Tag Archive for: self-awareness

Your Leadership Development Partner in 2026: How Executive Coaching Transforms Your Career Journey

,

leadership development partner - executive coachingThe workplace in 2026 demands more from leaders than ever before. Hybrid teams still require some new management approaches to engage those in the room and on the screen. An understatement is that AI is reshaping how work gets done and will get done in the future. The result is a leadership landscape defined by ambiguity, fast-shifting expectations, and relentless productivity pressure.

Against this backdrop, choosing to engage an executive coach gives leaders the opportunity to think more deliberately about how they lead and how they grow. Research suggests that executive coaching supports improvements in leadership effectiveness, self-awareness, goal clarity, and resilience. Behaviorial flexing to learning, thinking styles and task styles are capabilities and can be learned as skills and have become increasingly important as roles expand and complexity increases.

To offer a comprehensive view of executive coaching, this three-part series explores not only its potential benefits, but also what executive coaching is, how it works, and how leaders can make the most of the investment. Whether you are an executive paying for your own development or an HR professional looking for leadership development coaches and team coaching in an offsite format, we want to hear from you.

Part 1 focuses on why executive coaching matters. It reviews the evolving demands on leaders, and the concrete outcomes associated with a high-quality coaching engagement.

Part 2 looks behind the curtain at how executive coaching actually works — what happens inside a coaching relationship, how the process unfolds, and how to evaluate and select the right coach for your goals, style, and context.

Part 3 turns to how to make the most of your investment, exploring how to actively engage in coaching to accelerate growth and practical next steps to move forward.

Why Executive Coaching Matters

Corporate training budgets today remain heavily weighted toward technical skills, systems training, and compliance requirements. Leadership development, when it exists, is often episodic rather than sustained. Traditional mentorship programs have largely disappeared in remote and hybrid environments. The informal learning that once happened through hallway conversations and after-work gatherings has changed in quantity and also was never a completely consistent practice by or for all.

Meanwhile, leadership complexity has intensified. Leaders are managing teams across time zones, navigating constant technological change, making decisions with incomplete information, and doing it all while maintaining work-life integration that often feels elusive.

Engaging with an executive coach helps leaders chart a path through the complexity. It provides personalized development when organizations cannot, strategic guidance when you are facing novel challenges, and accountability when it is easy to deprioritize your own growth.

This personalized approach matters because leadership is not one-size-fits-all. The skills that make you effective are deeply connected to who you are: your values, your strengths, your communication style, your life circumstances. Coaching helps you develop leadership that is both effective and authentic.

What Executive Coaching Actually Delivers

Let’s move beyond abstractions to concrete outcomes you can expect from a quality coaching engagement:

1. Clarity That Drives Action

Given the many demands on leaders today, it is no wonder that many feel like they are operating in perpetual reaction mode: responding to emails, attending meetings, and putting out fires. Coaching creates space for leaders to step back and ask fundamental questions: What am I actually trying to achieve? What matters most? Where should I focus my limited time and energy? What does success look like for me personally, not just professionally?

This clarity becomes a decision-making filter so that when opportunities arise, you can evaluate them against your actual priorities rather than defaulting to yes or getting swept along by others’ agendas. Research shows that working with an executive coach increases goal clarity and goal attainment, helping leaders move from urgency-driven behavior to intentional, strategic action.

2. Self-Awareness That Transforms Effectiveness

You cannot see yourself the way others see you. You can’t observe your own patterns, blind spots, or the gap between your intentions and your impact. This is where coaching becomes invaluable.

Through powerful questions, reflection exercises, and sometimes formal assessments, coaching builds the self-awareness that distinguishes good leaders from great ones. You discover how your communication style lands with different people, which strengths you’re overusing or undervaluing, what triggers cause you to react rather than respond, and where your assumptions limit your possibilities. Of note, leadership research consistently links emotional intelligence, of which self-awareness is a key component, to leadership effectiveness, team cohesion, and motivation, which executive coaching helps leaders develop over time.

3. Strategies for Your Specific Challenges

Leadership challenges are often maddeningly context-specific. How do you give difficult feedback to a high performer who has behaviors that negatively effect team culture? How do you influence senior stakeholders when you lack formal authority? How do you manage your energy when your role demands constant availability? How do you make the case for promotion without seeming entitled?

Books and training programs offer general principles. Your coach helps you develop strategies tailored to your specific situation, taking into account your organizational culture, your relationships, your constraints, and your goals. Generic advice rarely moves the needle; specific strategies do.

4. Accountability That Drives Change

Knowing what to do and actually doing it are entirely different challenges. We’ve all set goals only to abandon them when the daily grind takes over. Coaching provides structure and accountability that transforms intentions into actions.

Your coach holds you accountable not through judgment but through partnership. Between sessions, you implement agreed-upon actions, experiment with new approaches, gather feedback, and track progress. They then return to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what to adjust next. This cycle of action and reflection is where lasting change occurs.

5. Resilience to Navigate Setbacks

Every career includes setbacks: projects that fail, promotions you don’t get, relationships that sour, or reorganizations that derail your plans. How you respond to these moments often matters more than the setbacks themselves.

Coaching builds resilience by helping you process challenges productively, maintain perspective, develop coping strategies for high-stress situations, learn from failure without internalizing it as identity, and sustain motivation over time. Leadership coaching has been shown to increase leaders’ confidence in navigating their roles and improve trust in their direct reports, both critical factors in bouncing back from challenges.

6. Skills That Compound Over Time

Some professional development delivers immediate returns but little lasting value. Coaching is different. The skills you develop, like emotional intelligence or communication effectiveness, compound throughout your career.

A feedback framework learned today remains useful for decades. Increased self-awareness carries across roles and organizations. Communication shifts ripple through every future relationship. This compounding effect explains why coaching continues to deliver value long after the formal engagement ends.

7. Permission to Lead Authentically

Many professionals feel pressure to conform to leadership stereotypes that do not fit who they are. The charismatic extrovert. The tough boss. The relentless competitor.

Coaching offers a third option: developing a leadership style that is both effective and authentically you. This means honoring your values while building influence, leading in ways that energize rather than drain you, using your natural strengths rather than trying to eliminate weaknesses, and building teams that complement your style rather than compensate for it. Coaching helps you lead from a place of integrity and self-knowledge rather than imitation.

8. A Thinking Partner for Complex Decisions

Senior leadership can be isolating. The higher you rise, the fewer people you can speak with candidly. Your direct reports need confidence. Your boss evaluates judgment. Your peers may compete.

An executive coach becomes a confidential thinking partner, someone without agenda or judgment, providing a confidential space to think out loud, test ideas, and consider implications before acting. Having this thinking partner is not a sign of weakness; it is a strategic advantage that many effective leaders leverage intentionally.

A Deliberate Investment in How You Lead

Executive coaching is about supporting leaders at moments when complexity increases, stakes rise, and familiar strategies no longer suffice. In a workplace defined by constant change, coaching offers something increasingly rare: time, perspective, and partnership focused entirely on how you lead and how you grow. If you are ready to be matched with one of our coaches, please book a free exploratory conversation with our Founder and Head Coach, Nicki Gilmour here: BOOK SESSION

By Nicki Gilmour, Founder and CEO, theglasshammer and Evolved People Coaching

/by

Radical Self-Trust: Eight Ways to Build Embodied Leadership (Pt. 2)

,

build trust embody leadershipAs recently covered, the prerequisite to building trust as a leader is to cultivate a deep sense of self-trust. The most important (work) relationship you have is with yourself.

