As recently covered, the prerequisite to building trust as a leader is to cultivate a deep sense of self-trust. The most important (work) relationship you have is with yourself.
Executive presence has nothing on embodied presence. When you trust yourself, you carry yourself differently. A real leader is embodied. Trusting yourself means you move with more clarity, consistency, and congruency between your values, words, actions, and outcomes.
When you internally source your power and authority, it reflects in the quality of your presence, the willingness to take decisions, the faith in your movements, and in your adaptability and resilience amidst challenges.
As Maven Miara writes, “So why do so many women leaders struggle with self-trust? Because we’ve been conditioned to seek permission instead of power. Not anymore. Self-trust fuels confident leadership.”
Here are eight ways to build your sense of self-trust, and tips on how to apply each:
1) Know Thyself
To trust yourself, you must remain true to yourself. That means a willingness to un-know yourself and re-know who you are now. This means staying connected and listening within.
Self-awareness means recognizing the beliefs, patterns, conditioning, identities, and expectations that shape how you perceive and how you show up—yet, they are not your limitations. They are protective layers.
Beneath the layers, your essential self is always there. And wherever you are living in a way that is disconnected from who you really are, the truths of your being will be seeking to reach you.
Developing self-trust means coming back to trusting your own senses, instincts, values, preferences, perspectives, and intuition. You are able to sense what feels right to and for you and to discern what is not for you. Validating your intuition and inner knowing helps you to build self-esteem. Inner congruence reflects in your vitality.
Apply: Create moments of solitude to check-in with yourself. Keep small intentional rituals such as a five minute morning meditation. Journal to insightful questions that guide you to strip away stories and reconnect with your inner voice. Practice asking yourself what your needs or preferences are.
2) Practice Compassion and Emotional Awareness
Self-trust is also built on being connected to and responsive to your emotions and creating inner safety. Speaking to relationships, Linda and Charlie Bloom write in Psychology Today that self-trust is “having the conviction that you will be kind and respectful to yourself regardless of the outcome of your efforts.”
Self-trust requires you can trust that you will not be self-punishing when making mistakes. If the inner critic is constantly blaming and berating you, you will not feel safe to experiment and learn. If you are caught at self-protection, you will be unable to examine your experience for new insights.
Yet integrating the wisdom learned through mistakes is part of building self-trust and growing. It’s hard to do that as a non-forgiving perfectionist.
When self-criticism is usurped by self-compassion—the ability to be as understanding, supportive and encouraging as you would to someone else you deeply care about—you are able to expand as a human and leader.
Apply: When feeling triggered, breathe and check in with yourself about what you need. Ignoring your needs corrodes self-trust. Practice allowing feelings to be felt and pass through you, while garnering insight they may offer.
Create a self-gratitude journal where you acknowledge what you appreciate about yourself, challenges you’ve taken on, decisions you’re proud of, wins and successes and ways you trust yourself.
3) Be In the Present
If you lack self-trust, you are caught in past ruptures of credibility or you are worrying about the future. Sometimes, you are simply looking at the entire mountain, instead of taking each step as it comes.
Either way, you are caught in stories and removing yourself from the potent present moment. And, you are displacing your personal power instead of stepping into it exactly where it is—in the here and now.
Regret, worry, or burning out to make it work can parade as certainty and be oddly comforting. We project a false guise of certainty backwards or forwards, even if it’s unwanted: I won’t follow through or I won’t succeed or if I don’t force, it won’t happen.
The familiar story may feel safer to a tightly wound nervous system than embracing uncertainty and trusting in the moment (and yourself) to guide you and give rise to the right decisions and right actions.
As the Blooms point out, the paradox is fear and worry do not exist in the present, so being in the present is the ultimate protection.
Apply: Serious question. Have you ever thought of building your tolerance levels for being in the present moment? Without distraction? What would it would mean for you?
4) Release External Validation
At some level, when you don’t trust yourself, you will feel like an imposter not just at work, but in life. So you will be caught in seeking external approval and validation.
Chronic reassurance-seeking outsources the emotional labor of fear and anxiety and is crippling to self-trust. According to Gravitas Founder, Lisa Sun, the self-sustaining confidence of knowing your worth is most common among women over 50 years old. Tempering the urge for external reassurance certainly plays into this.
The ability to intentionally examine various angles or perspectives of an issue is a gift. Chronic second-guessing is a nightmare. When you have self-compassion, you are more willing to embrace uncertainty and make decisions, because your worth is not on the line.
Apply: Before you turn to someone else for an opinion or advice, get quiet, and ask your own. You may wish to both write the question and answer yourself. You may be surprised how much wisdom you’re sitting on.
5) Honor Your Boundaries
As Paulo Coehlo wrote, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” Author Caroline Myss talks about how ‘boundaries’ emerged into our everyday social language as we began to recognize ourselves as not only physical but also energetic beings.
Boundaries matter because self-trust requires a ‘sense of self’ to trust, and a sense of self requires discernment. When you lack integrity, you can be pulled in any direction or towards any whim, regardless of whether it’s aligned or resonant to your own inner truth.
Boundaries are not to keep others out, but to keep you whole and integral. They reflect an inner valuing and authentic contract with self. Some people even create an inner boundary with their inner critic. Your boundaries discern between what resonates and nurtures your being and what does not.
Sure, you could commit to your boss, meet every deadline, and keep every promise you’ve made to your team. But let’s say you’re entirely misplaced in this area of work and burning yourself out to do it. Will you trust yourself? Well, you may trust yourself to betray yourself.
Keeping promises to others does not alone build self-trust, if the promises violate your inner knowing or are inauthentic to you. Real self-trust and organic boundaries come from being aware enough of what your inner truths and values are, and knowing that you will not betray them.
Apply: Identify where are you saying ‘yes’ when it’s truly a ‘no’ for you. What would ‘no’ feel like? Is there anywhere in life where you are violating your own boundaries?
6) Keep Your Word With Yourself
If you habitually break your word with yourself, how can you build self-trust? Lying to yourself, even in small ways, wreaks havoc within. When you don’t believe yourself, you don’t believe in yourself. But nothing builds self-trust faster than keeping your word with self.
Keeping promises with yourself means validating what matters to you and assigning this as much importance and priority as outside demands. When you meet the commitments you make with others, but always compromise the ones you made with yourself, you are sending your cells a message: you don’t matter.
If someone treats you like you’re not important to them, do you trust them? In order to rebuild self-trust, you need to treat your word with yourself at least as importantly as you do your word with others.
Identify what is really important to you, and be transparent with yourself about it. Show up consistently to yourself in small ways, and let it build, step by step, towards momentum, results, and more self-trust.
Apply: Listen in and clarify what is important to you. Where are you ignoring this? Where are you keeping your word with self and where are you bending it? Set reasonable and achievable commitments, treat them as real, and acknowledge when you fulfill them. Be realistic.
7) Take On Risk And Challenge
If you rarely take on new challenges, explore new expressions, or take yourself out of your comfort zone, you won’t have the experiences which build more self-trust.
One risk you can take to build self-trust is to speak up in a room where you’d normally hold back. Put your weight behind the value of your voice and your perspectives, rather than asking permission to.
Expanding into new skills is a way to build self-efficacy and increase a sense of personal competence. Through putting yourself into the valuable role of beginner in unfamiliar territory, you learn you are capable and adaptable to challenges and setbacks. You may discover gifts and capacities beyond the ones you knew.
Apply: Choose one thing you are already curious about and invest in growing in that area. Check the first challenge that comes to mind—is it truly out of your comfort zone? If you’re an adrenaline junkie, a marathon may not be the challenge. Yin yoga might be.
8) Practice Accountability
When you take accountability for your own perspectives, actions, behaviors, and outcomes, you build self-trust. Accountability is a sign that you trust yourself, because when you err, you do not collapse into shame or deflect responsibility. Rather, you see the moment as an opportunity to step even more into integrity.
