OP-Ed: 9 Ways Working Moms Can Successfully Work From Home with Their Children Present

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working momsWith the pandemic (hopefully) coming to an end and corporations getting back to business as usual, many U.S. workers (including working moms) aren’t quite sure they want to head back to the office in person, at least not full-time. Instead, some experts predict a Great Resignation is on the horizon, with many U.S. employees indicating they’d rather quit their jobs than go back to in-person office life as they knew it pre-COVID-19.

If you’re a working parent considering making your home your new permanent workplace, you’re bound to have some moments when your work and home life intersect. While it’s ideal to have your kids in child care or to have someone present and watching your kids while you work, sick days and school holidays will likely mean you’ll need to simultaneously juggle caring for your kids and caring for your work obligations at least some of the time this coming year. Here’s how to handle working from home with your kids present long or short term.

1.     Set Expectations. First, set expectations with your kids about the day’s activities and what you are doing and why. Ask them for what you need and explain the boundaries.

2.     Distract Wisely. Give them age-appropriate distractions; it can be helpful to only allow screen time at these moments to keep their attention longer. Have a reward system in place to reinforce good behavior.

3.     Plan Ahead. Try to set up calls on days or times your kids aren’t there or during normal nap times. Perhaps arrange for grandma or grandpa to stop by right before your call and read a favorite book to your child. Or ensure your calls are with another understanding parent if your kids are present. If you expect your kids to interrupt you, proactively let the person on the phone know in advance that it may happen, and explain the situation and how you’ll handle it.

Concentrate on your highest priority work to-dos and those that require the most intense level of attention first. Start your day before your children wake up. This valuable time will be free of interruptions and will have your full attention. If you only have time to work on a few things, make sure they’re the ones you really care about or that really need to get done.

4.     Get Active Early. Depending on your schedule, play with your kids early in the day. Kids hate waiting, especially for our attention. Instead of making them more and more frustrated as you make just 1 more conference call, give them the attention they need at the start of the day and get them moving with fresh air and exercise, if possible, early on. Take a walk outside with your kids first thing in the morning when you wake up. When you finally do need to sit down and hammer out a few tasks, they won’t be so antsy, and you’ll be able to fully concentrate.

5.     Think Outside the Box. Consider an alternative schedule, especially if you have a partner who is also working from home. Mom may take the 6:00 am to 2:00 pm shift with the kids, then “go to work” in her home office, and dad works 2:00 to 8:00 pm. Or divide up the day. Think about working in 2-hour shifts, switching off with your partner or another caregiver.

6.     Consider Your Space. Designate areas of your home for specific tasks, and create visual cues that let your kids know you’re off-limits while you’re in those spaces. Your garage, the basement, a bedroom — these can all serve as work areas. When you physically separate from your kids and take yourself out of their line of vision, you’re less distracted, and your kids are less confused about your accessibility. As the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.” A red stop sign or a cutout of a hand on your office door is a clear indicator even to young children that work is in session and reinforces that you’re not available at the moment.

7.     Create Structure. Set your kids up for success during important meetings by creating structure. For preschool and elementary children, set up interesting activity centers in their playroom with model clay, craft paper and markers, or books they can interact with while you’re away for a short time. For older children, make a list of 10 activities they can do when they feel bored and put it on the refrigerator as a reminder for the times you’re off-limits. Use times you’re completely off-limits to have them dedicate effort to traditional schoolwork or online learning.

8.   Feed the Beast. Plan ahead for food needs. Cut up fruits and vegetables in advance and put them into containers labeled “Meeting Snacks.” Make mini quesadillas with protein and veggies, cut them into triangles, and set them out right before your meeting starts. For older kids, set out ingredients for sandwiches or salad before you head into a session with a client or coworker so it’s easy for them to put together a snack while you’re away.

9.     Be Honest. Be transparent with your business partners about the fact your kids are in the home with you. The more honest we are about how our home and work lives intersect, the more we normalize that experience for others, and, ultimately, push employers toward considering our whole-person needs as they create policies and culture.

Above all, give yourself grace. Accept that when you’re trying to do two jobs simultaneously, you’re bound to sometimes be less than perfect at both of them. Take breaks with and without your kids. Definitely don’t add even more to your proverbial plate — the errands, the vacuuming, that toothpaste you still need to buy — it can all wait. And, remember, if you eventually find yourself longing for a little more separation between your work and home life, that’s okay, too.

Whitney Casares, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., is the author of The Working Mom Blueprint: Winning at Parenting Without Losing Yourself. She is the Founder and CEO of Modern Mommy Doc and host of The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast.

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Three Ways to Move Into The Self-Care of Thriving

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Self-CareAs we hit the midpoint of the year and get into summer, let’s take a break from going through the motions to re-evaluate and practice self-care: what do you need to do for yourself to restore and regenerate?

Too much of self-care talk focuses on topping up the energy you have depleted so you can survive the daily grind. Self-care is not really about getting by, but committing to yourself and your authenticity so you can thrive.

Prioritizing self-care is about restoring your energy and your connection within, so that life becomes more energy-generative.

Here are three ways to practice self-care so you can feel more alive in your skin:

1. Get Back Into Relationship With Your Body

How often have you overrode your body’s messages – be it forgoing rest, healthy food or physical activity – while striving to do everything else that seemed ‘more important’? Women are especially prone to burnout at work and the long hours game has a disproportionally damaging effect on women’s health.

Overvaluing the mental urge towards productivity while disconnecting from our physical bodies moves us away from health and the feminine wisdom of our bodies. When you lose intimacy with your body, you lose the ability to access gut feelings, intuition and valuable emotional guidance.

As Stephen Covey would put it in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, you also make the mistake of prioritizing production at the expense of nurturing your production capability, which is only good for short-terms external wins but ultimately exhausts your ability to show up, especially for yourself.

This summer, really get into your body. Not just as a means to another end, such as running off the stress or shedding pounds. And don’t just recharge your body: you were not born to be a battery. Moving your body is not the same as being in a listening relationship with your body. Instead, re-attune to your body. Restore the connection with self, starting here.

Consider a yin yoga class, a restorative yoga class or perhaps 5 rhythms dance. Or let the sun pour in through your skin for twenty minutes. Do something new or slow or fast that brings your awareness back to the simplicity of your ‘being’ and the innate guidance of your body.

Your ‘doing’ will only benefit from bringing it into balance with your ‘being.’

2. Experience “Immersive” Time

“We wake up in the morning and we say, ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.’ And we hit the pillow saying, ‘I didn’t get enough done,’” says Brené Brown.

We conduct our busy work lives in linear time, which helps gives rise to the cultural narrative of scarcity, and the persistent feeling that you can never do enough. But the one-way march of time is just one left-brained frame for experience where we often end up “hustling for our worth,” as Brown puts it.

