Op-Ed: Go Ahead, Burn That Bridge – How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

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Laura Gassner OttingDuring a two decade career in executive search, it was my job to call the most successful people in the world and recruit them away on behalf of my clients. They were successful, which is why I was calling them. But despite all this success, they weren’t very happy, which is why they were calling me back. Over time, I became fascinated with the question, “Why doesn’t success equal happiness?”

One reason stood out: Most of us were handed a definition of success by someone else. In other words, when we were younger, someone – perhaps a parent, a teacher, a friend, even a celebrity – told us who we should be when we grew up, and we adopted it, either consciously or subconsciously, until it became our path.

For me, there was a fourth grade teacher who told me that I was argumentative and should become a lawyer. There was a grandmother who wanted me to marry a nice Jewish doctor. There was the boss who wanted me to maximize his profit margin. For each of these people, I jumped through hoops. And then one day, I woke up and asked myself, when all the boxes were so full, why did I still feel so empty?

Once I identified the problem, I was aghast: it was me. I was trying so hard to please everyone around me that I didn’t stop to ask myself if what I was doing was really pleasing me.

If this sounds all too familiar, you are not alone. According to a survey conducted by YouGov, “About half (49%) of Americans say they would self-identify as people-pleasers. Women (56%) are more likely than men (42%) to say they would describe themselves this way.” Psychology Today notes that people pleasing, at its roots, comes from insecurity (probably based in early childhood), a lack of confidence, and an aversion to conflict. When I wanted to get to the bottom of this, I had to look in the mirror, but I also had to look at who was surrounding me, and who I was so afraid would reject me.

“People won’t like the me I really want to be.”

I hear that a lot from individuals in my executive coaching practice who come to me when they’ve had just enough success to see a version of their increased potential that they never knew existed. I call this moment Wonderhell. It’s amazing and exciting and humbling to achieve something you didn’t think possible. But it also introduces uncertainty, doubt, impostor syndrome, and exhaustion. It’s wonder and it’s hell. It’s Wonderhell, and it’s the space in between who you were yesterday and who you just realized you can become tomorrow.

In this space, we have two choices. First, we can either continue to please the people from our yesterdays. Some of these people are incredibly helpful allies, supporters, and champions. Perhaps they love you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Perhaps they are jealous and, when they see your rise, can only reflect on their own stagnation. Perhaps they are scared and think, “You can’t do that. That’s too scary!” And what they really mean is “I can’t do that. I’m too scared.” But, what about the ones who aren’t so well meaning?

Herein lies the second choice. When we stop pleasing the people whose lack of imagination is holding back our ambitions, we can make room for the people who should populate our tomorrows. It’s not that those other people won’t like the new, real, bigger you. It’s that those people’s opinions no longer matter.

Burn That Bridge

It’s not just people in your intimate physical circle, either. The influences that compel you to please others come from social media, too.

Did you know that people with overweight friends are 57% more likely to become overweight themselves, even if those friends live on the other side of the country? Your emotional connection, not your physical proximity, is the key factor. Studies show that the behavior of your closest intimates—wherever they are—influences the way you behave.

So whether it is slacking on your diet or exercise plan, or deciding an unfulfilling career path, personal relationship or hobby, what they do becomes what you do. What they think becomes what you think. What they normalize becomes what you normalize. Which begs the question: are you pleasing people who make you better, or who make you worse?

Each time you want to run full speed into your next Wonderhell, you’ll find friction with those who aren’t going there with you. They won’t like the you that you want to become. But why let them define your success? Why should they get a vote about what or who you should be? When you grow—when your life gets bigger—you are inevitably going to outgrow the people who liked you when you were smaller.

It’s time to stop giving votes in your life to people who shouldn’t even have voices.

Laura Gassner Otting is the author of Wonderhell: Why Success Doesn’t Feel Like It Should… and What To Do About It, where she explores themes such as impostor syndrome, doubt, and burnout. She can be found everywhere @heyLGO and at LauraGassnerOtting.com.

(The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).

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Why Choose A Women’s Retreat Instead of A Summer Vacation?

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women's retreatAs we enter spring, summer vacation is approaching. While sometimes a vacation is the perfect break from daily life, other times it may feel like a too short escape. Sometimes, as women, we don’t wish only to take a week away from our lives. Sometimes we want to take a deeper look at how we are feeling in our lives and what belongs here, now? 

Once in a while, a woman admits she skipped the annual girlfriends cocktails on the beach trip or perhaps gifted herself a rare week away alone because she knew she was being called to do something else. That voice came from nowhere but within. Rather than a break, sometimes women want to put the brakes on everything, step back and connect: This is my life: how awake am I to the living of it?

Sometimes we want to listen into our own center with less noise around. We want to take an honest look at whether we are allowing ourselves to feel what we truly feel, be who we want to be and do what we most want to do – and how we, ourselves, might be getting in our way. We want to see if we have fallen into getting by in life instead of enchanting our lives. We want to reimagine our possibilities and shift, within ourselves, to be more intentionally in alignment with our desires.

When women choose a women’s retreat, it’s often because they are confronting a crossroads or seek soul nourishiment or simply a fuller sense of aliveness. Which also means they want an experience of life that is nourished from within rather than defined by constant striving. While often held in an idyllic location with exceptional scenery, the real invitation of a women’s retreat is as much to the inner journey as it is to the travel adventure.

Debating about summer plans?

Here are some reasons why you might choose a women’s retreat this year instead of just the usual summer vacation.

You will release stress and be nurtured. Even short mindfulness retreats have shown a significant reduction in stress and anxiety levels and improved biological markers of inflammation. Going on retreat is a way to strip away the distractions and allow yourself to simply be nourished – by your host, by the warmth and sharing of your fellow participants, by the rich offerings of your surroundings. But not only that – you again remember how to truly nourish yourself while on retreat and the importance of that, and not just for a week.

You can disrupt your routine and thought patterns. We typically think at least 6,000 thoughts a day (some say far more) and up to 90% of thoughts are repetitive. Talk about exhausting! At a retreat, you release control of the small decisions and surrender into a different and foreign rhythm. Why does that matter? It disrupts and shakes up your repetitive thought patterns and creates spaciousness in which you can hear other voices within. It’s amazing how the questions and also being-ness that lie buried just under the busy-ness begin to surface.

You will get back into your body and intuition. We live so predominantly in our minds in the modern world and even more so as faces on screens in the virtual workplace. And how much of achievement culture is based on striving and producing at all costs, even if overriding the physical self? Have your ever actually, even once, crossed off the entire to-do list and finally got to the landing? You have to create it for yourself, regardless. A retreat invites you to get back into your body. Whether through breathing or meditation or yoga or free movement, you are given the opportunity to connect with your body and the rich and embodied insight that lives in your cellular awareness.

You will step out of your roles. We play many roles in our lives, but sometimes, we can get so enmeshed with them that the roles start to parade around as us. A role includes any ‘part’ you play from which you derive value, worth or a sense of identity – both the roles that you love (chief executive, favorite grandmother) and roles that you don’t (undervalued team member, sleepless mom of a difficult child). No matter the role, no matter who assigned it to you, no matter what you’ve made it mean and no matter how much your identity may be wrapped up in it, every role is too small. Sometimes we derive our worth from the roles we play and the scripts we’ve created, displacing it from our core. We can also victimize or aggrandize ourselves through roles. Stepping out of them challenges you to value yourself inherently.