Even more than to others, ownership demonstrates your credibility to yourself. Not only do you hold what happened differently, you feel and experience it differently, too.
You know you have grown when you can own your part in an undesirable outcome. Or when something that would have wilted you becomes an insight from which to learn. Equally, owning your part helps you to discern what is not yours to own or internalize.
Being accountable also means a willingness to see and honestly assess the reality in front of you. Because when you do this, you can move from a place of grounded empowerment. It means being honest even when it’s hard to, including with yourself.
Apply: Notice how taking accountability, and owning your part, has helped to liberate you and for you to grow. Where in life would you like to see more clearly and take more accountability? How can you start?
BONUS: Trust in Life
Self-trust is not hyper-independence and it’s also not being a control freak.
It’s trusting yourself enough to cultivate dynamics of interdependence, because you are able to extend that trust to others who have also earned it. Connection, collaboration, and co-creation depend on this. How we trust others (or don’t trust) reflects our self-image and how much we trust ourselves. If you required others to always do exactly as you wished, you would never trust them.
If you require yourself to flawlessly do exactly as you wished, you will likely never trust yourself. From models of understanding such as Human Design, not everyone is meant to work or create or make decisions the same. What makes us effective and what fulfills us expresses differently. Being curious about how we work helps us to build trust.
But it goes even further, if you require life to always be exactly as you wish it to be, you will not trust in life. Paradoxically, self-trust requires a willingness to surrender. When you trust in something greater than yourself, call it life or universal forces or the divine, not everything comes down to you and what you alone can control.
When you value yourself, humility breeds self-trust. And the more you are able to release your grip on the wheel, and be receptive to be guided by life, the more willing you may be to trust when you know your hands belong there.
By: Aimee Hansen is a long time writer and heart coach with theglasshammer.com. Her recent work includes “This Book is a Retreat” co-written with Marianne Richmond.
If you would like to work with Aimee or any of our coaches including Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder, please click HERE for a free, exploratory call with Nicki who can match you with the right coach for you (we have six coaches, all with different backgrounds who can help you depending on what you need).
Radical Self-Trust: Eight Ways to Build Embodied Leadership (Pt. 2)
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!Executive presence has nothing on embodied presence. When you trust yourself, you carry yourself differently. A real leader is embodied. Trusting yourself means you move with more clarity, consistency, and congruency between your values, words, actions, and outcomes.
When you internally source your power and authority, it reflects in the quality of your presence, the willingness to take decisions, the faith in your movements, and in your adaptability and resilience amidst challenges.
As Maven Miara writes, “So why do so many women leaders struggle with self-trust? Because we’ve been conditioned to seek permission instead of power. Not anymore. Self-trust fuels confident leadership.”
Here are eight ways to build your sense of self-trust, and tips on how to apply each:
1) Know Thyself
To trust yourself, you must remain true to yourself. That means a willingness to un-know yourself and re-know who you are now. This means staying connected and listening within.
Self-awareness means recognizing the beliefs, patterns, conditioning, identities, and expectations that shape how you perceive and how you show up—yet, they are not your limitations. They are protective layers.
Beneath the layers, your essential self is always there. And wherever you are living in a way that is disconnected from who you really are, the truths of your being will be seeking to reach you.
Developing self-trust means coming back to trusting your own senses, instincts, values, preferences, perspectives, and intuition. You are able to sense what feels right to and for you and to discern what is not for you. Validating your intuition and inner knowing helps you to build self-esteem. Inner congruence reflects in your vitality.
Apply: Create moments of solitude to check-in with yourself. Keep small intentional rituals such as a five minute morning meditation. Journal to insightful questions that guide you to strip away stories and reconnect with your inner voice. Practice asking yourself what your needs or preferences are.
2) Practice Compassion and Emotional Awareness
Self-trust is also built on being connected to and responsive to your emotions and creating inner safety. Speaking to relationships, Linda and Charlie Bloom write in Psychology Today that self-trust is “having the conviction that you will be kind and respectful to yourself regardless of the outcome of your efforts.”
Self-trust requires you can trust that you will not be self-punishing when making mistakes. If the inner critic is constantly blaming and berating you, you will not feel safe to experiment and learn. If you are caught at self-protection, you will be unable to examine your experience for new insights.
Yet integrating the wisdom learned through mistakes is part of building self-trust and growing. It’s hard to do that as a non-forgiving perfectionist.
When self-criticism is usurped by self-compassion—the ability to be as understanding, supportive and encouraging as you would to someone else you deeply care about—you are able to expand as a human and leader.
Apply: When feeling triggered, breathe and check in with yourself about what you need. Ignoring your needs corrodes self-trust. Practice allowing feelings to be felt and pass through you, while garnering insight they may offer.
Create a self-gratitude journal where you acknowledge what you appreciate about yourself, challenges you’ve taken on, decisions you’re proud of, wins and successes and ways you trust yourself.
3) Be In the Present
If you lack self-trust, you are caught in past ruptures of credibility or you are worrying about the future. Sometimes, you are simply looking at the entire mountain, instead of taking each step as it comes.
Either way, you are caught in stories and removing yourself from the potent present moment. And, you are displacing your personal power instead of stepping into it exactly where it is—in the here and now.
Regret, worry, or burning out to make it work can parade as certainty and be oddly comforting. We project a false guise of certainty backwards or forwards, even if it’s unwanted: I won’t follow through or I won’t succeed or if I don’t force, it won’t happen.
The familiar story may feel safer to a tightly wound nervous system than embracing uncertainty and trusting in the moment (and yourself) to guide you and give rise to the right decisions and right actions.
As the Blooms point out, the paradox is fear and worry do not exist in the present, so being in the present is the ultimate protection.
Apply: Serious question. Have you ever thought of building your tolerance levels for being in the present moment? Without distraction? What would it would mean for you?
4) Release External Validation
At some level, when you don’t trust yourself, you will feel like an imposter not just at work, but in life. So you will be caught in seeking external approval and validation.
Chronic reassurance-seeking outsources the emotional labor of fear and anxiety and is crippling to self-trust. According to Gravitas Founder, Lisa Sun, the self-sustaining confidence of knowing your worth is most common among women over 50 years old. Tempering the urge for external reassurance certainly plays into this.
The ability to intentionally examine various angles or perspectives of an issue is a gift. Chronic second-guessing is a nightmare. When you have self-compassion, you are more willing to embrace uncertainty and make decisions, because your worth is not on the line.
Apply: Before you turn to someone else for an opinion or advice, get quiet, and ask your own. You may wish to both write the question and answer yourself. You may be surprised how much wisdom you’re sitting on.
5) Honor Your Boundaries
As Paulo Coehlo wrote, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” Author Caroline Myss talks about how ‘boundaries’ emerged into our everyday social language as we began to recognize ourselves as not only physical but also energetic beings.
Boundaries matter because self-trust requires a ‘sense of self’ to trust, and a sense of self requires discernment. When you lack integrity, you can be pulled in any direction or towards any whim, regardless of whether it’s aligned or resonant to your own inner truth.
Boundaries are not to keep others out, but to keep you whole and integral. They reflect an inner valuing and authentic contract with self. Some people even create an inner boundary with their inner critic. Your boundaries discern between what resonates and nurtures your being and what does not.
Sure, you could commit to your boss, meet every deadline, and keep every promise you’ve made to your team. But let’s say you’re entirely misplaced in this area of work and burning yourself out to do it. Will you trust yourself? Well, you may trust yourself to betray yourself.
Keeping promises to others does not alone build self-trust, if the promises violate your inner knowing or are inauthentic to you. Real self-trust and organic boundaries come from being aware enough of what your inner truths and values are, and knowing that you will not betray them.
Apply: Identify where are you saying ‘yes’ when it’s truly a ‘no’ for you. What would ‘no’ feel like? Is there anywhere in life where you are violating your own boundaries?
