Tag Archive for: resilience

Lindsey Roy: Hallmark Cards, SVP Strategy & Brand & Motivational Speaker

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Lindsey Roy“A couple of things are true for everyone. One, every person will experience hardship. It’s the human condition. Two, no one invites or wants or desires hardship. But three, the art of living is to find the space in between those two things.”

We talked to Lindsey Roy, SVP Strategy & Brand at Hallmark Cards. At 31, she was named vice-president at Hallmark, one of the youngest VPs in the 100+ year history of the company. Five years later, at 36 years old and with two young children, she was nearly killed in a boating accident and left with an amputated leg and severe limb injuries. In 2017, after years of recovery and adaptation, she delivered a TEDx Talk entitled “What Trauma Taught Me About Happiness.”

Then, at 44 years old, having already fully adapted to several major life changes with the support of her husband Aaron and two children, Roy was diagnosed with a rare and progressive disease that destroyed the blood vessels in her lungs, requiring a double lung transplant in the summer of 2022. The road to recovery started once again.

Across 24 years at Hallmark Cards, Roy has held 12 positions while raising two children, having two life-saving surgeries, adapting to life changes, and recalibrating her dreams. In her book, The Gift of Perspective, she shares “Wisdom I Gained From Losing a Leg and Two Lungs.” She seeks to build our collective wisdom of how to walk the challenges we each face while also lifting each other up. Her story has been featured in Forbes, Fast Company, O Magazine, and Working Mother.

On what to do when “why me” comes up in the midst of challenge:

“I have learned there is zero wisdom in asking, ‘Why me?’ It is a road to nowhere. It is a circular reference, infinitely looping. I have spent hours and cycles learning that. In my latest journey with my lungs, when that sentiment would come up, I would mindfully stop my brain from going there. If it would start to wonder there, I would make my brain stop mid-thought and actively think, I’m not even going to entertain the thought.

Others would also say to me, ‘I can’t believe you’re going through this. You’ve already been through so much. It’s not fair.’ But I wouldn’t entertain that. I would try to shut it down, and say, ‘Everybody goes through things. I just had the National Enquirer (sensational) version of problems. That doesn’t mean they’re harder. Problems are relative.’

I would redirect, because ‘why me?’ is simply the biggest waste of time. You’ll never solve it, so shut it down. I’m also a person of faith, so the question was also, ‘Why not me?’ How am I supposed to know how my life was supposed to be when only God knows that?”

On whether challenges shape us or reveal who we are:

“Both. I do believe that as humans, there’s a lot of ‘who we are’ that is already predetermined and pre-established from formative experiences. Those things often are latent, or even unknown, to ourselves, so there is an element of revelation: I might not have known I had those pieces. And that’s akin to the quote from Bob Marley: ‘You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.’ There’s a lot of truth to adversity revealing parts of yourself.

But, there is definitely also a shaping piece. I now know things that you cannot know because of my experiences. I truly do believe that’s the point of sharing – because you’re never going to know what I know and I’m never going to know what you know. That’s why my purpose is to share: it adds to our collective wisdom. How beautiful that we can each pick up a gem of wisdom from someone else’s path to help us each walk our own.”

On how being confronted with adversity has impacted upon her outlook:

“Honestly, there weren’t many circumstances in my life that had put me in the empathetic seat to feeling otherized. In many ways, I had traditional ‘pathing’ and a more privileged set of circumstances. Then, I was suddenly thrown into being a member of the disabled community, the sick mom at school events, the person missing at work due to a disability situation. All of the sudden, I was a member of a lot of new clubs. I was an amputee, for example. That is a club I never expected to be a member of. I never expected to have a handicap parking pass in my 30s.

Being thrown into this world made me realize a couple of things. One, I learned something about what it feels like to be a part of a community that is not the majority. It gave me a different window into that experience. Two, it made me realize that no matter how hard I try, I’m never going to fully understand the lived experience of someone who is in another category of otherized groups of people. I won’t claim to have a full understanding, but I have a different viewpoint than I would have had without these experiences.”

On how challenges are relative and only internally defined:

“People will start to say to me, ‘My hip is really hurting.’ And then they’ll stop and say, ‘I’m so sorry, that’s nothing compared to what you’ve dealt with.’ I hear this all the time: ‘I’ve got this challenge. No, wait, I shouldn’t even say this to you.’ Even though it’s well intended, I find serious flaw in that thinking. First of all, nobody wants to win the lottery for having the worst problems. Nobody wants to hear, ‘You win: your problems are worse.’

