Tag Archive for: LGBTQ Pride

Erika Karp: Chief Impact Officer, Pathstone

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Erika Karp“I think that capitalism has the potential to be exceptionally productive. That said, we’ve messed it up. We’ve distorted it, and it has become a system that is extractive and exclusive,” says Erika Karp. “I think that’s really unfortunate. I want to be a part of a system that is regenerative and inclusive, and I still believe capitalism can be.”

Karp speaks to a childhood love for economics, why ESG takes the ideology out of sustainable investment and being the first out lesbian on her firm’s Wall Street trading floor.

From the Lemonade Stand to the Trading Room

Karp knew from when she was a child that she loved and wanted to be involved in trading and economics.

“While we don’t think about it that way, trading is part of human nature. As kids, we set up lemonade stands in our driveways in the suburbs of New York. Well that wasn’t quite interesting enough,” she remembers. “So I set up a stand with all my old toys, trinkets and baubles. It wasn’t so much about the money, but trading. I loved it.”

When Erika’s sister borrowed money from her as children, she’d pay Erika back with a little interest. And Karp recalls her father, a securities lawyer, getting off the phone with a client and saying: “It’s so wonderful when you’re involved in the stock market and on the phone, and on your word, on your honor, you can do important transactions with millions of dollars.”

Karp remembers that it was on your honor. From six years old, she didn’t know what a stockbroker was, but she knew she was going to be one.

Willing that Capitalism Can be Regenerative

Karp lists her personal values as nature and animals, access to water and the ocean, access to education and healthcare. Towards the end of her first 25 years on Wall Street, which culminated in her becoming Director of Global Sector Research at UBS Investment Bank, she was asked to manage the Socially Responsible Investment (SRI) team.

“I learned organically that when you look at the critical environmental and social and governance factors in a company, in an industry, in a sector – you really do get a lot of predictive insight into the long-term investing process,” she notes. “Being able to align my investment discipline and belief in capitalism with my personal values through the discipline of ESG analysis felt amazing.”

“To evolve capitalism towards something that’s more regenerative and more inclusive definitely takes a systems approach. That means understanding complexity, nuance and interrelationships.” As momentum gathered, Karp began to do work on sustainable investing in cooperation with World Economic Forum, UN Global Compact and the Clinton Global Initiative.

“As I got more involved, I felt a greater sense of purpose and urgency. So I founded Cornerstone Capital Group, which [was] a purpose-built research-driven impact investment advisor,” she notes. After bringing the business to $1.2 billion in assets under management, she took the plunge to merge her impact-focused firm with Pathstone, an independent registered investment advisory firm focused on families, family offices and institutions. It was a symbiotic merger, with Pathstone having a long-standing background in ESG analysis and a strong interest in expanding its impact orientation.

Taking the Ideology Out of ESG

“Years ago, I remember thinking even the word ‘responsible’ implies ideology, it implies right and wrong,” reflects Karp. “So the world of SRI was ideological, political, divisive and tree-hugging, and it just wasn’t adopted as real investing.”

“To some degree, I was subversive. I came to believe that over the long run, ESG factors are fundamentally important to get more predictive insight in the investment process,” she says. “So I was more pragmatic. I didn’t use words like ‘responsible’ or ‘sustainability’ or barely even ‘climate change’. I would talk ‘energy efficiency’ and ‘reputational risk” and ‘political risk’. I knew it was about sustainability in the back of my mind, but I talked about fundamental things to the industry, because I really believe it’s about investment outcomes.”

“Unlike SRI, on the ESG front, we can analyze factors objectively,” says Karp. “Whether or not this touches my values, does it touch a company’s revenues and costs and risk? It’s beyond being ideological now. It’s about investment.”

Karp was invited to join the Sustainability Accounting Standards Board (SASB), an opportunity to create infrastructure in defining ESG criteria that matters to any given industry or company and offering standards for what to disclose based on material economic and profit outcomes.

“More and more people now understand ESG as an analytical discipline, so that’s great progress,” says Karp. She notes that myth-busting still is an active part of her work – for example busting the myth that ESG factors reduce returns when the research shows not only that this is incorrect, but that integrating ESG factors can potentially increase returns over the long term.

Karp points out the risk of ESG analysis becoming more popular is that it is done flippantly, rather than at a high quality level with skilled managers. She feels ESG practices will evolve with standard disclosure, and technology will become more skilled in discerning the signal from the noise in the data when it comes to informing investment impact and outcomes.

“ESG analysis is a discipline within finance that is the future of finance,” says Karp. “One day, all the different phrases – SRI and impact and values-based and double bottom line, we won’t use them. It’s just investing.”

Being A Leader, Not A Manager

“I would rather be a leader than manager. To be a good leader, you really do have to have a vision, a mission. I want people to feel inspired to get on board with what we’re doing and feel purpose and connection,” says Karp. “Management is structural and systems and measures and accountability are critical. But I don’t love management as much as I love leadership.”

As a lover of learning, Karp also feels she learns most when also teaching. With her wife being a clinical psychologist, she jokes she is clearly not afraid to be analyzed.

“Every leader has flaws. I think I am mostly able to hear about the things that I can do better. I want to evolve, teach and coach,” says Karp. “If I’m not listening or open to input as to how I can be better, that’s not facilitating what I want to do.”

“We have financial capital, human capital and natural capital, which is priceless. The intersectionality of these three forms of capital has to be valued,” she says, when she speaks to her leadership vision. “All need to be respected and they need to become regenerative as opposed to being destroyed or shifted around.”

“We know the value of financial capital – many trillions of dollars,” says Karp. “Could someone tell me the value of the last drop of water? That’s worth more than all the financial capital in existence. That’s how I think of things.”

Being The First Out Lesbian on The Trading Floor

“As a woman, to succeed, you can’t just be good. You have to be great,” says Karp. “I was experienced differently than many of the guys around me. So if I am assertive and articulate, I might have been perceived as pushy or aggressive. It’s hard work to gain respect and credibility while balancing not wanting to be seen as aggressive.”

Karp notes that as a woman, and being potentially more risk-averse, she has found herself and other women to often be more supported in their arguments: “In a conference room full of men, I may not be the first to speak,” she says, “but when I do, I have something to say that affects the thinking of the people in the room.”

“When it comes to being gay, that’s more challenging. While my clients or colleagues are processing ‘she’s gay’, are they also hearing what I’m saying? This is the case with any difference,” says Karp. “Whereas we now know difference has to be embraced, because it’s awesome.”

