Tag Archive for: career advice

Laleh HancockBy Laleh Alemzadeh Hancock

Change is a natural part of living and business.

However, with the sudden and widespread changes catalyzed by the current global pandemic, and people required to work in isolation, it is impossible to continue business as usual without risk of quickly becoming redundant.

To stay relevant and thrive requires approach, starting with the willingness to step up to a new level of leadership – one that isn’t based on your or job title, but on your personal choice and demand to have a greater future, no matter what.

Sudden change of this degree is not necessarily comfortable, but it doesn’t have to be difficult or unpleasant. It can be a time of great growth and innovation.

Here are 4 key steps to lead from the front in unpredictable times, and from wherever you are currently working:

1. Be Present with What is Required Now

Fear in times of uncertainty can have a domino effect. With so many countries being impacted right now, perpetuating panic and doubt is counterproductive and even destructive. What was relevant in business yesterday no longer applies, so it is important to stay present and put your and your colleagues’ attention on what is possible now.

Ask questions to stay generative:

• What does my job and organization require of me, my colleagues and staff today?
• What are our clients looking for now?
• How do I position my skills, staff, projects and the organization so that we are relevant now and in the future?

Don’t assume that business will eventually “go back to normal” or function as before. It may, and it may not. Ask different questions, seek different perspectives, engage with new innovations and ideas. There are always more possibilities available than you think.

2. Engage, Engage, & Keep on Engaging

The world of telecommuting can put a wall between you and others, but it doesn’t have to. Multiple-participant videoconferencing platforms are available for connecting with ease, and the “old fashioned” way of picking up the telephone is more relevant than ever now! Look outside the box. Who can you engage with and what questions can you ask that will create more for you, your teams, projects, and wider business?

Also, recognize that messaging and email are ways of delivering information, they are not communication. Don’t misidentify or mistake them as a substitute for actual interaction.

Taken for granted patterns of relating to people and business at the office won’t work anymore, either. If there are places in your life and business where you have been sitting back, hiding, unwilling to be in front or have your voice, now really is the time to change it. Your awareness, creativity, ideas, and ability to look at new opportunities with and for your organization are going to be needed more than ever before, no matter your title.

Each day, ask, “How can I allow my difference to shine through and contribute in ways I’ve not considered before?”

3. Prioritize Your Body

The new demands of mixed work and homelife and the mental and physical stresses of adapting to them mean that finding outlets for nurturing you and your body are more paramount than ever. To better be present, engaged and empowered from a distance, you’ll require a degree of self-care that you cannot put on the backburner.

Step away from your work and life demands at regular intervals to relax and breathe for 5 minutes: Close your eyes, feel your feet on the ground, place your hands on your stomach, and breathe in. For 3 breaths, imagine pulling your breath up from the bottom of your feet to the top of your head, through your body and deep into the earth. For the next 3 breaths, pull your breath up through the earth, your body and out the top of your head.

Move every day and connect with nature. From inside your house or go outdoors and let the sun, trees, and fresh air rejuvenate you. Check in with your body every day and take action early when you perceive tension or signs of fatigue.

4. Be the Leader of Your Future

To be essential and relevant, you must stop looking externally for answers or for others to choose for you. You have to be the leader of your life every single day. Don’t wait. Create!

Each day has new requirements and new possibilities. Mentally clear the slate every morning and don’t reference the past to create your future. Ask, “What is possible today that was not yesterday?”

For better or worse, the old world no longer exists. You can choose to hide, fade and become irrelevant, or step up, take the lead, and create greater.

Your willingness to be a different voice and a leader for a greater future is what is needed now more than ever. Ask questions, be present, engage, nurture your body and your future. With these choices, you’ll create more than you currently think is possible in business and life, no matter where you are or what is occurring.

Laleh Alemzadeh-Hancock is a leadership and entrepreneurial coach, professional services consultant, personal wellness mentor, and founder and CEO of global professional services company, Belapemo. Laleh boasts 30 years’ experience in operational excellence, change management and business consulting, and has inspired and empowered millions of individuals including Fortune 500 executives, government agencies, non-profit organizations, athletes and veterans. A highly respected executive and leadership coach, Laleh has a particular interest in supporting and encouraging the leadership capabilities of women – in business, in the workplace, at home and in the wider community. She is featured alongside luminaries such as Oprah Winfrey, Melinda Gates, and Ginni Rometty in the 2019 publication, America’s Leading Ladies: Stories of courage, challenge and triumph. Follow Laleh.

Lisa GableBy Lisa Gable

I’ve been fortunate to have had a front row seat at major inflection points in history, beginning with my time at the Reagan Defense Department during the final days of the Cold War.