The seasons of nature and the physiology of the female reproductive body reveal the right-brained frame of cyclical time. What psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes as a state of Flow and the Greeks called kairos is yet another experience of time that is alive, creative, connected and synergistic.

“Chronos is clocks, deadlines, watches, calendars, agendas, planners, schedules, beepers…Kairos is transcendence, infinity, reverence, joy, passion, love, the Sacred… We exist in chronos. We long for kairos. That’s our duality,” writes Sarah Ban Breathnach, in her NYT bestseller Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. “Chronos requires speed so that it won’t be wasted. Kairos requires space so that it might be savored. We do in chronos. In kairos we’re allowed to be. It takes only a moment to cross over from chronos into kairos, but it does take a moment. All that kairos asks is our willingness to stop running long enough to hear the music of the spheres.”

This summer, drop into immersive time more often. A key quality is that the experience of presence and participation themselves are the reward of this time, not the result.

Perhaps it’s getting lost in adventures with your family or a deep conversation. Perhaps it’s a long walk or drive in nature. Reading a book. Cooking a homemade meal. Dancing or painting or writing or meditation or playing an instrument. Whatever activity makes you forget both yourself and the world because you are so inside of it, that’s the gold.

In a feminine sense of creativity, we do not forgo self-care in order to labor ‘at all costs’ for what is, relative to our health, an abstract outcome. We value and care for ourselves throughout the process as the experience is the creation. Tapping into immersive time increase your well-being, your creativity and your productivity, too.

3. Rediscover How To Use Your “No”

Halfway through the year is a good time to step back and ask where your time and energy is going and whether it’s adding up to create fulfilling meaning for you, rather than just ticking off your list or other’s needs.

As in Covey’s famous time management matrix, are you steadily putting energy and resource into the Quadrant 2 area of “not urgent but important” in your life? This is often the hardest area to devote yourself to when life pulls from all directions, so take a break to get an overview of your energy investment relative to your real values and desires.

More than ever, our energy is susceptible to be whittled away by low importance matters of false urgency, as 24/7 responsiveness and social media addiction has become normalized. Look at the hours you’ve spent on the phone in a day and ask if you deposited anything in the investment bank of your heart? How much was truly connection and how much was distraction?

When our commitments, as demonstrated by habit, are not aligned with our values-based desires, we begin to feel the pain of disconnection with self.

Realignment of energy with values is going to require emotional attuning.

One question that can be useful is to ask: What is the one thing I am getting angry/resentful for not doing? If you’re giving all your energy away except to the thing that’s really important to you, you will begin to feel like the world is crashing in on your personal boundaries. Now, how can you choose time to prioritize what you yearn for? Can you let discipline come from love?

As part of trauma exploration, Gabor Maté, M.D. talks about how most of us ‘wisely’ adapted to give up our authenticity for attachment as children. But when we continue to forgo our authentic needs, due to the stories and guilt we’ve cultivated, it causes stress, suffering and disease. He asserts that if you can’t say ‘no’, your body will.

According to Maté, women have a harder time saying no and suffer the health consequences. One essential step in self-care, and restoring your authenticity, is relearning how to give an authentic ‘no’ – whether in work or personal life.

Maté suggests to ask the following questions around saying ‘no’:

  • Where in my life do I have difficulty saying no?
  • What story did I tell myself about why I couldn’t say no?
  • Is that story really true?
  • What is the impact on myself when I don’t say no?
Thrive, Not Survive

This summer, think about self-care not as a way to survive the grind of your life, but to step a little further into thrive, whatever that authentically means for you!

By: Aimee Hansen

Note: We are taking a publishing break and our own advice and we will see you on Monday 12th July, and remember we have over 5000 articles to read in the archives if you are missing our cutting edge career insights!

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5 Ways To Become a Better LGBTQ+ Ally

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LGBTQ+ allyBeing an LGBTQ+ ally is being an advocate for, and active participant in, building cultural inclusion.

According to Fast Company, “Allyship refers to everyday acts which challenge behavioral norms and support members of marginalized groups through an awareness of the issues being faced by others.”

A team of professors in Harvard Business Review view “allyship” as: “a strategic mechanism used by individuals to become collaborators, accomplices, and coconspirators who fight injustice and promote equity in the workplace through supportive personal relationships and public acts of sponsorship and advocacy. Allies endeavor to drive systemic improvements to workplace policies, practices, and culture.”

Here are five ways to be an accomplice in creating cultural inclusion:

1. Cultivate Awareness and Empathy.

A lot of advice for being a better ally focuses on self-education. But what is the objective of that? Cultivating awareness and empathy.

A prerequisite of support is cultivating awareness of realities and painful disadvantages that you do not have direct experience of: becoming aware of the bias and discrimination and understanding why it causes harm. The absence of having to experience that reality is what we call ‘privilege’.

Allyship requires a willingness to open your eyes and place yourself in another’s shoes as they tell you how that experience exists for them through their eyes.

In their March 2020 survey of 2,000 LGBTQ+ employees and 2,000 straight employees, in partnership with NYC LGBT Community Center, Boston Consulting Group (BCG) found an interesting insight.

Natural allyship is on the rise, because the separation between young LGBTQ people and their straight peers is more narrow. Compared to their older counterparts, straight employees under 35 are 1.6 times more likely to know LGBTQ colleagues, 3.6 times more likely to join ally programs and 3 times more likely to find value in colleagues being ‘out’.

The younger the employee group, the greater the awareness of discrimination. For example, only one-fourth of straight 55-64 year olds witnessed any discrimination in the past year, compared to 57% of their LGBTQ+ peers. But 85% of straight 18-24 year olds witnessed it, much closer to the 91% of LGBTQ+ who also did.

That change reflects a much smaller gap and increased sensitivity in the ability to see certain behaviors as harmful to certain groups, even if you do not belong to the group.

By expanding your exposure to the stories of others, whether through personal connection, documentaries, books or following LGBTQ+ leaders and media, you increase your awareness of the nuances of discrimination and build empathy. Start here: Are you aware of the common microaggressions that LGBTQ+ people experience?

2. Recognize Identity As Personally Defined and Fluid.

As theglasshammer covered recently, social identity is increasingly becoming more personal, intersectional, fluid and multiple. But more than anything, identity is increasingly self-identified. The myriad range of LGBTQ+ experiences are far from universal.

It’s important to realize that language matters, and not make assumptions about the identity or orientation of another person or about what that belonging means for them.

By allowing others to tell you about themselves through their voice, rather than make assumptions, you remain curious and allow others to find their authenticity. An inside-out connection that begins with the internal connection with self, and interacting with others and the world from the space of that inner truthfulness, is the basis of authenticity.