6) Keep Your Word With Yourself
If you habitually break your word with yourself, how can you build self-trust? Lying to yourself, even in small ways, wreaks havoc within. When you don’t believe yourself, you don’t believe in yourself. But nothing builds self-trust faster than keeping your word with self.
Keeping promises with yourself means validating what matters to you and assigning this as much importance and priority as outside demands. When you meet the commitments you make with others, but always compromise the ones you made with yourself, you are sending your cells a message: you don’t matter.
If someone treats you like you’re not important to them, do you trust them? In order to rebuild self-trust, you need to treat your word with yourself at least as importantly as you do your word with others.
Identify what is really important to you, and be transparent with yourself about it. Show up consistently to yourself in small ways, and let it build, step by step, towards momentum, results, and more self-trust.
Apply: Listen in and clarify what is important to you. Where are you ignoring this? Where are you keeping your word with self and where are you bending it? Set reasonable and achievable commitments, treat them as real, and acknowledge when you fulfill them. Be realistic.
7) Take On Risk And Challenge
If you rarely take on new challenges, explore new expressions, or take yourself out of your comfort zone, you won’t have the experiences which build more self-trust.
One risk you can take to build self-trust is to speak up in a room where you’d normally hold back. Put your weight behind the value of your voice and your perspectives, rather than asking permission to.
Expanding into new skills is a way to build self-efficacy and increase a sense of personal competence. Through putting yourself into the valuable role of beginner in unfamiliar territory, you learn you are capable and adaptable to challenges and setbacks. You may discover gifts and capacities beyond the ones you knew.
Apply: Choose one thing you are already curious about and invest in growing in that area. Check the first challenge that comes to mind—is it truly out of your comfort zone? If you’re an adrenaline junkie, a marathon may not be the challenge. Yin yoga might be.
8) Practice Accountability
When you take accountability for your own perspectives, actions, behaviors, and outcomes, you build self-trust. Accountability is a sign that you trust yourself, because when you err, you do not collapse into shame or deflect responsibility. Rather, you see the moment as an opportunity to step even more into integrity.
Even more than to others, ownership demonstrates your credibility to yourself. Not only do you hold what happened differently, you feel and experience it differently, too.
You know you have grown when you can own your part in an undesirable outcome. Or when something that would have wilted you becomes an insight from which to learn. Equally, owning your part helps you to discern what is not yours to own or internalize.
Being accountable also means a willingness to see and honestly assess the reality in front of you. Because when you do this, you can move from a place of grounded empowerment. It means being honest even when it’s hard to, including with yourself.
Apply: Notice how taking accountability, and owning your part, has helped to liberate you and for you to grow. Where in life would you like to see more clearly and take more accountability? How can you start?
BONUS: Trust in Life
Self-trust is not hyper-independence and it’s also not being a control freak.
It’s trusting yourself enough to cultivate dynamics of interdependence, because you are able to extend that trust to others who have also earned it. Connection, collaboration, and co-creation depend on this. How we trust others (or don’t trust) reflects our self-image and how much we trust ourselves. If you required others to always do exactly as you wished, you would never trust them.
If you require yourself to flawlessly do exactly as you wished, you will likely never trust yourself. From models of understanding such as Human Design, not everyone is meant to work or create or make decisions the same. What makes us effective and what fulfills us expresses differently. Being curious about how we work helps us to build trust.
But it goes even further, if you require life to always be exactly as you wish it to be, you will not trust in life. Paradoxically, self-trust requires a willingness to surrender. When you trust in something greater than yourself, call it life or universal forces or the divine, not everything comes down to you and what you alone can control.
When you value yourself, humility breeds self-trust. And the more you are able to release your grip on the wheel, and be receptive to be guided by life, the more willing you may be to trust when you know your hands belong there.
By: Aimee Hansen is a long time writer and heart coach with theglasshammer.com. Her recent work includes “This Book is a Retreat” co-written with Marianne Richmond.
If you would like to work with Aimee or any of our coaches including Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder, please click HERE for a free, exploratory call with Nicki who can match you with the right coach for you (we have six coaches, all with different backgrounds who can help you depending on what you need).
Alexandra Barth: Co-Head of Leveraged Finance, Wells Fargo
People, Voices of ExperienceAfter more than two decades at Deutsche Bank, rising from analyst to group head and becoming a trusted voice in leveraged finance, Barth was ready to trade comfort for possibility. Wells Fargo offered not just a new role but a new environment, one defined by ambition, energy, and a leadership team committed to building something world-class. For Barth, it was the right moment to make a change.
Today, as co-Head of Leveraged Finance, Barth’s work centers on building a market-leading leveraged finance franchise inside a platform that is already well-known, well-capitalized, and hungry to grow. “The firm has assembled some of the best people in the market into an established franchise that’s looking to become a true market leader,” she says. “It’s as entrepreneurial as you can be inside an investment bank, and that combination is exciting.”
Barth is drawn in not only by the business potential at Wells Fargo, but the culture, one where senior leaders regularly roll up their sleeves, model curiosity, and make themselves accessible.
“The senior management here is committed to making this not just a world-class, top-tier investment bank, but also interactive…It’s an inspirational culture. It’s not just senior leaders dictating from above or only connecting with you when something is needed” After 26 years in the industry, Barth describes the culture simply: “It’s been reinvigorating to be here.”
Barth’s path into finance had unconventional beginnings: she majored in government with an art history minor at Dartmouth. Originally considering a legal career, early law internships changed her mind, and after taking her brother up on a suggestion to try a 2-year analyst position at an investment bank, gain great experience, and reassess after that, she ended up finding that banking was where she wanted to be. As an analyst, she discovered how much she loved the pace, the problem-solving, and the client work that became foundational to her career.
Words of Wisdom: Focus on the Client and Use Your Voice
Barth credits an early mentor for helping shape her leadership philosophy, setting two expectations that she still carries: always focus on the client, and always use your voice. “The priority was to really listen to the client—what they’re saying, what they need—and not just present what you think will sound good or what’s best for the bank,” she recalls.
Equally important was the expectation that even the most junior person should contribute. “If you’re in a meeting or on a call, even as a junior person, you should be using your voice and bringing something to the table that is thoughtful and adds value.”
It is a lesson Barth incorporates into building her team’s culture. She wants her team thinking critically, independently, and confidently, not just processing.
“Banking can be very process-oriented for junior people,” she notes. “We want a culture at Wells Fargo where you take time to think about what you’re working on, ask questions, understand why you’re doing it. If you’re on a client call or a senior-level committee call, you should be contributing.”
To strengthen that culture of inquiry, Barth brings in external speakers, including investors, economists, and credit strategists, to give the Leveraged Finance team space to stretch intellectually. “We want people thinking critically,” she explains. “If something about a company or a credit doesn’t make sense, or you have a question, be proactive and ask.”
Even the physical layout of the office reinforces this ethos.
“It’s intentionally non-hierarchical. Analysts and associates sit around me. I have a managing director and a second-year analyst next to each other. People walk up and talk to whoever they need to. It’s very interactive, and I think that makes a difference.”
Honesty, Transparency, and Directness Fosters Client Trust
Barth’s track record with clients, often spanning decades and tens of billions in capital raised, rests on a simple principle: honesty.
“Being honest with clients about what you think is the best answer or solution for them—even when it isn’t necessarily most advantageous for you or your firm—has been core to my career.”
Barth’s approach is both candid and relentless. “You have to ask to lead things and be direct. Most importantly, you have to show why you deserve to win,” she explains. That means being deeply knowledgeable about the market, offering creative structures, and making clear that she and her team will be tireless advocates for clients.
Barth knows the business is complicated, and mistakes happen. What matters, she says, is how you handle them.
“The first thing you do after a mistake is what matters most. How you manage it, how you communicate, and how you teach your team to navigate it.”
Clients respond to her consistency and her clarity. Barth earns trust at the CEO and CFO level not because she tells them what they want to hear, but because she tells them what she believes is achievable and then delivers the results.