I had actually transferred to the White House just a few months prior to Gorbachev’s 1987 visit. Later, I joined Intel Corporation and had a chance to work on a part of the Intel Inside® program, which changed consumer tech purchasing habits forever, leading to Intel’s dominant semiconductor market share in the 90s. My husband and I enjoyed the dot-com boom and thankfully survived the bust.

In 2004-2005, working closely with the auto industry, I hosted a hallmark Nagoya meeting between Toyota patriarch Dr. Shoichiro Toyoda and General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner. Our building was surrounded by hundreds of Japanese paparazzi as the companies battled it out for top global sales position with the Japanese automaker maintaining the edge. And in 2009, as obesity was emerging as a global health risk, I worked with 16 food and beverage company CEOs to help reduce 6.4T calories from 35% of the food sold in the United States.

As an observer, a participant and a leader during times of historic change, I learned to plan for multiple scenarios when redesigning and building high-impact, sustainable operations. Here’s what I know about managing through an inflection point:

• Always plan for disaster. Anticipate that at some stage, something will fail and determine whether or not the systems you have built will survive significant fallout from political or economic events, regulation or new competition. The question I ask daily is, “If we have the worst market crash tomorrow will we be able to sustain our core research infrastructure?”

• Hire smart people and help them move quickly by moving boulders out of their way.

• Look for opportunities to partner with other organizations to decrease costs by supplementing existing activities, creating new channels or outsourcing lower-yielding but well-loved legacy initiatives.

• Run as fast as you can. Do not slow down. You only have a short window of time in which to build and you need to move quickly.

• Preserve cash. Organizations who maintain lean operating systems and build reserves have the highest probability of riding out the worst market.

In 2018, when I joined FARE [Food Allergy Research and Education] as its CEO, rather than experience an inflection point, for the first time I may have created one for the organization. With a remit to restructure the organization and facilitate high-net-worth donor and industry investment to drive therapies and diagnostics into the marketplace to meet the needs of an underserved patient community, in 12 months we received $75M in commitments and put into place a cash conservation plan.

Now amidst the COVID-19 pandemic and even as some states and businesses prepare to open, at another inflection point. You simply never know when the inflection points will arise, yet here we are again as organizations try to pause to help others, while doing their best to stay relevant and generate revenue to support the needs of populations they serve.

Today, my staff knows that all ideas are on the table as we meet 2020 objectives in unanticipated ways. We are culling through my archives of the most innovative concepts executed by former teams during opportunity and crisis as we look for that kernel of a concept that can be reimagined and extended. Interestingly, we are finding that ideas gleaned from science fiction, spy novels and murder mysteries sometimes lead to the next new idea. We take thoughts and play them out in a 100 percent digital engagement or a combination concept like 10 and under in-person salons connected via Zoom across the country. And we find our humor and celebrate wins daily.

As Andy Grove says: “Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.” While we are in the midst of a pandemic, and closures and work stoppages may seem disastrous, keep running and do your best to enjoy your front row seat. It will help for next time.

Lisa Gable is CEO of FARE, Food Allergy Research Education, the largest private funder of food allergy research advocating on behalf of the 32 million Americans living with potentially life-threatening food allergies. Lisa’s passion, expertise, and fearless workstyle have propelled her to achieve the titles of CEO, US Ambassador, UN Delegate, Chairman of the Board, and advisor to Presidents, Governors, and CEOs of Fortune 500 and CPG Companies worldwide.

Vicki Brakl Opportunity is often dependent on timing, says Vicki Brakl.

“If you have a good idea, speak up! Good ideas come from everywhere. What’s most important is for leaders to foster an open-minded environment where all ideas are considered.”

This is something Brakl has experienced throughout her career. She knows firsthand that people (including herself) frequently defer to those in senior positions as a sign of respect. What’s important to distinguish is that respect doesn’t indicate silence. This allows for the strongest ideas to be built upon for all to benefit.

Looking for New Challenges to Stretch her Talents

Status quo is definitely not something Brakl ever sought. In fact, she has always said yes to opportunities where she felt she could learn something new. She describes her career path as “winding”—always moving forward, based on curiosity and a desire to stretch herself along the way.

Brakl says she’s been lucky to never have had to “search for a job,” so to speak, and she attributes that to the fact that she has always done what she’s said she’s going to do; while it sounds simple, this work ethic can be in short supply.

“I want to work with smart, motivated, curious people, but also precise communicators and problem solvers who bring solutions and new ideas. I like to think that I’ve been that person to others,” Brakl says.

She found her ideal career through trial and error, including stints in the legal profession and investment banking. While the culture wasn’t for her, Brakl didn’t want to give up on business overall so she went to business school. After a full-time internship, she received a great job offer and cut her teeth on the client-side at one of the largest consumer packaged goods companies, giving her nine-years of experience. She then went to the agency side where she could work with different types of clients, from retail to pharmaceutical, and then on to a private equity group. All of these opportunities allowed her to learn and hone diverse skillsets.

