When it comes to developing a more confident mindset, much of the self-help industry centers on positive thinking. But the truth is, the bigger mindset leaps come not by piling on positivity, but by cutting down the noise of habitual negativity.
Less negative or pessimistic thinking is a stronger predictor of physical health than increasing optimism and has more ripple impacts on your life.
How Habitual Negative Thinking Undermines Growth
Habitual negative thinking—such as self-criticism, chronic complaining, or imagining worst-case scenarios—clutters your mind, clouds your energy, and drains your life-force. To be clear, we are not talking about the discernment of saying something is not okay, authentic anger in the face of injustice, or negative emotions that guide you to value-based action.
Rather, most habitual negative thinking, like thoughts in general, are unconscious and repetitive. The negativity-biased hard-wiring of the brain keeps you stuck in survival and victimhood. Until you cut down on negative clutter, the positive growth you try to build on top struggles to take root.
Habitual negative thinking distorts your perception of reality, robs your motivation, erodes your self-trust, and drowns out inspiration. In essence, trying to grow confidence in a mind overrun with fear is like planting flowers in a weed-filled garden.
The Impact of the Five C’s and How to Clear Your Mindset
According to change management expert and author, Price Pritchett, “If we want to increase our belief in the self, one of the things we can do is start removing pessimism and negative thinking.”
Pritchett points to five C’s which comprise the majority of negative thought loops: complaining, criticizing, concern, commiserating and catastrophizing.
Disrupt the loops by identifying and challenging them.
1) Complaining focuses on problems and shortcomings rather than solutions or positive aspects. If where attention goes, energy flows, then complaining keeps you problem-focused.
Complaining or venting can feel rewarding as it provides validation and a temporary outlet for stress. But it also shrinks the hippocampus, oils your neural pathways for negativity, and shapes what you pay attention to.
Chronic complaining feeds a victim identity where you feel powerless. It keeps you mired in problems instead of seeing possibilities. To counter the habitual negative impact of complaining, ask where your power lies.
What is in your control? Can you practice acceptance and see from another perspective? Can you become solutions-focused and action-oriented? Are you shying away from an uncomfortable conversation? What is one small change you can make to improve the situation?
- Complaint Mindset: “I’m getting dumped on at work, and it’s not fair. Why me, again?”
- Solution Mindset: “I am going to have a conversation with my boss about my workload and express my boundaries.” or “I am going to drop the office housework and focus on my priorities.”
2) Criticizing focuses on finding fault with yourself or others, often in a harsh or judgmental way.
Being oriented towards poking holes is an imbalance. Because when you are applying your creative energies, you usually have less space and time for criticizing. Unused creativity can give rise to resentment and criticism.
A healthy critical eye becomes a catalyst for more creativity and more possibilities. With constructive feedback, the intention is to identify how to improve, rather than tear down. Mistakes become learning, refining, and a launchpad for growth – not failures.
Whether self-critical dialogue or criticism of others, you must be willing to break through criticism and turn towards creativity again. This is what opens a space for novel thoughts and energy to come through.
Criticism Mindset: “I’m not qualified for this job. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Compassion Mindset: “Nobody who dares to leap ever knows what they are doing.” or “What if not knowing how it’s supposed to be done is my creative license to carve the path?”
3) Concern steeps you in excessive worry or anxiety about potential problems, often without a clear sense of what to do about them. Amidst a foreboding issue, you feel small and helpless. While concern seems helpful, it can fuel anxiety and feeling stuck.
Like empathy, concern is often a reflection of what you value and care about, which can guide compassionate action and catalyze change. But the concern that Pritchett calls “garden variety worry” – concern about inflation or the state of world affairs or AI in the workplace – often leaves you overwhelmed or despondent, feeling powerless.
Worrying makes it feel like you are doing something, but it removes you from the present. Rather than be with uncertainty, you ruminate to escape it and grasp for a sense of control. When you worry, you try to micro-manage the future while envisioning what you don’t want into it.
Unless you can address your concern through positive thoughts, energy, or action, then it honestly helps nobody and nothing. It feeds the energy of fear and keeps you caught in a spiral. Instead, find where you power does reside.
Perhaps bring in a perceptual reframe, such as deeper trust in the bigger picture. Or take grounded responsibility and calm, present-moment action – no matter how small.
Concern Mindset: “All of these policy changes are worrying, and I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Grounded, Present Mindset: “I am going to embody the change I wish to see in the world.” or “Day by day, I am going to contribute to the calm and inclusive environment I wish to encourage by being a welcoming and friendly presence.”
4) Commiserating, or co-rumination, is connecting with others through focusing on shared problems and suffering, which can lead to becoming entrenched in negative emotions.
While it may feel liberating, therapeutic, and bonding at first, those long gripe sessions deplete health and mental strength. When social connection hinges upon rehashing complaints, you quickly fall into reinforcing each other’s victimhood. You bring a heavy focus to what you don’t want, without freeing the energy towards what you do.
Unless you move towards making a constructive change, you’ll be swimming in an energetic pool that gets dirtier as long as everyone only kicks up the mud. Instead, you can practice compassionate listening, empathizing, and empowering.
Commiseration Mindset: “Yes, everything is awful, and it’s not fair, and nobody cares.”
Empathetic, Empowering Mindset: “Yes, this is a big change, and challenging. How can we find opportunity within it?” or “This is hard. We may need to time to take it in. Maybe we can find alternative, creative ways to support our cause?”
5) Catastrophizing involves exaggerating potential problems until they are insurmountable and become worst-case scenarios, which obviously creates stress and anxiety.
With catastrophizing, fear inverts the creative power of imagination towards envisioning disaster scenarios and how they will play out. Often, these scenarios involve your worst fears coming true. You inflate the problem to such a degree you are caught in fight-or-flight and feel powerless.
Keep catastrophizing from running wild with a probability check. Does it usually go as badly as you imagine? Has life disproved you before? Even when something did not go how you wanted, did everything end up alright or even work out for you?
Catastrophe Mindset: “I made a mistake, and I’m going to be fired, and I’ll end up on the streets, broke and alone.”
Grounded, Logical Mindset: “What is the most likely outcome of my mistake? Even if it goes wrong, can I handle it?” or “I’ve made mistakes before, and I have not been fired for them.” or “Will this matter in five years?”
The Ripple Effect of Clearing the Mental Clutter
Cutting down negative thinking doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. It means becoming aware of unhelpful thought patterns and replacing them with more constructive, balanced ones which support your growth.
Rewiring your brain away from self-sabotaging patterns requires practice and discipline. Awareness is the first step. If you can identify and shift these five loops of habitual negative thinking, you will not only feel better, but you will also liberate mental space, clear your energy, and be more effective and creative as a leader.
By Aimee Hansen
OP-Ed: International Women’s Day 2022: Burnout, Sustainability and What Matters?
Career Advice, International Womens Day, NewsAs we enter year three of the global pandemic, with so many of us doing extreme amounts of work, and some of us also still balancing childcare with covid related closures of daycares and schools, isn’t it time to ask ourselves how can professional women and men (and especially anyone who has second and third shifts with kids and aging parents) do balance and self-care, better? What matters? And what role do firms have in creating the workplace of the future that we are ready to be in, now? This International Women’s Day, the manifesto should be to take a day off. Tomorrow the work will still be there!
Overwork and Burnout
There is work and then there is overwork. Chances are if you are reading this article, you have spent at least some of your career in the overwork zone. You probably work in financial, legal or professional services, in technology firms, big pharma, manufacturing, media or Fortune 500. You are probably a go-getter, highly ambitious and very successful. You probably have engaged some of the usual methods and possess some of the characteristics often needed to get to the top, including old fashioned hard and long work, a competitive nature, cognitive smarts, higher than average EQ to read the room, and a belief that improvement is always possible. Possibly three generations of professional women are reading this article with similar, yet evolving, culturally programmed definitions of success regarding wealth, status and career ladder climb concepts.
Is the extreme achievement mindset in sync with your life goals, your health and mental wellness? Is overachievement about meeting other people’s standards or earning your worth?
Dr. Devon Price, like many of us, came to his senses regarding extreme productivity after a health emergency. He insists that we should stop valuing ourselves in terms of our productivity at work. In the book, Laziness Does Not Exist, he affirms that ‘we don’t have to earn our right to exist’ with overwork and endless achievement.
Advice includes to listen to your body and to forget grinding away all the time to meet arbitrary standards. By reframing what being ‘lazy’ means, versus the allure of validation through achievement, a healthier, happier you can emerge.
“Laziness is usually a warning sign from our bodies and our mind that we need a break.”