“I think the ability to back up what I say with the outcome has been one of the biggest drivers of my success,” she says. “That relationship of trust is what matters most.”
Building a Market-Leading Franchise and a Lasting Legacy
Barth sees extraordinary potential at Wells Fargo. “I think in almost every product in investment banking, Wells can be a market leader,” she says. Her goal is straightforward: to help build a platform that is viewed as a top five investment bank, across products and across markets.
As much of a priority is the experience of the people on her team. Whether they stay in leveraged finance long-term or go on to other roles, Barth wants their time on her team and at Wells Fargo to be meaningful. “At my prior firm, I’m still in touch with many of the former junior people, and they tell me their experience was a pillar of their success,” she says. “That’s what I want to create here.”
A Working Mother Who Still Makes Room for Art
Balancing a demanding role with family is no small undertaking, but Barth credits her career with teaching her how to prioritize.
“In banking, you always have ten things happening at once that you can’t possibly do at the same time. You learn to prioritize what’s most important and give it your full attention.”
Outside work, she reconnects with the passion she discovered years ago as an art history student, visiting museums whenever she can in New York and beyond while bringing her eight- and eleven-year-old children with her. “I try to teach them as much as I can about art and art history,” she says, a reminder that even amid a full career, there’s always room to nurture curiosity and creativity.
Barth aims to create that same sense of value and possibility for her team.
“I grew up in a group where every voice mattered, even junior analysts’. Now, after 26 years, that’s exactly the culture I want to create, where the smartest person on the team, no matter their title, feels empowered to speak up and knows their perspective is valued.”
By Jessica Robaire
Words of Wisdom from Women in Leadership 2025 (Part 2)
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!These insights paint a picture of leadership that is grounded, human, and deeply personal. And as we share their perspectives, we also look ahead to how coaching can support leaders in living these principles more fully and navigating their careers with clarity and confidence.
On Being Yourself – Truly:
“I wasn’t out in the first decade of my career at the NFL…Everyone always says, ‘Be yourself,’ but that’s easy when you look and act like the default person at an organization,” she reflects. “It’s a lot more challenging when you are a member of the gay community, or the Black community, or the Latinx community…when I felt confident enough to make the change to come out and be myself unapologetically, I started to thrive.”
Sam Rappaport, CEO Blue80
On Being Bold and Owning What Makes You Unique:
“There’s a big real estate conference I go to every year,” she says. “You queue to board the flight, and it’s just a sea of men in navy suits. I make a point of wearing something bright and own the fact that I’m not the guy in the navy suit. I’m the woman in the bright red dress. It’s an opportunity to be seen.”
She emphasizes, “Being different can make you more memorable. It’s not just about gender. You might be younger, newer, or from a different background. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to be visible. Have confidence and own it.”
Nicola Free: Managing Director, Head of CRE, EMEA, Wells Fargo
On Fostering Growth Over Competition:
“My Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach always says he never hides the best parts of his game because if someone can master it in two weeks and beat him, they deserve to win.” The same philosophy, she says, applies in leadership. “Helping my associate grow, bringing her along and giving her what I can to help her succeed doesn’t threaten me; it strengthens the team, and if I ever move on, she’s ready to step in.”
Marie Bober: Chief Compliance Officer and Senior Counsel, Moelis Asset Management
On Redefining Success:
“Your career is not a ladder, it’s a landscape. Don’t be afraid to move sideways, take a leap, or build something of your own and test a hypothesis. Solving a big problem is where the real growth lies. If you opt to build a hobby business that’s fine too. Just define what success means to you.”
Sally J. Clarke: Entrepreneur and Author
On Leading Collaboratively:
“I used to wait until every idea was perfect. Now, I bring it to the table early. It invites feedback and makes the work better.”
Heather Plumski: President, Stearns Bank
On Leaning on Your Values to Navigate Challenges:
“In facing challenges or change, I always go back to the questions: Am I in the right place? Am I surrounded by the right people? Am I learning? Am I growing? When you can identify core tenets to return to and hold yourself to them, they become a guide for navigating almost anything.”
Johanna Diaz: Global Head of Alternatives Product Strategy, Goldman Sachs
On the Importance of Building Community:
“I’ve moved and started over several times. Managing those transitions successfully is only possible when you make community, when you connect with people, when you find affinity and appreciate differences. The differences are where you learn.”
Angela Cruz: Sales Effectiveness Leader, Sales Excellence, Accenture
On Effective Communication in All Directions:
“With my team that means ensuring they understand the vision, are aligned around the priorities and the mission, and are inspired to do their best work to deliver for our clients. To do that, I spend a lot of time with the team individually and in groups.”
In communicating up and out to executives, regulators, and the board, Young explains, “It’s about taking the complex and making it simple, understanding your audience, and tailoring your message with the right level of detail.”
Nicole Young: Head of CRE Portfolio Management, Wells Fargo
On Building Teams Through Talent:
“High-performing teams are not built by accident; they come from spotting potential others might overlook and giving people the chance to prove themselves. One of my best hires did not meet the checklist on paper, but I knew she had what it would take. She went on to become a star. As Steve Jobs once said, it does not make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do. My role is to create the conditions for their talent to shine.”
Deborah Overdeput: Chief Operating Officer, Innovative Systems (FinScan, Enlighten, PostLocate)
Moving Into 2026 With Intention
The experiences shared in this collection show how leadership grows when you are willing to know yourself, trust your values, and stay open to learning. Whether you are choosing to be seen, strengthening communication, empowering talent, or building community, these moments of growth rarely happen by accident. They come from intention and support.
Executive coaching provides a dedicated space to strengthen these muscles. Research shows that coaching enhances emotional intelligence, builds communication agility, and helps leaders make more grounded, aligned decisions. A coach helps you explore what matters most, see patterns you may overlook, and translate your aspirations into meaningful action.
As the year comes to a close and you prepare to enter 2026, this is an ideal moment to pause and consider where you want to focus your energy next. If these stories sparked recognition or inspired a shift in how you see your own leadership, take that as encouragement to invest in yourself. An executive coach can help you clarify your direction, accelerate your development, and step into the new year with confidence and purpose.
Book your free exploratory coaching session today and begin 2026 with intention and momentum.
Q&A with Monica Marquez: Co-Founder of FlipWork, Workforce Reinvention Strategist, and widely known as the MacGyver for Agentic-Human Reinvention
Intrepid Women Series, PeopleA “MacGyver for Agentic-Human Reinvention,” Marquez does not shy away from disruption – she wholeheartedly embraces it. Previously profiled in 2021, she spoke with theglasshammer.com on the next chapter in her journey of pioneering change, as she dives into the evolving intersection of human potential and artificial intelligence.
Q: Tell us more about what you’re working on now and how your new venture, Flip Work, is helping organizations navigate this era of rapid change.
At its core, Flip Work helps organizations achieve measurable ROI from AI by focusing on human adoption. According to a 2025 MIT report, 95% of AI pilots have failed, not because of the technology itself, but because people aren’t adopting it, reinventing workflows, or using it to augment their work.
Many companies implement AI without a real plan for how people will use it. The question becomes, how do you help people shift their identities to see themselves differently in the way that they work, and in the way that they must reinvent themselves in the AI era? Because the reality is, AI is changing work faster than people can adapt.
This widening gap is what we define at FlipWork as the Exponential Divide, the moment when technology evolves faster than people can change how they work.
That has been our focus, and we’ve built a human and agentic system that helps people reinvent the way that they work, from a three-pronged approach. First, we help people reinvent themselves from a behavioral and a mindset perspective with the support of FlippyAI, which acts as a daily AI coach and change agent. Second, we reinvent workflows through Flip Lab, our 90-day reinvention sprint. Third, we reinvent workforce tools through Flip Factory, where agentic automations bring redesigned workflows to life. With AI, disruption is constant. The goal is to help people become agile and comfortable with that reality, to leverage it rather than resist it. This is how individuals become People², exponentially capable professionals who evolve at the pace of technology. That’s what Flip Work is all about.