Brakl’s current job came courtesy of a family friend who needed someone experienced in integrated marketing. Although she’d bought media and created strategic media plans, she’d never been on the sales side, but again, she relished the chance to try something new.

Helping Others Grow Their Careers

Throughout her career, Brakl points to several business successes—from pitching for huge budgets to unwinding companies and making clients whole. But what she’s most proud of is the  personal outreach of appreciation from those whose careers she’s touched. “It could be a note that they enjoyed working with me, or that a piece of advice I gave them sent them on a new course, or that they’ve found me to be an inspiring leader. These types of acknowledgments touch me most deeply because the personal relationships are what it’s all about.”

Providing that career upskilling is now an official part of her job, as she was recently promoted and added training to her purview. “For an organization of our size, training oversight is exciting because of the ability it gives me to touch people,” she says, adding that maintaining a strong culture is particularly important given their dispersed and diverse workplace.

“I’m excited about what a formalized training process can do to make a difference in uniting a company where people sit in home offices across 43 markets.” And in her new role, she intends to focus on providing ways for all employees to expand their knowledge base beyond their day-to-day responsibilities.

Brakl sees that the work world is moving more toward valuing productivity and results versus hours and thinks that will be a benefit to all, but especially to women. “You have to find the right place where you can work on your own terms in your own way. It’s not just about balance per se, but managing your life and career over the long haul in a way that’s sustainable.”

She encourages young professionals to ask for challenges in order to bolster their career. “When you are offered an opportunity, take it and run. Don’t be afraid to ask questions because that’s where the learning happens,” she says.

And while asking questions is important, so is speaking up in general. She cautions other women not to allow others to appropriate their ideas. She’s seen it all too often: you will offer an idea only for someone else to tweak it and play it off as their own. “Say it again and don’t let them get away with it. Gracefully bring it back to you with a calm remark such as, ‘As I said,’” she suggests.

Currently, two-thirds of the workforce at her company are women, with 60% at director level, and Brakl is one of four on the executive team. While the numbers continue to grow, she knows there can always be improvement and looks forward to making a difference in her new role.

Outside of work, Brakl is busy with her 5-year-old, and not a day goes by that she doesn’t learn something new by seeing the world through her eyes. “I try to harness her viewpoint and be as non-judgmental as a child. It has really  affected my perspective.”Yoga keeps her mind and body flexible; it’s just a matter of finding the time. Brakl notes that along with family, friends and keeping yourself healthy, that’s a full plate. “It all helps you be a better professional and mom,” she says.

Nicki GilmourHappy President’s Day 2020. We are taking a publishing break this week to work on our new site behind the scenes that should be launching at the end of March. Look out for that. Also, as it is the school holidays for many, we urge you to smell the roses and spend time with those who matter and want to talk our own advice there too.

In the meantime, here is a selection of our favorite “how to” career articles. Career articles regarding “how to” never get old! Here are 5 picks that our readers liked most and have some of the highest readership figures over our thirteen years of bringing you the information that matters regarding how to navigate to the next level, beat the office blues and break your own glass ceiling:

Some were written a while ago but remain solid in their advice and relevancy. Enjoy and see you next week!

1.How to Survive a Re-Org and keep your career on track

2. Negotiation Tactics to close the gender wage gap

3. What to do when you feel undervalued at work?

4. Are you an “insecure overachiever?” stop the imposter syndrome

5. Who is on your Board of Directors?

6. Get Promoted in 2020!

7. Negotiate More Vacation Days!

8. Avoid Burnout with this article and this one too.

9. How and When to find a new job.

10. Use the Lattice not the ladder in your career.

Coaching is the ultimate career secret weapon and is where the rubber meets the road since advice is generic but coaching is specific to who you are and where you are.

If you want to be coached as a soon to be or a new leader or even just want to be even more excellent than you are today, then get in touch with Nicki  (nicki@theglasshammer.com) for a free exploratory chat to see if leadership or executive or career coaching is for you. Write coaching in the title of the email so you dont get lost in the pile.

We have a number of excellent associate coaches ( all Columbia University qualified) who can be matched with you, including Nicki who is also an organizational psychologist, looking at the systemic as well as the individual career enablers and de-railers.

Enjoy the week!

Negotiation tacticsNegotiation seems to be the best way to fight the gender pay gap. In general, it has been shrinking in recent years, according to a glassdoor study, the current status of the wage gap in the US is still at about 21%, which figures into women making an astonishingly unfair .79 cents for every dollar a man makes in aggregrate. We understand that each company and each industry differs in efforts to remedy this historical issue, but one thing is clear at the current rate it will take about 40 years to reach an equitable pay scale, according to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research.  Negotiation tactics can be an important tool for women in the fight for equal pay.

