What would you like to change for 2019?

By Nicki Gilmour

Let’s face it, we are always changing, evolving and adapting to survive. Imagine how you can use change to thrive.  

Last week, we talked about themes from 2018 and what was memorable to you. What is your “theme” going into 2019? Is it a new theme? Are you carrying around a theme that you no longer want? Is it even your theme? Or is it what you think you ‘should’ be doing according to other people’s wisdom? Or even due to ‘norms’ for people at your stage of your career or life?  

Think about what you want and then think about what you have to do to get there. Simple right? Sounds like goal setting, right? And it is mostly. But something to also consider is the behavioral piece of achieving goals because if you have a goal and your actual actions are not aligning then it might not be as easy as it looks on paper.  

What do you have to do? And will you do it? What is behind what you tell yourself? 

Who do you have to be? Who do you want to be in 2019?  

Book a free exploratory chat with Nicki to see if coaching will help you get you further, faster.

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Making 2019 the best that it can be!

There are a variety of quotes throughout history that all mean something to the effect of, ‘Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans’.

At this time of year, we start to think about goal setting for 2019.

Call them New Year’s resolutions or good old fashioned hope strategies, but either way, what we are really saying is that we want change. And, change can be hard.

Intentionality is the starting block for change. Knowing that we want to change is key. And better yet, if you can know and articulate where you are now and what the future state might look like then you are further on that you think. However, don’t panic if you do not know all or any of these three elements.

Just start by looking deep inside and being honest with yourself, go for a walk and breathe while you think about these prepared questions to get you started:

1. What stands out for you from 2018?

Note down what thematically or specifically took up your mind, heart or soul. It can be good, bad, neutral but something memorable. It can be an event, thought, insight, learning or feeling. It can be one thing or several things.

2. What are you proud of/did best at in 2018?

Everyone is different. Some of us easily know what we did well at and others ( i am one) sometimes struggle to see just how far we have come. Often high achievers can be insecure and can’t see their amazing myriad of accomplishments, so if this is the case, push yourself to see the good by ‘getting on the balcony’ for a second so you can watch the movie of your life more objectively as well as star in it. You might be surprised by what you learn.

3. What made you happy in 2018?

Simple question, right? Maybe hard to answer so dig deep into all the aspects of your life- career, family, friends, spiritually, fun, money and whatever values matter to you. Then specifically, think about what made you happy at work. Which tasks, interactions, role and responsibilities energized you?

Now, of course even the best goal setting can be derailed by 2 factors and the first factor can be you, yourself! The second is less surprising to guess – yes – others can rain on your parade.

By you, I mean your unconscious mind producing completing agendas (seen as ” i cant do that because I …..e.g. don’t have time).

The conscious mind is an interesting concept, because how much of it drives the bus? If we dare to examine how our values and constructs are often inherited or implicit from our surroundings, we find that some goals are not even what we want anymore, that they have been formed at a different time in our lives for different reasons that no longer work for us. You do not have to autopilot your way through life believing everything you were told by your dad, mom or granny.

It is ok to evolve. Give yourself permission. Best. Holiday. Gift. Ever.

We have coaches who can help you with our sister company www.evolvedpeople.com

Book time now with Nicki Gilmour for a complementary exploration to see if coaching is for you. Or email nicki@evolvedpeople.com

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Happy Thanksgiving: Career Plans for 2019 can start now!

Happy Thanksgiving to our readers in the USA.

Enjoy the time to rest and be with family and friends.

To everyone else in other parts of the world, have a great week. We are taking a publishing break.

It is a great time to start thinking about 2019.  What you might want to change, do more of or do less of? What are you thankful for? What will you do differently next year? If I wave a magic wand and we are transported in time one year from now, looking back what would you have liked to have achieved?

Career decisions – they are personal, professional and full of patterns.

Time and time again, when coaching I see that people feel that they are obliged to do jobs that no longer work for them. We grow and then stuff ourselves into boxes, we all do it at some point, so why put up with situations that no longer fit? Making decisions depends on your personality, preferences and wherever you are at in your life for sure, but your operating environment matters as behaviors come from how you intersect with the culture around you.