You will be seen, heard and validated. Small talk comprises up to one-third of our speech, and plays an important role in social interaction. But women do not come to a retreat to have the usual conversation. A retreat circle is a circle of women who usually did not know each other previously: it can provide a place without history. No blueprint of your identity exists here. Women often come to shake up the conversation they have with themselves. And sometimes, all it takes is being heard saying something you thought you could not, so you can finally clear your throat and let your voice come through. You are invited to be raw and authentic and unresolved. In a women’s retreat, women come together with the intention to honor and support each other – but in doing so, we also redefine what that means.

You can expect some perspective shifts. Of course, putting yourself in new and often incredible surroundings can refresh your perspective. But, if you dare, expect more. Whether we want to face it, there is no one consensus reality. Our experience of life emerges through our practices of perception. In the context of a women’s retreat, you may be able to see where you are buying into beliefs about yourself and the world that have never worked for you. You may be able to see where you are inhibiting yourself with the patterns or false virtues or committing to things you don’t want to with regular reinforcing action, instead of what you want. What if you’ve played down the part of you that would benefit you most to play up? You may recognize that you are sitting in victimhood where it would feel so much more empowering to recognize your agency and your choice. What if the world and your options are not nearly as limited as you have been determined to see them?

You may feel a rush of life force or have new visions. In a women’s retreat, you are invited to remember that being self-loving is how you fill your own cup, so that you can spill over. As you begin to pour into yourself on retreat, with less going on externally to take up space within you, do not be surprised if you begin to feel like you are accessing more of yourself. You may find more to be grateful for. You may remember a vivid energy or quality about yourself that you’ve forgotten and now want to bring back. Or a new way you want to share from your heart. You may realize you have enough resource and energy to make real steps, first within, towards a change you wish for. You may simply feel more at peace and able to be less shaken by the chaos outside of you. But it would be very rare if you thought and felt exactly the same as you did arriving.

Which is the main point, really. So, the biggest reason to skip the traditional summer vacation and go on a women’s retreat this year? What animates you most in life is living into and showing up for this adventure of you.

By: Aimee Hansen – Our “Heart” coach, interviewer, and lead writer – is a women’s retreat creator and facilitator. The Journey Into Sacred Expression writing and yoga women’s retreats on Lake Atitlan in Guatemala are recommended in Lonely Planet Wellness Escapes and have been praised by the nearly 200 women who have gathered with her. Circle with women underneath volcanoes to write, meditate, do yoga, move and participate in various sessions. She has two summer events in 2023: July 7-15 and Aug 25 – Sept 2. Each has 12 spaces only.

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How to Master Remote Interviews

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remote interviewsTen years ago, the idea of a fully remote role would have been unusual, if not unheard of, especially in some industries. But with the COVID-19 pandemic forcing many of us to work from home in recent years, remote work post-pandemic has become increasingly normal.

The benefits of working from home are clear: better work-life balance, no more lost commuting time, reduced costs, and perhaps even increased productivity without office distractions. But working remotely requires a skill set that is focused on communication, self-management and technical confidence.

Job applicants will want to ensure that their CV accurately reflects these skills, but the interview stage is crucial to successfully be hired for a role. Particularly with remote roles, a video interview is part of the process of understanding whether a candidate has the necessary experience to succeed in the future. So how can job seekers set themselves up for success? We take a look.

Be aware of body language

Saying the right things is understandably important when it comes to interviewing, but body language will also play a part. Even if it’s subconscious, the interviewer may warm to a candidate if their body language is open, calm, and confident. This has always been true at in-person interviews, where eye contact and handshakes are a normal part of the process. But how can candidates replicate this on a screen?

Firstly, candidates should make sure to position their camera at eye level so that they’re able to give the impression of eye contact, and the interviewer is able to clearly see their facial expressions. Having a good posture, keeping a calm but confident tone of voice, and smiling will all help applicants ace virtual interviews according to this guide to job hunting in the age of remote work. Interviewing over an internet connection can make it harder to hear what’s being said, so the interviewee should also ensure they’re speaking slowly enough and speaking up.

If a candidate is worried that they will mumble or get flustered when answering, then they can make sure to consider some responses to generic questions before the call. Practicing answers in front of a mirror might sound excessive, but it can help with correcting any body language issues before the big day. Interviewees can also either choose to hide their self-view on screen if it’s too distracting or keep it open to check on how their body language is coming across to others.

Dress professionally

Dressing professionally, even if the interview is taking place virtually, is key for any hopeful remote employee. If in doubt, it’s always best to be a bit overdressed than underdressed – first impressions count. Whilst it can be tempting to go smart on the top half and casual when it comes to trousers, dressing for the role can help encourage confidence and self-belief. Plus, on the off chance that a candidate needs to stand up on the call (unexpected fire alarms do happen), the professional impression will last.

Test the technology

Technology is vital for success in any remote role, and as such it’s important that it works correctly at the interview stage to give a good impression. Interviewees should make sure that their camera, microphone, and internet connection are working properly ahead of time, and know how to use the meeting platform that the interviewer has proposed. Having a small test meeting with a friend can be a good way to ensure that everything is as it should be, checking that the picture is clear and the lighting is good.

Applicants should also make sure that they know how to handle things if they don’t quite go to plan. Remaining calm and professional is important no matter what happens, and it can help to have a backup such as dialing into the meeting from a phone instead of a laptop. If possible, it may also be worth learning how to set up a phone hotspot in case of a patchy internet connection.

Use prompts

The joy of a remote interview is the ability to use sticky note prompts, short summaries, or even have your resume to hand. As long as candidates are not looking away from the screen for long periods of time, using cues can be a great way to give clear answers, and cover all the necessary points. Some interviewees also like to use these notecards to prepare their answers before the interview and then memorize key details, similar to revision flashcards.

It’s important to ensure that answers remain natural – note cards can help with key points to remember, but should not be read aloud word for word.

Keep things quiet

Finally, it’s good practice to ensure that any housemates or family members are informed of interviews well ahead of time, to ensure they will be quiet wherever possible. Whilst noise-canceling headphones will handle background sounds with ease, they won’t block out any loud sounds like doors shutting or the vacuum cleaner. Keeping disruption to a minimum is both professional and less distracting for the person interviewing.

Interviewees should also mute any phone or computer notifications to avoid them getting distracted – it’s easier to lose focus when you’re not in the room with the interviewer. However, this is highly noticeable on a screen. This is not good news when it comes to interviewing success – research has shown that 80% of unsuccessful candidates seemed distracted in their video interviews.

The best chance of success

In the modern world of work, candidates are more likely than ever to find a remote role. However, just because we’re working from home more, it doesn’t mean that first impressions at an interview should also be casual. By following these tips, job seekers can help give themselves the best chance of success.

By: Kathleen White, who works as an independent business analyst for several small businesses. She completed her degree in Business and Management. She enjoys writing in her spare time to share what she has learned, in hopes of benefiting other businesses.