But even more importantly, challenge is so relative because it’s infinitely dimensional. No one knows what your support system is, what resilience you’ve had the opportunity to build or to not build, or what you value most in life. For instance, if someone loses their hair to chemotherapy, that might be much harder on somebody who’s always had beautiful hair as part of their identity versus someone who’s always hated their hair. No one knows how much you value that particular dimension of life. I could name a hundred of these frames, because it is all so relative. So don’t feel shameful about sharing something that’s hard for you. Don’t default to believing that someone else’s challenges are harder. Challenge is relative and depends on so many things. You just can’t compare, and it’s not healthy to do so: it’s another road to nowhere.

Here’s my own little example of not comparing: I always have finger pain because having an extreme version of Raynaud’s Syndrome is one of the common traits of my specific autoimmune disease. My fingers have been in pain on and off for over a decade, lacking the necessary blood flow to keep them warm and high-functioning. I will get skin ulcers on the tips of my fingers or lose part of a fingernail from time to time. You would assume annoyances in your fingers would pale in comparison to having half a leg or an incision across my entire chest from a lung transplant. But on many days, it’s actually been worse. I doubt many people would guess that pain comparison correctly. It just shows you cannot know about somebody else’s challenges. That’s why I find it helpful and connective to talk to other people about what we’ve collectively learned even though our challenges are very different. I heard a profound notion the other day: I may not know your specific pain, but I know pain. How very true for so many of us.”

On navigating hardship through acceptance and beyond:

“The first thing is to know that it’s inevitable that hardship will happen and second, you will despise it. Third, it’s about coming to acceptance. Acceptance is the bottom of the pyramid of dealing with hardship, and even getting to that point is a huge challenge.

Once you can accept and even embrace that a hardship ‘is what it is’ and it’s not going to change, you then have two choices: to either dwell in a negative cycle or to try to create something beneficial out of it. If you can arrive to those points of acceptance, and get your brain in a place where you can spin something good out of it, beautiful things can happen.

I’ve gone through this cycle two big times and many little times. I’ve learned so much about how to make those pathways a little shorter and a little easier that I want to share with others. By no means is it easy: it’s very difficult. But if you know the path, it makes walking it slightly easier. I’ve found doing so is much better than the alternative.”

On why perspective is “the most powerful untapped resource”:

“Here’s a visual metaphor for perspective. Imagine an amazing pool of fresh water that’s the perfect temperature for drinking. It’s a perfectly clear, beautiful mountain stream. We all thirst for that, but we only get to sample little teaspoons here and there. We don’t normally choose when we sample those, because we usually only sample perspective in reaction to other people’s trauma, struggles, and pain. So every once in a while, we’ll hear something that makes us taste that water and all of our surface level worries dissipate. Then we think, ‘Wow, that puts things in perspective.’

I’ve found this water is always available as a resource to us, but you have to choose to walk over, bring a cup and drink. You have to actively do things. For example, the metaphorical walking over is sitting and thinking, ‘this situation looks like a horrible situation, but there’s a thousand things that are going right’ or it looks like asking ‘how could this be worse?’ That’s picking up your cup and taking active steps towards that water. But if you’re the kind of person passively sitting back and waiting on someone to throw you a teaspoon or shower you with a couple of drops, you’re not ever going to really tap into the resource of perspective. It’s actively doing even these exercises that seem so mundane and so silly. But in practice, in the wake of hardship, that’s exactly where the magic happens. You just have to understand how to walk over to that amazing pool, time and time again.

It’s almost like someone saying, ‘You want to be healthier? Exercise and eat well.’ That may be the simplest advice in the world. But it’s very different to hear it than to do it. It’s the same with sustaining perspective.”

On the power of putting perspective into practice:

“I have so many visual, visceral memories of being alone in middle of the night in hospital bathrooms in my rawest, most lonely moments. And I would say aloud, ‘How could this be worse? What is going right?’ And I would make my brain answer the question, and it was so enlightening and powerful, but very simple. It’s very hard and humbling to do that in those raw, raw, raw moments. But it is about making yourself feel vulnerable and silly, and go through the process anyway.

