Tag Archive for: Success

Interdependent Leadership: We Need More than Independent Leaders

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Interdependence“Human life is interdependent!” says Dr. Stephen Covey. “Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.”

As citizens of the Western patriarchal world that idealizes individualism, we are conditioned to strive for independence as the bastion of strength.

But as Covey touched on in the Maturity Continuum back in the classic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, independence is not the ultimate arrival point.

Evolving from independence to interdependence is a pre-requisite of stepping into being a true leader and creating human fulfillment in all of our relationships.

Personal Development Journey to Interdependence

First of all, interdependence is neither dependence nor codependence. Only independent people can evolve to be and choose to be interdependent.

Our culture idealizes independence as the ultimate success, when it’s not. Consider the self-made man or do-it-yourself or the exalted lone hero’s journey.    

      Dependence (You)

When we become caught at the dependence state of maturation, we rely on others or the situation to meet our needs for safety and pleasure, to take care of us, and to take charge or create changes we want.

We abdicate responsibility for our lives to others to develop a victim mentality. It can be insidious, too.

As Dr. Michele Brennan writes, “Evidence of this is seen in individuals who cannot make decisions for themselves, they are afraid to speak their minds, or to advocate for themselves because they need someone to lead them.”

      Independence (I)

When we individuate towards independence, we take responsibility for the thoughts and actions required to meet our needs and wants as we’ve identified them. We are self-sufficient and self-reliant.

While we must arrive here to break our dependence, remaining as an island in an interconnected world is not the highest expression of success, consciousness or fulfillment.

Independence focuses only on your needs and desires, can quickly fall into scarcity mindset, and does not place supporting others and being supported as core.

At the independence mindset, we’re also prepared for others to lose so we can win. We’re more likely to feel others are in competition or detractive to our goals.

A recent meme emphasis has been “Ultra-independence is a trauma response”—and that could be seen as an individual, national and cultural wound.

      Interdependence (We)

Interdependence “comes with the self actualization that we are strong to stand on our own but we are wise enough to understand there is even greater strength in developing a community,” writes Brennan.

At the level of interdependence, we realize that our personal growth and fulfillment is not distinct from, or at odds with, lifting others up, but rather in accord with it.

As Michael Timms writes, “Interdependence is the understanding that your welfare and ultimate success is inextricably connected to the welfare and success of those around you.”

Beyond accountability for yourself, you take accountability for our inherent interdependence and your personal impact on the greater whole.

This is the “we” phase – as written in PM Today – “where the independent adult chooses to increase their circle of concern beyond themselves, to include ever widening groups of people.”

Individuals and organizations that come from this place view themselves as one part of a system of many interconnected parts, all impacting on each other.

How We See Ourselves and the World

Research shows that people with a self-construal as an independent entity will view internal attributes as core to who they are—their “traits, abilities, values and attitudes.”

Whereas people with an interdependent self-construal will view “close relationships, social roles and group members“ as central to their sense of self—personal meaning is contingent upon belonging to the interrelated whole.

Independence mindsets are overall associated with Western European and North American cultures and interdependence mindsets with East Asian and Latin American cultures.

When it comes to perceptual tendencies, people with independent mindsets pay more attention to the focal element of a scene (a bridge in a forest). People with interdependent mindsets pay attention to the context of the whole scene (forest with bridge).

In research, this means that a Westerner will notice small changes to the focal element (bridge) faster. Those from East Asian cultures will notice changes to the context faster (forest). The changes we don’t notice are called our change blindness.

Breaking from strict cultural divides, researchers found that it’s possible to nudge our perception to view the world more interdependently. Even by attuning to the interdependent pronouns “we” and “our” and “us” rather than “you” or “I” or “me” in articles, Westerners became more sensitive to detect the changes in the bigger picture.

The frames through which we think and think of ourselves impact how we perceive the world. The more we focus on our interconnection, the more attention we pay to context and the bigger picture.

Leading From Interdependence

Independent level leadership may refuse to take responsibility for problems or try to shoulder it all alone, may focus on being the solo hero, may raise executive salaries to exorbitant levels, may focus on the organizational win without considering the true ripple effect of the means.

“At best, independent people who choose not to progress to the next level of maturity will be valuable individual contributors,” according to The Ghannad Group, “and at worst, they will contribute to the counterproductive creation and maintenance of silos that prevent effective collaboration.”

“The moment you step from independence into interdependence in any capacity, you step into a leadership role,” wrote Covey.

Ghannad Group writes that “achieving interdependence requires intentionality and insight, courage and humility”—and embodying an interdependent, transformative leader mindset requires “abundance mentality”, “empathy and understanding”, and a “servant’s heart.”

At the interdependent leader level, you grow to adopt some of Covey’s approaches: Your philosophy of human interaction is win/win, seeing life as “cooperative not competitive”— seeking solutions and agreements that offer mutual benefit for all stakeholders concerned, because it’s always the most effective approach.

You seek to understand a situation before seeking to be understood and demonstrate real emotional intelligence. You foster synergistic group collaboration, which allows the collective whole to be greater than the sum of the independent parts and gives birth to new creativity and paradigms.

You seek solution-space for problems which are not your direct responsibility such as crisis, because they are impacting upon the whole.

Interdependent leaders come from a place of acceptance, curiosity and abundance mindset rather than judgement, fear and scarcity thinking.