Q: The work you’re describing sounds very much rooted in organizational development, guiding people through behavioral and mindset change. Would you say that’s part of your approach?
Yes, definitely, it’s change management, but traditional change management is no longer enough. When companies are thinking about AI adoption, they think that if they buy all the tools and give them to employees, that will be enough, but no one is really helping the people change and leverage the tools.
Recently I was at a conference talking to senior leaders at Microsoft and they told me that despite rolling out Copilot across their entire professional population, adoption is only 47%. That means that more than half of people aren’t using the tools, often because they’re waiting for permission or guidance from leadership. The impact of that is that people are going to get left behind.
Everybody is fearing that AI is going to replace jobs. The reality is that yes, it will, but we always reinvent ourselves. If we look at the past, think the dot-com era, digital cash registers, or similar technological shifts, people often said, “This is going to displace jobs.” And yes, some roles change, but people reskill and find new ways to contribute. At the end of the day, human discernment, creativity, empathy, and expertise remain essential. Our lived experience still matters in ensuring that outputs are accurate, meaningful, and impactful.
It’s about helping people reinvent themselves, recognizing what your zone of genius is, and how you augment or amplify your zone of genius with AI, and delegate the things that you don’t like to do, so that you can focus on your genius zone. This is the identity-first reinvention that FlipWork is built around.
Q: This is obviously a very exciting moment and project. What brought you here?
As a leader, I’ve always been curious and an early adopter, a pioneer. An example of that is when I was at Goldman Sachs, back in 2008, I spearheaded the Returnship Program. Later, I co-founded Beyond Barriers to accelerate career advancement for women and underrepresented talent. My mindset is always you have to disrupt yourself before you get disrupted. I’ve always operated like a MacGyver, finding resourceful ways to reinvent how work gets done. AI fits in with that because I’m very comfortable with disruption.
When I had colleagues, some of whom are now CHROs at major companies, coming to me and saying, “Our company is adopting all this AI, but I don’t even know how to leverage it. How do we roll out AI adoption for our people?” I started to see a real gap in the marketplace. It’s not just about using the tools; it’s about shifting mindsets. Many people think AI is only for coders or tech experts, and they feel it’s not for them. The truth is, you don’t have to understand how AI works; you just need to know how to use it to do your work better.
Q: What would you tell a digital native, then, entering the space in this exciting world of AI?
Digital natives may have an easier time embracing new tools, but I would be careful that it doesn’t cause creativity and diversity of thought to become lazy. Even though you’re a digital native and you may be an early adopter, you must continuously make sure that what you’re practicing doesn’t lead to intellectual atrophy, making the technology smarter and the humans less smart.
For example, you shouldn’t just be taking the output that ChatGPT or another AI tool gives you and putting it out there without utilizing your own expertise, judgement, and discernment.
One way to think about AI is as your “Artificial Intern.” You wouldn’t give an intern a task and then pass their work along to the higher-ups without checking it first. The same applies to AI. You have to coach it, refine it, review its work, and ensure what it produces reflects your expertise. You wouldn’t pass along unedited intern work to an executive, and the same rules apply with AI.
Q: You’ve long been an advocate for Latina representation in leadership and tech. As a board member for Latinas in Tech and the Association for Latino Professionals in America, how are you helping the next generation of Latino leaders prepare for this new era of work?
Supporting Latinos, Latinas, and other marginalized groups has always been a huge passion of mine, helping them accelerate their careers and expand beyond the limits of their cultural upbringing and conditioned beliefs.
What we’re finding now, though, is that some of the fear around the digital divide is widening. I was at the ALPFA conference over the summer, where we soft-launched Flip the Script, a program designed to help people start thinking about how to adopt AI. The feedback I heard was interesting in that many participants told me, “I’ve always been taught I have to work twice as hard to get half as far. If AI helps me do something in 30 minutes that used to take three days, what does that say about my worth?”
That mindset runs deep, the belief that effort and hard work equal success. But in this new era, we help people rewrite the script to say that impact equals success. AI amplifies your value; it does not diminish it. If you can use AI to achieve more in less time, you’re amplifying your impact, not diminishing your value.
For many, especially those from cultures where perseverance and grit are tied to identity, this shift is difficult. I’ve coached young Latino professionals who feel like using AI is “cheating.” They’re hesitant to embrace it because it challenges their definition of what it means to earn success.
So part of my work now is helping people rewire those conditioned beliefs—whether they’re cultural, societal, or organizational—and help people recognize that their true value lies in their expertise, discernment, empathy, and creativity, the exact human strengths that AI amplifies inside the People² model.
Interviewed by Nicki Gilmour, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com
Radical Self-Trust: The Work Relationship No One Talks About (Pt. 1)
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!It’s an axiom for a reason. The most important relationship is the one you build with yourself, and the relationship you wish to build with others begins with you.
Trust is Relational and Earned
Let’s talk relationship dynamics. Within the organism of any organization, trust is the precursor and basis of a functioning team. When trust is absent, the team cannot effectively resolve conflict, foster commitment, create accountability, or develop and deliver to its capacity.
Well, the same is true with yourself. Without a basis of self-trust, how can you confront decisions where you feel internally divided, authentically commit, be accountable, develop, or reach your goals?
Trust is also at the crux of any close, enduring relationship. Trust is not owed to another—it is earned. Trust is relational, and self-trust is a fundamental reflection of the quality of relationship you have with yourself.
If there are real gaps, and you are a self-aware person, you will know and feel it—even if you avoid knowing that you know. These gaps create leaks in self-trust. They dilute your sense of self and integrity.
Self-trust comes from living in alignment with your truths and values, and being able to admit, and even amend, where you fall out of alignment.
The Self-Trust and Confidence Loop
According to Stephen M. R. Covey, self-trust is finding yourself credible. The four cores of credibility are comprised of:
Character (who you are):
Competence (what you do):
As you build self-trust, it gives rise to a feeling of self-assurance and authentic confidence, based on a grounded experience of yourself that is greater than dips in motivation and emotional fluctuations. On a shaky day, you know you’re strong at the roots.
When your act with intent, leverage your capabilities, and follow through, you accumulate self-trust and generate confidence.
The loop then reinforces itself. The behaviors that build self-trust contribute to a feeling of confidence which gives you the courage to take more actions (such as trying new things, taking on challenges and making commitments) that lead to greater self-trust.
Six Types of Relational Trust—With Yourself?
In healthy relationships, there are six different kinds of trust that can be nurtured. One category is about self-trust. But what if you treated each as important to your relationship with self? Let’s adapt them and see.
1) Emotional trust – to allow vulnerability, show up to feelings with empathy rather than judgement, and to foster deeper connection.
2) Instrumental trust – to consistently show up, follow through on commitments, and keep promises.
3) Informational trust – to be able to be truthful, transparent, clear, and honest with yourself
4) Self-trust – to honor your worth, trust your judgement and intuition, and to show up to challenges
5) Situational trust – to be able to trust and rely on self in particular contexts, based on strengths and knowledge in that space
6) Physical trust – to feel safe in your own presence, knowing you will respect and protect your own health and safety
It’s the one relationship you’ve been in since the moment you became aware of yourself, so it’s a good question to ask: do I have a relationship of trust with myself, and how can I improve that relationship?
And if you are willing, you may find the same is true as in any relationship. Growth requires a willingness to have the real, and sometimes challenging, conversations with yourself.
But if you do, integrity becomes its own reward.
By: Aimee Hansen is a long time writer and heart coach with theglasshammer.com. Her recent work includes “This Book is a Retreat” co-written with Marianne Richmond.
If you would like to work with Aimee or any of our coaches including Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder, please click HERE for a free, exploratory call with Nicki who can match you with the right coach for you (we have six coaches, all with different backgrounds who can help you depending on what you need).
