permissive and tolerates bad behavior. This leads to blind spots since “we” think “they” are out to get us.
From Unconscious Bias to Radical Fairness
Bias is at the root of many of the issues that become workplace drama.
As the term gains popularity, many now cringe when they hear “unconscious bias” since they imagine training on something touchy-feely. Another way of stating it is that our “hidden” brain heavily influences our decision-making at work (and elsewhere). We won’t solve the issue unless we:
1) acknowledge that we are all influenced by factors outside our conscious minds;
2) that affect our decision-making (sometimes negatively); and
3) that despite this reality, there are ways we can fix the problem.
So, what can we do to take away the power of unconscious bias at work? Here are a few strategies:
Failure to implement realistic solutions to eliminate bias from decision-making at work leads to exclusion. This becomes clear as we look at issues of inclusion and diversity – if biased decision-making isn’t checked, your program to create a diverse workforce where each employee feels as though he or she belongs, is doomed.
The “Cure” for Workplace Sexual Harassment
For female professionals, the presence of sexual harassment at work is as dangerous as the presence of gender bias.
Here are three strategies you should take to eliminate sexual harassment at your organization:
And while these strategies might appear to be geared toward leaders, they apply equally to every employee who has a vested interest in ridding our workplace of bias and harassment– we’re all in this together and it will require each one of us to implement these strategies to succeed. By taking these steps, you will play a vital role in making sure that bias and harassment are a thing of the past at your workplace.
Patti Perez is VP of Workplace Strategy at Emtrain. She is a licensed California attorney, a professionally-certified HR executive, and a specialist in the prevention and resolution of workplace drama. She is a frequent speaker on these topics and is the author of the soon-to-be-published The Drama-Free Workplace (Wiley, April 2019).
This is a guest contribution and does not represent the opinions of theglasshammer.com- all views are of the guest writer.
Voice of Experience: Lisa Hutter, Senior Director of Planning for the Southwest Region, Wells Fargo Private Bank
Voices of Experience“If you are listening solely to respond, you won’t hear everything you should,” she cautions. “Focusing, being present and then taking time to be thoughtful will always lead you to a better answer,” she says.
These skills have been especially pertinent in her career, particularly in her current role where she has a hand in helping both her clients and her internal team.
Helping Clients Achieve the Best
Hutter went right from college to law school but always knew she wanted to focus on estate planning. She joined a major accounting firm for four years, then moved into the banking arena and even had her own law firm for a short time before finding her home in the trust industry. Her first role was as a trust officer focusing on estate planning, and then she joined Wells Fargo as a team leader, where she manages a team of planners who include attorneys, CFPs and accountants who offer a collaborative approach to advising private clients.
Three years ago she was offered her current position as senior director of planning for the southwest region and moved to Austin, Texas, where she has added strategy to her responsibilities. In addition she is closely involved with the firm’s diversity and inclusion efforts, helping to continue education and awareness and has been gratified at the strides they have made in moving the needle.
As she thinks back over her career, one of the accomplishments she’s been proud of is her focus on building teams—focusing not only on supporting one another and promoting trust, but also offering her employees a clear path forward in their career. She has been pleased with the way she has been able to manage a cultural shift in her region, leading to stronger teams who can better serve clients.
And that’s the cornerstone of everything she does, noting how rewarding it is to work with clients and see the positive difference she can nurture in the family unit. In fact, Hutter is excited about advances Wells Fargo is making with a more recent offering in the Private Bank called Family Dynamics.
Statistics show that when families of wealth fail, 70 percent of the time it’s because of a breakdown in communication. In that way, this offering is ideal to help bolster communication for any family contemplating their future.
Another growing trend that is inspiring her work is the “graying” of the business owner; Hutter finds there are many in her region who are nearing retirement age and exploring their options. “The best way to create a smooth transition is to start three to five years out, which also pulls in the family dynamics element,” she notes.
Confidence Will Take You Far
Hutter has always admired Sheryl Sandberg’s advice, particularly the reality that a lot of times we second guess ourselves and think we have to be perfect for a certain role or project before we throw our hat in the ring. “It’s important to realize that job descriptions shouldn’t be read as prescriptive around every single element where if you don’t have a few items on the list you shouldn’t bother applying; instead rely on the right skills you already have to succeed and be confident in yourself, apply for the role and through the course of interviews you and the folks making the hiring decision will determine if you are the right fit for the role. In the end, you might surprise yourself.”
