Tag Archive for: intuition

Radical Self-Trust: The Work Relationship No One Talks About (Pt. 1)

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radical self-trustAs a leader who wishes to inspire and empower, you will be more impactful if you earn the trust of those whom you wish to lead. For that trust to be built upon a solid foundation, you must first cultivate a deep sense of inner self-trust.

It’s an axiom for a reason. The most important relationship is the one you build with yourself, and the relationship you wish to build with others begins with you.

Trust is Relational and Earned

Let’s talk relationship dynamics. Within the organism of any organization, trust is the precursor and basis of a functioning team. When trust is absent, the team cannot effectively resolve conflict, foster commitment, create accountability, or develop and deliver to its capacity.

Well, the same is true with yourself. Without a basis of self-trust, how can you confront decisions where you feel internally divided, authentically commit, be accountable, develop, or reach your goals?

Trust is also at the crux of any close, enduring relationship. Trust is not owed to another—it is earned. Trust is relational, and self-trust is a fundamental reflection of the quality of relationship you have with yourself.

  • What is the gap between your values and your life?
  • Between your words and your actions?
  • Between your knowing and your doing?
  • Between what truly matters to you and what you give time and energy to?

If there are real gaps, and you are a self-aware person, you will know and feel it—even if you avoid knowing that you know. These gaps create leaks in self-trust. They dilute your sense of self and integrity.

Self-trust comes from living in alignment with your truths and values, and being able to admit, and even amend, where you fall out of alignment.

The Self-Trust and Confidence Loop

According to Stephen M. R. Covey, self-trust is finding yourself credible. The four cores of credibility are comprised of:

Character (who you are):

  • Intent – being straightforward in motivation with genuine care in others
  • Integrity – being honest, keeping promises, aligning action and values, willingness to do the hard thing if the right thing

Competence (what you do):

  • Capabilities – gifts, skills, knowledge, styles of approaching
  • Results – your followthrough, consistency, and outcomes

As you build self-trust, it gives rise to a feeling of self-assurance and authentic confidence, based on a grounded experience of yourself that is greater than dips in motivation and emotional fluctuations. On a shaky day, you know you’re strong at the roots.

When your act with intent, leverage your capabilities, and follow through, you accumulate self-trust and generate confidence.

The loop then reinforces itself. The behaviors that build self-trust contribute to a feeling of confidence which gives you the courage to take more actions (such as trying new things, taking on challenges and making commitments) that lead to greater self-trust.

Six Types of Relational Trust—With Yourself?

In healthy relationships, there are six different kinds of trust that can be nurtured. One category is about self-trust. But what if you treated each as important to your relationship with self? Let’s adapt them and see.

1) Emotional trust – to allow vulnerability, show up to feelings with empathy rather than judgement, and to foster deeper connection.

  • How do you allow space for your emotions? What do you try to avoid or ignore feeling? What feeling could you be more open to?
  • How strong is your inner critic versus your inner sense of compassion? Whose voice is more prominent for you?
  • How are you kind to yourself? How do you trivialize or undermine your needs? How could you be more receptive and open to yourself?

2) Instrumental trust – to consistently show up, follow through on commitments, and keep promises.

  • How do you already show up consistently for what matters to you?
  • What is one way you could easily commit to regularly showing up to something important to you? Make it achievable.
  • How do you keep your word with yourself? How do you break your word with yourself?

3) Informational trust – to be able to be truthful, transparent, clear, and honest with yourself

  • How willing are you to admit the truths you know deep down within?
  • Where in your life may you be avoiding being honest with yourself or others?
  • Where in life would you like to become clearer and more transparent? What stops you?

4) Self-trust – to honor your worth, trust your judgement and intuition, and to show up to challenges

  • From where do your source your sense of self and worth? Is there anywhere where you are still trying to win approval?
  • What are examples of trusting your discernment or intuition? Where in life have you, or are you, dismissing your intuition?
  • What challenges have you taken on? What is a growth space you’d like to step into, but have yet to?

5) Situational trust – to be able to trust and rely on self in particular contexts, based on strengths and knowledge in that space

  • In what contexts, situations, and discussions do you really trust in yourself and your capacity?
  • In what contexts, situations, and discussions do you feel disconnected from your self-trust? Why?
  • Is there a context in which you wish to improve trust in self? How could you?

6) Physical trust – to feel safe in your own presence, knowing you will respect and protect your own health and safety

  • How are you looking after your wellbeing and health as the only human in charge of that job?
  • In what ways do you compromise your wellbeing and health? How could you be more protective and caring?
  • What would it mean to show yourself more love and respect? What would change?