Executive presence has nothing on embodied presence. When you trust yourself, you carry yourself differently. A real leader is embodied. Trusting yourself means you move with more clarity, consistency, and congruency between your values, words, actions, and outcomes.

When you internally source your power and authority, it reflects in the quality of your presence, the willingness to take decisions, the faith in your movements, and in your adaptability and resilience amidst challenges.

As Maven Miara writes, “So why do so many women leaders struggle with self-trust? Because we’ve been conditioned to seek permission instead of power. Not anymore. Self-trust fuels confident leadership.”

Here are eight ways to build your sense of self-trust, and tips on how to apply each:

1) Know Thyself

To trust yourself, you must remain true to yourself. That means a willingness to un-know yourself and re-know who you are now. This means staying connected and listening within.

Self-awareness means recognizing the beliefs, patterns, conditioning, identities, and expectations that shape how you perceive and how you show up—yet, they are not your limitations. They are protective layers.

Beneath the layers, your essential self is always there. And wherever you are living in a way that is disconnected from who you really are, the truths of your being will be seeking to reach you.

Developing self-trust means coming back to trusting your own senses, instincts, values, preferences, perspectives, and intuition. You are able to sense what feels right to and for you and to discern what is not for you. Validating your intuition and inner knowing helps you to build self-esteem. Inner congruence reflects in your vitality.

Apply: Create moments of solitude to check-in with yourself. Keep small intentional rituals such as a five minute morning meditation. Journal to insightful questions that guide you to strip away stories and reconnect with your inner voice. Practice asking yourself what your needs or preferences are.

2) Practice Compassion and Emotional Awareness

Self-trust is also built on being connected to and responsive to your emotions and creating inner safety. Speaking to relationships, Linda and Charlie Bloom write in Psychology Today that self-trust is “having the conviction that you will be kind and respectful to yourself regardless of the outcome of your efforts.”

Self-trust requires you can trust that you will not be self-punishing when making mistakes. If the inner critic is constantly blaming and berating you, you will not feel safe to experiment and learn. If you are caught at self-protection, you will be unable to examine your experience for new insights.

Yet integrating the wisdom learned through mistakes is part of building self-trust and growing. It’s hard to do that as a non-forgiving perfectionist.

When self-criticism is usurped by self-compassion—the ability to be as understanding, supportive and encouraging as you would to someone else you deeply care about—you are able to expand as a human and leader.

Apply: When feeling triggered, breathe and check in with yourself about what you need. Ignoring your needs corrodes self-trust. Practice allowing feelings to be felt and pass through you, while garnering insight they may offer.

Create a self-gratitude journal where you acknowledge what you appreciate about yourself, challenges you’ve taken on, decisions you’re proud of, wins and successes and ways you trust yourself.

3) Be In the Present

If you lack self-trust, you are caught in past ruptures of credibility or you are worrying about the future. Sometimes, you are simply looking at the entire mountain, instead of taking each step as it comes.

Either way, you are caught in stories and removing yourself from the potent present moment. And, you are displacing your personal power instead of stepping into it exactly where it is—in the here and now.

Regret, worry, or burning out to make it work can parade as certainty and be oddly comforting. We project a false guise of certainty backwards or forwards, even if it’s unwanted: I won’t follow through or I won’t succeed or if I don’t force, it won’t happen.

The familiar story may feel safer to a tightly wound nervous system than embracing uncertainty and trusting in the moment (and yourself) to guide you and give rise to the right decisions and right actions.

As the Blooms point out, the paradox is fear and worry do not exist in the present, so being in the present is the ultimate protection.

Apply: Serious question. Have you ever thought of building your tolerance levels for being in the present moment? Without distraction? What would it would mean for you?

4) Release External Validation

At some level, when you don’t trust yourself, you will feel like an imposter not just at work, but in life. So you will be caught in seeking external approval and validation.

Chronic reassurance-seeking outsources the emotional labor of fear and anxiety and is crippling to self-trust. According to Gravitas Founder, Lisa Sun, the self-sustaining confidence of knowing your worth is most common among women over 50 years old. Tempering the urge for external reassurance certainly plays into this.

The ability to intentionally examine various angles or perspectives of an issue is a gift. Chronic second-guessing is a nightmare. When you have self-compassion, you are more willing to embrace uncertainty and make decisions, because your worth is not on the line.

Apply: Before you turn to someone else for an opinion or advice, get quiet, and ask your own. You may wish to both write the question and answer yourself. You may be surprised how much wisdom you’re sitting on.

5) Honor Your Boundaries

As Paulo Coehlo wrote, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” Author Caroline Myss talks about how ‘boundaries’ emerged into our everyday social language as we began to recognize ourselves as not only physical but also energetic beings.

Boundaries matter because self-trust requires a ‘sense of self’ to trust, and a sense of self requires discernment. When you lack integrity, you can be pulled in any direction or towards any whim, regardless of whether it’s aligned or resonant to your own inner truth.

Boundaries are not to keep others out, but to keep you whole and integral. They reflect an inner valuing and authentic contract with self. Some people even create an inner boundary with their inner critic. Your boundaries discern between what resonates and nurtures your being and what does not.

Sure, you could commit to your boss, meet every deadline, and keep every promise you’ve made to your team. But let’s say you’re entirely misplaced in this area of work and burning yourself out to do it. Will you trust yourself? Well, you may trust yourself to betray yourself.

Keeping promises to others does not alone build self-trust, if the promises violate your inner knowing or are inauthentic to you. Real self-trust and organic boundaries come from being aware enough of what your inner truths and values are, and knowing that you will not betray them.

Apply: Identify where are you saying ‘yes’ when it’s truly a ‘no’ for you. What would ‘no’ feel like? Is there anywhere in life where you are violating your own boundaries?

6) Keep Your Word With Yourself

If you habitually break your word with yourself, how can you build self-trust? Lying to yourself, even in small ways, wreaks havoc within. When you don’t believe yourself, you don’t believe in yourself. But nothing builds self-trust faster than keeping your word with self.

Keeping promises with yourself means validating what matters to you and assigning this as much importance and priority as outside demands. When you meet the commitments you make with others, but always compromise the ones you made with yourself, you are sending your cells a message: you don’t matter.

If someone treats you like you’re not important to them, do you trust them? In order to rebuild self-trust, you need to treat your word with yourself at least as importantly as you do your word with others.

Identify what is really important to you, and be transparent with yourself about it. Show up consistently to yourself in small ways, and let it build, step by step, towards momentum, results, and more self-trust.

Apply: Listen in and clarify what is important to you. Where are you ignoring this? Where are you keeping your word with self and where are you bending it? Set reasonable and achievable commitments, treat them as real, and acknowledge when you fulfill them. Be realistic.

7) Take On Risk And Challenge

If you rarely take on new challenges, explore new expressions, or take yourself out of your comfort zone, you won’t have the experiences which build more self-trust.

One risk you can take to build self-trust is to speak up in a room where you’d normally hold back. Put your weight behind the value of your voice and your perspectives, rather than asking permission to.

Expanding into new skills is a way to build self-efficacy and increase a sense of personal competence. Through putting yourself into the valuable role of beginner in unfamiliar territory, you learn you are capable and adaptable to challenges and setbacks. You may discover gifts and capacities beyond the ones you knew.

Apply: Choose one thing you are already curious about and invest in growing in that area. Check the first challenge that comes to mind—is it truly out of your comfort zone? If you’re an adrenaline junkie, a marathon may not be the challenge. Yin yoga might be.

