Tag Archive for: Nicki Gilmour

Are You Being Sustainable? Avoid Burnout and Disengagement at Work

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Nicki GilmourBy Nicki Gilmour, Executve Coach and Organizational Psychologist (www.evolvedpeople.com)

Let’s talk about stress. We all have it, but it’s how we deal with it that matters.

Days can go past very quickly and the news cycle and social media only provokes our limbic reactions further. Are you getting good quality sleep? Are you actually benefitting from exercise or wearing yourself out? How is your stress level affecting your socio- emotional competencies at work? Or, in plain English, are you leading and managing less optimally than you could? Are your clients getting the best from you? Are you feeling mentally good about saying yes and saying no in the right ratio? What toll is it taking on your personal life?

Dr Karen Wilson and myself have developed a coaching program for high (insecure) achievers who say yes and more all the time and are very successful. But, we help you be sustainable in your behaviors, throw away the thoughts and actions that are holding you back and let you be human and great at the same time.

If you would like to enroll in our 16 week program that starts in June, we are now putting together that cohort. The cost is $4000 per person.

Please contact nicki@evolvedpeople.com telling us more about you.

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Listen More, Talk Less to Change Your World?

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Nicki GilmourBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

This International Women’s Day 2018 has positive messages regarding professional women’s careers. Messaging that women can go far and fast has never been stronger and some companies are making strides promoting women. Work for good companies, functional teams and good managers as happiness can happen at work and if you are not happy then take control of it.

Every day is women’s day on theglasshammer.com as we don’t just talk about what needs to happen (systemically and or individually) one day per year. For eleven years we have been asking you to #pressforprogress and we have been doing it too. By creating visibility of all types of professional women, celebrating women at work and reducing bias and stereotypes via our training and coaching as well as editorial articles based on research. It has not been easy work and we thank those of you who have persisted in trying to change the world around us.

So on this day and month we choose to look more broadly at the world to understand the narrow issue of advancing professional women at work. Why? Because we understand that the culture outside the office affects the culture inside the office.

International women’s day is a third world and first world issue as we see from the horror stories from near and far regarding how men’s needs are placed high above the human rights and freedoms of women. From #metoo in the States to tribal honor killings in India and Pakistan, the one consistent element seems to be that men are always given more power than women. And, if the small minority of bad guys chose to wield that power in an evil way (thankfully so many men don’t) the system and the cultural norms in first and third worlds are remarkably similarly weighted against women.

At least we are talking about inequities now in a way that never before have been up for discussion. But, how do we change things? Change is not easy as it requires systems, structures and policies (and their enforcement) to change. Behavior is like a river running its course, it just happens naturally and having to create a new pathway without a reason to do so is possible, but hardly probable without perturbation.

Sometimes we all need to feel uncomfortable in order to change. Nilofer Merchant writes in the HBR blog to Listen more and talk less to change someone’s mind. At first, reading this piece I felt sheer horror that girls were being traded for compensation. I felt my values being challenged on every level and I feel a rejection of the culture being described in the scenario to the point that I wondered why I was still reading it. Then, I read on. Ironically, the story was about listening without giving an opinion, in service of having people get to a change point of view themselves. Having no verbal opinion can be powerful in some cases where cultural norms will squash dissent or people that aren’t straight men.

This concept really stuck with me, not least because change is about exactly those three elements – culture, values and behavior and Warner Burke Professor of Organizational Psychology and Change Leadership always says “You cannot change the culture by changing the culture.”

In the continued work of finding a true level playing field, all of us need to understand how to challenge ourselves before we can challenge others.
The sheer idea of not having an opinion and voicing it is contra to most advice we see and having a voice for yourself and for the voiceless is a strategy that cannot be dismissed. But, isn’t it interesting as a career strategy to let people think its their idea?

If like me, you are fairly ambivalent about this then thats ok too! This is the time to have a voice because 2018 is a turning point for people and specifically women to be heard and believed. At work, there is a range of situations where you still aren’t being heard, from meetings where the guy next to you repeats exactly what you said, to no win conversations where power plays are present. My favorite books on this are by Deborah Kolb and Judith Williams who wrote Everyday Negotiations and by dear friend Carol Frohlinger’s and Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls series.

