Stop Letting Your Career Happen to You

By Jessica Darmoni

“Make sure to manage your career,” says Patricia Lunkes. “And that your career is not managing you.”

After more than four decades in human resources and as founder of Parkway Consulting Group, Lunkes has spent her career watching people at pivotal moments, whether being hired, promoted or laid off. From that vantage point she notices patterns, the biggest one being that people wait too long to take control.

“It’s very easy to have a career manage you,” she says. “You have to be conscious that it’s going in the right direction.”

While that sounds obvious, it isn’t. In reality, careers drift, promotions come with tradeoffs no one fully evaluates and roles evolve faster than people adapt. Dissatisfaction builds gradually, then suddenly feels overwhelming. By the time many professionals stop to ask whether they’re in the right place, they’re already far from it.

Watching for the Warning Signs

Lunkes offers a simple but powerful framework which she calls “the 80/20 rule” of job satisfaction. If roughly 80% of your work aligns with what you enjoy and do well, you’re in a sustainable place.

“If that ratio slips toward 60/40, it’s not just a bad week, it’s a warning sign,” she says. “And most people ignore the warning sign by rationalizing.”

It is common for employees to look toward that next project, the next boss, or the next year as a solution. Sometimes it gets better, but often it doesn’t, and the cost of waiting compounds not just professionally, but psychologically.

Lunkes knows this firsthand. Twice in her career, she stepped into roles that looked right on paper but were not good cultural fits. In both cases, she says she believed she could change the environment.

“The common denominator was me,” she admits. “That realization is uncomfortable but necessary. We tend to blame circumstances, leadership, or culture. Those factors matter but they don’t replace self-awareness. If you don’t understand what actually fits you, you will keep choosing environments that don’t.”

Reflection Creates Better Decisions

What Lunkes did next is what separates intentional careers from accidental ones: she paused. She stepped back, reassessed, and rebuilt her work around what she genuinely enjoyed, which was meeting people, solving problems, and helping others move forward. Instead of forcing herself into a predefined role, she designed one. That decision became Parkway Consulting Group.

Her path underscores a broader shift that many professionals still resist: careers are no longer linear.

“The most resilient professionals aren’t the ones who follow a plan perfectly,” she notes. “They’re the ones who adjust quickly when the plan stops making sense.”

That requires two things people often undervalue: reflection and honesty.

Lunkes encourages something simple, a “career buddy.” Someone who can listen, challenge your assumptions, and help you distinguish between temporary frustration and a deeper mismatch. In fast-moving industries especially, where roles evolve constantly, that outside perspective can be the difference between a smart pivot and a costly mistake.

The Skills that Matter Most

While reflection is important, it must be coupled with thoughtful execution. Here, Lunkes is blunt about the skills that actually move careers forward today.

Communication sits at the top of the list, meaning not just speaking, but listening, reading a room, and knowing when to stop talking. In hybrid and remote environments, where nuance is easily lost, this skill has become a differentiator.

Adaptability is also important. The professionals who thrive aren’t necessarily the most experienced; they’re the ones most willing to evolve.

Finally, there’s the piece many still struggle with which is boundaries.

Learning to say no sounds simple but it requires confidence, clarity, and practice. For many, especially women, Lunkes notes, it’s a skill developed late, if at all. She emphasizes that without it, careers become shaped by external demands rather than internal priorities.

The same applies to negotiation. Too many professionals treat it as optional or adversarial but, if done well, it signals that you understand value, including your own.

Your Career is Something You Build

Underlying all of this is a mindset shift: your career is not something you endure or inherit. It’s something you actively construct. That doesn’t mean every move will be perfect. Lunkes’ career certainly wasn’t. However, it does mean paying attention regularly, honestly, and without waiting for a crisis to force “the 80/20 rule” question.

The reality is that the market will keep changing. Industries will speed up. Roles will blur. Stability, as previous generations understood it, is not coming back. What remains constant is the need for self-awareness. The professionals who succeed in this environment won’t be the ones with the most predictable paths. They’ll be the ones willing to ask, again and again: Is this still right for me?

And if the answer is no, they’ll do something about it.