8) Practice Accountability

When you take accountability for your own perspectives, actions, behaviors, and outcomes, you build self-trust. Accountability is a sign that you trust yourself, because when you err, you do not collapse into shame or deflect responsibility. Rather, you see the moment as an opportunity to step even more into integrity.

Even more than to others, ownership demonstrates your credibility to yourself. Not only do you hold what happened differently, you feel and experience it differently, too.

You know you have grown when you can own your part in an undesirable outcome. Or when something that would have wilted you becomes an insight from which to learn. Equally, owning your part helps you to discern what is not yours to own or internalize.

Being accountable also means a willingness to see and honestly assess the reality in front of you. Because when you do this, you can move from a place of grounded empowerment. It means being honest even when it’s hard to, including with yourself.

Apply: Notice how taking accountability, and owning your part, has helped to liberate you and for you to grow. Where in life would you like to see more clearly and take more accountability? How can you start?

BONUS: Trust in Life

Self-trust is not hyper-independence and it’s also not being a control freak.

It’s trusting yourself enough to cultivate dynamics of interdependence, because you are able to extend that trust to others who have also earned it. Connection, collaboration, and co-creation depend on this. How we trust others (or don’t trust) reflects our self-image and how much we trust ourselves. If you required others to always do exactly as you wished, you would never trust them.

If you require yourself to flawlessly do exactly as you wished, you will likely never trust yourself. From models of understanding such as Human Design, not everyone is meant to work or create or make decisions the same. What makes us effective and what fulfills us expresses differently. Being curious about how we work helps us to build trust.

But it goes even further, if you require life to always be exactly as you wish it to be, you will not trust in life. Paradoxically, self-trust requires a willingness to surrender. When you trust in something greater than yourself, call it life or universal forces or the divine, not everything comes down to you and what you alone can control.

When you value yourself, humility breeds self-trust. And the more you are able to release your grip on the wheel, and be receptive to be guided by life, the more willing you may be to trust when you know your hands belong there.

By: Aimee Hansen is a long time writer and heart coach with theglasshammer.com. Her recent work includes “This Book is a Retreat” co-written with Marianne Richmond.

If you would like to work with Aimee or any of our coaches including Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder, please click HERE for a free, exploratory call with Nicki who can match you with the right coach for you (we have six coaches, all with different backgrounds who can help you depending on what you need).

/by

Spacious Presence: The Power of Self-Exploratory Writing

,

spacious presenceIn life and work, when you feel depleted, overwhelmed, contracted, or lost, what you may be craving is connection—with yourself.

Whereas when you feel spacious in your presence and perception, you are more capable of holding the whole of life: the ups, the downs, the words and behavior of others, the changes of emotional weather within, and the ever-shifting waves of life.

You’re also able to act from a wider vantage point and feel more energetically centered at work and home. You are less reactive to circumstances, not allowing them to dictate your sense of yourself or the world. Instead, you are grounded in your inner truth.

One simple tool for returning to that truth is self-exploratory writing—a practice that invites clarity, emotional spaciousness, and inner alignment.

The Underrated Value of Simple Practices

The habits that serve wellbeing and inner harmony are so basic, so mundane, and so immediately available, we tend to overlook them—good sleep, anyone?—in search of a magic fix or a peak moment experience. Culturally, we undervalue what matters the most.

Burnout is a consequence of a culture, or internalized culture, that does not prioritize wellbeing. Managing burnout becomes a coping strategy. Within that context, self-alignment and self-care are the origin points of a woman who knows her innate value and that the paradigm won’t change unless how you regard yourself does.

Inner spaciousness can be cultivated through practices such as meditation, breathwork, mindfulness, contemplation, myofascial release, dance and movement practices, grounding—and reflective and expressive journaling.

Writing To Support Emotional Wellness

Author Natalie Goldberg wrote to the power of spontaneous writing to access your first thoughts: “The aim is to burn through to first thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor, to the place where you are writing what your mind actually sees and feels, not what it thinks it should see or feel.”

When we recognize that emotions are energy in motion, we can get curious about them on the page, which can also help clarify what motives are at play in decision-making. Exploring your feelings, especially the ones you often resist, can deepen your self-understanding, expand your emotional bandwidth and resilience, and point you toward aligned action with your values and intuitive knowing.

Reflective and expressive journaling, which focuses on what’s truly on your mind and heart, has been shown to increase emotional awareness and emotional wellness while enhancing your overall outlook. Ultimately, it becomes a practice in emotional intelligence.

Cultivating An Orientation of Gratitude

People who orient in gratitude experience lower levels of stress and depression and better relationships. With practice, you can improve your ability to tap into the state of gratitude, elevating your “set point” of perception.

Practicing gratitude enhances wellbeing—for example, supporting better rest, less inflammation, and peace of mind while reducing symptoms of anxiety or depression.

Writing to express gratitude can help shift attention away from rumination and heavy emotions, and train the brain to more readily access appreciation. Not only this, but the positive effects on mental wellbeing compound like interest, creating accumulating benefits over time.

Processing Complex Emotions

Writing can also help to unwind and process trauma caught in the body’s cellular memory.

When we feel safe, writing about traumatic events or emotional experiences can help to organize chaotic thoughts, release locked-up emotions, and facilitate mental clarity and resilience long term.

Expressive therapeutic writing has also been shown to support physical health and immune function across a range of conditions, while reducing stress, anxiety, and symptoms of PTSD.

Visioning Yourself in Growth

Expressive writing which focuses on self-reflection, gratitude, and imagining a positive future increases experiences of life satisfaction and happiness. In one study, people who journaled for 15 minutes a day felt significantly less anxiety, distress, and depressive symptoms.

When you uncover and explore a new insight on paper, remember a gift that’s gone dormant, or admit future visions or goals for yourself, you are bringing them into your awareness to galvanize energy towards them.

Neuroscience has found that when it comes to goals, people who very vividly describe or picture their goals on paper (men tend to do so more) are significantly (1.2-1.4 times) more likely to achieve those goals. Part of the reason is writing them down improves the biological encoding process by which your hippocampus drops a pin and says, remember this.

Creating Spaciousness Through Reflection

When you put what is inside on paper through reflective journaling, you create spaciousness—within yourself and between you and your thoughts. Often, you can discover how you truly feel through writing and increase your self-awareness.

When you are honest on the page and guided with revealing questions, you have the ability to externalize and explore the narrative, examine triggers, reveal thought and behavior patterns, recognize values, and reveal truths. Increasing your self-awareness, you can begin to see where you are locked into the past, or into thoughts and emotions, so you can come back to presence.

As Goldberg writes, “When you are present, the world is truly alive.”

Start Now: Five Prompts For Embodying Self-Respect

Why not start now? Here are five journaling prompts related to embodying self-respect that you can write to today.

  • What is one way you are keeping your word with yourself? How does it feel? What supports you to honor your intention?
  • What promise to yourself are you bending—or breaking? How does it feel?
  • What nurtures your sense of self that you regularly nourish?
  • What nurtures your sense of aliveness but you are not prioritizing it?
  • What is one thing you ache to give more attention and energy to? What are you doing instead that is a lower investment in your fulfillment?

In the practice of yoga, more than half the task is getting onto the mat. With expressive or reflective writing, more than half the task is getting onto the page.

So often, we stay stuck in the same mental and emotional energetic loops, but self-exploratory journaling in response to powerful questions can open new doors of awareness which allow us into more of ourselves—and more of our lives and our unique leadership.