(The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).

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Op-Ed: The Fine Line of Executive Presence for Professional Women

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Nicki Gilmour As a coach, I am often hired by companies to work with very high potential women (and men) who are destined for senior leadership, the executive committee and in some cases even have a real shot at being a CEO or CFO of a publicly traded company, even a Fortune 50.

Around 90% of the time, the words ‘executive presence’ come up as part of the brief, or from the women themselves, on what they want to work on in the safety of a coaching relationship. Executive presence really can mean a myriad of things and it is a term I do not love as it has connotations of assimilation to legacy male traits and behaviors that, when transposed, seem awkward or, at their worst, are actually things that women get penalized for behaviorally. As the past thirty years has shown us, progress can be tricky when societal norms hold firm outside the office. ‘Who is rewarded for what?’ is the ultimate diagnostic question for a workplace culture analysis, not just ‘how many women and BIPOC are in the building?’ It is not Noah’s Ark alone, it is about who gets to be Noah and his ultimate successor and why that is. Also, who does the work and who gets the glory?

It is the double standard, academically defined and much written about double bind that still keeps women out of the office from the White House to the principal’s office (with over 64% of men holding that job while over 80% of teachers are female) to the corner office.

Here are the two fine lines that tend to pop up when people get perception-based feedback.
  1. Passive-seeming versus Assertive. When women are perceived as passive, it is often because they are in fact exercising positive traits but culturally in the organization, more assertive or aggressive behaviors have been rewarded. It is interesting when someone gets labeled conflict avoidant as leaders do need to be able to have the hard conversations and deliver messages upwards to the board and downwards to the team that are sometimes not as favorable as one would hope for. Collaboration is something that should be rewarded in companies but through the lens of innovation and evolving process for best results. Gravitas is really a key trait for all leaders so that the people following them can really trust in what they say as true from an expert or authority perspective.
  2. Aggressive versus Assertive. When women are told that they are aggressive, it is often these days accompanied by people admitting that they wouldn’t think the women getting the feedback would be hearing that same comment if she was a man. So, awareness of the gendered nature of the two sides of the positive and negative stereotype is encouraging, yet still remains a coach’s main fare more often than not. What do you do if you hear this? Separate the “what” from the “how” as it is not about competence or delivery of the tasks and responsibilities, but rather how you make people feel and that can be easily addressed with active listening, charm, captioning and aligning tools to put into your toolkit.
Recognizing and honing your own leadership learning and communication styles

To grow into the leader you want to be on your leadership journey, start with you and understanding your styles and preferences regarding work. You can recognize that others have a different style to you, once you see styles for what they are and how they show up in communications, learning and thinking. How do you uncover your style? The fastest way is to work with a good executive coach who specializes in executive and leadership development, as opposed to straight career coaching.

But, if you don’t have access to that type of resource, then ask yourself: what are your style preferences when it comes to communicating and being communicated with? Are you direct and candid or do you prefer to couch your requests in sentences where the audience can hear a gentler message, sometimes amongst other messages? We are all different and there are many free versions of Myers Briggs and other great tools free online to start, such as SCARF (the neuro-leadership institute) and Emotional Agility report by Dr. Susan David. The Learning Styles Inventory (LSI) is not expensive and comes with a full explanation of how you learn and apply knowledge. Curious souls on their development journey will benefit.

We are all somewhat beholden to how we were raised in our families and societies, unless we have taken the time to disrupt that – which you can start doing today by reading Immunity to Change. Doing this with a coach, or even by yourself, will help you to understand what is stopping you from reaching goals in any sense, including D&I ones.

Nicki Gilmour is the founder of theglasshammer and also works as a leadership and executive coach, helping the companies to lean in while empowering executives to grow and develop. If you would like to be coached by Nicki please email nicki@theglasshammer.com or book an exploratory session. If you are a leader or an HR professional who wishes to know more about the Organizational development work we do check out our site evolvedemployer.com

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Op-ed: How to succeed as a #softblackgirl in Corporate America

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#softblackgirl – It has been said over the years anecdotally that as a Black person in white America, you’ve got to work twice as hard to get half as far. I feel like this has resonated with me for my entire life, and this reality served as a fire for my work ethic. I spent over 20 years leading teams at Fortune 500 companies and startups in Silicon Valley. I worked nights and weekends attempting to make a crack in the “concrete ceiling.” Many are familiar with the term the “glass ceiling,” referring to barriers for women to advance in their careers. We all know that glass eventually can be broken. However, I believe for Black women, our ceiling is a much tougher one to even crack. There have only been four Black women CEOs of Fortune 500 companies in our entire history! And there are only two that are active today.

According to Lean In’s The State of Black Women in Corporate America, for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 58 Black women are promoted, despite the fact that Black women ask for promotions at the same rate as men.

With the obstacles stacked against us at work, and the “invisible labor” that we undertake at home, self-care tends to go out the window as we prioritize our jobs and our families. How can Black women possibly embrace this movement towards a soft life and still do well in the workplace?

5 Steps to Succeed as a #SoftBlackGirl in Corporate America

1. Set Boundaries

Boundaries can come in different forms. Perhaps it’s the hours you are available for work. For example, you might set a strict boundary that you are unavailable after 6pm and will not respond to work messages over the weekend. Maybe it’s the frequency of travel that is sustainable for you and your family. Maybe it’s about your preferred communication channels, and you do not want coworkers texting your personal phone. Regardless of what your boundaries are, be sure to communicate them to your colleagues so that they are aware and can make conscious choices around whether to abide by them.

When you are asked to do things that cross your boundaries, I invite you to pause and ask yourself, do I want to do this? Do I have the space to do this? What will the impact be on me and on others if I do this? Listen to your gut. And, if the answer is “No,” communicate just that. Practicing saying “No” in the mirror can be a very powerful exercise to build up your confidence for the real thing.

What is one boundary that you can set right now that prioritizes self-care?

2. Prioritize & Do Less


We often feel like we have to do everything, and that can be extremely overwhelming. The key to both success and self-care in the workplace is to do what matters to the people that matter. Identify who matters in the organization and what they care about. Excel on those projects, and don’t sweat the small stuff! You will get a bigger bang for your buck in terms of your personal brand image at work, and you’ll have more time for you.

One tool that is extremely helpful in prioritizing is the Eisenhower Matrix. In a 2×2 matrix you categorize tasks into urgent vs. not urgent, and important vs. not important. Based on where something falls in the matrix, you can decide whether to do it now, schedule it for later, delegate, or delete it from your list. My favorite of the categories is when you realize that something is both not urgent and not important, and there is something so satisfying about being able to delete it. This is self-care. This is embracing the soft Black girl life!

What tasks on your to-do list are both not urgent and not important?

3. Celebrate Wins Weekly

I often feel like I’m not doing enough. This leads to a spiral of negative thoughts around my competence, value and self-worth. However research shows that when people are reminded of their best work before undertaking a challenging project, they have more creativity and less stress. Taking the time to acknowledge all the amazing things you have achieved can be a powerful confidence boost and do wonders for your productivity. Every week, (Fridays are great), write down what you can celebrate this week. Small steps of progress count, even if it’s just sending an email that was hard to write!