In an interview with NPR, he discusses why we rationalize working so hard, and how asking for help, and helping others to helps us, prevents tiredness from overwork but also facilitates us to be better , due to feeling less exhausted as “our brains take micro-naps either way.”
It isn’t just you.
In several recent studies, isolated overwork came up as the most demotivating factor and biggest reason people are quitting jobs. This isn’t new news. Back in 2017, Inc magazine reported on employees quitting when leaders overwork people, show zero empathy and don’t respect time when people are out of the office living their lives, but it is further accentuated by the pandemic. Microsoft conducted an employee indexing survey of 30,000 that resulted in a study called “The Next Great Disruption is Hybrid Work – Are we Ready?”
By looking at trends including desire for flexible work and hybrid structures, the study reiterated what their CEO Satya Nadella called the hybrid work paradox. This study reveals that while people want more flexibility and remote options, they also seek deep human social connection. The same study reveals that high productivity is masking employee exhaustion and overwork. It states measurable uptick over the course of the year – February 2020 to February 2021 – on volume of emails sent, 66% increase on people working on documents, and meeting usage on teams increased in volume and time on meeting applications.
Uncovering your own Competing Agendas
Isn’t it time you figured out what you want for you? Start with your values. Take a look at what matters to you on this worksheet – literally, pick ten words that mean the most and then rank them 1-10, with one being what you value most. Are your actions matching your values? Are you living a humdrum existence while your top value is adventure? Are you spending fourteen hours a day at work when your top value is family? Now is a great to re-evaluate what matters to you. Be yourself, everyone else is taken as the adage goes.
If you had trouble thinking about how all of this meets reality, or deciding what your values are , or felt conflicted, that is part of the journey too. Hyper achievement and superhuman productivity are sometimes part of deep developmental gremlins that have made their way into our heads over time, so we can’t see any other way to be, making them our base operating system with everything else being an app on top. Kegan and Lahey, Developmental psychologists at Harvard, really have a superb method in their book, Immunity to Change, to help you figure out what your unconscious mind is doing to you while you happily goal set in your conscious mind all day long regarding work, fitness and home life. We are all a product of whatever beliefs and paradigms that we have accumulated throughout our life and if your granny/dad/mother/friend told you words to live by, chances are you are doing just that, implicitly following some guidelines without even knowing.
What are your saboteurs? There is another easy way to find out what is going on inside your own head by taking this short quiz on “How we self-sabotage” by Positive Intelligence. It is key to understand what is going on with yourself and what your self-talk is likely to be telling you. Let’s start with the gremlins. If you have something like hyperachievement as your top saboteur, then it is likely you will justify the overworking with sentences like ‘I must be effective and efficient, and ’emotions get in the way of performance.’ Or if you have a high control saboteur, you might be telling yourself things like, ‘well if I don’t do it, who will?’ Or, that people need people like you to get the job done. Show yourself some compassion and a great book to understand how to even begin to approach such a daunting task is Radical Compassion by Tara Brach. It is normal to feel your feelings and that includes joy.
In short, honor yourself on International Women’s Day by taking stock of what matters to you now, and how closely your own life feels aligned to that.
We are starting a Spring coaching cohort in May for sustainable success in 2022. Cost is $3,999 per person and includes a yearlong program with 6 sessions of executive coaching, peer coaching and career development training. Limited spots, contact nicki@theglasshammer.com and write spring coaching cohort in the title of the email.
By Nicki Gilmour, Founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com
Nicki founded theglasshammer in 2007 to inspire, inform and empower professional women in their careers. We have been the leading and longest running career advice online and in person media company in the USA for professional women in financial services.
Attachment Styles: What Are They, and Why Do They Matter in the Workplace?
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!Maria is frustrated with her new employee, Kai. While Kai is talented and personable, he often avoids direct communication, is slow to respond to emails or messages, and seems uncomfortable with feedback or accountability. He tends to shut down when conversations become even mildly confrontational and frequently deflects responsibility by making excuses for missed deadlines. Although he’s likable, he keeps a noticeable emotional distance from the team and avoids collaborative tasks when possible. Maria wishes he would be more like her other report, Jayden, who is consistently dependable and proactive. She finds herself wondering: why people are, well, the way they are? And more importantly, is there anything she can do as a manager that would lead to Kai feeling more connected and improve his work habits?
Though many factors can contribute to a person’s actions, a psychological framework called attachment theory may help to explain the bigger picture. The idea is that every person forms an attachment style in early childhood, and what that style is can affect their outlook and behaviors forever. Our relationship dynamics begin the moment we are born. And the way we form attachments to our earliest caregivers can affect our relationships into adulthood; they make up what I call our “relationship operating model.”
What does attachment look like for young children? Consider Mary Ainsworth’s “strange situation test.” For this study, a mother leaves her child with a stranger in a toy-filled room. Securely attached children initially show distress, but resume playing happily when their mother returns. Anxiously attached children initially welcome their mother’s return, then become uncertain, alternating between seeking closeness to her and playing with toys. Avoidantly attached children either continue playing as if nothing happened or actively avoid their mother upon her return.
But how does this affect the workplace? Well, the secure, anxious, and avoidantly attached behaviors demonstrated in this study can be traced directly to our adult, professional lives. An employee’s attachment style affects not only our relationships with coworkers, but also influences our ability to successfully complete tasks.
Ainsworth’s study demonstrates the importance of a “secure base.” She found that when the securely attached child’s mother was present, the child could confidently explore their strange environment. Having a secure base allows us to take well-considered risks and be creative, knowing we can rely on that foundation to support and guide us as we explore new and innovative ideas. In the workplace, if you have a secure relationship with your business partner or colleague, you are more likely to innovate than if you have an anxious or avoidant relationship with them. This phenomenon has been called the “dependency paradox.” When you feel you can depend on others, you are more likely to act independently. Furthermore, secure attachments with others in the workplace often result in greater creative longevity. Secure relationships can be an antidote to burnout.
On the other hand, if you feel like you can’t depend on your colleagues, you might avoid communicating with them or even interacting with them. This avoidance may result in difficulties getting buy-in or assistance when needed.
Researchers link attachment style to how we communicate with others. Those with an anxious attachment style tend to over-communicate. They feel the need to constantly check in, are hyper-aware of others’ emotions, and tend to think others view them negatively. Anxious employees are also extremely sensitive to the feedback they receive, and they strongly desire affirmation.
On the other hand, those who fall more under the avoidant category tend to under-communicate. They don’t ask for help when they need it, don’t consult with others prior to making major decisions, and don’t regularly inquire about how others are doing. They are less likely to trust others, including their leaders.
Both anxious and avoidant leaders tend to have more difficulties with delegating work than securely attached leaders. Those with an anxious attachment style are often ineffective at delegating because they fear that relinquishing control could lead to disapproval, make them seem less valuable, or even jeopardize the relationship—fears rooted in a deep need for reassurance and connection. In contrast, those with an avoidant attachment style are often unable to delegate because they struggle with trusting others.
But there is hope! One interesting study found that when the participants were prompted to recall a secure relationship, they were less likely to disengage their sense of morality when they encountered an ethically challenging situation. If simply recalling a secure relationship can have such a profound impact on behavior, consider the potential impact of working to adapt your relationship operating model.
Both anxious and avoidant leaders affect the workplace by making it feel less stable, secure, and safe for their employees and their business partners. But research has found that the inverse is true—a leader’s consistent support helps employees feel more secure. Secure leaders are much more likely to support the development of their employees and encourage more positive work behaviors within the company.
Remember: an avoidant or anxious attachment style is not a “sentence” to a challenged life. If you are self-aware and can actively work to heal the attachment ruptures from childhood, it’s possible to create a new outlook on life. Positive relationships characterized by secure attachments later in life can lead to positive outcomes, where we heal and can become better versions of ourselves. Your attachment style can have a direct effect on your employees’ and business partners’ perceptions of how consistently you will be there for them. They want to know they can depend on you.
By: Dr. Karen Bridbord is a licensed psychologist and organizational psychology expert who merges psychological insights with lessons learned from more than two decades of leadership consulting. Her book, The Relationship-Driven Leader: Strengthening Connections to Enhance Productivity and Wellness at Work (April 8, 2025) reveals how strong workplace relationships can enhancing organizational excellence and employee well-being. She lives in New York.
(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).
Christine McIntyre: Chief Financial Officer, Raftelis
People, Voices of ExperienceMcIntyre shares how pivotal choices, purpose-driven work, and a commitment to self-awareness shaped her path to CFO. Through coaching and experience, she’s learned that great leadership starts with knowing yourself and knowing how to assemble the right mix of talent and tools to be effective.
