working from homeIf you make well-meaning, generous, happy to help contributions day in and out at the office and it goes without recognition or reward, do you make a sound? When it comes to your career, probably not. The truth is when it comes to both moving up and looking after yourself, too much helping might be hurting.

In a recent New York Times article, Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant write, “This is the sad reality in workplaces around the world: Women help more but benefit less from it.” After all, there’s a difference between leaning in and being leaned on.

Why We Help

Sandberg and Grant are quick to note that gender stereotypes are at play in creating expectations for women to “pitch in” thanklessly for the team: “When a man offers to help, we shower him with praise and rewards. But when a woman helps, we feel less indebted. She’s communal, right? She wants to be a team player. The reverse is also true. When a woman declines to help a colleague, people like her less and her career suffers. But when a man says no, he faces no backlash. A man who doesn’t help is ‘busy’; a woman is ‘selfish.’”

So it’s no surprise that Law Professor Joan C. Williams, author of What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know, says that for women, “Saying no without seeming touchy, humorless or supremely selfish is a particularly tricky balancing act.” Women continue to be left “holding the mop”, in the words of Senator Elizabeth Warren, for men in the office. Blogging on leadership, Williams defines office housework as:

“the administrative tasks, menial jobs, and undervalued assignments women are disproportionately given at their jobs.”

“Someone has to take notes, serve on committees and plan meetings — and just as happens with housework at home, that someone is usually a woman,” says Sandberg and Grant.

What happens when a woman says no? A study on altruistic behavior led by NYU’s Heilman tested how male and female employees would be evaluated based on choosing whether to stay late for an important meeting. A man was rated 14% more favourably than a woman for staying and helping. A woman was 12% more negatively than a man for declining.

It’s the equivalent of the “awww” factor daddy gets but not mom when he carries around the baby, and it’s unequally rewarded. Sandberg and Grant state, “Over and over, after giving identical help, a man was significantly more likely to be recommended for promotions, important projects, raises and bonuses. A woman had to help just to get the same rating as a man who didn’t help.”

If you’re finding yourself disproportionately engaged in leading mentor programs, coordinating the interns, taking notes, heading up thankless committees and special side initiatives, ordering the sandwiches, volunteering to stay late, and spending time behind the scenes coaching, you are helping organizational success according to many studies noted in the NYT article.

But the question is at what price to your career and to yourself?

Hindering Your Career

The NYT article stated, “Studies demonstrate that men are more likely to contribute with visible behaviors — like showing up at optional meetings — while women engage more privately in time-consuming activities like assisting others and mentoring colleagues.”

Behind the scenes help is valuable, but when it’s mostly women who are carrying the time and effort commitment on low-valued, low-visibility work, who is free to step up to the high-value, high-visibility opportunities?

“The person taking diligent notes in the meeting almost never makes the killer point,” Sandberg and Grant write in the NYT. And Williams asserts in the Washington Post, “We have to get women out of office housework and onto more projects that really matter, both to them and to their companies, if we want more women to be successful in reaching positions of influence.”

Sacrificing Yourself

Williams writes, “Women are often asked to play the selfless good citizen…by taking on assignments that men don’t want or that the organization doesn’t highly reward.” But what happens when women act selfless, or out of our need to be dutiful or helpful, is we too often neglect ourselves.

Women are more likely to feel burned out at work when it comes to emotional exhaustion, according to an analysis of 183 different studies across 15 countries. According to another study, women’s focus on and involvement with others to the exclusion of taking care of their own self can cause stress and depression underneath.

Being helpful can create personally rewarding interactions, but women need to be careful that they’re not exhausting their own energy and resources while colluding with multiplying expectations upon themselves.

If your identity becomes locked up in being the helpful one, which your gender already infers, then it becomes an expectation you serve and reaffirm. When out of balance, being of service to others at the workplace can mean being of dis-service to yourself.

A Mindset Change

Sandberg and Grant suggest that organizations should chose to value, track, and recognize acts of helping, as well as address the imbalance in assigning this work. They also suggest men could step up to contribute their share and help vocalize the unsung contributions.