Aimee Hansen is co-author of This Book Is a Retreat: 101 Soul-Nourishing Questions to Reconnect with Yourself to be released on August 22, 2025 (prior to that, available for pre-order), a co-creation with USA Today bestselling author, Marianne Richmond. She is the founder of Storyteller Within and has led the Journey Into Sacred Expression women’s retreat on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala for the past ten years. As a lover of the questions that open us, she’s inspired hundreds of women in writing their hearts into expansion.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

/by

Why Coaching Is So Powerful for Senior Leaders

,

Nicki GilmourAt the top of the organizational ladder, senior leaders often face a paradox: the higher they rise, the fewer people are willing — or able — to give them honest feedback. Leadership can become isolating. Expectations grow, complexity increases, and decisions carry more weight. Yet the space to reflect, grow, and challenge one’s own thinking often shrinks.  This is precisely where coaching becomes not just valuable, but transformative. 

Here are six powerful ways coaching helps senior leaders reclaim perspective and lead with greater clarity and impact.

1. A Rare Space for Honest Reflection

Senior leaders are frequently surrounded by people with competing agendas or cautious filters. Coaching offers a confidential, judgment-free space where leaders can think out loud, test assumptions, and examine blind spots without political risk.

Unlike a board or a management team, a coach’s only agenda is the leader’s development. This objectivity is rare, and incredibly powerful.

2. Support for Navigating Complexity and Ambiguity

The senior leadership landscape is rarely black and white. Decisions involve trade-offs, incomplete information, and wide-ranging impact. Coaches help leaders pause, zoom out, and reflect strategically instead of reacting tactically or emotionally.

By asking the right questions, coaches encourage broader thinking, deeper listening, and more thoughtful decision-making.

3. Development of Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

At the executive level, leadership success is less about technical expertise and more about emotional intelligence — how you show up, communicate, and influence others. Coaches help leaders build self-awareness around their behaviors, mindsets, and emotional triggers.

This kind of insight enables leaders to better manage themselves and others, particularly during periods of stress, change, or conflict.

4. Challenging the Comfort Zone

Senior leaders are often expected to be the ones challenging others. But who challenges them?

A skilled coach holds up a mirror and asks the difficult questions:

  • What are you avoiding?
  • Where are you playing it safe?
  • How might your leadership style be limiting your impact?

This challenge, balanced with support, drives real growth. Coaching helps leaders stretch into new mindsets and evolve in ways that books, courses, or peer feedback often can’t match.

5. From Competence to Legacy

Many senior leaders have mastered execution. They know how to hit goals, run operations, and deliver results. But coaching shifts the focus from short-term performance to long-term impact.

Leaders explore questions like:

  • What kind of leader do I want to be remembered as?
  • How do I build a culture that lasts beyond me?
  • What legacy am I creating?

This reflective process often unlocks deeper purpose and renews energy at a stage where burnout or stagnation can set in.

6. A Catalyst for Inclusive and Adaptive Leadership

Coaching also supports the shift from authority-based leadership to more inclusive, adaptive leadership which is an essential trait in today’s diverse, fast-changing world.

Senior leaders who work with coaches are more likely to:

  • Listen deeply to different perspectives
  • Navigate change with agility
  • Empower and develop others effectively

These are not just soft skills—they’re core capabilities for modern leadership.

Take Your Leadership to the Next Level with an Executive Coach

Coaching is about unlocking potential. For senior leaders, it offers a rare combination of support, challenge, and reflection that’s hard to find elsewhere. It turns leadership from a role into a practice, helping executives lead not just with authority, but with wisdom, clarity, and humanity. In a world where the demands on leaders have never been greater, coaching provides something invaluable: the space to grow.

Book your complimentary exploration of coaching conversation for your leadership development plans for yourself or your team with Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder here at theglasshammer.com

By Nicki Gilmour, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com and Evolved People Coaching

/by

Attachment Styles: What Are They, and Why Do They Matter in the Workplace?

,

attachment stylesEver wonder why some colleagues check in all the time while others seem impossible to get ahold of? The answer might be deeper than you think.

Maria is frustrated with her new employee, Kai. While Kai is talented and personable, he often avoids direct communication, is slow to respond to emails or messages, and seems uncomfortable with feedback or accountability. He tends to shut down when conversations become even mildly confrontational and frequently deflects responsibility by making excuses for missed deadlines. Although he’s likable, he keeps a noticeable emotional distance from the team and avoids collaborative tasks when possible. Maria wishes he would be more like her other report, Jayden, who is consistently dependable and proactive. She finds herself wondering: why people are, well, the way they are? And more importantly, is there anything she can do as a manager that would lead to Kai feeling more connected and improve his work habits?

Though many factors can contribute to a person’s actions, a psychological framework called attachment theory may help to explain the bigger picture. The idea is that every person forms an attachment style in early childhood, and what that style is can affect their outlook and behaviors forever. Our relationship dynamics begin the moment we are born. And the way we form attachments to our earliest caregivers can affect our relationships into adulthood; they make up what I call our “relationship operating model.”

What does attachment look like for young children? Consider Mary Ainsworth’s “strange situation test.” For this study, a mother leaves her child with a stranger in a toy-filled room. Securely attached children initially show distress, but resume playing happily when their mother returns. Anxiously attached children initially welcome their mother’s return, then become uncertain, alternating between seeking closeness to her and playing with toys. Avoidantly attached children either continue playing as if nothing happened or actively avoid their mother upon her return.

But how does this affect the workplace? Well, the secure, anxious, and avoidantly attached behaviors demonstrated in this study can be traced directly to our adult, professional lives. An employee’s attachment style affects not only our relationships with coworkers, but also influences our ability to successfully complete tasks.

Ainsworth’s study demonstrates the importance of a “secure base.” She found that when the securely attached child’s mother was present, the child could confidently explore their strange environment. Having a secure base allows us to take well-considered risks and be creative, knowing we can rely on that foundation to support and guide us as we explore new and innovative ideas. In the workplace, if you have a secure relationship with your business partner or colleague, you are more likely to innovate than if you have an anxious or avoidant relationship with them. This phenomenon has been called the “dependency paradox.” When you feel you can depend on others, you are more likely to act independently. Furthermore, secure attachments with others in the workplace often result in greater creative longevity. Secure relationships can be an antidote to burnout.

On the other hand, if you feel like you can’t depend on your colleagues, you might avoid communicating with them or even interacting with them. This avoidance may result in difficulties getting buy-in or assistance when needed.

Researchers link attachment style to how we communicate with others. Those with an anxious attachment style tend to over-communicate. They feel the need to constantly check in, are hyper-aware of others’ emotions, and tend to think others view them negatively. Anxious employees are also extremely sensitive to the feedback they receive, and they strongly desire affirmation.

On the other hand, those who fall more under the avoidant category tend to under-communicate. They don’t ask for help when they need it, don’t consult with others prior to making major decisions, and don’t regularly inquire about how others are doing. They are less likely to trust others, including their leaders.

Both anxious and avoidant leaders tend to have more difficulties with delegating work than securely attached leaders. Those with an anxious attachment style are often ineffective at delegating because they fear that relinquishing control could lead to disapproval, make them seem less valuable, or even jeopardize the relationship—fears rooted in a deep need for reassurance and connection. In contrast, those with an avoidant attachment style are often unable to delegate because they struggle with trusting others.

But there is hope! One interesting study found that when the participants were prompted to recall a secure relationship, they were less likely to disengage their sense of morality when they encountered an ethically challenging situation. If simply recalling a secure relationship can have such a profound impact on behavior, consider the potential impact of working to adapt your relationship operating model.