It’s the one relationship you’ve been in since the moment you became aware of yourself, so it’s a good question to ask: do I have a relationship of trust with myself, and how can I improve that relationship?

And if you are willing, you may find the same is true as in any relationship. Growth requires a willingness to have the real, and sometimes challenging, conversations with yourself.

But if you do, integrity becomes its own reward.

 

By: Aimee Hansen is a long time writer and heart coach with theglasshammer.com. Her recent work includes “This Book is a Retreat” co-written with Marianne Richmond.

If you would like to work with Aimee or any of our coaches including Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder, please click HERE for a free, exploratory call with Nicki who can match you with the right coach for you (we have six coaches, all with different backgrounds who can help you depending on what you need).

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Deborah Overdeput: Chief Operating Officer, Innovative Systems (FinScan, Enlighten, PostLocate)

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Deborah Overdeput“I can look back and point to the promotions, the double-digit growth, all the successes along the way, but I never truly believed in my success until I stepped out on my own and built a business,” says Deborah Overdeput.

That moment of independence was not just a career milestone, but a shift in how she saw herself as a leader: someone who thrives on curiosity, creates clarity where there is none, and knows when it is time to pivot.

From Rocket Science to Market Growth

Overdeput began her career as a rocket scientist, trained in space station computing and fault-tolerant systems. Yet, when she relocated to Belgium for an engineering role at Swift, she felt restless. “I realized I really liked talking about what we were doing rather than actually building it. Once I got bit by that bug, I knew I had to transition into marketing.”

With no formal background in marketing, Overdeput made a bold decision: she would become a Chief Marketing Officer in technology. That goal guided every step she took, from mastering the fast-changing dynamics of marketing to taking lateral moves and pushing herself into stretch roles that expanded her skills and influence. At SunGard, her determination paid off as she advanced from marketing a single product line to overseeing more than 40. Later, at Sapient, she led the repositioning of a 250-million-dollar business unit and helped drive it to more than 500 million dollars in under five years.

What she took away from those years was simple: strategy only works if it is rooted in reality. “If you do not understand how products work, how teams operate, and what customers actually need, it is hard to make the right choices. I have always believed strong leadership starts with really knowing what is happening on the ground.”

Creating Clarity in Uncertain Times

Overdeput believes leadership matters most when circumstances are ambiguous. “You do not need leadership when everything is well defined. You need leadership when the path is unclear and the pressure is high. My role has always been to take that uncertainty, translate it into strategy, and help others see the way forward.”

That principle carries into her role today as COO at Innovative Systems, where she leads global product management, marketing, operations, and human resources. “My focus is on enabling human potential by aligning talent, strategy, and resources so that even in shifting markets, our people can do their best work and deliver meaningful impact for our clients.”

Innovative Systems is also known for building long-term relationships with clients, some spanning decades. Overdeput emphasizes that trust is both a differentiator and a responsibility. “Our clients count on us not just for technology, but for partnership. Delivering on that promise, year after year, is what keeps us relevant and resilient in a shifting compliance landscape.”

Lessons in Confidence and Voice

Before her COO role at Innovative Systems, Overdeput built a successful consultancy as a fractional Chief Marketing Officer. Working with a range of technology and financial services clients, she discovered a new level of confidence in her own capabilities. The experience affirmed her expertise and sharpened her ability to deliver high-impact results across different businesses and industries.

She also discovered her voice had changed. “Earlier in my career, as a woman inside large companies, I often found my ideas ignored until repeated by a man. Over time, I learned to strengthen my voice, to claim my authority. Today, people stop and listen not just because of my title, but because they know I speak with conviction and experience.”

That conviction shapes her leadership style today. “I try to listen more and advocate for voices within the company. Leadership is not about being the loudest person in the room. It is about making sure the right voices are heard.”

The Power of Networks and Mentorship

For Overdeput, networks and mentorship are essential leadership tools. She has mentored University of New Hampshire students since 2009, often those with math or computer science backgrounds like her own. “I tell them, start early. Build your network, get on LinkedIn, connect with your peers. Those relationships are career changing.”

Mentorship, she says, has shaped her as much as her mentees. “Working with students helps me see how the next generation thinks, what motivates them, and how they want to grow. That perspective is essential for any leader who wants to build teams that are not only high-performing today but also ready for tomorrow.”

It is also what inspired her latest project: Walk Away, a book she is co-authoring with Sally Clarke. “The book brings together stories of women who reached pivotal moments and chose to leave situations that no longer aligned with their values or ambitions. Hearing these stories has been like sitting with different mentors. Each one has helped me rethink the situations I face in my own career and the challenges my mentees bring to me. One of the women said, ‘Walking away was the boldest form of leadership I have ever practiced.’ That stayed with me, because leadership is often about knowing when to stay the course, and when the braver choice is to step into something new.”