Once you have recognized all the great wins of the week, it’s important to also take the time to celebrate! I invite you to “Treat Yo’ Self!” This doesn’t necessarily mean to go on a shopping spree, though if that’s what you feel like, then by all means! Think about what brings you joy. Maybe it’s a pedicure. Maybe it’s a luxurious bubble bath with some candles and bath bombs. Maybe it’s a piece of your favorite chocolate.

What is one thing you can celebrate this week? How can you treat yourself?

4. Communicate Your Wins

It’s important that you get the recognition that you deserve, so don’t be shy about communicating your wins both to people more senior in the organization and to those on other teams. In response to “How are you?” at the water cooler, be sure to casually mention your wins. “I’m doing great! I just led this project with {insert success metrics}” or, ”We are very close to launching XYZ!” Consider being the one to send celebration emails when your team has a win. If they come from you, people will associate that win with you!

What is one win that you can communicate to your colleagues?

5. Schedule Self-Care Breaks

If you don’t put it on the calendar, it most likely won’t happen. So schedule time for self-care in your day. This can be something as short as a 5 minute reset break where you are intentional about doing a rejuvenation practice such as box breathing. If breathing isn’t your thing, you could set a timer for two minutes and massage your temples. It’s an amazing stress reliever. If you have more time, maybe you go for a walk outside if the weather is nice, or do a 20 minute sound bath to relax. Consider taking lunch breaks away from your computer. These very simple acts can completely change your day, your mood, and your ability to do your best work! When the calendar reminder comes up, and you are tempted to finish up “just that one little thing,” remind yourself of this mantra:

“Today I choose me!”

Bio: Zee Clarke, a Harvard MBA, breathwork expert, and author of Black People Breathe (March 14, 2023 / Penguin Random House). After experiencing a number of race related challenges, from racial profiling and harassment by the police to microaggressions in the workplace, she realized that mindfulness and breathwork were much more powerful outside of the yoga studio and in the context of our everyday lives. Trained in India, Zee leverages her toolkit of yoga, meditation, breathwork, sound healing, and Reiki, to ensure that all people of color have the tools to thrive despite any challenges that race, gender, or sexuality might present. 

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Op-Ed: Disillusioned by the 9-5? Entrepreneurship Could Help You Have Greater Impact.

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Leena Bakshi McLean As women who go to work every day with a passion to create change and impact in the world, navigating the workforce can be difficult and often lead to cynicism, burnout, and disillusionment. It’s easy to forget why we took the job in the first place, especially when we get too removed from the impact we’re trying to create. I’ve been there too, and it was my own disillusionment that led me to quit my 9-5 job and try another route.

In fact, entrepreneurship was the tool that allowed me to pursue solutions to a problem I cared deeply about—equitable education—without all the red tape and obstacles associated with working in school districts. If you find yourself feeling discouraged about the impact you’ve had (or haven’t had) at your job perhaps now is the perfect time to also consider another route. These are the steps I took in evaluating my transition from my role as a teacher and an administrator to one of founder and executive director.

Know When It’s Time to Go

Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) education has always been my passion; my mom would say it was ingrained in me as a child when my grandfather would read calculus textbooks instead of literature to me. I started as a Biology, Algebra and Health teacher before becoming a program director for science at a County Office of Education in California. It was the perfect role to work with districts on a holistic level, researching systems change, fostering teacher leadership, and encouraging teams to look at equity within their district programming. I finally had the opportunity to run science programs at the county and state levels. I thought it was my dream job, and it was until I realized that my programs were not serving every student in the county.

I saw so much racism at play in my school district that I couldn’t ignore the ways it directly impacted students and their ability to flourish. The tipping point came while planning a computer science fair for the students at the court and community schools. Several supervisors spoke up about security concerns—they thought we didn’t have enough security to “manage” certain students. They recommended that we un-invite these students to the fair.

When the team I was on spoke up about the drastic inequity and the blatant restriction of access to our students from the court and community schools, we ruffled feathers. Although we were eventually able to allow the students to attend the fair, my colleagues and I were penalized for it by getting passed up for promotions, having our teams separated, and dealing with supervisors doing “cubicle walk-throughs” to police the staff. This is when I knew that politics and power were being prioritized over students. I had to ask myself: will I sit down in compliance or stand up for justice?

As you plan for the year ahead, take stock of what’s keeping you from having the impact you desire at work. Is it a similar situation where politics are at play and the power of a few is being prioritized over the mission? Is that you just have a few roadblocks in your way that a manager could help remove? Is that you’re in the wrong role or on the wrong team? Trace back your disappointment to see if it’s time to make a shift internally or if it really is time to go.

Consider Your Next Step

Despite all this drama behind the scenes, I loved working with every group of students and helping teachers increase access to quality and equitable STEM education. I knew I wanted to stay in my professional field, so I looked for other similar positions to fill the void created by my 9-5 role. However, none of the potential jobs combined STEM and social justice. This was important to me because I would often end up in professional development where the two topics were seen as separate entities in education. I knew combining the two was key to my mission of creating equitable education. When I couldn’t find what I was looking for, I decided to be the first to create it and jumped into entrepreneurship to do so.

So what will your next step be? Perhaps it is simply making the ask of a manager to provide more support and lessen obstacles. Perhaps it’s looking for a new role. Perhaps it’s even approaching the issue you care about from a new angle. For example, if you work for a nonprofit, are there for-profit organizations you could apply to for a different approach?

If you’re completely roadblocked at your current role and no other job fits you or you find yourself compromising your values and passions for a job, then maybe it’s time to take a leap and try entrepreneurship.

Set Up for Impact

If you’re considering entrepreneurship as your next step, welcome aboard! Entrepreneurship has been a difficult journey, but in retrospect, I would not trade this life for anything else. I do what I love with the people I love, and I get to stay true to my values in the meantime.

If you decide the risk is worth the potential impact, you can set yourself up for impact with the following steps:

  • Strengthen and Reinforce Your Vision: When you find yourself at a crossroads where you have a vision and you want to make a change, and you can’t do it in your own context or another organization, I recommend “dreamstorming” what it would take to carry out this vision. That’s how STEM4Real started: as a vision that is now an educational movement, making STEM #4Real for each student.
  • Own Your Voice: Once you have your vision, you’ll need a strong and distinct voice to share it. Whether it’s online and in marketing materials, in sales meetings, or at networking events, you want to be able to share your vision consistently and with conviction.
  • Seek Other Values-Aligned Organizations in Your Field: I am so inspired by the work we see from our partners, fellow organizations, and other entrepreneurs. Seek out other people and groups who are doing similar work, guided by values that match yours. That community and connection will be invaluable.

Going at it “alone” or from the outside isn’t always easy. But if you’ve tried the traditional 9-5 path and haven’t been able to create the impact you want, consider this your invitation to weigh the possibility of entrepreneurship as the path to impact.

By: Dr. Leena Bakshi McLean is the founder of STEM4Real, a nonprofit professional learning organization committed to combining STEM and NGSS standards-based content learning and leadership with principles of equity and social justice. She is a former county and state-level administrator and mathematics, science and health teacher with research interests in Science/STEM education and figuring out how to create access and opportunities for each and every student regardless of race, ethnicity, religion or socioeconomic status.

