By Cathie Ericson
Being out is something that Terry Albarella feels is essential to her success in the workplace.
That’s because being authentic allows you to build a level of trust with your team and peers; if you don’t share, people might wonder if you are hiding something or assume that you don’t care enough to share. The more you can share, the better relationships you create, and the better work everyone can do together, she says.
“Sharing our personal lives helps us be a more cohesive team. When pressure and deadlines come, you can get through those rough times better when you have established a high level of trust,” she says.
On that note, Albarella says she’s been able to meet a broad range of people who feel open to share their stories because they know hers, which has allowed her to get to know people with whom her path might not otherwise have crossed. She has also found that working with executives who might not know someone in the LGBTQ+ community has given them a comfortable opportunity to learn and imparted a broader knowledge they can take to their team and their customers.
Alexa, Please Check My Balance
Albarella began on a technical path right out of college as a developer providing PC support. She joined Prudential in 1995 where they were consolidating from a distributed support model, and over time as they centralized, she gravitated toward the server and application support side, focusing on developing efficiency in the system and responding to problems before they could impact customers. Over the last few years she has moved into the architectural space, helping with upgrades right from the start when they bring tech in the door.
While she has been involved in many large, impactful problems over her tenure, most recently she led a team that rolled out the Alexa voice assistant to Prudential’s customers. While Alexa is known for its skills on the consumer side, there are now more opportunities for business applications, and Prudential was proud to be the first to market with a retirement skill on the platform. “It was an interesting project that allowed us to collaborate on something that was brand new, and we had to put a structure in place to support it with all the rigor that our systems demand.”
The product was made public in the beginning of April, and now anyone who has a Prudential retirement account can use Alexa to look at their account balances. “It gave us a great opportunity to take some new talent we had hired and give them the opportunity to come straight out of school and play a critical role in a project that would interest them right away,” she notes. The test was so successful that they are looking into other voice assistants and emerging technologies to see how they can be creative on all platforms and offer innovative ways for customers to access information in the way they prefer.
Pride in Her Role in PRIDE
Equally important to Albarella as her tech role is her leadership position in the PRIDE Business Resource Group, of which she has been a member since 2010 and president for the past four years. “It has offered a great opportunity to serve customers in the LGBT community better while also allowing me to get more involved in the business components of supporting employees.”
And, she adds, this “side job” in PRIDE has helped her develop relationships she can use in her day job, as she now has a strong network across the organization with people she otherwise wouldn’t have been in contact with on a day-to-day basis.
Albarella has been instrumental in helping create and roll out the PruALLY program, which started in 2013 as the larger equality conversation was just kicking up and people didn’t have a broad understanding of why they should care. The program offered information on the issues surrounding marriage equality and addressed some of the misunderstandings people might have if they didn’t realize firsthand what people were facing.
“This awareness was very impactful even beyond Prudential’s doors into the greater community,” she says, while also assuring LGBQT employees that they had a supportive organization around them. In 2014, she received the Trailblazer Award from Re:Gender for thiswork.
The program has expanded over the years and now gives people a diversity and inclusion pledge they can keep top of mind to remind them that what they say can impact people. The program is being rolled out internationally; Albarella says it’s almost overwhelming when she goes to another location and sees PruAlly desk tents.
They just did a refresh of the campaign to keep the materials relevant, and when they asked executives to participate in a photo shoot and say why they are an Ally, they had hoped to get eight to 10 interested responses, but received more than 75. “We were overwhelmed by the welcoming support,” she says.
Albarella is particularly proud that PRIDE is the most tenured BRG at Prudential, celebrating its 25th anniversary. “The company has always been supportive in using the BRG almost as a focus group and made many changes over the years,” she says. And it has been a big asset in recruiting, which has helped Prudential benefit from a diverse workforce that allows the firm to bring broader experiences to apply to business problems and helps them better reach all their customers.
Helping Others Achieve a Bright Future
Albarella urges young women to be confident in their skills and not shy away from high-profile projects. “Even if you are not as successful as you want to be, it will be a tremendous learning opportunity and also showcase you to others on the team for future roles.”
And don’t be satisfied with a support role or be afraid to ask for something bigger, she says. “Sometimes people wait to be asked, but if someone steps up and offers, we find a way to bring those people onto the project.”
She encourages her peers to go beyond mentoring and use their voices to advocate for younger women coming up and ensure they have the training that will prepare them for more senior roles. “Create time to sponsor and champion those in the pipeline to make space for them to take the next step,” she says. It’s important for those in senior positions to help engage others and seek their opinions, asking to hear their voice if they are quiet in a meeting, for example, as a way for them to build their skills and everyone to benefit from diverse perspectives.
Experiencing The Positive Side of Video Games
An avid video gamer, she is proud this is a passion she shares with her wife and daughter and son, who have been gaming since they were young. She finds it brings them together on a common platform; for example, although her daughter is away at graduate school in Kansas, they can log on at night and catch up, which she says has been a wonderful opportunity to connect.
Other positives she sees in gaming are that it has taught her children to be very detail-oriented and has also given them the chance to lead. And most importantly, it has provided different experiences and enabled them to put themselves in other people’s shoes.