Negotiation Tips for Women

Potentially the number one weapon in the arsenal against the gender pay gap is improved negotiation tactics for women. According to a recent Harvard Law article, studies surrounding the negotiation of salary demonstrate that male candidates tend to use tactics that achieve better results than women. Deeply ingrained societal biases surrounding gender roles prevent traditional male-centric negotiation strategies from being as effective for women as they might otherwise be. However, there are ways that women can significantly affect the gap by educating themselves in tactics that work well, combating gender biases and stereotypes.

University of Münster’s Jens Mazei and colleagues studied the strengths women had when compared to men in negotiation in a paper called “A Meta-Analysis on Gender Differences in Negotiation Outcomes and Their Moderators” published in the Psychological Bulletin. They discovered some intriguing ideas that indicated how women could leverage strategies that would narrow the gender pay gap significantly. Here are five findings to use in your negotiation approach:

1. Reframe the conversation: Mazei’s research indicates that due to a societal understanding of women as nurturing, women in negotiation are more effective when they consider the idea that they are working on behalf of someone other than themselves. When women come into a negotiation with a supportive notion that they are fielding a larger purpose, such as getting more for their team or even fighting gender inequality so that the next generation will get a fair shake, they tend to be more effective in negotiation.

2. Get used to the bargaining table: Like anything else, negotiation takes practice. Because, perhaps, gender bias perpetuates the attitude that it is unseemly for women to engage in negotiations, men generally have put a great deal more time into it. This lack of experience, however, is a large factor in the imbalance between men and women in this area. Getting as much negotiation experience as possible will help even the odds significantly. Practicing bargaining with others in simulation on a regular basis can have a very positive effect on the real process.

3. Informational gathering including salary transparency: Having all of the facts surrounding a position may be even more crucial for women in negotiation than it would be for a male candidate. According to Glassdoor, when women know the specific salaries, for example, of those that work in comparable positions, they have an improved ability to negotiate more equitable compensation. Indeed, companies that practice more transparency in salary have been shown to more actively lessen the wage gap in their workplaces. In addition, Mazei mentions, not only do women feel more confident in negotiation when they have this kind of information, because it is not subjective, it is easier for women to reference a concrete number without facing adverse reactions from men who might otherwise feel their authority challenged.

4. Control your visual cues: Understanding how you are presenting yourself when in an interview is obviously very useful. Some tactics that have been suggested when it comes to body language that helps women in negotiation is to make regular eye contact. Also, make low broad gestures that originate from the shoulders instead of at the elbow; this is something that expands your body allowing you to take up space more effectively. Making sure you are presenting yourself in a position of strength is something that male negotiators do regularly and should be a common practice for women as well.

5. Think about your word choices: According to executive speech coach Darlene Price, aspects of vocal inflection like upspeak can undermine the idea that you have confidence in your statement. So can putting qualifying words on the ends of otherwise concrete statements; it creates the impression of hedging. If you find you are adding phrases like, “Do you agree?” or “Right?” unconsciously to the end of statements, it is not supporting your cause and promotes the idea that you require validation for your thoughts.

It’s unfortunate that women need to work harder than men in the current system to achieve something as basic as salary equity, but many do. Employing negotiation tactics like these can help women to reach this desired reality more quickly.

Guest Contributed by Sierra Skelly

About the Author

Sierra Skelly is a creative writer and marketer from San Diego. She loves red wine, black coffee, and chilling murder mystery novels with a strong female lead.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

Holly Batchelor-Anisha George-Meyanna Jiang

Meyanna Jiang, Anisha George, and Holly Batchelor

Three colleagues on growing as a leader, connecting with mentors and “managing up.”

In the December edition of The Glass Hammer, three colleagues at Goldman Sachs delve deep, sharing their best practices for success – ranging from thinking strategically and helping to further their teams’ goals to balancing competing priorities and “managing up.” Meet the interviewees and hear their take:

· Holly Batchelor is a vice president in Securities, based in Hong Kong

· Anisha George is an associate in Compliance, based in Bengaluru

· Meyanna Jiang is a vice president in Controllers, based in New York

Reflecting on your career at Goldman Sachs to date, what advice would you share with individuals just starting out?

· Meyanna: Be curious in your work, and look for ways to keep yourself challenged. I try to do one thing that scares me each week, whether it be public speaking, or volunteering for a project that I might not know much about.

· Holly: The ability to grow and nurture your network is invaluable – you might not realize it now, but the people you work with and get to know at the beginning of your career can be hugely influential and helpful later on.

