By Aimee Hansen
Forbes has called it “the new strategic imperative of business.” Oral storytelling may have started around the fire, but today it’s trending hot on the list of sought-after leadership competencies at the boardroom table and in the C-Suite.
While storytelling may be innate, it doesn’t mean we’re all equally skilled in wielding the power of storytelling. But it turns out that being an engaging and persuasive storyteller is far less about raw talent than you might think and more about getting fluent in the structural ABC’s (or rather, IRS) of storytelling.
theglasshammer.com spoke to Esther K. Choy, Founder and President of Leadership Story Lab and author of the book Let The Story Do The Work: The Art of Storytelling for Business Success.
Why We Don’t Tell Stories
“Storytelling in a business context is a pivot from something we are doing naturally and intuitively,” said Choy, “but it’s adding a different application. I think it would be a pity if we (women) don’t make full use of what comes natural to us.”
Choy observes that we tend to be more reserved about telling stories at work than we need to be.
“A lot of people have a certain misconception that when you tell stories you assume the spotlight and you are talking about yourself… And this is something that many of us have been socialized not to do,” says Choy. “The other thing is that if you haven’t been trained how to tell stories strategically in a business setting, it can take a while,” states Choy. “These days people’s attentions spans are very short.”
The need to be persuasive and concise is why immersing yourself in the anatomy of effective storytelling is so important.
An Expansive and Emotive Leadership Art
In addition to speaking to and from the heart, telling and receiving stories is also a more expansive mindset skill than analytical or rational argument.
“When we listen to a story, it involves 40 to 50 different regions of our brain. When you are perhaps using the analytical side of your brain, it’s far more limiting.” states Choy. “That’s why we have the saying that people forget facts, but they never forget a good story. You can try to forget a good story, but it’s really hard. The reason is that it’s such a whole brain experience. It’s sticky. It’s memorable. It gets us feeling. It’s almost as if we were there, inside the story.”
Indeed, emotional recall changes the memory game. Fact are between six and 22 times more likely to be remembered if conveyed through story than list.
We are not only rational beings, even when making basic decisions. “Every single decision, big and small, must involve an emotional process to make a decision and act on it. That’s just the way we’re wired,” states Choy. “That’s why no amount of sheer analytical presentations and data can actually persuade someone until and unless their emotions are tapped somehow.”
Storytelling is a way of showing versus telling that guides the listener along on an intentional emotional experience. It creates a synchronization between speaker and listener. The result, often, is a trust that is conducive to building consensus.
“When you’re the storyteller and I’m the listener, our brains actually begin to synchronize,“ states Choy. “Because the story that you are telling me, that you are painting, I am also trying to imagine and feel. The storyteller’s brain and the listener’s brain begin to hum and synchronize. That’s why we feel an incredible connection.”
Storytelling Starts With Listening
“In order for any of us to become great storytellers, we must first become story collectors,” states Choy. “So before we set out to tell great stories, to razzle and dazzle and influence and persuade other people, we also need to learn how to get other people to tell their stories.”
While this partly mirrors the principle that if you want to write, you need to read, it also comes from the need to create receptivity and two-way communication. This is especially true when negotiating friction with colleagues.
“In a business setting, when you’re trying to persuade other people, it’s really hard for others to even begin to open their mind and ears unless they feel heard. That has to go first,” states Choy. “We don’t have to agree with them, but we have to acknowledge them and make them feel heard. That is the only way to get them to open their minds and their ears to hear our story.”
In order to effectively persuade, even storytelling has to be a conversation.
The Craft of Connection (IRS): Intrigue, Rivet, Satisfy
It’s not true that some people just aren’t storytellers.
“I think 80% of what makes a good storyteller can be boiled down to process. It’s more a matter of willingness, not ability,” states Choy. “If you’re willing to learn the process, to practice it and get feedback – then no matter your confidence and creativity and natural ability – you will be a great storyteller.”
Choy’s story toolbox and strategic structure is IRS. The beginning must be Intriguing. The middle should be Riveting. The end should be Satisfying.
Act 1 – Intriguing: The shortest part of your story should begin with time and location and end with a hook. The hook can be based upon conflict (any tension of opposing forces), contrast, or contradiction (contradicting the expectations of your audience).
One thing you should not do, says Choy, is to begin with “let me tell you a story,” which can raise skepticism. Focus on intriguing. We often need to dig out the hook of our story and bring it to the front.
Act 2 – Riveting: This is “the meat of the story” – the overcoming of obstacles, challenges, setbacks, more setbacks, and triumphs. When we’ve lost our audience, it’s often because we began with Act 2, rather than setting our story up or effectively wrapping it up.
“That’s why some stories feel flat or feel like they go on and on with no end in sight,” states Choy. “But if you set up the story right, then you’ve earned the right to tell your stories.”
Act 3 – Satisfying: This is the climax and final resolution, which delivers on intentions and takeaways, either open-ended (such as provoking discussion) or close-ended (such as closing a deal). The same story can have either open-ended or close-ended intention, based on how you resolve it.
“Whichever path that may be,” states Choy, “you should think ahead of time at least to what you would like to see happen after you tell that story.”
Personal Proficiency
Ultimately, storytelling, like many skills that are important to leadership, are a matter of both craft and practice. Storytelling is one area in which it can be both professionally and personally rewarding to develop your proficiency.
Author Note: Aimee Hansen leads women’s writing and yoga retreats on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala (Nov 25 – Dec 3 2017, Jan 27 – Feb 4 2018) and other locations and dates in which we explore the power of storytelling when it comes to owning our voices and self-expression in all areas of our lives. Find out more about her events: www.thestorytellerwithin.com
Happy Thanksgiving Week!