Being conscious of your own language helps to avoid making assumptions, such as using gender-neutral terms like ‘partner’. Honoring a person’s self-identity includes observing the personal pronouns that people choose for themselves and normalizing that choice.

Certain short-cut assumptions are well-conditioned in our brains, so it takes effort to not make those automatic leaps. But when it comes to another person’s life, it’s far more connective to show up by listening to them before you assert assumptions about who they are.

3. Embrace The Growth in Discomfort.

“Allyship is not knowing it all and never making mistakes. That’s impossible,” writes Freddy McConnell, host of Pride & Joy BBC podcast. “It’s putting in the effort and not expecting trophies.”

Allyship requires vulnerability, because you’re going to be clumsy at times. As McConnell writes: “When my friend came out to me as nonbinary, I practised their pronouns in private. Being trans does not imbue me with a special gift for unlearning familiar speech patterns.”

It’s not about getting it right or wrong, but about being open to learning. Before we challenge any unconscious bias, stereotypes or assumptions in the culture around us, we often foremost come to confront the existence of them within ourselves, even as part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Often the roots of rejection (of others and self-rejection) are shame-based beliefs and conditioning. Evolving involves unlearning that cultural conditioning, including the habit to shame ourselves if we get it wrong.

A willingness to be wrong, admit when you’re wrong, own your mistake and be receptive to guidance is what is valuable to a growth mindset and to keeping the focus on your intention of better allyship.

“Allyship is actually more about the mistakes than the things that you do right,” says human rights advocate Maybe Burke, who conducts allyship training on behalf of the Transgender Training Institute. “It’s about how you deal with those mistakes and move forward.”

4. Treat Ally as a Verb.

As suggested in a University College London (UCL) blog: “Think of ‘ally’ as an action rather than a label.” Being an ally is not about whether you consider yourself as an ally, but how you show up in support consistently.

In their research, BCG found that only 34% of straight employees always intervene when they see an encounter. As written in HBR: “When you witness discrimination, don’t approach the victim later to offer sympathy. Give him or her your support in the moment.”

Remaining silent is a comfortable form of passive collusion—it assures that heteronormative assumptions and microaggressions remain invisible, insidious and unchallenged within the fabric of an organizational culture, and puts the emotional burden on LGBTQ+ people to be the only ones calling out these behaviors. It also makes it more vulnerable for them to do so.

Are you willing to speak up when you hear something that feels wrong or discriminatory or does not sit well, inside of your heart? And will you be that voice in the room, even when the LGBTQ+ person may not be in it? Are you being an ally (verbing it) in the moment it’s called for?

5. Uplift LGBTQ+ Voices.

Ultimately, allyship embraces an interdependent lens: a culture is not really working for anybody if it’s not welcoming and nutritive for everybody. An organizational culture needs to be a win-win for all employees on all levels to be maximally effective.

That’s why performative allyship is dangerous—it comes from a place of ego protection, does not integrate win-win and keeps the focus on the appearance of allyship (the guise of doing good) rather than fundamentally being aligned to real organizational change for everyone’s good.

Performative allyship fears losing its position or does not really embrace the point.

Speaking up as an ally is not about speaking over, but raising everyone’s voice. Be willing to ask how you can support your LGBTQ+ colleagues in the way that is most meaningful for them.

While your voice will be needed as an ally, your success will be evidenced in the greater space for marginalized LGBTQ+ voices at the center, not the edges, of the organizational conversation—down to the small and casual daily interactions that form relationships and culture.

(If you are a leader who wants to develop your skills as an inclusive leader to leverage diversity and truly understand the topic as a strategic capability, work with Nicki Gilmour on this topic as she coaches male and female leaders and managers who are growing their skills and evolving their behaviors to lead the current and future top talent of their firms. For an exploratory call, please book a session here.)

By Aimee Hansen

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OP-Ed: It’s Never Too Late To Be Your Whole Self

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whole selfWhat can companies and their leaders do to empower each employee to be their whole self? Lori McEvoy, Managing Director and Global Head of Distribution at Jennison Associates, shares what she’s learned over a 30-year career in asset management.

When I started my career in the late 1980s, I could not reveal I was gay (now recognized as lesbian). I knew there were others like me, but they were all closeted, especially some very experienced professionals. My uncle and his long-time companion were gay and, as senior leaders of a major insurance company, they were closeted. They knew they could be legitimately fired for their sexual orientation. They brought women to social and corporate events, lived at separate addresses, and never publicly acknowledged their life together. It was a time when few gay people were open. Even today, just 2% of baby boomers self-identify as LGBT, compared to 16% for Generation Z. When your livelihood and reputation are at stake, you do not say certain things, you stay private and keep your personal life separate from the corporate environment.

That was the example I witnessed growing up. Sexuality was never discussed in my household, and my father was unable to say the obvious truth that his oldest brother was gay. I knew how painful it would be for his daughter to admit the same thing, so I hid my identity from my family for many years. Rather, I believed my personal contributions, scholastic and athletic achievements, and career, would determine my worth. I wanted others to recognize my work ethic and production, not my orientation—especially back then.

Integrating personal and work lives

I met Kathi in 1988 and she quickly became my partner in life. I’m so grateful for our relationship and I’m not sure where I would be without her by my side. We have been a family for more than 30 years. I tell her all the time—borrowing one of the best lines from Jerry Maguire—“You complete me.” We share the same values—we both put family first and share the same foundation of hard work, honest communication, dedication and faith, and we do whatever it takes for us to continue to be close.

It was not easy to come out about our relationship. Both of our families were not accepting, and the last thing we ever wanted was for them to be ashamed of us. We both had attended Catholic grammar school, high school and college. Our inability to reconcile our commitment to each other and our faith with our religious upbringing was devastating.

At work, I was private about my relationship with Kathi. Putting up her picture in my office, which no one else would think twice about, felt like a big deal. Instead, I displayed pictures of my immediate family. If my colleagues knew about my private life, they never spoke about it. Business events typically allowed spouses, and sometimes Kathi would attend with me as a “friend”.

Thankfully, mainstream culture became more open and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community. When Ellen DeGeneres came out on her TV show and subsequently appeared on the cover of Time with the headline, “Yep, I’m Gay,” in 1997, it was a pivotal moment. In 2011, same-sex marriage was legalized in New York. When Kathi and I officially got married in Manhattan, my coworkers held a wedding shower for us.

One event stood out to me as a sign of how the environment was changing—an exchange between my 4-year-old niece (now aged 20) and her pediatrician. The pediatrician asked her what she was doing for the weekend and my niece answered that she was going to her Aunt Lori and Aunt Kathi’s lake house. The pediatrician asked for clarification, “Is it Aunt Lori or Aunt Kathi’s house?” My niece put her hand on her hip and exclaimed: “Girls can get married too, you know!” That was a huge moment for me. A 4 year-old was observant enough to know that Kathi and I were a family. In her mind, we were just another couple.