· Anisha: I have found that projects others were not interested in working on ultimately had the biggest impact on my career. In addition, I would remind others that each individual has a unique journey – everyone’s path to success is different. I have learned to find joy and meaning in my own journey by setting personal goals and working to achieve them.

What actions do you take throughout your day to ensure you’re best helping your team and furthering its mission and strategy?

· Holly: I try to share as much information as possible with my team and keep everyone in the loop. Work is more enjoyable and fulfilling when you know why you’re working on a task, and are aware of the strategy you’re helping to implement.

· Meyanna: When I introduce a new project or task for my team, I aim to provide sufficient context by explaining how this deliverable supports our firmwide or divisional strategy.

How do you allocate time for both strategic thinking and execution in your role?

· Holly: Knowledge is power. Having a sense of what the market looks like and what our competitors are doing allows me to develop a strategy for my team and our plan for execution.

· Meyanna: I like to think of this as “zooming in” and “zooming out.” If the CEO stopped by your desk while you were in the middle of analyzing millions of rows of data and asked, “What are you working on?” how would you respond in a sentence or two? This exercise helps me think strategically.

What recommendations do you have for balancing competing priorities?

· Holly: To-do lists! It’s important to stay on top of priority projects, even as things pop up that require immediate attention. I often use the “big rock, pebble, sand” analogy when thinking about what I need to set aside time for: the big rocks are my major tasks and strategic initiatives, the pebbles are shorter-term tasks of lesser importance, and the sand is minor tasks that aren’t essential to my success.

· Meyanna: Stay organized, whether it’s adding calendar reminders, writing to-do lists, or color-coding emails to help you stay on track. I also remind my team that it’s okay to push back on requests or to say “no” when needed. Unless you speak up, no one will know that you need help.

· Anisha: It’s important to remember that having a fulfilling life outside of work helps your career and your work product. It might seem unrelated, but I think you can bring a more positive energy to the office when you have personal interests that also motivate you.

Any lessons learned on the importance of delegating?

· Meyanna: I’ve learned that the worst thing you can do as a manager is to delegate a task and then take it back, because this demotivates the team and makes them feel like their work is not valued. I’ve also learned that I need to provide “air cover” and give enough space for my team members to fail safely.

· Anisha: I used to dislike delegating because it required me to put in extra time and effort, but over time I realized that I would not be half as successful as I am today if every leader who invested in me had felt the same way about delegating. You can’t lead if no one is following.

· Holly: Delegation gives you the capacity to stretch further to build your business, and it allows you to effectively train and coach the colleagues whom you are delegating work to. Delegating work to others also allows for greater diversity of thought and experience, which often leads to better solutions.

How do you “manage up” with senior stakeholders?

· Anisha: Before meeting senior stakeholders I make sure to always prepare – people want to feel that their time is being valued, and adequate preparation helps shape and inform your conversation. When you have a strong agenda and follow-up plan when connecting with stakeholders, “managing up” just happens.

· Holly: First, you need to identify who your stakeholders are and what is important for them. Then, determine how they like to be kept up to date – do they prefer face-to-face catch ups, e-mail summaries, a full business plan? Adapting your style to match theirs will have much more of an impact.

Do you have a mentor or sponsor? If so, how do you make the most of your conversations with them?

· Holly: I have mentors within and outside of the firm that I often reach out to for advice. I put notes in my calendar to schedule catch-ups with them in order to nurture the relationship, just as you would with a client or stakeholder in your business.

· Meyanna: I have relationships with both mentors and sponsors, and many of these connections have formed organically. Managers can be a great resource, too – they have introduced me to contacts in their networks. Prior to each conversation with them, I write down a few topics for discussion, such as challenges in my day job or planning for the next step in my career.

· Anisha: I have more than one mentor because I value receiving guidance from different stakeholders. My mentors have diverse perspectives and push me to evaluate situations in different ways.

Have you participated in mobility? Do you have any advice for colleagues interested in either switching roles or offices?

· Meyanna: If you are exploring a role switch, raise your hand. Mention to your manager or mentor that you are interested in learning more about a certain business or working in a different location. It is easier for them to help you if they know your interests. In the meantime, continue being a rock star in your current role and look for ways to give yourself exposure to areas you are interested in.

· Anisha: I recently accepted a new role in Goldman Sachs Asset Management and will be relocating from Bengaluru to Dublin in January. The best advice I received when I was considering mobility was to focus on “What?” and “Why?” – meaning, “What do you want to do long-term?” and “Why do you want to move?” Once you have answered these questions, your options will become more clear.

Do you have a personal development plan to keep yourself accountable?

· Meyanna: I recommend writing down your goals. My last set of short- and long-term goals were written on a post-it note stuck to a bar of chocolate. (My team knows I always keep chocolate at my desk.) As I slowly finished the chocolate bar, I found that I was able to complete my goals over time. In addition, I find that it is helpful to share your goals with a buddy, who can help hold you accountable.