Both anxious and avoidant leaders affect the workplace by making it feel less stable, secure, and safe for their employees and their business partners. But research has found that the inverse is true—a leader’s consistent support helps employees feel more secure. Secure leaders are much more likely to support the development of their employees and encourage more positive work behaviors within the company.

Remember: an avoidant or anxious attachment style is not a “sentence” to a challenged life. If you are self-aware and can actively work to heal the attachment ruptures from childhood, it’s possible to create a new outlook on life. Positive relationships characterized by secure attachments later in life can lead to positive outcomes, where we heal and can become better versions of ourselves. Your attachment style can have a direct effect on your employees’ and business partners’ perceptions of how consistently you will be there for them. They want to know they can depend on you.

By: Dr. Karen Bridbord is a licensed psychologist and organizational psychology expert who merges psychological insights with lessons learned from more than two decades of leadership consulting. Her book, The Relationship-Driven Leader: Strengthening Connections to Enhance Productivity and Wellness at Work (April 8, 2025) reveals how strong workplace relationships can enhancing organizational excellence and employee well-being. She lives in New York.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).

/by

Work With an Executive Coach in 2025 to Help You Reach Your Full Potential

,

executive coachIn today’s high-pressure, fast-paced corporate world, executive leadership requires a unique combination of strategic thinking, emotional intelligence, and personal resilience. As companies continue to face rapid change, complex challenges, and high expectations, the role of any professional has never been more demanding. For many leaders, the path to success can feel overwhelming, and even the most experienced professionals can benefit from guidance and support to navigate these obstacles. Executive coaching is a powerful resource for leaders who want to sharpen their skills, boost their performance, and develop a more balanced, sustainable approach to work, even if it really is the corporate Olympics.

Unlike traditional mentorship, which typically involves guidance from a senior leader in the same field, executive coaching is a structured, one-on-one process that is specifically designed to address the unique needs and goals of the individual executive.

By working with an executive coach, leaders gain a valuable partner in navigating the complexities of their roles and achieving both personal and professional growth. Every month in 2025 theglasshammer.com will publish career articles focusing on key areas that matter most, drawing from our expertise as coaches and learning professionals. If you’re interested in hiring us as your coach, please refer to the details at the end of the article.

The focus of executive coaching can vary depending on the client’s needs, but generally includes areas such as:

  • Leadership development
  • Decision-making and strategic thinking
  • Emotional intelligence and self-awareness
  • Conflict resolution and team dynamics
  • Wellness, balance and stress management
  • Communication and influence, including gravitas
Enhancing Leadership Skills

Many people are unsure of what a coach does, and the answer often depends on the coach’s experience, skills, and focus. A leadership coach, in particular, specializes in helping you gain a deeper understanding of your leadership style while partnering with you in finding strategies to enhance your effectiveness. For instance, you might work on:

  • Vision and Strategy: Executive coaches can help you refine your long-term vision and ensure your strategic decisions align with both short-term goals and broader organizational objectives.
  • Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Leadership today requires a high level of emotional intelligence. An executive coach helps you become more attuned to your emotions and the emotions of others, leading to better team dynamics, decision-making, and communication.
  • Conflict Resolution: Navigating conflict is an essential skill for any leader. Coaches provide tools to address and resolve conflicts in a way that strengthens relationships and keeps teams moving forward.

By enhancing these and other leadership skills, an executive coach ensures you’re well-equipped to guide your team, make sound decisions, and manage complex challenges.

Developing Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is a cornerstone of effective leadership. To be truly impactful, leaders must understand their strengths, weaknesses, values, and behaviors. This is where an executive coach plays a pivotal role. Through deep, reflective conversations and assessments, coaches help you gain greater clarity on how you show up as a leader. They guide you in identifying:

  • Strengths and Blind Spots: Often, we are unaware of how our behaviors or leadership styles are perceived by others. A coach can help you recognize areas where you excel and areas where you may be limiting your effectiveness.
  • Personal Values and Leadership Alignment: Understanding your core values is critical for authentic leadership. A coach helps you align your actions and decisions with your values, which fosters trust, integrity, and authenticity within your team.
  • Behavioral Patterns: Coaching helps you identify recurring patterns of behavior, whether positive or negative, and understand how these affect your leadership effectiveness and relationships with others.

By becoming more self-aware, you can make more informed decisions, improve relationships, and enhance your impact as a leader.

Improving Communication and Influence

One of the most crucial skills for any executive is the ability to communicate effectively. Whether you’re addressing your team, managing stakeholders, or negotiating with clients, the way you communicate can significantly impact your success. An executive coach can help you:

  • Enhance Listening Skills: Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly; it’s also about listening deeply. Coaches work with you to become an active listener, which allows you to understand others’ perspectives, resolve conflicts, and build stronger relationships.
  • Refine Messaging: Whether you’re delivering a speech, writing a report, or making a pitch, your ability to convey your message clearly and persuasively is critical. A coach can help you tailor your communication style to different audiences and increase your influence.
  • Build Rapport: Trust is the foundation of any leadership relationship. An executive coach can teach you how to build rapport quickly, foster meaningful connections, and create a sense of camaraderie within your team.

Improved communication can help you inspire action, align teams, and influence key stakeholders, leading to better outcomes for both you and your organization.

Navigating Complex Decisions

Executives often face difficult, high-stakes decisions that impact not only their careers but also the direction of their organizations. The pressure to make the “right” decision can be overwhelming, especially when choices are complex and outcomes are uncertain.  An executive coach helps you navigate these decisions by:

  • Providing a Thoughtful, External Perspective: Coaches offer an objective, non-judgmental viewpoint that helps you step back and view problems from different angles. This external perspective can provide new insights that lead to better decision-making.
  • Clarifying Goals and Priorities: In times of uncertainty, it’s easy to lose sight of your goals. A coach can help you clarify your objectives and evaluate options based on how well they align with your long-term vision and values.
  • Helping Manage Risk: Executive decisions often involve balancing risk and reward. A coach helps you assess risks and make decisions that maximize benefits while minimizing potential downsides.

By helping you make more informed, strategic decisions, an executive coach ensures that you can confidently lead your organization through challenges and capitalize on opportunities.

Work-Life Balance and Stress Management

The demands of executive leadership can lead to burnout if not properly managed. Long hours, constant pressure, and high expectations can leave little time for personal care and relaxation. However, maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential for sustainable success. An executive coach helps you:

  • Prioritize Well-Being: Coaches work with you to identify areas where you can reduce stress and improve your work-life balance. They might suggest techniques for setting boundaries, managing time effectively, or delegating tasks.
  • Develop Resilience: Leading under pressure requires resilience. A coach can help you build mental and emotional resilience through mindfulness, stress-reduction techniques, and strategies for maintaining focus and clarity under stress.
  • Create Personal Routines: Routines that promote physical health, mental well-being, and personal satisfaction are key for balancing a demanding career. Coaches help you establish daily habits that support your overall health and performance.

By prioritizing well-being and stress management, you can sustain your leadership effectiveness while enjoying a more balanced, fulfilling life.

Accountability and Motivation

One of the most valuable aspects of executive coaching is the accountability it provides. Setting goals and making positive changes can be challenging, especially when juggling the demands of leadership. A coach acts as an accountability partner, keeping you on track and motivated.