Confidence is vitally important in her industry, when it’s not uncommon to walk into a senior leadership meeting and be outnumbered, sometimes even as the only woman. “You have to get comfortable with leaning forward and making your voice heard,” she says, adding that she has helped her teammates understand this perspective by encouraging them to put themselves in those shoes.
At the same time that you should always strive for new paths, Hutter believes that young women who are entering this industry would be well-served by being patient and taking the time to really master their job. “You can get involved in so many projects and therefore find opportunities to be challenged, even while you sit in your current job and make a name for yourself there,” she points out.
In fact, she finds that a lot of success has to do with getting to know people all over the organization and at all levels and learning more about their day-to-day jobs. “That can help you identify another area where your skills might be transferable but is more interesting to you, and you don’t want to miss out on that by not seeking new opportunities.”
It’s one of the reasons she served in the role of regional leader for the firm’s Women’s Team Network while she has continued to serve in similar roles. She urges all her colleagues to take advantage of the development programs available in person as well as on the internal site—both to boost specific skills as well as to expand networking by meeting others with whom they don’t interact on a day-to-day basis.
“Be Kind To Yourself”
Hutter’s advice for women at her level will resonate with anyone in a fast-paced field. “Be kind to yourself,” she says. “We are not perfect and so we need to believe that what we are doing is enough. Take the time to be present and focus on what matters, like your family, and shut down if you need to because that’s okay.”
She herself takes that advice to heart with her own family. In addition, she has an excellent outlet through regular workouts at her husband’s CrossFit box, appropriately named “Third Element.”
“It’s my community and home away from home, and it helps us model a healthy lifestyle for our kids,” Hutter says. In addition to mitigating stress, achieving a new goal in her workout has another important byproduct—transferring those feelings of success to the workplace.
Should I stay or should I go? Are you thinking of leaving for the right reasons?
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!, FeaturedThere is no simple answer to this, but there are ways to truly explore what is best for you.
I can break these down into three categories:
1. Systemic dysfunction – is there misalignment in the way people and processes meet? Is the culture and how work gets done around here, one of inconsistent management practices with no real support with process and policy to ensure good behaviors happen? Is leadership lacking? Is the mission unclear? Are you able to do your job the way you see fit?
2. You – your mental models, behaviors, reaction and actions.
3. Them – other people and their mental models, behaviors, reactions and actions.
It is only by looking at these factors that you can make an assessment of whether staying or leaving is best. You go with you to the next job so repeating patterns won’t bring you happiness or success if those patterns needs to be broken.
I am now taking up to 15 new coaching clients for Spring/Summer – if you are interested in signing up and working with me for 5 sessions, book in for an exploratory call to see if I can help you over the next 6-9 months so you can develop, grow, succeed and feel renewal at work.
Testimonials from mid to senior level professionals available.
Rising Star: Alex Trevino-McCallum, Vice President of Client Development for Citi Retail Services for the Midsouth and South Atlantic Regions
Rising StarsHer success has come from taking her knowledge about two different industries and meshing them, to the mutual benefit of both.
From Retail to Banking
That philosophy is why Trevino-McCallum excels in her current position at Citi Retail Services, relying on her extensive background with her retail partner, Home Depot. She began her career there as a cashier at the age of 19 and worked her way up through various roles for the next 21 years. Along the way, she built relationships with subject matter experts throughout The Home Depot, including the store credit manager from Citi, which powers The Home Depot credit card. The Citi credit manager confirmed to Alex that joining the Citi team could be a great move for her career path.
While it was a hard decision, given the loyalty she had built up with Home Depot, she also believed she could bring a high level of knowledge to the position, since she knew the culture and people at the store so well. Although she lacked direct banking experience, her knowledge gained as the liaison between Home Depot and Citi made her an ideal candidate. The position required exceptional relationship-building skills and persistence to ensure associates were familiar with the credit options available—both traits where she excelled.
Trevino-McCallum transitioned to Citi Retail Services four years ago, moving from Mississippi to Atlanta, in itself an accomplishment as she was starting fresh with no support system. And that’s the professional achievement she is most proud of so far–having the confidence to pivot her career with this current role. As she becomes a resource rather than the “newbie,” she sees her decision validated every day.