· Holly: In the early stages of my career I didn’t have any plan other to absorb as much information as possible. That hasn’t changed, but I now also set career goals with deadlines based on discussions I have with my mentors and stakeholders – incorporating their input is important in order to set realistic goals.

· Anisha: I think about where I want to be in one year and in 10 years, and develop my short- and long-term plans to achieve those goals. It’s necessary to also be nimble and update your goals as your world evolves.

female leaders

Guest Contributed by Kathleen Kuhn

It’s time to drop the “female” qualifier and see yourself just as a leader.

There’s been a huge push for gender equality in the workplace in recent decades, and no one can argue that, overall, female leaders have greater representation and visibility today than ever before. As of 2018, 40% of all businesses in the U.S. were owned by women, including 1 in 5 firms that earn over $1M in revenue. In the last 20 years, the number of women CEOs at Fortune 500 companies has risen from just two (1999) to a record-high of 33 (2019).

This is certainly positive news, but it’s only one small slice of the larger picture. Things look a bit bleaker when you zoom in on industries that are traditionally male-heavy, such as construction, trucking, and any of the STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) fields.

According to research by Catalyst, just 6.6% of American women work full-time in occupations that have 75% or more male representation – and with so few women in these professions overall, it’s understandable that female leaders might find it challenging to command respect.

Gender as a leadership qualifier: Why do we care if a leader is female?

Much research has been done on the differences between male and female leadership styles, and the results are often complicated. The American Psychological Association says that all things being equal, men and women are equally effective as leaders, with the caveat that “all things rarely are equal.”

Contributing to this inequality are some persistent perceptions and stereotypes that make women less likely to be seen as leaders. A University of Buffalo study found that conventionally masculine traits, like confidence, assertiveness, and dominance, beat out “feminine” traits, such as cooperativeness, nurturing, sensitivity, and concern for others, in terms of who was viewed as a “leader.”

This, perhaps, explains why women leaders in male-heavy industries have felt like they needed to act like men to be successful and get ahead. Unfortunately, doing so only serves to normalize the existing gender gaps and stereotypes.

On the flip side, other women subscribe to Sheryl Sandberg’s now-famous “Lean In” mantra, which encourages women to take charge of their careers and fight gender inequality by boosting their own skills and confidence. This solution is only marginally better than “acting like a man:” As the Harvard Business Review notes, the idea of leaning in puts the onus of change entirely in the hands of women, when in reality, all genders must contribute to the systemic and societal shifts that will ultimately balance the scales.

How to stake your claim as a leader

So what’s the answer, then? We can start by not focusing so intently on a leader’s gender and instead focus on how effective they are at leading their companies.

Yes, it can be intimidating to be the only woman in a room full of men if you allow it to be. It’s not uncommon for women to think about how those men might be judging and underestimating you because of your gender. But the truth is, the gender mix in a meeting, on a team, or in an entire industry is irrelevant if not beneficial. Your gender is irrelevant; what matters is your performance and your contribution to the overall business and its culture.

As a female executive or senior leader working in a traditionally male profession, here are a few things you can do to focus on good leadership without a gender qualifier.

1. Show your people you care about them

Human beings are social creatures. We need support and recognition from our team to thrive. A report by the Society for Human Resource Management cited some of the benefits of a more caring, human-focused workplaces, including better employee performance, improved safety and health, and greater worker satisfaction and commitment. So, ask people how they’re doing. Get to know them as individuals who have personal lives outside of their jobs. While you’re in the workplace together, acknowledge their accomplishments and express your appreciation for their contributions to the company.

2. Listen to criticism (but don’t take it personally)

Being a leader means you’re going to make some difficult and unpopular decisions. It’s not possible to please everyone on your team, and at some point, you’ll be on the receiving end of negative feedback about your leadership style.

It’s important not to take these things personally, but instead, listen to the criticism and work with your team to find a solution. Research from the University of Bath and the University of Oklahoma found that leaders who respond to intense criticism with a collaborative strategy tend to retain follower support and achieve better outcomes than those who respond by avoiding the issue or diverting attention elsewhere.

3. Stop defining yourself as a female leader

There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in your femininity or celebrating your unique perspective and experiences as a woman. But calling attention to gender differences in your leadership style may ultimately perpetuate existing and perceived gaps between men and women in the workplace. Try to avoid focusing on the gender count in the meeting and simply show up as a competent executive.

The bottom line? When women confidently present themselves simply as leaders, rather than female leaders, it’s easier for everyone else to see them that way, too.