  • Setting Clear Goals: Coaches help you set measurable, achievable goals that align with your personal and professional vision. Whether it’s improving leadership skills, navigating a career transition, or expanding your influence, having clear goals is essential for progress.
  • Tracking Progress: Regular check-ins with your coach allow you to track your progress, celebrate wins, and adjust strategies if needed. This accountability helps you stay focused on your long-term objectives.
  • Staying Motivated: An executive coach helps you stay motivated by reminding you of your goals and pushing you to reach higher levels of performance, even when challenges arise.
The Power of Executive Coaching

An executive coach provides invaluable support for professionals looking to enhance their leadership abilities, navigate complex decisions, improve communication, and achieve a better work-life balance. With personalized guidance, actionable strategies, and ongoing accountability, an executive coach helps you unlock your full potential and achieve sustainable success. Whether you’re an emerging leader or a seasoned executive, or a early or mid-level professional, coaching can elevate your performance and transform your career. We will support you and challenge you in equal measure- for all the right reasons.

Investing in an executive coach is an investment in your future, helping you become the leader you aspire to be while thriving both professionally and personally.

We have a cadre of coaches that specialize in different areas. Book Here for an exploratory call. Packages start at $2,500.

By Nicki Gilmour, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com and executive leadership coach

/by

Seven Things about Gut Instinct You Might Not Know

,

Gut instinct Gut instinct – that instinctual sense of knowing that does not come from conscious reasoning, also sometimes called intuition – is one aspect of your decision-making that is worth better understanding – including how and when to leverage it. Here are seven things to know about gut instinct.

  1. The gut truly is the “second brain.” – A neural network of 100 million neurons line your digestive tract, evidencing the gut’s processing ability. The gut has more neurons than the spine. It’s not only the stomach that has a brain, but the heart also has neural cells – there’s more to processing than we “think.” According to Sarah Garfinkel, professor and cognitive neuroscientist at University College London, “Instinct is when physiological signals change quickly in response to different stimuli, with or without the conscious awareness of the properties of those stimuli. A capacity to tap into and be guided by those signals gives us a route to gut instinct, which bypasses higher-order awareness mechanisms that don’t yet have access to that information.”
  2. Gut instinct is not a mind “or” body thing, and it’s complicated. – When considering a decision, the brain works in tandem with the gut, making intuition a mix of emotional and experiential data as the brain accesses memories, preferences, needs, past learnings and more. The mind-body dualistic idea that suggests mind and body responses are separate has long been disproven. They are interrelated. We feel in the body the result of cognitive processing happening in the brain. As a predictive processing network, the brain seeks to quickly compare sensory information with past experience, knowledge and memories, sending signals to the gut. These rapid assessments are subject to error, due to things like confirmation bias where we scramble to see what we already believe true or when we impose past circumstances upon a current situation and perceive danger.
  3. Gut instinct is often a valuable part of decision-making. Partnering gut feelings with analytical thinking leads to better, faster, and more accurate decisions and increases the confidence behind your choices – especially when there is no “correct” and clear-cut option and you’re overthinking. The majority of top executives report that they leverage feelings when managing crises. Women often speak to The Glass Hammer about their ability to read the room as way of informing how they approach a meeting or having gut instinct around an idea that comes up. And when, for example, you are in a familiar setting or with a familiar person, your intuition can pick up subtle cues that something is off or amiss by noticing indicators that are not usually present. It can also guide you against making a wrong choice that presents unnecessary risk. Without gut instinct, and a sensitivity to somatic cues, we can fall into analysis paralysis.
  4. Gut instinct is NOT such a good indicator for decision-making at other times – such as in hiring and recruitment. A clear example for where gut instinct should not be trusted in decision making is in hiring and recruitment, when guts instincts (fast thinking) around the “right candidate” and “culture fit” or “likability” are usually just unconscious bias (such as affinity bias, anchoring bias) – especially related to race, disability, gender and sex. Within seconds of hearing speech, Yale found that we make snap perceptions on social class (based on speech patterns such as pronunciation), competence and pay package. We also like people who are like us in tone, body movements and word choices – and the things we like cast a positive halo over the rest of the interview. Assessments from unstructured and organic interviews, where managers go with their gut, have very poor correlation with job effectiveness and finding the most qualified candidate, because unconscious bias is rife and gut instinct is often rationalized.
  5. The quality of gut instinct is interrelated to emotional intelligence. Research has shown that people with lower EI tend to misread their own bodily signal and somatic cues, misinterpreting the warnings of intuition that would normally guide us against bad risk-taking and decision making. But just as emotional intelligence can be strengthened through intentional training, as we become more sensitive to our ability to read and discern different emotions, where they are coming from and how they influence us, so can we develop our gut instinct. Discerning fear from intuition is an important part of honing our ability to use gut instinct in decision making, as these can often be confused. People who are highly sensitive – and perceive, process, and synthesize information more deeply – often have stronger intuition but may also have learned to distrust and invalidate this strength. Like a muscle, intuition can be built up. Practicing using it through fast, decisive actions on relatively inconsequential matters to build up trust and your ability to emotional regulate through discomfort. By role-playing the outcomes of different decisions, you can also see if your intuitive-based decisions would be aligned with your highest values on the other side.
  6. Distraction from overthinking helps our intuition to weigh in on decisions. When processing a lot of complex and difficult to remember information around a big decision, the tendency can be to painfully overthink – going between all the pros and cons – or to make a snap decision to escape the pain of indecision. But research has found that there’s a value in allowing our minds to wander in unrelated activity, as the unconscious mind helps to sort through the seeds. Participants who were distracted by an unrelated activity after being presented with a bunch of information about a decision made better (and more intuitive led) objective choices than those who consciously weighed up options before making a final decision. Overthinking in a strictly analytical way can muddy your judgement. But in the pause, the unconscious mind can help to surface the gist from the information overload and improve the accuracy of intuitive judgement.
  7. Timing and context is critical and most people don’t know when to use their gut instinct. Because it’s intertwined with many other rapid processes happening in the brain (triggering, bias, memory), it’s critical to assess when to rely on gut instinct in decision-making and when not to, and most business leaders do not know the difference – not only that, but it’s the same for most doctors, therapists and other kinds of professionals.

All in all, gut instinct is a valuable aspect of processing that is bound to contribute it’s voice into your decision-making, whether you are going with it, weighing it up or fighting against it. The more you can learn about gut instinct, the more you’ll be equipped as a leader to use it – and not use it – wisely.

By Aimee Hansen

/by

Amber Hairston: Agency Underwriter, PGIM Real Estate

,

Amber Hairston“For this moment, while employers are asking you to bring yourself to work, do it. Do it now. Do it today,” says Amber Hairston. “The hope is that this is a movement, not a moment. But time is of the essence, so do it. It will pay dividends.”

In honor of National Coming Out Day on October 11th, we share Hairston’s experience on freeing yourself into authenticity. 

Seeing the Hurdles Before They Come

Graduating during the global financial crisis and determined to exit the social confines of her rural Virginia hometown, Hairston took a position in marketing and communications. But “in typical Millennial fashion,” she made a network connection on Twitter who saw her as suited to commercial real estate finance and directed her towards an opportunity. In 2015, she then moved to PGIM, where she ascended across four positions within six years.

“I was redirected to the path that was intended for me,” reflects Hairston, who had planned to study business before diverting towards communications. “I think of myself now as a different kind of storyteller.”

As an underwriter, Hairston pitches deals to loan approvers after careful assessment of a property, who’s operating it, the market, and other financial risks. Attributing her work ethic to her parents, Hairston prides herself on attention to detail: “I’m very thoughtful in assessing what the hurdles are. I don’t always like to call them ‘risks’ necessarily. I call them ‘hurdles’—these are the hurdles, and this is how we can and will clear them.”