In the meantime, they suggest breaking free of the cycle of mop-holding comes down to women, to you: “For women, the most important change starts with a shift in mind-set: If we want to care for others, we also need to take care of ourselves. One of us, Adam, has conducted and reviewed numerous studies showing that women (and men) achieve the highest performance and experience the lowest burnout when they prioritize their own needs along with the needs of others. By putting self-concern on par with concern for others, women may feel less altruistic, but they’re able to gain more influence and sustain more energy. Ultimately, they can actually give more.”

The NYT article pointed out an exec who found more efficient ways – such as a FAQ manual – to address requests for help, as well as caring ways to decline over-stretching. Only then did she make partner. You can be as giving, caring, and considerate in how you say no to others while recognizing your needs and limits as you can be in saying yes.

Women are quick at helping, and it’s part of the path to success, but that doesn’t mean we have to shoulder all the under-valued work at a cost to ourselves.

Perhaps we need to qualify Sandberg’s call-to-action: Lean in, but don’t be leaned on.

By Aimee Hansen

Josephine Shin“Never lose your initial curiosity to learn,” advises Josephine Shin. “Stay engaged, and get outside of your comfort zone because that’s when you learn.”

Shin’s curiosity is what led her to a somewhat alternative path in the finance industry. At the University of Pennsylvania she pursued a Bachelor of Arts degree in Women’s Studies and Sociology, rather than the finance degree that was so prevalent.

But then upon graduation, she found herself surrounded by people asking how she was going to parlay that course of study into a career.

“There were doubts from peers about my choices, but I think it was the best path I could have taken. I got to spend those four years studying something of interest, communicating and formulating my own views even if they were out of consensus, being challenged by others and at the same time staying open to new ideas. Now I am putting those skillsets to work every day professionally and pursuing a profession that I truly enjoy. Shin said. She believes that spending those early years questioning and debating with an open mind allows her to bring a different perspective and to find value in places that may be overlooked.

With an interest in both quantitative and qualitative aspects, Shin joined an investment management company as a fixed income credit analyst. She describes it as an intense time to jump in as everyone was dealing with the effects of the “tech bubble” and 9/11, but a time where she learned valuable skills especially because bottoms-up fundamental analysis of credit was in such high demand. Though the firm she was working for was one where most people tended to stay “for life,” she yearned to be in the heart of New York and, ultimately, moved to work for another firm in a more senior role.

After several years, Shin went to work with a former colleague, but a year later, Lehman Brothers imploded and a majority of her team was dismantled within two weeks. That experience had a profound effect on her. “My comfort zone was shaken. That made me realize that I had gotten too comfortable and started to identify myself with where I work and what I do professionally,” she said. “That’s when I realized that I love what I do but that shouldn’t define who I am,” a lesson that has helped her throughout her career and personal life.

At that point, she decided to return to her roots in investment management and joined Alcentra, part of BNY Mellon, where she’s been for more than six years.

Paving Her Own Path

Shin says the career achievement she’s proudest of is her overall resilience in the face of naysayers and forging her own path even if it meant not following the most conventional options. From the major she pursued, to her desire to move from a comfortable job to New York, she has questioned taking at face value what the majority told her was “the right thing,” in favor of what was the right thing for her. “I listened to myself, and then spoke up to negotiate what I wanted.”

And throughout her career, she has appreciated the path she chose. “I’m in the perfect job for me; you have to be quick and nimble to act, yet have a strong fundamental view because every day there is something new about companies that I’m investing in.” She relishes her new role of portfolio management and the global platform the firm offers because it gives her a strong vantage point to integrate micro and macro data into innovative ideas for her clients.

Shin naturally gravitates toward mentors who share her affinity for making their voice heard, and her professional role models embody that quality at the highest level. She says, “If you find a mentor or sponsor in your workplace who takes time to give you honest feedback on how you can continue to grow in your career without plateauing, appreciate that gift because it is rare. It’s how we grow. Also, stay humble and ask for honest feedback. I have that in my current job and it’s been hugely inspirational for me.”

One of Shin’s early influences is Betty Friedan, whose work helped shape her belief in the importance of challenging the consensus view. “To be an outperformer in this business, it’s vital to have your own voice and thoughts,” Shin said.

She also named Judith Rodin, the first women president of an Ivy League university. Rodin was president while Shin attended Penn. “She is an inspiration to me because she not only relishes in her success, but does not shy away from mistakes or moments of failure in her career and life. I respect that humble dichotomy. She’s a great role model.”

