Tag Archive for: Motherhood

Charlene Kennedy: CEO, PGIM Private Capital (Ireland)

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Charlene Kennedy“One of the key attributes of a great leader is authenticity, therefore I refuse to have separate work and home life personalities” says Charlene Kennedy. “ I believe it is time to change the message that women or indeed anyone, needs to adjust their personalities to fit with the corporate world.”

Kennedy speaks to starting out her working life as a mom, leading from authenticity and vulnerability, and holding your vision.

Going Into Her Career as a Young, Single Mom

Kennedy gave birth to her first son in her final year of law studies so being a working mom was her reality from the start: “When I think back, the image that really stands out is sitting at this desk in my little college apartment, the baby in a rocker, and me rocking the baby with my foot while working my way through big, thick law books.”

As a single mother, Kennedy completed her law licensing exams and then secured a role with PricewaterhouseCoopers in their corporate finance team where she qualified as an accountant.

Shortly before the banking crisis, she joined Bank of Scotland Ireland, and was there until the company exited the Irish market. Kennedy then reassessed where she wanted to live and moved to the north coast area of Ireland to enjoy the lifestyle and support of family while growing her own. It was there where she joined Prudential. Coinciding with the arrival of her third child, she moved into PGIM Private Capital, and became CEO of their Irish entity 18 months ago.

“It’s been an extremely challenging but also a very rewarding year. My legal background, my finance background, my banking background, every single one of those aspects I use and weave together in my day-to-day role as CEO,” says Kennedy. “Each twist and turn along the way led me to being the right person for this role at the right time.”

Why Being a Mom Enhanced Her Career

“In my early 20s, most of my peers and colleagues were out partying at the weekend. I think being a mom really focused me on my career,” reflects Kennedy. “I was either at work or studying, or I was looking after my son. I was very serious early because I had a lot of responsibility, which from a career aspect is very helpful.”

She still remembers her weekly and daily schedule, as keeping to a rhythm was important in making her full life work: “Those years built resilience. I gained an ability to deal with challenges, because I confronted so many of them early on.”

Being Led by Curiosity and Desire for Growth

“I am extremely curious. I believe that knowledge and perspective bring a deeper understanding of what you are doing and why you are doing it. The bigger picture perspective allows you to deliver over and above what your role allows and creates opportunity for you and your company,” says Kennedy.

An essential ingredient to self-development in leadership, she feels her curiosity has truly come into greater value in the C-suite, where Kennedy is constantly interpreting “what does this mean?”

Kennedy has learned to embrace that she’s wired for growth more than comfort.

“I’ve had to accept about myself, and my personality, that I always want to be involved and be moving forward,” says Kennedy. “Even when I have taken jobs that could be a Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, which are good from a lifestyle perspective, I could not just say stop and enjoy it. I couldn’t help but to involve myself in other projects.”

She has learned to manage her own drive to intentionally balance both family and work, which calls on those boundaries she learned young. Today, she is mom to three sons, who are 18, 4 and 2.

“I come home and I put down the phone or the laptop in a corner for family time,” says Kennedy. “I block out my calendar so nobody can put meetings in when the kids are home from daycare so I have those hours exclusively with them, and then I’m open to a meeting with colleagues once they are in bed.”

Holding To Your Vision

Along with many women in her generation, Kennedy feels she was strongly influenced in her worldview by seeing Mary Robinson, a lawyer, who had studied at Trinity College in Ireland and at Harvard Law School, become the first female president of Ireland in 1990: “My mother sat me down in front of the TV during the inauguration and said, ‘If a woman can become president of this country, there is nothing in this world stopping you from being who you want to be and doing what you want to do.’”

Kennedy feels that she internalized that message as a young woman, as did many women in her generation, and it has fortified their sense of belonging to their dreams.

From early on, Kennedy learned the value of keeping your eyes set on the big picture, regardless of situational challenges. “There have been hurdles and challenges along the way, but I don’t focus on them, I focus on where it is I want to go, and the hurdles eventually fade away, and I keep moving forward.”

“That’s the resilience I built,” she says.