The Capacity Equation: How High-Performing Women Sustain Energy and Clarity
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!Female leaders are disproportionately at risk for burnout due to both visible and invisible labor (balancing intense workloads with emotional awareness, organizational care, familial responsibilities, and relationships). According to Deloitte’s survey Women @ Work: A Global Outlook, more than half of women in leadership roles report feeling burned out and for many, their stress levels are increasingly growing. The message is glaringly obvious that time management is no longer enough. Sustainable performance and success requires a new approach: energy intelligence.
Rethinking the Capacity Equation
Capacity can be thought of as the dynamic relationship between what fuels and what depletes. While time is finite and we cannot create more of it, capacity is expandable, but only with intention. When leaders continuously expend more than they replenish, they move into cognitive fatigue, emotional depletion, and eventually, diminished impact.
Neuroscience has long shown that chronic stress impairs access to the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for focus, empathy, and decision-making. When leaders operate in constant overdrive, they are quite literally functioning with less of their brain available. In a chronically stressed-out state of being, loss of resilience and cognitive rigidity are symptoms that may arise in response to the mental overload. The cost isn’t just personal, it ripples into the culture of teams and organizations because it derails your capacity to show up as your best self.
The Myth of Infinite Output
In our societal constructs, the path to success has been built on proving worth and value through unrelenting output. Yet this model is not sustainable and no longer necessary. The most effective leaders today aren’t those who give endlessly, but those who replenish strategically.
High-performing women who learn to manage their capacity shift from running on adrenaline and overcommitting to leading from alignment. They understand that clarity, creativity, and calm are not luxuries; they’re the foundation for performance that lasts let alone their own fulfillment.
Three Shifts to Expand Capacity
1. Move from time management to energy stewardship.
Traditional productivity frameworks focus on optimizing hours and hacks. But energy is made up of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being, and it’s what determines the quality of those hours. As Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy argue in Harvard Business Review’s “Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time”, sustained performance comes from rhythmic renewal, not relentless effort. Intentionality is critical when it comes to designing each day around energetic pulls (demands on your energy) and extends (where you choose to give your energy).
Energy stewardship starts with awareness. We can regularly ask: Which activities energize me? Which consistently drain me? The answers reveal where to realign work, connections, and personal times toward what fuels vitality and effectiveness. Over time, prioritizing high-energy activities, such as creative endeavors, mentoring, and strategic thinking, creates greater output with less depletion.
2. Replace routines with intentional rituals.
Routines are autopilot behaviors done to check a box; rituals are conscious choices done to refuel. When leaders infuse intention into daily transitions like beginning the day, entering meetings, or closing the laptop, they create micro-moments of renewal.
Small rituals, like three deep breaths before a presentation, brewing coffee or tea in the present moment without a phone in hand, or a five-minute gratitude practice at the end of the day, reset the nervous system and sharpen focus. Rather than look at intentional pauses as inefficiencies where we could be doing something else, we need to see them as self-leadership strategies and energetic hygiene. They enable leaders to meet the next challenge with more presence and grounding instead of reactivity.
3. Shift from proving to preserving.
The instinct to prove competence, reliability, or capability is deeply ingrained, especially among women who’ve navigated demanding environments. Cultivating influence is about preservation through protecting the clarity, energy, and perspective that empowers leaders to operate at their highest level.
Preserving energy is not a retreat from ambition; it’s how ambition endures through inner alignment. Leaders who set boundaries, delegate strategically, and integrate rest model sustainable success for their teams. They demonstrate that resilience isn’t built in exhaustion, rather it’s built in recovery.
The New Leadership Power
Sustainable leadership is not about doing less, slowing down, or being less ambitious. Instead it’s about leading differently, and redefining power as the ability to remain centered, clear, and effective under pressure. When women leaders learn to manage their capacity, they not only elevate their own performance but also set a new cultural standard that well-being and excellence are not competing values.
The next era of leadership will not be defined by who can push the hardest, but by who can sustain the longest. Energy stewardship is not a personal wellness tactic, it’s a professional strategy and alignment is the future of leadership.
By: Erin Coupe is the author of I Can Fit That In and host of the podcast with the same name.
(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)
Words of Wisdom from Women in Leadership 2025 (Part 1)
PeopleWords of Wisdom 2025 brings their insights together in this first installment, with Part 2 coming in future weeks. As we reflect on their stories, we will also explore how coaching can help leaders deepen these practices and accelerate their development. We are grateful for the candor and generosity each woman offered. Their voices continue to illuminate what intentional, authentic leadership looks like and the possibilities that open when we stay curious and committed to our own evolution.
On why networking matters
“In each stage of my career I’ve heeded the advice to build my personal board. It’s thinking about who are the five or six people to go to for very critical decisions? Why are they on your board? Why do they keep a seat on your board, or do you rotate them? They can be a mix of mentors, sponsors, or just people whose opinions you trust.”
Alexandra Wilson-Elizondo: Partner, Co-Chief Investment Officer of Multi-Asset Solutions (MAS), Goldman Sachs Asset Management
On leadership styles evolving
“As I moved higher in my career, I recognized the value of awareness and empathy, understanding different perspectives, styles, and what motivates the current workforce as it’s different from when I was a young professional.”
Today, her leadership prioritizes open communication and constructive feedback. “I have been focused on rebalancing my ‘get things done’ upbringing with understanding how people receive and digest information, and how they can grow.”
Daniela Shapiro: Senior Managing Director, HASI
On embracing change
“I’m not someone who loves change,” confesses Burger. “But one of the best pieces of advice I got—and now share—is to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Challenges can be scary because inevitably they involve change, but it leads to growth. It’s about taking calculated risks and being okay with change when you know it can lead to something better.”
Julie Burger: Co-Head of Public Finance, Wells Fargo
On finding strength in uniqueness through executive coaching
“I focused on how I could be more structured, more powerful, more impactful—so that my French accent became a strength. The firm provided me with a coach who helped me work on my communication and presentation style, which really made a difference. I also found having an external perspective, someone who listens and helps you understand how others hear you, to be invaluable.”
Pamela Codo-Lotti: Partner, Global Chief Operating Officer of Shareholder Activism Defense, Goldman Sachs
On the value of EQ in navigating client relationships
“Working with clients across industries and influencing multiple stakeholders requires emotional intelligence. Every corporation has a different culture, every CFO has a different way they like to be engaged. Understanding that and adapting your approach is critical.”
Alex Douklias: Vice Chair, Corporate Banking, Wells Fargo Corporate & Investment Banking
On building teams with diverse viewpoints and approaches
Marsland recalls a former manager who exclusively hired people with identical approaches. “You end up with a team that lacks diversity in thinking. I don’t think that’s great for business.”
“I want different perspectives, different strengths. One person might be great at presentations; another might excel in negotiations. As long as the job gets done, I don’t need everyone to work the same way.”
Jennifer Marsland: Head of Sales, North America, World Travel Protection
On not losing sight of the bigger picture
“It’s important to remember that your career and your job are two different things. Whether you are happy in your current job or not, you always want to think about your broader career trajectory outside of the present position…Keep up with LinkedIn and go to networking events. Don’t get so heads-down focused on being successful in your current job that you don’t also build connections outside in industry and peer groups.”
Christine McIntyre: Chief Financial Officer, Raftelis
On the impact of a coaching mindset
“My training as a coach has impacted me in foundational ways. That includes not letting fear drive decision making, because in coaching you learn how to look at the worst-case scenario and explore questions like, ‘how bad can it really be? What if that happens? What can you do about it?’ That mindset has impacted my ability to adapt and flex and pivot.”
Natalie Runyon: Content Strategist for ESG, Human Rights Crimes and AI in Courts, Thomson Reuters
On navigating a crossroads when confidence falters
“Firstly, ask this. What was the best moment in the last 12 to 24 months of your life? Often we are so focused on the summit, we don’t look back to see how much ground we’ve covered. So I ask people to find the best moment – personal and professional – and double-click into that moment to ask what you did to make that moment a reality. It did not happen by luck or chance. It was your strengths and talents that made it happen.”