And she appreciates the ongoing challenges of her position, assisting both Citi and Home Depot in navigating changes in the industry, and focusing on helping Citi become even more ingrained in the retail partner culture, then adapting those lessons to other retailers and specialty stores to keep expanding her personal development.
Family as a Barometer of What’s Important
Although Trevino-McCallum spends a great deal of time on the road overseeing 30 to 40 stores, she’s able to be home almost every night, which has been a game-changer for her. While her job is challenging and fast-paced, it enables her to prioritize her core values both at work and at home with her family.
While she has always put her family first, now they are able to sit down to dinner together most nights. “We’ve always made a conscious decision to slow down and enjoy time together, and this role allows us to do that,” she says.
This focus on family came early, with both her parents as important role models. Trevino-McCallum says that her mom is the strongest woman she knows—displaying empathy and compassion combined with grit. “Although she’s been through a lot both personally and professionally, she continues to see the bright side of everything,” she says. And Trevino-McCallum says she learned her ability to balance from her mom, whom she describes as “the queen of juggling.”
Her dad had a professional career that she aspires to, as she always admired his commitment and drive. “He was a great team leader and gained trust and engagement with those who worked around him,” she says. However, she notes that sometimes that came at the expense of family time so she aims to land somewhere in the middle.
Trevino-McCallum constantly works on accelerating her skills, and appreciates the opportunities that Citi offers via a wide variety of functional groups. She has a healthy curiosity in the business, including partner management, which would highlight her experience in building close relationships, as well as interest in operations and marketing, which would utilize her skills in team building and networking. She recently put her hat in to be part of the “SET” team (Store Execution Team), focused on delivering tools and skills to the larger Home Depot Field Support organization promoting efficiency and effectiveness.
To feed her desire for continuous development, Trevino-McCallum pursues individual learning via “Degreed,” a Citi-hosted learning platform, while remaining connected across the organization as a member of the women’s network in Atlanta. A highlight of her participation has been supporting a learning day for Girl Scouts that mirrors the “Shark Tank” model, allowing the girls to experience the corporate world in a creative manner.
In her time off work, Trevino-McCallum loves to read and travel, and although she relishes her time with her family, including those daily dinners, she says she and her husband look forward to an empty nest when they’ll have more time to start a mission of finding nearby hidden beaches.
Voice of Experience: Becky Lindahl, Head of Litigation, Charlotte, N.C.; Katten Muchin Rosenman LLP
Voices of ExperienceOnly through experience did she come to realize that it was unrealistic to expect a young lawyer, fresh out of law school, to deliver solid business prospects. It turns out that some of the steps she was taking were the right ones and they ultimately put her on a path to success: making contacts in-house and keeping in touch with peers at law firms.
Now, Lindahl encourages younger associates to first focus on getting basic core skills, such as writing and reviewing and analyzing documents, down pat. “I see how they want to advise clients right away, and I can sense the frustration when they don’t have the opportunity to immediately sit in the first, or even the second, chair,” she says. “But the only way you learn is through mastering the fundamentals and observing senior attorneys to gain the experience you need. Eventually it all clicks.”
Earning Litigation Credibility
That savvy advice comes from experience and is the foundation for Lindahl’s impressive career rise. After joining Katten as a summer associate in 2005, she became a full-time associate following her graduation from Wake Forest University School of Law and federal clerkship. She was elevated to income partner in August 2014 and became Charlotte’s litigation head in January 2018.
Over the years, she has amassed numerous successes. One of her most notable was the first major case she managed from start to finish as lead counsel in a four-week federal jury trial during the summer of 2017 in Greensboro, N.C., representing a leading manufacturer and innovator in LED lighting technology. Under Lindahl’s leadership, with tens of millions of dollars in damages on the line, she scored a courtroom victory when the jury sided with her client on every issue.
“While the case was obviously high-stakes for the client financially, it also had great reputational risks and industry-wide concerns, so it was incredibly satisfying to lead the team to success,” Lindahl says. She found an affinity for bigger impact litigation and is currently lead counsel in two other similarly high-stakes lawsuits within the industry.