For the initial years of her career, Karp had been married to a man and was mostly closeted. Even after telling a close colleague, it took her years to come out, and she even recalls jumping out of her first Pride Parade in New York for the couple blocks around where it passed by her office building and jumping back in afterwards.

But after making director, and meeting her future wife, she came out 24 years ago. She did not experience the backlash she feared, and she says even if she had, she would not have cared.

“Even if it did affect my career in some way, I don’t care. I’ll never know. I don’t care, because I feel like being out has made me more productive, more creative, more content than I could have imagined back then,” says Karp. “But it was hard — I was the first out lesbian on a Wall Street trading floor.”

Karp found her firm to be receptive and open to learning, and she made a point of being purposely out and transparent to make it easier for those to come. She introduced a lounge for breastfeeding when she had her babies. Repeatedly, she went to HR at UBS with the questions that had never been asked: about covering costs related to becoming pregnant, about taking leave of absence when her wife carried the baby, about applying the financial assistance with the adoption process for her own children.

“Each time, they came back with a yes,” she says. “There are a lot of benefits we have now that are relatively standard at big investment banks, we didn’t have back then.”

Karp and Sari Kessler have had three marriages. Their first “illegal” wedding was 22 years ago in The BoatHouse in Central Park with their rabbi, friends and family. The second was on the first day that City Hall in Manhattan was giving out marriage licenses for same sex couples, also with her rabbi and this time, with their three daughters present (who are now 19, 16 and 13 years old). The third time was when federal marriage equality rights were granted.

Doing What She Is Meant For

“I know that I’m doing what I ought to be doing, and I know that I’m doing it in an important and honorable way,” says Karp.

She loves nature and water and says margaritas by the ocean with her family would be her happy place. She loves hiking, movies, playing cards and watching her daughters grow up, if far too quickly.

By: Aimee Hansen

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5 Ways To Become a Better LGBTQ+ Ally

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LGBTQ+ allyBeing an LGBTQ+ ally is being an advocate for, and active participant in, building cultural inclusion.

According to Fast Company, “Allyship refers to everyday acts which challenge behavioral norms and support members of marginalized groups through an awareness of the issues being faced by others.”

A team of professors in Harvard Business Review view “allyship” as: “a strategic mechanism used by individuals to become collaborators, accomplices, and coconspirators who fight injustice and promote equity in the workplace through supportive personal relationships and public acts of sponsorship and advocacy. Allies endeavor to drive systemic improvements to workplace policies, practices, and culture.”

Here are five ways to be an accomplice in creating cultural inclusion:

1. Cultivate Awareness and Empathy.

A lot of advice for being a better ally focuses on self-education. But what is the objective of that? Cultivating awareness and empathy.

A prerequisite of support is cultivating awareness of realities and painful disadvantages that you do not have direct experience of: becoming aware of the bias and discrimination and understanding why it causes harm. The absence of having to experience that reality is what we call ‘privilege’.

Allyship requires a willingness to open your eyes and place yourself in another’s shoes as they tell you how that experience exists for them through their eyes.

In their March 2020 survey of 2,000 LGBTQ+ employees and 2,000 straight employees, in partnership with NYC LGBT Community Center, Boston Consulting Group (BCG) found an interesting insight.

Natural allyship is on the rise, because the separation between young LGBTQ people and their straight peers is more narrow. Compared to their older counterparts, straight employees under 35 are 1.6 times more likely to know LGBTQ colleagues, 3.6 times more likely to join ally programs and 3 times more likely to find value in colleagues being ‘out’.

The younger the employee group, the greater the awareness of discrimination. For example, only one-fourth of straight 55-64 year olds witnessed any discrimination in the past year, compared to 57% of their LGBTQ+ peers. But 85% of straight 18-24 year olds witnessed it, much closer to the 91% of LGBTQ+ who also did.

That change reflects a much smaller gap and increased sensitivity in the ability to see certain behaviors as harmful to certain groups, even if you do not belong to the group.

By expanding your exposure to the stories of others, whether through personal connection, documentaries, books or following LGBTQ+ leaders and media, you increase your awareness of the nuances of discrimination and build empathy. Start here: Are you aware of the common microaggressions that LGBTQ+ people experience?

2. Recognize Identity As Personally Defined and Fluid.

As theglasshammer covered recently, social identity is increasingly becoming more personal, intersectional, fluid and multiple. But more than anything, identity is increasingly self-identified. The myriad range of LGBTQ+ experiences are far from universal.

It’s important to realize that language matters, and not make assumptions about the identity or orientation of another person or about what that belonging means for them.

By allowing others to tell you about themselves through their voice, rather than make assumptions, you remain curious and allow others to find their authenticity. An inside-out connection that begins with the internal connection with self, and interacting with others and the world from the space of that inner truthfulness, is the basis of authenticity.

Being conscious of your own language helps to avoid making assumptions, such as using gender-neutral terms like ‘partner’. Honoring a person’s self-identity includes observing the personal pronouns that people choose for themselves and normalizing that choice.

Certain short-cut assumptions are well-conditioned in our brains, so it takes effort to not make those automatic leaps. But when it comes to another person’s life, it’s far more connective to show up by listening to them before you assert assumptions about who they are.

3. Embrace The Growth in Discomfort.

“Allyship is not knowing it all and never making mistakes. That’s impossible,” writes Freddy McConnell, host of Pride & Joy BBC podcast. “It’s putting in the effort and not expecting trophies.”

Allyship requires vulnerability, because you’re going to be clumsy at times. As McConnell writes: “When my friend came out to me as nonbinary, I practised their pronouns in private. Being trans does not imbue me with a special gift for unlearning familiar speech patterns.”

It’s not about getting it right or wrong, but about being open to learning. Before we challenge any unconscious bias, stereotypes or assumptions in the culture around us, we often foremost come to confront the existence of them within ourselves, even as part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Often the roots of rejection (of others and self-rejection) are shame-based beliefs and conditioning. Evolving involves unlearning that cultural conditioning, including the habit to shame ourselves if we get it wrong.

A willingness to be wrong, admit when you’re wrong, own your mistake and be receptive to guidance is what is valuable to a growth mindset and to keeping the focus on your intention of better allyship.

“Allyship is actually more about the mistakes than the things that you do right,” says human rights advocate Maybe Burke, who conducts allyship training on behalf of the Transgender Training Institute. “It’s about how you deal with those mistakes and move forward.”

4. Treat Ally as a Verb.

As suggested in a University College London (UCL) blog: “Think of ‘ally’ as an action rather than a label.” Being an ally is not about whether you consider yourself as an ally, but how you show up in support consistently.