She knows firsthand how valuable that is: Albarella herself had been in a straight marriage for 19 years and never realized she was a lesbian until she played a video game that put her in the shoes of a same-sex relationship where she realized that’s what she’d been missing. “Video games hold a special place in my heart because they helped me come out,” she says.
The 3 Best Ways Busy Professionals Can Reduce Stress and Start Thriving
Career Advice, Guest ContributionGuest Contributed by Julie Morris
Ask busy professional women about what she most desires, and a lot will wish to reduce stress.
If you feel like you’re living on the proverbial hamster wheel, it’s time to make small changes to your day to reduce stress and save your sanity. Our tips will help you thrive instead of just get by.
1. Multitask in your personal life
Busy professionals are the rock stars of multitasking. But, multitasking for work is very different from multitasking for yourself. In fact, multitasking may be the wrong word to use. According to Entrepreneur, your brain time-shares rather than multitasks since it is only able to focus on a single task at a time. You must learn how to divvy up your time equally and effectively among tasks. How is this accomplished? Create a to-do list categorized into similar tasks so that your brain doesn’t have to totally change gears. Be sure to always keep your list visible so that you don’t feel that rush of accomplishment, only to realize you have more to do. If you start feeling overwhelmed, remember it’s okay to take a step back and get re-focused. In the future, saying “no” is an option too to avoid getting burnt out.
2. Use Your Lunch Hour to Reduce Stress and Refocus
Unfortunately, Americans take only a portion of their lunch break to eat, or they skip lunch altogether. According to the New York Post, one survey found that 50 percent of workers take 30 minutes or fewer on their lunch hour and that 29 percent work through lunch. Some of the best ways to reclaim your lunchtime include leaving the office to have lunch with a friend or exercising outside with a co-worker or friend. To maximize the benefits of getting out of the office, meet a friend outside to eat for 30 minutes and spend the other 30 minutes walking, meditating, or doing yoga. Physical activity gives you the true breaks you need from work to get refreshed and boost your brain function and mood to help you be more productive and have less stress.
3. Prioritize Tasks
Implementing time management practices is another excellent way to reduce stress on a daily basis. For example, create a checklist for work and home. Arming yourself with a checklist helps you focus and reduces the amount of time you waste on email and social media or chatting with co-workers. Be sure to organize your checklist from most to least pressing tasks and consider allotting yourself enough time for each one. By prioritizing, you will not only feel less stressed, but may find that you are better able to concentrate because you’ll know you’re giving your attention to the most important task on your to do list.
If you’re a visual person, put the checklist on your laptop or tablet or on your desk so you can mark off completed tasks, feel a sense of accomplishment, and know where you stand with your day. If you prefer to use technology, create a note or list on your smartphone; or download one of the many checklist apps.
Stress levels also climb when you feel like you have to do everything right now. One tip is to follow the two-minute and 10-minute rule, as described by Kyle Brost. If you have a task that will take fewer than two minutes, do it immediately so that you don’t face the stress of having too many incomplete tasks. However, if you have a task that requires more time, use the 10-minute rule. Commit to working on the task for 10 minutes. When the time is up, permit yourself to stop and move on to something else to keep chipping away at your to-do list.
High levels of stress prevent you from being productive and thriving. Do yourself a favor and multitask for yourself. Then, use your lunch hour to refocus and reduce stress. It’s also helpful to prioritize tasks and manage your time wisely.
Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com
5 Things You Can Do as a Leader to Help Increase Engagement In Company Initiatives
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!This week we invited a guest to contribute to the career tip column.
Fierce Conversations wrote a recent blog post on how leaders engage with it comes to organizational initiatives.
Mover and Shaker: Kim Ford, Senior Legal Director, Asia Pacific and Global Issuing, WEX
Movers and ShakersBy Cathie Ericson
WEX’s Kim Ford has always worked hard to create and drive a positive and satisfying career.
“I believe in giving my very best to any role I am in and making the most of it. To do that, I try to make sure that I actively pursue and create the right opportunities. Equally I also like to make sure that I regularly pause to reflect and evaluate to ensure that I am on track from both a professional and personal perspective. If something is amiss, it’s important to me to quickly identify steps to correct and ‘right the ship’ –I have learned that life is too short to not take control of your happiness, career path and job satisfaction,” she says. “I feel that following this philosophy has led to me to where I am today. I am in a role where I can genuinely say I am doing some of the most challenging and exciting work of my career to date, and working with wonderful people at a really great company.”
Blending Two Career Disciplines To Forge a Successful Path
Ford’s first foray into the world of law was as a private practice insurance litigator, acting for professionals filing claims under their professional indemnity insurance policies. While she enjoyed the work, she realized after a few years that private practice and the expected path towards partnership was not for her. She began to look into ways she could use her skills as more of a strategic business partner, which would allow her to deliver end-to-end solutions and ultimately have the satisfaction of seeing the fruits of her labor pay off.