Concerning industry trends, Lindahl is concerned with balancing the risks and rewards of technology-assisted and automated discovery, which is becoming more prevalent in litigation. As she notes, automation of operations and services can lower costs for firms and increase efficiency. However, she also sees potential challenges in relying too much on innovating tools for tasks and processes when diving deep into cases, particularly in cases that may reach a jury. For example, lawyers might spot patterns in emails that emerging technology could miss, such as a meeting place that pops up regularly and corroborates timing of key events. “We have to be smart about managing litigation in a way that’s cost-sensitive and effective, and when you are preparing for a high-stakes trial, there is no substitute for having a comprehensive knowledge of the details of critical documents,” Lindahl says.
Advocates at Home and Work Help Bring Balance
Lindahl brings that same measured vision to her own work/life blend. With little control over your schedule in federal court, the unpredictability can be challenging for trial lawyers who are also trying to manage a family.
An understanding firm culture can help. For example, she says that she trusts her Charlotte associates to appropriately prioritize client needs and works with her associates on a one-on-one basis to provide necessary flexibility to accomplish that goal.
For her, having an understanding spouse is vital, and she encourages women who are starting in the industry to consider the importance of surrounding themselves with compassionate people in their corner. “The job is hard enough as it is, but it would be impossible to sustain without a supportive partner, if you choose to have one,” Lindahl said.
While some women have struggled over having a perfect balance or being able to “do it all,” she appreciates advice she received early in her career from a fellow female attorney at Katten who suggested she be kinder to herself and give herself some grace when things are challenging either at work or home.
Now, Lindahl passes on that same philosophy to younger associates in her current role as the Charlotte co-chair of the firm’s Women’s Leadership Forum. The group offers a national mentoring panel where senior women serve as mentors to younger women, whether for practice- or career-related topics or even personal issues.
For example, before Lindahl and her husband adopted their daughter, they went through years of infertility treatments. She said she appreciated how generous women at the firm were with their advice as she balanced the rigors of the time commitment, and that the firm’s benefits provided insurance coverage for the expensive treatments. When the couple made the decision to adopt a child, Lindahl reached out to another attorney to talk about the adoption process and managing parental leave on the short notice at which adoption sometimes occurs, and now offers her insight to women facing similar scenarios and seeking advice.
Today, she is mom to a 13-month-old daughter.
Lindahl is committed to variety of causes and sits on the board of directors for Safe Alliance, which provides wraparound support services for victims of domestic assault and sexual assault.
As an avid sports fan, she is looking forward to moving her family to Charlotte’s center city, within walking distance of the Spectrum Center, home to the NBA’s Hornets and other entertainment acts.
“There is no perfect balance between work and home, but I have had some success managing my practice and family by simply focusing on the most important task—whether client or family-related—before me at any given time,” Lindahl says.
Why Less Is More: Advice for Female Overachievers Everywhere
Career AdviceBy Aimee Hansen
With the recent International Women’s Day 2019 mantra being #Balanceforbetter, we have proof that giving less of yourself at work could be the best move for you and your career.
Being overly conscientious and accommodating in your work approach – which women are far more likely to be – may diffuse your energy and impact, without helping you advance in the office.
Overcoming the compulsion to overwork is about more than being mentally strategic and discerning with the work you do, though changing behaviors can change beliefs. The hardest part of choosing not to do too much may be riding through the emotional discomfort of not being as overly conscientious as you’re used to.
As girls and women, we’ve come to believe we have to work very hard not even to get ahead, but just to stay safe.
What did we really learn as girls at school?
“What if those same habits that propel girls to the top of their class — their hyper-conscientiousness about schoolwork — also hold them back in the work force?” writes Dr. Lisa Damour in the New York Times.
At school age, girls have the edge on performance and they also work harder, have greater discipline and perform better. Damour finds that girls are more likely to grind away and to leave as little as possible room for error. Anecdotally, it’s observed that boys are more likely to up their game if something slips, while girls are less likely to allow the possibility of slippage, holding the energy of maximum effort.
Damour writes, “We need to ask: What if school is a confidence factory for our sons, but only a competence factory for our daughters?” She asserts that with girls, we need to stop applauding ‘inefficient overwork’ and start rewarding ‘economy of effort’.
Part of this is encouraging girls to acknowledge how much they already know and then where to focus their mastery building, as opposed to only building up capacity for work. The confidence gap and stress gap between genders is only widened when girls and women put disproportionate stock in their ability to work extra hard, as opposed to their innate abilities to deliver good results.
We think we have to work harder (and we do) at work.