I would come up with things that would buy me enough resource to make it through the night or next day. I would think things like, ‘What’s the worst thing that can happen here?’ Many of those answers could get pretty dark. But then I would say, ‘Okay, let’s think about how that would be.’ I would let myself go to those worst places and instead of fear them, I would walk in those rooms in my mind. Sometimes, I would just try to let go of the control I was trying to grasp and do the thing we proverbially say, ‘Give it to God.’ That helped me more than words can say.

In short, I’ve found that you have to continually work at shifting your perspective to keep your brain focused on anything but those enticing negativity traps. The more you can focus on creating neural pathways that are more positive in nature, the more you train your brain to get better at this type of thinking.

I think it’s also important to add that you don’t have to be perfectly positive every day. There have been countless days where I have wailed or banged my fists or struggled to get out of bed. That’s ok too. But you have to find a way to keep moving forward, and actively shifting how you see things is incredibly powerful in the midst of hardship.”

On overcoming resistance to practicing perspective:

“First of all I would invite any individual to introspectively ask: what stops you from actually exercising your perspective? One suspicion is that I think people feel dumb doing these very simple things because they do seem so mundane and unhelpful until you actually do it. I think some people dismiss that sheer thought of the power of doing this stuff, but it can only be experienced by doing it.

I’m guessing, too, that negativity bias can take over. It’s taken over in my life so many times. You have to hold off that negativity bias to even create the space to ask these silly questions. That negativity bias is an 800 pound gorilla. It will come at you. Your brain is so wired for that. Just having the fortitude to fight that off for five minutes is no small thing.”

On the strategy of “borrowing perspective” in hardship or everyday life:

“When you’re in the middle of hardship or facing a certain fear, you can try ‘borrowing perspective’ from anybody who has gone through a similar situation and arrived to the other side. From where the stand, you can borrow their perspective and say, ‘If they can do this, I can.’

For example, witnessing what Amy Purdy had overcome and achieved with her two prosthetic legs (from world champion para-snowboarder to Dancing With the Stars finalist) became a lifeline of inspiration after my boating accident. I could see beyond the moment I was in. But consider even the more common experience of having a baby. When I was pregnant for the first time, along with all the excitement, I had some fear of childbirth. But I would remind myself that billions of women have had babies throughout history. If so many women had done it before me, surely I could.

There’s also ‘borrowing perspective’ as a daily practice so you don’t slip into taking things for granted. This is harder. When you’re in hardship, you’re searching for coping mechanisms. But when you’re going about your daily life, and things are going well, we often just coast. In those coasting moments, borrowing perspective would be to pause and recognize things we often don’t give any thought to, such as, ‘Wow, I live in America today instead of a war torn country’ or ‘I was just able to walk into the baseball game with functioning legs and lungs.’

Right now, we’re talking about my hard stuff, but I have a million blessings. For example, I grew up in a home where my parents loved each other and offered me love unconditionally. I have a wonderful husband and two amazing kids. I’ve always loved my job. There are a million gifts that we take for granted simply because we haven’t had to experience the broken version of that experience.”

On why authenticity and vulnerability are essential to leadership:

“It’s a trap to believe there is a certain way we are supposed to be to be successful. For example, we equate leader mentality to an ‘early bird gets the worm’ mentality. I’m a night owl. My hours are more bartender than typical Corporate America. You’re supposed to wear heels. I can’t wear heels. You’re supposed to not talk too much about your kids. That’s the most important thing in my life!

The more you can just be who you are, the more powerful that is. Whatever it is that you have that’s different, it can be something that truly makes you unique, but you can’t be scared of it. You have to let that difference shine and that takes courage and vulnerability. Being vulnerable feels like being exposed, being naked, letting someone see that part of yourself that you don’t think you should show. But that’s where your authenticity will make others appreciate you even more and where you can find your special sauce to add value to any team or situation. It’s important to find the space where you’re comfortable and have that courage to bring in more of yourself.

For myself, I’ve always been the same person whether 10:00 at night or 10:00 in the morning at work. But I’ve learned it’s also about sharing the ugly parts of yourself in the right setting, in the right way: that’s where connection happens.

Being vulnerable is connective. When someone has been vulnerable with you, you trust them more. When you take the lead and show vulnerability, it engenders trust. I have seen this so many times, and most recently, after speaking in a manufacturing plant in Kansas City. Most of the audience were men and they were telling me the most beautiful, vulnerable things that had happened in their life, because I threw it all out there first.

Vulnerability is a flywheel. Somebody has to take the lead to get it moving.”