The glasshammer is 11 years old, and very early on in this journey, I was lucky to have a life changing experience for which I am thankful. I was fortunate to be part of a fascinating “big brother house” type learning experience, a residential executive masters in organizational psychological (I/O) with a concentration in change leadership at Teachers College, Columbia University. This amazing course taught me the systemic levers of change- whether it concerns change at an individual or an organizational level, one thing is true, it is hard to ensure that you walk the talk and that the talk (self-talk) is not controlled by legacy beliefs- conscious and unconscious about the way things are! Basically we are all a product of what our granny/father/mother told us when we were nine years old.

I learned that change leadership starts with really knowing yourself. You can control more than you think you can but equally important is knowing what you cannot control (the systemic stuff). You can play the game once you know the game, or you can choose a new game.

So the good news is that you can lean in, lean out or lean sideways, but do what is right for you personally and then ensure your strategy works in the context, aka the environment you are operating in. The rest is just general advice!

If you want to explore coaching with me, please book into an exploratory call by emailing me nicki@evolvedpeople.com or booking into this calendar for a 15 chat as I am now enrolling 2019 clients and cohorts. Limited places (and there is a cost, please note depending on session type, length etc).

Make 2019 your year!

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2018 Latina Leaders- Hispanic Heritage Month

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach, Organizational Psychologist and Founder of theglasshammer.com

This week’s column is a nod to our celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month series this week and throughout the month.

Latinas at the highest echelons are still underrepresented but we wanted to spotlight the top Latina leaders in business show you the Latina professionals that are making it happen. The future is now, progress is being made and more Latina women are running companies and raising capital for entrepreneurial ventures than before.

Career advice for Latina women may seem on the surface to be the same as for advice for any other woman from any other background. Why? Because it is only by varying degrees of believing and adhering to the patriarchy as an operating system, that makes each woman who is reading this abide or dissent from the cultural norms and gender roles they are messaged from birth.

If you are messaged values of a collectivist society versus those of an individualist society, you may show common traits. This is a more accurate way of actually having a career conversation about the context in which a person is operating in also, because the term “Hispanic” is perhaps something that is so inaccurate and unfair since it assumes that all Spanish-speaking people from over a dozen countries are the same, yet it equally assumes that all English-speaking people are not the same. That is an uneven start and can lead to greater stereotyping.

Beneath the surface, career advice could differ greatly for aspiring Latina leaders, because going against the grain is easier said than done in families and firms alike. This is where collectivism as a theory meets the reality of living in an individualistic culture.

Also, everyone has different personalities and value sets so many women do want to care-take more and play a larger family role, but to reduce it to a binary is a problem. And, many (not all) Latina women are faced with this binary in choosing to comply or dissent against the gender roles set, and dissent against the historical family structure expectations.

My advice is let’s start asking what each individual woman wants, instead of assuming we know that their social identity is all that they are (ditto anyone else for that matter.)

If you are a Latina, a constant strategy is to individuate yourself as a person to remind people who you are and what you want and what you are capable of, not who they think you are!

Nicki Gilmour, CEO of theglasshammer.com offers Executive and Career coaching in Spanish and English. For an exploratory call contact  nicki@theglasshammer.com o reserva aqui.

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High Stakes: Changing Careers at the End of Your Long Career in Financial Services

By Nicki Gilmour, CEO and Founder of theglasshammer.com and resident Executive Coach

What do you do if you really feel that you need a change?

First of all, talk to a coach to make sure that you don’t just need a vacation.

Coaching to stay in the game is often a lifesaver as it can give you some strategies to delegate work or navigate the inevitable politics in a way that doesn’t drain you. But, at face value let’s say you are ready or at least ready to think about making a change.

The first thing to do is look at where you are at in your life? Here are things to consider if you are in the “last 2-5 years” of your current fast pace, Fortune 500/financial firms work stage and now want to do something more meaningful with your time and energy for the next chapter. It is not retirement we are talking about here, it is about transition. This column is about the very specific transition of high flyers who have slogged under the boomer and generation X structures of facetime and fitting in, into their next chapter of purposeful, less rigid work.