Being Authentic as a Woman Leader and Embracing Vulnerability

The biggest skill that Kennedy has leaned into more in her CEO position is vulnerability.

“When you come from a technical background, whether it’s on the law side or the finance side, you pride yourself on technical knowledge and knowing everything about everything,” she notes. “As you step into leadership roles, that isn’t always going to be the case. You have to learn to be comfortable with not knowing everything and turning to others for guidance.”

“I like to surround myself with people that are a lot smarter than me and people from different backgrounds and perspectives. I embrace their challenge and feedback, and actually feel quite uncomfortable in an environment where everyone agrees with me.”

Kennedy has observed that if we truly value authenticity in leadership, then we should not encourage women to fit into a corporate mold that precludes the ability to be themselves.

“I love to see people push the boundaries a little. My husband, as a joke one year, bought me a book on defiant Irish women. I loved it. I keep that book on my desk, and it reminds me that we can achieve great things. You can be professional and successful, but you can also be yourself.”

Beyond all the advice one might receive on how you need to be and how you need to act as a leader, Kennedy suggests one benchmark: “At the end of the day, when you look back, how do you feel about how you behaved as a person? If you want to be proud of what you did, the way you do that is to be true to yourself.”

Being Approachable and Team-Oriented

Kennedy’s first partner she worked for at PwC is among her most inspiring leaders—and one she would want to emulate. He was personable, down-to-earth and approachable, but extremely knowledgeable and effective in his role. Those qualities inspired the organic support and loyalty of his team.

When it comes to managing her teams, Kennedy pulls from her experience playing team sports to emphasize the team approach: “We all have our roles and we all have to equally put in our input in order to deliver on a team focus,” she notes. “We all have our responsibilities, but we all need each other. It’s never about just one person, and when someone is overly focused on only themselves, it is disruptive.”

With time, the one thing Kennedy has improved on is embracing mistakes, and knowing that one mistake does not define a career nor negate your many accomplishments. She remembers a time when a mistake would have overtaken her focus, and she’s had to learn to overcome that tendency to beat herself up.

“I’ve learned to be easier on myself throughout the years. It’s still not easy and it’s something that I have to work at. I have found ways that help me relax, such as exercising and going to reflexology on a regular basis,” says Kennedy.

Kennedy’s sons are her greatest achievements. After hiking to Everest base camp back in 2012, she loves to hike in the mountains of coastal Ireland around Donegal with her family, where she relishes the energetic high of an expanded perspective.

By Aimee Hansen

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Hard Talk: Work, Motherhood and the Unfinished Discussion

By Nicki Gilmour

Welcome to my new column called Hard Talk.

Nicki GilmourThis column will surface the topics that are buried by most of us due to many reasons including fear, exasperation, denial, taboos and lack of information until we stumble upon the topic itself as a challenge. Also, happy Mother’s Day.

I am going to start by telling you I do not have all, if any, of the answers, but I do want to create the space for each of us to come up with our own answers while offering insight into the individual and common psychology that binds us. I believe there is value to putting on the table the systemic and psychological reasons that explain why important topics are often ignored by the best of us as it pertains to careers and the person we are inside and outside of the office building.

How to spot a difficult subject

There are so many things that we aren’t willing to talk about in society and, in this instance, corporate life. How do you spot a taboo or something that just isn’t “on the table,” or, weirdly, is half on the table, whereby the topic seems like it is being dealt with or is resolved already, but really isn’t?

A sign to look for is when the topic is mostly talked about in a personalized (subjective) way, pitting women or people against other women or other people, suggesting somehow it is not a systemic issue but rather a matter choices and opinions. This is false reasoning when the so-called choices are a binary revolving around a lose-lose paradigm that only one societal group has to participate in.

The topic must be identified for real solutions to be found.

Why is motherhood a minefield topic?

Motherhood is a tricky topic as it is an identity and a job in itself. Fatherhood, when played out as many fathers do now in the legacy mother role of primary caregiver, also begs analysis for bias, but for now we shall discuss motherhood. Not everyone wants (another taboo) or can have (another under-discussed taboo) babies. But for those who do, there is not a woman alive in a defined career trajectory who has not given serious thought to the timing and logistics of how having a kid will affect her career. Anxiety at worst, mindshare at best. Once in it, motherhood can become both a Chief Operations Officer job and an internship as moving parts and project scheduling and learning plus actual execution are all very much part of the job. This is on top of a (big, busy and important) day job.