Ford subsequently joined ANZ Bank as an in-house legal counsel in the retail banking division where after a few years she jumped at the opportunity to join the corporate ranks of ANZ’s retail business. Over the next four years, she gained experience in project management and senior product management running a business line P&L, eventually leading ANZ’s retail loyalty team.
After this stint gaining corporate experience and learning more about the challenges of operating a business, Ford was offered the chance to return to her roots as a lawyer and join WEX as Associate General Counsel for its Asia Pacific business, a generalist position that allowed her to touch all legal-related issues. She held that role for three years and now is accountable for the Asia Pacific legal team, as well as for Global Issuing, which supports WEX’s new market entry efforts and growth strategies.
The value of her two distinct career paths became clear in 2017, when she successfully led the project responsible for setting up, licensing and operationalizing WEX’s emoney Institution in the United Kingdom. The emoney Institution license enables WEX to offer credit and all its products across the 31 nations in the European Economic Area, and securing the license was part of broader efforts to both expand in Europe and enable the provision of WEX’s payment solutions in the region .
“For me, it bore out the benefits of the combination of my legal training and corporate experience and underscored the importance of having previously taken the time out of legal to gain solid experience in the corporate environment,” she says, adding that there are very few employers globally where she would have the opportunity to work on the type of projects she is currently undertaking.
Valuing the Whole Person
Ford sees sponsorship as critical to any career, but underscores that it is a two-way street: First you need to earn your sponsor’s commitment and provide your sponsor with a return on their investment, and then you need to commit to nurturing the relationship. Along the way she has been fortunate to have a number of role models, but one of the most profound experiences she has had was with a partner for whom she first worked when commencing in private practice. She took the time to teach Ford how to properly structure advice and legal arguments, while ensuring that she always kept the client’s best interest at the forefront of her thinking. “She was very firm at times, which as a junior lawyer was sometimes a little scary, but at the same time she was very nurturing as well as generous with her time and knowledge. She also taught me the importance of pragmatism,” Ford says, adding that she helped influence many of the career traits that Ford depends on today.
In addition to excellent role models, Ford believes that companies need to have policies and approaches that bring equality to the workplace, for everyone. “WEX is an incredibly family-friendly and flexible place to work, which enables me and — and consequently my family — to have a healthy balance,” she notes. “WEX encourages the delivery of results at work while at the same time ensuring that we all have the time to take care of the other important aspects of our life, such as family and health.”
Voice of Experience: Terry Albarella, Vice President, Enterprise Architecture, Prudential Financial
Voices of ExperienceBeing out is something that Terry Albarella feels is essential to her success in the workplace.
That’s because being authentic allows you to build a level of trust with your team and peers; if you don’t share, people might wonder if you are hiding something or assume that you don’t care enough to share. The more you can share, the better relationships you create, and the better work everyone can do together, she says.
“Sharing our personal lives helps us be a more cohesive team. When pressure and deadlines come, you can get through those rough times better when you have established a high level of trust,” she says.
On that note, Albarella says she’s been able to meet a broad range of people who feel open to share their stories because they know hers, which has allowed her to get to know people with whom her path might not otherwise have crossed. She has also found that working with executives who might not know someone in the LGBTQ+ community has given them a comfortable opportunity to learn and imparted a broader knowledge they can take to their team and their customers.
Alexa, Please Check My Balance
Albarella began on a technical path right out of college as a developer providing PC support. She joined Prudential in 1995 where they were consolidating from a distributed support model, and over time as they centralized, she gravitated toward the server and application support side, focusing on developing efficiency in the system and responding to problems before they could impact customers. Over the last few years she has moved into the architectural space, helping with upgrades right from the start when they bring tech in the door.
While she has been involved in many large, impactful problems over her tenure, most recently she led a team that rolled out the Alexa voice assistant to Prudential’s customers. While Alexa is known for its skills on the consumer side, there are now more opportunities for business applications, and Prudential was proud to be the first to market with a retirement skill on the platform. “It was an interesting project that allowed us to collaborate on something that was brand new, and we had to put a structure in place to support it with all the rigor that our systems demand.”
The product was made public in the beginning of April, and now anyone who has a Prudential retirement account can use Alexa to look at their account balances. “It gave us a great opportunity to take some new talent we had hired and give them the opportunity to come straight out of school and play a critical role in a project that would interest them right away,” she notes. The test was so successful that they are looking into other voice assistants and emerging technologies to see how they can be creative on all platforms and offer innovative ways for customers to access information in the way they prefer.
Pride in Her Role in PRIDE
Equally important to Albarella as her tech role is her leadership position in the PRIDE Business Resource Group, of which she has been a member since 2010 and president for the past four years. “It has offered a great opportunity to serve customers in the LGBT community better while also allowing me to get more involved in the business components of supporting employees.”
And, she adds, this “side job” in PRIDE has helped her develop relationships she can use in her day job, as she now has a strong network across the organization with people she otherwise wouldn’t have been in contact with on a day-to-day basis.
Albarella has been instrumental in helping create and roll out the PruALLY program, which started in 2013 as the larger equality conversation was just kicking up and people didn’t have a broad understanding of why they should care. The program offered information on the issues surrounding marriage equality and addressed some of the misunderstandings people might have if they didn’t realize firsthand what people were facing.