You have confidence in “being enough” so that you can humbly call on the unique gifts and talents from everyone without judgment, raising everyone up as you rise in your leadership acumen to create the most synergistic, creative and expansive solutions.

You’re dependable, but it’s not about you. Being interdependent as a leader means the strength of knowing your own talents and embracing the vulnerability that nobody can be or do it all themselves.

We need each other and embracing the accountability of that interdependence is the most effective, fulfilling and mature path for humanity—and leadership.

By Aimee Hansen

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Voice of Experience: Lisa Atlas Genecov, Partner, Katten

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Trust your instincts and let them guide you, advises Katten’s Lisa Atlas Genecov.  Her instincts lit the way to a path that has allowed her to have a fulfilling career and simultaneously raise a family.

Finding Success Through Forging An Alternate Way

Genecov began her law career in Dallas as a Mergers and Acquisitions attorney, with stints at several large regional and national law firms.  After her youngest child, now 26, was born, she decided it was time to downshift for a period, and she began to work three days a week for a smaller firm. 

“I didn’t want to miss all those important milestones that my kids would have, but I didn’t want to stop working completely,” she notes, echoing a common theme among many working moms.  At the smaller firm, she found herself handling numerous healthcare transactions, along with her general M&A work, and realized how much she enjoyed it. She pivoted to the health care space, and it soon became 100% of the focus of her legal practice.

When Genecov decided to return back to a larger firm and a full-time practice three (3) years later, she maintained that specialty, eventually becoming the firm’s Health Care Practice Group leader.  Looking back, she has come to appreciate the fact that transitioning to part-time status led to the most rewarding shift for her career—not only did she have more time with her kids, but it allowed her the opportunity to try something new which propelled her practice into a different and very busy direction, just as health care reform came into focus and the Affordable Care Act was later signed into law, dramatically reshaping the country’s health care landscape.

About eight months after Katten opened its Dallas office in February 2018, Genecov joined the firm as Co-Chair of its National Health Care Practice Group. She came to Katten with two female lateral partners – Cheryl Camin Murray and Kenya Woodruff – both of whom she has respected and known for years but they hadn’t practiced together.  They established Katten’s first Health Care practice in Dallas, counseling health care providers in connection with major transactions and regulatory issues while working closely with the firm’s white collar attorneys on health care litigation matters. 

“I’m proud that I came together with these other partners to grow our complementary practices,” Genecov says.  “It’s exciting to be working at a growing and successful office of a well-respected national law firm and health care practice where I enjoy working with my colleagues every day.  And along with that, I’m proud to have been able to maintain a robust and satisfying career while raising two awesome kids who have become two awesome adults.”

Succeeding in the Balancing Act

In fact, Genecov believes that one of the biggest issues for women when choosing a place to work—whether it’s a firm, public service or in-house position—is to make sure you are well supported at your workplace, but also at home if you are planning to raise a family. 

It’s important to proactively find mentors and sponsors at the start of and throughout your career, she said.  “Look for mentors who are good at helping you in particular aspects of your career. If there’s a job that’s not working, find one that better suits your needs, and don’t be afraid of making a change,” she says, pointing to her own experience as the catalyst for a positive new path. “I wasn’t afraid to take an opportunity if it seemed like the right one.”

Along the way she has appreciated the people who have helped her, and for that reason Genecov says she always tries to be a good mentor to other women lawyers, some of whom are now in the C-suite in-house or in legal departments of large companies, of which she’s very proud.  

Diversity has always been a key value for Genecov. In fact, at her prior firm she was chief diversity officer, where she felt she was able to make a positive impact on retention and advancement.  She’s also invested in helping ensure the success of the next generation and pleased that Katten recently moved its Dallas office to the Uptown “Park District” area. “We are always looking for ways we can appeal to what younger attorneys value, and our high-tech, flexible office that focuses on green space will help us to successfully do that.”

In addition to her busy practice, Genecov is president of the Executive Committee and a founding member of the Center for Women in Law at the University of Texas, which helps to advance women at all phases of the legal profession.  For many years, she has also been an active volunteer and Board Member with the Jewish Federation of Greater Dallas.

Now that her children are adults, she and her husband continue to find meaningful ways to spend time together; often traveling to places, including Europe and Colorado, as well as enjoying sporting events and music closer to home.  “I’m so proud of my kids, and the best part is that we really enjoy one another’s company,” she says.

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Experience Business and Personal Success in 2019 with a “Legacy-Driven” Mindset

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happy-woman-at-work-mental-health
Making an impact will be just as important as making an income is central to adopting a “Legacy-Driven mindset” and that becomes crucial to long-term success in both our business and personal lives.

In watching how people navigate the landscape of their business and personal lives, I believe that women have a better sense of how to adopt and implement this way of life because women always seem to be in charge of balancing the life and work dance—and like Ginger Rogers with Fred Astaire, they can also do it backwards.

Why a “Legacy-Driven Mindset” is Not a Strategy or Tactic

The “Legacy-Driven mindset” is deciding what is truly important in the entirety of your life—and then living it. Why is this crucial to long-term success in our working and personal lives? Thinking about long-term successes rather than short term fulfillment keeps you focused on your specified path during times of chaos and uncertainty. And because your actions are rooted in a much bigger picture of how you should live your life, you won’t be pulled willy-nilly by every capricious whim and wind that comes your way.