About the Author

Kathleen Kuhn is President and CEO of HouseMaster and PatchMaster, two franchise brands in the home services industry with locations across North America. As head of HouseMaster, the original home inspection franchise, Kathleen oversees an organization with more than 320 franchise locations across the U.S. and Canada. And as the CEO of PatchMaster, Kathleen leads a new, fast growing drywall repair specialty concept with 19 franchises signed in 46 territories with 10 franchises opened and operating.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

 

imposter syndrome insecure overachieverMy bet is that if you are reading this column you have either googled the words “imposter syndrome” or “insecure overachiever” at least once.

Maybe more than 50% of readers today might identify with all or some of the traits and behaviors that apply to insecure overachievers since people who read theglasshammer are seeking career advice, information or inspiration of some kind.

I can tell you that most of us are driven by something.

Fear of failure comes up a lot amongst highly successful executives and how could it not? The stakes are high and what got you to where you are is an individual mix of skills and behaviors purely contextual to your lived experiences in your organization. The culture that each firm and team embodies varies and evolves moment to moment and person to person but is very relevant to norming overwork as a good thing. But imagine what your life would be like if failure large or small was seen as a learning experience and not a devastating event?

Driven people are driven by something and it is not usually ambition for ambition’s sake, if you think for a second about that. Motivations behind all behaviors can be somewhat simplified by categorizing them into three summarized buckets that Socrates and then Plato spoke of much less concisely in The Republic:

1) Gain, or what’s in it for me?

2) Honor, such as high altruism traits or desire to leave a legacy work

3) Fear, or what will happen if I fail or do not do this

Many successful people in the world are insecure overachievers because always wanting better has given us great products and services and achievements as humans. No matter how you cut it, subjective judgment, and in this case your subjective judgment against yourself to believe there is a better product or version that you can produce next time, fuels innovation.

However, where hardworking, smart people fall under the insecure overachiever definition is when fear is extreme, almost all-consuming, and underlined by a feeling of permanent inadequacy despite having a range of actual significant achievements. “Work harder” is what people who suffer from this implicitly tell themselves. And in a world of more is more for work in many industries the norm is to put in long hours and show commitment, so discovering this issue may be harder than for people who work in very balanced, life- and family-centric societies.

Imposter syndrome fits here too when fear includes a feeling of secret shame of not being good enough and shows up as fear of being found out as a fraud. Usually, this comes with a feeling of needed external validation as the person cannot validate themselves. The person can feel anxious and unhappy no matter how many advanced degrees completed with honors and jobs they have excelled at. No matter how much money they earn or amazing projects they have completed, they can only see the future challenge in future time and cannot enjoy their past achievements or present successes.

If any of this sounds familiar, it is entirely important to get to the root cause of why you feel how you feel. It is usually sitting in your subconscious as a construct or several constructs that have formed into a belief.

Here is what you need to do:

1) Decide if you want to change from a stressed-out, unhappy ?insecure overachiever? or someone who doesn?t belong or deserve their success.

2) Get a goal, such as ?be more content with my work achievements? or ?look at balance of my entire life, not just work? or ?get healthy mentally and physically in 2020.?

3) Work on awareness and making explicit to yourself what you tell yourself when you indulge in some self-deprecation (and not the modest, historically British kind).

4) Read ?Immunity to Change? which provides a great model for practical use around seeing what hidden competing agendas you might be carrying around that are thwarting your goal of being more sustainable and satisfied.

5) Call me and sign up for a coaching pack of 5 sessions to support and facilitate this work. As a coach who has written a paper at Columbia University on how goal setting is derailed by the subconscious, I can help you.

Ready to start? Book your first coaching session here for 90 minutes (pay online) and get started on the mental debris so that you enter 2020 in a new mindset with a real plan.

Or book a free 15-minute exploratory call here to see if this is for you.

 

Power in CommunicationWhat comes to mind when you think about being present in business? Is it having razor-sharp focus, paying attention to every detail, anticipating every possible flaw or problem, looking people in the eye when they talk to you?

We are taught that focusing on one aim or purpose in life or business to the exclusion of everything else is how to be present. What if that actually keeps you from being present and therefore being able to authentically engage and have greater power in communication with others? Being present doesn’t mean being single-minded. Being present doesn’t mean putting blinders on. In fact, focusing on one thing or person requires you to cut off everything else around you.

What if you could be aware of everything that is going on, being said and happening around you? That is being present.

So why would you do that?

Abraham Maslow said, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” The quality of your life depends on your presence in the moment and that is the key to gain greater power in communication as well.

Being in the moment does not require effort if you allow yourself to expand and give up being single-minded. You lose focus is because you’ve learned to hone in on one thing and if something else is getting your attention, you don’t know how to be present with everything.