From Investment Banker to CFO
“It’s been a winding road, one I never could have predicted,” McIntyre says of her path to CFO. A psychology major, she started out in Bank of America’s Executive Compensation group, but a well-timed connection soon pulled her into investment banking. This launched her 15-year career in public finance, where her clients were state and local governments.
Despite the excitement and pace of investment banking, something was missing. “Public finance never really captured me. It felt like the same type of deal over and over again,” she reflects. That growing disconnect led her to take a bold step: leaving investment banking to become Director of Finance at a water utility in Alexandria, Virginia. “At the time, I saw it as a step to eventually get away from the public sector work,” she says. “But instead, I fell in love with it.”
Working closely with the city she lived in, McIntyre found deep satisfaction in seeing the direct impact of her work, like financing a massive environmental project in historic Alexandria. When the utility’s CFO departed, McIntyre stepped up, eventually earning the role officially. “It was my first time as CFO and my first time on an executive leadership team — it was a tremendous experience.”
A desire to be closer to family during the pandemic brought her back to North Carolina, and after months of commuting, McIntyre landed what she knew instantly was the right next step. Now as CFO at Raftelis, she has found the perfect intersection of private-sector leadership and public-sector impact. “It’s the same client base I worked with in investment banking – cities, counties, utilities – but now I get to blend strategic leadership with direct project work, which keeps me grounded in what our clients really need.”
Natural Instincts, Sharpened with Coaching
McIntyre describes herself as a driven, energetic leader, someone who moves fast, gets things done, and brings enthusiasm to every challenge. “In some ways, leadership comes naturally to me. I’m a very hard-driving, direct person,” she says. “That kind of energy has been appreciated by my employers.”
However, she is also quick to acknowledge that leadership is not just about instinct, but rather it is a craft she has worked to refine over time. “There is a lot about leadership I had to learn,” she admits. “I’ve worked with several executive coaches throughout my career, and each one has helped me grow in different ways.”
One pivotal experience came during her time at the Alexandria utility, where the organization was preparing for a major CEO transition. A leadership coach was brought in to support the executive team, and the timing could not have been better.
“The coaching relationship was incredibly helpful. It taught me how to use my strengths, but also how to soften my edges,” she reflects. “Particularly in the public sector, I had to learn to slow down and take everyone else on the journey.”
She continues, “I’m a big proponent of coaching. Everyone has blind spots. It’s not about changing who you are, it’s about understanding your tendencies and adjusting to the context you’re working in.”
Leading Beyond Your Expertise
McIntyre sees strong leadership not as a matter of having every skill, but of understanding where you need support and how to get it. “Now that I’m further along in my career, I don’t feel the same pressure to know everything, I’ve learned to take that weight off my shoulders.”
McIntyre applies that mindset to building teams and networks. “I’m not a traditional CFO in the sense that I don’t have an accounting background. When tough accounting questions come up, I don’t pretend to know it all. I focus on finding the right resources.” In one instance, recognizing a gap in deep expertise of government accounting, she sourced a specialist through a consulting firm. “Having someone I could call made all the difference.”
Rather than defaulting to solving everything internally, McIntyre believes smart outsourcing is often the more strategic and cost-effective choice.
“Our water utility was small, so we outsourced a lot, and it was hugely beneficial. Some companies think it’s cheaper or more efficient to handle everything internally, but that’s not always the case. There are highly specialized tasks where it makes more sense to pay a consultant for 100 hours of work than to hire a full-time employee. I’ve brought that same approach to my role as CFO of Raftelis.”
McIntyre advocates for creating a roster of experts through intentional networking, actively seeking out specialists who can offer support when needed.
“If we use a certain software, I’ll seek out someone in my industry who uses it too. Those connections are gold because we can help each other in ways no one else can.”
Whether it’s tapping into external networks, attending user conferences to meet industry peers, or outsourcing specialized work, McIntyre sees her role as assembling the right mix of talent and tools. “I see myself as a resource manager and that’s a big part of what makes me effective in my role.”
Advice for Navigating Your Career
When offering advice to those a few years into their careers, McIntyre stresses the importance of not getting so caught up in the daily grind that you lose sight of the bigger picture. “It’s important to remember that your career and your job are two different things. Whether you are happy in your current job or not, you always want to think about your broader career trajectory outside of the present position,” she explains.
Building and maintaining connections, she notes, is essential for staying aware of opportunities.
“Keep up with LinkedIn and go to networking events. Don’t get so heads-down focused on being successful in your current job that you don’t also build connections outside in industry groups and peer groups.”
McIntyre also encourages professionals to remain open to unexpected opportunities rather than adhering to a rigid career path.
“There are many times where you can make lateral moves or jump to a different sector and surprise yourself,” she says. “Earlier in my career, I was too narrow in my thinking about what I was capable of, when in reality, I could do so much more than I gave myself credit for.”
Where Purpose Meets Impact
McIntyre draws inspiration from the mission-driven people she’s worked with, especially the bold, principled women in public service. “They could be doing anything with their talents, but they choose local government because they care about their community,” she says.
That sense of purpose fuels her work. From financing capital projects to leading infrastructure initiatives, she’s energized by the tangible impact. “When it’s actually happening in your community, especially a big, transformative project with environmental benefits, it’s even more exciting.”
Now, as CFO of Raftelis, McIntyre continues to see that connection firsthand. Whether it’s Baltimore, Philadelphia, or a smaller municipality, the projects Raftelis supports – often centered on clean water, infrastructure, and long-term planning – tie directly to community well-being. “We help communities figure out how to pay for it all and keep their bills affordable enough that their customers can manage them.”
That sense of purpose extends beyond work. To sustain the energy she brings to her role, McIntyre prioritizes self-care and mental clarity. “I bring a lot of enthusiasm and energy to what I do, and I can’t really turn it off,” she says. “But I know that if I keep it up all the time, I’ll burn out.” A longtime hot yoga devotee, she carves out time each week for practice and once a year, she attends a retreat, often unplugging for days at a time. “After about two days without screens your thinking hits a different level,” she says. “It gives me a broader perspective on my life without all the little distractions.”
By Jessica Robaire
Jennifer Marsland: Head of Sales, North America, World Travel Protection
People, Voices of ExperienceA Passion for Sales in Travel Risk Management
For nearly two decades, Marsland has thrived in the travel industry, energized and excited to drive sales in a space she is personally passionate about.
“Once you’re in the travel industry, you never want to leave,” says Marsland. “I talk to friends who’ve been in travel for years, and we all say the same thing: What else would we do? I love that this job takes you all over the world and lets you connect with people about where they’re going and what they’re experiencing.”
Now as Head of Sales for World Travel Protection, Marsland is thrilled to take that passion to the next level by being involved in an area of the industry that makes a tangible difference in people’s lives.
“I’ve always been in sales. My first real job was in a shoe store, so I feel like I’ve always sold something. But here, we’re not just selling, we’re saving lives. We’re helping business travelers travel safer and get the care they need.”
World Travel Protection specializes in helping business travelers navigate risks, from securing accommodations in safe areas to managing major crises like medical emergencies, political unrest, or natural disasters. Marsland’s belief in the company’s mission is deeply personal. She recalls the moment she landed in Paris in 2015, just as terror attacks unfolded, leaving the city in lockdown. “It was pretty scary with flights canceled, uncertainty everywhere. How do you navigate that?” That experience solidified her understanding of the real need for travel risk management.
Returning to the travel industry after a brief pivot during the pandemic, Marsland is energized by the chance to build something new as the Head of Sales for North America. “They were looking for someone to develop their North American sales team and drive growth. Now more than ever, people need what we do.”
Keys to Success: Positivity and Adaptability
A strong belief in positivity has been a guiding force throughout Marsland’s career. “One of my core leadership values is positivity. I truly believe things happen for a reason, and that even when difficulties arise, it will all work out in the end.”
Beyond optimism, Marsland credits adaptability as essential. Having worked at a company where she reported to 17 different managers in 15 years, she learned to navigate constant change. “Whether it’s a reorg, a job change, a new manager, stick it out, things will shift. If a move wasn’t right, it will course-correct. You’ll get a different manager, or land in the right role. It’s about being open to change.”
Marsland’s own adaptability was tested during COVID-19, when the travel industry ground to a halt. Instead of waiting for things to return to normal, she pivoted to a Silicon Valley startup specializing in identity verification technology. The shift forced her to stretch beyond her usual expertise and reinforced an important lesson: “You also have to be willing to take risks. No one is going to tap you on the shoulder and promote you. You have to apply, ask, put yourself out there.”