A study designed to monitor the impact of privacy filters on productivity at 3M also verified the suspicion that women employees work harder. “During a ten minute experimental trial, female employees worked longer without (2.5 minutes vs 2.1 minutes) or with (4.9 minutes vs 4.3 minutes) a privacy filter. 52 percent of male workers walked away during a waiting period while only 38 present of women did.
Across three decades of studies, professional women in both Britain and the United States are also significantly more likely than male peers to agree to the statement “My job requires that I work very hard.”
“Between a man and a woman who hold the same job, shoulder the same burdens at home and have the same education and skills, the woman is likely to feel she must work harder,“ said co-researcher and sociologist Elizabeth Gorman.
The researchers speculate that “the association between gender and reported required work effort is best interpreted as reflecting stricter performance standards imposed on women, even when women and men hold the same jobs.”
Being too conscientious adds up to emotional exhaustion.
Women tend to experience more stress in the workplace – and a UK survey found up to 67% higher stress levels for women between 34 and 44 compared to men.
Research on organizational citizenship behavior (OCB) explored five types of behavior for impact on individual well-being: “altruism (helping a colleague), conscientiousness (going beyond the minimum), civic virtue (involvement in the organisation), courtesy (avoiding work-related problems with others) and sportsmanship (tolerating inconveniences and impositions of work).”
The research showed that employees who regularly put in hours and effort beyond the call of duty experience more emotional exhaustion and work-family conflict – especially for those who carry out responsibilities at a high level.
The study also found “employees who already performed well in their job and had a high level of conscientiousness also suffered significantly higher emotional exhaustion and work-family conflict. Those who exerted greater effort in their work and family roles, with a general sense of not wanting to let people down, found they had little left in reserve, increasing the challenges of balancing work with a healthy family life.”
Doing well at work, not surprisingly, leads to more work: “Managers are prone to delegate more tasks and responsibilities to conscientious employees who are likely to try to maintain consistently high levels of output.”
If you get hooked to hyper-conscientiousness as your success card, you’ll feel you have to keep it going, even when it grows.
What if we just cared less?
Beyond the external demands, clinical psychologist Dr Jessamy Hibberd, co-author of This Book Will Make You Calm, notes the internal demands that we create for ourselves on top of external demands. “These are the pressures you place on yourself,” Hibberd told The Guardian. “For example, checking and rechecking work, spending too long on each task, taking work home and setting excessively high standards.”
As Lauren Bravo writes in the same piece, “As promising students we were told ‘aim high! Join in! You can do anything!’ – but nobody thought to mention we could also aim lower, opt out or do exactly what our pay cheque required and no more.”
“The happiest people at work seem to be the ones who don’t care as much,” writes Bravo, “they might just be on to something.”
How do to less and more.
University of California, Berkeley professor and author of Great at Work, says our approach to work is “broken.” He said to Forbes, “We pursue a paradigm of ‘more is better’ — but more hours doesn’t lead to better performance. And it leads to worse work/life balance.’”
From a survey on what really drives performance, Hansen found some secrets behind doing less to create more impact:
Do Fewer Things: Top performers are very selective in what they do and don’t scatter their efforts too much across too many tasks or too many meetings. Hansen says, “It’s counterintuitive. It’s not how much you can get done in a day, but how few things you have to do in order to excel.”
Sarah Knight, author of “The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k,” encourages us to declutter our mind and care less. She also suggests ditching corporate formalities like conference calls, when the time can be used more productively.
Push Back: If you’re asked to stretch yourself across too many things, Hansen suggests pushing for prioritization. “Say: ‘You asked me to do two things last week and now you’re asking for a third. Which should I prioritize? I can do all three, but it won’t be high-quality work.’ You’re not saying ‘I don’t want to do it.’ This requires some courage and tact.” Another tip: Say no to additional responsibilities with low visibility that won’t truly advance you.
“Do Less, Then Obsess”: Hansen suggests to do less tasks, but put attention into doing the things you commit to with excellence. Take time putting the attention into the details and making the work you commit to high quality. Do less, and do it better.
Women have been devalued in the workplace. You can stop devaluing yourself by finding ways to trim away the work that’s draining your energy more than its advancing you towards your own career desires.
Author Bio:
Aimee Hansen is a writer here at theglasshammer.com.