Have a good month, enjoy the #IWD celebrations!

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Do You Know How to Learn, Think and What You Value?

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Nicki GilmourBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

As a coach and organizational psychologist, I often work with companies and individuals to help people understand that we don’t all take in information the same way.

Some people like to experience a case or task (usually observing or minimally touching -like residents in Greys Anatomy) and others like to understand concepts first in abstract ( also important for say doctor training).

We have to watch our biases and preferences when it comes to designing rewards and promotions as the people who learn by jumping in feet first and learn on the job often start with mixed results which makes sense. This is opposite to those who want to reflectively design but are not seen as doers. There is value to both and there is more value in one person being able to do both (or all four quadrants of the Learning Styles Inventory). The developmental goal is to move around the experiential learning cycle encompassing thinking, feeling, and doing as all learning is relearning. It is not a coincidence that when people get their Myers Briggs reports it often lines up the Extrovert and Introvert with applying action and applying reflection respectively. It does not take an organizational psychologist to tell you that extrovert doers get rewarded and then apply a gender lens and a nationality lens and a ethnicity lens and I think you know where I am going with this. Worth noting even if the course of action is not optimal that the loudest duck, as Laura Liswood calls it, are not the most thought out or intelligent (as we see everyday in corporations and in government).

And then there is the left brain versus right brain discussion, fascinating when applied to gender in what I believe to be entirely faux science. Men are from Mars because social constructs over 10,000 years have created that possibility. There are physiological and hormonal differences between men and women’s brains but that should not be confused with how thinking styles appear at work. I participated in two Columbia University executive cohorts over five years, I have seen 99% and then 100% of men appearing in the right brain column of the brain tool results. Men who work in the Army, financial services, consulting, tech, law and medicine. Cordelia Fine just wrote a great book on the myths around this topic.

Then, there is personality- the power of our intrinsic personality that we are born with and the levers and triggers that are then activated with whatever external environment we are set loose into. Ever seen a person thrive in one company and fail miserable in another? Exactly.

How does this apply? For example, I am just slightly more left brain in my thinking style (measured by Neethling Brain instrument ) and my preferred learning style (measured by Learning Styles Inventory instrument) is to learn by experiencing and doing. Along with high need for mastery and high need for aesthetics and need to be recognized for good work done ( measured by the Hogan instrument ). I know what triggers me on a bad day under stress and I know how I show up to my team and clients in those moments (measured by ESCI and 360s).I know my stress recovery ability via sleep and exercise via wellness reports. I know what works suits me and what bores me and what I can do to manage my energy and balance work with family. This is pretty helpful as if you know this stuff about yourself then putting one foot out the door every morning, you have a shot at the systemic challenges or just the dynamics that happens in every office between humans.

If you would like to work with an executive coach on change, challenges or knowing yourself better, contact nicki@theglasshammer.com

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How to Trot Not Plod Through the Year of the Dog

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

The Year of the Rooster is over and the Year of the Dog is beginning in the Chinese (lunar) New Year. So, if January did not feel as good as you would have liked it to, or if you are now ready to get what you want, or at least have a good shot at figuring out what that might be, then you are in the right place.

Ask yourself these five questions:

1. How energized am I on the project I am on right now?
2. What is it that made my best time at work so great?
3. What could be changed to make work great?
4. What do I want out of 2018 at work?
5. How can I get it?

It is important to know what is going on with yourself and to know what the external factors are that make you happy at work.

if you would like to work with a coach on exploring questions, answers, dynamics and getting from here to there, then we have a team here that can help.

Contact Nicki (nicki@evolvedpeople.com) for a free 15 minute exploratory call around challenges and pathways.

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Bonus Banked? What’s Next?

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Bonus season is over for another year and so the should I stay or should I go question could loom again for you?

Chances are, if you work in banking and financial services, you stayed put until this payday. But, with a year ahead, its a good time to look at what makes you happy at your job, beyond the money.

If the bonus was good, this can make you stay for a little while longer even if you know you need something different. Money is always a factor, but look at culture, growth opportunities and ultimately the job you want to actually do.