On letting who you truly are authentically guide your path:

“There’s this type A personality model we’ve pedestaled where you have the calendar, menu and schedule planned. To some degree, that behavior is necessary and awesome. If you’re authentically that kind of person, great. But it’s also okay if you’re not.

When I was starting, people used to give me the advice to map out my career. Later, they’d advise to do three years of this project or take this lateral move to gain an experience for promotion. I would secretly dismiss that advice, even as a young professional, because it was never my mentality to do those things. I would also borrow perspective by looking at others who’d never worked in that division, or sought out a masters degree, or whatever – and were doing great. Today, I don’t have a masters and I didn’t do jobs I hated. I was in an environment of great mentors: being in fertile soil helps.

No one set of advice works for everybody. You don’t have to take advice that you don’t want to take. There are things that will unfold for you that maybe no one else could have predicted. Let that happen. Just be you, let go a bit, and see what happens.

Everyone is going to give you advice. Even in medicine, I’ve learned that if you ask ten different people the same question, often you’re going to get two to ten different answers. Many questions don’t have a precise singular answer. Now, if you get ten out of ten same answers, maybe you should follow that advice. But if you get nine one way and one the other, then you get to weigh your decision with that in mind. I think there’s a lot of power in that. But it’s vulnerability inducing to even entertain those thoughts.”

On the power of being able to let go of the plan and embrace the now:

“When I was 20 years old, I thought the perfect age to get married would be 26, the perfect age to have a baby would be 28, and the perfect place to live would be X…none of those things happened. That movie did not play out. Now when I look back at my life, I didn’t know the perfect age to do this or the right way to do that.

People say ‘this is more than I ever imagined.’ That can absolutely be true, but it can only be true if you let go of your preconceived notion of how it should be and realize there is no perfect plan. There’s only what actually plays out and how you embrace that. But there’s so much value in letting go of what was and being okay with what is.

Also, it’s human nature to compare. But if you’re going to compare, don’t let your brain compare things to a state that you can’t control. You can’t control when you fall in love, when someone hires you, or the result of a physical accident. So do not let yourself compare to some preconceived notion or some past, because it is another circular reference to the path to nowhere. It’s fruitless and futile. You will never be able to get out of that hole.

Rather, what you can do is say that didn’t happen. This did happen. What can I attach myself to now? To use a metaphor, imagine you’re swimming down the river because you fell out of a boat. You might want to be back in that boat, but that’s not an option anymore. So you better grab a tree to hold onto. May you’ll find that tree is cool and beautiful, and you’re going to hang out there. But you can’t compare to things that you thought had to happen. I’ve failed many times, but the consciousness of this line of thinking is what’s important.”

On learning how to trust in and surrender to your unique life path:

“I’ve had to work really hard on growing my trust, and for me that means having faith. Of five brands of belief I have identified that have supported me, that’s the most important one. It’s so easy to say it, but very different to really open yourself up to that relationship where God is truly in control. For me, trusting really is letting go and realizing that there is a path I’m supposed to walk. I don’t get to pick that path, but I can find joy in walking it, no matter what it looks like to others.

Years ago, we had the traveling Titanic exhibit in Kansas City. When you walked in, you received a secret little envelope. At the end, you were told your fate based on math. Are you someone who drowned? Are you someone who survived? It was just based on the math of the event and the math of the people walking through.

God handed me this little secret envelope that I’ve only read 20% of or 40% of, or who knows, and I don’t get to change what’s in that envelope. But the more I embrace what’s in that envelope and realize that once again, I’m not in control, the better everything is. It’s believing deep down that whatever it is, it’s going to be okay, so give up the control. I’m constantly reminding myself to go back and find my center there. And when I do, it is the most freeing feeling ever.”

Interviewed by Aimee Hansen

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Can Personal Setbacks Enhance Your Leadership? Turning Challenges Into Growth

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personal setbacks and leadersWhen you’re going through a hard time in your personal life, you’re probably not thinking about how it might impact your career. It’s often hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’re dealing with a personal setback. But, going through such things can uniquely position you to excel in leadership roles – especially as a woman.

There’s no question that women in leadership roles often have to deal with unique, specific challenges. Being able to overcome those hurdles can help you foster enhanced leadership skills and empathy.

With that in mind, knowing how to connect personal setbacks to career growth can make a big difference in how you carry yourself in a professional setting, and how you move forward in a leadership position.