The volatility in the domestic and global economy, and the impact on the real estate investment marketplace, has definitely provided challenges to step into—and Hairston finds that exhilarating. While she won’t speak the most in a meeting room, when she does, she has reflected and has something powerful to say.

Time management and foresight have been her boons. “There’s nothing that I haven’t thought about when I’m underwriting a deal. There’s nothing that I encounter that I haven’t at least entertained as a possible hurdle. I’m never caught flat-footed or surprised.”

“Dropping the Weight Vest” To Rise in Authenticity

Reflecting on her desire to stretch beyond home as a teenager, she says, “It was a very black and white space in a literal and figurative sense. There wasn’t a lot of space for a queer woman of color in the town that I came from, and I knew that I could not grow in the ways that I needed to grow in that environment,” says Hairston. “D.C. just made a lot more sense, and it was my dream city in the United States.”

But while having left the confines of her small town, Hairston in some ways brought the burden of constraints within her to D.C.—until the pandemic.

“I kept the queer part of myself under wraps for so long. I tried to be something else and it was exhausting. And it’s not because of PGIM – this is the box that I grew up in, a limited view of what a woman can and should be, what they should look like,” says Hairston. “But the pandemic changed everything. We were at home and there was nobody to see me. There was only the work. It felt like I had been walking around with a ‘weight vest’ for years.”

Hairston recalls a moment when she was overwhelmed with work while colleagues were away and she needed all of herself: “I think that was the moment that everything changed because I didn’t have a choice. I had to take off the vest at that moment to power through.”

She continues, “Then as we started to return to the office in late 2021, I just told myself I wasn’t putting it back on. I decided I was done with it.”

“In a virtual setting and with all the focus on diversity, equity and inclusion, I was ready to bring the breadth and depth to my experience to bear as a queer woman of color.”

That choice has impacted her relationships across the organization and the industry: “My relationships wouldn’t be as meaningful personally or impactful professionally had I not brought everything to the table.”

And it’s impacted her performance and visibility: “I’ve never been a stronger performer. I draw so much power from all the things that make me different. I used to view it as a disadvantage, but it’s so essential to how I’m able to show up, how effective and efficient I am, and the impact that I’m able to make. I draw from everything, and to have not done that for so many years was a detriment to my performance.”

Reflecting overall, she says, “It sounds sad this box that I, in part, put myself into, the unnecessary weight that I carried for so long, but the upside is maybe I can run faster and jump higher than I ever thought I could.”

Evolving Her Work Relationships From Within

As Hairston has become more comfortable in taking up space in a way that is authentic to herself, she’s feels she’s allowed others to do the same.

“Historically, I’ve been really hard on people. I could be pretty demanding and have really high expectations,” reflects Hairston. “I’m not sure that’s changed, but with the pandemic and everything, the way that I approach it has changed. I’ve had to take it easier on myself and that’s translated to other people.“

Reflecting deeper, she shares, “My harshness was a reflection of how I was talking to myself. Now that I’ve reined in my own self talk, I’m more patient, compassionate and thoughtful in how I get the best out of others, because that’s ultimately what I want.”

Empowering Others Beyond Yourself

Hairston feels blessed by an abundance of mentors and sponsors who had her best interests at heart, even when it meant losing her: “I think a lot of people see those who support them, whether consciously or unconsciously, as tools for their own growth and advancement and production. But there have been many people, at many turns, who let me go even when it was going to make things uncomfortable for them. They wanted to see me rise.”

She wishes to take that with her, “There are people in this organization, and across the industry, who have altered the trajectory of my career by presenting me with an opportunity or a challenge. That’s the type of impact that I want to have,” she says.

“Part of the responsibility of leadership, whether you’re the CEO or have one direct report, is to develop people and I hope I never lose sight of that.” It’s also important to her to be a steady presence that others can call on when they need anything.

Hairston is inspired by leaders who embody vulnerability and transparency. “They have the confidence to give you the latitude for mistakes and really allow you to grow,” she says. That latitude has looked like saying her name in rooms she can’t be in and risking putting their name behind hers while advancing her into new challenges.

She traveled broadly before the pandemic – from Costa Rica, Dubai, and Cape Town to London and Zurich. While more grounded during recent times, she’s explored cultures through food and suspects she’s read about 35 books in the last year and a half.

A sci-fi fantasy and Harry Potter fan, she enjoys V.E. Schwab and sometimes reads young adult fiction to appreciate the diversity of representation that was absent when she was growing up. Though never a “dog person,” she was lovingly coerced into puppy parenting. She and her partner have a seven-month-old Bichon Frise named Artemis.

By Aimee Hansen

/by

Rupal Shah: Principal, PGIM Fixed Income

,

Rupal ShahRupal Shah describes her journey, which includes taking uncomfortable (but intentional) leaps in her career, finding her voice, staying challenged, humble and authentic, and dedicating her time to the service of others.

“Create the greatest, grandest vision possible for your life and career because you become what you believe.”

Big Leaps to Follow Her Own Compass

Shah’s parents immigrated to the U.S. from India with master’s degrees and not much else. Her childhood is defined by watching and learning from their hard work and sacrifice. “My parents’ determination and perseverance are in my DNA. They each worked multiple jobs and navigated innumerous obstacles as foreigners in a new country. They had a vision of a life they wanted to give our family and they manifested that vision.”

She lives by the lessons that her parents taught her with their actions. Similarly, Shah paved her own career path, learned from her mistakes and was able to navigate the challenges she faced along the way on her own. “Create the greatest, grandest vision possible for your life and career because you become what you believe.”

Shah recounts, “Each step of my career taught me meaningful characteristics about myself and helped me make my next leap.” Shah spent some of her earlier years in back-office roles within Goldman Sachs, ultimately transitioning to an analytical role within the sales and trading division. Simultaneously, she was getting her MBA part-time at New York University’s Stern School of Business. Despite the hectic schedule, she learned the importance of networking with people around the firm to learn about their roles. It was through these conversations that she was able to determine where she wanted to lead her career path.

“The time spent networking paid dividends and those relationships are my currency,” she says. Post graduate school, after 32 interviews and various naysayers, Shah was given an opportunity to cover strategic relationships within Goldman Sachs’ Asset Management Division, despite various senior professionals deterring her from applying for the opportunity.

“The firm told me they were taking a leap of faith on me. As appreciative as I was of the opportunity, I felt like the underdog. If nothing else, this motivated me to work harder to succeed. There were many times during my career where I was told I couldn’t, or I shouldn’t, or I wasn’t included. I would tell myself that I do not need a seat at that table, I will just build my own. I realized I needed to trust my instinct, and rather than any firm taking a leap of faith on me, I would take leap of faith on myself.”

“Your career is your own. Make sure you’re the one driving it.”

As an Indian American woman in fixed income, Shah has had to reach beyond her comfort zone and override both self-doubt and conditioning, to find her voice. While the context can be intimidating, she realized she had to stop putting up extra hurdles for herself and trust her instincts.

“In my culture, we were raised to not challenge or question anything. We were taught that respect was blindly listening to your elders. But I saw time and time again how this learned behavior would be a detriment to my career,” says Shah.

“In my first few roles, I was scared to ask questions or challenge others. I remember having hard days and I would not speak up when there was something that needed to be said. These situations continued over the years, and I learned that what I had to offer was valuable. I forced myself to develop a voice and really stick to what I believe in and be authentic in that. More than ever, I know my voice matters. It’s been a long path to get here but I see the rewards of taking a view and sticking to it with certainty.”