What do you want to do with your time and energy for the next five to fifteen years?

If you are like many of the senior level, talented, smart and well-paid women who work in financial services and who hire me to work on how to do something other than the massive role they are currently doing, then think about these factors:

1. Is it really about the money?

The money is keeping you in to a degree and creating some inertia around change. It’s hard to take a pay cut and it’s hard to think about walking away from a pile of vested equity (and there are ways to not do the latter) but nobody is saying leave tomorrow and getting a plan is key. If mortgages are nearly or already paid and the kids are in college or are set up for that experience financially, it is possibly not entirely about the money.

2. Is it about your identity?

When you have worked so hard and built an identity around the job, people are often worried about the loss of that identity in various ways (from actual self- concept change and the psychological effects of that, to status and to relating to others).

3. Is it about a fantasy?

So, you may have come to the conclusion, that you do not want to be CEO or on the Exec Committee. You might be C- level, SVP level, or Managing Director level and you might be ready to declare this the pinnacle of corporate life and guess what? Giving yourself permission to do what you actually want to do is actually pretty important. The trick is to explore what you really want to do next (and that could be making it to CEO also). Look beyond the fantasy and allure of running away and opening a Bed and Breakfast, north, south, east or west of where you live now! If it’s a business, great then let’s see how serious you are about doing the business plan and figuring out that landscape for real. Really testing your assumptions about what you want to do next, whether be your own business or a non-profit gig or even running for office, it is good to consider in detail (viability check) what that will look like with a coach while safely cashing in on the (big) day job from a comfortable office with a view.

Work with Nicki Gilmour as your Executive Coach- book a complementary exploratory call here or email her on nicki@evolvedpeople.com – the sister coaching business to theglasshammer.com

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6 Important Things New Project Managers Need to Know

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By Andrej Kovacevik

Corporate demand for project managers is growing at a rapid rate of pace.

Talented people will be needed to fill the numerous project management positions that are becoming available; and industry insiders expect to see women stepping up to fill a significant percentage of these roles.

The Association for Project Management reports that female project managers tend to be younger and less experienced than their male counterparts. For the new female executives who are entering the field, we offer this list of 6 important things female project managers need to be aware of:

1. The Scope of Your Projects Might Change

Often, an executive or group of executives from your hiring organization will set parameters for the scope of the project you’ve been selected to manage. In a perfect world, you’d work within the scope of those parameters to complete your project. But according to Elizabeth Harrin at A Girl’s Guide to Project Management, you can’t always count on things to work out so neatly. She points out that most projects evolve through 4 formal versions of scope before their conclusion. Be flexible in your anticipation of this reality.

2. Managing Expectations Is an Essential Part of the Job

Whatever project you’re managing could potentially bring huge changes for a whole bunch of stakeholders in your hiring organization. Does everyone fully understand the implications of what’s coming? Probably not. As the project unfolds, do your best to help your colleagues get a handle on what the new normal is going to look like going forward. Be proactive about making any dramatic transitions as painless as possible for all stakeholders involved. How you handle this can make a massive difference in whether your leadership is perceived as a success or a failure by the end of the project.

3. It’s Crucial to Share Big-Picture Goals With Other Stakeholders

It’s easy for colleagues to succumb to tunnel vision and entirely miss what the main objectives for a project might be. Creating a mindmap can help to explain what’s going on and to get everyone else on board. It’s a big win if you can get all the relevant stakeholders involved in your project to understand the big-picture goals and buy in from the beginning.

If there are people who aren’t buying in, it is helpful to identify them early on and figure out the reasons for their opposition. Perhaps they even have valid reasons that should be addressed. Don’t ignore the naysayers. It’s better to work with them towards a resolution.

Obviously, you’ll first have to understand your project’s big-picture goals in order to communicate them effectively to your team. This shouldn’t be a problem — but for many project managers, it is. You might be surprised to learn that 80 percent of all project managers don’t fully understand the subtleties of how their projects support their hiring organizations’ business strategies, according to capterra.com. So if you don’t have a clear understanding of the primary motivators, you’ll have to do your homework so you can effectively educate both yourself and your team.