NewsHappy Thanksgiving week to our readers in the US and to our readers in the UK and elsewhere happy getting ready to sprint to wrap up the year.
We are taking a publishing break this week but wanted to unveil our new sister company Evolved People Coaching.
Evolved People Coaching is a firm exclusively dedicated to executive coaching and we have coaches who are ready to work with women and men to help you formulate and execute on goals, change things and get the life you want inside and outside of work. We can coach in English , Spanish and French and all coaches are certified by Columbia University’s highly respected program. Our coaches have experience being senior executives themselves and have attended top universities worldwide to ensure we work with you cognitively, emotionally and practically. So whether you are thinking of changing jobs, want to be promoted or want to have better relationships at work, we can help you find your answers
Check out the new website
We coach individuals and groups.
Thank you for reading theglasshammer and see you next week for more profiles and career articles and advice.
Best Wishes
Mover and Shaker: Michelle Pokrzywinski, Vice President of IT, WEX
Movers and Shakers, PeopleBy Cathie Ericson
Mentors and sponsors are the glue that holds a career together, says WEX’s Michelle Pokrzywinski. “Throughout my career, my needs have been different and I find role models and mentors all over – within my team, in the company and outside in the general professional world,” she says. “Whatever qualities or skills you are looking for at any given time can be found if you look around.”
Expanding From Technical Skills to Managerial Activities
At the time Pokrzywinski started her career in technology, she understood very little about what career paths could look like with a computer science major. Her education had been focused on technical topics, rather than how to use that knowledge to drive business, but after starting in software development, she immediately knew her interest extended to the management arena. At that point, she proactively broadened her experience with assignments in project management, IT service management and quality management. For close to 15 years she’s been a part of companies that were precursors to WEX, where she currently serves as vice president of IT.
“I now know a career has to be managed, and you have to know how your efforts create value in the business,” she says. “There are many fulfilling paths to success so you have to continuously define what that means to you.” And her role, where she can try new technology and tools and help the company be more efficient with its resources, is a perfect fit.
Teamwork Makes the Difference
Along the way she has benefitted from sponsors who advocated for her, some behind the scenes so she wasn’t even aware. One who had a meaningful impact was a manager who recommended her for the masters of science program in the Management of Technology (MOT) early in her career. The company only sponsored one applicant every two years, and when she expressed interest, he went to bat for her and assisted throughout the application process. “I was so grateful he invested in me as I benefitted so much,” she says, adding that while that was a visible example, she knows there are many others who have helped create the opportunities she has had.
While Pokrzywinski is proud of her many technical achievements, one of her most noteworthy moments was when she was able to take a disparate group of individuals and quickly create a team atmosphere that allowed them to function cohesively and consistently for a large software development project she was operating.
“When you have the right team, it has a ripple effect as they all come together,” she says, noting that managers should focus their efforts on determining what each member needs, so that all those smaller components will coalesce. “You’ll gain collaboration, efficiency and unlimited success when you do the right thing by your team members by putting them in roles where they can succeed.”
And that is a key ingredient in what she considers her recipe for success: Surrounding yourself with good people, who feel they can be honest because you are attuned to listening to them and helping them deliver results.
Pokrzywinski believes in the importance of mentoring, and early in her career was part of the Menttium 100 program, which is focused on helping women gain the strategies needed for success. About five years ago she also participated in an IT mentoring program through Think IT, a service of York Solutions.
An active community volunteer, Pokrzywinski enjoys her time working in a local non-profit resale shop that serves both the general public with high-quality, low-cost merchandise, and local families in need with free clothing, household goods and furniture. She especially loves her role working directly with families and matching their specific needs with the appropriate donated items.
“Everyone should give back when they can,” she says. “It broadens your perspective and is an enriching way to get out of your day-to-day routine by helping others.”
Why Women Are Crucial in Design and Tech
Career Advice, Guest Contribution, Women in TechnologyI was chatting with a woman at a tech conference a while back about sexism in the industry. She rolled her eyes: “Oh, have I got a story for you.” A couple years ago, she was working at a large company’s Silicon Valley innovation center. She was excited. Her company was partnering with a fashion brand to produce a new “fashion-forward” women’s smartwatch, and she would be leading the design research. But when she walked into the kickoff meeting, her stomach sank: she was the only woman at the table.
While the men droned on about their wives, using them as proxies for the “female market,” she hatched a research plan to find out what women actually wanted from a smartwatch. More than a thousand respondents later, she brought her results back to the group. The top insight: women really wanted their smartwatch to help them discreetly keep an eye on things during meetings. But the men wouldn’t listen: women want apps for shopping, not work.
“I felt like I was in an episode of Mad Men,” she told me.
Eventually, the project stalled, and the brand brought in a celebrity to design the smartwatch. It flopped. “It wasn’t based on needs; it was based on stereotypes,” she said.
Her story is over the top, but it’s not rare. While writing my new book,Technically Wrong: Sexist Apps, Biased Algorithms, and Other Threats of Toxic Tech, I saw plenty of products that left women out (like Apple’s Heath app, which didn’t bother to include a period tracker for a full year after it launched). The companies behind those products? Mostly male.
Meanwhile, I also found loads of research confirming what I’d long felt: that diverse teams perform better because they spur new thinking rather than encourage people to rely on the same stale perspectives. As a result, they’re more likely to develop innovative product ideas, and less likely to rally around incorrect assumptions.