In their research, BCG found that only 34% of straight employees always intervene when they see an encounter. As written in HBR: “When you witness discrimination, don’t approach the victim later to offer sympathy. Give him or her your support in the moment.”

Remaining silent is a comfortable form of passive collusion—it assures that heteronormative assumptions and microaggressions remain invisible, insidious and unchallenged within the fabric of an organizational culture, and puts the emotional burden on LGBTQ+ people to be the only ones calling out these behaviors. It also makes it more vulnerable for them to do so.

Are you willing to speak up when you hear something that feels wrong or discriminatory or does not sit well, inside of your heart? And will you be that voice in the room, even when the LGBTQ+ person may not be in it? Are you being an ally (verbing it) in the moment it’s called for?

5. Uplift LGBTQ+ Voices.

Ultimately, allyship embraces an interdependent lens: a culture is not really working for anybody if it’s not welcoming and nutritive for everybody. An organizational culture needs to be a win-win for all employees on all levels to be maximally effective.

That’s why performative allyship is dangerous—it comes from a place of ego protection, does not integrate win-win and keeps the focus on the appearance of allyship (the guise of doing good) rather than fundamentally being aligned to real organizational change for everyone’s good.

Performative allyship fears losing its position or does not really embrace the point.

Speaking up as an ally is not about speaking over, but raising everyone’s voice. Be willing to ask how you can support your LGBTQ+ colleagues in the way that is most meaningful for them.

While your voice will be needed as an ally, your success will be evidenced in the greater space for marginalized LGBTQ+ voices at the center, not the edges, of the organizational conversation—down to the small and casual daily interactions that form relationships and culture.

(If you are a leader who wants to develop your skills as an inclusive leader to leverage diversity and truly understand the topic as a strategic capability, work with Nicki Gilmour on this topic as she coaches male and female leaders and managers who are growing their skills and evolving their behaviors to lead the current and future top talent of their firms. For an exploratory call, please book a session here.)

By Aimee Hansen

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Caroline Samponaro: Head of Transit & Micromobility Policy, Lyft

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Caroline Sampanaro“One thing I learned through my community organizing training with Midwest Academy is this idea of leadership: that giving power away is how you grow a powerful movement,” says Caroline Samponaro. “I focus on imparting that message to those I manage: how are we giving away power to build a strength of team and community that can be that much more successful?”

Samponaro speaks to how social issues led her to transport and the journey to feeling confident in her voice.

Social Issues Led Her to Transit

An epic bike ride through Japan is what first set Samponaro, an anthropology major at Colombia University at the time, on the unexpected trajectory of working in transportation.

While writing a thesis on the topic of bike activism, she then began to ride around New York City. She discovered an intriguing intersection between social issues and transport. While working as a paralegal, she started to participate in monthly Critical Mass bike rides on Fridays, an action to create safety in numbers for cyclists by reclaiming the streets.

After challenging an arrest while on a bicycle, she co-founded a group, with other law students and lawyers, called The FreeWheels Bicycle Defense Fund, that raised funds and provided legal support to help cyclists challenge their charges.

“I didn’t come into transportation from a planning or policy perspective initially,” says Samponaro. “I was intrigued about the way that it was an intersection point into cities and government and social issues.”

Though she gained entry into law school, she instead began in a working in transportation in a non-for-profit and never looked back. After twelve years at Transportation Alternatives across various advocacy roles, feeling her impact was limited in scale, she decided to move to the private sector with Lyft as the company expanded its scope to include micromobility.

Affecting Inclusion through Transport

Transportation is a pervasive industry because it touches most people on a daily basis, and Samponaro’s work is disrupting the norms we take for granted that weren’t always norms.

“In the U.S., we’ve spent more than a century building the private automobile into everyday life,” notes Samponaro. “There are New York Times articles from the introduction of the automobile era which reflect the public’s uproar over the invasion of these automobiles onto the streets, which traditionally had been used as gathering places, stickball locations, parks, food markets and all the things.”

“We also heavily subsidize single-occupancy vehicle trips to mask the massive toll this form of transportation takes on society – free parking, cheap gas, roads designed entirely for vehicular traffic. It’s not surprising that roughly 77% of Americans drive alone in their car to work. As we face big challenges like climate change, housing, and equitable access to transportation options, removing the single occupancy vehicle from day to day life is part of getting at the root of the problem,” she says. “Lyft as a company is challenging the premise of the single occupancy vehicle through rideshare, our large-scale bikeshare programs and the ways that we provide our customers with trip planning to integrate transit into a daily commute.”

Samponaro’s line of work in micromobility is focused on creating a network of shared bicycles and scooters that functions like a public transportation system. Though bike activism originally drew her into urban biking, she feels her work is helping to remove the identity politics from riding a bike, while overcoming some of the disadvantages of not owning a car.

“At the end of the day, if we’re trying to transform the way people get around, and make it more equitable and safe, it’s important that when people choose to get on a bike to go to work, they’re not making an identity decision,” she notes. “They’re making a practical one, with a tool that is available, easy and affordable.”

Bringing A More Diverse Human Element to Transit

“In the context of biking and micromobility, often the market is orientating itself towards the perspective of a young white male,” Samponaro observes. “I’ve tried to find opportunities, whether through my own perspective or bringing in the perspective of other women, to make sure we’re inserting a broader view into how we plan our programs and welcome people to our systems.”

For example, street designs generally make the thought of shifting to a bicycle both scary and implausible: “You have to be daring, and you shouldn’t have to be thinking about whether you’re risking your life in your transportation choice. That’s not logical, so I think that impacting the systems around people’s choices become the ways you ensure equity and access.”

“It’s important that there are engineers building models and algorithms to make non-driving easier and more attainable,” notes Samponaro. “I’m most excited about my work when I’m bringing the human dimension to that essential product development. Given how much this area impacts the lives of people, having a people-centric perspective on the work of transportation has been an asset that I can bring and that I find great satisfaction in.”

A Culture of Belonging

“Growing up, I just passed as someone that people assumed was straight. So I struggled mostly in the context of work with a feeling of being closeted, unless I chose not to be,” says Samponaro. “Always coming out over and over again has its own challenges.”

Working in a highly male-dominated industry, she has often been the only woman or one of few women at the table. As a married lesbian mother of 4.5 year old twins, the years have brought internal and contextual changes that have helped her feel confident in embodying her own voice.

“Getting to a place of success and building my career trajectory involved feeling bad about myself at times and being slightly insecure that it wasn’t going to go my way, whether it was the raise or the promotion,” she notes. “If I spoke too loudly in the meeting, was I going to be called out for being rude, as opposed to be appreciated for being assertive? As I became more senior, the biggest feedback I received was that I was not being considerate enough in my tone, the kind of feedback that I feel men don’t receive. So the context of being queer just layered on top of those feelings of insecurity and asking if I belonged.”