Lisa Sun, Gravitas Founder & CEO & Best-Selling Author
How Coaching Can Accelerate This Wisdom
What ties all these insights together is the active work of becoming. Growth requires intention, perspective, and the willingness to look honestly at how we show up. That is where executive coaching becomes a powerful accelerator. Research consistently shows that coaching strengthens emotional intelligence, improves decision-making, and helps leaders translate insight into sustained behavioral change.
A coach helps you do exactly what these leaders describe: examine how you communicate, challenge unhelpful assumptions, reconnect with your strengths, and navigate uncertainty with more confidence. Coaching provides the structured space that busy professionals rarely give themselves, especially at this time of year, when reflection and recalibration naturally come into focus.
As we close out 2025 and prepare to step into 2026, consider how you want to lead in the year ahead. If this collection sparked recognition or reminded you of the leader you aim to be, take it as an invitation to act. Seek out an executive coach who can help you deepen these practices, expand your impact, and enter the new year with clarity, purpose, and intention.
Book your session today and start 2026 with intentional growth.
Op-Ed: What Muay Thai Teaches About Leadership and Resilience
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!Here are eight lessons I learnt from studying Muay Thai that apply to business.
1. Be conscious of your body language
Shattered after a gruelling few months running a financial technology software company, I decided to take a short break to train in Thailand. On the first morning, I was sitting on the side of the boxing ring at 7 a.m. at Rawai Muay Thai waiting for my class to start, stressing about next week’s meeting with my co-founders, which promised to be unpleasant.
The sun had already reached 38 degrees and I was the first student in the gym. One of the trainers was walking past when he abruptly stopped. He looked at me and said, “Better go home.” Taken aback, I challenged, “Why?” Putting his hands on my shoulders, he pushed me bolt upright, took my hands out of my lap where they were knotted together and lifted my chin. “Your body tells me, you can’t fight” he replied. “It looks small and weak. Think strong and you will be. If you can’t do that, better go to the beach.”
2. You must be resilient
Muay Thai training is gruelling. Not just the because of the physical aspects but mentally you have to be prepared. All Muay Thai trainers will tell you they can teach a student to have a perfect roundhouse kick, an incredible knee strike, but not courage or “heart”. You have to want to win and believe you can. Fighters that do not have heart may win the first or even the third round, but they are not going to last the distance. You can be smaller than your opponent but your spirit is everything. In fact it’s one with real physical consequences. Fighters lose eyes, suffer head injuries.
No matter how difficult a situation is at work, there are not going to be any physical dangers. No-one is going to knock you out. Turn up to your career like you would a Muay Thai fighter, with heart. If you can’t then perhaps question whether the career you have chosen to succeed in is right for you.
3. There are no short cuts. You have to prepare. You have to practice
Practice, practice, practice. How Muay Thai fighters physiologically approach every session, every exercise – in fact, everything they do – impacts their ability to perform technical skills under stress. They are keyed into what motivates them and drives them forward. Being fully prepared alleviates stress. If you know you have done your best, and have sought feedback from your colleagues and mentors, then there is every reason to believe you are going to succeed.
4. Walk away when you need to
Muay Thai fighters do not win by themselves. Boxing is a team sport and the best trainers love to share their knowledge. They want you to succeed and be the best version of yourself. You need to put the work in and show commitment. Learning Muay Thai is a two-way street, you can’t show up expecting to learn without putting in the effort. If you find yourself at a Muay Thai gym where the trainers are pushing you hard for private classes or on their mobile phones during sessions, walk away. Instantly. You are wasting your time. If you have co-founders who do not share your values, who shirk responsibilities and lie, cut a deal and move on. Muay Thai demands you make decisive decisions fast.
5. Control your emotions
Before entering a ring, Muay Thai fighters still their minds. They are calm. Think about how you would picture the gaze of a Monk, emerging from a mediative state. Envisage how peaceful and free of worry his eyes are. In Thailand, I had the honour of removing Kru Wah’s Mongkhon – a headpiece worn by Thai boxers while performing the pre-fight performance dance. Traditionally, these headpieces are still blessed by a monk and believed to possess special powers to protect and bring good luck to their wearer.
When saying positive words for the battle ahead, I was struck by Kru Wah’s relaxed demeanour. It was as if he had already won and was getting ready for bed after a good meal. Kru Wah’s fight was beautiful to watch. He executed each strike fast and effectively whilst maintaining his prima ballerina assoluta sense of balance. He was precise and exact regardless of the pressure being applied by his opponent.
When making a point or in tense situations, remain calm and take time to observe the body language and micro expressions of the people around you. That way you can better adjust to your audiences’ comments and insights. Have faith in the meeting strategy you have worked on with your colleagues and mentors and you’ll be sure to win the day.
6. Be grateful and give back
Mongkunpet was a young girl when I first met her in 2016. She had already fought 30 amateur boxing matches. At that time she was around 30 kilos. An exceptional athlete, Monkunpet has gone on to win national championship belts. During a fight in Phuket, she badly hurt her foot, breaking several toes. Somehow, she fought through the pain and won the match. The next day she limped into the training arena; formally bowed to each of the 12 teachers in gratitude, and limped out again. If a young girl can do this to thank her teachers, we should be able to find time to show appreciation to the mentors and teachers who selfishly helped us achieve goals. We should make a commitment to have mentees ourselves.
7. Choose a strategy that works for you
Once a Muay Thai boxer has successfully won a number of fights, their trainer will decide which fighting style best suits the student’s temperament. For example, Muay Femur fighters are best known for their high fight I.Q., patience and the ability to move between various styles of execution as needed. They are phenomenal at counterattacks. In contrast, a Muay Mat fighting style involves adopting a forward-moving aggressive approach and deploying explosive punching combinations to ultimately knockout their opponents.
Similarly, in business, you need to think about which competitive strategy works best for you. Are you a deeper thinker who prefers not to rush in, or more on the front foot when it comes to pushing forward your narrative… or neither of the two? Give thought to the type of company culture where you can excel wherever you are on your career journey.
8. Focus
You have to be 100 per cent present in Muay Thai training. It is not like a spin class where you can ponder over your lunch choices. When you have a hectic lifestyle, pressures at work or with juggling family commitments can accumulate and cause stress. Just training a couple of hours a week will make a difference. Because your mind will be at rest from thinking about other people or situations. Learning to focus completely is a terrific way of giving your mind a break.
Sally Clarke at her Muay Thai training gym
By: Sally J Clarke is a senior leader in the technology and art sectors. She has received prestigious awards and been invited to contribute to industry initiatives such as: Amazon Web Services Female Founders, (2022/2023), the La Salle College of the Arts Incubator Fund Award (2014), British Tech Advisory and the SunGard (now FIS) CEO Award. Sally frequently share insights on leadership, innovation, and the power of creativity. Her debut novel Ringside Gamble is available on Amazon and all good book stores.
Deborah Overdeput: Chief Operating Officer, Innovative Systems (FinScan, Enlighten, PostLocate)
People, Voices of ExperienceThat moment of independence was not just a career milestone, but a shift in how she saw herself as a leader: someone who thrives on curiosity, creates clarity where there is none, and knows when it is time to pivot.
From Rocket Science to Market Growth
Overdeput began her career as a rocket scientist, trained in space station computing and fault-tolerant systems. Yet, when she relocated to Belgium for an engineering role at Swift, she felt restless. “I realized I really liked talking about what we were doing rather than actually building it. Once I got bit by that bug, I knew I had to transition into marketing.”
With no formal background in marketing, Overdeput made a bold decision: she would become a Chief Marketing Officer in technology. That goal guided every step she took, from mastering the fast-changing dynamics of marketing to taking lateral moves and pushing herself into stretch roles that expanded her skills and influence. At SunGard, her determination paid off as she advanced from marketing a single product line to overseeing more than 40. Later, at Sapient, she led the repositioning of a 250-million-dollar business unit and helped drive it to more than 500 million dollars in under five years.