That’s why we need more women—and people of color, and LGTBQ people, and people with different abilities, and so much more—working on design and tech at every step of the process, from deciding what to make in the first place to testing products before they go to market.
But as the smartwatch researcher found out, it’s not easy being a woman in tech: we’re routinely passed over for funding, pushed out by harassment, and even subjected to demoralizing pseudoscience claiming we’re just not as good as men.
So how do you create a thriving career, do your part to change the system, and avoid burning out in the process? Here’s what I’ve learned during my career, and in my research talking with dozens of women across the industry.
Make “microchanges” that matter
Diógenes Brito didn’t mean for it to be a big deal when he used a brown hand for a new graphic at Slack, the group-chat platform. But it was—because people of color so rarely see their skin tones reflected in the world (just think about all the so-called “flesh-colored” Band-Aids on the market). “It may seem like a small thing,” tweeted Kaya Thomas, a college student studying computer science. “But when you see graphics over and over excluding your skin color, it matters.”
Seemingly minute design or tech choices—like including women in photos depicting technical teams or removing unnecessary binary gender questions from forms—can make a big difference to users, and can even make a company’s culture more aware and inclusive over time. And since they’re small—as small as depicting a brown hand in an illustration—they’re the kind of thing you can often slip in without getting pushback.
Oh, and Kaya Thomas? She graduated in May. Now she’s an engineer at—you guessed it—Slack, where I’m sure she’ll shake things up even further.
See what others have missed
You know how dating apps used to be cesspools of unsolicited porn? Yeah, okay, so that’s still largely true. But now there are tons of women-run apps offering an alternative. There’s Bumble, of course, founded by ex-Tinder exec Whitney Wolfe. Disillusioned by harassment (including from one of her fellow Tinder founders), Wolfe set out to solve some of heterosexual online dating’s endemic flaws by doing something no one had thought of before: only allowing women to make the first move.
Or, there’s Coffee Meets Bagel, designed as an alternative to “swiping your life away.” Frustrated by the constant ghosting of other apps, the founders—sisters Arum, Dawoon, and Soo Kang—designed their product to give users fewer, better matches each day, and to discourage flakiness by only showing women a short list of men who’d already liked them.
While none of the new women-run dating apps is perfect (for example, many still don’t serve the LGBTQ community very well), they’re all exploring new ground—ground traditional male-run apps never would have considered.
Serve the underserved
Tech has also enabled a bevvy of new fashion startups, and some of the most exciting examples are in a space that used to be a dead zone: plus sizes. Today, loads of women are helming companies that—finally—are focused on combining on-trend and luxury pieces with more inclusive sizing options.
One particularly innovative option? Universal Standard’s “Universal Fit Liberty” policy where customers can exchange a product within a year if their size goes up or down.
While getting funding for a fledgling business still isn’t easy, the world is starting to wake up to the fact that designing for women isn’t a niche case. It’s an underserved audience—one that controls most of the purchasing decisions in the United States, and that’s increasingly fickle about where it spends its money. The more we push for inclusion—and stand up to all the sexists, bad bosses, and other toxic influences out there—the more opportunities we’ll have to make sure that the tech products of the future serve all of us.
5 Things that Make Becoming a Financial Advisor a Smart Choice for Women
Career AdviceBy Nicki Gilmour, CEO theglasshammer.com
Financial Advisory and the retail side of the financial services industry is not something that we have covered from a career perspective here at theglasshammer.com.
So, we thought it was time to have a look at this career and discuss its viability as it pertains to ambitious women looking to make a transition out of the institutional side of the business. Also, to dispel any misnomers around who works in this business and what is needed to succeed, we asked leading women to tell us more. As it turns out, women are between 15%-30% of the front line depending on the firm. The biggest headline is that you can have utmost flexibility which repeatedly is a theme we come across for modern people, both women and men who have outgrown the rigidity of being tied to a desk. We spoke to two women in two firms, Monica Guiseffi, Principal of Financial Advisor Inclusion and Diversity, Edward Jones and Marcia C. Tillotson, Managing Director of Investments and Portfolio Manager at Wells Fargo. They talked candidly about the job, concurring that it is the best kept secret. We gleaned these five insights to share with you.
#1 Make a Living Helping People
Think Financial Advisor, think Mother Teresa? Not the first job that comes to mind for the helping professional but in actuality being an FA is a great way to help people reach goals and access information around decisions that will affect them in later life.
Monica Guiseffi, Principal at Edward Jones states, “This can be a very honorable job as it is really about serving clients a high level and it feels great to help people.”
What is the secret of success in this industry? It is about who you surround yourself with and whose behaviors you model. Monica suggests finding a great mentor and she comments,
Marcia C. Tillotson at Wells Fargo also believes that it is about finding the right people to look to for inspiration. She states,
“Find an FA that you admire… One whose business is run like you want to run yours and ask to be a part of their team.”
When asked what it takes to succeed, Marcia suggests that it is also what is inside you that matters and she believes having the right values is key. She defines it as
“A passion to help people, a wicked work ethic, a working moral compass, and patience,” and her personal response to becoming a Financial Advisor is “The opportunity to help families achieve their financial goals, have a flexible work schedule, be fulfilled in your career, and be fairly compensated. Through the years, I have known a lot of clients unhappy with their career choice. But there is not one job in the world I would trade being an FA for- not one!
#2 Pay Equity Is High in This Field
Marcia Tillotson from Wells Fargo talks more about why she thinks Financial Advisory is such a good fit for women to consider as a career. She comments on the pay equity that has been in place in the industry which isn’t always as transparent in other areas of the financial industry. She states,
“I knew when I became an advisor 30 years ago, I would be paid the same to buy 100 shares of a certain stock for my client as the male FAs at the desks on either side of me. There weren’t many careers with that kind of pay equity in 1987–and frankly, still isn’t.”