The Overlap Between Personal and Professional

Striking a healthy work-life balance is important for everyone. But, it can feel like walking a tightrope when you’re a woman in leadership. Unfortunately, gender bias still exists in many industries, and it can cause many women to feel guilty about spending too much time at home. You might rush to complete milestones at work, or feel a sense of competition. You might even feel guilt for taking the time to practice self-care.

It’s important to let go of that guilt. There’s a greater overlap between the things you learn at home and what you can use at work than you might think. For example, if your family has struggled with financial difficulties in the past, you can use the skills you learned from overcoming those issues to help your business manage its finances, too. Managing personal finance challenges can help with:

  • Fostering resilience
  • Being financially savvy
  • Strategic thinking
  • Decision-making abilities

When you have experience with financial setbacks, you’ll feel more comfortable and knowledgeable talking about them. That can help to break the taboo around money in an office setting, and allow for more transparency when it comes to your business’s financial situation. It can also help remind us that when we face challenges on a personal level, we gain spiritual wisdom that we can bring with us into the workplace too.

Mental Health Awareness

Over 40 million adults in the U.S. deal with anxiety. Millions more struggle with depression, and a variety of other mental health conditions. While the stigma surrounding mental health has lessened over the years, it can often still be found in the workplace. Some people are afraid to talk about their mental health issues, so they struggle in silence. Too many business settings don’t do enough to promote mental health and create a safe working environment that allows people to open up about their struggles.

When we normalize conversations concerning topics like anxiety, depression, and burnout in the workplace, we begin to see just how many people are affected — and we may even begin to see how these issues might be stemming from cultural and systemic factors, rather than personal ones. When you realize that some of these struggles are less about personal factors than you originally first perceived, you’ll naturally want to create mentally healthier work environments. All of this helps support professional workplaces that support personal health and wellbeing.

If you’ve dealt with mental health issues in the past – or you’re still dealing with them – you can use those issues to be a better leader and create a healthier workplace environment. It should come as no surprise that your job can actually have an impact on your mental well-being. Fostering a workplace that promotes mental health awareness can help with things like:

  • Employee productivity
  • Boosted morale
  • A sense of trust and safety for employees

When you’re in a leadership role, people will look to you for the “green light” when it comes to certain issues. If you’re willing to open up about your own mental health struggles, it will be easier for others to come forward and do the same. When word gets out that your work environment has completely slashed the taboo nature of mental health issues, it’s likely that you’ll increase employee retention while becoming a more desirable business for new hires.

The Importance of Empathy

Overcoming personal challenges can help to boost your emotional intelligence. Specifically, it can make you more empathetic. You might not think that’s an important skill to have, especially as a woman who wants to be taken seriously in the workforce. But, empathy goes a long way – especially in a leadership position. In fact, it’s one of the top leadership qualities, as vulnerable, empathetic leaders are better able to:

  • Be completely and entirely honest with themselves and others, even when it’s difficult.
  • Take creative risks and step outside of their comfort zones.
  • Embrace imperfection as an important part of learning and growing.

Leaders who have overcome mental health issues, themselves, are naturally more likely to be empathetic. Taking care of a family and dealing with the daily challenges and setbacks that arise from being a leader at home can also carry over into the workplace. Leaders who empathize aren’t showing weakness. Rather, they are able to identify the feelings of the people working for them. Not only does that help with self-awareness, but it makes them more thoughtful, conscientious, and confident in their decisions.

One example of empathy-as-a-strength can be shown in the form of cultural wealth — more specifically resistant capital. Resistant capital is “the inherited foundation and historical legacy of communities of color and marginalized groups in resisting inequality and pursuing equal rights.” This includes resisting stereotypes that you don’t identify with. If you’ve ever had to integrate from another culture, you understand how hard it can be to feel like an outsider — and you can bring that knowledge as a strength to your workforce.

Leaders who are empathetic understand the needs of those who work for them. They’re more likely to build healthy relationships with those people, fostering a more positive, communicative work environment.

Emotional intelligence is more than just a soft skill. Take the same empathy you might show to your family and friends and carry it over into the workplace.

Everyone faces challenges in their personal lives. Using those setbacks to enhance your leadership can be an effective way to “humanize” yourself in the business world while still gaining the respect you deserve. Learn from your setbacks instead of letting them bring you down. They can help you become the leader you were born to be.

By: Indiana Lee is a passionate writer from the Pacific Northwest, specializing in business operations, leadership, and marketing. Connect with her on LinkedIn.