Samponaro notes that achieving successes is different than having an inherent feeling of ease and belonging: “The overwhelming sense I used to have was as hard as I was trying and as good as I was doing,” she recalls, “I wasn’t going to get asked to that drink or get added to that bike ride or get included.”

Samponaro accredits much of the belonging and encouragement she now feels to being in an environment where there is a dedicated emphasis on building an equitable company culture.

“I have personally grown to a place where I could feel belonging, but then Lyft is just a wonderful place to work in terms of the emphasis it places on creating affinity groups, recognizing people’s differences, celebrating them and creating opportunities for that to be happening all the time,” she observes. “There’s so much structure built around ensuring that the company is doing equitability, right. The intentionality is key.“

Now that she feels more confident in her voice, Samponaro seeks to become the ally that she realizes she may not have dared to be: “ln my attempts to make sure I kept my job and kept growing in the way I wanted to, did I do enough speaking out on behalf of others around me? Did I do enough ally work? I think the answer, probably up until recently, is ‘no.’”

Samponaro is recognized by those who mentor her for her focus and determination to create change through the work she does. She has learned to embrace her sensitivity and capacity for empathy, though at times challenging, as an asset which has enabled her to truly impact the communities she serves.

By Aimee Hansen

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OP-Ed: It’s Never Too Late To Be Your Whole Self

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whole selfWhat can companies and their leaders do to empower each employee to be their whole self? Lori McEvoy, Managing Director and Global Head of Distribution at Jennison Associates, shares what she’s learned over a 30-year career in asset management.

When I started my career in the late 1980s, I could not reveal I was gay (now recognized as lesbian). I knew there were others like me, but they were all closeted, especially some very experienced professionals. My uncle and his long-time companion were gay and, as senior leaders of a major insurance company, they were closeted. They knew they could be legitimately fired for their sexual orientation. They brought women to social and corporate events, lived at separate addresses, and never publicly acknowledged their life together. It was a time when few gay people were open. Even today, just 2% of baby boomers self-identify as LGBT, compared to 16% for Generation Z. When your livelihood and reputation are at stake, you do not say certain things, you stay private and keep your personal life separate from the corporate environment.

That was the example I witnessed growing up. Sexuality was never discussed in my household, and my father was unable to say the obvious truth that his oldest brother was gay. I knew how painful it would be for his daughter to admit the same thing, so I hid my identity from my family for many years. Rather, I believed my personal contributions, scholastic and athletic achievements, and career, would determine my worth. I wanted others to recognize my work ethic and production, not my orientation—especially back then.

Integrating personal and work lives

I met Kathi in 1988 and she quickly became my partner in life. I’m so grateful for our relationship and I’m not sure where I would be without her by my side. We have been a family for more than 30 years. I tell her all the time—borrowing one of the best lines from Jerry Maguire—“You complete me.” We share the same values—we both put family first and share the same foundation of hard work, honest communication, dedication and faith, and we do whatever it takes for us to continue to be close.

It was not easy to come out about our relationship. Both of our families were not accepting, and the last thing we ever wanted was for them to be ashamed of us. We both had attended Catholic grammar school, high school and college. Our inability to reconcile our commitment to each other and our faith with our religious upbringing was devastating.

At work, I was private about my relationship with Kathi. Putting up her picture in my office, which no one else would think twice about, felt like a big deal. Instead, I displayed pictures of my immediate family. If my colleagues knew about my private life, they never spoke about it. Business events typically allowed spouses, and sometimes Kathi would attend with me as a “friend”.

Thankfully, mainstream culture became more open and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community. When Ellen DeGeneres came out on her TV show and subsequently appeared on the cover of Time with the headline, “Yep, I’m Gay,” in 1997, it was a pivotal moment. In 2011, same-sex marriage was legalized in New York. When Kathi and I officially got married in Manhattan, my coworkers held a wedding shower for us.

One event stood out to me as a sign of how the environment was changing—an exchange between my 4-year-old niece (now aged 20) and her pediatrician. The pediatrician asked her what she was doing for the weekend and my niece answered that she was going to her Aunt Lori and Aunt Kathi’s lake house. The pediatrician asked for clarification, “Is it Aunt Lori or Aunt Kathi’s house?” My niece put her hand on her hip and exclaimed: “Girls can get married too, you know!” That was a huge moment for me. A 4 year-old was observant enough to know that Kathi and I were a family. In her mind, we were just another couple.

Today, even though the world has evolved, I still get the standard question at an industry or community event, “What does your husband do?” I just throw it out there, “My wife is CEO of our family and is also a Bikram yoga instructor!”

The importance of leadership by example

Leaders are essential to creating and maintaining a culture in which everyone feels welcome. I think they must lead by example. After I joined Jennison Associates in 2017, Jennison’s CEO Jeff Becker and I had dinner. He began asking me about Kathi. Wow, I thought, he and my wife have so much in common! They are both die-hard NHL hockey fans, having played the sport, and both love boating and waterskiing. I recognized that Jeff and I also had much in common—we spoke easily about family, our upbringing, and caring for our elderly parents. It immediately occurred to me: I’m with the right firm—I can bring my authentic self to work.

I believe diversity, equity and inclusion should embrace all parts of the individual. During a recent firm-wide conversation about mental health, several senior leaders publicly shared how mental health issues have impacted their families. It was incredibly powerful and moving. It also reminded me that everyone’s life has challenges, whether a person seems to be doing well or is just going about their business. You just don’t know. We owe it to our colleagues to check in—especially while we are working remotely. I feel strongly that a firm’s culture should allow us all to be more open.

The benefits of diversity and being true to oneself

And that, to me, is diversity. We all have different perspectives. When those perspectives can come together, they deliver a better outcome for everyone. The world has changed dramatically over the past 50 years, and we need to be open to new ways of thinking for the future. Ultimately, there is room for all of us, and no one should be rejected for offering their time, ideas or knowledge to change things for the better.

I’ve had a real opportunity to lean in and contribute. I am very proud of my participation in Jennison’s newly formed Inclusion Council, where I serve as executive sponsor, and my work with our parent, PGIM, on the Women’s Advisory Council and the recently formed LGBTQ+ Think Tank.

I can only say to young people starting out: Just recognize the importance of being true. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. There will be many opportunities in your career—make sure the one you select aligns with your interests and values. I have had a passion for this business since I joined it three decades ago. Today, I’m sometimes asked when I plan to retire. I answer—I’m only 57! I’m not stepping away anytime soon, especially now that I am being my whole self.