Dream a little, scribble and journal- what do you want more of? What do you want less of? Just what would the ideal job look like for you? What are the other lifestyle based factors that you want to have more of? More travel? Less travel? Less of a commute? Picasso, it is your picture, don’t forget that!

Good luck!

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Black History Month and Your Role in Helping Others

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Black History Month is about celebrating amazing people of color.

For us on theglasshammer.com we celebrate women of color and all types of women all year long but we do recognize that intersectionality is real (simply put, being a woman with another social identity that is “other”, or from the historically non majority group.)

Do a network audit- is there only one type of person in your network? If this cuts along the lines of social identity (gender, ethnicity, LGBT status, class, nationality etc) then make a conscious effort to go to lunch with someone different to you. If you only eat lunch with white women and white men (and you are a white women) then what are you missing? How can you sponsor and advocate women of color on your team? How can you mentor and be mentored by a person of color?

If you are a woman of color reading this column, how can you stay authentic and not assimilate ?

All of these discussions are of course theory and make assumptions that all white women are one way and all women of color are another, which we work very hard on theglasshammer to dispel such stereotypes.

So, go have multiple conversations with people who have had a different journey to you and just listen with an open mind and open heart, because this is how we learn.

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Do More of What You Like Doing at Work (and What You Get Paid For)

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

All jobs have tasks that we prefer over other tasks.

Be honest with yourself, how strategically important are the tasks that you are avoiding? If they rank highly either for your current role or as a development skill, then consider setting time aside formally in your calendar to undertake them on a regular basis as habit can be a great way to embrace them.

What are you recognized and rewarded for?

Are you experiencing task creep?

Have a look (or make a list) of what you do every day for a period of a week to see what is officially within your remit and what creeps in there. It might be illuminating to see how you are paid for driving the train but also at times asked tolay the track, clean the engine etc which is time consuming and often not conducive to your time management or skill set.

Contact nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com is you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work.

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Becoming a High Performer – Stress Recovery and Renewal Matters!

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

As ambitious, hard working women, we are often not satisfied about what we have achieved at work.

We often feel insecure about giving less than 150% at work for fear of losing ground. And, the truth is, most of us work in very competitive industries that require us to be present for long hours, to travel and to take on massive amounts of responsibility. Would we have it any other way? My guess is if you are reading the glasshammer.com, you are interested in hearing how to have more of everything and have it right now!

However, research shows that sustainable high performance requires the executive to harness stress adequately with the right amount of pace and rest for stress recovery. Doing what you love means being well enough to do it. You are human. No matter how good the set up is at the office and at home, chances are you are a little stressed and a little exhausted. Throw kids in the mix and downtime to recover disappears further.

It is time to talk about that while growth is important in climbing the ladder and breaking the ceiling, renewal is even more important so that you can continue to high perform, learn and grow.

Staying well physically and mentally is now something more and more companies are paying attention to. Executives who understand their own sustainability are more likely to avoid burnout and have better longevity in their careers.

Stress also affects how you show up as a team member, manager or leader. Behaviorally, when under stress, most of us have shortcomings from being snappy, to avoidance of issues that need to be addressed. When you do not realize the stress, as it becomes normalized, then you equally might accept your less than optimal behaviors as normal too.

We have developed a group coaching program for high performing talent, and “insecure overachievers” that creates awareness of how stress is effecting your performance and ultimately hindering your development as an executive. By understanding your own neuroscience and your actual data you can understand how to make real change for your mental and physical health.

We are running a virtual cohort where people are matched in pods to work on sustainable high performance.

If you are “high performing talent” and likely to make Managing Director in the next 12 months then this group could be for you.

There is a cost for the 5 month program and it includes psychometric tests, individual and group coaching.

Write to nicki@evolvedpeople.com if you are interested in being considered for this cohort or to schedule a call to discuss this program for your company.

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Fallen off the January Proverbial Wagon Yet?

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Nicki GilmourBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

The way to make 2018 resolutions stick is to understand your own neuroscience about how you see your goals in action.

Your mind is driving the bus. Take back the wheel!