#3 The Flexibility
Marcia from Wells Fargo states,
Monica agrees that the great thing about this career is that you can “write your own ticket at your own pace.”
#4 Close the Investment Gap
Financial Advisors can help close the investment gap which is not only present due to the pay gap but also to education, culture and patterns of how women invest and continue to invest. Wells Fargo recently did a very interesting study on investing from a millennial perspective with headline results that includes 82% millennial men surveyed stating they are the sole deciders of the household finances. So, how can Financial Advisors, specifically female advisors help close the investment gap?
Monica from Edward Jones states,
“FAs of any gender can help close the investment gap by emphasizing the importance of diversification (equity, fixed income, and cash). Women, nationwide, tend to hold more cash. The best thing we can do for our clientele is to lengthen their time horizon, the expectations on their portfolio from near-term to longer-term. Inspire confidence to move a portion of their cash into higher yielding investments that have out-performed inflation. Allowing our Women clients to remain too heavily in cash is essentially allowing them to lose purchasing power against rising inflation. Their standard of living will digress. It is the responsibility of all Financial Advisors to address this issue of correct portfolio diversification.”
#5 Changing the Face of the Industry via Engaging Men to Mentor New FA’s
Monica comments “Organizations need to be magnetic in order to attract and retain great talent, especially women. We have a new women’s network called WINGS that provides mentorship to our female advisors as we believe engaging male advisors as well as senior women is key in supporting the women FA’s who work at Edward Jones”
Wells Fargo’s Tillotson agrees mentoring men and women is a way to engage everybody in the conversation and develop the pathways for future diversity. She states,
“Be a mentor. Wells Fargo Advisors has begun this approach pairing associate Financial Advisors with senior FAs and we are very excited about the possibilities and we like to talk about our business!” She urges you to do the same and continues,
“Share your career experience with young people, on college campuses, with your own children. This is a very cool career and no one knows it. I hope in my lifetime there are little girls that want to be a Financial Advisor when they grow up.”
Voice of Experience: Sheridan Ash, Technology and Investments Director, PwC UK; Women in Technology Leader for PwC UK
People, Voices of Experience, Women in TechnologyBy Cathie Ericson
It can be intimidating to be faced with a male-dominated culture, notes PwC’s Sheridan Ash. While she has learned to be resilient, she stresses she didn’t always feel that way, struggling with worry that was disproportionate. While she has since become proactive about managing her career, she believes she could have reached her potential sooner if she’d done that earlier. “I help myself by helping others,” she says, adding that her drive comes from helping other people avoid some of the road blocks she encountered.
From Model to Tech Leader
Ash is proud of the winding road her career has taken, from school dropout to a catwalk model to her current post as technology and investments director.
Schoolwork was a challenge, as she suffered from undiagnosed dyslexia, so she left at age 15 and launched a modeling career in London, with a specialty of catwalk modeling that allowed her to travel from Milan to Paris. After having a son at a young age, she realised she needed a more stable career path and went back to school while her son was a baby to earn her degree, landing a position in the pharmaceutical business.
Although she knew she wanted to pursue additional studying, she approached it with trepidation, since schoolwork wasn’t easy given her dyslexia: Nevertheless Ash found a way to compensate and overcame the challenge to earn her MBA at Imperial College. That’s where she began looking at technology from a health perspective, working with the National Health Service and private health care providers. Winning an award for having the best dissertation gave her an excellent boost of confidence, further augmented by her work as a research assistant for some professors writing a book on technology and innovation.
“I was hooked,” she says, joining consulting firm Accenture in the health tech team and then moving to PwC first with the health team, but then ascending as she saw an opportunity to grow the business, ultimately working for the head of technology and investments across the entire firm.
Nurturing the Next Generation
Ash is particularly proud of the Women in Tech group she helped launch when she realized there was clearly a diversity issue in the technology team. Celebrating its fourth anniversary in November, it has been successful in attracting and retaining women as they address what she calls a societal problem with not enough young women choosing to pursue tech careers.
Her work with the group has also raised her own profile within the firm, in part leading to her current role where she is helping implement what she calls “massive change” within PwC. “We want to be the leading tech-enabled professional services firm, and while we already do a lot of great work in technology, I am proud to be leading the strategy work on developing our capabilities in technology innovation and how emerging technologies are converging to create new businesses utilising such advances as blockchain and drones.”
She sees the two goals intersecting, as they develop new businesses and ways of working while at the same time focusing on how to attract women into those types of jobs. One opportunity she sees is in demonstrating to women how tech has a positive impact on the world. “Women need to feel that what they do has a large impact,” she notes.
While there is considerable bias given the primarily male-dominated workplace, she says that 90 percent of the time it’s not intentional but inevitable that behaviors and cultures develop around specific types of people and what they like.
“Tackling that unconscious bias is one of the key challenges we need to overcome,” she says, and more role models is an important place to start.
On that note, she encourages women to be observant when they apply for a job about whether the company has a well-publicized and open program around diversity and gender. “Think about whether they put a female in front of you for an interview or had diversity represented at recruiting events,” she says, as that will tell you what their culture is truly like.
And women at her stage need to be actively involved in helping to develop the next generation, as more than mentors but as champions and proactive ambassadors for at least one person to help them develop and get promoted.
To that end, she has formed a group with some external partners and together they have developed a manifesto to work together as a group of companies to tackle the issue of women in technology.