“Living Your Legacy”—In my writing and speaking to groups about my book, The Legacy Letters, I came to the realization one day that legacy was not the sum total of who and of what you left behind in your life but how you “walk your talk” or “live your legacy” in all your words and actions. This long-term outlook—this legacy-driven outlook—is what gives purpose to your priorities. Thoreau wrote: “Simplify, simplify, simplify.” I would rather it be: “Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.”

The “Ginger Rogers” Syndrome—Why is it so important to prioritize in this life? Because we’ve come to believe that everything we do, all the time, is important. That if we could only answer the next e-mail, text the text message, race to the next meeting, buy the next new thing, go on the perfect vacation, dot every “i” perfectly and cross every “t” like precision, then we would win the race, become the perfect person, and get the gold star for doing the most things in a twenty-four period of time. And as so many professional women know the “Ginger Rogers” syndrome, they still can do it backwards. But this perfection is false prioritizing. It is just checking boxes. And when you reach the end of your life, are you happy that you checked so many boxes so well?

The Regret Test—When I speak to audiences about legacy-driven life, I ask them to take a simple test that I call “The Regret Test.” Imagine you’re ninety years old and now can look back on your life and find all the regrets you have. Imagine talking to yourself right now at the age your and say, “Why are you still at that “great” job making a ton of money and being totally miserable?” or “Why don’t you leave that idiot boyfriend and find someone who loves you, or really wants to have kids with you, or loves you being the CEO of your company?” or “Why don’t you go live in Colorado or France like you’ve always wanted?”

Then you continue the conversation: “I’m here to tell you as your ninety-year old self, you are going down a long path to unhappiness and ultimately will have more regrets than not. And I’m here to tell you that it really sucks to have more regrets at the end of your life when you could have easily decided not to have gone down the path of most regrets. You could have decided to live your life and not the life everyone else wanted you to live. Because, at the end of the day—or the end of your life—if you can’t say to yourself, I’ve done a good job of living well, then you really have blown it.”

Now that’s one powerful conversation to have with yourself.

Bio:

Carew Papritz is the 5-Time award-winning author of the inspirational book, The Legacy Letters, which was featured last month in INC.: 5 Gifts That Will Do Good Long After You Buy Them

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8 Tips to Get Success in Your First Interview

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People waiting for an interview

Guest contributed by Susan Saurel

First round interviews help employers select a smaller pool of most qualified candidates for their open job positions.

For this reason, they’re typically less thorough than the second or third interview rounds. Still, your job of preparing for the first interview isn’t any easier. Your goal is always to make a terrific impression and to perfectly convey why you are the best fit for the job they’re trying to fill. Good, solid preparation is key to success, so here are our tips on how to make sure you always bring your A-game:

1. Do Your Homework. Know Who You Talk to

Not knowing enough about the company you’re interviewing for is one of the biggest mistakes you can make in a job interview. Company research is a critical part of the preparation process.

Start with the company’s website; study their About page, their mission and top executives; get to know their products and services; and read current press releases to stay up to date with what’s going on in the company now. You can also “google” the company, check their blogs, social media, and read reviews from clients, current and former employees to get a feel of “who” the company is and how you can embody a similar personality during the interview.

2. Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses for this Particular Role

Take time to analyze the job posting, the in-depth position description, the required set of skills, knowledge, professional and personal qualities that the employer considers critical for success at the workplace. Then, do your best to answer the question “Why am I the perfect fit for this job?”. Identify the unique qualities about you, including your expertise, relevant certificates and professional qualifications, as well as specific examples for when you’ve gone above and beyond to solve a problem, or accomplish what no one else has managed to do.

3. Google Yourself

Great resumes and cover letters are at the tip of your fingers with the help of essay writing help. But that’s not enough these days. Employers are also interested in your online personal brand.

Find out ahead what Google says about you, and make sure to manage and optimize your appearance online so it won’t hold you back from that dream job you want. If there’s anything negative about you that you cannot fix, you’ll be able to have a ready response that clarifies employers’ concerns. Try not to get too defensive though, but simply respond and move on to the next question.

4. Prepare Answers to The Most Common Interview Questions

Industry giants like Google, Bain & Co., and Amazon, are known for surprising their applicants with unusual and confusing interview questions. However, most of the other companies will generally stick to their lists of common questions, like the dreading “Can you tell me a little about yourself?”, “What do you consider to be your greatest strength, and weakness?”, and “Why do you think you will be a good fit for this position?”.

Prepare good answers to a list of most likely questions. The “tell me about yourself” part is just a warm-up, so don’t waste your best points on it; just briefly cover your early years, education, work history, and most recent career experience. When you talk about your weaknesses you want to have a positive twist to it. Mention something you struggle with but work on improving, like taking on leadership roles to tackle the fear of public speaking.

5. Write Down a Few Smart Questions to Ask at The End of the Interview

Interviews are two-way conversations. By the end of it you’ll get a chance to ask your own questions, and gain better understanding of the company you’re about to join and your particular role in it. This is a great opportunity to engage in a meaningful conversation and show your interviewer that you care about the position.

Write down two or three thoughtful, open-ended questions, to make sure you end the interview strong and differentiate yourself from the rest of the candidates. Some great examples include:

  • What do you like best about your job and working for this company?
  • How would you describe the work culture at the office?
  • What is the typical career path for someone in this role?
6. Practice Makes It Perfect!