“This awareness was very impactful even beyond Prudential’s doors into the greater community,” she says, while also assuring LGBQT employees that they had a supportive organization around them. In 2014, she received the Trailblazer Award from Re:Gender for thiswork.
The program has expanded over the years and now gives people a diversity and inclusion pledge they can keep top of mind to remind them that what they say can impact people. The program is being rolled out internationally; Albarella says it’s almost overwhelming when she goes to another location and sees PruAlly desk tents.
They just did a refresh of the campaign to keep the materials relevant, and when they asked executives to participate in a photo shoot and say why they are an Ally, they had hoped to get eight to 10 interested responses, but received more than 75. “We were overwhelmed by the welcoming support,” she says.
Albarella is particularly proud that PRIDE is the most tenured BRG at Prudential, celebrating its 25th anniversary. “The company has always been supportive in using the BRG almost as a focus group and made many changes over the years,” she says. And it has been a big asset in recruiting, which has helped Prudential benefit from a diverse workforce that allows the firm to bring broader experiences to apply to business problems and helps them better reach all their customers.
Helping Others Achieve a Bright Future
Albarella urges young women to be confident in their skills and not shy away from high-profile projects. “Even if you are not as successful as you want to be, it will be a tremendous learning opportunity and also showcase you to others on the team for future roles.”
And don’t be satisfied with a support role or be afraid to ask for something bigger, she says. “Sometimes people wait to be asked, but if someone steps up and offers, we find a way to bring those people onto the project.”
She encourages her peers to go beyond mentoring and use their voices to advocate for younger women coming up and ensure they have the training that will prepare them for more senior roles. “Create time to sponsor and champion those in the pipeline to make space for them to take the next step,” she says. It’s important for those in senior positions to help engage others and seek their opinions, asking to hear their voice if they are quiet in a meeting, for example, as a way for them to build their skills and everyone to benefit from diverse perspectives.
Experiencing The Positive Side of Video Games
An avid video gamer, she is proud this is a passion she shares with her wife and daughter and son, who have been gaming since they were young. She finds it brings them together on a common platform; for example, although her daughter is away at graduate school in Kansas, they can log on at night and catch up, which she says has been a wonderful opportunity to connect.
Other positives she sees in gaming are that it has taught her children to be very detail-oriented and has also given them the chance to lead. And most importantly, it has provided different experiences and enabled them to put themselves in other people’s shoes.
She knows firsthand how valuable that is: Albarella herself had been in a straight marriage for 19 years and never realized she was a lesbian until she played a video game that put her in the shoes of a same-sex relationship where she realized that’s what she’d been missing. “Video games hold a special place in my heart because they helped me come out,” she says.
Career Tips from a Senior Female Executive in Commercial Real Estate
Career Advice, Guest ContributionImage via Shutterstock
Guest contributed by Lauren Leach
For women considering a career in commercial real estate, consider restructuring as the opportunities are vast and varied and sure to offer challenges and fulfillment.
This is a field with a surprising shortage of women. I have always viewed being a woman as an advantage. It means you are more likely to get noticed in a professional situation. As such, it is imperative you are prepared and have the skill set and knowledge to communicate and execute effectively once you are noticed.
It was a circuitous route that brought me to my career. A summer internship changed the professional trajectory of my life. I was working on my psychology degree at the University of Michigan when a family friend suggested I explore real estate. Intrigued, that summer I secured an internship at a prestigious global commercial real estate brokerage and began building the foundation for my career
I found the commercial real estate industry so compelling in large part because of the high-risk, high-reward nature of the business, which has a variety of subsets that allow me to constantly expand and hone new skills. Real estate, unlike some other asset classes in a commercial portfolio, provides a platform to truly measure value and witness tangible progress in the form of brick and mortar. In today’s tumultuous environment, my skillsets and experience in this area are in great demand.
Now, I specialize in restructuring distressed commercial real estate properties. My focus changed to distressed real estate from the brokerage side of the business to embrace new challenges. Working as a broker during the Great Recession provided a fierce and up close look at the volatility of the commercial real estate market. That volatility has perhaps never been more evident than in recent years.
As I’ve ascended in my career, I have learned a lot and offer the following tips for young professionals entering the industry:
I have also been fortunate in that I have not personally experienced sexual harassment or similar inappropriateness in the workplace. Culture is set at the top. Again, do your research as you make decisions related to what organizations you want to work for. If you do experience harassment or intimidation in any form, documentation and discussion with HR is essential. If it is happening to you, most likely it is happening to others too.
About Lauren Leach
Lauren Leach, Director, Conway MacKenzie has negotiated over 8,000,000 square feet of leases with a value in excess of $410,000,000. She also specializes in court-appointed receiverships, leasing matters, portfolio valuations and liquidations, and complex real estate negotiations. Lauren holds a B.A. in psychology and Master’s degree in retail brokerage from the University of Michigan. She resides in Metro Detroit with her husband, daughter and dog.
Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com
5 Tips to Increasing your Empathy as a Leadership Strategy
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!I used to have zero empathy, lots of honest concern for the person in their situation, but zero empathy (and I have the psychometric tests to prove it).