(The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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Five Actions to Take to Manage Your Career Better in 2023

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Nicki GilmourSo far, this decade has been a rollercoaster for professional women. Everyone has been inundated with large amounts of work to get through, while all sorts of moving targets and complex constraints to deal with just keep coming. A potential hit to the economy looms as the usual cyclical market downbeat slides to recession with layoffs already starting. Dovetail this with almost everyone having a really long, hard think about their values over the past couple of years, and the unanimous request from all workers in every survey ever done to have more flexibility, we should be set up for the most interesting years to come on the topic of work, career and what is professionalism.

Normally we write a year-end review piece, which we have written for the past fifteen years, detailing progress for professional women and examining trends that matter, and it was implicitly assumed that progress on parity had to be linear. Now we know the real issue is overwork and outdated ways of working for all. Perhaps this is what changed the game for us here at theglasshammer as we realized that battling an old system, and defining ourselves and our success by the standards of that system, is not the only way to look at it with the latest UN women report stating unsurprisingly that the goal of gender equality is not on track to happen by 2030.

The glass ceiling is still there for all the legacy and structural reasons we know about, but overwhelmingly people have been open about multiple realities and having multidimensional lives. Assimilation, sacrifice and silence is not trending right now and in a study conducted on work identity by Kathryn Boyle at the Glasgow Caledonian University (UK), Gen Y are not feeling like their narrative arc in their career has to be as cohesive as others did in Gen X and Boomer generations. This means the career ladder which we have written about extensively is somewhat less powerful a construct than it has ever been, and the ceiling, or rather the structures and rules that held the game together, are being replaced with people choosing to leave to play other games or ignoring the rules entirely. The lattice is where most of us find ourselves.

What Do Future Leaders Want?

What Gen Z want from their managers most of all is a positive attitude and a clear delineation of goals while millennials want open communication and feedback, followed by goal clarity according to a recent study at Berkeley Haas School of Business, University of California. Jarringly, the same study suggests Gen X managers are not really prepared to play ball in this way with only 33% ready and willing to give feedback with a positive attitude. There is a disconnect that should be addressed by savvy managers who want to liberate and empower so people can innovate. And this disconnect will only be accentuated by companies not setting managers up for success operationally in the hybrid environment.

Regardless of ambition levels, ability and willingness to work long hours, professional women and men want work to work for them – they want flexibility and a lattice approach to work, or even for work to not be all-consuming as professional careers in banking, law and executive life has previously been known for. The physical and psychological boundaries we once knew such as going to the office on a train five days per week is less desirable than ever as seen in the endless studies citing hybrid as the preferred format for the future. It doesn’t mean productivity is down or that people aren’t passionate about their work or career, it just means that we have arrived at a time where smart bosses know that trust is the social currency and that removing organizational grind and tasks that don’t belong to the team is the key to a happy and high functioning workforce.

Here are Five Things for You to Do for the Best Career Results in 2023
  1. Leave the anxiety and worry at the door. While there are serious swirls inside companies and in the external marketplace, it is ok to just control what you can. Start by understanding what exactly your responsibilities are in your role and then try to align your ability to execute on them as closely as you can – resources, authority, budgets, for example. Avoid perfectionism and over-responsibility tendencies where you think you are responsible for all outcomes or other people’s happiness or success. Thirdly, examine your relationship with uncertainty and figure out how to get comfortable with ambiguity as this year coming promises plenty of that.
  2. Get an executive coach. Advice on its own means nothing as its abstract and subjective. A good coach will help you understand yourself and your behaviors in context of what is going on around you. Think growth, think development. Coaching is one of those industries where there is a low bar to entry so pick your coach wisely as you should be able to have a chemistry meeting with your coach to make sure you can vet them for the value that they will add to your present goals and challenges. There are career coaches and there are executive coaches. Mentors, sponsors and consultants are different from a coach as a mentor will share their advice from their perspective and a sponsor will advocate for you. A coach will evoke your highest thinking and help you build muscle around goal achievement, strategic insight and co create behaviorial toolkits to deploy live time in meetings and work situations. It helps if your coach has a background in organizational development or industrial psychology as context does matter. A coach that gives you advice only is a bad coach.
  3. Read these three books in 2023 that will help you in your career- no matter where you are at. Herminia Ibarra’s Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader which will help you refresh you do your job with new insights, consider what your next job could look like and generally challenge everything you thought you knew about being competent and how that is enough. My second favorite book to recommend is Kegan and Lahey’s Immunity to Change which is academic to read but really is powerful for anyone wrestling with fear, shame or imposter syndrome – it is a user friendly book to clear the debris to really achieve your career goals behaviorally. And finally, I reccommend Kolb and Williams’ Everyday Negotiation as a must-read for anyone who thinks how did that person get the upper hand in that conversation? This book explores how to operate in everyday conversations at work. If you cannot read the whole book, start with the HBR article as it is a great way to understand how to navigate the power dynamics that exist in any work relationship. There has been an updated article discussing negotiating as a women of color to read on HBR this year.
  4. Network and mean it. Find people who can help you and you can help in return. Be sincere in your offer for help. Make it personal. No one likes an endless taker, and no one has time to do the work for you. Know your value in the exchange!
  5. Be authentic, and at the same time, seek advice that inspires you to be the best version of you. Use the sites like this one, and others like landit.com, fairygodboss.com and the muse as well as elevate to garner specific career advice for women in the workplace. Look for other sincere people as there are many false prophets and dead poets in this gender space taking your money for something that you already have.

Here at theglasshammer.com we have spent 15 years deeply covering the topic of advancing, empowering, informing and inspiring professional women and with 8000 articles in our archives, we encourage you to delve in and read any that might be useful to you. We have profiled over 1000 amazing women. We have coached rising stars as well as the best in the business to be even better leaders.

In 2023, we will continue to have our digital campfire for women who are change leaders to tell their story around. We want to profile creators and leaders who understand that the future is a vision that can be reached with the right focus. Our main offering is leadership coaching so if you wish to go from mid-level to senior level, or even are very close to the top and need an extra piece of work to polish and refine your behaviors, then book an exploratory chemistry session here with Nicki Gilmour – our founder, and executive and organizational coach.

By Nicki Gilmour, Founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com

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2022: Words of Wisdom from Diverse Women Leaders

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diverse women leadersFor over 15 years so far, we’ve had the opportunity to interview a diverse range of women leaders who are overcoming barriers, charting new territories and elevating their impact. Each woman is generous enough to sit with us and share her story to empower and inspire other women. At The Glass Hammer, we feel visibility matters – and it’s our honor to amplify the voices of women who are raising the ceiling on possibilities in their own lives and our world. Again and again, we hear about the importance of role models in enhancing our vision of what is possible. 

Looking across our leader profiles during 2022, we share a few words of wisdom and inspiration from each woman we’ve talked to so far this year. Thank you for the gift of your energy, time and insight!