By Lori McEvoy, Managing Director – Global Head of Distribution, Jennison Associates

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Natalie Tucker: Head of Strategy & Operations, Radioligand Therapy

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Natalie Tucker “As a professional golfer, you either hire someone to run the business side of your career, or you run it on your own. I ran my own business, raised nearly a million dollars in capital, hired my whole team and traveled around the world,” says Natalie Tucker. “It was a great experience that taught me a lot about business.”

Tucker shares some unique insights from the golf course to apply in the workplace, why you should focus on influencing the influencers and the price she once paid for feeling unable to bring her whole self to work.

From the Golf Course to Health Care

Tucker was a professional golfer for ten years before she retired her golf clubs at the competitive level and moved into healthcare.

Though she realizes being a professional athlete, especially as a woman, is an inspiration to others to embrace your gifts and follow your dreams, she also felt compelled to find avenues to more directly impact the lives of others. Having been surrounded by the business of health as a golfer, she was magnetized to go into healthcare while leveraging the science-inclined side of herself.

“Being a professional athlete was fun and entertaining, but for me, it felt like something was missing. In my work now, I feel I am helping people and bringing value to them,” says Tucker. “The patients benefit from our work, and you really feel like you’re making a difference.”

After a period of working in a company that focused on artificial intelligence for skin cancer detection, she attained her MBA from Yale, before moving into consulting for pharmaceutical companies. Eventually she joined Novartis – where she heads strategy and operations for a business unit focusing on radiopharmaceuticals for the treatment of patients with various cancers.

Lessons For Navigating the Course of Business

In a unique training ground where her personal career depended not only upon her athletic ability but also on her business prowess, Tucker acquired many valuable lessons as an athlete that she continues to draw from, over 10 years after leaving the golf course.

Maintaining Calm Under Pressure

Tucker gives credit to her professional golf career for helping her learn to manage pressure and anxiety. Her ability to retain her LPGA Tour Card, and therefore her job for the following year, depended on her performance in a single four-day tournament. When the stakes are that high, with six-figure sponsors on the line, you have to stay in your center and focus.

“If you play poorly over four days, you lose everything. You lose your income, you have nothing,” she recalls. “So there’s a lot of pressure. I had to learn ways of self-calming: how do I quiet my mind, take two minutes and just relax, and empty everything out? I did that on the golf course to get through these really hard moments.”

“This is a hundred percent applicable to business. Before I go into an interview, before I give a presentation, before I talk with the CEO of the company – I take two minutes just to calm myself. All of the methods that help maintain an even keel transfer from golf to business.”

Visualizing Your End Goal and Pathway To Success

“In playing professional golf, you spend a lot of time visualizing or mentally planning what you want to accomplish,” she notes. “The best way to be successful in business is also to think about what you’re trying to accomplish, and ask yourself ‘What does the end goal look like?’ ”

Once you know where you want to go, it’s about setting the plan for how to arrive to that outcome.

“Unless you have a vision of where you want to go and a plan of how you’re going to get there, you’re not going to make it, this is true in golf or business,” observes Tucker. “When you play a tournament, you plan every single shot in advance and visualize yourself accomplishing it – For example, for each hole, you look at where the pin is, and you think of the best angle to approach it. This angle informs every shot ahead of it. It’s starting with the end in mind to inform your first move.

In business, not only do you need to identify ‘what good looks like’ and sketch a project plan for how you’re going to get there”, says Tucker, “but you also need to ask yourself who you need to bring in.”

Bringing In Your Support Team

“Running my own business as a professional golfer taught me how to work with people, and not just for the purpose of ‘transacting’. I learned how to understand what others’ needs are, and the importance of that knowledge to build a strong relationship,” says Tucker.

It’s a misconception that being a golfer is not also about being part of a team, as her team was essential to overall success.

“When I came into business, I thought I could be successful if I worked hard enough, but that’s not necessarily true. You have to bring others along with you for the ride,” she notes. “Similar to golf, the more you can bring the right team on board, the more successful you will be.”

Tucker feels that dialogue is what gives rise to the best solutions, as the combined insight from others is what often catalyzes the best path, not just your own thinking.

Influencing the Influencers

Previously very focused on personal performance, getting out of her comfort zone and moving towards greater focus on interconnectivity has ultimately been highly fulfilling and encouraged versatility.

“Taking the time and really getting to know people has been the most rewarding part of my career. I’m really happy that I’ve adjusted my style of work to look beyond the work itself, and broaden my perspective to focus on people.”

One of the biggest adjustments that Tucker felt coming into business, as a performance-focused introvert, was the necessary need to navigate the more strategic connections that are so often a large component of being effective in the business world. In golf, the bottom line of Tucker’s success was her performance down to the numbers. If she performed well, the right people would come to her.

“The hardest part about the corporate world is there’s no black and white success criteria. There’s nothing that says if you do well on this project, you will be promoted,” says Tucker. “It’s performance over time and there’s a whole communication network that took me a long time to understand, and adjust to.”

As she had to do with raising money in golf, Tucker has learned to engage beyond the people in her team, and not necessarily by going three levels up for visibility either. Her strategy has been to develop real connections with influencers to the decision-makers.

“What I see too often is people only building relationships with those people who are like them and in their comfort zone, often at the same level or nearby in the office,” she notes. “But people would really benefit by looking at an organization and asking: who are the key decision-makers, and who are the influencers to those key decision makers?”

“People often want to go directly to the key decision maker and say ‘get to know me’, but if you get to know the influencers of the key decision makers, you become an influencer in the organization as well,” she has realized. “When joining an organization, this is a good first step for those who are more introverted and looking to quickly create positive impact on the business because you’re able to have honest dialogues on key matters. It’s about reading the organization, and learning about its people – not their title, but who they are, and their communication networks. Once you understand the communication network of an organization, you can navigate it well.”

The Price of Not Bringing Her Whole Self To Work

As a professional golfer twenty years ago, Tucker’s brand was critical to her ability to raise funds and support her athletic career – and she went through a very tough lesson as a gay woman who did not feel she could risk being her whole self.

At one point, one of her major sponsors told her that he had heard rumors she was gay. If true, he made it explicit that this would be a dealbreaker for continued sponsorship.

“Now this was 20 years ago, and times were different, but I hid who I was. I changed my image, tried to behave and walk differently, and it destroyed my career,” Tucker states. “I was trying to be someone I wasn’t, and I wasn’t authentic to myself or to the world around me. If I could do it over again, I would have behaved differently, even though it would have dissolved my access to income at the time. Trying to hide who I was made it impossible to be great. I couldn’t be my best without being my full self.”