Now that you have your questions and answers ready, it’s time to practice them to perfection. This doesn’t mean learning them by heart, but rather keeping in mind the important bullet points so you can stay calm and not scrambling for an answer while in the hot interview seat.

Do mock interviews with a friend, colleague, or a career coach, and practice speaking clearly and concisely, listing your most relevant skills, experiences and achievements. Answering the question “What can you bring to this position?” will be a lot easier if practiced then when doing it the first time.

7. Dress for Success!

First impression can make or break a business, and your outside appearance is a large portion of it. Prepare a professional looking wardrobe that fits the culture of the organization. For men the dress code is usually pretty straightforward; a suit and a tie is always a sure thing. Women can wear a dress, a skirt and a blouse, or some elegant pants with a shirt. Keep accessories, jewelry and make-up to a minimum. Make sure your outfit is clean and ironed, your hair is tidy, and your shoes are shinning.

When you look your best you also feel your best, and feeling good about yourself helps boost your confidence, which is crucial for nailing an interview.

8. Arrive Ready and On Time, Get Comfortable, and Stay Positive

Prepare extra copies of your resume, samples of previous quality work, a reference list, and some paper and pens to jot down notes. Make sure to always arrive on time, or at least 15 minutes before the interview to allow yourself some time to settle, and possibly observe the dynamics of the workplace you’re about to join.

Practice calming your nerves and getting relaxed before the interview, as this will improve your confidence in the eyes of the hiring manager. Remind yourself that not getting the job is the worst thing that can happen.

Oftentimes the first interview will not be your last interview. After the first round companies will follow up with a second or even a third interview round to get to their best candidate. Stick to these basics, prepare well, and you can be sure that all your interviews are a success.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Carving Out Your Time – Simplifying for Success

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Guest contributed by Daria Rippingale, CEO, BillPro

simplifying

Image via Shutterstock

Recently I was having a drink with a friend of mine and she was telling me about her newest obsession, the New York Times best seller The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. In it she describes a method of decluttering your home that, according to Kondo, refocuses your mind and your life on the things that “spark joy” for you. Essentially, all of the items in your home should bring you some level of joy, while not adding to your stress, so that you can focus on the most important elements of your life.

The end goal is having a home that is clutter free and creates a relaxing environment. Each possession that takes up space should be meaningful – every piece of clothing, every book, every trinket is chosen with purpose and conviction. Anything that gets in the way of the end goal, anything that isn’t regularly used or doesn’t bring happiness, gets tossed.

I left that conversation thinking about clearing out the clutter in our personal lives and how that applies to our work lives, too. We hear the phrase “Do more with less” all the time, but I cringe at the idea of what that traditionally means – longer hours, the same amount of work done by fewer people and usually a drop in quality as a result.

I know from my own experience that with a little practice and some creative ideas, you can streamline your days, making every minute of your work-life meaningful and therefore less stressful and more effective. De-cluttering your work and even your company will allow you to live the true spirit of “doing more with less”.

Below are a few of my essential strategies:

Hone in on your objectives
Firstly, be clear about your goals and objectives, both for you and for your company. Having the destination in mind will make the trip a lot quicker. To continue the travel analogy, your goals are like your True North on a compass. True North is the objective to which all your projects should lead.

Take time to muse over what those goals and objectives might be. Try setting aside time, once a week, to get away from the rush of the office and just think. It probably sounds counter-intuitive to saving time, but the results can be astonishing. Take a walk, sit with a notepad in a quiet room, or do anything where you won’t have too many distractions, allowing you to fully focus on your thoughts. Stepping back from the daily grind, even for 15 minutes, lets you focus on what is really important.

Once you’re clear on where you’re going, it becomes easier to look at your current and upcoming projects and use your compass to guide you towards True North. Focus on the projects that will move you towards your destination. The others are just “busy work” and will only act as barriers to achieving the important things that do “spark joy”. Merely being busy isn’t the same as being productive. Activity doesn’t necessarily equal results.

Ensure that your team is clear on what their objectives are too. Communicate with them as to how their individual projects will lead to the desired destination. Empower them to identify “busy work” and to ask questions about processes and projects that don’t seem to fit with what the organization is trying to achieve.

Simplify Your Work Day

Clearing the decks of focus-stealing “busy work” will recover lost time at the macro level. Simplifying your day-to-day work stream will recover that time at the micro level. Start by eliminating the two biggest hindrances to your productivity – emergencies (that rarely are) and interruptions.

Start each day by looking at your to-do list and calendar, not your email. This sets your mind in motion on what needs to be done instead of what has already happened. Take a few minutes to order your task list for the day. Be sure to tag tasks that are high value and focus towards True North, not just urgent. Completing the high value tasks will return greater rewards on the time you invest in them.

The next time thief to tackle is interruptions, and the biggest culprit here is email. Email is like a spoiled child who wants your attention, and they want it now.

Start minimizing the impact email has on your day by turning off email alerts. If you’re like me, you know there is a never ending stream of messages, so there really is no need to be constantly reminded. Allow yourself 15-20 minutes for checking in and responding to your emails in between larger tasks, making it a welcome distraction rather than an annoyance.