I could not understand why people could not do better, get over it and get on with it. I was judging them against my paradigms built as a child growing up in a terrorist state with an emotionally unavailable parent and a right wing culture telling me I had to be tough to survive( Northern Ireland in the 1980s under Thatcher). My frameworks and values were in play exclusively, not the other person’s frameworks. It was frustrating for me and I am pretty sure it was not a pleasant experience for people I managed and had in my life. Empathy is a leadership skill, because without it you cannot understand what people are feeling which dictates everything from how they perform to how they show up at work attitudinally and to how authentic they are with you.
This is key if you want to get past the golden rule of ‘treat others of treat people how you want to be treated’ and evolve to the platinum rule of “treat others how they want to be treated.”
So, I built, brick by brick and I internalized it and like any muscle flexed it until it became integral to my nature. You can do this also!
Here are 4 quick tips to get started:
1. Ask open questions that allow people to tell you about themselves and their situations in a way that gives them space to do it their way. Don’t interrogate people as building trust comes before, during and after these types of interactions.
2. Understand the difference between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy is when you feel an emotion for their situation ( such as sorrow and there is distance between you and them emotionally). Empathy is when their emotion is something that you feel with them as it pertains to your own ability to map it internally to your own experiences.
3. Do not limit other people’s emotions to your own range or to your own experiences. Frankly, you might not have the biggest range in the world. And if are very subjective in your ability to interpret events and can only do it through your lens ( see Kegan and Lahey again on the socialized mind in Immunity to Change) then I have found in people who have low EQ but lots of empathy that the person who is seeking to be understood by you on a topic can feel frustrated by the way that you are very keen to share what happened to you as part of the meaning- making and it can drown out the original person. Or that the subjectivity factor completely limits the process, putting the process in or near the concern quadrant if this was a map.
4. Recap and name the emotions you hear as a question not as a statement. In my opinion this is very tied to points 1 and 2 and 3.
5. Use the “magic if” to walk in the other person’s shoes. For example: “If my dad had a stroke this week, would i be able to finish project x today?’.
Practice makes perfect! And imperfection is ok too, your efforts will be appreciated, I am sure.
If you would like to develop your leadership skillst, I would be happy to work with you as your executive coach. Contact me on 646 6882318 or nicki@theglasshammer.com for an exploratory chat
Voice of Experience: Kerri Durso, Shearman & Sterling
Voices of ExperienceDon’t be afraid to speak up, urges Shearman & Sterling’s Kerri Durso, a New York-based counsel in the Derivatives & Structured Products practice.
“I find young lawyers– and women in particular– can be hesitant to speak up in groups. If you know the answer, share it without feeling intimidated by others,” she advises. “Having a true presence at the table is more than just being there and taking notes, but providing material information in an appropriate manner when you have it.”
A Career Built on Industry Mastery
After summering at Shearman & Sterling during her second year of law school, Kerri joined the firm’s Financial Restructuring & Insolvency practice as a full-time associate in 2008. She notes that this was a fantastic time to be an insolvency lawyer, with Lehman Brothers having filed for bankruptcy only the month before she started. “I learned so much in those first two years of working on the Lehman case for several of its creditors,” she says.
When the Lehman issues began to sort themselves out, she moved to Derivatives and Structured Products, which piqued her interest given the number of derivative claims in the Lehman insolvency. She has been there ever since, working for both the buy-side and sell-side, as well as market utilities.
Learning something new all the time is what keeps her interest fresh. For example, while new derivatives regulation coming out of Dodd-Frank has slowed, the implementation of several important aspects of Dodd-Frank continues. Currently she is deep in implementing the new margin requirements mandating the exchange of variation and initial margin for market participants. The regulations provided for a phased-in implementation schedule, and several financial institutions are subject to deadlines this fall. The market is also preparing for the fall of 2019 when the next phase will apply that requires new industry form documentation. “It is very exciting to be a part of drafting form documents that will be used for years to come in the derivatives market,” she notes.
While she has enjoyed many aspects of her work, the professional achievement Kerri says she is most proud of is the role she has played in expanding Shearman & Sterling’s relationship with several financial institutions. Through her personal connections and hard work, she has helped secure a number of meaningful engagements. “The breadth of the work is always changing, but knowing that our firm has the resources to serve a variety of different needs of our clients is something I am proud to be a part of,” she says.
Sharing Wisdom is Crucial for Future Generations
One lesson Kerri has learned along the way – that, as she admits, no one wants to learn – is that everyone makes mistakes, and the key is what you do after. “Recognize the mistake and raise the issue with those you are working with in a timely fashion,” she recommends. “There are few mistakes that cannot be fixed if you take responsibility and raise the issue as soon as possible,” she says, adding that clients and coworkers will respect you for addressing the mistake head on.
Over the years she learned many professional lessons from her sponsors, both male and female, whom she says have encouraged her throughout her career. She recommends young lawyers entering the industry put effort into finding someone they can relate to and emulate, cultivating the relationship if it doesn’t occur naturally. “These are the people who will help guide you through difficult issues in the workplace and that you can look to for career advice,” she says.