Today, even though the world has evolved, I still get the standard question at an industry or community event, “What does your husband do?” I just throw it out there, “My wife is CEO of our family and is also a Bikram yoga instructor!”

The importance of leadership by example

Leaders are essential to creating and maintaining a culture in which everyone feels welcome. I think they must lead by example. After I joined Jennison Associates in 2017, Jennison’s CEO Jeff Becker and I had dinner. He began asking me about Kathi. Wow, I thought, he and my wife have so much in common! They are both die-hard NHL hockey fans, having played the sport, and both love boating and waterskiing. I recognized that Jeff and I also had much in common—we spoke easily about family, our upbringing, and caring for our elderly parents. It immediately occurred to me: I’m with the right firm—I can bring my authentic self to work.

I believe diversity, equity and inclusion should embrace all parts of the individual. During a recent firm-wide conversation about mental health, several senior leaders publicly shared how mental health issues have impacted their families. It was incredibly powerful and moving. It also reminded me that everyone’s life has challenges, whether a person seems to be doing well or is just going about their business. You just don’t know. We owe it to our colleagues to check in—especially while we are working remotely. I feel strongly that a firm’s culture should allow us all to be more open.

The benefits of diversity and being true to oneself

And that, to me, is diversity. We all have different perspectives. When those perspectives can come together, they deliver a better outcome for everyone. The world has changed dramatically over the past 50 years, and we need to be open to new ways of thinking for the future. Ultimately, there is room for all of us, and no one should be rejected for offering their time, ideas or knowledge to change things for the better.

I’ve had a real opportunity to lean in and contribute. I am very proud of my participation in Jennison’s newly formed Inclusion Council, where I serve as executive sponsor, and my work with our parent, PGIM, on the Women’s Advisory Council and the recently formed LGBTQ+ Think Tank.

I can only say to young people starting out: Just recognize the importance of being true. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. There will be many opportunities in your career—make sure the one you select aligns with your interests and values. I have had a passion for this business since I joined it three decades ago. Today, I’m sometimes asked when I plan to retire. I answer—I’m only 57! I’m not stepping away anytime soon, especially now that I am being my whole self.

By Lori McEvoy, Managing Director – Global Head of Distribution, Jennison Associates

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Diversify the Image of Corporate Leadership to Include Asian American Women

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Asian American Women LeadersIf more Asian American women are to reach leadership positions, Corporate America needs to integrate a wider and more inclusive image of what leadership looks and feels like.

Nearly 40% of Asian American women identify as entrepreneurs. According to the 2019 State of Women-Owned Business Report, Asian American women-owned businesses represent 9% of all women-owned businesses.

Between 2014 to 2019, the average revenue for women-of-color-owned businesses shrank, according to the report, with the exception of Asian women-owned businesses. The average earned revenue for these firms indexes 33% above all women-owned businesses and represent the highest number for any racial/ethnic group, though Asian American businesses have been been disproportionately devastated by the virus of racism since the pandemic began.

Asian American women know how to lead and the results of their businesses prove they lead well. Last week, theglasshammer talked about the insidious harm of stereotypes, mythology and microaggressions when it comes to obstacles to reaching corporate leadership for Asian American women.

Now let’s question a definition of leadership that closes the gates to women that are compelled to lead – especially East Asian women.

The Over-Valuation of Assertiveness

Asian American women leaders are far from a monolith and are not represented equally in leadership either. Another factor at play in inhibiting East Asian women, in particular, in attaining executive leadership roles is a status quo of narrow leadership norms that close the gates to a diversity of leadership qualities and approaches.

A report on diversity among Fortune 500 CEOs from 2000 to 2020 indicates that 35 Asian-Americans were CEOs Of Fortune 500 companies during this period: 13 were East Asians and 22 were South Asians. Only six were women.

Among Standard & Poor’s 500 companies between 2010 and 2017, there were 1.92 white CEOs per million in the U.S population, 2.82 South Asian CEOS per million in the population, and only .59 East Asian CEOS per million in the population.

Recently released research from MIT Sloan associate professor Jackson Lu explored why East Asians, but not South Asians, are uniquely underrepresented in leadership in U.S. business, concluding that this inequality is “an issue of cultural fit — a mismatch between East Asian norms of communication and American norms of leadership.”

While non-Asian Americans exhibited greater “prejudice” against South Asians than East Asians, this did not correspond with the leadership gap. “Motivation” was also equal between the groups. What the researchers posit is that the over-evaluation of “assertiveness” in U.S. leadership, which East Asians consistently scored lower on, is why East Asians are less likely to attain leadership positions.

Whereas South Asian cultures often encourage assertiveness and debate, East Asian cultures often emphasize humility and conformity, but this is not indicative of the lack of confidence nor motivation that it can be perceived as through a Western lens.

“Importantly, assertive leaders are not necessarily the most effective ones. American organizations need to diversify the prototype of what a leader should look like,” states Wu. An overly assertion-based leadership ideal not only has a cultural and gender bias but an inclination towards more toxic shadow traits of leadership.

Diversifying The Leadership Norm

Part of valuing and respecting Asian American women leaders involves changing the cultural norm and implicit prototype of what we value in leadership.

A September 2020 paper from Russell Reynolds Associates suggests that companies “reconsider internal definitions of who is qualified to lead”—pointing out that a too narrow definition of good leaders is what inhibits the wider objectivity needed to promote the best leaders in their own authentic leadership style.

“Past efforts to fill this leadership gap have mainly focused on how Asian Americans should individually moderate their leadership styles to adapt to the dominant culture. Yet this approach opens the possibility that they will be criticized for another reason: failing to match American expectations of stereotypical Asian American behavior,” writes the authors. “We consider this a ‘double-edged sword,’ with neither path allowing them to be recognized and rewarded for their authentic leadership styles, wherever they fall on the spectrum of cultural expectations.”

“In our experience, the leadership gap is not a reflection of how well Asian Americans can lead,” the authors continue, “but rather how narrowly companies define what a successful leader looks like and how he or she should behave.”

“While many organizations value assertiveness and self-confidence in their leaders,” says Deborah Ancona, professor of leadership at MIT Sloan and founder of the MIT Leadership Center, “it is important to note that there are many different leadership capabilities that organizations also need to foster and reward.”

A qualitative LEAP Asian American Executive Leadership report revealed that among successful C-Suite Asian American executives, the non-visible values of continuous learning, collectivism and humility were at the root of their successful leadership.