“One of the key attributes of a great leader is authenticity, therefore I refuse to have separate work and home life personalities. I believe it is time to change the message that women, or indeed anyone, needs to adjust their personalities to fit with the corporate world.” – Charlene Kennedy: CEO, PGIM Private Capital (Ireland)

“What you will often hear is leaders defending their intent: ‘So are you saying that we discriminate? Are you saying that we aren’t fair?’ But the opportunity is if we can recognize that despite our best intentions, our decisions sometimes have impacts that we don’t intend. It’s important to be curious about the cumulative impacts of individual decisions, along with organizational systems and policies.” – Betsy Bagley: Co-Founder and Director, Pulsely

“I used to hate feedback, but I think feedback and constructive criticism is so important. You may have really good intentions and just not know you’re doing something that isn’t working for you. The feedback may be really hard to hear and digest, but sometimes it comes from a great place. Even if you may not agree, it’s good to hear it.” – Jessica Titlebaum Darmoni: Senior Manager, Head of Marketing, ErisX

“I’ve become more conscious of my own energy as I’ve become older, and that it’s always flowing in me, but you can also learn to use it and channel it. If I’ve got to get a team going, I really think about bringing that energy to the table… The biggest thing you can do to be successful is to be yourself and not listen to the detractors. Just let your light shine.” – Rachael Sansom: Managing Director, Red Havas UK

“You’ve got to remain true to yourself, because there are enough people telling you what you can’t do. I will always tell you what you can do. We’re going to make change together, but you have to be true to yourself. You have to be authentic. If you’re not, what’s the point?” – Brandi Boatner: Manager, Digital & Advocacy Communications, IBM

“Actively asking how others are feeling not only makes them feel more part of the team, but also establishes a level of trust and morale that makes everyone perform better. Being aware of how everyone else is feeling helps form a cohesive team because at the end of the day, we’re all working towards the same goal. If one person is having an off day, that’s going to impact the whole team. Knowing how to rally around and motivate that person not only helps the individual but brings the whole team closer together.” – Mariah Turner: Associate, PGIM Private Capital

“As you arrive to a real senior level, you will start to understand that people are going to have a hard time disagreeing with you. They tend to give you filtered information. If you know that, you can be much more deliberate and intentional in terms of how you ask questions, to make sure that you’re getting the real story and understanding different perspectives.” – Geline Midouin: Chief People Officer, Shearman & Sterling LLP

“It’s important to be able to trust and communicate to your leaders: here’s what I need from you and what I need you to help me with. That has made the difference for me in my career. And that is not wisdom that one must wait until they are well into their careers to acquire anymore. Remember, what I said at the outset of this interview, the world is different now, and leadership looks different.” – Pamela Peace: Principal & North America Client Management, PGIM Fixed Income

“First, you need to be able to identify it: I’m having a feeling. Then you need to name the feeling and ask yourself: What is driving that feeling and is it worthy of speaking up for? Then you ultimately need the self-confidence to speak up, be potentially willing to engage in a disagreement, and simply not question it too much. The more you question it, the more likely you are to miss the appropriate moment to say something, or to lose the feeling entirely. As you move through life, your gut instinct is one thing that stays with you, no matter what you choose.” – Erica Klinkowize: CBNA Treasurer, Citi

“In times of uncertainty, the focus has shifted from seeking answers to raising questions and building relationships to lead through the unknown… The circumstances of the last two years have made me a different leader. I had to take a step back and ask: what did I do in this time? And take the necessary steps to hopefully be proud of the answer.” – Danielle Arnone: Chief Digital & Technology Officer, Combe

“Figure out who can help. You cannot be a master of everything, nor should you be. Get a distributed style of management to get further, faster. Ask yourself who do I know and what do I need to learn?” – Bessie Kokalis Pescio: Vice President, Global Internal Communications, Philip Morris International

“I spent ten years in nursing. But there’s an expression in this part of the country that people are ‘called to preach.’ They have a burden to preach, meaning they can’t not do it. Well, in my case, I felt called to medicine. I had a burden to be a doctor and it would not go away… we never know how much time we’ve got on this planet, so I really don’t want to go to my grave without having tried to do what I felt I was called to.” – Dr. Sarah Carrier, MD: Emergency Physician, JH Quillen VA Medical Center

“Don’t just assume that people know what you want. You need to make sure that your managers and your stakeholders know that you are interested in other opportunities. Don’t be scared to let them know. It’s not like you’re going to be fired because you’re driven and want to move and grow.” – Jessica Jones: Managing Director, Head of Asia, PGIM Investments

“Earlier in my career, I thought I had to be the one with the voice. Now, I realize what I have to do is give or encourage or support the voices that have the information required, not always be the voice. That’s the muscle you develop with maturity and by realizing the amazing contributions that many voices bring to a conversation. That’s the muscle you develop when you embrace the diversity of thinking in a team to drive forward.“ – Renee Connolly: Chief Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Officer, Merck KGaA, Darmstadt, Germany

The transition over your career is toward managing up, and ensuring that you get what you need… I really have come to see the importance of don’t take on too much and do fewer things better, both of which I pass on to women just starting their career.” – Kate Kenner Archibald: Chief Marketing Officer, Dash Hudson

“I found a different lease on my otherness. I can’t chase everybody’s projection of me, but the more I recognize the uniqueness of my own experience, the more I feel I have to offer… One of the things now running through my veins is the knowing that what makes me connect with people is the ways in which we are similar, what intrigues and draws me to people is the ways in which we are different.” – Elena Kim: VP Business Development, TV/OTT at Global Music Rights

“The truth is, if I can be loving and patient, and approach whatever comes my way with compassion, everything will fall into place. Being a good lawyer, a good colleague, a good mother, a good partner, a good daughter – it all starts with being a loving person. Approaching things with a loving attitude will make things easier for you.” – Jingjing Liang: Associate, Compensation, Governance & ERISA practice, Shearman & Sterling LLP

“Early in my career, I was more conservative in offering my perspective and spoke only if I had the perfect comment. I’ve realized it’s okay to not always have the right answer or right idea, but it’s important to use your voice. There is power, value and hopefully impact, in sharing diverse perspectives… It doesn’t matter if you’re a junior level person in a room of more seasoned executives, you’ve been given a seat at the table for a reason and it is in the firm’s best interest to encourage and embrace your perspective. You have valuable things to say, so don’t sit in the background. Use your voice, early on.” – Ivy Tsui: Director of Program Management for DE&I, PGIM Real Estate

“I understand the stereotypes or expectations when a woman is in the room — how we’re expected to speak, defend our work, or refrain from speaking in an authoritative way — and I’ve told myself, ‘None of that applies to you, because you weren’t born and raised in this culture, so you’re going to embrace the otherness.’ So, I speak up, respectfully and never rude, but I have to speak.” – Louise Carroll: Partner, Real Estate, Katten

“I like to take complex problems and divide them into simpler ones, and I like to do that very fast. Every single problem, no matter how big, can be dissected, once you understand the root cause. But when you think you know the cause, you have to dig deeper and deeper. Once you have the root cause, everything else gets easier. You can find the paths to resolve the problem.” – Valeria Vitola: Managing Director, Anti-Money Laundering Region Head – Latin America (Except Mexico), Citibank