When you’re ready to corral your email even more, consider the advice of Tim Ferriss from The 4-Hour Work Week. He suggests only checking your email twice a day and using an auto responder stating the times you intend to review messages. For emergencies, they can always call.

Lastly, take 30 minutes before you finish up to reflect on the day. Examine what you accomplished, and what the value of those tasks were. Check your calendar for upcoming meetings and deadlines. This keeps you in that proactive state of mind instead of reactive, and prevents you from feeling anxious about the next day’s tasks.

If you want to do more with the time available to you, start by taking the time to focus on your True North – what’s important to your own goals and to the company. Use this as a compass to guide everything you do. Remove those projects that are simply “busy work” and concentrate on the tasks that move you forward. I believe that focusing on objectives and on simplifying everything has truly been integral to my success in leading the BillPro team on the journey of rapid growth. Certainly, without a sharp focus on the destination, we would not be in this position today.

BillPro CEO Daria Rippingale is considered a global authority on merchant processing. As an industry leader in e-commerce innovation, her fresh thinking regarding international payments and risk reduction has brought thousands of previously unserved merchants into the global marketplace. Follow on Twitter @BillProPayments

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Should You Say No to Networking?

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Guest Contributed by Kelly Hoey

Networking

Image via Shutterstock

Warren Buffett and Bill Gates attributed their success to one factor. According to Buffett biographer Alice Schroeder, in 1991 when Bill Gates’ dad asked Buffett and Gates what the most important factor for their success was, they both gave the same answer, “FOCUS.”
 
Focus always comes before success.
 
Steve Jobs, no slouch in the success department himself, said that
“it’s only by saying No that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” 
 
Success is not possible without a clear focus on what matters most and the ability to concentrate your energy, thought and capital. In other words, a key to success is learning to say NO. No to personal and professional invites, business networking events, conferences, industry get-togethers, meetups. All the things you instinctively want to say yes to. I know it’s hard to say no – you feel guilty, you don’t want to disrespect the host, you want to look like a team player, you feel like you’ll miss out on something interesting or you’re afraid that if you say NO you’ll never be invited again.
 
But here’s the key: Ask yourself if that event you’re thinking about attending today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow. By staying focused on where you’re headed, you’ll be able to figure out whether saying no will get you further ahead or is simply an excuse that’s holding you back.
 
2015 was my year of no. I said no to pretty much everything as I was singularly focused on getting a book deal. This project needed my undivided attention, so no it was. I needed to focus and didn’t want distractions. Did I miss opportunities? Maybe. But saying no at this juncture of my career was the right thing to do. That has not always been the case. Saying no at other points in my career would have been a career-killer.
 
When entrepreneur Rachel Hofstetter was growing her business, she knew the strength of her network was dependent on her selectively and strategically saying yes. Rachel founded Guesterly (acquired in 2015 by photo-book subscription service Chatbooks) an on-line service which extends the warm hand of the host by connecting guests before a big event.
 
She focused her networking efforts by keeping both long-term and shorter-term goals in mind. When she was getting ready to raise investment money, Rachel prioritised attending investor and start-up-focused events. When she moved to a new city, she found herself attending every type of event she could, in order to meet people. Expanding her network was why she accepted every invitation and checked out every event, rather than turning them down. When she launched Guesterly into the wedding market (an industry where she previously knew no one), she attended every wedding-industry-related event she could find, in order to figure out exactly where she needed to focus her networking efforts.
 
At this point in her career, she knew not to say no. She knew that her network mattered just as much as the quality of her work. If someone asked if she wanted to head to happy hour- yes. Grab a group lunch? Yes. Those people moved around jobs and industries and that network made introductions that led her somewhere amazing.
 
So, yes, there are networking opportunities you should never say no to, especially in the workplace. Universally saying you will never attend networking events at work is—not to be too dramatic here—career suicide. Never say no to opportunities to get to know your peers and colleagues.
 
Job pressures and competition keep too many of us in our cubicles from the moment we step off the elevator to the minute we run out the door. One Wall Street investment banker I knew regularly ordered in pizza for his group, as a way to bring the team together. This was no “free” lunch: pizza was ordered (and he happily paid for it each week) on the condition that no one could eat alone. It doesn’t take much to break down communication barriers and build team rapport. In twenty minutes you can accomplish more than consuming a slice or two of pizza— you can build relationships.
 
You need to be strategic and sometimes rather selective in which work-related networking events you choose to attend, but don’t apply a universal no to opportunities to share your knowledge with colleagues beyond the radius of your cubicle, or to being further informed of developments in your chosen profession.
 
There are many, many, many ways to limit your career opportunities; take “no to networking” off that list.
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and views of our Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com
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The Power of Slowing Down: Three ways to “Slow Down” and “Speed Up” Your Success

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Slowing downGuest contributed by Jennifer Noel Taylor

Too much to do, too little time: this seems to be the mantra of our age. We all have too many emails, too many phone calls, and constantly feel pulled in a million directions.

And the stress of success can take an incredible toll on our health. A study released by researchers at Harvard Business School and Stanford University found that stress at work is just as damaging to a person’s health as secondhand smoke.

And if we want to advance in the workspace, do we all need to sacrifice our family life to do it? In her book “All Joy and No Fun, Jennifer Senior polled working parents with college degrees and discovered that 65 percent of them found it difficult to balance job and family.

So what is the answer to achieving your career goals without sacrificing your health and family life to get there?