When thinking back on the journey, she’d encourage her younger self to develop that confidence sooner. “The young women we interview today are so confident and impressive, and I love seeing that.”

Staying Challenged

Shah’s mantra is “if you’re not challenged, you’re not growing.” She continuously asks herself if she feels comfortable in roles. If the answer is yes, she knows she is not evolving. “Comfort becomes shackles to growth. I always want to step so far out of my comfort zone that I forget how to get back.”

Recently, Shah was given the opportunity to build the third-party insurance business for PGIM Fixed Income. Shah has had to push herself out of her comfort zone and trust the strength and skills she has developed over the years. “It’s rewarding to have been able to forge a path that truly will be successful for our firm. I’m incredibly excited to strategically build something new. I’ve been blessed with great opportunities to build and create throughout my career, but this is certainly a new frontier. Thinking of new ideas, strategies, products, building a new team and learning different concepts is challenging and exhilarating.”

“It is important to stay humble and authentic to yourself to be a strong leader.”

Since Shah joined PGIM Fixed Income, she has been involved in recruiting, hiring, and retaining talent. “Our people are our biggest asset. Hiring, training, and nurturing our talent is our greatest responsibility. When people come to work, they should love being here. I want people not only to feel motivated about their work product but also by the work environment,” says Shah. “I’m a huge believer that each person is treated like an individual and should feel empowered. I really nurture my relationships, and that’s a huge part of my leadership.”

“I’ve worked for some truly inspirational people that have shown me the type of leader I want to be. I picked traits along the way and found the style that I felt truly represented the person I am. I lead with kindness and respect, I am the first one to admit when I am wrong, and I embrace that we are all continuously evolving.” Being an authentic leader helps garner mutual respect amongst the team and her leadership is what Shah deems to be her greatest success.

The Most Rewarding Work

As a mother of two, Shah navigates a thriving career, being a fully present mother, running marathons and co-running a charity. Shah says, “It certainly is not easy, but if it’s not hard, it’s not worth it.”

Orphan Life Foundation is the charity Shah co-leads. Her contribution involves supporting orphaned children in India and Burkina Faso from providing basic human needs such as food, clothing, bedding, etc to larger projects such as installing water filtration systems and providing bikes as transport to school.

As a child, Shah’s parents took her family to India every two years. They would visit an orphanage near her father’s hometown and contribute to support the children. The trips were so much more than visiting family.

“It kept me close to my roots, truly humbled me and filled me with gratitude for the opportunities I would have ahead. Those trips really define who I am today,” Shah says. Her charity work continues this tradition, including visits to India.

Shah is currently working on setting up a mentor program between the orphanage in Burkina Faso and a local school in Newark that she has spent time with over the years. She wishes to gift her own children the relative perspective of gratitude for the life they have, the hard work and effort it takes to succeed, and awareness of helping others who were not born into the same.

“This is what I do for me,” says Shah. “I love my career, my family, and the impact I can make. It’s all so exhilarating, but nothing really rewards like this.”

/by

Lead with Clarity: How to Change Up Your Perceptual Lens

,

perceptual lensMost of us think that our beliefs are truth. But beliefs are not facts. Rather, they are a core part of
 our perceptual lens, and thus very powerful in shaping our everyday experiences.

Psychologists refer to this as a perceptual set – a predisposition to perceive things in a certain 
way, which leads us to notice only certain aspects of an object or situation while ignoring other
 details. I like to refer to these as perceptual lenses, because it’s literally the “lens” which you
 unconsciously and subconsciously perceive the world through that’s driving your behavior.

There are all kinds of perceptual lenses, and each of us tends to use, and overuse, our own few
 personal favorites. For example, when someone has a competitive lens, they will relate to almost
 any situation as though it is a competition, whether or not any such competition exists. Someone
 with a binary lens will relate to most situations as if there is only one right answer, and
 everything and everyone else is wrong.

Typically, we each have a few favorites that we apply no matter what the context. Because we
 are using these few lenses by default, they often are not appropriate to the context. We need to
 expand past our tired old playlist.

There are two kinds of lenses: generally helpful lenses, and those that are impeding when 
overused.

Generally helpful lenses:
  • Collaborative lens. The I-win-when-you-win-approach.
  • Optimistic lens. “Everything always works out for the best, even if it doesn’t seem so in the moment.”
  • Create possibility lens. It temporarily sets aside all perceived obstacles, problems, or doubts, in order to give you freedom to imagine an ideal.
  • Opportunity lens. With this lens, you ask yourself, “How can I find an opportunity in whatever situation I face?”
Impeding lenses:
  • “Problems to fix” or “what’s wrong” lens. With this lens, someone is always looking
 for something to go wrong; they are always wondering what can go wrong here, what
 will go wrong here?
  • Victim lens. “It doesn’t matter anyway.” “I can’t make a difference.” “Bad things always happen to me.”
  • Distrust/“It’s not safe” lens. A person with this lens operates from a default position that the world around them is inherently dangerous.
  • Binary/“black or white” lens. With this lens, a person tends to view situations as “either/or.” There’s no gray area, there’s no middle ground.

Each of these lenses has its own set of underlying beliefs and assumptions. You see what your
 lens shows you.

If you habitually default to the same lens all of the time, in every situation, then you are not 
perceiving the actual circumstances and environment around you. You are seeing only what your
 lens shows you. You are making assumptions instead of gleaning useful data that would more
 constructively guide your choices and actions.

You can’t be human and be without any lenses, but you can be aware of your lens, as well as be 
intentional about choosing an appropriate lens for any given situation. There is a place for a 
competitive lens and a collaborative lens, for a problems lens and an opportunity lens, and so on.
 What does not serve us is to blindly and automatically apply one lens across the board no matter
 what is actually happening.

Road Bump To Choosing A New Lens: You’re Attached To Your Story

You can’t change your lens while wearing your current lens. The people who have the hardest
 time transforming their leadership, or their lives, are those who hold onto their own story very,
 very tightly. Their self-image is dependent upon them being “the one who always_________.”
 The one who’s always right. The one who never gets what they want. The one who always 
achieves. The one who always cleans up after others. The one who’s the smartest. The one who 
is always betrayed. When you are so locked into your story, then a change of perceptual lens can 
feel destabilizing. If you aren’t the one who always is this or that, or who does this or that, then 
who are you?

When you step into the unfamiliar territory of using a new lens, you need to be willing to “try” it 
out. On some level you will feel some relief—because you are choosing a lens that empowers
 you— but on another level you are likely to resist the feeling of change.

Recognize your discomfort for what it is: your ego’s inner defenses against change. The 
solution? Acknowledge that discomfort while trying on the new lens— even though it feels odd,
 contradictory, or just plain impossible. You keep doing that again and again until the new lens 
can start to stay in place, and the new lens becomes the new you.

Initially, you aren’t going to have “proof ” that any of these helpful lenses will bring you better 
results than your current, impeding lens. You can only give them a try. Be curious, open,
 experimental. Lean into it. Doing so increases your options. And pay attention to what happens; 
observe your new results. Loosen up on your own story until you really get that your story is not
 you. That’s the only way that true change can happen.

By: Jody Michael is the author of Leading Lightly: Lower Your Stress, Think with Clarity, and Lead with Ease (Greenleaf Book Group Press, 2022). She is CEO of Jody Michael Associates, a coaching company specializing in executive coaching, leadership development, and career coaching. She is recognized as one of the top 4% of coaches worldwide and is an internationally credentialed Master Certified Coach, Board Certified Coach, University of Chicago trained psychotherapist, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

/by