“When you’re building teams, you always want to be strongly committed to the diversity of your team’s experience and ideas. You don’t want to have uniformity in thought or expertise, as it could challenge disruption and innovation.” – Mary Cassai: Senior Vice President, Perioperative Services, NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital

“Create the greatest, grandest vision possible for your life and career because you become what you believe… Each step of my career taught me meaningful characteristics about myself and helped me make my next leap.” – Rupal Shah: Principal, PGIM Fixed Income

“We need to trust our gut. We know exactly where we see ourselves, but sometimes we’re afraid to share that vision. We just need to move confidently in the pursuit of our dreams. From every setback, we can learn… I’ve become more of an unapologetic Latina who stays optimistic about our future possibilities, but it took me 22 years of going through this journey to realize that it’s my life, it’s my vision, it’s my calling.” – Claudia Vazquez: Founder, elevink

“I love to take the time to get to know individuals: to listen and to avoid assumptions. I think that creates a space where people can be authentic, which leads to new conversations and new opportunities.” – Vanessa Nazario: Corporate Director, Chief Diversity Officer, Memorial Healthcare System

“I draw so much power from all the things that make me different. I used to view it as a disadvantage, but it’s so essential to how I’m able to show up, how effective and efficient I am, and the impact that I’m able to make. I draw from everything, and to have not done that for so many years was a detriment to my performance.…For this moment, while employers are asking you to bring yourself to work, do it. Do it now. Do it today. The hope is that this is a movement, not a moment. But time is of the essence, so do it. It will pay dividends.”- Amber Hairston: Agency Underwriter, PGIM Real Estate

“If you don’t know me and you don’t understand what drives me and what ails me, then how could you truly be in charge of growing me and taking me to the next level?  I think it’s really important as managers that we take the approach of being coaches and changing the relationship from ‘I’m here to manage and make sure you do what you’re supposed to do’ to ‘I’m here to coach you and make sure that you exceed that.’… Most managers feel like I can’t get too close because then I can’t be objective, and I think it’s the opposite. If you’re not close enough, you’re going to miss what’s happening and you’re going to miss opportunities to support people in a way that makes them want to come to work and be part of the community.” – Indhira Arrington: Global Chief Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Officer, Ares Management

“That (Latina) part of my identity and proving myself is impacted by this other part of me that needs to grow and trust other people to do things, even though I don’t have 100% control. Letting go of some of that control has been hard, but I’m working on it. I’ve realized that everyone is an individual, and they’re not all like me, and I have to manage to each person versus to what my personal expectations, approaches, or processes would be.” – Cassandra Cuellar: Partner, Venture Capital, M&A and Capital Markets, Shearman & Sterling LLP

“I enjoyed going into rooms and finding those moments where I’d pipe up with an interesting point of view or a question, and all of a sudden, people would shift around and look at me. So I find it quite empowering. I’ve used the difference to my advantage… I think all of these factors combined meant I didn’t buy into the barrier, and just ignored it, and still today it hasn’t stopped me, because I have a deeper belief that it can happen – at least in the spaces where I’m operating in.” – Sabina Munnelly: Partner, Baringa

“Opportunity only lands on people who seek it. If you want to be sponsored, you need to give people an opportunity to get to know you: what you want to do, what your strengths are, and what challenges you might be facing.” – Ashley Shan: Associate, Finance Group, Shearman & Sterling LLP

“In my experience, a lot of the influence and ability to make changes come from working at the intersection of different disciplines and taking that experience to management and leadership… In technology or in any industry, being able to have that broader aperture allows someone to see more opportunities and navigate better decisions about where they want to go and how to do it to make a broader impact in an organization.” – Joyce Shen: AI investor, board director, author, and data science at UC Berkeley

“You should feel comfortable and confident that you can speak up. You might not say everything perfectly or you might even say something wrong, but that’s okay. Plenty of people will talk and know less than you do… I bring my own unique perspective to the table. Adding my voice may steer the conversation or decision-making in a certain way, or add more nuance to the overall discussion.” – Fiona Cho: COO of Asia-Pacific Region, PGIM Real Estate

Interviewed by Aimee Hansen

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Seven Things about Gut Instinct You Might Not Know

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Gut instinct Gut instinct – that instinctual sense of knowing that does not come from conscious reasoning, also sometimes called intuition – is one aspect of your decision-making that is worth better understanding – including how and when to leverage it. Here are seven things to know about gut instinct.

  1. The gut truly is the “second brain.” – A neural network of 100 million neurons line your digestive tract, evidencing the gut’s processing ability. The gut has more neurons than the spine. It’s not only the stomach that has a brain, but the heart also has neural cells – there’s more to processing than we “think.” According to Sarah Garfinkel, professor and cognitive neuroscientist at University College London, “Instinct is when physiological signals change quickly in response to different stimuli, with or without the conscious awareness of the properties of those stimuli. A capacity to tap into and be guided by those signals gives us a route to gut instinct, which bypasses higher-order awareness mechanisms that don’t yet have access to that information.”
  2. Gut instinct is not a mind “or” body thing, and it’s complicated. – When considering a decision, the brain works in tandem with the gut, making intuition a mix of emotional and experiential data as the brain accesses memories, preferences, needs, past learnings and more. The mind-body dualistic idea that suggests mind and body responses are separate has long been disproven. They are interrelated. We feel in the body the result of cognitive processing happening in the brain. As a predictive processing network, the brain seeks to quickly compare sensory information with past experience, knowledge and memories, sending signals to the gut. These rapid assessments are subject to error, due to things like confirmation bias where we scramble to see what we already believe true or when we impose past circumstances upon a current situation and perceive danger.
  3. Gut instinct is often a valuable part of decision-making. Partnering gut feelings with analytical thinking leads to better, faster, and more accurate decisions and increases the confidence behind your choices – especially when there is no “correct” and clear-cut option and you’re overthinking. The majority of top executives report that they leverage feelings when managing crises. Women often speak to The Glass Hammer about their ability to read the room as way of informing how they approach a meeting or having gut instinct around an idea that comes up. And when, for example, you are in a familiar setting or with a familiar person, your intuition can pick up subtle cues that something is off or amiss by noticing indicators that are not usually present. It can also guide you against making a wrong choice that presents unnecessary risk. Without gut instinct, and a sensitivity to somatic cues, we can fall into analysis paralysis.
  4. Gut instinct is NOT such a good indicator for decision-making at other times – such as in hiring and recruitment. A clear example for where gut instinct should not be trusted in decision making is in hiring and recruitment, when guts instincts (fast thinking) around the “right candidate” and “culture fit” or “likability” are usually just unconscious bias (such as affinity bias, anchoring bias) – especially related to race, disability, gender and sex. Within seconds of hearing speech, Yale found that we make snap perceptions on social class (based on speech patterns such as pronunciation), competence and pay package. We also like people who are like us in tone, body movements and word choices – and the things we like cast a positive halo over the rest of the interview. Assessments from unstructured and organic interviews, where managers go with their gut, have very poor correlation with job effectiveness and finding the most qualified candidate, because unconscious bias is rife and gut instinct is often rationalized.
  5. The quality of gut instinct is interrelated to emotional intelligence. Research has shown that people with lower EI tend to misread their own bodily signal and somatic cues, misinterpreting the warnings of intuition that would normally guide us against bad risk-taking and decision making. But just as emotional intelligence can be strengthened through intentional training, as we become more sensitive to our ability to read and discern different emotions, where they are coming from and how they influence us, so can we develop our gut instinct. Discerning fear from intuition is an important part of honing our ability to use gut instinct in decision making, as these can often be confused. People who are highly sensitive – and perceive, process, and synthesize information more deeply – often have stronger intuition but may also have learned to distrust and invalidate this strength. Like a muscle, intuition can be built up. Practicing using it through fast, decisive actions on relatively inconsequential matters to build up trust and your ability to emotional regulate through discomfort. By role-playing the outcomes of different decisions, you can also see if your intuitive-based decisions would be aligned with your highest values on the other side.
  6. Distraction from overthinking helps our intuition to weigh in on decisions. When processing a lot of complex and difficult to remember information around a big decision, the tendency can be to painfully overthink – going between all the pros and cons – or to make a snap decision to escape the pain of indecision. But research has found that there’s a value in allowing our minds to wander in unrelated activity, as the unconscious mind helps to sort through the seeds. Participants who were distracted by an unrelated activity after being presented with a bunch of information about a decision made better (and more intuitive led) objective choices than those who consciously weighed up options before making a final decision. Overthinking in a strictly analytical way can muddy your judgement. But in the pause, the unconscious mind can help to surface the gist from the information overload and improve the accuracy of intuitive judgement.
  7. Timing and context is critical and most people don’t know when to use their gut instinct. Because it’s intertwined with many other rapid processes happening in the brain (triggering, bias, memory), it’s critical to assess when to rely on gut instinct in decision-making and when not to, and most business leaders do not know the difference – not only that, but it’s the same for most doctors, therapists and other kinds of professionals.