Along with recommendations for individuals that would frankly apply to any aspiring leader (self-reflect, observe others, push (your own) boundaries and be open), the LEAP authors recommend, in their words, that organizations take three actions:

  • Redefine leadership – reconsider the definition of leadership combining the uniqueness of Asian Americans and, organizational, and societal needs
  • Create spaces – offer programs that embrace leadership styles, mindsets and values that develop and align to Asian American leaders
  • Reach out – include Asian Americans’ diverse perspectives and mindsets when navigating change and uncertainty

The cultural and personal influences that characterize the leadership of any given individual will be unique—the point is for more varied expressions to be invited in, to reveal their own strengths and benefits.

Our definition of leadership is dated and limiting the range of talent that gets in and leadership approaches. In order to create more diversity in leadership, we need to diversify the way we think about leadership, to begin with.

By Aimee Hansen

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Why Asian American Women In Business Need You To Not Be Passive

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Asian American WomenIt’s been well-documented that Asian American women in business are often the professional but too rarely the executive.

As written in Forbes, Asian American women are the demographic group most likely to have graduate degrees but least likely to hold positions within three reporting levels of the CEO or to have line or supervisory responsibilities. Asian women outnumber Asian men among associates at U.S. law firms, but Asian men are nearly twice as likely as Asian women to be promoted to partner (64% vs. 36%).

Recently, in a national outcry against anti-Asian racism, micro-assaults, commercial discrimination and hate crimes that have risen across the pandemic, culminating in the March Atlanta shootings of eight people (six of which were women of Asian descent), nearly 1000 Asian-American business leaders have pledged $10 million to support Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) communities.

The Danger of the “Model Minority” Mythology

Asian American often women encounter a convoluted web of cultural myths that create a plateau in their career path. In one study of Asian American women who experienced discrimination, 34% reported that others assumed they were passive while 14% felt others viewed them as incapable of leadership.

The discrimination and bias faced by Asian Americans is often invalidated and made “invisible” due to being labeled as the model minority (due to having the highest educational achievements, highest median income, and one of the lowest crime rates) while actually being held back from the success of leadership and promotion. Not to mention blinding us to the reality that Asian-American women have been the hardest hit by Covid-19 job loss, with 44% out of work for six months or more.

The insidious impact of the harmful “model minority” mythology upon the Asian American community is that it’s both gaslighting and obscuring of the myriad discrimination and anti-Asian racism that very different groups of Asian American women actually face. Not only that, but it squeezes out room for the voices and diverse experiences of Asian Americans to be heard.

Aspects of the bamboo ceiling Asian American women confront include cultural ignorance and lack of ethnic discernment; the presumption of the perpetual foreigner; both imposed cultural stereotypes, as well as real cultural values and communication styles, that are at odds with Western masculine stereotypes of leadership; perceptions of hard working, discipline, intelligence and self-sacrificing that perpetuate an expectation of (quietly) carrying disproportionate quantities of work at a high performance standard; and racialized sexism/sexualized racism.

Yet when Asian American women do break prescriptive stereotypes to show assertiveness, they can be perceived as threatening and penalized in likability. Meanwhile, Hollywood has been no ally in challenging the stereotypes and simplistic tropes that Asian-American women are cast into, but rather reinforces them.

Speaking Up About Microaggressions

“In a workplace culture, racist acts usually play out as microaggressions—those small verbal or nonverbal slights, snubs, or insults. For example, being asked where you’re really from or being told that your English is really good assumes if you’re Asian, you’re foreign, and not a “real” American,” states Serena Fong, Vice President, Strategic Engagement, at Catalyst.

“Experiences of being invisible and forgotten surface through assumptions that because Asians are smart, quiet, and hardworking, they don’t experience racism at all,” Fong continues. “However, research shows that Asian Americans are the least likely group to be promoted to management positions, and Asian women hold the smallest share of total management positions in the US. Think about what’s conveyed when you say to an Asian colleague, particularly an Asian woman, you should “speak up more”, or “you’re so quiet”. Is that true or based on stereotypes?”

Microaggressions lower implicit self-esteem among Asian-Americans and induce stress, and when related to the “model minority” stereotype or perceived foreignness, are correlated with higher odds of poorer self-rated health. As part of AAPI Heritage month, the Los Angeles Times is currently polling to know strategies for countering microaggressions.

Fong advises, in her words, what not to do when you witness a microaggression:

  • Don’t act like you didn’t hear or see it. Racism is not going to go away if we ignore it. In fact, ignoring it can be seen as tacit agreement—and this failure to address it can add insult to injury.
  • Don’t make excuses. Explaining that somebody didn’t mean to be racist doesn’t make the remark or action any less hurtful or less racist. When somebody asks, “Where are you really from?” and isn’t challenged, their question reinforces stereotypes and perpetuates inaccurate information.
  • Don’t become immobilized. This happens more often than not; you witness something but are at a loss for what to say or do—and end up doing nothing.

Instead, Fong recommends:

  • Address the microaggression by responding with a non-judgmental observation or asking a thoughtful question. Doing so signals support for your colleagues and models inclusive behavior and courage to others. It may not be easy, but it’s worth it.
  • Talk to those involved. Doing so can break down stereotypes and provide comfort and support to the targets, particularly during such a scary time in the world. Check in with your colleagues to signal that you’re open to listening without putting the burden on them. If they don’t want to talk, be okay with that.

When it comes to disrupting the conscious or unconscious, not-so-small and harmful expressions of discrimination, we are all responsible. We do not need Asian American women to learn how to “speak up more.” We all need to be brave enough to speak up and out, more.

By: Aimee Hansen

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Why a Women’s Retreat Is Not Really About Getting Away

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women's retreatWhile it might seem strange to say this as a women’s retreat creator and facilitator, no woman ever needs a retreat. A retreat is not an endpoint. What every single woman absolutely needs is herself. A retreat is just one way a woman sets her own feet on a path back to herself.

While a week away offers a break, in my experience a woman rarely goes on retreat just to step away from her life. Instead, the underlying motivation is often the opposite—a restless desire to step into her voice, and into her own life, more fully.

What a woman often yearns for is a big, wide open space away from the status quo routine and constant noise to listen inwards and reconnect to her inner truth, to catalyze the internal momentum to clarify and heed what she hears, and perhaps to surround herself in an atmosphere of support that will validate and even magnify her voice.

Cyclical Time and Cyclical Rebirth

In the day-in, day-out focus on “doing” in life, it can be easy to move through the motions, stay close with the inertia of our current trajectory and just keep going. But from the physiology of our bodies to the seasons of nature—with the continuous cycle of birth, bloom, death and rebirth—a feminine sense of time is not linear, but cyclical time.