She encourages her peers to proactively assume those roles by taking an interest in the junior lawyers they work with. “I hope that I can play the same role my sponsors did for me for even one lawyer,” she says.
Kerri has been active in WISER (Women’s Initiative for Success, Excellence and Retention), the firm’s women’s inclusion network, which emphasizes mentorship, professional development and awareness for all lawyers. She co-chaired the group for two years and proudly attends their functions today, finding it to be a good forum to discuss career paths and learn how others have excelled.
In order to maintain a healthy work-life balance, Kerri says it’s imperative to find time to unplug; for example, she plans at least one great family vacation each year. It doesn’t always need to be to somewhere exotic, she says, but somewhere she can relax with her two-and-a-half-year-old son, infant daughter and husband. In addition, she is enjoying working with her son in the small vegetable garden they planted. “I truly enjoy spending time with my family and anything we do together is a treat,” she says.
Why Gender Equality is Good for Men | Part One
Career Advice, Men Who "Get It"Guest contributed by Lisa Levey
Gender equality is one of those loaded topics that can bring conversation to a halt.
Women’s empowerment has been portrayed as a link to all that men have lost, whether its perceived loss of professional opportunities or loss of the privilege of not having to deal with housework or childcare. There is a fear that expectation of females being subordinate dissipates with equality, which is an outdated expectation to have in modern society to start with but surprisingly present still for some families.
Women’s rising power has left many men seething and many more with a gnawing fear that gains for women mean losses for men. The incredible irony is: the culprit is not gender equality but misguided thinking about masculinity which is shared by both genders and that exacts such a high toll on men.
Read on to discover why based on research, rather than hyperbole, gender equality is a gift for men that keeps on giving.
Gender equality benefits men’s physical health
Gender is highly linked with health risks and outcomes and men continually draw the short stick. But men’s health challenges are substantially driven by their own attitudes and behaviors [which they can change.]
Men who espouse more traditional beliefs about gender make less healthy choices. They drink more alcohol, smoke more, and are more likely to take drugs as well as paying less attention to eating healthily or getting enough sleep. They’re less likely to seek medical care for preventive reasons or to follow their physician’s instructions when they do seek care. Real men don’t seem to think they need to cut their portion sizes as they age, limit how much beer they drink, or spend precious time going to the doctor but they make these decisions at their own peril.
Gender equality benefits men’s marital satisfaction
Alongside women’s influx into the workforce over the last half-century, there’s been a shift in how men experience marriage. Marriages became more unstable – at first – as women began evolving from a more subordinate to a more egalitarian role. In the 1980’s the divorce rate among couples where the woman was more highly educated exceeded that for couples where this was not the case. Yet through time there has been a profound shift. Beginning in the 1990’s, women’s higher educational attainment no longer predicted elevated divorce rates and the marital stability of educational equals rose.
A professor at Brigham Young University studied the division of labor for married couples and those living together across 31 countries. She found couples with a more shared approach to caring for their children and homes were happier in their relationships than couples with a more specialized approach.
Based on my research with parents who sought to proactively share the load at home, both men and women described the power of walking in each other’s shoes and having each other’s backs. They saw themselves on the same team, spending their precious energy on navigating the challenges of equality in a still highly-gendered world, rather than on arguing with each other.
Across the U.S., states with a higher percent of couples in traditional marriages report escalated divorce rates compared to states with a higher percent of dual earner families. Data indicates changing gender norms and family values go hand in hand.
Gender equality benefits men’s relationships with their children
Society has been terribly unfair to men by invalidating the importance of their parenting role. This messaging has no doubt seeped into men’s thinking and worldview. Ironically, both men who live paycheck-to-paycheck and men with incredible wealth similarly perceive prioritizing time away from work to bond with a new child as a luxury rather than a necessity.
Yet if fathers knew how vitally important they were to their children’s lives, they might make different choices. When fathers are involved early and often, their children benefit in critical ways. Positive father involvement from the outset translates into better academic outcomes, more favorable social behavior, fewer discipline issues and greater happiness. The effects of fathering – both good and bad – stay with children far beyond their youth, manifesting during their adult lives via career success and the ability to manage stress, among other ways.
Based on the inaugural 2015 State of the World’s Fathers study, infants attach to both of their parents from the outset if both are actively involved with their care. Paternal engagement is a protective factor for kids who are close to their dads with children being half as likely to suffer from depression during their youth. In other research, fathers who assume a more egalitarian partnership at home raise daughters who are more ambitious.
Not only do fathers influence daughters but daughters influence fathers. A study highlighted in the Harvard Business Review reports men with daughters run more socially responsible companies, particularly with regard to diversity. Men should hope to work for a company where the male CEO has a first born daughter because if he does, he’ll see more money in his paycheck than if the first born is a son.
Gender equality gives men more flexibility and freedom
Men have been saddled with the primary breadwinning role for too long. And while the bias toward men as primary providers persists, a Pew study suggests there may be change afoot. While more than 70% of women and men reported it was very important for a man to be a good provider, women identified their breadwinning responsibility – and that of other women – as far more important than men.