Building Bonds

Shin has been involved in WIN (Women’s Initiative Network), a resource for the professional development and advancement of women at BNY Mellon. She also participates in the Penn Alumnae Women’s group. Her participation with both organizations underscores her belief in the importance of continuing to cultivate a robust network. She has experienced firsthand how the industry can change fast and that it’s vital to have a network already set up.

At the same time, she is cognizant of the fact that when you are employed, it’s compassionate to take a moment to help out others since you never know when you will need support. She especially believes in giving opportunities to women who might not have cookie cutter backgrounds, because they bring a different perspective that can enhance any organization or team.

Shin says she is grateful for her family’s support system. Naming her husband as her biggest supporter, she is also very close to her brother, mother and extended family. On the home front, Shin has a two-and-a-half year old daughter, whom she says is not only the apple of her eye, but makes her a more compassionate and well-rounded person. “I used to take for granted those days I could work into the wee hours at night, but now I have a better understanding of other working mothers. On the other hand, my efficiency has become incredible.”

By Cathie Ericson

women salesHere’s the thing: sometimes we’re selling our ideas, sometimes we’re selling our products and, these days, many of us are selling ourselves as the best candidate for the job/as the person who deserves a promotion. With this in mind, here’s the proven formula for selling your best self to anybody, anywhere, anytime.

First: Yale University did a study of the 12 most persuasive words in the English language. What they discovered is that the most persuasive word in the English language is “you.” Consequently, I recommend throwing it around a lot: “As I’m sure you know,” “As I’m sure you’ve heard,” “I wanted to talk to you today,” etc.

Second: California-based Social Psychologist Ellen Langer revealed that there is one word in the English language that increases the possibility of cooperation from 60 to 94%. No, that is not a typo. I will repeat: 60 to 94%. This word is “Because.”

Lastly: “The Duncan Hines Cake Mix Marketing Theory.” When Duncan Hines first began making cake mix, the decision to have you at home add the egg was made in the marketing department. Why is this effective? Because they realized that when we add the egg we feel proud because we contributed; we can say, “I baked!” How does this work in a business scenario? You need to articulate how you can contribute to the other person’s success and/or how they can contribute to yours so that what is created becomes your shared success.

So that’s your formula: you + because + the egg = success.

Following are three different ways you can apply this formula for success

Talking to an Interviewer:

Too often we spend our interviewing time talking about why we are right for the job. This sounds a lot like, “And I just think this company would be perfect for me/would help me meet my goals.” No. What you need to be talking about is how you are going to contribute to your future boss’s/the company’s success once you are hired.

What might this sound like?

“I wanted to talk to you today because your job description/your company’s mission statement/your bestselling product is X, and my skill set/my personal passion/my sales experience is in Y. Applying the full force of my expertise to this job will enable us both to reach our goals.”

Talking to Your Boss about a Brewing “Situation”:

The use of the word “situation” here is quite deliberate. The White House doesn’t have a “Crisis Room,” they have a “Situation Room.” Likewise, you don’t have a crisis– you have a situation that needs to be resolved.

So, what would the formula for success sound like here?

“I wanted to bring a potential situation to your attention immediately because it requires expert attention. X has occurred and I have come up with the following two, possible solutions. Is there one that you prefer?”

In this instance, their egg is not as much the mention of their expert attention, but the opportunity you are giving them to apply that expertise to two possible resolution strategies. Having them to choose which they prefer (and tell you why it’s far better) not only allows them to add their egg, but to choose the temperature at which the solution is “baked.”

Talking to a Potential Target at a Networking event

Too many networking events are about what others can do for us, rather than what we can do for them. In my experience, however, the most successful networkers aren’t asking, “What can you do for me?” but “What can I do for you?” In this scenario, then, the formula would likely sound like this:

“Hello, I’m X,” (if your target is standing with another person, or in a group, introduce yourself to everyone present.) “I wanted to introduce myself because I know you are the visionary behind X idea/product/company, and I wanted to introduce you to Y/write about you in my newsletter/ask if I could help you organize your next charity event.”

As you can see, the offer doesn’t need to be huge — the fact that you made it at all is what helps you stand out. Leaving room for them to add the egg of their choice is what will ensure your successful connection.