Learning from the Best
Marsland’s tenacity stems from an early mentor: her mother. A successful artist and master negotiator, her mother taught her the value of asking for what she wanted. “She negotiated all her own contracts. She passed away ten years ago, but we’re still getting royalties because her contracts were so strong.”
As a self-described shy child, Marsland credits her mother for pushing her outside her comfort zone, whether encouraging her to take a job selling shoes in college or urging her to seize new opportunities.
“She really influenced how I approached my career — whether it was landing a job, excelling in a role, or advocating for myself. I often think back to how she never hesitated to ask for what she wanted or go after opportunities.”
Listening and Letting Go
Among the most important skills Marsland’s honed as a leader is the ability to listen. “I always remind myself to listen to understand, not to respond.”
In sales, this lesson is particularly relevant. Too often, she notes, salespeople focus on delivering information rather than asking the right questions and truly hearing the customer’s needs.
Another key insight she highlights is letting go of the need to dictate how things get done, particularly as leadership requires a shift from being an individual contributor to keeping the larger picture in mind. “I’ve been in sales. I know how I would do it. But I’ve learned that different people have different styles — and that’s a good thing.”
She recalls a former manager who exclusively hired people with identical approaches. “You end up with a team that lacks diversity in thinking. I don’t think that’s great for business.”
In building the team at World Travel Protection, Marsland is intentional in looking for diverse viewpoints and approaches. “I want different perspectives, different strengths. One person might be great at presentations; another might excel in negotiations. As long as the job gets done, I don’t need everyone to work the same way.”
Mentorship and Women in Leadership
Committed to supporting the next generation of female leaders, Marsland mentors through GBTA’s (Global Business Travel Association) WINiT program. She helps mentees explore what they want to do next in their career, touching on such issues as how to showcase leadership skills or build out a better resume.
“I impart experiences that I’ve been through and what’s worked for me, encouraging them to talk to other women within the industry that they admire and learn from them.”
Interestingly, Marsland’s own mentors have primarily been men. “I’ve worked in male-dominated industries, so that’s just how it worked out. But now, at World Travel Protection, I’m surrounded by strong female leaders. My boss’s entire leadership team is women. Even at our parent company, Zurich Insurance Group, more than half of the executive leadership team is women. It’s refreshing to be in an environment where female leadership is the norm.”
Building for the Future
At this stage in her career, Marsland finds the greatest satisfaction in building, whether it’s teams, strategies, or relationships. “You don’t always get the chance to leave your mark, but I feel like I’m doing that here — this is my team, and I’m shaping what we’re building.”
With geopolitical shifts, evolving risks, and an increased focus on corporate travel safety, she sees immense opportunity ahead. “Companies need risk management now more than ever. We have great momentum, a strong team, and a supportive leadership structure. This year is going to be an exciting one.”
Work-life integration also plays a role in her enthusiasm. “World Travel Protection makes it easy. Sometimes I have late-night calls with Australia, but if I need to step out during the day for an errand, I can. That flexibility makes all the difference.”
Having that flexibility also allows Marsland to care for her six beloved pets: two dogs and four cats. And while travel is central to her career, it’s just as much a passion in her personal life. “I try to visit a new destination every year. We just booked Argentina and Uruguay. But my favorite place is Tokyo — I’ve been nine times, and I’d go again in a heartbeat. I’ll travel anywhere, anytime, just for the experience.”
By Jessica Robaire
Want More Confidence? Cut Down These Five Negative Thought Patterns
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!Less negative or pessimistic thinking is a stronger predictor of physical health than increasing optimism and has more ripple impacts on your life.
How Habitual Negative Thinking Undermines Growth
Habitual negative thinking—such as self-criticism, chronic complaining, or imagining worst-case scenarios—clutters your mind, clouds your energy, and drains your life-force. To be clear, we are not talking about the discernment of saying something is not okay, authentic anger in the face of injustice, or negative emotions that guide you to value-based action.
Rather, most habitual negative thinking, like thoughts in general, are unconscious and repetitive. The negativity-biased hard-wiring of the brain keeps you stuck in survival and victimhood. Until you cut down on negative clutter, the positive growth you try to build on top struggles to take root.
Habitual negative thinking distorts your perception of reality, robs your motivation, erodes your self-trust, and drowns out inspiration. In essence, trying to grow confidence in a mind overrun with fear is like planting flowers in a weed-filled garden.
The Impact of the Five C’s and How to Clear Your Mindset
According to change management expert and author, Price Pritchett, “If we want to increase our belief in the self, one of the things we can do is start removing pessimism and negative thinking.”
Pritchett points to five C’s which comprise the majority of negative thought loops: complaining, criticizing, concern, commiserating and catastrophizing.
Disrupt the loops by identifying and challenging them.
1) Complaining focuses on problems and shortcomings rather than solutions or positive aspects. If where attention goes, energy flows, then complaining keeps you problem-focused.
Complaining or venting can feel rewarding as it provides validation and a temporary outlet for stress. But it also shrinks the hippocampus, oils your neural pathways for negativity, and shapes what you pay attention to.
Chronic complaining feeds a victim identity where you feel powerless. It keeps you mired in problems instead of seeing possibilities. To counter the habitual negative impact of complaining, ask where your power lies.
What is in your control? Can you practice acceptance and see from another perspective? Can you become solutions-focused and action-oriented? Are you shying away from an uncomfortable conversation? What is one small change you can make to improve the situation?
2) Criticizing focuses on finding fault with yourself or others, often in a harsh or judgmental way.
Being oriented towards poking holes is an imbalance. Because when you are applying your creative energies, you usually have less space and time for criticizing. Unused creativity can give rise to resentment and criticism.
A healthy critical eye becomes a catalyst for more creativity and more possibilities. With constructive feedback, the intention is to identify how to improve, rather than tear down. Mistakes become learning, refining, and a launchpad for growth – not failures.
Whether self-critical dialogue or criticism of others, you must be willing to break through criticism and turn towards creativity again. This is what opens a space for novel thoughts and energy to come through.
Criticism Mindset: “I’m not qualified for this job. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Compassion Mindset: “Nobody who dares to leap ever knows what they are doing.” or “What if not knowing how it’s supposed to be done is my creative license to carve the path?”
3) Concern steeps you in excessive worry or anxiety about potential problems, often without a clear sense of what to do about them. Amidst a foreboding issue, you feel small and helpless. While concern seems helpful, it can fuel anxiety and feeling stuck.
Like empathy, concern is often a reflection of what you value and care about, which can guide compassionate action and catalyze change. But the concern that Pritchett calls “garden variety worry” – concern about inflation or the state of world affairs or AI in the workplace – often leaves you overwhelmed or despondent, feeling powerless.
Worrying makes it feel like you are doing something, but it removes you from the present. Rather than be with uncertainty, you ruminate to escape it and grasp for a sense of control. When you worry, you try to micro-manage the future while envisioning what you don’t want into it.
Unless you can address your concern through positive thoughts, energy, or action, then it honestly helps nobody and nothing. It feeds the energy of fear and keeps you caught in a spiral. Instead, find where you power does reside.
Perhaps bring in a perceptual reframe, such as deeper trust in the bigger picture. Or take grounded responsibility and calm, present-moment action – no matter how small.
Concern Mindset: “All of these policy changes are worrying, and I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Grounded, Present Mindset: “I am going to embody the change I wish to see in the world.” or “Day by day, I am going to contribute to the calm and inclusive environment I wish to encourage by being a welcoming and friendly presence.”
4) Commiserating, or co-rumination, is connecting with others through focusing on shared problems and suffering, which can lead to becoming entrenched in negative emotions.
While it may feel liberating, therapeutic, and bonding at first, those long gripe sessions deplete health and mental strength. When social connection hinges upon rehashing complaints, you quickly fall into reinforcing each other’s victimhood. You bring a heavy focus to what you don’t want, without freeing the energy towards what you do.
Unless you move towards making a constructive change, you’ll be swimming in an energetic pool that gets dirtier as long as everyone only kicks up the mud. Instead, you can practice compassionate listening, empathizing, and empowering.
Commiseration Mindset: “Yes, everything is awful, and it’s not fair, and nobody cares.”
Empathetic, Empowering Mindset: “Yes, this is a big change, and challenging. How can we find opportunity within it?” or “This is hard. We may need to time to take it in. Maybe we can find alternative, creative ways to support our cause?”
5) Catastrophizing involves exaggerating potential problems until they are insurmountable and become worst-case scenarios, which obviously creates stress and anxiety.