So that moment arrives, yet again, when what once created personal meaning or fulfillment no longer animates us. Or perhaps a key role or circumstance is stripped away, and the sense of value and safety we derived disappears with it. Or perhaps we just sense our “stuckedness” and discontent, though we can’t put a finger on what needs to change. We are asked to meet ourselves all over again.

We repeatedly come to a kind of crossroads with self, and we are supposed to. We ache to shed a skin, to break out of the limitations of a fixed identity, to evolve into our next adventure or creation—even if we cannot yet know what that looks like or how it will show up or take form.

The openness to listen to our own voice and allow ourselves the life-giving force of staying true to our inner truth — to move with it as it shifts—is part of the ever-unfolding path of personal evolution, and reflects feminine integrity, even if at times it renders us somewhat unrecognizable to our former self.

Whether we will be asked to make changes inside or outside, and often both, we come to realize the deadening feeling of ignoring our own voice is far more dangerous to our well-being than avoiding the fear of change. We are nudged towards the necessary discomfort, and often uncertainty, that comes with growth, like metaphorical labor pains in the cycle of our own rebirth.

Catalysts For A Crossroads Moment

In her best-selling book Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live, Dr. Martha Beck speaks to three kinds of catalytic events that can cause a re-evaluation of life and transform your self-definition:

  • Shock—A sudden external event that rattles your way of life to the core. Not all shocks are “negative”, but they are a sudden and fundamental change. We have been inside of the collective sustained shock of the pandemic for over a year now. I know few women that have not also faced big questions in her personal sphere amidst the collective spin.
  • Opportunity—An external “lucky break” comes in some way that offers the opportunity to take a big leap towards an adventure that your “essential self” wants to live out. Because it’s an opportunity, not forced, it brings up the dilemma of whether you’re willing to leap.
  • Transition—When the desire for change arises purely from within, a slow brew of dissonance with your currently reality becomes eventually intolerable. An internal transition requires feeling your “negative” feelings rather than numbing or running away from them, as well as acknowledging and validating your thoughts, preferences and desires too.

Transitions require a willingness to give credence to your inner voice. Transitions can only be self-validated, which necessitates emotional courage, as others may not understand your changes or decisions, and sometimes, until you get through it, you may even struggle to explain them to yourself.

Reconnecting With Your Voice

“We’re often blind to what creates our limits and blocks,” writes Nicki Gilmour, CEO and Founder, Evolved People (theglasshammer.com). “We all have goals, but we need to surface our subconscious gremlins, who are trying to thwart are best-laid plans for change by creating hidden competing agendas.”

When we seek to reconnect with our voice, we often find that unconscious limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging patterns are holding more sway in our lives than we realized, even if we have visited them before. Unexamined, they will run us in a circle of repetitive limited experience so that even as the characters and stages change, the familiar plot wears itself out in our interactions and relationships.

Just as time is not only linear, emotional and spiritual growth also does not happen in a straight line, however. The growth of becoming conscious of limiting beliefs and patterns often feels like a spiral outwards, returning to familiar themes in new iterations with a little more distance from the red-hot center of pain. We begin to hold increased perspective, as both experiencer and witness, and a greater ability to respond rather than be highjacked by emotional reactivity.

Sometimes, as explored in Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind Can Heal The Heart by Tara Bennet Goldman, entire schemas or lenses of skewed perception are at play which require the piercing light of our conscious awareness, if only to open up the 1/4 second opportunity of choice in what we do with how we feel.

We can also question and rewrite the narratives through which we tell the stories about ourselves, those around us and our lives. We come to find that we all have deep stories through which we shape our stories and through which we write our lives, but they do not need to be set in stone.

If we are open and fundamentally teachable as a student to life, we will keep unfolding ourselves to reveal more of who we are. Life opens up relative to how receptive to our own tender being, with all her feelings and all her contradictions and all her needs, we are willing to be.

Ultimately, stepping into our voice comes down to self-allowance and not trying to constantly earn our value through the endless outcome-focused “doing” of the patriarchal paradigm, but rather claiming our inherent self-worth.

We surround ourselves with others who can remind us should we forget, because unlike the mythical solo journey, a tenet of the “heroine’s journey” is to recognize support is available from soulful allies along the road.

Walking Back Towards Yourself

When you come again to a crossroads of self; when you reach a moment where you can no longer distract, ignore,  or downplay your feelings, needs or intuition; when you can neither watch yourself hustle for approval nor conspire against your own deeper desires; when you will no longer believe in a culturally-defined success if it isn’t also aligned with your own truth—then, you step through a new doorway.

What you find is more of who you are waiting there, if only you are willing to receive her, if only you are ready to follow her wherever she may take you. When our value is self-possessed, we are free to be and move and create, from the inside-out.

To me, a women’s retreat is never about that one week you stepped away from your life. It’s not really about getting away, but getting in. It’s about walking back towards yourself and stepping further into the truth of who you are.

In addition to lead writer for theglasshammer, Aimee Hansen is the Creator of Storyteller Within Retreats, Lonely Planet Wellness Escapes recommended women’s self-exploration retreats focused on connecting with your embodied inner voice, through writing, yoga, movement and more, to animate your unique expression. Her next luxury retreat event on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala takes place July 31st – August 9th, 2021 with 12 spaces available.

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How To Disrupt Gender Bias in the Virtual Workplace

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Gender BiasWhat can leaders, managers, allies and women themselves do to minimize and challenge gender bias in the virtual workplace?

Last week, theglasshammer.com explored the impact of the virtual office in either neutralizing or amplifying pre-existing dynamics of gender bias.

Ultimately, the gender bias present in our cultural paradigm is also present in our offices, and this week we explore how to address it.

How Leaders Can Diffuse Gender Bias in the Virtual Office

An article in the World Economic Forum asserts that when it comes to bias in virtual meetings as in any context, “changing the environment in the room – rather than changing women’s behavior – should be the goal.“

“If we build a world in which women’s voices are valued and listened to,” says Jessica Preece, associate professor in political science at Brigham Young University, “they will speak up without having to be told to.”

“Smart companies create inclusive work cultures so that all employees actively support each other, particularly marginalized groups. Allyship and curiosity should be at the heart of a manager’s leadership, regardless of gender, to create a more inclusive, welcoming workplace,” says Serena Fong, Vice President, Strategic Engagement for Catalyst.

As leaders, meeting chairs can set the tone and expectations upfront, including implementing ground rules for discussions that mitigate some of the communication challenges and gender imbalances, such as a no interruption rule in Zoom calls.

As written in Forbes, reducing interruption requires the self-reflection of questions such as “Is this person making a point I need to add onto?” and “Am I listening equally to everyone in the room?”