Her passion for helping women has extended to small investments she has recently made to help women in developing countries become capable of running their own businesses, as part of a focus to help women in other countries become independent.
Even with her busy career and passion for supporting women, Ash takes time to travel. “Because I had my son young and didn’t get together with my partner until later in life, we have been making up for lost time over the past seven years,” she says.
Storytelling: The Art of Connection
Career Advice, Office PoliticsImage via Pixabay
By Aimee Hansen
Forbes has called it “the new strategic imperative of business.” Oral storytelling may have started around the fire, but today it’s trending hot on the list of sought-after leadership competencies at the boardroom table and in the C-Suite.
While storytelling may be innate, it doesn’t mean we’re all equally skilled in wielding the power of storytelling. But it turns out that being an engaging and persuasive storyteller is far less about raw talent than you might think and more about getting fluent in the structural ABC’s (or rather, IRS) of storytelling.
theglasshammer.com spoke to Esther K. Choy, Founder and President of Leadership Story Lab and author of the book Let The Story Do The Work: The Art of Storytelling for Business Success.
Why We Don’t Tell Stories
“Storytelling in a business context is a pivot from something we are doing naturally and intuitively,” said Choy, “but it’s adding a different application. I think it would be a pity if we (women) don’t make full use of what comes natural to us.”
Choy observes that we tend to be more reserved about telling stories at work than we need to be.
“A lot of people have a certain misconception that when you tell stories you assume the spotlight and you are talking about yourself… And this is something that many of us have been socialized not to do,” says Choy. “The other thing is that if you haven’t been trained how to tell stories strategically in a business setting, it can take a while,” states Choy. “These days people’s attentions spans are very short.”
The need to be persuasive and concise is why immersing yourself in the anatomy of effective storytelling is so important.
An Expansive and Emotive Leadership Art
In addition to speaking to and from the heart, telling and receiving stories is also a more expansive mindset skill than analytical or rational argument.
“When we listen to a story, it involves 40 to 50 different regions of our brain. When you are perhaps using the analytical side of your brain, it’s far more limiting.” states Choy. “That’s why we have the saying that people forget facts, but they never forget a good story. You can try to forget a good story, but it’s really hard. The reason is that it’s such a whole brain experience. It’s sticky. It’s memorable. It gets us feeling. It’s almost as if we were there, inside the story.”
Indeed, emotional recall changes the memory game. Fact are between six and 22 times more likely to be remembered if conveyed through story than list.
We are not only rational beings, even when making basic decisions. “Every single decision, big and small, must involve an emotional process to make a decision and act on it. That’s just the way we’re wired,” states Choy. “That’s why no amount of sheer analytical presentations and data can actually persuade someone until and unless their emotions are tapped somehow.”
Storytelling is a way of showing versus telling that guides the listener along on an intentional emotional experience. It creates a synchronization between speaker and listener. The result, often, is a trust that is conducive to building consensus.
“When you’re the storyteller and I’m the listener, our brains actually begin to synchronize,“ states Choy. “Because the story that you are telling me, that you are painting, I am also trying to imagine and feel. The storyteller’s brain and the listener’s brain begin to hum and synchronize. That’s why we feel an incredible connection.”
Storytelling Starts With Listening
“In order for any of us to become great storytellers, we must first become story collectors,” states Choy. “So before we set out to tell great stories, to razzle and dazzle and influence and persuade other people, we also need to learn how to get other people to tell their stories.”
While this partly mirrors the principle that if you want to write, you need to read, it also comes from the need to create receptivity and two-way communication. This is especially true when negotiating friction with colleagues.
“In a business setting, when you’re trying to persuade other people, it’s really hard for others to even begin to open their mind and ears unless they feel heard. That has to go first,” states Choy. “We don’t have to agree with them, but we have to acknowledge them and make them feel heard. That is the only way to get them to open their minds and their ears to hear our story.”
In order to effectively persuade, even storytelling has to be a conversation.
The Craft of Connection (IRS): Intrigue, Rivet, Satisfy
It’s not true that some people just aren’t storytellers.
“I think 80% of what makes a good storyteller can be boiled down to process. It’s more a matter of willingness, not ability,” states Choy. “If you’re willing to learn the process, to practice it and get feedback – then no matter your confidence and creativity and natural ability – you will be a great storyteller.”
Choy’s story toolbox and strategic structure is IRS. The beginning must be Intriguing. The middle should be Riveting. The end should be Satisfying.
Act 1 – Intriguing: The shortest part of your story should begin with time and location and end with a hook. The hook can be based upon conflict (any tension of opposing forces), contrast, or contradiction (contradicting the expectations of your audience).
One thing you should not do, says Choy, is to begin with “let me tell you a story,” which can raise skepticism. Focus on intriguing. We often need to dig out the hook of our story and bring it to the front.
Act 2 – Riveting: This is “the meat of the story” – the overcoming of obstacles, challenges, setbacks, more setbacks, and triumphs. When we’ve lost our audience, it’s often because we began with Act 2, rather than setting our story up or effectively wrapping it up.
“That’s why some stories feel flat or feel like they go on and on with no end in sight,” states Choy. “But if you set up the story right, then you’ve earned the right to tell your stories.”
Act 3 – Satisfying: This is the climax and final resolution, which delivers on intentions and takeaways, either open-ended (such as provoking discussion) or close-ended (such as closing a deal). The same story can have either open-ended or close-ended intention, based on how you resolve it.
“Whichever path that may be,” states Choy, “you should think ahead of time at least to what you would like to see happen after you tell that story.”
