Tag Archive for: questions

executive presence and communicationLet’s argue you are already well-versed in effective communication skills as a leader. You’ve cultivated self-awareness and emotional intelligence. You listen actively. You are mindful of body language and nonverbal cues. You consider different perspectives. You ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue and paraphrase to ensure understanding.

You begin with clear communication objectives. You know your audience and your context and hone your communications strategy. You lead with the point rather than bury it. You are clear and concise, as well as conscientious of tone. You substantiate your argument. You bring in storytelling. You anticipate questions, challenges, and counter-arguments.

You cultivate psychological safety. You set clear objectives, priorities, agendas, and roles. You steward the conversation and invite and encourage feedback through different avenues. You ensure all team members are clear on decisions, actions, responsibilities, and timing.

So far so good, right? Undoubtedly, you can witness areas where you could improve your command of these skills. And let’s go further. Because powerful communication also involves how effectively you convey leadership, including how you shape the quality of conversations happening around you.

1. Leverage the Pause

One of the quickest ways you can diminish the power of your voice or your stance is to steal the space immediately after you made a point. Because truth needs room to land.

There is leadership gravitas in the pause that can happen before, between, or after your words, but too often we are the first to steal it out of discomfort with silence. Let your words land. Holding your presence through the pause conveys being grounded in your leadership without seeking immediate validation, slipping in caveats, or rushing to move on.

If you’re opening the room for questions, a ten second pause (far longer than may feel comfortable) can even activate engagement. It shows executive composure and provides processing time for others to formulate better thoughts.

Equally, practice letting the words of others land for you. That pause before response conveys emotional intelligence and has the potential to improve decisions.

2. Cultivate the Language of Candor Around You

“As you arrive to a real senior level, you will start to understand that people are going to have a hard time disagreeing with you. They tend to give you filtered information,” advised Geline Midouin. “If you know that, you can be much more deliberate and intentional in terms of how you ask questions, to make sure that you’re getting the real story and understanding different perspectives.”

Not everyone has the guts to speak truth to power, so as you rise as a leader, try to become aware of how others edit themselves around you. Who used to challenge you and no longer does? Who no longer shares their half-baked ideas? What assumptions are not scrutinized?

Recognize that people may contort in subtle ways to stay in your favor. At this juncture in your journey, you have an opportunity to elevate communication to improve the quality of ideas, thoughts, and opinions that circulate in your presence.

In HBR’s “How the Best Leaders Shape Conversations,” authors Alison Wood Brooks and Andy Atkins iterate the importance of building an environment that invites candor: “Leaders play a critical role in creating the conditions for candid conversation. They model intellectual humility, invite disagreement, acknowledge uncertainty, and respond thoughtfully when others raise difficult issues.”

As a leader, you set the norm for asking questions that draw out unvoiced perspectives, dissenting points of view, and concerns brewing beneath the surface. Equally, how you respond to difficult and challenging perspectives matters.

Responding with curiosity sets a tone that invites people to raise and share diverse or controversial viewpoints: shutting them down or responding with defensiveness discourages the sharing that leads to fertile friction.

“The most consequential leadership failures are often not caused by bad ideas—they’re caused by important truths that never get voiced,” writes Brooks and Atkins.

Example phrases to encourage disagreement or candor may include:

  • “What viewpoints are we missing?”
  • “What would be a contrary point of view?”
  • “What evidence would change our current approach?”
  • “The risk I would see with that approach is…”
  • “Can anyone make a counter-argument against my recommendation?”
3. Become Aware of Your “Sender” and “Receiver” Tendencies

No matter how good of a speaker or listener you may perceive yourself to be, and listening skills are one place where we often overestimate ourselves, here’s a newsflash: nobody (yes, nobody) comes to communication from a neutral place.

At the very least, you are oriented to the tendencies and biases of your particular behavioral DISC profile, which may alter by context. You may be prone to decisiveness and impatient for the punchline. You may be socially expressive and driven by relationship influence. You may be inclined to avoid confrontation and seek harmony. You may be oriented to prioritizing details and analysis.

You are most likely a mix of qualities, but your prevalent tendencies have both strengths and pitfalls, both as a speaker and equally—if not more crucially as you rise up the ranks—as a recipient of incoming information. For example, perhaps you are inclined to dismiss a good idea for the way its packaged, and that’s a blindspot.

Becoming self-aware of your behavioral profile and communication style, and knowing how your inclinations intensify under stress, is critical for leaders who oversee team dynamics.

Try out these receiver challenges:

  • When someone says something you disagree with, don’t formulate your response until you can state their argument in a way they’d say is fair.
  • Next time you hear what you perceive to be a bad idea, ask what value could be harvested from the thinking.
  • When you receive criticism you don’t like, ask whether there’s anything useful to glean
4. Demonstrate the Difference Between Influence And “Airtime”

The most powerful contribution in the room is not always the one that dominated the conversation or occupied the most airtime. In fact, as you rise in leadership, your success depends more on your ability to listen, to distill, to discern, to diffuse, and to direct. Steering the dialogue and drawing out necessary viewpoints from the team is an art.

While it should arguably always be so, the value of your voice in the room is not measured by how much you contributed to a discussion, but what changed as a result of your contribution. Communicative effectiveness is not about performance but impact.

How well did you set the objectives and parameters to stay on topic? How did you provoke thought? How did you elevate the quality of the conversation? How did you steer through conflict and complexity to innovative thinking and solutions?

Questions are helpful to gather information and insight, but they can also be leveraged as a leadership instrument. The ability to formulate a powerful question is invaluable to steering teams, and indeed can even become part of your leadership brand.