Define What Success Means For You

Are you loving the life that you love? What really matters to you? Do you dream of having a family, a house on the beach, helping others?

Oftentimes we lose touch with our real dreams in the manic shuffle of life. Perhaps your heart-felt goals were deemed “unrealistic” or buried beneath the criticism of friends and family. So dig up those dreams and take the time every day to “slow down” and connect with what uniquely inspires you.

Connecting with what matters is the best time management tool you could ever have. When you prioritise your time based on what you love, you may find that your workload naturally dwindles. You can easily eliminate the counterproductive items in your task list when you are stay connected to your top priorities in life.

Keep it Simple

Warren Buffet’s best business advice to Bill Gates was: “Keep Things Simple.” Simplicity has many implications and it’s an incredible secret to managing time, saving money, and eliminating drama.
One aspect of simplicity is the art of being fully present in the moment. It’s amazing how we can sit together in a meeting and yet be thinking of that ever expanding task list or browsing out bottomless inbox. And yet this simple act of full presence is not only refreshing, it can save an incredible amount of time and energy. When you are distracted, it’s nearly impossible to fully understand someone, fully comprehend a situation, or even sense if someone is telling a lie. Being fully aware, thoroughly hearing others, and assimilating the nuances of a situation leads to win/win negotiations, healthy decisions and a balanced bottom line.

Simplicity also applies to policies, procedures, and products. Challenges are an opportunity to evaluate the complexity of what lies beneath the challenge: has the overall structure become too complex or is the product too hard to use?

Take Care of Yourself

What does self-care have to success? Everything! You are not a disembodied mind floating in a tank; your true power lies within every cell of your body. Although much of our work these days involves intellectual prowess, optimal function of the mind requires optimal care of the body!

When your body is healthy, you are able to perform at your peak, connect deeply with what matters, and be fully present. When you take care of yourself, you can maximize your productivity, and avoid burnout, illness and fatigue.

So if you take the time to “slow down”, eat right and take care of yourself, you will save time and energy in the long run.

What is Time, Really?

Time is a strange thing; it has the ability to expand and contract seemingly at our will. We wish time would slow down when we are doing what we love. And we curse how slow the clock is moving when we’re bored at a meeting.

And although it has the ability to expand and contract, the irony is: our time here on earth is so very limited. And so in the end, if we take the time to “slow down,” we maximize the time we do have, so we have the time to do what matters.

Jennifer Noel Taylor, is the author of Love Incorporated: The Business of Doing What You Love.

In her book, she helps you connect with your innate wisdom and pursue your true calling in life. As the CEO of Quantum-Touch Inc. she helps people achieve optimal wellness through energy medicine. She has grown Quantum-Touch from a small company into a multinational corporation based on a foundation of integrity and compassion.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of our Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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4 Steps to Put Positive Thinking Into Action for Success At Work

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happy working womenYou’ve heard about the power of positive thinking and the perils of negative thinking, but when it comes to your ability to reach goals or make dreams happen, the polarities of positive and negative thinking may matter less than getting the friction right between them.

In her HBR article, Gabrielle Oettingen, professor of psychology at NYU and University of Hamburg who has studied human motivation for twenty years, suggests that while negative thinking will never deliver you at the doorstep to your next goal, positive thinking – especially in the form of fantasizing about outcomes – hides some dangerous pitfalls that could keep you from the stairs.

Positive Outcome versus Pursuit

Achieving a goal takes some muster in walking the steps to get there. Even if they are small steps, it’s important to energize yourself towards taking them.

In their research paper, Kappes & Oettingen discuss that “positive fantasies do not lead people to anticipate having to exert cumbersome effort. Instead, positive fantasies allow people to embellish idealized paths to idealized future outcomes.”

Imagining yourself having already coasted without obstacle to your goal can be counterproductive. You mentally feel as though you’ve already arrived at your goal in the present moment, so you relax rather than energize. This can “obscure the need to invest effort in tasks that demand effort.”

Kappes & Oettingen found that fantasizing about a positive outcome can inhibit generating the energy you need to pursue it. They observed that positive fantasies about outcomes created lower physiological (systolic blood pressure) and behavioral energization than negative or neutral fantasies. The research showed “a causal relationship between positive fantasies about desired futures and low energy devoted to their realization.”

As Oettingen writes in HBR, “You’re less motivated to buck up and make the strong, persistent effort that is usually required to realize challenging but feasible wishes.”

They found, “Instead of promoting achievement, positive fantasies will sap job-seekers of the energy to pound the pavement, and drain the lovelorn of the energy to approach the one they like. Fantasies that are less positive – that question whether an ideal future can be achieved, and that depict obstacles, problems, and setbacks – should be more beneficial for mustering the energy needed to attain actual success.”

Easy versus Hard Steps

In further research, Kappes, Sharma & Oettingen found that when potential donors to charitable causes were encouraged to fantasize an ideal resolution to a current problem, they were less willing to put bigger and meaningful resources into actually helping address the problem.

When the demands for time or money were easy, or required relatively few resources, the positive thinkers were in step with the control group. But when the problem asked for more commitment from them – more time, more money, more effort – they folded. Since they’d already fantasized the ideal future as true, the effort to get there seems “overly demanding” now.