Calling out when gender imbalances occur is another approach to being an ally on Zoom, as exemplified by an associate professor who let the men dominating the virtual conversation know that she was happy to hear their input, but also wanted to hear from the women.

Introducing positive interjections, such as “that’s a really valuable point” to validate, amplify and give pause of consideration to women’s voices is another strategy for leveling the field.

Putting workflow systems in place that ensure communication flow, project tracking and clear administrative responsibilities will also help reduce the amount of extra work picked up by women.

According to Fong at Catalyst, leaders should embrace these five key strategies to disrupt gender imbalances and build a more flexible, equitable and inclusive workplace for all:

  • Lead inclusively through crisis: keep inclusion front and center as you navigate the shifts in how we’re working currently and how we’ll be working in the future.
  • Tackle inequities, large and small: face biases and stereotypes head on through workplace policies and opportunities such as re-skilling your workforce, examining talent management, recruiting, and advancement practices for biases, and setting DEI targets and goals.
  • Connect with empathy: put yourself in your colleagues’ shoes and imagine what they might be experiencing vs. your experiences.
  • Trust your team: don’t micromanage projects and processes, and be transparent about when, how and who is involved when decisions are made.
  • Work remotely and flexibly: the pandemic dispelled many myths and assumptions about working remotely and flexibly. Take the lessons learned and incorporate it into the “new normal”.
How Women Can Ally Together in the Virtual Office

While not responsible for correcting gender imbalance, women can still be allies to one another in subverting gender imbalances of the virtual workplace.

“If you see a colleague being ignored or is trying to speak, say something. If you learn about an act of bias, think about how you can address it,” says Fong. “It may not seem like much, but it is infinitely better than ignoring it.”

Carol Vernon, founder and principal of Communication Matters, recommends for women to set the stage early for speaking up in a virtual meeting rather than waiting to have the perfect compelling thing to say, and to take the lead in introducing non-verbal expression to the meeting.

Another way of subverting bias is by actively reinforcing ideas that another woman has brought to the table and then re-accrediting the idea as hers, as While House staffers did during the Obama administration.

Women leaders have also told theglasshammer.com about actively inviting female colleagues who hold valuable insight on a topic to share their viewpoint, as well as instant messaging with coworkers during meetings to enhance solidarity and encourage each other to speak.

Nicki Gilmour, Leadership Coach, Organizational development specialist and founder of theglasshammer.com adds, “Creating psychological safety as the leader in the virtual room matters also, as who you authorize to not only speak but to demonstrate expertise matters. People will take their cues from you in person or otherwise about who is truly authorized to speak up. Asking for different people’s viewpoints from their perspective will not only add value but level the playing field for the quieter, more hesitant people on the call.”

Virtual gender bias is really just the same dynamics at play in a new space, but perhaps the playing field also allows for new disruptions.

By Aimee Hansen

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Is Gender Bias Amplified in the Virtual Workplace?

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Virtual workplaceWhile remote working is a key element to creating more gender equality, the coexistence of the virtual workplace alongside virtual schooling has exacerbated the disproportional hours women spend on caregiving and domestic work, driving women to exit the workforce or consider downshifting their careers.

The dissolution of physical boundaries between home and office and classroom very rarely affords a woman with children “a room of her own” in which to conduct her professional life, unlike her male counterparts.

And now the remote workplace itself—the virtual meeting room and Zoom office—is introducing a mixed bag of gender-related impacts, neutralizing some imbalances while magnifying others.

How the Virtual Meeting Room Could Neutralize Gender Bias

As of February, researchers in Forbes reported that sentiments towards moral, motivation and collaboration related to the virtual workplace have been dropping into negative territory since November among executive leaders. Yet women leaders remained more positive than men—especially in relation to impact of the virtual workplace on productivity, decision-making and communication. Women leaders were more positive about the chairing of online meetings and that it sets the space that ‘ensures all team members can contribute to meetings’.

While men are socialized to establish dominance and position in team communications, women are inclined to establish relationships and build trust. Some research has indicated that virtual media, with a lack of non-verbal cues and three-dimensional richness, can led to greater misunderstanding in communication, but also diffuses the ability for men to dominate team interaction.

“With completely remote-meetings, the physical and social dynamics of in-person conversations unhinge the norms of hierarchy,” speculates UX researcher Allison Yu. “In Zoom, everyone is literally on an equal grid.”

Yu points out that when the active speaker is everyone’s primary focus on a Zoom screen, the act of cutting someone else off simply becomes more blunt. The virtual office also mitigates height bias, which favors men.

Whereas access to senior leaders is generally lower for women and women of color especially, Yu argues access becomes more equalized in a virtual workplace where some of the more exclusionary casual networking meet-ups, cultivated through affinity bias, aren’t as frequent or prevalent.

How the Virtual Meeting Room Is Proliferating Gender Bias

On the other hand, the virtual meeting room is also playing out to magnify pre-existing gender dynamics—such as male executives winning competency points for speaking longer while women lose them, passion expressed by women leaders being perceived as overemotional by male counterparts, men being 33% more likely to interrupt their female than male colleagues (manterruption), women speaking up 25% less than men in the meeting environment, and live reverbalizaton and appropriation by men of ideas previously introduced by a female colleague.

According to Catalyst research, 1 in 5 women has felt ignored and overlooked by coworkers using video calls. 45% of women business leaders say it’s difficult for women to speak in virtual meetings and 42% of male business leaders agree. Additionally, 31% of women and queer/non-binary respondents reported “getting talked over, interrupted, or ignored more frequently during virtual meetings than those held in person” in a July 2020 survey by the Society of Women Engineers.

In September, University of Iowa Grad student Claire McDonnell shared a video call recording on TikTok entitled “live footage of being a woman in STEM” that went viral within 48 hours. The clip shows her repeatedly being interrupted by fellow male students when pitching project ideas and having her own ideas appropriated and re-presented by her peers, though she was the only with with actual work experience with the topic.

As written in the New York Times, Georgetown University professor Deborah Tannen asserts that the remote workplace amplifies pre-existing conversational imbalances in who gets heard. Whereas men will tend to be argumentative and speak longer to convey authority, women will often be succinct, self-deprecating or speak in more indirect ways to not take up more space than necessary and be likable.

“Women are systematically seen as less authoritative,” said Jessica Preece, associate professor in political science at Brigham Young University. “And their influence is systematically lower. And they’re speaking less. And when they’re speaking up, they’re not being listened to as much, and they are being interrupted more.”

As put forth in Fast Company, women also have weaker informal relationships at work and office politics are still at play as “the official virtual meeting represents only a fraction of interactions, and real power dynamics will move backstage, excluding women as needed.”