What she took away from those years was simple: strategy only works if it is rooted in reality. “If you do not understand how products work, how teams operate, and what customers actually need, it is hard to make the right choices. I have always believed strong leadership starts with really knowing what is happening on the ground.”
Creating Clarity in Uncertain Times
Overdeput believes leadership matters most when circumstances are ambiguous. “You do not need leadership when everything is well defined. You need leadership when the path is unclear and the pressure is high. My role has always been to take that uncertainty, translate it into strategy, and help others see the way forward.”
That principle carries into her role today as COO at Innovative Systems, where she leads global product management, marketing, operations, and human resources. “My focus is on enabling human potential by aligning talent, strategy, and resources so that even in shifting markets, our people can do their best work and deliver meaningful impact for our clients.”
Innovative Systems is also known for building long-term relationships with clients, some spanning decades. Overdeput emphasizes that trust is both a differentiator and a responsibility. “Our clients count on us not just for technology, but for partnership. Delivering on that promise, year after year, is what keeps us relevant and resilient in a shifting compliance landscape.”
Lessons in Confidence and Voice
Before her COO role at Innovative Systems, Overdeput built a successful consultancy as a fractional Chief Marketing Officer. Working with a range of technology and financial services clients, she discovered a new level of confidence in her own capabilities. The experience affirmed her expertise and sharpened her ability to deliver high-impact results across different businesses and industries.
She also discovered her voice had changed. “Earlier in my career, as a woman inside large companies, I often found my ideas ignored until repeated by a man. Over time, I learned to strengthen my voice, to claim my authority. Today, people stop and listen not just because of my title, but because they know I speak with conviction and experience.”
That conviction shapes her leadership style today. “I try to listen more and advocate for voices within the company. Leadership is not about being the loudest person in the room. It is about making sure the right voices are heard.”
The Power of Networks and Mentorship
For Overdeput, networks and mentorship are essential leadership tools. She has mentored University of New Hampshire students since 2009, often those with math or computer science backgrounds like her own. “I tell them, start early. Build your network, get on LinkedIn, connect with your peers. Those relationships are career changing.”
Mentorship, she says, has shaped her as much as her mentees. “Working with students helps me see how the next generation thinks, what motivates them, and how they want to grow. That perspective is essential for any leader who wants to build teams that are not only high-performing today but also ready for tomorrow.”
It is also what inspired her latest project: Walk Away, a book she is co-authoring with Sally Clarke. “The book brings together stories of women who reached pivotal moments and chose to leave situations that no longer aligned with their values or ambitions. Hearing these stories has been like sitting with different mentors. Each one has helped me rethink the situations I face in my own career and the challenges my mentees bring to me. One of the women said, ‘Walking away was the boldest form of leadership I have ever practiced.’ That stayed with me, because leadership is often about knowing when to stay the course, and when the braver choice is to step into something new.”
Building Teams Through Talent
For Overdeput, the heart of leadership lies in building strong teams. “High-performing teams are not built by accident; they come from spotting potential others might overlook and giving people the chance to prove themselves. One of my best hires did not meet the checklist on paper, but I knew she had what it would take. She went on to become a star. As Steve Jobs once said, it does not make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do. My role is to create the conditions for their talent to shine.”
Her approach is less about rigid processes and more about creating conditions for people to thrive. Weekly check-ins, open conversations, and celebrating wins keep teams connected and aligned to a bigger purpose. “One of the most rewarding experiences is when a team pulls together to deliver something bigger than any one individual could achieve. I make it a point to celebrate those moments, because they remind me that leadership is not about one person’s actions, but about creating the environment where everyone’s contributions matter.”
Leading With Intuition and Humanity
Her leadership philosophy is also shaped by yoga and meditation, which she has practiced for more than 30 years. “Yoga taught me how to breathe through stress and build core strength, not only physically but also in the way I show up as a leader. Meditation taught me to quiet the noise, to see the world beyond my own ego, and to stay present for others. Together, they remind me it is not about me, it is about enabling others. Maya Angelou captured it best: people will forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. That truth stays with me, because I have seen it reflected back in the people I have supported, watching their success become part of my own impact.”
And from her mother, she learned the value of having a cheerleader in your corner. “She showed me that sometimes what you need most is someone who believes in you, no matter the obstacles. That is the kind of leader I try to be for others.”
Looking Ahead
Asked what drives her today, Overdeput points to impact. “I want to look back and know I left a stamp, that I built teams, grew businesses, and created opportunities for others to succeed. For me, leadership is about enabling human potential in ways that last, so the people and organizations I have touched continue to thrive long after I have moved on.”
That philosophy ties her trajectory from rocket science to COO together. As she puts it: “Great leadership means building great products, growing great people, and creating clarity in a complex world.”
From Anxiety to Impact: Rethinking Networking
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!Start with Shared Ground
The easiest way to overcome networking anxiety is to say YES. If you’re invited to an event with a networking component, you already have something in common with everyone in the room—you all chose to be there. That shared context is a natural starting point.
Simple openers like “What brought you here today?” or “How are you connected to this event?” instantly create a bridge. From there, you can move into the basics—asking what someone does, where they went to school, or how they became involved in the topic at hand. It doesn’t take long to uncover people you know in common, whether separated by one degree or six. That realization alone is often enough to establish connection.
Build Relationships Not Transactions
At work, your “natural” network already exists—the colleagues you speak with regularly to get your job done. But true networking requires more than functional interactions. Instead of viewing these conversations as purely transactional, approach them as opportunities to build relationships.
Why does this matter?
This kind of relational networking creates allies, not just contacts.
Expand into Adjacent Circles
Beyond your immediate circle lies your “adjacent network”—people in roles that intersect with, but are not identical to, yours. Building these connections offers two benefits:
1. It creates opportunities for collaboration and innovation.
2. It expands your sphere of influence within the organization.
Networking across these adjacent circles ensures that you’re not siloed. It positions you as someone who sees beyond your lane and values cross-functional insight.
Seek Inspiration and Learning
Finally, there is the “outer ring” of networking: people who inspire you, challenge your thinking, or offer perspectives you want to learn from. These individuals may not be immediately accessible, but reaching out to them can be transformative. Over time, relationships that begin with admiration can evolve into mentorship—and, for some, sponsorship.
The Accidental Network
I often describe my own network as “accidental.” In reality, it was strategically built without me realizing it. I wasn’t focused on collecting contacts. Instead, I was focused on impact. Building connections allowed me to expand my influence, which in turn created greater impact. The cycle fed itself: impact → influence → more impact.
Looking back, what seemed like casual conversations were actually the foundation of a powerful
network.
From Anxiety to Excitement
Instead of approaching networking with dread, approach it with curiosity. Who might you meet? What might you learn? What connection might spark unexpectedly?
The truth is simple: we all bring something to the table. Networking isn’t about rehearsed elevator pitches or forced interactions. It’s about shared ground, genuine curiosity, and the relationships that form when we take the time to connect.
So the next time networking makes you anxious, reframe it. Get excited about the possibilities—because you never know where one conversation might take you.
By: Tracy Castle-Newman, Founder of TCN Advisors, empowering businesses and individuals to achieve their full potentional through consulting, coaching and public speaking engagements. With 35 years in Financial Services, spending over 28 at Morgan Stanley, she has built and led businesses that drove revenue growth, operational efficiency, and strategic innovation. Recognizing that talent is your most valuable asset, Tracy dedicated much of her career mentoring and developing the next generation of leaders, with an intentional focus on women. She is known for building like-minded communities and built the most successful community for female portfolio managers on Wall Street.
Tracy also coaches with the Evolved People team (owner of the theglasshammer). If you wish to work with her, speak with Nicki Gilmour here.
(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)