Building Teams Through Talent

For Overdeput, the heart of leadership lies in building strong teams. “High-performing teams are not built by accident; they come from spotting potential others might overlook and giving people the chance to prove themselves. One of my best hires did not meet the checklist on paper, but I knew she had what it would take. She went on to become a star. As Steve Jobs once said, it does not make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do. My role is to create the conditions for their talent to shine.”

Her approach is less about rigid processes and more about creating conditions for people to thrive. Weekly check-ins, open conversations, and celebrating wins keep teams connected and aligned to a bigger purpose. “One of the most rewarding experiences is when a team pulls together to deliver something bigger than any one individual could achieve. I make it a point to celebrate those moments, because they remind me that leadership is not about one person’s actions, but about creating the environment where everyone’s contributions matter.”

Leading With Intuition and Humanity

Her leadership philosophy is also shaped by yoga and meditation, which she has practiced for more than 30 years. “Yoga taught me how to breathe through stress and build core strength, not only physically but also in the way I show up as a leader. Meditation taught me to quiet the noise, to see the world beyond my own ego, and to stay present for others. Together, they remind me it is not about me, it is about enabling others. Maya Angelou captured it best: people will forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. That truth stays with me, because I have seen it reflected back in the people I have supported, watching their success become part of my own impact.”

And from her mother, she learned the value of having a cheerleader in your corner. “She showed me that sometimes what you need most is someone who believes in you, no matter the obstacles. That is the kind of leader I try to be for others.”

Looking Ahead

Asked what drives her today, Overdeput points to impact. “I want to look back and know I left a stamp, that I built teams, grew businesses, and created opportunities for others to succeed. For me, leadership is about enabling human potential in ways that last, so the people and organizations I have touched continue to thrive long after I have moved on.”
That philosophy ties her trajectory from rocket science to COO together. As she puts it: “Great leadership means building great products, growing great people, and creating clarity in a complex world.”

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Why Introverts Make Powerful Leaders

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introvert leadersIntroverts are the folks who prefer to recharge their batteries alone rather than with other people. That isn’t to say they don’t like people — many introverts love working with others, but they also value their alone time. Sometimes, but not always, they may also have low self-confidence. They may not be able to see themselves in a leadership or administrative role. That’s where they’re wrong — introverts make some of the best leaders for several reasons.

What Is an Introvert?

An introvert is someone who may keep to themselves more often than not. They recharge their batteries by working and relaxing alone and may prefer small groups to large gatherings. However, being an introvert doesn’t mean someone is afraid of speaking or can’t step up to be a leader. Around 12% of people identify themselves as completely introverted, often drifting toward extroverted partners who likely can help them express themselves better.

Some traits commonly associated with introverted people include the following:

  • Quietness
  • Shyness
  • Thoughtfulness
  • Prefers privacy
  • Easily overstimulated

These traits are loosely related to introverts, meaning they may not fit every introverted person and might even relate to some extroverts. Many introverted people enjoy being around others and participating in social activities — they may just choose to take part on their own terms.

Introverts and extroverts have their places in business. However, workplaces with extroverted leaders yield 14% lower profits on average. While every person is different, introverts more often have traits that would make for exemplary leadership.

3 Stellar Traits of an Introvert Leader

Introverts often have traits that ensure they can lead teams well. Sometimes, the best leader isn’t an outgoing one who blazes the way — it’s the strong one who quietly reassures their team while supporting them from behind and picking them up when they fall. Strong leaders allow their employees to stand on their own without getting in the way of their successes, but they’re always there to provide guidance and offer a listening ear.

Many introverts are born with traits that naturally help them grow into better leaders than their peers. While some introverted people may not feel comfortable leading large groups, their quiet awareness and thoughtful decision-making can be vital to any team.

1. Expert Listening Skills

Many introverts prefer to listen over talk, participating more passively in conversations. Because they spend less time talking, they can study their conversational partners and pick up on small nuances, especially tone and body language, making them experts at listening to and reading people.

For example, something as simple as the pitch of someone’s voice can indicate whether they’re nervous or confident, something that people who aren’t as intuitive wouldn’t pick up on. Introverts might be able to identify these subtle changes in a person because their listening skills are often sublime.

2. Sincerity Above All

Extroverts can be genuine, too — they may find it easy to connect with other people and praise them for their exploits. However, you may be less likely to receive compliments from an introvert. Since introverted people often don’t talk as much as extroverts, going out of their way to compliment someone might mean much more than an extrovert who praises someone whenever they get the chance.