With catastrophizing, fear inverts the creative power of imagination towards envisioning disaster scenarios and how they will play out. Often, these scenarios involve your worst fears coming true. You inflate the problem to such a degree you are caught in fight-or-flight and feel powerless.
Keep catastrophizing from running wild with a probability check. Does it usually go as badly as you imagine? Has life disproved you before? Even when something did not go how you wanted, did everything end up alright or even work out for you?
Catastrophe Mindset: “I made a mistake, and I’m going to be fired, and I’ll end up on the streets, broke and alone.”
Grounded, Logical Mindset: “What is the most likely outcome of my mistake? Even if it goes wrong, can I handle it?” or “I’ve made mistakes before, and I have not been fired for them.” or “Will this matter in five years?”
The Ripple Effect of Clearing the Mental Clutter
Cutting down negative thinking doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. It means becoming aware of unhelpful thought patterns and replacing them with more constructive, balanced ones which support your growth.
Rewiring your brain away from self-sabotaging patterns requires practice and discipline. Awareness is the first step. If you can identify and shift these five loops of habitual negative thinking, you will not only feel better, but you will also liberate mental space, clear your energy, and be more effective and creative as a leader.
By Aimee Hansen
Alex Douklias: Vice Chair, Corporate Banking, Wells Fargo Corporate & Investment Banking
People, Voices of ExperienceAlex Douklias is vice chair of Corporate Banking within the Banking division of Wells Fargo Corporate & Investment Banking. In this role, Douklias provides leadership for origination of capital markets solutions and traditional banking products to support large corporate clients across all industries. Douklias is also actively involved in Corporate Banking’s growth and talent development initiatives.
Over three decades in banking, Douklias has driven business growth, shaped future leaders, and set a standard for excellence that continues to define her career. From navigating client relationships to championing professional growth, she brings a strategic mindset and an unwavering focus on impact — both for her clients and the next generation of banking professionals.
A Career Built on Versatility and Client-Centric Solutions
Douklias began her banking career in the fast-paced world of markets, first at Scotiabank and later at J.P. Morgan, where she thrived on the intensity and structure. As her career progressed and her personal priorities evolved, she sought a path that offered both professional growth and flexibility.
“When I was in markets, we were typically at our desks by 7 a.m., which meant I was never able to drop my son off at preschool,” she reflects. “Moving into corporate banking gave me more control over my schedule. I could still cover clients, but I also had the flexibility to be there for the moments that mattered.”
In transitioning to corporate banking, Douklias found a field that aligned with her strengths and interests, particularly in the breadth of challenges and opportunities that come with working with corporate clients.
“I don’t think of it as selling. I think of it as delivering solutions. My focus is on understanding my clients’ pain points and finding ways to help. If we do that well, the business naturally follows.”
Douklias’ client-centered approach propelled her forward in corporate banking, where she became head of the North America business in Global Corporate Banking at J.P. Morgan. Now, as vice chair of Corporate Banking at Wells Fargo, Douklias is focused on both business growth and leadership development.
“I’ve been brought in to help on several initiatives, which is exciting, but what matters most to me is developing the next generation of leaders. That means spotting talent, pushing existing leaders out of their comfort zones, and encouraging them to think bigger about the future of Wells Fargo. I want them to move beyond the day-to-day and embrace a more aspirational vision — and it’s exciting to see that shift happen.”
Navigating Client Relationships Requires EQ
For Douklias, having a client-centered approach requires being able to juggle competing demands while keenly assessing their urgency.
“In corporate banking, you have to be extremely organized,” she says. “There are multiple products, multiple clients, and it is challenging to chase everything at once. Prioritization is key.”
Equally important is the ability to read and navigate different personalities, both internally and externally. “Working with clients across industries and influencing multiple stakeholders requires emotional intelligence. Every corporation has a different culture, every CFO has a different way they like to be engaged. Understanding that and adapting your approach is critical.”
She continues, “I treat my internal constituents as clients because to have influence, they need to know that I genuinely care. If they’re successful, I’m successful — it’s a shared goal. I also think about what motivates them and the value they gain from working with me. By understanding their perspective, I can inspire them to deliver their best work, which ultimately enables me to provide the best for my clients.”
The Power of Feedback and Continuous Development
A strong advocate for professional growth, Douklias has both given and received invaluable feedback throughout her career. One pivotal moment came when a manager observed that she was not asserting herself enough in high-level meetings.
“I was in meetings with senior leaders — managing directors, vice chairs, investment bankers — and sometimes, I held back when I had something to say. A manager suggested executive coaching, and I jumped at the opportunity. The feedback was eye-opening. My coach pointed out that sometimes I spoke too quickly and didn’t breathe enough, which caused my voice to trail off at key moments. Adjusting my delivery of remarks, based on that feedback, made an enormous difference.”
Her advice to those she mentors: “Seek out feedback and embrace it. People genuinely want to help you grow.”
For Douklias, feedback isn’t just about performance — it’s about growth and alignment. “When I offer feedback, I am engaging in an open conversation about what a person’s strengths are, and what their limits are. I find I can develop my team best by offering candid feedback with kindness, and by pushing them beyond their comfort zone.” She believes in addressing challenges in real time, asking direct but supportive questions like, I observed that you shied away from this difficult issue. Is there something we should talk about?
By fostering trust and maintaining transparency, Douklias helps people develop and find the right path forward. “If you form a good bond with your team, and they trust you, they open up — and that’s how you develop people,” she explains. It’s a philosophy that has shaped her leadership, leading to a track record she’s particularly proud of: “I’ve helped many people over my career get promoted to managing directors. Having a little hand in their career development is something that truly matters to me.”
Building and Leveraging Internal Networks
Although mentors and managers can be integral to career development, Douklias also believes in the power of internal networks. “Your network shouldn’t just be your manager or HR partner. You need those work friends — people you can bounce ideas off, vent to, or get an outside perspective from.”
In thinking about how to build that internal network, Douklias encourages professionals to embrace networking opportunities within their firms.
“If you work at headquarters, take advantage of the incredible speakers who come in, whether they’re leaders, military veterans, or CEOs. You go for the speaker and the content, but just as importantly, for the networking. Some of my closest professional relationships started at these events. I always encourage my team to engage, because building an internal network gives you insight into what’s happening across the organization and fosters relationships that go beyond simply being colleagues.”
Know What Sustains You
As a working mother, Douklias has been intentional about defining success on her own terms. “I’ve always worked hard and traveled when needed, but I’ve also made sure to be present for the important moments in my kids’ lives.”
To have a sustainable career, Douklias emphasizes not only prioritizing what is important, but also being clear about setting boundaries, allowing time to recharge.
“Know yourself and what you need to be successful. For some, it’s going for a walk in the middle of the day, or a workout in the morning. For me, I always make sure I have a vacation planned — it helps me stay motivated.”
Another part of Douklias’ life that fulfills her outside of work is watching her children play sports. “I didn’t grow up in a competitive sports environment, but seeing my kids in action has taught me so much about teamwork, resilience, and dedication. I truly treasure my weekends spent cheering them on.”
By Jessica Robaire
The High Value of A Deeper Reset from Work This Summer
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!A retreat, focused on reconnecting with yourself, can bring rejuvenation and clarity and be a huge antidote to overwhelm and burnout. Especially if you’ve begun to question your current career trajectory, or simply how you navigate your priorities within it, taking a step back to check in with yourself is invaluable, and can bring you back to your deeper resources of inner power.
Are your life and work aligned with who you are now, what you value, and what you find most fulfilling? Do you still want what you once thought you wanted, when it comes to the career choices you are making? No matter what the answers may be, taking a pause to gain perspective will bring clarity to the path.
A retreat isn’t just about pressing pause; it’s about resetting, realigning, and stepping back into life and all of your choices with renewed vision and energy.
1) Take a break from distractions.
Social media overload? As executive and leadership coach Nicki Gilmour writes, “In a world overflowing with distractions, tapping into your own voice and ignoring nonsense is a powerful act of self-care and productivity.”
In a week-long retreat, full of relaxing and beautiful surroundings, nurturing and connective gatherings, and therapeutic body treatments, you’ll spend far less time on your phone and receive the benefits of digital detoxing – such as better mental health and better sleep – as you turn the noise way down.
2) Be nurtured and rest your decision-making.
Vacations from work can be fun, but they often leave you just as exhausted as when you left. At a women’s retreat, you can relax into simply being a guest and being nurtured by your hostess, the retreat center, and your surroundings.