4. There’s a Whole Bunch of Jargon You’ll Need to Decipher

If you haven’t already earned a Master of Project Management degree, you might not be thoroughly educated about all the PM terminology that you’ll encounter as you work your way through your projects. Smartsheet.com offers a helpful glossary of project management terms you’ll want to be sure to familiarize yourself with.

5. The Role of Project Manager Is Changing in Ways That Favor Women’s Skills

According to experts at the international association of project managers, the vocation has evolved significantly over the course of the last several decades. They explain that, 20 years ago, the job of project manager was perceived as macho. Currently, in contrast, emotional intelligence is one of the foremost qualifications that top executives seek in a project manager. Today’s project managers need to excel in diplomacy, resourcefulness and creativity — a skillset that comes as naturally to women as it does to men. The pressure to be macho is now out of the picture. And, accordingly, the numbers of female project managers has been growing and is expected to grow more in the future.

6. You’ll Need to Cultivate a Professional Network

Elise Stevens, writing on behalf of the Project Manager website, explains that women will find better opportunities in the long term if they establish and nurture their own professional networks. In her opinion, one main advantage of networking is having the opportunity to better understand what leaders desire in managers and project leaders. Her network has also opened up new opportunities that would not have become available to her otherwise.

As a management professional, you cannot expect to succeed if you’re isolated on your own island. You’ll constantly need to turn to others to solve problems, find needed resources, delegate tasks and seek input. When you’ve cultivated a network, it’s much easier to accomplish all these things.

Of course, these are not the only things female project managers urgently need to know; but these are some of top things that tend to take women by surprise when they are new to project management. The sooner you wrap your head around these 6 things, the better the outcome will be for the projects you’ll manage in the course of your career.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Dare to Dream! What Job Would You Do if You Won the Lottery?

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executve Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Upon winning the lottery, some people might stop working.

Others would take the opportunity to work in their dream job. What is your dream job? If you do not know the answer, let us have some fun while summer is still here to dare to dream because you might just find some answers for real life by letting your mind run wild.

Let’s start with 3 questions to stimulate the process:

1. What makes you tick? ( there are many tests to take- for example, the Hogan personality instrument helps you understand you behaviors based on your personality and work environment, Myers Briggs, Firo-B etc). Do you need recognition? Is it about power for you? How high is your altruism markers? Are you hedonistic and want to have ping pong and happy hours? How social are you? Do you need to achieve at all costs?

2. How do you prefer to learn? if you are going to do a new thing, how would you like to approach it? Will you jump in and learn by doing? Or would you prefer to have time to studying?

3. What are your absolute bottom lines and how did you get to them? If you had teams of support people, would you choose to outsource child care or would you outsource work? How do you want to spend your time?

Have some fun here. Write it down, draw pictures, do a vision board, whatever works for you!

What comes out of this simple exercise for you?

If you want to work with an executive coach on this and and then the advanced exercises that will take you to the next level at work or even your next job, contact nicki@theglasshammer.com

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3 Easy Ways to Know What Job You Want to Do Next

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Staying in the job, after the love has gone?

We have all done it, we have all stayed in a position at work that just did not excite us anymore on any level. The reasons that keep us there can vary but more often than not, it is a combination of wanting the security/ money and not believing that there is a better situation out there for us. Confidence, or lack of it for people who have never had a confidence issue before, can be very daunting.

It is normal to ask yourself, ‘But what would i do?’

The answer to that question is very personal and individual but in broad strokes my bet is that you could do a range of things inside or outside of your current firm and even industry.

Isn’t it time to do what you want to do? I mean, you probably have more skills than you give yourself credit for and probably most of them are entirely transferable.

Here are 3 steps to get closer to your ideal job.

1. Make a list of what you like doing
2. Then make a list of what you do not like doing
3. Make a list of the tasks you would be doing in a more ideal situation 12 months from now.

I am mentioning tasks, because often we talk about roles or responsibilities instead of tasks. Roles like, I want to manage people doesn’t actually define what is your task or the tasks they are doing that you will be responsible for, so go granular in this exercise.

What comes out of this simple exercise for you?