Personal Proficiency
Ultimately, storytelling, like many skills that are important to leadership, are a matter of both craft and practice. Storytelling is one area in which it can be both professionally and personally rewarding to develop your proficiency.
Author Note: Aimee Hansen leads women’s writing and yoga retreats on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala (Nov 25 – Dec 3 2017, Jan 27 – Feb 4 2018) and other locations and dates in which we explore the power of storytelling when it comes to owning our voices and self-expression in all areas of our lives. Find out more about her events: www.thestorytellerwithin.com
Perfection Might Be Our Biggest Enemy
Career Advice, Guest Contribution, Women in TechnologyBy Molly Connell
The call for a gender equal workplace is getting louder, but women are still significantly under-represented in certain fields. When it comes to STEM (Science, Tech, Engineering and Math), there is still a stereotype present that working within these fields is rather for men. As an example, currently, only 13% of practicing engineers are women in the United States (Bureau of Labor Statistics)
It is clear, that this under-representation is not because women are less capable. Countless female engineers have achieved something admirable in the past and became role models. Business Insider published an article with the “26 most powerful female engineers in 2016” listing women who are powerful and brave, like Diane Greene who is leading a new team at Google that combines all of the company’s cloud businesses or Peggy Johnson, the Executive Vice President of Business Development at Microsoft.
Bravery is a key component
“Perfection is the Enemy of Progress!” said Churchill, but the same concept has also been presented by Voltaire as well. The scientific explanation that supports this statement is called “nirvana fallacy” which is defined as “comparing a realistic solution with an idealized one, and dismissing or even discounting the realistic solution as a result of comparing to a “perfect world” or impossible standard.” (Logicallyfallacious.com)
Taking risks means having a chance to fail. But what is failure? Charly Haversat in her “Perfectionism holds us back. Here’s why” TED talk explains how perfectionism can blind us from seeing what we have accomplished. If we constantly compare our present situation to a perfect situation, dissatisfaction is bound to come. Should our children never participate in a soccer team if the chances of them becoming a professional football player is less than 1%? Can we not be proud of ourselves for being the 2nd best at something? While these questions are polarizing, perfectionists, when it comes to themselves, would answer “no!”, while this is a mistake can stand in the way of their happiness and also their success.
Girls are raised to be perfect
While the paradox caused by perfectionism can occur for anyone, in which while striving to do everything right and to be the best, one prevents itself from doing so at the same time, there is still a difference on what effects this phenomenon has on males and females.
A wave was created when Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls who Code introduced her theory in one of her speeches how girls in general are being raised in a way that is counteracting with the original intention: we forget to raise them to be brave.
A survey conducted by LinkedIn asked men and women about their childhood dream jobs and whether or not they are currently working in that position. It turns out that there is a clear split between men and women: men were far more likely to have of “one-in-a-million” type dream-jobs such as prime minister or astronaut than women. Ms. Saujani, as explained in her previously mentioned speech, thinks that women tend to choose careers they know they will be great in, because they are taught to avoid risk and failure, to be good in school and to be safe while boys are praised for their bravery.
This has an effect on us in many aspects: A Hewlett Packpard internal report that has been quoted in several articles such as in Harvard Business Review, Forbes and the Economist was shown that men apply for jobs when they meet only 60% of the requirements and women have to meet 100% to feel confident enough to apply. This results in missing out on countless opportunities only because the chance of rejection is higher.
Equality
The term “gender gap” can be interpreted in many ways. Probably the most common concepts are the wage gap and the ratio of women and men in certain jobs. It is argued that one way to resolve these issues is to help women to overcome the gender-confidence gap first. External support can help but it is advised that women should focus on eliminating their own self-consciousness to really be confident. The systemic issues in the gender gap of course are another topic and confidence is only one part of the bigger puzzle.
To illustrate the issue, here’s an infographic from TradeMachines summarizing the main reasons why the gender-gap in engineering is still present.
Maintaining Balance as a Female Caregiver with a Career
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!, Guest ContributionBy Kimberley Brown
Image via Shutterstock
Like many women who enjoy being engaged in their careers and in the workplace, they also enjoy spending time with friends and taking time to care for their families and children.
But what happens when a “working mom” who’s finally reached the pinnacle of her career now has to take the time to care for a sick child requiring ongoing care? Sara McGlocklin spent a number of years to achieve her goal to be a lawyer and McGlocklin landed her dream job as a lawyer for Children’s Law Center of California where she helps abused and neglected children in the foster care system. Then, bad news arrived. She comments,
“As a young girl I did not expect the challenges of balancing a career with being a caregiver, and I especially did not anticipate being a caregiver for a child with a fatal disease,” said McGlocklin, attorney and mother of 2 children.
It’s no surprise that women are often the predominant caregivers when it comes to providing support to loved ones, especially when that loved one is a sick child. Interestingly, women are 10 times more likely to take time off from work to stay home with their sick children – and – mothers are five times more likely to take their sick kids to doctor’s appointments, according to a recent Kaiser Family Foundation study.
Like for example with Sara, she takes her daughter Marian to physical therapy twice a week, occupational therapy once a week, and speech therapy twice a week. In addition, she has to take her daughter to the hospital every other week so her daughter can take an experimental treatment.
However, in the midst of juggling numerous responsibilities for her family and her daughter, what’s interesting is Sara has actually picked up some unexpected tips along the way to encourage other women who may be trying to manage a career while being a caregiver, including…
It’s OK To Time Off: Sometimes women have a sense of guilt when asking their bosses for time off, even if it’s to care for a loved one. But it’s important to know your limits – which are human, and sometimes you are needed more at home than at work or vice versa. It’s important to carve out the flexibility you need for taking care of a sick child.