Fantasizing about the ideal outcome can mean not only failing to build up the energy to move towards it but also at some level rejecting that it should require significant energy and resources. That’s no recipe for being the agent of your dreams, wishes, or goals.

Positivity Gone Sour

As Oettingen writes in the European Review of Social Psychology, fantasies about attaining a positive future predict low effort and little success. What happens when you fantasize that a future outcome is highly accessible to you and yet your reality fails to meet it – possibly because you never harnessed the necessary drive and resolve to get there?

The opposite of positivity. The more we fail to reach the outcomes we believe should be accessible to us, the more it grinds us down. Oettingen notes, “Low effort and little success translate into more depressive symptoms over time.” This is whether it comes to an external goal (writing that book) or a personal desire (creating more healthy boundaries).

Unrealistic optimism has a habit of ending in hurt, when success doesn’t walk on over and take you by the hand to skip away into tomorrow, the way it did (kind of) in your mind.

“Mental Contrasting” – Put the Positivity into the Process

Rather than solely “indulging” in thoughts of a positive future or solely “dwelling” in the obstacles of a present reality, Oettingen has put forth both in papers and in her book Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation that the power is in “mentally contrasting” the two.

Oettingen developed the process “W-O-O-P”: “Wish-Outcome-Obstacle-Plan.” Her book applies this process to three areas: health, personal and professional relationships, and performing at work.

Step #1 Wish

First, you bring the wish you have for the future to mind, a goal or change that is challenging but possible to achieve in a certain time frame. Maybe it’s getting the lead role on a project team.

Steo #2 Outcome

Second, you let your mind run with fantasizing about the future if your wish came true – what does the best possible outcome feel like? Maybe you imagine yourself in the position and handling it brilliantly, feeling confident and strong.

Step #3 Obstacle

Then, you mentally elaborate on the current reality that stands in the way of realizing this future – what obstacles exist? Bringing up obstacles isn’t negativity – it’s taking a glance at the map so you plan your route strategically. Oettingen advises to ask yourself, “”What is it in me that stands in the way?” simply because you can’t control others. Maybe you realize you have a tendency to undermine the critical role you play in the team’s success because you focus on enabling them.

Step #4 Plan

Make a plan for how you can overcome the obstacle. When it comes to overcoming ingrained behaviors or dealing with specific obstacle scenarios, Oettingen suggests using an implementation intervention such as an “if/then” statement. For example, “If I talk about the team’s success, I’ll play up my personal approach to getting the best results from a team.”

Through Mental Contrasting, Oettingen and Schwörer argue that you are now linking the future to the reality: “It creates determined goal pursuit, reveals the critical situation (obstacle of reality), and links the reality with the instrumental action to overcome the reality (goal-directed action).”

If you have high expectations on being able to overcome the reality, this leads to increased effort, more engagement, and hence more success. The positivity comes in being able to envision yourself taking agency in overcoming the obstacles to make your wish attainable.

On the other hand, if the “WOOP” practice reveals low expectations in being able to overcome obstacles, you may want to discern to put your resources and attention elsewhere.

When we hone our positive thinking power towards our ability to take each necessary step towards our wishes – even the challenging ones that ask for our strength, humility, or perseverance- then positivity can stop being only a beacon in the distance, or a warm feeling for something we’ve yet to do, and become a guiding light that keeps us moving on the path to what we most want.

By Aimee Hansen

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Most Likely to Succeed: What matters most when you are trying to get ahead

Elegant leaderChoosing the right company is important for everyone, but in today’s job market, it is tempting and more acceptable to move around from one company to the next. Although this kind of job-hopping may not carry the same stigma it used to, according to a new study from the Harvard Business Review, How Female CEO’s Actually Get to the Top, the most common path of the Fortune 500’s female CEO’s is one of long-term employment at one company, moving ahead from within.

The median long stint for these women CEOs is 23 years spent at a single company before becoming the CEO, compared to only 15 years for men. This means that for women, the long climb is over 50% longer than for their male peers. In addition, 71% of the female CEOs were promoted as long-term insiders versus only 48% of the male CEOs.

This means that it is especially important for women in the middle of their careers to find the best possible fit when looking to advance their career at their company or someplace new.

Finding the right company to go the distance with

Sharon Hadary who co-authors with Laura Henderson the book How Women Lead: The 8 Essential Strategies Successful Women Know believes that the importance of finding a company whose values match your own is key. In order to understand just what your values are—beyond the friendly HR language—she suggested women “look for the factual evidence that companies are supportive of women and that it’s not just words”. This means finding out how many women are in senior positions, hold positions on boards, and are involved in company supported networking groups. Hadary is not without cynicism however as it is really important to see how the rubber meets the road beyond programmatic solutions and comments,

“I always worry about women in programs, lots of companies will talk about their programs they have for women, but do they really put it into practice?”

Bonnie Marcus, author of The Politics of Promotion, echoes Hadary’s concerns. We asked her how women can really tell the difference between companies who are paying lip-service to diversity and those that truly support women. In addition to Hadary’s points, Marcus suggests noting whether or not women have P&L responsibility.

“Many companies will boast that they have promoted women to assume leadership roles, but when you take a good look at the organizational chart you may discover that these positions do not come with any fiscal responsibility. In other words, the company may have gendered roles even at the senior level.”

This is closely linked to her next suggestion, which is to make sure you have an understanding of women’s power and influence in the overall operations and strategy of the company. She suggests finding out the role women play in the overall operations and strategy of the company.