If you want to work with an executive coach on this and and then the advanced exercises that will take you to your next job, contact nicki@theglasshammer.com

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5 Things You Can Do as a Leader to Help Increase Engagement In Company Initiatives

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Latina
This week we invited a guest to contribute to the career tip column.

Fierce Conversations wrote a recent blog post on how leaders engage with it comes to organizational initiatives.

  1. Get on board, even if you’re not the driver. Just because you aren’t driving an idea or initiative, or didn’t come up with it to begin with, doesn’t mean the team and the entire organization doesn’t need you to get behind it. The sooner you can play the role of supporter-in-chief, the faster things will start to change and the larger impact you will see.
  2. Set expectations, and meet them. If you say you will be an advocate for a program, or that you expect an initiative to succeed, you need to show up for it. Trust is key here, as too many promises broken can lead your employees to simply stop making an effort.
  3. Model the behavior. Leaders need to be modeling the behavior they want to see. As there is a clear correlation between C-suite behavior and the model behavior they wanted exhibited. If you want all meetings to start on time, make sure you are never late. If you want people to work across teams, make sure they see you doing the same.
  4. Engage on a personal level. Through one-on-one conversations, either planned or organic, interact and engage regularly with employees and other company leaders. Create opportunities, such as social events or a weekly office walkthroughs, to support this endeavor, and ask about activities taking place. Use this feedback to improve upon the process.
  5. Follow-through. An initial email isn’t enough to support something. Ensure you continue to have conversations that advocate for a program, and that the leaders around you do the same. These conversations need to be ongoing, and fluid. Consider having a specific check-in point where you communicate widely the feedback and results to-date. Make changes as necessary.
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5 Tips to Increasing your Empathy as a Leadership Strategy

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

I used to have zero empathy, lots of honest concern for the person in their situation, but zero empathy (and I have the psychometric tests to prove it).

I could not understand why people could not do better, get over it and get on with it. I was judging them against my paradigms built as a child growing up in a terrorist state with an emotionally unavailable parent and a right wing culture telling me I had to be tough to survive( Northern Ireland in the 1980s under Thatcher). My frameworks and values were in play exclusively, not the other person’s frameworks. It was frustrating for me and I am pretty sure it was not a pleasant experience for people I managed and had in my life. Empathy is a leadership skill, because without it you cannot understand what people are feeling which dictates everything from how they perform to how they show up at work attitudinally and to how authentic they are with you.

This is key if you want to get past the golden rule of ‘treat others of treat people how you want to be treated’ and evolve to the platinum rule of “treat others how they want to be treated.”

So, I built, brick by brick and I internalized it and like any muscle flexed it until it became integral to my nature. You can do this also!

Here are 4 quick tips to get started:

1. Ask open questions that allow people to tell you about themselves and their situations in a way that gives them space to do it their way. Don’t interrogate people as building trust comes before, during and after these types of interactions.

2. Understand the difference between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy is when you feel an emotion for their situation ( such as sorrow and there is distance between you and them emotionally). Empathy is when their emotion is something that you feel with them as it pertains to your own ability to map it internally to your own experiences.

3. Do not limit other people’s emotions to your own range or to your own experiences. Frankly, you might not have the biggest range in the world. And if are very subjective in your ability to interpret events and can only do it through your lens ( see Kegan and Lahey again on the socialized mind in Immunity to Change) then I have found in people who have low EQ but lots of empathy that the person who is seeking to be understood by you on a topic can feel frustrated by the way that you are very keen to share what happened to you as part of the meaning- making and it can drown out the original person. Or that the subjectivity factor completely limits the process, putting the process in or near the concern quadrant if this was a map.

4. Recap and name the emotions you hear as a question not as a statement. In my opinion this is very tied to points 1 and 2 and 3.

5. Use the “magic if” to walk in the other person’s shoes. For example: “If my dad had a stroke this week, would i be able to finish project x today?’.

Practice makes perfect! And imperfection is ok too, your efforts will be appreciated, I am sure.

If you would like to develop your leadership skillst, I would be happy to work with you as your executive coach. Contact me on 646 6882318 or nicki@theglasshammer.com for an exploratory chat

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