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The Power of Resilience

power of resilience

Guest contributed by Aleksandra Scepanovic

According a report by American Express, “Behind the Numbers: The State of Women-Owned Businesses in 2018,” as of last year there were 12.3 million women-owned businesses in the U.S. alone.

This is an incredible accomplishment, considering there were just over 400,000 back in 1972. Women are increasingly becoming more prominent in the business world. However, there is still plenty of room for improvement.

While it is encouraging to think that these numbers have risen because women are gaining new opportunities to follow their dreams and pursue career paths they love and enjoy, the harsh reality is that this is not always the case. While there are many factors as to why women are apt to start their own business, the decision could also be a result of work-life imbalance, gender discrimination, or the pay gap women often face in corporations. Growing up, women are told that they are equal to their male counterparts, that they can be whoever they want to be; but just past the childhood days exists an undeniable level of pressure that all women face, no matter their journey.

As women, we are used to society’s expectations of what and who we should be, both in our personal lives and in our careers. This pressure may lead to the feeling or need to be successful in ways different than those experienced by men. We are often faced with pressures to look a certain way and act a certain way, and we experience ageism differently than men. Resilience is defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness” – something women know a little about. Resilience is a quality that is not only important in your personal life, but is also pivotal to being a successful business owner and leader.

Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, conducted a study called the Shame Resilience Theory: A Grounded Theory Study on Women and Shame. The main purpose of the study was to determine how and what makes women feel a sense of shame, or what makes them feel unworthy of acceptance. While there is no universal trigger or answer, the study concluded that, “The sociocultural expectations are narrow interpretations of who women are ‘supposed to be,’ based on their identity (e.g., gender, race, class, sexual orientation, age, religious identity) and/or their role (e.g., mother, employee, partner, group member). These sociocultural expectations are often imposed, enforced, or expressed by individuals and groups (e.g., self, family, partners, friends, coworkers, children, membership groups).”

This feeling of “shame,” as Brown describes, does not stop in the workplace, and can even amplify. Women often have to work harder and work smarter than their male counterparts. On average, a woman will earn about 80 cents for every dollar earned by a man – a disappointing statistic that many of us have heard time and time again. Unfortunately, one which doesn’t always change for women entering the entrepreneurial world. In many cases, gender discrimination may not only affect your paycheck, but might also affect the funding you receive to start your business in the first place. A study by Boston Consulting Group found that “Investments in enterprises founded or co-founded by women averaged at around $935,000, less than half of the $2.1 million on average invested within those founded by men.”

Women face many challenges they need to overcome throughout the course of their careers, challenges that can significantly differ from those men encounter. A report by Senator Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire titled “Tackling the Gender Gap: What Women Entrepreneurs Need to Thrive,” indicates that the three greatest struggles female entrepreneurs face are lack of role models and mentors, the gender pay gap, and unequal access to funding and venture capital.

While this may seem disheartening, there can be light at the end of the tunnel. With each year that goes by, more women are showcasing their resilience and becoming successful business owners and leaders, proving the upward trend in female-founded firms is a result of hard work and determination to thrive.

According to the same previously referenced study by Boston Consulting Group, “For every dollar of funding, startups founded by women generate 78 cents, while startups founded by men generated less than half, at only 31 cents.” While proving that companies founded by women are typically more capable of thriving than male-founded firms, the number of female-owned businesses has doubled in 20 years, as has their revenue. Still, while vast improvements have been made over the last century, there is even more room to grow.

Throughout history, women have had to prove their worth and their place in leadership roles, but the power of resilient women is that we are not deterred by unfavorable statistics, or by being categorized as “successful” or “unsuccessful” based on old school ideals. Though the word resilience can be easily defined, the act of resilience cannot. It is a practice that we must work at each day, and continue to strive for to pave the way for some even more resilient women in the future.

Aleksandra Scepanovic is Managing Director of Ideal Properties Group, a leading residential real estate firm specializing in premier Brownstone Brooklyn and Manhattan neighborhoods in New York City.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

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Resilience: Why “Storms” Are Critical to Leadership Development

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People-clapping-1024x681By Nneka Orji

Resilience is important. The late Elizabeth Edwards, American attorney and health care activist once said: “Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before.” In today’s world of relentless innovation, changing business models, increasing expectations from the workforce, and market surprises, accepting our new and evolving realities through resilience building is now more important than ever.