Get Profiled on glasshammer2.wpengine.com
NewsOver 12 years we have profiled nearly 1,000 women! We have certainly honored our mission of telling people’s stories and continue to do so…we quite possibly could be the longest running online magazine in existence that has focused on career advice for professional women!
The important work continues, and it starts with you!
If you would like to be considered or have someone to nominate please let us know by emailing nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com.
We do have criteria: Voice of Experience (our Monday column for the past 12 years without fail) is for women in financial or professional services firms or in Fortune 1000 firms who are Managing Director/SVP and above.
To be considered as a Mover and Shaker, Rising Star, Intrepid Women or Men Who Get It, please tell us more about you.
We also have a thematic calendar to tell deeper stories regarding the many identities we all hold. We are welcoming suggestions for these months now:
In addition, we accept guest pieces and op-eds where appropriate.
All of this and the past 12 years have only been possible due to amazing site sponsors, so if your company would like to sponsor the site, we would love to hear from you.
Thank you for reading us.
Remember, we coach individuals, train, and consult on networks and diversity programs as well! Get in touch if you want to hire us.
Cryptocurrency needs women to reach a tipping point
Guest Contribution, Op-Ed“How can I start a career in crypto when I know nothing about it?” A bright-eyed student asked bravely but timidly.
I’d just completed a talk about my career journey that led me into the wild and wonderful world of crypto and blockchain to a group of about 80 Wharton business school students.
She emphasized “nothing” in her question and I knew exactly the sentiment behind the question – self-doubt. It’s all too familiar in my regular interactions with people on the outside looking into a still nascent but burgeoning industry, especially with women.
Very smart women say things like this to me all the time when I prompt them to get involved after they express interest in the space:
“I don’t get it.”
“I don’t have a finance background.”
“It’s SO confusing and complex.”
Like so many finance fields before – investment banking, hedge funds and trading – women are bowing out of opportunities in crypto, sidelining themselves from career-defining opportunities and major financial upside, all because of intimidation.
While the number of women in blockchain and crypto is growing, women are seriously underrepresented on teams and in executive roles. A December 2018 report detailed women comprise 14 percent of blockchain startup teams and 7 percent of executive roles. In contrast, women typically represent 25 percent of the workforce in otherwise notoriously male-dominated Silicon Valley big tech companies.
The industry needs women and greater diversity to reach the tipping point on the adoption curve. Team diversity is key to the success of any business in any sector.
Here’s my best advice to that Wharton student based on my experience.
Quiet the Gremlin
That little gremlin had a big voice in my head: “Don’t do it! You’ll fail!” It was August 2013 when I reconnected with Chris Larsen. I first worked with Chris when he was CEO of Prosper, the online person-to-person lending marketplace, supporting Prosper’s public relations efforts. I shared Chris’s passion to fight for “the little guy” – to give the financially underserved greater, fairer access and freedom.
In that August meeting, Chris shared his vision to use the innovations in blockchain and crypto to enable the world to move value like it already moves information, creating an “Internet of Value.” He was electric, saying he thought this was fintech’s most important breakthrough. Following our meeting, Chris offered me a position at his new company leading communications.
I was excited… and intimidated. I didn’t understand the details of what Chris described. Market making, consensus algorithms, settlement processes – it was all foreign to me. With this role, I’d assume responsibility to communicate this business to the world. Yikes.
I took the leap. I believed in Chris and he believed in me. The worst that would happen is I’d try and fail, learn and move on. The reward far outweighed the risk.
Step one is to get out of your own way and quiet the gremlin. Know you can learn it.
Find Your Passion Project
A major reason this space is so confusing and complex is many projects are purely tech-driven. They’re untethered from a use case.
Blockchain and crypto suddenly become more sensible, approachable and viable when a project clearly defines the problem it’s solving.
In the case of Ripple, we’re removing friction from global payments – making them faster, cheaper, more reliable. Hundreds of millions of people work abroad and send money home to their friends and family. Getting as much of their paychecks home as quickly and reliably as possible is critical to their ability to support their families. Ours is a mission I care about deeply.
Make Contact
While you can learn a lot about this space crawling press articles, forums and social media, misinformation and noise abounds, which may hurt more than help. I learned the most by talking to people I knew and trusted in the space and unabashedly asking question after question. The adage “there is no stupid question” is certainly true ramping up in this industry!