After leaving golf where success was so dependent on her image, Tucker found the protections of the corporate world to be a huge relief.

“There was a transition period, where I learned how to be who I was, without feeling that I was going to be retaliated against,” she notes. “Today, everybody knows my wife, Marion. I finally feel like I have the ability to be open, and to be who I am. But it was a learning experience for me, and it definitely wasn’t easy along the way.”

In addition to loving cooking, Tucker loves to be outside enjoying nature whenever she can, and still loves to compete. These days, squash, tennis with her wife (who she jokes is ‘not that bad’ on the court against her) and basketball, to stay in shape, are her sports of choice.

By Aimee Hansen

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LGBTQ+ Culture is Changing: Are Companies Ready to Redefine Inclusion?

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LGBTQGenerational change is redefining how we relate to identity, particularly among LGBTQ+ people. The traditional ‘category’ approaches to D&I have helped to form the basis of anti-discrimination policy, but are not suited to creating inclusion.

Last June, federal protections passed in the Supreme Court for LGBTQ+ people at work and the vast majority of Fortune 500 companies have strong non-discrimination policies. Yet policy is not the same as culture. Building inclusion requires weaving through every single level and interaction of an organizational culture.

As Boston Consulting Group (BCG) authors, in “A New LGBTQ Workforce Has Arrived—Inclusive Cultures Must Follow“, point out: “Yet despite these efforts, the unavoidable fact is that most LGBTQ employees do not feel truly included in the workplace.”

The LGBTQ+ Community Is Radically Changing

According to BCG, many organizations are failing at inclusion because they are failing to understand the changing and holistic identities of today’s LGBTQ+ community. BCG conducted a survey of 2,000 LGBTQ+ employees and 2,000 straight employees, in partnership with NYC LGBT Community Center, in March 2020.

They found the younger generations of the LGBTQ+ community look very different to their predecessors, and these differences matter.

Among the sample, 54% of the LGBTQ+ workforce is women, but that rises to 71% of those aged 25 to 34 and 78% of those age 18 to 24 (Gen Z). The number of women identifying as bisexual is rising strongly, and there’s a marked increase across all genders in those identifying as multiple sexual orientations or ‘other’ orientations.

For example, among the 45-54 LGBTQ+ cohort, 57% identified as gay, 17% as lesbian, 29% as bisexual and only 7% as other. Compare that to the 25-34 cohort – where 15% identified as gay, 15% as lesbian, but 47% as bisexual and 23% as other.

The younger LGBTQ+ workforce is also far more racially diverse than their older counterparts. Only 7% of 55+ LGBTQ+ people are nonwhite, whereas 53% are nonwhite among 18 to 24 year olds. Only 5% among 55+ are Hispanic, whereas 34% of the Gen Z group identify as such. And only 2% of the 55+ community identity as women of color, but 28% among under 35 years do.

“Today’s LGBTQ workforce has undergone a fundamental, generational shift, both in how it defines itself and what it expects of workplace inclusion,” writes the BCG authors, also stating: “Consequently, the diversity, equity, and inclusion programs in place at many companies, while beneficial, are no longer sufficient.”

Persistent Gaps In Cultural Inclusion

LGBTQ+ people still experiences gaps in feeling open and comfortable at work.

BCG found that 40% of LGBTQ+ employees are not out at work, and among those who are, 54% are closeted with clients or customers. 36% have lied or “covered” parts of their identities in the past year. Three-fourths experienced at least one negative interaction related to their LGBTQ identity at work in the past year, with 41% experiencing more than ten.

According to McKinsey research, LGBTQ+ women are twice as likely as straight women to feel like an “only” in the room, to feel they can’t talk about life outside of work and to “play” along with uncomfortable sexual discussions and humor. They are about 1.5 times more likely to hear jokes about gender or sexist comments, and to have experienced sexual harassment.

BCG found that half of senior LGBTQ+ managers have experienced colleagues refraining from networking with them, though this is less reported among more junior levels, where the younger generation is more attuned and aware of inclusion.

“These numbers illustrate the difference between diversity (in which a company hires people from different backgrounds) and inclusion (those people feel free and encouraged to bring their authentic selves to work),” writes the BCG authors. “The gap between the two carries a steep price in terms of engagement.”

Culture Impacts The Ability to Thrive

When a person is able to be who they are, they thrive. When they do not feel they can be, or that they must edit themselves, their ability to show up suffers.

Back in 2018, Human Rights Campaign research found that 25% of LGBTQ empties stayed due to an inclusive culture and 10% left because of a non-inclusive culture.

BCG found that LGBTQ+ employees who routinely experienced discrimination were 13 times more likely to have quit a job and 7 times more likely to have declined a job offer because of company culture, compared to those who never experienced it.

“D&I leaders must focus on culture change in order to improve employees’ interactions with colleagues, direct managers, and leadership—what we call the ‘1,000 daily touch points.” writes the BCG research team. “Our research shows that breakdowns in these touch points are a major barrier to inclusion.”

Breakdowns are “comments or actions that highlight prejudice, demonstrate a lack of empathy, or make an individual or group feel isolated or unwelcome.”

When it comes to thriving in a culture, LGBTQ+ employees who did not experience discrimination, relative to those who routinely did, were far more likely to feel recognized for their full potential by their manager, feel they could risk the innovation of making mistakes and trying again and wanted to consistently do their best work.

Compared to closeted peers, out employees were twice as likely to feel safe to speak up. They were also 1.5 times more likely to feel recognized and empowered by their manager and safe to take creative risk.

McKinsey also reports that relative to closeted peers, out LGBTQ+ women leaders are more likely to feel they have equal opportunities and access to sponsors, and a positive and supportive relationship with their manager.

They’re also half as likely to plan to leave their current employer within a year.

Inclusion for All, As a “Segment of One”

Non-discrimination policies and practices, and equal access to benefits and resources, are now the baseline of D&I. But as BCG points out: “These programs tended to cover formal interactions but did not address daily, informal interactions. Nor were they meant to activate the entire workforce around inclusion.”

Inclusion occurs through the informal interactions that make up the 1,000 daily touchpoints of an individual experience. But traditional categorization approaches to D&I (of race, gender and ethnicity) can backfire here as relationships to identity evolve to be personal, intersectional, fluid and multiple, especially with younger generations.

Harvard Business Review (HBR) authors from Boston College found that “employees who identify in ways that do not conform to the norms used to define and categorize them at work are more likely to feel marginalized, and even threatened.”