In a 2014 report by Sarah Bond and Dr. Gillian Shapiro, 99.9% of the respondents said that resilience was “important” to their career success with 56% saying it was “essential”. A separate survey over 520 executives across 20 countries found that 71% of them rated resilience as “extremely important in determining who to retain”. Yet resilience is hard; there is no recipe or quick fix to building resilience. While numerous surveys have found that resilience is a common trait amongst some of the most effective leaders – not just in business but education, politics and other fields – there is no simple handbook to guide aspiring leaders around how to develop resilience. Bond and Shapiro found that only 10% of their research participants felt that their organisations placed enough emphasis on resilience being a differentiating factor in career success. For business leaders looking to identify and develop talent this is important; future leaders who are able to deal with surprises and setbacks, learn key lessons and readjust in a dynamic landscape are more likely to lead effectively and ensure business success.

Women: the (slight) resilience edge

Bond and Shapiro set out to understand if there were any differences between the way man and women view resilience. Surprisingly, they found little difference; 62% of men said they wanted to be more resilient compared to 71% of women. Across both groups, 53% saw themselves as resilient “all or almost all of the time” in their workplace. This subtle difference is supported by the findings of the aforementioned Accenture survey; the leaders identified women as slightly more resilient with 53% reporting women to “very to extremely resilient” compared to 51% identifying men in this category.

While the report didn’t identify significant differences in how resilience is viewed, the researchers found that women were seen to be doing more to support their female colleagues in developing their resilience through specific programmes that broaden and enhance the roles and projects they are assigned, and preparing them for more senior positions. This is encouraging news given the recalibration of gender representation required at most organisations.

The resilient leader

So if both men and women want to become more resilient and better leaders, and women are actively supporting other women to become more resilient, why is it so hard for organisations to develop more resilient leaders?

This year’s Roffey Park report found that organisations need to focus more on “talent preparedness” – investing in a combination of formal and experiential development to address the leadership capability deficit. Aspiring leaders too, many of whom are millennials now, are looking for opportunities to become the best leaders they can be yet organisations are falling short of their expectations around development opportunities. According to a recent Deloitte survey, 63% of millennials believe that their leadership skills “are not being fully developed”.

It’s time for organisations and today’s leaders to act on this insight. Crises come and go, and understanding that the skills required to whether the storms are not just essential to future survival of organisations but also critical to personal development. The life coach and author Tony Robbins describes great leaders as those who “inspire themselves and others to do, be, give and become more than they ever thought possible.” We can all point to leaders who aren’t just good but great; they continue to lead and inspire despite the challenges thrown at them and seem able to bounce back even when it seems impossible.

Building up the resilience bank

The good news is that resilience is “learnable”.Steven Snyder’s HBR article highlights why it is so important to get it right and how others have done so in the past by maintaining a positive outlook, accepting that learning through challenging situations is part of the journey, and acknowledging that it will be difficult.

While there’s no handbook with all the answers, there are a few steps aspiring leaders can take to start building up their resilience bank.

Engage with resilient leaders: Business leaders have good reason to focus on resilience when designing leadership development programmes but also by encouraging senior leaders to share their war stories – the experiences and day to day challenges which help them build up their resilience. Of course aspiring leaders also have a proactive role to play in identifying and engaging with those leaders that inspire them to understand how they too can expose themselves to key developmental opportunities.

Practice mindful resilience: Managing challenging situations and demonstrating resilience requires a strong sense of self awareness and mental control. As Harvard Business School professor Bill George reaffirmed through his interview with the Dalai Lama, practicing mindfulness is a key part of building resilience. Some military schools have developed training programmes which focus on resilience building through mental strength exercises.

Be open to learning (and vulnerability): The founders of Global Health Corps (GHC), a non-profit organisation, wrote in last year’s Stanford Social Innovation Review about the importance of creating “vulnerable community” in building resilience – a community in which programme participants felt able to open up to their peers which facilitated the learning process. As for results, “85% of GHC alumni report that their fellowship experience improved their resiliency skills”.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and keep going.

Career storms – the difficult project, the challenging market environment, the missed promotion – tend to come when we least expect them, so being able to see beyond the immediate challenge is key. It is how you choose to react to these situations that define your long term career success. Persistence and a continued commitment to learning means that we are better able to deal with these surprises.

In the words of one of the best known leaders – Martin Luther King Jr. – “the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” It is our ability to bounce back from challenges and obstacles that will determine the extent of our success.The next generation of leaders deserve the chance to build their resilience and becoming more inspiring and effective leaders for future leaders.

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