It’s understandable why many men struggle with not being the primary provider, a role for which they have long felt acute responsibility and received social and financial reward. Yet many men fail to see how their partner’s earning capacity provides not only far greater security for the family but also far more flexibility for them. With a financial teammate, men can more easily contemplate starting a business, leaving a bad employer, or push for a promotion. Gender equality helps men to not feel stuck and without options.
Multiple research studies document that men in more egalitarian relationships report lower levels of work-life stress. What may seem counterintuitive for men is that devoting more time to their lives outside of work actually minimizes their work-life stress. The same has not been found to be true for women so really isn’t it time for men to see and talk about the benefits of getting on board with gender equality.
Tune in next week for the second installment of why gender equality is good for men.
Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com
What you Need to Know About the Glass Ceiling (Before your Head Hits it!)
Career Advice, Guest ContributionGuest contributed by Ella Patenall
If I asked someone on the street to name 3 male CEO’s they’ve heard of, they probably wouldn’t struggle to answer. Ask them for 3 women and they might falter.
We have seen an increase in women securing senior management roles. However, statistics continue to show that these roles are disproportionately held by their male counterparts, with women holding just 20% of senior management roles. Just 6.4% of CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are women. Furthermore, it has been predicted that it will take 100 years for women and men to be level in management roles.
This is in-part due to the glass ceiling. The glass ceiling refers to the invisible barrier women may face in their working life. It’s the theory that a woman can work her way through a company with a promotion in sight yet is blocked from senior roles, no matter how qualified she may be. Coined in 1978, this theory, sadly, still holds true.
So, are men better at business?
Research on many top UK and US companies has demonstrated otherwise.
Companies with a female CEO on average had better return on capital than those with no women on executive committees.
Women CEOs in the Fortune 1000 Drive three times the returns as S&P enterprises run by men.
According to research conducted by University of California Berkeley, companies who value gender diversity in their organisations see a boost to their bottom line.
A study found that girls outperformed boys in a collaborative problem solving. The study was repeated in numerous countries and the same results were recorded. This collaboration is important within a business environment where many teams exist and are required to work together on shared goals.
Additionally, in developed nations, women outperform men in education across the board.
In the US, men, no matter what their ethnicity or socio-economic group, are less likely to achieve a bachelor’s degree at college. In fact, 40 years ago, men made up 58% of college places and today this has reversed.
In the UK, this situation is mirrored, with campaigns such as ‘take our son to university day’ cropping up to increase the number of boys in higher education.
It would seem than women’s higher academic achievement would have predicted more women ending up in the highest business positions.
How can the glass ceiling be shattered?
Although it will take many decades before gender roles are eliminated and attitudes change completely towards women in the workplace. Sadly, for now, women must work harder than men to achieve the same success. Here are a few steps you could take to reach full potential in your career.
Don’t undervalue yourself
Studies have highlighted that women tend to undervalue themselves. A way this manifest is not asking for a pay rise, or a promotion when it’s deserved due to fear of losing a job and being perceived as ‘pushy’ – a trait more comfortably accepted in men. This is great news for our CEO’s who are saving money due to our unwillingness to request a pay rise!
Don’t settle for lower than you deserve due to a lack of confidence. If you feel you really deserve a pay rise or promotion after your hard work and service, speak to your manager and let them know how you feel. It’s important not to remain trapped in a role when you deserve better.
This undervaluing is problematic before even being in a role. Research has shown that women apply for a job role if they meet 100% of the requirements, whereas men will apply with just 60%! Don’t let not meeting all the criteria put you off. An employer doesn’t usually expect someone to meet everything and might be impressed by the experience and credentials you already possess and see great potential in you.
Networking and collaborate
A large part of building success is learning from others and building relationships. Attending network events is a great way to meet likeminded business people. There is a plethora of business events aimed at women, which aid by increasing confidence and self-esteem, connecting with mentors and forging business partnerships and friendships.
Embracing fear and failure
Stereotypes that women don’t take risks continue to prevail. Taking risk is essential in business and women who have made it to the top have not done so without an element of risk and some failure along the way.
Remember that failure is a part of succeeding. Acknowledging and accepting failures can make you a stronger and more successful businesswoman. Failure teaches us our best lessons and can be a source of motivation.
Ella Patenall writes for Inspiring Interns, which specializes in sourcing candidates for internships and graduate jobs.
Maintaining Credibility: How to Deal with People Who Try to Devalue You
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!What happens when someone tries to discredit your work or disqualify you as a contender for a job?
Not just in politics, but in the workplace too. It is hard to believe that we still have to talk about this matter, but its still lurking. Whether it is overt sexism, a micro-aggression or even worse, the impact on the person on the receiving end is real. In the societal context, women ( and other minorities) are not believed and the benefit of the doubt usually goes to the perpetrator due to their status and biological sex/race/orientation (i.e. legacy dominant position that people do not like to challenge their implicit authority). In a work context, it means less pay, lost promotions and general unnecessary emotional stress. This is the stuff that causes a drag on individual/ team and firm performance and no amount of words about diversity from the CEO or drinks in the women’s network will fix the heart of what diversity work is; power and who gets it to have it , keep it and be believed.