Examples of questions that may open and redirect:

  • What would have to be true for this idea to work?
  • What assumptions are we making here?
  • What potential outcomes are we not considering?

As you rise in leadership, your communication sets a cultural tone and model for others, not only in how they approach you, but in catalyzing how conversations unfold all around you.

By: Aimee Hansen is a writer, facilitator, and co-author of This Book Is a Retreat. She has contributed to The Glass Hammer for over a decade. 

Image via Shutterstock

For many women in senior management positions the workload becomes stable and the opportunities for new and original work start to show up less often.

Here are some questions that you may ask yourself to know if now is the time to ask for more from your job, and what direction you can choose with more awareness.

1. What will my life be like in 5 years if I keep this job?

Often women in senior positions have made it to the glass ceiling of their profession. Is that you? If you were promoted, what is the level of responsibility and what are the daily tasks of this new position? Is this something that you are willing to take on? Is the level of salary increase over the next 5 years in this position something that you are excited about receiving or is it lacklustre? According to 2018 data by SHRM, most executive positions only expected a 3% salary increase, and no one knows what the 2019 forecast. Is working in this job creating difficulties in any other area of your life? Personally? Physically? Relationships? Health? Mental Health? Note down what impressions that you have about keeping this job in all of these factors.

2. What will my life be like in 5 years if I don’t keep this job?

What if you could decide for yourself what your life will be like if you don’t keep this current job? What are the other opportunities for employment? What marketplace demand is there for your skills and what salaries are being offered to seasoned entrants? What is your value proposition as a candidate, how will you shine? Could you choose to take time off right now and develop your own consulting business and become profitable competition for your previous job?

3. What do I love about this job?

Challenge yourself to write 25 things that you actually love about the job that you are in. A long time ago I heard the 80/20 rule applied to work. If 80% of your job is taken up with things that you enjoy and feel masterful about and only 20% of your job is not, then you are in a sustainable career for you. If it is the opposite, it may be time to consider a change. What else is possible for you to love about this job that isn’t obvious at the moment? Sometimes we get bogged down and don’t actually ask for the job to be enjoyable.

4. Is now the time to change?

Jumping back to fantasizing about winning a lottery or having an astonishing inheritance come in so you can retire from working altogether, which of course would be wonderful, realistically is now the time to actually ask for more from your job? What are you aware of politically from the company structure? Could you be promoted? Could you ask for more responsibility and get a pay raise or more benefits that would add to your life? If quitting and opening your own firm or business is attractive, is now the time?

What if it’s possible to ignite a fire under your current job and develop it into something more profitable, something that you are excited to arrive at every morning? Asking and answering the above questions will start to point at possible changes that you can make to your job and your life, to increase the level of satisfaction and joy. Yes, it is possible to have both satisfaction and joy at work, and settling for anything less is not an option for me these days.

Guests contributors views are their own and are not affiliated with theglasshammer.com in any way

About the author

Deepa Ramaraj is a Computer Science Engineer turned Health and Wealth Educator. Deepa facilitates workshops for corporate companies to boost sales, to dissolve interpersonal or inter-departmental challenges and to transform the way business is done. These workshops are totally unconventional in approach. She also conducts workshops for individuals about how to receive more money, reduce stress, have better relationships, improve health and upskill as a parent.

the-art-of-asking-questionsBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Pyschologist

I publish theglasshammer to help you excel at work. In 2017 theglasshammer will turn ten. We provide career advice and you can see how other women have climbed to the top, you can catch up on the research and academic studies in a digestible way to know the trends of what is happening for professional women at work, for diversity and inclusion patterns and to consider leadership strategies. However, career advice is just that; advice on how you can do things. Useful for some and not a fit for others and it is important to know what works for you -both personally and in context of where you are working and living.

Coaching on the other hand is about you finding answers to your own questions. We became coaches here, legitimately studied and got qualified as we saw that you can lean in, we saw that systemic work takes time and we now know that there is no method more effective than changing one person to change the world.

One more inclusive male leader changes lives, just as one more woman advancing is a piece of puzzle and if we can help you then you can help others. Criteria mass theory – does it work? We do not know as we are not there yet. I guess what we saw in this election is that by virtue of being a woman, that does not by default make you not sexist. I have discussed this at length in other posts and tune in on Friday December 16, 2016 for a fuller exploration.

Sometimes we just do not know what is going on until we have a coach to help us explore it safely. It is useful to understand the context, to explore the content of the challenge and to then find out a way to safely explore options before taking an action that will help in solving an issue or perhaps it will provide a step in achieving a longer term plan. Your plan, your agenda.

That is why, a coach can play such a unique role in your career trajectory. A mentor gives advice, a sponsor advocates for you but a coach can help you look at what you really want and help you get it.

I have three questions for you to ponder as we wrap up the year:

What do you want in 2017? How can you get it? What does success look like for you in 2017?

These are some questions to think about. Are they your questions? What are your questions? Marilee Adams wrote a clever book which I recommend you ask Santa or your gift bearer of choice to give you this holiday season called “Change your questions, change your life“. Often we just are not asking ourselves the right questions and are busy judging ourselves and others. In your life, in your career and managing your team, are you telling yourself and others the way it is more than questioning what you and others need and want?

We do not know what new macro-level obstacles will appear due to the changes in government in the US and with Brexit in the UK, but we do know that we can examine how we feel, think about what we want, assess risk and talk actions accordingly- at work and in life. You might find it gives you peace of mind in these volatile times.

Theglasshammer is offering a post-election special on coaching- 2 sessions for $399 to be used before Jan 20th.

Nicki Gilmour is a qualified individual/organizational psychologist and founder of glasshammer2.wpengine.com