Don’t Go it Alone. Ask for help when it’s needed. Striking the balance between independence and accepting support is difficult. However, no one wins points for running themselves into the ground, and while there are many things we can accomplish on our own – accepting the help of a babysitter, friend or neighbor for small tasks adds up to big rewards. Ultimately, one of the most valuable things we have as mothers and professionals is our time. Sometimes saying, yes, when people offer help – and even voicing the need yourself brings a sense of teamwork, comfort and support. Most importantly, it is a gift of what we are all short of: time and energy to spend with our families and also meeting our needs and aspirations personally and professionally.
Take Some Pressure Off. Yes, I know everyone may be depending on you, especially if it’s a child but remember to find some down time in the midst of it all – even if it means something else isn’t getting done perfectly. Reading a good book (or watching a favorite show) or laughing with a friend can help relieve stress and recharge you so that you can be more energized to provide the care that you need to give.
Connect. Make meaningful connections with other people or communities. Women are more likely to lose friendships in their thirties and forties than to gain and create meaningful ones. Similarly, and conversely, deep and meaningful connections to other people are a critical component to happiness.
While many women continue to face some level of stress and pressure when managing their careers and serving as caregivers, it’s important for them to remember the importance of self-care as well. These simple tips should help women to gain better control and balance of their lives so they can continue to be a source of strength for loved ones and even for the co-workers who are depending on them as well.
Voice of Experience: Elizabeth Byrnes, Managing Director, Goldman Sachs Engineering
Voices of ExperienceElizabeth Byrnes knows that you have to find your voice to be successful in your career. “You can have a great idea but unless you share it by confidently speaking up in the workplace, you won’t be able to effectively influence people and shape outcomes. Engineering is an interactive process — every day teams come up with new ideas and brainstorm together to refine them. When you exhibit passion and enthusiasm for your work, others are excited to work alongside you.”
She says that it took her awhile to find a leadership style that worked well and was consistent with her personality and values. “When I was young, I thought I needed to mimic how others led, but over time I figured out that while I could incorporate qualities I admired in others, I needed to stay true to who I am and incorporate them into my own personal leadership style, which I continue to refine and improve to this day.”
Building a strong, diverse network of colleagues and friends has also been an essential ingredient in Byrnes’ success. “I am more effective when I have people to bounce ideas off and people who have perspectives and skills different than my own. Relationships across our firm and throughout the industry and community at large are super valuable. These are people I can call on to provide advice and help think through and solve hard problems.”
Artificial Intelligence Paves the Way to Wall Street
Byrnes knows first-hand that you’re not always going to be aware of all existing job possibilities initially upon entering the workforce. For example, when she was pursuing her PhD in psychology, she developed an expertise in artificial intelligence and expert systems after analyzing ways to have computers interpret and summarize psychological tests. At the time, most of her colleagues saw computers as number-crunching machines not well suited to the human sciences. But, Byrnes saw an opportunity for computers to help with patient care and speed diagnosis. Not everyone in the psychology industry agreed, she says, and resistance to change was high. “I learned that it’s not enough just to have a great idea, you have to understand how to drive adoption and influence change—a very important lesson!”
After completing her PhD, she joined her professor’s software start-up in the healthcare field before eventually joining Wall Street.
“Wall Street and the financial services industry are very open-minded to technological innovation, which is refreshing and exciting,” she says. “I realized this was an industry I could grow and thrive in, and I have. There is never a shortage of complicated problems to solve and super smart and motivated people to help solve them, which means I am never bored and love my work.”
Upon joining the financial services industry, she initially worked at Manufacturers Hanover and Bankers Trust before joining Merrill Lynch, where she spent 11 years in various technology and leadership roles. She moved to Goldman Sachs in 2007 and today leads the Global Investment Research Technology group.
“When I think about what’s important now in the industry, most roads lead to data. You can’t make decisions without good data, and there has been an increase in appreciation for data modelling, analytics, entitlements and governance,” Byrnes said. “A common thread is ensuring individuals have timely access to the information they need to make informed decisions, while at the same time protecting and safeguarding this data.”
Building a Pipeline by Reaching Girls Before They Opt Out
As co-head of the Americas Women in Technology Network (WIT), Byrnes is committed to growing diverse talent and reaching and inspiring the next generation of women computer engineers. She knows firsthand the importance of building a pipeline – women only comprise 17 percent of computer science graduates in the United States. “We have to build a foundation, and the numbers aren’t where we need them to be. We have to reach back into the junior high schools and high schools to encourage girls to learn to code and to pursue studies in computer science at university,” she says. Meeting this need spurred her to champion Goldman Sachs’ partnership with Girls who Code (GWC).
Goldman Sachs was the first financial services firm to partner with GWC in 2013. Since that initial partnership, Goldman Sachs hosts 40 high school girls each summer at the firm’s New York headquarters. Over 100 WIT volunteers serve as mentors, curriculum advisors, event coordinators and speakers over the summer. “It is a true team effort,” says Byrnes. But this engagement doesn’t stop once the summer program ends. “We can’t just teach them when they’re 16 and then step back, because there are too many opportunities for them to get discouraged along the way,” Byrnes points out.
With her WIT colleagues, she helped create an alumni program to host quarterly meet-ups so the girls have an opportunity to stay connected via a supportive community of friends and role models and continuously learn about technical topics and careers. Over the summer, 80 girls attended an alumni event that focused on cybersecurity.