Often people with issues (this is the kindest version I can print) will try to discredit you as a person and they start with your social identity, which means your grouping characteristics such as which gender you are, which ethnicity you are, and which orientation you are. Even if you personally don’t feel massive affiliation to these categories because it can be a shock to people with no intersectionality that you too could be just trying to live your life as a human and do your work without considering yourself (insert what you are here: a woman/black/gay etc).
Remember, it is often about you according to them and their stereotypical notions of who you are and absolutely nothing to do with who you actually are and what you are actually capable of. Equally, the people who i am referring to who feel like they are a threatened species, often benefit from their sex, skin color via positive stereotyping ( someone once said, its not a glass ceiling, but a thick layer of men). It is worth noting that anyone can do it even if they are a woman themselves because internalized misogyny and desire to protect traditional power structures have never been so obvious than this moment in history. But, whatever other people’s paradigms are, remedial attitudes or baggage, it should not have to be at your expense.
Why is this career advice? It is something that you need to be aware of because unfortunately one day you might stumble up against a less than evolved individual who will directly or indirectly try to lessen your credibility or devalue your work based on nothing more than your social identity.
How this plays out is that they take a shot at you based on their perception of their superiority and appropriateness regarding legacy positions for women, people of color and LGBT people. For example, at a recent social gathering, a fellow who had previously said offhand comments about women at work and LGBT people, decided to directly spit out a challenge starting the question with “who?” when the who was very obvious so it was not actually a question, it was a micro-aggression against a gay family structure.
Furthermore, bias is regularly disguised as ‘values’ because if you look at how values are formed, it is easy to see that constructs come from past norms, socio-conditioning and current cultural messaging. What did their granny tell them when they were nine? Chances are, they are operating heavily on familiar programming completely unaware that they have inherited things that they might not even truly believe if examined.
So, what do you do if you find yourself facing a person who is intentionally trying to devalue you.
There are strategies to pursue and which road to take depends on three things:
1. The overall systemic environment.
Where is the whole group at regarding their own ability to honestly digest how individual behaviors impact ongoing norms and actual humans in the group? The denial levels for untoward behavior in the workplace or socially are reducing as we have seen this year with sexual harassment. But, overall the ability to deny wrongdoing on micro-aggressions are still high. Look at how tolerant of bad behavior is the manager of your team? What flies? What are the group norms?
This is workplace culture and crucial to your next move when bringing up what happened. Will you be believed? The worst thing is not being believed or being told your experience couldn’t be true or is somehow invalid. Will you be shushed as excuses from you are wrong /you misunderstood them fly from people who are supposed to listen to such things? (HR , leaders, mentors, friends). Take the temperature as your truth is your truth, but group theory (Bion) suggests the group will protect the legacy structures, unless there are reasons not to.
2. The standing of the individual and their power based on them as an individual but also the power and authority assigned to them due to their social identity which adds benefit of the doubt privilege. Extreme cases are Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby- they thought they were untouchable due to the social currency. But, everyday bias and derogatory stuff is what we are talking about here, so relay the transgression to people who have mental complexity and can hold two conflicting realities in their head at the same time. That is to say, they can experience that this guy is great with them but bad to you as simultaneously true versions of reality and use their one subjective personal data point as an objective truth.
If no mental complexity is there ( as defined by Kegan, the Harvard development psychologist by the way, not just being rude here in saying they are not advanced), you will risk the high denial element again as these folks might have high IQ and make lots of money but are completely remedial on EQ, SQ and connecting the dots and you might as well be arguing with a small child.
This can be a depressing piece of work as there are many people who are capable but just have never had to do any real joining of cognitive, emotional and psychological processes because they can just stay in their ignorance as they have had no direct experience of what it means to be in the non dominant group and intersectionality doesn’t touch them. Also congruence is comfortable for everyone so its not their fault how they got there but it is their responsibility to figure out how to develop knowing that the world is full of many different types of people who historically didn’t have any power – see Kegan and Lahey again on the socialized mind in Immunity to Change. There are still so many men and women who cant help but protect the status quo for so many reasons. If you want to see this in action, participate in a contained social experiment- go to an AK Rice Group Relations conference on Power and Authority!
3. The third factor is your personality? Are you a confronter or a keep the peace person? You need to know your own comfort zones and abilities and what you are going to be able to take emotionally as revealing bad people can take strength, energy and there are stakes at play sometimes ( the bully/bigot knows that the stakes are low or them and high for you).
So, once you know the above, you can work out what the best course of action is. Sometimes it is about doing something and sometimes is it is not.
For extra reading, I recommend Leaders Guide to Leveraging Diversity Capabilities or leave this book on your boss’s desk to prime the pump for people who want to make things better so you build a cultural coalition of people who know how to deal with everyday problem children at work. I quote Maya Angelou in high regard, because “when you know better, you do better.”
If you are dealing with difficult people or a culture that has systemic diversity issues in it, I would be happy to work with you as your executive coach. Contact me on 646 6882318 or nicki@theglasshammer.com for an exploratory chat.