When the way identity is represented is simplified and misaligned to the complexity with which an individual sees themselves, a person’s sense of “identity autonomy” and “identity legitimacy” are compromised. So is motivation, engagement, performance and satisfaction.

HBR authors found that organizations can no longer assume that identities can be naturally divided into singular or binary categories, that identities that individuals claim in one moment are fixed, that identities are self-certain, or even compulsory.

As BCG also highlights, several demographic factors and life factors contribute to a holistic identity that impacts how one LGBTQ+ person uniquely experiences the touchpoints within an organization. All of this means inclusion comes down to adopting a “segment of one” D&I lens that embraces the self-identified, overlapping and fluid nature of identities, now.

Grant Freeland, senior partner and managing director at BCG writes the “segment of one” approach is about: “accepting colleagues and co-workers as they are—and judging them on the basis of what they contribute to the greater good, not whether you approve or disapprove of the identity they embrace, or whether they make you ‘comfortable’ or ‘uncomfortable.’”

Inclusion is the current, nuanced and necessary organizational work of creating inclusion for everyone by fostering a culture that embraces each individual as he, she or they defines themselves.

By Aimee Hansen

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Lale Topcuoglu, Senior Fund Manager & Head of Credit, J O Hambro Capital Management

Lale Topcuoglu“Because I was gay, I felt my successes were always discounted by my family,” says Lale Topcuoglu of JOHCM.

But as she has built her career, she has realized that sometimes you find validation in the unlikeliest of places.

Making Her Voice Heard

Topcuoglu joined Goldman Sachs directly after college and stayed for 17 years, at which point she decided to take a few years off and “became COO of my household,” as she describes it. When she was ready to go back to work, she said it was a serendipitous event that brought her to her current firm, which she joined in September 2017. Right now she is focused on building a business from the ground up, which is challenging in such a competitive field, but rewarding for the sense of achievement.

One of the most positive aspects of her work has come from a partnership she has with Bloomberg, as part of its “New Voices” program. She was invited to audition to help bolster the number of women represented in Bloomberg News, a lack caused by many women’s inadequate media training or belief that they weren’t adequately prepared to participate in news media. Bloomberg encouraged her, offering enhanced media training, and she applied and was accepted November 2018. The credibility she has earned though her media exposure has been life-changing, she says.

“This exposure, on TV, radio and print meant that suddenly I was validated for who I am,” Topcuoglu says, noting that she wears her pride pin on live Bloomberg TV as “a silent but powerful statement of who I am.” She also mentions the role that her current firm has taken in this success. “Its entrepreneurial spirit was the driving force in ‘getting me out there,’ rather than having the decision on whether or not to participate in media events become wrapped up in politics as often happens in larger firms.”

She is proud of her tenure at Goldman and becoming a managing director in just 10 years, which was another important validation milestone for her. However, she reiterates that one of her most cherished professional achievements to date has been Bloomberg’s decision to make her one of the market voices, which has also led to commercial opportunities for her current firm.

“The power of media has been immense, as I’ve come to realize the visibility you gain being on TV: You’re more recognized, and people want to listen to you more. The credibility it has offered has been fascinating and rewarding, personally and professionally. I would now like to use that privilege to pay it forward.”

Bringing Others Along

A self-described “Steady Eddie,” Topcuoglu says she wishes someone had told her earlier in her career it was OK to change jobs to get more nuanced opportunities. In addition she wishes she had known the importance of networking earlier on. “When you join a top-tier firm, it’s easy to assume you’ve made it and you’re done looking for a job, and it can be easy to lessen your focus on networking,” she says. “But then life happens, and you might end up in a situation where you realize you want to switch jobs or end up losing your job and up not working for another reason, and it’s not like a flip of a switch to suddenly start networking. It makes you look inauthentic if you just reach out suddenly,” she notes.

Topcuoglu advises younger women to focus on setting goals and continuing to learn. And she says it’s vital to be aware of your sponsors and mentors and assess potential candidates if you don’t believe you are being sufficiently supported. She had excellent mentors during her time at Goldman, she says, noting that none were men, which she found interesting given that they usually hold the most senior roles.

Now she is eager to pass on what she knows as a mentor to others. “If I can be instrumental in getting one extra person on the show or otherwise help them along, that’s critical to me. Each senior leader who pulls along one female can make a significant difference.”

As co-head of the LGBQT+ employee resource group for EMEA during her tenure at Goldman, Topcuoglu focused on mentoring and helping bring attention to their historical underrepresentation. At her current firm, J O Hambro, she is part of the newly established Diversity Council. “When you are presented with statistics, it looks a lot more real,” she says. “We always wanted to determine how to attract more of the community to financial services, and the only way to do so is to have more role models across all lines of the firm. I am very excited to be part of the Diversity Council to tackle some of the challenges and help pushing initiatives forward.”

She says that being aware of the issues related to diversity can be important for anyone’s career. “We are frequently on the road, meeting institutional and retail clients. It’s important to be able to connect to your client base that is as colorful as the rainbow.”

As the mom to two kids, ages 4 and 11, Topcuoglu stays busy just managing day-to-day life and a full career. “Family is a full-time no-pay job, which I certainly learned when I took time off between jobs.”

by Cathie Ericson

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The Value of Being Out as a Leader

LGBT flag_PixabayBy Aimee Hansen

With Monday’s ruling, this moment could offer a new permission slip for coming out at work for many.

In a victory landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled that existing U.S. Federal Law (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964) protects LGTBQ workers from discrimination.

The statutory interpretation declared that the current prohibition of “sex” discrimination is inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Yet, for nearly half of us in the USA, being in the closet at work is a painful reality.

According to 2018 research by the HRC, 46% of LGBTQ+ workers in the U.S. remain closeted at work, only 4% less than the 50% figure ten years earlier.

Major factors for staying in the closet are fear of being stereotyped, fear of making others uncomfortable, fear of losing connections and fear of having attraction to others projected onto them just for being LGBTQ+.

Over 60% of all employees agree that spouses, relationship or dating conversations come up casually at least once a week, which can mean a lot of emotional energy on covering up. Yet, 50% of LGBTQ+ say that they know no openly out employees at their workplace. 28% admit that they lie during these conversations.

Fear of being unaccepted contributes to social avoidance at work (25%), feelings of unhappiness or depression (31%), distraction (25%) and emotional exhaustion (17%), among other negative impacts.

Not only does coming out require a sense of receptivity and support in the workplace, but also bravery, vulnerability and discernment.