“Having these students see other women in technical roles is a very powerful way to give young women confidence and introduce them to the community, which is good for the industry overall. We need to reach these girls before they opt out.” Once girls enter the engineering workforce, she encourages them to stay technical. Often, women join the workforce with communications and people skills, and then are routed into project management or business analyst roles too early, which can short circuit their technical learning.
She encourages her colleagues to mentor young women, which she believes is critically important to success and retention. “We have to link arms as a community and help the next generation,” she says. “I felt like I had to make a go of it on my own and it doesn’t have to be that way. We can change the industry by encouraging more young women to enter computer science and then offering the coaching and support system to retain them.”
Byrnes is also active with organizations such as Columbia Girls in STEM and Lesbians Who Tech. She recently attended the annual Grace Hopper conference, which convenes female engineers and students to discuss updates in the industry.
Outside of work, Byrnes enjoys horseback riding with her daughters, playing with her golden retrievers and cooking and entertaining with her husband. “Being with family and friends is the best,” she says.
Tech Sector’s Lack of Diversity is About More Than the Lack of Numbers
Career Advice, Men Who "Get It", Women in TechnologyIt is no secret that the tech sector, for all its innovation and well-intentioned plans to work the problem, suffers from a serious diversity problem. One that will not be solved if they only focus on numbers –as in representation of marginalized groups.
The numbers only reflect underlying cultural problems within the tech sector. In hiring for example, an HR director or manager who only hires people who resemble the director or manager – looks, talks, acts, similar background, etc. – is missing the whole point of diversity. The situation is cultural, engrained, and usually unconscious. Systemic bias is prevalent in our society and its roots run deep into the corporate world. Only with our sleeves rolled up, working to change mindsets from CEO on down, do we begin to see a tangible cultural shift in the workplace.
So while the “numbers” are alarming, fixing the numbers alone is not enough. In their 2016 report, Diversity in High Tech, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), the federal agency responsible for enforcing anti-discriminatory laws, concluded “Despite rapid transformation in the field, the overwhelming dominance of white men in the industries and occupations associated with technology has remained.”
The EEOC found that tech companies employed 7% African Americans vs. 14% for other industries, 8% vs. 13.9% for Hispanics, and 36% vs. 48% for women. The disparity was more pronounced for executive positions: 83% white, 2% African American, 3% Hispanic, 10.5% Asian American, and 20% occupied by women.
In Silicon Valley, the microcosm of the tech industry, within the top 75 tech firms, African Americans, Hispanics and women made up 3%, 6% and 30%, respectively. By contrast, it was 24%, 22% an 49% for non-tech firms in the same area.
If it were only a “pipeline problem,” one could concentrate on that and it’d be solved, but evidence points to something intrinsically awry within the sector. In one survey, 716 women who had resigned long-term positions in tech companies were asked what motivated them to make such a difficult decision. 192 women (27%) cited discrimination in the workplace related to an array of issues such as gender, age, race, sexual preference, an unsupportive environment, motherhood and childcare.
The ramifications of all this are felt not just morally, but in the company ledger. Replacing an employee costs $5,000 to $10,000, while for executives it’s $50,000 to $100,000. And that is all in addition to the devastating effects of lawsuits and damaged reputations.
White Men As Full Diversity Partners (WMFDP) was founded 20 years ago in order to confront and engage top level white male leadership across the spectrum of corporate America. Fortunately, most leaders are thrilled at the prospect of dismantling cultural bias. When we went to work for Dell, for example, we were met with a stellar level of cooperation.
As Chairman Michael Dell has stated, “A diversity of perspectives, backgrounds and experiences is the catalyst for innovation. That is how we deliver better results for our customers and our team members. For us, a diverse and inclusive culture is a competitive advantage.”
Marie Moynihan, Senior Vice President, Global Talent Acquisition, Dell EMC expanded further by saying, “I’m a very strong believer in the value of diversity. It forces a more challenging conversation and ultimately better decisions. I do think things are changing for the better for women in leadership. Companies are just paying a lot more attention to the evidence that’s out there now which says that a more diverse team can result in better return on equity.”
To address the obvious pipeline issue, one of the most ambitious projects I’ve encountered is called #YesWeCode. Founded by prominent activist Van Jones, #YesWeCode has the goal of teaching computer coding to 100,000 youth from inner cities and underrepresented minorities. Partnering with tech monoliths Google and Facebook, “Yes We Code aspires to become the United Negro College Fund equivalent for coding education,” Jones said. “Yes We Code exists to find and fund the next Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg in communities you would never expect to find them.”
By 2020, it is estimated that the tech industry will need another 1.4 million jobs filled, but only 400,000 US workers will be qualified to fill them. #YesWeCode and other forward-thinking organizations are taking advantage of this massive opportunity to diversify the tech industry, and in so doing create a paradigm shift in America.
Whether you intend to disrupt an industry, make a ton of money or save the planet, the disparity in high tech and other sectors serves as a lesson for the entrepreneur. I am confident that startups and companies that embrace diversity and inclusion, that challenge themselves and others, will emerge as the definitive leaders. That is because a diverse world calls for a diverse workforce of brilliant minds.
Recognizing our differences and similarities leads to new ways of breaking down problems, enlightening conversations and innovative solutions.
In an often turbulent world, that’s exactly what we need.
About Bill Proudman:
Bill Proudman is WMFDP co-founder and CEO. He pioneered white-men-only workshops in the ’90s after noticing white male leaders repeatedly disengaging from diversity efforts. Bill’s provocative work led to founding White Men As Full Diversity Partners. For over 35 years, he has served as a leadership development consultant, coach and facilitator to countless organizations on issues of team effectiveness, cultural competency, and diversity.
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