Happy baking!

Guest Contribution by Frances Cole Jones

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

woman typing on a laptopThis Week’s Tip Is…

Successful narrative

Think about how all business leaders tend to have an “arc” to their story. What is your arc? How does the tasks you do, and the projects completed, add up to a narrative for your career?

Welcome to Career Tip of the Week. In this column we aim to provide you with a useful snippet of advice to carry with you all week as you navigate the day to day path in your career.

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

memorial-day-2015

We will be taking a short publishing break, but we will return tomorrow with the latest career advice, news, and inspiring women to help you advance your career.

Please join our LinkedIn community here in the meantime!

Patricia Kozu“My career would appear to be random but in reality it is not; the common thread is leveraging strengths,” says Patricia Kozu, executive director for Ascend, a membership organization that serves 60,000 pan Asian members through 17 professional chapters and 30 student chapters.

After studying math and quantitative analysis, Kozu pursued a job in technology, which she followed up with stints covering a diverse landscape of functions — operations, finance, marketing, product management and business development. And not only were the functions diverse, so were the industries — from telecommunications to consumer packaged goods to financial service. Now she is in the world of nonprofits, which had been her ultimate goal, joining Ascend November 2014.

“I wanted to have the most well-rounded background possible when I entered the nonprofit world where generally we need to wear many different hats,” Kozu says, describing her path.

Ascend’s goal is to help Pan Asians at all phases of their career develop and achieve their leadership potential. According to Kozu, “From students looking for their first job to executives who want to be on corporate boards, we make it easier for them to get involved and benefit from our programs and give back to the community.”

Having just joined the organization, Kozu has a plan in place. “I’ve always been proud when I implement new ideas or find new ways to do things,” she says, adding that her technique is to find the low-hanging fruit to start off with immediate results, then look for opportunities farther out. So, for example, she knows that Ascend, which is celebrating its 10th anniversary, wants to grow its reach but first they have to make sure the infrastructure is up to speed, that the databases and what they use to support members are in place and are strong.

Culture and Gender are Not Invisible

As a third-generation Japanese Asian American, Kozu began her career assuming her gender and ethnicity weren’t relevant, because of her education and experience. “Since I’d worked at brand name companies and had always been focused on professional development, I saw myself as a competent executive. But I soon learned that others bring their own narrative to my story and might see me first as Asian or as a woman. Now, I see that my Asian heritage is an important part of who I am and others can benefit when I share my experience.”

Right now, she’s proud to be releasing results of Ascend’s latest research project called Hidden in Plain Sight, which sheds light on culture and gender. The results are derived from data from six Silicon Valley companies that made their data public. The final analysis was that race has an even bigger impact than gender. She says they found that white men and women have a higher ratio of leadership roles than Asian men, and Asian women have the fewest. She also notes that less than 2 percent of Fortune 100 board seats are held by Pan Asians, and less than ½ of 1 percent of philanthropic dollars go to Asian organizations, even though Asians are the fastest-growing segment of the United States.

“Ascend is shining a light on important issues and providing recommendations,” Kozu says. “We want to continue to move the needle and demonstrate the value of embracing diversity and inclusion. When there’s diversity at the decision-making table, both in gender and culture, the decisions are better.”

Celebrate the Differences

For women beginning their careers, Kozu advises that they make an effort not to blend in; but rather to leverage their differences. She cites Madeleine Albright and her penchant for colorful pins that would spark conversation. “I’ll see a group of young women all dressed in their black suits and I want them to know it’s ok to celebrate your own individuality.” And, of course, she adds, it’s not just about appearances. Speaking up with that different voice is beneficial for the individual and the organization.

Along with Ascend, women-focused organizations can help. Kozu joined the well-established Financial Women’s Association in the 1980s but believes that an organization like Ascend is very relevant and knows it would have been beneficial earlier in her career.

She urges women to consider using volunteer work at nonprofits as an excellent way to develop their skills and leadership techniques.

Each Ascend chapter has officers and committees so there are myriad ways to try something new, whether it’s learning more about marketing or fundraising. “There is always something to learn, and you never know how your volunteer work can help in your business life,” she says.