If you don’t have friends or professional contacts in the industry, do a little research to identify a few people you’d like to connect with based on common interests in projects or use cases. You may be pleasantly surprised by the willingness of strangers to help you out – it’s a supportive community.
Men led the Internet Age; they reaped the glory and the gains. Blockchain and crypto represent the dawn of the next big Internet revolution. We women have the chance to lead. Let’s not miss our chance to break the cycle of underrepresentation in tech.
Author Bio:
Monica Long, SVP Marketing and Communications at Ripple
Monica Long is SVP of Marketing and Communications at Ripple. Ripple is removing friction from global payments, connecting banks and payment providers to provide one frictionless experience – that is faster, cheaper, and more reliable – for sending and receiving money globally.
Throughout her career, Monica has helped technology companies drive fundamental change in the financial industry. At Ripple, Monica has built a team responsible for Ripple’s go-to-market strategy, lead generation, corporate communications and branding. Together, they tackle the challenge of ensuring all audiences – from the cryptocurrency community to financial institutions to regulators – understand the transformative potential of the growing blockchain industry.
Voice of Experience: Diane Ramirez, Chairman and CEO of Halstead
Voices of ExperienceAs chairman and CEO of real estate firm Halstead, she knows that it takes an entrepreneurial bent to be successful in the business. “You’re not going to sit back and have someone guide you—you have to own who you are going to be, and it can be easy to forget that,” she says. But those who understand the business side of real estate will find themselves successful.
The Ideal Time for Each Step of Her Career
Ramirez came to this success via a path and timeline different from most women. While she started her career in marketing and advertising, she had two children quickly, and her focus turned to being a wife and mom for her young family. As she notes, most women tend to delay a family, which means they are often at the pinnacle of their careers and have to downshift, but hers was the opposite.
That’s because it wasn’t long until Ramirez realized she wanted and needed the passion that a career provided, and she found she was attracted to the entrepreneurial pace of real estate.
When her kids were in elementary school, she started as an agent, and as they got older and needed less hands-on attention, she was able to devote increasingly more time to building her career, eventually opening her own firm.
She started with a vision of three offices, and since then it has continued to grow to 36 offices in three states and more than 1,400 agents. But while the growth has been extraordinary, the professional achievement Ramirez is most proud of is that they are known for their culture, which while not easy to maintain throughout the growth, has been crucial to their success.
A Place To Belong
The firm underwent a rebranding last year, and she has been delighted to see that both her customer base, and, more importantly, the agents, have embraced it. One of their signature perks is access to a tailor who helps them procure a high-quality professional, yet affordable, wardrobe. The company included the new logo as the lining in the overcoats it designed and Ramirez has been happy to see that the agents are so proud of it that they’ll give a peek to a fellow agent, much like a secret handshake. The rebranding also included regional colors, which have also been well-received—in fact, she said that it has been gratifying to see each region’s agents believe they have the best colors.
Another important upgrade they’ve completed recently is a substantial technology initiative that has made it easier for agents to be more productive and keep up with advances that are important to their clients.
Ramirez finds real estate to be a fantastic field for women because of the flexibility it offers, but she also underscores that they need to realize that it can also be a 24/7 business, which is why it’s crucial to have support at home.
As she sees more women enter the industry, she encourages them to embrace fellow colleagues and be willing to share knowledge, with men and women alike. “The more we share, the more it will come back to you,” Ramirez says, adding that it’s important to remember that you’re not necessarily competing against each other for the same property, but rather competing to succeed in the business.
She finds that women frequently say they are excited to work for a woman. “It makes me really proud that they are looking for the support of someone who’s been there,” Ramirez says. And, she adds, not by design as her only goal was to seek the best talent, but her executive staff is half women and half men.
Family has always been important to Ramirez, and she makes certain that whatever part of her day she’s in, she is 100 percent present. “They know they can call me if they need something, but work is work, and then family time is family time,” she says. “That has always served me well because you can’t be both places at once or both will suffer. You have to find the ‘soft barrier’ between the two to make sure that everyone is taken care of at the right time.”
An avid traveler, she goes on trips with her family as much as she can and just took her children and grandchildren ages 11 to 21 on a safari that she says was “pure magic.” And while that was a marquee adventure, she makes the time to do frequent relaxing vacations so they can spend ample quality time together.