It is only an individual choice, but it’s one that has positively surprised some major leaders who took the step.

Top executives speak to coming out of the closet

Top executives who are out offer personal insight on their coming out journey in Bloomberg, many reflecting retrospectively that the cost of not bringing their whole selves to work was too much… and they paid it for too long, perhaps unnecessarily.

Across stories, they express that while everyone’s experience is different, they wish they had known how much acceptance would show up for them once they decided to show up for themselves as LGBTQ+, unapologetically.

“I wish I had known earlier how well I would be accepted by my colleagues at Dow. I would have come out earlier, and my decision would have been far easier. I feared a lot of negativity that never came to fruition,” says Jim Fitterling, CEO of Dow, Inc, who came out only when already senior in the organization. “I would never tell anyone to come out when they don’t feel comfortable, but I know from experience there is a toll you pay when you try to hide part of yourself, and that the perceived pain of coming out is often worse than the reality.”

“I would say be yourself; bring your whole self to work. Please don’t go back into the closet—because you will be the one who fundamentally suffers for it,” says Inga Beale, ex-CEO of Lloyds of London. “And if you’re out at work, you and your business will benefit…I definitely, definitely regret not coming out earlier.”

Owning your LGBTQ+ belonging as an asset to the workplace

“I personally feel an enormous sense of responsibility to take that empathy and the fight I got from growing up different from the majority of the population in the world and draw on that to make sure that every space I’m in,” says Kim Culmone, Senior vice president, Mattel Inc in Bloomberg. “ I’m bringing the voice of perhaps the marginalized or forgotten community into that room of influence and power.”

Dr. Steve Yacovelli, author of Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the King or Queen of their Jungle, identifies six traits that out LGBTQ+ leaders can leverage to magnify effectiveness as leaders, not only amidst your reports but overall in your greater leadership influence.

These include: being authentic, leading with courage, having empathy, effective communication, building relationships and influencing organizational culture – all of which are competencies that LGBTQ+ leaders more often have in spades.

“You see the concept of authenticity in generic leadership everywhere,” says Dr. Yacovelli, in OutFront Magazine, “and if I look at folks in our community living authentically as themselves, we’re already exercising that muscle just naturally by being who we are.”

Yacovelli notes,“…I’m seeing more folks saying leadership isn’t just your direct report or organizational structure, it’s about who you influence.”

LGBTQ+ leadership is good for business

The benefit to business of having LGBTQ+ in leadership is no secret.

Research across data for 132 countries has demonstrated that more human rights protection for LGBTQ+ people is good for economic development. Despite this, 70 UN member states still criminalize being gay, let alone being transgender or gender non-binary.

Coming out is foremost a personal decision, and one to be made by each of us.

But it’s also a true leadership choice that has the potential to expand beyond your personal experience to create a ripple rainbow effect within any organization and all who you interact with.

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OP-ED: Be an LGBTQ Ally to Help Your Daughter or Son Come Out

By Katherine Dean, head of Family Dynamics, Wells Fargo Private Bank

Have you ever worried about a child?

Wondering what’s on their mind and whether they are doing OK? And how things are going with school and socially for them? Any parent, as well as grandparents, aunts, and uncles, would most likely answer “yes,” especially as a child becomes a young adult.

My husband and I certainly don’t have this whole parenting thing figured out. What we have stressed with our 10-year-old son and almost-15-year-old daughter is the importance of two-way communication. And we’ve been intentional in saying repeatedly, “We love you. There’s nothing you can tell us that will ever change that.”

Giving Our Daughter a Safe Outlet for Her Feelings

During our daughter Grace’s eighth-grade year, we started to pick up on small things that made us wonder if she was gay. We knew it wasn’t our place to ask; we needed to wait until she was ready and comfortable to tell us that she was LGBTQ, and to see if that was even the case.

We had just decided to connect her with a therapist so she would have a confidential outlet to share her feelings and thoughts with a neutral third party. This point of connection was about navigating life as a teen, entering high school, and dealing with new social situations. As I remember from my own teen years, it’s a tough transition!

Grace’s Coming-Out Story

I’ll never forget the day. I was at work when I received a text message from my daughter asking if she could talk to us later. We hit a “parenting stroke of luck.” This was a moment of parent PRIDE here as this was a signal we were doing something right!

That evening, we pulled up with her privately in her room and asked what she wanted to talk about. She struggled to say anything and kept trying to get her words out, but they wouldn’t come. We could tell this wasn’t easy for her, but we continued to encourage her to share. She finally asked if she could write it down.

She proceeded to write on a scrap of paper: “I AM GAY.” Instantly, we could see her relief in sharing this news. We immediately got up and hugged her long and hard. We talked about how much we loved her and how thrilled we were that she decided to tell us, and we asked if she needed us to do anything to support her.

Right away, she shared her one request. She asked if our entire family could march in the 2019 San Francisco Pride Parade. Already involved in PFLAG (an organization for family, friends, and allies of LGBTQ people), I made a call to get our family added to the parade roster.

Celebrating Pride as a Family

Our family of four, plus our daughter’s best friend, met up with PFLAG in San Francisco for the big day. Grace wore a Pride flag proudly as a cape, and the rest of us adorned ourselves with Pride gear ranging from flags to beads to hats.

When we arrived, we were greeted by amazing floats, crowds galore, and a very positive vibe. It was inspiring to be surrounded by the strength and beauty of so many.

As the parade started, our daughter, unplanned, decided to carry the PFLAG banner in the front of our group, along with a few other girls around the same age. Our son donned a massive head-to-toe sign across the front of his body that read: “I am a brother.” Moving forward, the emotion overtook me as the crowds cheered and clapped, leaving me teary-eyed and so appreciative of the LGBTQ community’s acceptance of its newest member.

I left that day incredibly full of PRIDE. I was grateful that my daughter trusted us to share her true self and that, as a family, we were able to experience this amazing moment together. I thank all those who came before her for your hard work. The next generation is loud and proud and will continue to carry that work forward, alongside with their families and friends.

Sharing my own experience

Believe it or not, I attribute much of our parenting success to my job. At Wells Fargo, I am grateful to be a part of the Family Dynamics team. We focus on helping families flourish beyond their finances — we help them build communication and trust, prepare future generations, and create shared family purpose.

In my role, I often engage with families having communication challenges. I’m not sure these families realize it, but when I help them, they help me. I strongly believe that we all learn from one another and that everyone has important perspectives to share. I’m proud to be able to give back by sharing my own personal experiences.

To My Daughter and to the LGBTQ Community:

I am a mother. I am a friend. I am your ally. I will always be there for you. You are loved.

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