Just to be clear, this column is not one of judgment or even grouping as everyone has different feelings towards ambition, guilt and their own individual needs regarding work and what they glean intellectually, emotionally and financially from doing it. Additionally, there are so many influencing elements around each person’s spousal division of labor, capacity to organize and delegate support. Then there is the other topic of how much money each person has to throw at solutions should their preference lie there. And if the primary care giver is your spouse – man or woman – the conversation certainly changes slightly.

The difficulty of saying small humans disrupt life as we know it

Why has it taken me 13 years and 8,000 articles published to touch this topic? Simply put, we were in another time era. It is only very recently that corporations are in a place to discuss policy around parental leave as opposed to maternity leave. Equal pay for the same job in the US and elsewhere – such as the UK – is still being truly decided and addressed. We are not as advanced as we think we are.

The perception around women and babies and how that somehow negatively affected productivity or competence was just too strong. It felt like even indulging in the conversation of babies impacting careers was an admission that there was validity to the possibility that it was so. Instead of speaking in terms of systemic changes, we were very much stuck in an individual choices discussion.

The denial around impact of any kind was necessary because it felt like a betrayal to the messaging around “you can do it,” “just lean in” and other Generation X messaging to women. Good men with willingness to change have continued to be messaged more or less the same “provider” talk until recently and those who bucked the trend have had their own bias to deal with, from being excluded from mommy coffee dates to how to enter a bathroom to change their babies.

Motherhood has been said to be the unfinished work of feminism in a matricentric theory and movement being proposed by Andrea O’Reilly. Motherhood has been largely left out of feminist theory and I think this is why my usual “push the envelope and talk about it anyway” trait, which has allowed us to talk about intersecting identities at work in so many forms, has not attracted me to this topic until now. Apparently I was not on my own but like my evolution on the willingness to talk about it, others indicate a sea change with The Guardian’s Amy Westervelt opining that, “Most surprising to me, as someone told by women’s magazine editors for years ‘we don’t cover motherhood’, is the fact that publications like Elle and Marie Claire appear to have lifted their long-standing ban on motherhood.”

Still an issue to resolve

Ann Crittenden, in her book “The Price of Motherhood”, states, “once a woman has a baby, the egalitarian office party is over thoroughly.”

And other people have written at length regarding the bias of motherhood for pay and promotions so it is felt currently by some and is far from a resolved issue, culturally. In fact, if you look at Wikipedia’s definition of “mommy track” it is interesting to see that they define it almost as a choice for women to take, instead of an action that happens to women by others.

No company has this issue cracked. But, some are trying hard to create conditions culturally and programmatically. It still feels like the conversation needs to be reframed and developed to redesign the workplace of the future with a society to match. In the meantime, look for those companies that remove the subjectivity of flextime or where parental leave is taken by men for real amounts of time. Live your values and instead of the lean in message, and perhaps focus on personal renewal while the system catches up.

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The Importance of Not Losing Yourself – in Work or Motherhood

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Working mother
Attending the needs of our children and responding to the demands of work may leave us with a sense of stripping us apart – especially when there can seem to be so many demands of both, often times appearing to be in conflict.

In the effort to manage and give your energy to both, you may begin to wonder where time and energy for you are in the middle of all of it.

How do you give your best to your career and motherhood and not lose yourself in the process?

You don’t have to lose yourself nor make sacrifices in your career or parenting to have fulfillment and enjoyment of all elements of your life.

If you have a sense that you are losing touch with yourself amongst the roles of parent and worker, there are some simple steps you can take to function a little differently and have greater success (and enjoyment) in your commitment to your kids, your career, and have a strong and healthy connection with yourself.

One important element to accomplishing this is choosing to be more present in your life. Contrary to what you might believe, being present is not about excluding one element or one part of your life in order to focus on another. It is being willing to be engaged with what is in front of you, while not dimming your awareness of everything else. You don’t have to put aside your role as a mother to do well at work, and you don’t have to forget your career skills and abilities in your parenting, and you do not have to exclude your own needs to successfully raise kids or have a career.