Kozu notes that she was able to make the move from the corporate to the nonprofit world by honing her skills as a volunteer providing mentoring, tutoring and then as a board member at a variety of nonprofits.

Mentoring also helped make her a better manager, since the questions her mentees ask offer insight into their perspective as young people entering the work force.

“The message I like to give is that it’s not a one-way street. I’ve learned so much from the women I have mentored, and stay in touch as they move on in their careers.”

Diversity includes age, of course, as well. “I am inspired when I see men and women reaching across generations to share their stories.”

Currently, Kozu continues her volunteer work as a member of the steering committee for the Asian Women Giving Circle, where they fund art projects devoted to social justice issues, such as violence and bias.

“We can talk about these issues all day, but that only appeals to the head. Having an arts project that shines light on these issues and appeals to the heart as well can be so powerful.”

By Cathie Ericson

Tasneem“Take risks, fail fast, tell your story and build partnerships,” says Tasneem Hajara, director of online, mobile and social channels for TIAA-CREF. Hajara’s advice stems from a fast-paced career path spanning roles and continents.

Hajara began her career path in India, where she earned a master’s degree in computer science before joining a startup. She found that a startup, with its exciting work and passionate mentors, to be the ideal foundation from which to launch her career.

“It was fast paced, and that’s the type of environment in which I thrive,” Hajara said of the experience.

Then, in a move which she describes as destiny, Hajara was sent on a two-month assignment to the United States, where she met her husband, and subsequently stayed. She became a consultant, which opened up a new path for her future. “Back in India, I had been leading a team and now I was an individual contributor again in a foreign location. I had to relearn the work environment and understand the differences in culture.”

She joined Merrill Lynch, where she stayed for nine years, steadily earning promotions. Hajara soon became vice president of their online technology group and was responsible for the retirement benefits online and mobile channels. She then joined TIAA-CREF, where she is responsible for the Sole Recording Keeping Online platform. Additionally, Hajara leads the social and mobile platforms, a key business for the company, and most recently was asked to help lead the Digital transformation efforts at TIAA-CREF.

She says that it’s an exciting time to be pursuing a career in technology, given how technology is disrupting and creating new business value and how it is virtually shaping everything in business. And that brings challenges, too. “We have to be prepared because we don’t know where our competition is coming from. You have to be at your ‘A’ game at all times.”

An Affinity for Startup Culture

Looking back, she credits her time at the fast-paced, delivery-oriented startup environment with having a major impact on her. Telling one anecdote, Hajara remembers surprising the entire team when she was a developer doing systems programming work. She was tasked with gathering an effort estimate for a pre-sales tool for a product that the startup was selling. Instead of returning with the expected plan and estimate, she actually produced a working tool in two days, a feat which earned her great recognition early on in her career.

“You have this energy when you’re young and the startup environment encourages innovation. They had projected it would take two months to build the complete sales tool, but I just worked until it was done,” Hajara said.

It was at the startup that she learned to take risks and experiment. As she works on the digital transformation program, one of Hajara’ s goals at TIAA-CREF is to bring a sense of the Silicon Valley culture to a large organization. “It’s an interesting culture shift that won’t be easy, but we believe that we will get there.”

Lessons Learned

During her career, Hajara became cognizant of the importance of ensuring that others know the good work that you are doing. “Because of my technology background, I was always a doer, but I missed out on the sales component,” she reflects, adding that she just expected that people would understand how hard she was working.

As she navigated the work world, Hajara also found that an unconscious bias exists; something she believes that women should be aware of, but not see as a limiting factor. “Women in general are hard on themselves,” she said. “We have a lot of expectations on ourselves and we also tend to set goals that are less aspirational, as compared to men. We might have the capabilities, but we are more careful of where we set our sights.”

For that reason, she thinks it is important that women take big risks, because the bigger the risk, the bigger the result. But, she cautions, “There will always be new goals so don’t get too caught up in chasing them. Take people along with you and build partnerships; enjoy the journey.”

Hajara believes it’s important for women to mentor one another and is involved in programs at TIAA-CREF that support diversity, such as the IT diversity and inclusion council.

“I enjoy being able to share what I learned trying to immerse myself into another culture. I think it’s important to bring similar experiences to the attention of others who are in the same boat and might be struggling. Ultimately we can learn from each other.”