The rubber meets the road for goal setting when you have behaviors that actually are conducive to reaching those goals. If you find that when you write down a goal your feelings are that of relief for writing it down and espousing it but that’s where it ends, then you need to look at what you are doing or not doing and why this is the case.

For several years, I wrote “Run a 5k race” on my New Year’s resolution list. For several years, I did not run a 5k or any amount of running.

Sound familiar? If like me, you get as far as goal setting but you find you are not doing what it takes and then beating yourself up about it, then I have a solution for you.

First, look at your competing agendas, this is what you tell yourself is the reason why you cannot do x, y, z and in my case, I told myself I didn’t have time to run.
Now, you must ask yourself. What is really stopping me? What is my big assumption here? Do I really not have time? What am I doing that is a ‘boondoggle’ or time suck, that could be used for running time.
So, when you have found time, still you find that it’s not about that, what a surprise! Your big assumptions or implicit beliefs are lurking! Your mind is telling you that you dont have time but in all honestly you are scared of how much it will hurt! What if you cant do it? What if you cant achieve a simple 5k when you used to be a great athlete? True story. But, I ran that 5k last year and continue to run and do many other things by facing my fears, debunking them and giving myself permission to fail and be less than perfect. So whatever your goal is, look at what you are doing behaviorally to achieve it and then what you are not doing. Why are you not doing it? Look at what you tell yourself and the beliefs that you hold that get in your way. Be brave, it is not easy but you can do it.

If your beliefs feel paralyzing then talk to a coach! We can help you goal set and then change your mindset and behaviors to reach your goal.

If you are interested in hiring an executive coach, email nicki@theglasshammer.com directly or visit our sister company www.evolvedpeople.com to book your free, no obligation exploratory chat.

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Getting What You Want in 2018

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Nicki-Gilmour-bioBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Happy New Year!

Most of us have new resolutions and all of them will rely on a behaviorial change in their essence, as they require action. If you have figured out what you want (and what you don’t want) and have named this as a future state, then congratulations, the first part is done. But, now the goals are on paper, will you behaviorally do what you need to do to really achieve them?

The good news is that you are in charge of your choices.

The bad news is that your unconscious mind can totally hijack best laid plans by creating competing agendas. How does this show up? What saboteurs are lurking? What fears do you harbor that stop you from achieving your goals? Well, subtle behavioral conflict often happens and what you don’t do to meet your goals is worth deeper examination.

Changing or leaving your job is a common example of where you may espouse that you want to change jobs but here you are two years later still in the same spot. Maybe you have been looking, maybe you have even sent out a few resumes, but my bet is that there is truly something within yourself stopping you from doing what you need to do to get what you want. This might look like logic on the surface, like you tell yourself you don’t have time to network or you need more experience to apply. But, the interesting part of all of this is that in reality you are probably holding assumptions and beliefs that are stopping you from actioning your goals. Continuing with the “logic”, the “no time” reason is usually about a fear, and this can be anything from fear of not getting the job, to fear of not performing in the job, to even just a baseline rejection issue as well as many things including fear of what the next workplace culture might be. Sticking with “the devil you know” comes up more than you can imagine for people. Many of my clients are amazing, talented, experienced executives – women and men from different industries and they are also very human. We are all a product of our past experiences and our cultural benchmarks that often scar us from the cradle to the grave with “the way it is.”

Now, that is not to say that systemic factors are not at play, from biased hiring processes to saturation in your marketplace and turbulent external conditions. But, people get hired in up and down markets and it is the internal dialogue that you have with yourself that matters. Mindset work is key, as by understanding your own paradigms and mental models you can truly formulate practical strategies. I say this because I spent significant time in the past several years studying and researching why people fail to execute on their espoused plans from organization diversity plans to individuals who want things to change. The psychology of saying one thing and doing another is fascinating but we all do it to some extent and it happens because of cognitive dissonance or competing agendas propped up by deep implicit beliefs.

So, if you want to get to a different, better, future place than where you are now, please call me for an exploratory chat as we now have a full service sister coaching firm – Evolved People Coaching and we would be happy to find the right coach for you.

Here is to a great 2018!

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