Research also shows more women (46%) are struggling with group work than men (37%), often picking up more of the undefined, collaborative-based tasks and carrying the load of remote office housework. Also, “when faced with poor visibility or communication on what their colleagues are doing, many women compensate by working more,” an impulse which can be amplified by lack of co-presence in the remote working office.

How to Diffuse and Disrupt Virtual Bias?

While the flexibility of the remote workplace is generally supportive to gender equality, and virtual meeting rooms could counter or neutralize aspects of gender bias, the last year has revealed that entrenched cultural gender dynamics will reveal themselves, sometimes more so in altered circumstances. If gender inequality is inherent within our culture, it’s frankly alive and well in our virtual offices.

Next week, we will explore how leaders, managers, allies and women colleagues can play a role in addressing and mitigating the dynamics of virtual bias.

By Aimee Hansen

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OP-Ed: Why Female Leaders Experience More Burnout and What to Do About It

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Jessica ThiefelsWhile COVID took a toll on all of us, women in the workplace are feeling the burnout effects at higher rates than their male counterparts. Data from a 2020 McKinsey poll found that:

  • 53 percent of women reported feeling job-related stress, compared to 46 percent of men
  • 37 percent of women felt exhaustion, compared to 31 percent of men
  • 32 percent of women felt burnout, compared to 28 percent of men

The disparity is even more obvious at the senior level. For example, 54 percent of senior-level female leaders felt exhausted compared to just 41 percent for men, and 39 percent experienced burnout with only 29 percent of male leaders reporting the same.

To counteract widespread burnout as a female leader, it’s important to understand the root causes of your work-related stress and find actionable ways to avoid it. Here are some strategies you can use as a female leader in the workplace fighting burnout during COVID and otherwise.

Understand the Relationship Between Mental Health and Burnout

Burnout is due to chronic stress, fatigue, cynicism, and lack of accomplishment, according to a study from Frontiers in Psychology. What’s more, the research indicates that burnout often shares commonalities with depression and anxiety.

With stress at the root of burnout, it’s vital that you not only be aware of how stress levels can impact your mental health but your physical health as well. You may not notice the stress if you’re used to it, but you might notice these physical stress indicators:

  • Tense muscles
  • Blood pressure increase
  • Increase in heart rate
  • Hyperventilating
  • Off-balanced digestion

In “How to Free Yourself From Stress”, HealthMarkets explains that the real trouble starts when this stress becomes chronic. They explain, “The constant physiological response wears us down, affecting several major biological systems. Our stores of energy drain. Our bodies produce fewer infection-fighting T-cells, so our immune systems become weak, making it easy for illnesses and diseases to push their way into our lives.”

Fight burnout: Use an app like Symple to track your daily mental and physical health. It’s easy to ignore stress when it’s become the norm for you. This small step will force you to focus on your overall health each day, which can point you to burnout before it becomes a problem.

Fight Back Against Social Media Fatigue

Female leaders are expected to write sharp industry articles on LinkedIn and promote themselves as the face of a brand on Twitter. Not to mention, it’s often a component of our personal lives. Yet, excess social media consumption can also lead to burnout.

The problem is that too much social media exposure is dangerous to mental health, especially for female leaders. Recent research has found that social media fatigue is a legitimate condition that can lead to anxiety and exhaustion.

As a modern successful woman, you’re constantly taking in the highlight reel of your peers and colleagues. To make it even worse, instances of “mom-shaming” for working mothers are on the rise since the start of COVID-19.

Fight burnout: How often do you mindless scroll on social media? Probably more than you think. Set social media boundaries so you can still show up where you need to, but walk away when you don’t. For example, you set a rule that you can’t look at social media until 10 am and then you put it away for the night after dinner. If you can’t stop yourself, let your phone do the work with an app like Offtime.

Untangle the Excessive Demands on Female Leaders

Based on the same McKinsey data, COVID-19 workplace shifts caused unequal challenges for female leaders, especially when compared to men. The pressures of household responsibilities, fear of suffering job performance, and lack of flexibility/work-life balance forced many women to scale down their careers or leave their job. One in three working mothers faced this decision due to limited childcare options.

It’s even tougher is when you’re the solitary female in your position. The report explains, “Senior-level women are also nearly twice as likely as women overall to be ‘Onlys’—the only or one of the only women in the room at work.” This circumstance sets the stage for microaggressions, criticisms, dismissals, and high-performance stakes, all of which contribute to female leaders experiencing burnout 1.5 times more than male leaders.

If you add childcare into the equation (working mothers currently spend 15 more hours on domestic labor per week than men), it becomes an impossible situation.

This is when it becomes important for organizations to play a role in helping women mitigate their burnout.

How Organizations Can Help Female Leaders Combat Burnout

You’re likely not the only woman dealing with this burnout in your organization—and in some cases, it takes the organization to make changes for you to be able to better manage the stresses put on women in the workplace.

Consider using these strategies to recognize and counteract burnout for women company-wide:

  • Promote mental health awareness: Ensure transparency surrounding mental health benefits, I.E. therapy and other available resources. If your benefits plan is lacking, Eric Freedman, founder and CEO of eSkill, suggests circumventing financial barriers by exploring options such as telehealth counseling sessions or access to mobile wellness subscriptions. Companies can also provide mental health support with group meditation classes. Organizations including Nike, Google, and Sony have built this into their company culture.
  • Support working mothers: Assist working mothers in finding solutions for childcare or allow for more flexible hours for those who also home-school their children due to COVID. Don’t just to send an email or memo, but make changes that help women make these changes in their workday. What’s more, female leaders can lead by example by setting boundaries, like being offline at certain times, so their direct reports know that it’s acceptable to do the same. Check out this Fast Company piece, which highlights how other companies provide for the “patchwork of childcare needs” of their employees.
  • Get real: It’s important that company leaders don’t just talk about these things, but they take real action. This will look different for each organization, starting with getting serious about allowing for greater flexible schedules, getting realistic about workloads and where support is needed, updating paid leave policies, and even discussing whether female leaders’ pay is equivalent to the work they’re doing.
Female Leaders: Support Yourself and Others

Whether you manage women in leadership positions, shape your HR policies or workplace culture, or are a female executive, you’re likely experiencing burnout in some way. The first step to solving this issue is understanding where the root causes are and then taking real action to provide solutions. It’s time to put sustainable policies and processes into place so female leaders can do their job without an impossible burden on their shoulders.

Jessica Thiefels is the author of 10 Questions That Answer Life’s Biggest Questions, podcast host of Mindset Reset Radio, CEO of Jessica Thiefels Consulting and founder of the Femxcutive Personal Brand Coaching Program. She’s been writing for more than 10 years and has been featured in top publications including Forbes and Entrepreneur. She also contributes to Fast Company, The Ladders, and more. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn.

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