All in all, gut instinct is a valuable aspect of processing that is bound to contribute it’s voice into your decision-making, whether you are going with it, weighing it up or fighting against it. The more you can learn about gut instinct, the more you’ll be equipped as a leader to use it – and not use it – wisely.

By Aimee Hansen

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Women in Tech: Five Interventions to Develop and Keep Your Talent

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While attracting women (back) to tech has been an ongoing theme across the industry, promoting and retaining the valuable women that get through the door is also critical.

Here are five key interventions that leaders in tech and organizations can do to develop and hold onto valuable female talent.

1) Tap a Broader Talent Pool and Recruit Returners

On the hiring front, Deloitte recommends that companies extend to a broader talent pool with “work from anywhere” models as well as recruit from overlooked sub-segments such as women who are returning to work or transitioning from other industries and upskilling career-switchers and those with resume gaps. BCG also recommends that tech organizations carve various pathways to leadership such as returnships that gradually reintegrate returning women into the workplace, to leverage this experienced talent for mid-level and senior-level positions.

2) Link Tech Opportunities to Purpose and Influence

Research has shown that women stay around for enjoyable work that they can fit in with other areas of their lives and that gives them opportunities to make a difference. Tying tech roles more closely to the impact they make in our world will drive appeal and job satisfaction.

As tech trailblazer Joyce Shen recently told The Glass Hammer, women who may not think of tech as a career option or career twist might want to reconsider: “There tends to be two main paths in technology careers in conventional thinking. One path is a purely technical path, often as an individual contributor as well as a super-doer. But there is another path where people get into more of the operational and business side, around product management and distribution as well as considering emerging topics such as ethics, fairness, governance in technology and especially in AI and machine learning. There is also a lot of opportunity to get into highly critical technology areas such as cybersecurity. In my experience, a lot of the influence and ability to make changes come from working at the intersection of different disciplines and taking that experience to management and leadership.”

3) Address Early Promotions (first five years) in Tech

McKinsey argues that companies need to address equitable advancement in early promotions. Whereas generally, 86 women are promoted to manager for every 100 men promoted, in tech it plummets to 52 women promoted to manager for every 100 men. Women hold only 34% of entry-level engineering and product roles in tech (versus 48% generally) and just 26% of first-level manager positions in tech (versus 41% generally).

Early promotions are the most critical to future success. McKinsey found that companies which have a more systemic approach to promoting women in tech roles are creating more diverse, inclusive and better performing workplaces by:

  • Providing more equitable access to training, projects and resources to accelerate skill building for women in technical roles. This means more structured guidance on career development and a formalized professional-development process including mentorship and formal sponsorship, and more opportunities to build a broad range of skills and work on higher visibility projects.
  • Implementing a highly structured approach to early promotions. Per Ipsos research, only 1/3 of women in tech felt support was in place for promotion and only 1/5 felt processes for promotion were in place. A structured approach includes clear and transparent systems, well-defined criteria for each role and level, accountability and clear bars for when promotion should be anticipated. It also includes employee-manager check-ins as to whether the right access to projects and skills are being provided to advance, and senior leader check-ins when individuals aren’t advancing at expected timelines.
  • Connecting early-tenure women with competent managers, mentors, and sponsors. Connecting senior colleagues with hires early in their careers can help catalyze their development. It also means investing early in the training and development of tech junior managers since they are in the coaching seat for entry-level talent.
4)  Address and Mitigate Bias In All Aspects of Talent Development

Men in tech (67%) feel more comfortable than women (52%) to ask for a promotion – with 39% of women saying gender bias is the reason for not receiving one. Korn Ferry offers up that women don’t lack belief in their abilities but how they will fair in the assessment process. Removing unconscious bias at the level of hiring and throughout promotion processes, with clear and visible data to illustrate target areas and impact, is critical in tech.

One of the top three motivators for women in tech is development, but they report lacking the same opportunities as their male peers – and 2/3 don’t see a clear path forward in their company. In additional to clear and structured career paths, tech companies need formal mentorship and sponsorship programs to even the playing field so women can advance. According to Ipsos, 57% of UK tech women said mentorship and sponsorship would attract them to a company, but only one in five women felt they had access to sponsorship. Importantly, 55% of those who did felt it has greatly benefited their career.

BCG recommends, as the remote workplace has eased some of the obstacles to influence for midlevel women, tech firms could take heed and structure meetings to give all voices equal opportunity to contribute. Also making sure the frequency and value of manager-employee interactions are not being driven by affinity bias, and that mentorship and sponsorship are operational (and equitable) in the hybrid world.

5) Promote Well-Being Among Tech Women

A March 2022 study among IT professionals in 33 countries showed women (69%) were likelier to report feeling “run drown and drained of physical and emotional energy” than men (56%), and were more at high burnout risk (46% versus 38%).

Korn Ferry points out that burnout is driving the great resignation, especially for women. Tech companies need to be aware that hybrid working is part of both the problem and the solution. Promoting work-life separation and balance in tangible ways is important. Allowing for sabbaticals and extra paid leave can help returners to come back refreshed and more impactful. Embody a culture of inclusion for women.

Women who enter into tech roles of any kind have already crossed a hurdle by claiming their own belonging despite cultural messaging. Savvy organizations will make sure to reflect that belonging back to them in tangible and visible ways.

By Aimee Hansen

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