Retreat activities like meditation, yoga, and somatic movement can help to relieve stress from the body. Even brief retreats have been shown to reduce stress and anxiety levels and improve biological markers of inflammation. A women’s retreat will also remind you that self-care is not something you prioritize for one week.
3) Get out of the well-oiled thought loops.
Do you ever feel like your mind is on repeat? In a given day, up to 90% of your thoughts are repetitive, and this reinforces the same beliefs, sense of self, habits, and choices. This makes it difficult to tune in. By stepping into a different context, usually outside of your comfort zone, you disrupt your habitual thought patterns.
At a retreat, you can also rest your decision fatigue and responsibilities, and relax into an experience curated to allow spaciousness and reflection. When you clear the busyness, new rhythms and insights arise.
4) Reconnect with your body’s wisdom.
The office can push you to live in your head and disconnect from your physical self, even when it comes to overriding your body’s natural rhythms for rest and play. At a retreat, you will get out of your mind and move into your body and your heart. When you do, you have more access to feel what you really feel, be as you really are, and sense what you want to create in your life now.
Whether breathing, meditation, tai chi, yoga, or somatic movement, a women’s retreat will encourage you to connect with the rich and embodied insight that lives in your being and cellular awareness. You have the space to establish the feminine connection with your deep knowing and intuition. You become more aware of how life wants to uniquely move through you, so you can embrace a more heart-led adventure.
5) Put down roles and get back to your essence.
High level professional woman wear so many hats, sometimes it can feel like you simply go from one role to the next, faster than you can change them, which leads to craving time for yourself. Who are you beneath the identities, labels, and real and perceived expectations?
Who were you before them, who are you with them, and what of yourself have you put away? A retreat helps you detach and remember your essence. This often includes remembering vivid energies that have gone dormant in the push and pull.
6) Discern your inner voice from your energetic ecosystem.
What we don’t realize is how much the energetic eco-system is determining how we live. It’s easy to fall into living life from the outside-in simply based on consensus. Similar to the notion we are the average of the people we spend the most time with, your beliefs, mentality, values, ways to spend time and money, and sense of possibilities are impacted by what is normalized in your culture and immediate social circle.
Stepping away and listening within gives you space from outside influences to discern your own heart and values. You unearth the truths poking at you from under the surface, guiding you to live from the inside-out. Sometimes this includes admitting what you know but are trying to deny knowing.
7) Get distance from habitual socializing.
It’s easy to slide into routines of social contracts with others whether a partner, co-workers, or friends. You create blueprints related to how you spend time together, what you talk about, what you do, what you eat or drink together. Which of these things enrich you, and which are simply habits you’re going along with?
When away from your usual social routines, and engaging in nourishing activities which reconnect you with yourself, you begin to consider if your habitual social dynamics resonate with who you are now. Do they fill you up? Or are some things ready to go so you can cultivate more of what nurtures and enlivens you?
8) Experience next level support from other women.
A third of daily speech is small talk. In a women’s retreat, you are given the opportunity to immerse in far more than surface chats. Because when you get a bunch of women in the same room who are asking deeper questions or focusing on reconnecting with themselves, the conversation changes, and it impacts the conversation you have with yourself, too.
Another advantage of going on a women’s retreat is nobody has preconceptions of who you are. You have a space to explore openly. The level of trust and authenticity able to be built between a group of women is amazing. Far more nourishing than networking is a room in which all agendas are checked – and you can be seen, heard, and validated for who you are.
9) Shift your perspective on life.
While a change of scenery brings a fresh outlook, a transformational women’s retreat challenges your perceptions at a deeper level. Our perceptions define much of our life experience, but how many of the lenses you carry about yourself and the world are serving you?
Within a women’s retreat focused on honing attention inwards, you may uncover limiting beliefs, outdated narratives, and hidden desires shaping your life which you no longer wish to ascribe to. Where are you still telling yourself you “should” or “need” to be or do or have something? Where are you committing to something you don’t actually want to?
10) Awaken to new possibilities.
Whether it’s a renewed sense of purpose, clarity about a life change, or simply remembering the connection to your inner voice, retreats unlock something powerful. Emboldened by the support of other women, you are more inclined to move from a place of possibility in your life.
If you’ve been in a liminal space, aware you are moving towards change but unclear of what it even is, a retreat can be a place that helps you to find more clarity and courage to begin making steps in a new direction.
More Than a Getaway—A Gateway to Your Inner Power
This summer, instead of another trip that fades into memory, why not embark on a journey that rejuvenates and transforms you from within? A women’s retreat isn’t just a trip away —it’s an invitation to return to yourself.
Aimee Hansen is founder and lead facilitator of Storyteller Within and is based on Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. The Journey Into Sacred Expression women’s retreat has been recommended by Lonely Planet Wellness Escapes and The Write Life. Join her this summer amidst volcanic landscapes for a self-exploratory writing journey, meditation, yoga, movement and ceremonies on July 26 – August 4, 2025. Follow her and Storyteller Within on instagram.
International Women’s Day: Stay Focused on What Matters to You
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!― Pema Chödrön
It can be tough to follow arbitrary advice to be less stressed, do more self-care, and spend more time ‘sparking joy’ while writing emails and trying to eat a salad. Our advice this Women’s History Month is much like Nike’s clever advertising campaign of “You can’t win, so win”. If you want to go all the way, then go all the way in your career in Corporate America, do not let anyone tell you that you cannot succeed. We would go further and say win on your own terms, define your own success however that is to you. Know what you want and what you are ready to do and if it resonates with you to avoid stress, overwork and overwhelm in these strange times then that, too, is a message to listen to.
In a world overflowing with distractions, tapping into your own voice and ignoring nonsense is a powerful act of self-care and productivity. We take in over five times more data daily than we did in 2011 and being stricter about the scroll in our lives allows us to preserve our energy, focus on what truly matters, and build lives that are more fulfilling and less cluttered with irrelevant noise. According to experts, fear based topics like wars, erratic leaders, fear of layoffs, financial loss and reduction of rights—which seems to be our daily fare so far in 2025—creates more overwhelm and attentional bias than cat videos. Ignore the noise.
Start with You
You learn from others that inspire you and then spend time figuring out how to live your values. This year instead of the hashtags for International Women’s Day, I invite you to spend thirty minutes going deeper with yourself to figure out how to embrace what aligns with your values to create space for growth, happiness, and success.
Is the course you’re following leading you to the destination you want to reach? Are you living “outside in,” following a path where others have set the milestones and dictated how you should take each step? If this works for you, great, but if you find yourself asking “Is this it?” then consider what Bonnie Wan writes in her book “The Life Brief- A Playbook for No Regrets Living!”. She recommends “inside out” living, meaning getting real about what you want, however unconventional. And, if that means being the CEO or a dog spa owner, do everything you need to do to make it happen.
Know your Values
If you listed your values on paper, what would you write down? How would you say you lived those values? Give yourself some examples to test for accuracy as you may find you want to change words. Make your values verbs as it is in the doing of them that matters. What percentage of the time do you spend living those values?
If this feels daunting, then consider a few exercises to ensure you are spending as little as an hour per year on ensuring you know your values and are living them. Imagine you are celebrating your 100th birthday – where are you and with whom? What are you saying about what your life has looked like? What are the people around you saying in their speeches? What do you have to do now to make that a reality?
Increase your Mental Clarity
When we stop allowing ourselves to be distracted by trivial matters or irrelevant opinions, we free up mental space for things that truly require our attention. Focusing on what’s important helps us sharpen our thoughts, increase clarity, and make better decisions. Ignoring nonsense isn’t just about avoiding distractions; it’s about consciously choosing where to direct our energy. It is about being mindful and intentional about what we are doing but moreover, why we are doing it. Ignoring unproductive conversations or toxic comments allows us to maintain control over our reactions, helping us stay calm, composed, and more emotionally resilient in difficult situations. We can spend the time building trust with our colleagues so that we can get to a place of saying and hearing hard things and having radical candor.
Time is our most valuable resource. Every minute spent on trivial or irrelevant matters is a minute taken away from what truly matters. By ignoring nonsense, we reclaim that time and can devote it to more meaningful and productive activities—whether it’s pursuing personal goals, focusing on work, or spending quality time with loved ones. By being selective with your attention, you can cultivate relationships that matter and spend time on people and experiences that energize you. Not everything deserves your time and energy. Recognize what’s important and focus on it. Whether it’s in your personal life, at work, or online, ask yourself: Is this worth my attention? If the answer is no, let it go.