Outside of work, Hajara enjoys spending time with her two daughters, ages twelve and seven. She also loves to travel and garden. “I have an emotional attachment to gardening, you could say. It’s very gratifying to see something you’ve planted grow, and just working in the garden is relaxing. It’s a highly rewarding activity.”

Career-newsHow can women leaders increase their odds of being more successful after they’ve received negative feedback or suffered a work setback?

Answers to this question abound: Be more aggressive, capitalize on natural people skills, speak up more, avoid organizations with glass ceilings – the list can go on.

There’s nothing wrong with any of these answers except that they can sometimes have limited value, as we often struggle to succeed due to internal rather than external reasons.

For over twenty years, I have used a leadership assessment tool developed by well-known psychologist Robert Hogan that identifies and helps manage what he refers to as “derailers”. Hogan’s definition of derailers is personality traits that emerge under stress when we lose our ability to regulate behaviors because our brain goes into a self-protection mode. Unaddressed, these actions can sabotage relationships as well as careers.

In my book, Beauty Queen: Inside the Reign of Avon’s Andrea Jung, I wrote extensively on the impact of Andrea’s pleaser “derailer” – avoiding conflict or the tough calls and trying to appease others in order to maintain harmony. Andrea was a brilliant and highly successful leader, but the combination of intense stress and difficult circumstances (the loss of her second-in-command) allowed her derailer to diminish her effectiveness. I have coached many women who possess this derailer and I’ve witnessed how it causes them to stay quiet and fail to speak up. This derailer is related to risk taking, and it affects not only business decisions but also taking personal risks such as voicing a minority opinion in a meeting or making a controversial comment. In these women’s minds, the self-protection mode can kick in and often unconsciously, they believe it is better to “play it safe” and not say anything versus having their opinions disparaged.

Be aware, too, that understanding the context is crucial when it comes to assessing the impact of derailers on women leaders. For example, I coached Joan, a senior vice president with a large organization. Her derailer was mischievous – under stress she circumvented the rules or created her own rules to get results. In Joan’s previous organization, this behavioral mischief resulted in her being labeled a true innovator who broke through outdated processes to turn around a tired brand. In Joan’s current role, she is being labeled as non-collaborative and a lone ranger. Her previous organization’s culture was more aligned with her values and personality while her current organization’s culture is known as more conservative and operating by the book. Recall that all derailers possess a flip side. In Joan’s case, the daring and provocative moves that helped her succeed in one organization are causing her to fail in another company. Context means a lot, especially for women leaders who tend to be given labels that are difficult to shake.

I worked with another woman, Tanya, who was overly cautious and worked in an organization with an overly cautious culture and business strategy – they were never the first to market but followed the market leader with decreasing success. As part of a corporate shake-up, more aggressive managers were brought in. Tanya’s new manager gave her some pretty tough feedback about not only the need to speak up but to push the envelope with her plans and programs. Again, a changing context affected how Tanya’s overly cautious behavior was perceived. What helped Tanya succeed in one context caused her to struggle in another.

Derailers are part of who we are, so you can’t get rid of your derailers. But you can learn to manage them. The management process can be more difficult for women leaders than men, in part because bosses are sometimes more willing to give tough feedback to men because it’s assumed they can “take it”. In some companies, too, male leaders are more likely to receive coaching than female leaders. Therefore, you may need to learn how to manage your derailer yourself.

Here are some tips for doing so:
  • Know what the “buzz” is about you–what people say about you behind your back usually leads right back to your derailers. Ask your friends, partner and spouse what you do under stress. They always know and can often be your best coach. If you hear that you have too much pride, never ask for help and have trouble admitting you’ve made a mistake, then arrogance is your likely derailer.
  • Discover what pushes your buttons. I worked with one colleague who always got under my skin with her cynicism and bitterness, and I became a different and very untrusting individual when we tangled. Every time we argued, I became confrontational and angry—this was not my usual mode of operation. By identifying how you react when your buttons are pushed, you can receive additional clues about your derailing trait.
  • Understand your context. Be aware of how your derailer fits within your organization’s culture. Figure out the norms of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Ask yourself whether this has changed with new leadership and how it’s affected you.
  • Take action and get tactical. Tanya, the overly cautious woman I coached, needed to speak up more, so she set a target of stating her opinion at least 5 times in every meeting she attended. After a while, speaking up became a habit.