Rather than being caught up in conclusions or decisions of what is required right now – trust your knowing, your inner voice, your intuition, which often leads you in a direction throughout the day that you might not have thought of or been able to plan. Would you be willing to have that trust in yourself?
What prevents a lot of people from following their knowing or their inner voice is their reluctance to be open to the unknown, which is sometimes uncomfortable but can stretch your life to greater possibilities. Get comfortable being uncomfortable – that is where change happens, and you become greater. Your presence will increase, and you will become unstoppable.

Here are five tips to total presence and gaining influence:

1. Asking questions

A question always opens up new possibilities. Ask to be present as then it becomes something you be and not something you do.

Another question: what requires my attention right now? If I allow myself to be present with everything what do I know here? What action could I take next?

2. Be interested not interesting
To gain greater power in communication a vital element is to listen and be interested in the other person. This is a way to make the other person feel worthy and helps them open up to you.

3. Exercise

Be aware and get present with three points of your body. This is a great way to bring you back to yourself. Whenever you have the feeling you are everywhere and nowhere, and therefore you are not able to be present with what is going on in the moment, recall this exercise. You’ll experience for yourself how easy it is to get centered. Just try!

4. Lower your barriers

The next time you start getting defensive or feel like you need to forcefully put forward your side of the argument, stop, breathe and just imagine pushing your walls or defenses down.

How does it work? Ask for your barriers to lower in any moment of your life. Practice it in your daily life so that you get a sense for what occurs.

Barriers separate us from each other, and true presence is not possible with them. You always will be hiding behind walls, which does not allow you to fully engage with the moment.

What creates the ability for other people to judge you or oppose you is when you resist and react or when there is something to bounce off.

Whatever people throw at you it is not real, it’s just their point of view.
The other person will be stuck with their judgment, not you, when you have your barriers down. Lowering your barriers will free you.

Being totally present and pulling down all of your barriers and having no point of view of what they may or may not think of you disarms every person and changes the situation. This is the space of allowance that is possible when you are without barriers and walls.

5. The key to being neutral

Choosing to function from what some would call a neutral or open-minded perspective, so as not to hold on to any point of view, gives you more choices and flexibility. Holding on to a point of view keeps you from having power as it limits you within right and wrong/good and bad parameters. A key element of gaining power in communication is not holding on to any point of view, but to have the freedom of all choices in the moment and the willingness to receive any information.

How many thoughts about you and being present do you have that are filled with judgments? By living them over and over again, you continue to attract more of them. This way of thinking takes you away from the presence that is possible and fuels the fight against you.

These points of view can really lock up and limit your life, your business and your reality. So, the key to freedom is, “Everything is just an interesting point of view,” as this starts to unlock the limitations defined by the point of view.
Here’s how it works: every time you get into a mind spin where you are circling around a point of view you can say to yourself, “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view.” Repeat this ten times and sense the freedom that opens up. You will gain more clarity and create ease in your world.

You can feel fully alive or miserable in any moment. It is the choice you make that creates your influence and impact with every conversation you have. Stop resisting the present. Instead engage with every moment and make your choices towards being present and gaining greater power in communication by using these tools and never give up.

Guest Contributed by Doris Schachenhofer

About the Author

After completing her social work studies in Vienna, Doris Schachenhofer worked with children, homeless people, delinquent teenagers and prisoners transitioning back into the real world. Today she travels the world teaching and supporting people to be more of themselves. Follow Doris here and on Instagram.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

Nicki GilmourIt may sound crazy and slightly anxiety-inducing at a time when you have enough to fit in to your busy life, but it might just serve you well to review last year’s goals now.

Why? Firstly, you can review how you did against those espoused goals. If the answer to that is “not great” then you have a massive opportunity to ask yourself “What matters now?”

You can start to work towards a 30-day plan to really address whatever you still care about.

Secondly, before entering the season where you can feel as tired and pushed and possibly partied out as any other time in the year (referring to entertaining family more than swinging from the chandeliers), give yourself mental room to think. Even if that only means that it gives you a head start on thinking what will make it into 2020’s goals. A plan for the plan if you will. Reflecting before formulating those January 1st ideas might give you the mindfulness you need to get what you really want.

Think holistically, what do you need for every area of your life to feel good in 2020? So many of us reading this site (and writing it) are hard-charging overachievers. Work and career is front and center. Take a moment to think about how you would like your life to look a year from now. How will you have spent your time? What will have changed? What will you have done more of? And less of?

What worked this year and what have you simply outgrown? What will it take to let go of that habit that isn’t serving you? Ask yourself: what do you have to gain by spending your time/energy/sanity/money elsewhere?

If you would like to go into 2020 with a coach on your side, we are offering a coaching deal of five (60 mins) sessions for the price of four (phone/video), if you sign up between now and thanksgiving to start in January. Book with Nicki Gilmour and start making your 2020 a year that changes everything.