Instead spend time reminding yourself of your personal and professional priorities. This helps you keep perspective and make decisions about where to focus your time and energy. When nonsense arises, you can quickly assess if it aligns with your goals or if it’s something you can afford to ignore. Social media is a breeding ground for nonsense. Whether it’s heated debates, inflammatory opinions, or people airing personal grievances, it’s easy to get sucked into the drama. Consider taking regular breaks from social media or curating your feeds to include only meaningful content.
Strengthen Your Confidence by Being True to Yourself
Letting go of the urge to please everyone or respond to every negative comment builds self-assurance. By ignoring what doesn’t align with our values or doesn’t contribute to our growth, we assert our boundaries and reinforce our self-worth. Over time, this enhances our confidence and makes it easier to focus on our goals without being derailed by irrelevant opinions.
Of course, there are times when engagement is necessary—whether it’s addressing genuine concerns, advocating for yourself, or standing up for others. The key is knowing when something is worth your time and when it’s just noise. When in doubt, pause and evaluate the potential impact of engaging.
At the end of the day, success—however you define it—begins with clarity, confidence, and the courage to ignore the noise. By tuning out distractions and aligning your actions with your values, you create a path that is both fulfilling and sustainable. So, as you move forward, ask yourself: What truly deserves your time? What will you let go of to make space for what matters?
Define your own version of winning—and go all in.
Work with us as you navigate your career. Coaching starts at $300 per session and we offer a fifteen-minute exploratory needs call for assessing how we can help you and for a chemistry fit. Book HERE
By Nicki Gilmour, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com and Evolved People Coaching
Pamela Codo-Lotti: Partner, Global Chief Operating Officer of Shareholder Activism Defense, Goldman Sachs
People, Voices of ExperienceResilient and driven, Codo-Lotti is continually inspired by the values her parents instilled in her from a young age. As a newly minted partner at Goldman Sachs, she has embraced challenges with relentless determination, a strong intellectual curiosity, and an unwavering commitment to her clients and colleagues. From her early love of numbers and education to her passion for mentorship and financial independence for all, Codo-Lotti shares how persistence and purpose are central to her journey.
From Associate to Partner
Fueled by an early interest in numbers and giving advice, Codo-Lotti found a career in finance to be the perfect fit. After moving to the U.S. from France to earn her MBA at the Wharton School of Business, Codo-Lotti joined Goldman Sachs as an Associate. Over the next two decades, she rose through the ranks up to her recent promotion to partner.
“It was a great moment because it’s a recognition by your peers and by your clients, of all your hard work,” she reflects. “I look forward to continuing to focus on building a stronger business, giving advice to more clients, and mentoring more people.”
For Codo-Lotti, the partner title is not just an accolade but a platform to amplify her impact. “As a senior leader, I have a deep understanding of the firm, allowing me to offer practical guidance and support to others in achieving success.”
Codo-Lotti credits her natural curiosity as an important element in her career evolution. “Finance is an expansive and ever-evolving field, and there’s always more to learn. Curiosity drives me — I’m constantly reading, exploring, and deepening my understanding of different areas, even in my current role.”
A Foundation of Education and Determination
Codo-Lotti notes how her insatiable curiosity and determination are rooted in her childhood and the inspiration of her parents, whom she considers trailblazers.
“They came from a small African country, Benin, and were sent to study in France on merit-based scholarships. They always told us, ‘Your brain is the most important thing. Nurture it.’ They went out of their way to get us to the best schools, no matter what.”
Her parents’ determination to give her a solid educational foundation was equally matched by Codo-Lotti’s internal drive. She highlights this quality as an important element to her success.
“There is a little white dog in a famous French cartoon named Idefix (“Idee Fixe”), which literally means ‘fixed idea.’ My dad nicknamed me that because even from a young age, when I want something, I go after it. Persistence and staying focused on the end goal really helped me in my career and got me through difficult and challenging moments.”
An Empathetic Approach
“People often tell me that I’m very empathetic,” she says. “It has been a tremendous asset because my clients know that I genuinely care. When someone has a problem, I really want to find a way to help. I think it has played a significant role in my career.”
Empathy also shapes Codo-Lotti’s leadership style. She explains, “In a team there will inevitably be a lot of opinions, so it is important to understand where people are coming from and what they’re looking to achieve.”
In addition, she tries to be intentional about being accessible to her team, recognizing that as she becomes more senior, the perception of her availability and approachability may change. “It’s important for me to spend time with my team at work, but also making sure we connect informally, whether for a quick coffee catch-up or dinner.”
Mentorship Advice
Beyond the inspiration of her parents, Codo-Lotti points to the guidance of mentors as integral to her career development. Now as a mentor to others, she advises, “the most important thing is to trust yourself and not shut down your own voice. While advice from mentors is important, they succeeded based on who they are. What works for them may not work for you.”
She continues, “what I tell people is that I will give you advice and tell you what I think is best, but at the end of the day you have your own instincts, and you have to see if that fits with who you are and what you want to do.”
When it comes to fostering mentoring relationships, Codo-Lotti encourages taking initiative. “Sometimes you have to take chances. Whenever I worked with someone who impressed me, I put time on their calendar and introduced myself. Sometimes you click, sometimes you don’t, but when you do, you invest in that relationship.”
Finding Strength in Uniqueness Through Executive Coaching
Executive coaching has played a pivotal role in Codo-Lotti’s growth, particularly in embracing her uniqueness while leveling up her communication skills. “I’m a French native speaker; English is my second language. When I came to the U.S., it took me a while to view my accent not as a disadvantage, but as something that made me unique.”
Coaching helped her refine her communication. “I focused on how I could be more structured, more powerful, more impactful—so that the accent became a strength. The firm provided me with a coach who helped me work on my communication and presentation style, which really made a difference. I also found having an external perspective, someone who listens and helps you understand how others hear you, to be invaluable.”
Committed to Education and Financial Independence for Women
Looking ahead, Codo-Lotti is passionate about uplifting the next generation. As a senior leader at Goldman Sachs, she emphasizes, “I hope to help a lot of talented and diverse junior bankers succeed.”
Codo-Lotti looks to extend that impact beyond Goldman Sachs through her work with the Jeremiah Program, which helps single mothers return to college. As a member of the board, Codo-Lotti is thrilled to be a part of the program’s mission.
“By supporting single mothers in pursuing their education, there is an opportunity to break the cycle of poverty across two generations — empowering both mother and child, so she doesn’t have to choose between her education, financial stability, and caring for her family.”
As a mother of a young family, Codo-Lotti finds joy in watching their intellectual curiosity take shape. “It’s fascinating to watch my children grow into their own as human beings. My husband and I love seeing their minds expand, even when it means that they start beating us at board games. It’s a reminder of how quickly they’re learning and evolving.”
Just as she was encouraged to nurture her mind and embrace learning, Codo-Lotti is committed to passing that mindset forward — both at home and in her broader mission to empower others.
By Jessica Robaire
Living Intentionally: How an Executive Coach Can Guide You Toward a More Purposeful Life
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!We are living in volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous times regardless of who you are and what you believe. Finding Zen can be elusive as we try not have jitters around markets, layoffs, job hunting, inflation and future client revenue pipelines. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of tasks, deadlines, and constant decision-making. For many executives, and perhaps working mothers (and fathers) most of all, the demands of their roles leave little time for reflection or intentional action. Yet, living intentionally—aligning daily choices with long-term values and goals—is one of the most powerful ways to achieve personal fulfillment, effective leadership, and career success.
But how does one begin to live intentionally in the midst of a demanding and often chaotic life? The answer lies in self-awareness, strategic planning, and conscious decision-making. An executive coach can play a pivotal role in guiding leaders through this process, helping them not only survive the daily grind but thrive with purpose and direction.
What Does It Mean to Live Intentionally?
Living intentionally is about making conscious choices that align with your values, long-term vision, and goals. It involves setting clear priorities, staying focused on what matters most, and avoiding distractions that do not contribute to your overall purpose. Instead of letting life happen to you, living intentionally means actively creating the life you want, one decision at a time. Work with our coaches [book here] to help you with the following:
Living intentionally is not just about career success—it’s about creating a life that feels aligned and authentic. For executives, this might mean fostering healthier relationships, improving work-life balance, and contributing meaningfully to the larger organization or community.
How an Executive Coach Can Help You Live Intentionally
An executive coach is a trained professional who works one-on-one with leaders to help them achieve their personal and professional goals. Through a combination of coaching techniques, feedback, and structured exercises, an executive coach can help you clarify your vision, set strategic goals, and create actionable plans for achieving those goals. Here’s how an executive coach can specifically help you live more intentionally:
1. Clarifying Your Values and Vision
One of the first steps in living intentionally is having a clear understanding of your values and vision. Many executives are so focused on day-to-day operations that they haven’t taken the time to articulate what truly matters to them, both personally and professionally. An executive coach can guide you through exercises that help you clarify what you value most, whether that’s innovation, integrity, family, or something else.