“Do they have any involvement in setting the direction of the company? Do women at all levels sit on committees that have a voice with senior management?”

According to Bloomberg Businessweek, this second point is one of the primary reasons there aren’t more women at the tippy top of the corporate ladder—they are not in operational positions that will give them the necessary experience for making the kinds of decisions that impact the company’s bottom line. Instead, they tend to rise to the top of functional departments, like human resources or finance. In fact, their numbers show 55% of the women in senior positions of the S&P’s 500 head these kinds of functional departments. When paired with the fact that 94% of these same companies’ CEO’s were in senior management positions of operations—like the development of product lines—immediately before making that final leap to the top, it seems especially important to find a company that already has women in these senior roles.

Recently, the Glass Hammer reported on how women can best make the transition back to work after taking a break. Business Insider reports that the unconscious bias associated with women who have children—that their commitment to their children will outweigh their commitment to their work—remains a large factor in their overall career progress. So, if you are planning to have a family one day, you may also want to note how many of the senior female executives have children and get a sense of their overall experience. The conversation about working mothers tends to revolve around work-life balance, but there is more to it than just finding time for car pool and illness. It’s about giving mothers the responsibility of projects that have a direct impact on the bottom line.

Finally, Marcus suggests finding out whether or not their programs and networks meant to support women actually have a budget.

“Many of these programs lack any financial support which most likely indicates the company is paying lip service to supporting the advancement of women. Very little can be accomplished without money or executive sponsorship.”

There is no telling the future, and there is no sure fire road to the top. And yes, you may do everything right, follow the rules, be assertive, engage men, find a mentor and take every other piece of advice given, and still not make it. Sometimes, the numbers are just that tough and the intentions that hard to decipher. These hard facts are all the more reason to be focused, be smart and do your research when looking for that next job—it is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. And even though it can be fun to hop around, and even a good idea early in your career, but eventually, your best chances of getting ahead will be found when you commit to a company that is equally committed to you.

By Rebecca S. Caum

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The Formula for Selling Anybody, Anything, Anytime

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women salesHere’s the thing: sometimes we’re selling our ideas, sometimes we’re selling our products and, these days, many of us are selling ourselves as the best candidate for the job/as the person who deserves a promotion. With this in mind, here’s the proven formula for selling your best self to anybody, anywhere, anytime.

First: Yale University did a study of the 12 most persuasive words in the English language. What they discovered is that the most persuasive word in the English language is “you.” Consequently, I recommend throwing it around a lot: “As I’m sure you know,” “As I’m sure you’ve heard,” “I wanted to talk to you today,” etc.

Second: California-based Social Psychologist Ellen Langer revealed that there is one word in the English language that increases the possibility of cooperation from 60 to 94%. No, that is not a typo. I will repeat: 60 to 94%. This word is “Because.”

Lastly: “The Duncan Hines Cake Mix Marketing Theory.” When Duncan Hines first began making cake mix, the decision to have you at home add the egg was made in the marketing department. Why is this effective? Because they realized that when we add the egg we feel proud because we contributed; we can say, “I baked!” How does this work in a business scenario? You need to articulate how you can contribute to the other person’s success and/or how they can contribute to yours so that what is created becomes your shared success.

So that’s your formula: you + because + the egg = success.

Following are three different ways you can apply this formula for success

Talking to an Interviewer:

Too often we spend our interviewing time talking about why we are right for the job. This sounds a lot like, “And I just think this company would be perfect for me/would help me meet my goals.” No. What you need to be talking about is how you are going to contribute to your future boss’s/the company’s success once you are hired.

What might this sound like?

“I wanted to talk to you today because your job description/your company’s mission statement/your bestselling product is X, and my skill set/my personal passion/my sales experience is in Y. Applying the full force of my expertise to this job will enable us both to reach our goals.”

Talking to Your Boss about a Brewing “Situation”:

The use of the word “situation” here is quite deliberate. The White House doesn’t have a “Crisis Room,” they have a “Situation Room.” Likewise, you don’t have a crisis– you have a situation that needs to be resolved.

So, what would the formula for success sound like here?

“I wanted to bring a potential situation to your attention immediately because it requires expert attention. X has occurred and I have come up with the following two, possible solutions. Is there one that you prefer?”

In this instance, their egg is not as much the mention of their expert attention, but the opportunity you are giving them to apply that expertise to two possible resolution strategies. Having them to choose which they prefer (and tell you why it’s far better) not only allows them to add their egg, but to choose the temperature at which the solution is “baked.”

Talking to a Potential Target at a Networking event

Too many networking events are about what others can do for us, rather than what we can do for them. In my experience, however, the most successful networkers aren’t asking, “What can you do for me?” but “What can I do for you?” In this scenario, then, the formula would likely sound like this:

“Hello, I’m X,” (if your target is standing with another person, or in a group, introduce yourself to everyone present.) “I wanted to introduce myself because I know you are the visionary behind X idea/product/company, and I wanted to introduce you to Y/write about you in my newsletter/ask if I could help you organize your next charity event.”

As you can see, the offer doesn’t need to be huge — the fact that you made it at all is what helps you stand out. Leaving room for them to add the egg of their choice is what will ensure your successful connection.

Happy baking!

Guest Contribution by Frances Cole Jones

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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