Finally, be aware that in many organizational settings, women are reluctant to admit to themselves or others that they have a flaw. We’ve been conditioned to believe that we have to be better, stronger, and smarter than our male counterparts if we want to succeed. Thus, we can be reluctant to consider that we might have a derailing tendency.

But all of us have them, be we men or women, young or old, CEOs or neophytes. By being aware of your most impactful derailer and making an effort to counteract its effect especially when you’re under stress and it’s causing you problems, you can counteract its negative effect. Managing your derailer doesn’t guarantee women leaders success, but it certainly levels the playing field in more ways than one.

Guest Contribution by Deborrah Himsel

Deborrah Himsel is the author of Beauty Queen: Inside the Reign of Avon’s Andrea Jung. She is also an educator and executive coach – www.himselandassociates.com

Guest advice and opinions not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

woman sitting at deskThis Week’s Tip Is…

Waiting for a promotion? Think about what you have actively done in the past 3 months to ensure your boss/manager/sponsors knows you want to move head to the next level.

Welcome to Career Tip of the Week. In this column we aim to provide you with a useful snippet of advice to carry with you all week as you navigate the day to day path in your career.

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Jo NatauriWomen in the work force need to make an effort not to be so hard on themselves, says Jo Natauri, a partner at Goldman Sachs. “You have to accept that you won’t be functioning at 100% in all aspects of your life all the time. Sometimes you are a 100% mother or wife, and sometimes you’re 100% at your job, but often it will be somewhere in between. You have to be ok with pushing and pulling levers in your life, rather than going full bore on all of them at the same time. Frankly it’s a balance you have to acknowledge irrespective of your gender.”

Intersection of Healthcare and Finance

During her time as an undergrad at the University of Virginia, Natauri’s interests shifted from pursuing a career practicing medicine to one in finance. Working with a quadriplegic while in school, she was struck by the many difficulties he was having obtaining adequate medical care, as well as the financial means to cover it. “Seeing an accomplished individual still having these issues changed my course. I realized I wanted to be involved in healthcare in a meaningful way on the business side.”

Because of previous coursework, she had the flexibility to earn a degree in both economics and biology, and went into investment banking. Her plan when she started in 1998 was to spend time learning and understanding the business side and then eventually transition into policy, but instead she has spent her entire career in various roles in the healthcare business. She started at Goldman in 2006 as a vice president, and became a managing director in 2008 and partner in 2012.

Natauri is excited by her work on transactions in the sector with cutting-edge companies that are focused on helping people and curing diseases. “The altruistic component to the finance I’m doing is really important to me,” she says, “And, due to the profound changes in healthcare, the industry will continue to offer new opportunities.”

Passion = Success

Though Natauri has always felt a passion for the finance industry, she suggests young women who might be considering a career in banking recognize the demands the job may have on personal time. She says though work in investment banking can be all consuming, she likes working with smart people who want to make decisions quickly and produce the best work for clients.

She shares a passion for her work with the other women with whom she interacts in Goldman’s robust mentoring groups. “I was pleasantly surprised when I came here to see how important mentoring is, both formally and informally.”

She finds mentoring particularly helpful in addressing one of the main challenges she sees for women in the industry — the limited number of female role models at the higher levels. “If you haven’t seen a lot of women in senior positions, which I didn’t, you might feel pressured to mimic the few examples you do see instead of forging your own path, which can be challenging if that doesn’t match your personality,” Natauri said. “You have to figure out what success looks like for you, without having the benefit of a large number of role models.”

Natauri knows that success doesn’t come immediately, which also can be challenging when first starting your career. “When you’re young, you are promptly rewarded for good grades and hard work, and then you find when you enter the corporate world that it’s not as linear,” she says. “You have to have patience that your trajectory will take off.”

A Heart for Kids

Natauri spends much of her time away from work with her husband and their three children, ages four, two and one. She was also formerly on the board of a nonprofit organization called Everybody Wins, which she describes as a cross between literacy advocacy and Big Brothers/Big Sisters. The organization brings professionals to low-income schools to mentor and read to kids. “I’m a practical person at heart so I really appreciated its mission of getting busy people involved in an impactful way with the limited time they have available.”