Here are three simple ways to invite more moments of presence and avoid losing you as you navigate the challenges of work and motherhood.

Start every day being present with you

One simple yet effective method to begin being more present with yourself is to consciously and regularly give you your undivided attention throughout the day.

This could begin by waking 15 minutes earlier each morning. In that time, give yourself some attention: “check in” with yourself. Take a moment to look in the mirror have a moment of gratitude for you (no judgment or criticism!). Use those minutes to have some fun. Play with what you are going to wear that day, read something that really inspires you, write something in a journal, or take some time to set some personal targets. Whatever you do, the point is to take that time to be with you first instead of rushing into the day’s activities. Use those moments to relax and be fully present with you and see the changes it starts to create in your day.

Choose some fun and lightness in moments throughout the day

When you have activities where you are on your own, where does your mind go? When you visit the gym, go to the supermarket, or drive, why not use those moments to do something for you, in your favour? Instead of repeatedly running through a to-do list, playing a movie of complaints or resentments, or fixating on things that have gone wrong, use those minutes to your advantage. Listen to music you like, take time to breathe and clear your head. Have fun with yourself. Tell yourself a joke or find something to laugh about. Even amid the most boring activity, what could you choose or put your attention on that would create some fun and lightness for you?

Be present with whatever comes your way

When you catch our mind wandering off-task, you may assume the remedy is to push those thoughts aside in attempt to narrow your focus. Rather than focus, be present with what is in front of you. The difference with being present is you can be there for the task at hand, but, unlike focus, you do not have to cut away anything else in your mind not related to that activity. It actually takes a lot more energy to exclude and focus than to be present and allow.

For example, if your child is coming to your mind while at work, allow it to be there. Allow the feelings you have for your child to be there, too. When you allow all of it to be there as part of you and your day, there is no need to put any energy or attention toward trying to avoid it.

What if the different areas of your life could contribute to each other and making you whole instead of split apart?

Losing yourself occurs when you believe you have to exclude any other part of you in the roles you play. By allowing yourself to bring all of you to work and motherhood, choosing to be more present with you in the moments of daily life, and by including your personal in the picture of your day, you will begin to have a greater sense of yourself in all elements of life, and you may find that you have a lot more energy and resourcefulness available to you than ever before.

Norma Forastiere is a business mentor, natural therapist and a self-proclaimed seeker, Norma began practicing mediation at an early age and then went on to study metaphysics and several energy healing and natural therapy modalities. A native Portuguese speaker with a proficiency in English and Spanish, Norma offers workshops and consultations for those willing to explore greater possibilities in life, communication and business. Follow Norma.

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Working mothers – find the company that makes your life easier!

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Working motherSo, having recently become a parent myself, I now finally understand some of the challenges of being everywhere at once that so many readers have told me about over the years. There are many ways to be great at work, great at home and maintain your sanity. Carol Evans (former CEO of Working Mother Magazine) wrote a great book in 2006 called “This is How We Do It: The Working Mother’s Manifesto” and in 2016 it is still one of the most practical books I have read on the topic. Carol is a friend of mine and we often discuss the fact that some companies more than others have led the way for working parents to thrive not just survive of both genders with innovative policies that they are continuing to develop. There are some personal choices to make and that is, yes very individual at times but I say we need to stop scrutinizing women’s choices. The best advice I can give you is to examine how family friendly your workplace is, because although some positions are rigid with their requirements, you would be surprised in reality what flexibility can become a reality in the near future

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com if you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work

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Having a baby? Why choosing the right employer will make your life better

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returnersOff the back of Facebook and Google’s announcement that employees will get financial assistance if they want to freeze their eggs, we look at what happens if you decide to take the plunge and have a child now. As any woman in the workforce or with a family can attest, there is no such thing as perfect timing when planning a baby but if you are thinking of doing it you need to choose your employer wisely. All employers are not created equal with leave and benefits especially in the U.S. where is the only one offering no paid compensation for maternity leave out of 21 high-income countries.

Read more

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