Once your values are clear, your coach will help you create a vision for the future that aligns with these values. This vision becomes your compass for making decisions and setting goals, ensuring that every action you take moves you closer to your desired outcome.
2. Setting and Achieving Meaningful Goals
Setting goals is essential for living intentionally, but it’s equally important to ensure that these goals are meaningful and aligned with your long-term vision. An executive coach can help you set both big-picture and smaller, actionable goals. By breaking down large goals into manageable steps, your coach ensures that you stay on track and focused on what truly matters.
Additionally, your coach will help you avoid the trap of setting goals based on external pressures or fleeting desires. Instead, your goals will be rooted in your values and long-term vision, making them more likely to lead to fulfillment and lasting success.
3. Developing Strong Decision-Making Skills
Intentional living requires making decisions that reflect your values and move you closer to your goals. However, executives often face numerous decisions daily, and the sheer volume can lead to decision fatigue or reactive decision-making. An executive coach helps you develop the skills necessary to make decisions that are thoughtful, deliberate, and aligned with your larger objectives.
Your coach will help you create frameworks for evaluating decisions, ensuring that you prioritize what matters most. This process helps you avoid being swept along by external pressures and stay true to your vision.
4. Enhancing Time and Energy Management
For many executives, time is their most precious resource, and managing it effectively is crucial to living intentionally. An executive coach will work with you to assess how you currently spend your time and identify areas for improvement. They can help you establish priorities, delegate tasks more effectively, and create strategies for eliminating distractions and minimizing time-wasting activities.
By optimizing how you manage your time and energy, you free up resources to focus on the activities that truly drive your success and align with your purpose.
5. Improving Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness is at the heart of intentional living. Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, emotional triggers, and behavioral patterns allows you to make more informed decisions and respond thoughtfully to challenges. An executive coach helps you increase your self-awareness by offering feedback, encouraging reflection, and guiding you through tools like emotional intelligence assessments.
By improving your emotional intelligence, you become better equipped to handle high-pressure situations, build stronger relationships, and lead with authenticity. This, in turn, contributes to a more intentional approach to leadership and life.
6. Creating Accountability and Sustainable Change
Living intentionally requires ongoing effort and commitment. An executive coach provides you with the accountability needed to stay on course, ensuring that you continue to make progress toward your goals. Your coach helps you set milestones, track your progress, and celebrate successes along the way.
Furthermore, a coach encourages you to reflect on your challenges and setbacks, learning from them and adjusting your approach as necessary. This continuous cycle of reflection and adaptation ensures that living intentionally becomes a sustainable practice, not just a one-time goal.
The Power of Intentional Leadership
Living intentionally is a transformative way of approaching both life and leadership. For executives, the demands of leadership can often push intentionality to the backburner, but making deliberate choices aligned with your values and long-term vision is the key to sustaining success, happiness, and personal fulfillment.
An executive coach can be an invaluable partner in this journey, offering clarity, guidance, and support to help you create a life that reflects your highest aspirations. Whether you’re looking to refine your decision-making, manage your time more effectively, or develop deeper self-awareness, working with a coach can provide the tools and accountability you need to live and lead with intention.
By investing in intentional living, executives can build more balanced, impactful careers while enjoying greater satisfaction and well-being in both their professional and personal lives.
By Nicki Gilmour, executive and leadership coach, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com
Julie Burger: Co-Head of Public Finance, Wells Fargo
People, Voices of ExperienceFor nearly two decades, Burger has dedicated her career to public finance, crafting a path defined by hard work, meaningful connections, and a passion for tangible impact. From her very first internship at Bank of America, she realized she had found the right fit—a field that blended challenge and purpose in ways that resonated deeply.
“I loved public finance,” Burger reflects. “It’s been my career since day one. Starting as an analyst, I worked incredibly hard to learn, grow, and show that I was willing to work harder than anyone else. That’s been a central theme in my career— dedicating myself fully and relentlessly to everything I do.”
In 2011, Burger joined Wells Fargo during a pivotal moment when the firm was in a building phase. “I had the chance to help build our transportation public finance practice from the ground up,” she recalls, noting how much she enjoys collaborating with her clients and colleagues on meaningful projects.
Her unwavering tenacity and passion didn’t go unnoticed. Two years ago, she was named Co-Head of Public Finance. “It was a challenge and an opportunity,” she says. “Public finance needs more women leaders, and I felt I owed it to myself and others to step up. It’s been incredibly rewarding.”
In her leadership role, Burger, alongside her co-lead, has guided her team to remarkable success, achieving a top-five ranking as senior manager of negotiated issuance in the municipal market. “I’m incredibly proud of what we’ve built; it’s the result of the team’s hard work and dedication,” she says.
The Tangible Impact of Public Finance
One of the reasons Burger remains passionate about her work is its visible, lasting impact. “Public finance is about infrastructure—the roads we drive on, the hospitals we visit, the colleges we attend,” she explains. “It’s tangible. When we work on a project, we’re helping to build something, which isn’t always the case in every area of finance.”
From bridges in Pennsylvania to a new street lighting system in the District of Columbia, Burger finds inspiration in being part of something bigger than herself. “Infrastructure is vital—it shapes how people move, access clean water, and build their communities,” she says.
Hard Work, Empathy, and Embracing Change
Reflecting on her success, Burger credits a few core principles. “Be willing to put in a lot of hard work. When you put in the effort, people notice—your boss, your clients, your colleagues. It makes a difference,” she says.
Burger also points to being kind and empathetic as important in her career. “Sometimes women feel they can’t be empathetic because it might seem like a weakness. I think the opposite. Empathy is a strength. I came up the ranks, so I understand what it’s like to be a junior analyst or a woman trying to succeed in this business.”
In addition, Burger highlights being solution oriented. “It’s about being thoughtful in how I serve my clients and delivering the absolute best results. I care deeply about the people I work with, and that drives everything I do.”
While hard work, empathy, and being solution-oriented have been her guiding principles, Burger candidly admits that embracing change has not come as naturally—but it’s a skill she’s intentionally developed to grow and succeed.
“I’m not someone who loves change,” she confesses. “But one of the best pieces of advice I got—and now share—is to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Challenges can be scary because inevitably they involve change, but it leads to growth. It’s about taking calculated risks and being okay with change when you know it can lead to something better.”
The Player-Coach Approach
Throughout her career, Burger has refined her leadership style, finding that the player-coach approach aligns best with her strengths. “I’ve always loved working with clients—solving problems, delivering solutions. When I took on this role, I didn’t want to lose that connection,” she explains. “I still actively work with clients, and I think my team appreciates that I understand what it’s like to be in the trenches.”
She believes in leading by example. “It’s not about telling people what to do—it’s about showing them. I’ve worked under some great leaders who stayed close to the work, and I’ve tried to emulate that.”
In addition to being intentional about the kind of leader she wants to be, Burger also emphasizes the value of creating a positive team culture. “Nobody succeeds alone. I want my team to understand that being a good teammate is key to success—not just for themselves, but for everyone.”
Mentorship is a Responsibility
At Wells Fargo, Burger continues to look for opportunities to give back and support the next generation of leaders, whether through formal arrangements like the Women Go Far initiative or informally within her team. She sees mentorship as a responsibility, especially for women leaders.
“It’s important for women leaders to pay it forward—that’s how we ensure the next generation of women rises to leadership. Whether it’s mentoring junior professionals or collaborating with peers, sharing lessons learned and lifting each other up is essential to building a stronger, more inclusive future.”
Finding Balance
Outside of work, Burger has found ways to unwind and maintain perspective—something she acknowledges she didn’t prioritize earlier in her career. “One thing I’d probably tell my younger self is to do a better job at work-life balance,” she reflects. “I was very focused on work and succeeding, but it’s important to have that balance. It makes you better, more grounded, and centered.”
Yoga has been one of the ways she achieves that balance. “I’ve gotten into yoga over the last few years. It’s a great way to de-stress and spend an hour without a phone, just focusing on the moment.”
A lifelong sports fan, Burger spends her Sundays immersed in football. “People know not to bother me from 1:00 to 7:00,” she laughs. She’s also passionate about animals and finds fulfillment volunteering at a local shelter, giving back to a cause she’s always cared about.
By Jessica Robaire