Around 96% of people feel praise makes them more productive, so an introverted leader who genuinely expresses their opinions is a must-have in any business. An introverted leader will assess the situation and praise anyone who deserves it — and they’ll be able to guide anyone who needs assistance.

Similarly, introverts will stand up for themselves. Introverted people may often come off as shy, but in a workplace, they can feel empowered to stand behind their decisions and won’t let people walk all over them. An introvert can exude confidence just as much as an extrovert, so employers can feel assured in enlisting an introvert in a leadership space.

3. More Creative Solutions

Extroverts and introverts can both be creative, but since introverts use self-reflection and think before acting, they have more time and opportunity to develop innovative solutions to tricky problems. When in business, you must understand situations from several angles. Having someone who considers every perspective is vital to the well-being of any company.

The best decision-making process relies on gathering the necessary information and sitting with it before making any conclusions too hastily. Many introverted people prefer to wait before making a decision and think over all the possible outcomes and variables so they understand the facts before making a decision. This person is valuable for any business, especially during times of crisis.

Introverts often use their intuition, leading them to success and practical decision-making. As a result, they’re more likely to realize when someone needs a little extra encouragement or just a friend to lean on. They’ll likely ensure everyone is involved in a project or feels appreciated in their team. That way, these leaders know everyone is included in a group.

How to Make Yourself a Better Leader

The good news is you don’t have to change yourself to become a better leader or pretend to be something you’re not. Both introverts and extroverts are valuable in leadership roles — as long as they demonstrate the right skills to prove they can support a team.

If you want to gain some of the most beneficial traits of a powerful leader, you’ll have to tap into yourself and learn how to reflect and listen more than you talk and act. Introverts make great leaders because they tend to solve problems more effectively, adding immense value to their company.

Here are some soft skills you should work on building if you want to succeed in a leadership role:

  • Active listening: To help others solve their problems
  • Critical thinking: To solve problems with your head instead of on impulse
  • Proper communication: To get across ideas and uplift others

You shouldn’t have to change who you are to fit any role. However, improving certain skills and learning different methods of problem-solving and communication can benefit you as you transition into a leadership position.

Introverts Are Some of the Best Employees to Have

Introverts tend to lean on the more intuitive and reflective side, making them an asset to any business, thanks to the skills they’ve honed in their interactions throughout the years. They’ll provide a fresh viewpoint and sage wisdom after thinking over certain possibilities. While some introverts might not have the best conversational skills, they’ll do their jobs to the best of their abilities and tackle new things that come their way.

However, both introverts and extroverts can make great employees. The best team members are well-rounded and demonstrate characteristics that will help a business flourish and positively affect company culture. One personality trait can’t guarantee a good leader, but it can help people understand where they’re lacking and how they can improve for the sake of their workplace.

By: Mia Barnes is a freelance writer and researcher who specializes in mental wellbeing and workplace wellness. Mia is also the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Body+Mind magazine, an online women’s health publication.

(The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).

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Seven Things about Gut Instinct You Might Not Know

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Gut instinct Gut instinct – that instinctual sense of knowing that does not come from conscious reasoning, also sometimes called intuition – is one aspect of your decision-making that is worth better understanding – including how and when to leverage it. Here are seven things to know about gut instinct.

  1. The gut truly is the “second brain.” – A neural network of 100 million neurons line your digestive tract, evidencing the gut’s processing ability. The gut has more neurons than the spine. It’s not only the stomach that has a brain, but the heart also has neural cells – there’s more to processing than we “think.” According to Sarah Garfinkel, professor and cognitive neuroscientist at University College London, “Instinct is when physiological signals change quickly in response to different stimuli, with or without the conscious awareness of the properties of those stimuli. A capacity to tap into and be guided by those signals gives us a route to gut instinct, which bypasses higher-order awareness mechanisms that don’t yet have access to that information.”
  2. Gut instinct is not a mind “or” body thing, and it’s complicated. – When considering a decision, the brain works in tandem with the gut, making intuition a mix of emotional and experiential data as the brain accesses memories, preferences, needs, past learnings and more. The mind-body dualistic idea that suggests mind and body responses are separate has long been disproven. They are interrelated. We feel in the body the result of cognitive processing happening in the brain. As a predictive processing network, the brain seeks to quickly compare sensory information with past experience, knowledge and memories, sending signals to the gut. These rapid assessments are subject to error, due to things like confirmation bias where we scramble to see what we already believe true or when we impose past circumstances upon a current situation and perceive danger.
  3. Gut instinct is often a valuable part of decision-making. Partnering gut feelings with analytical thinking leads to better, faster, and more accurate decisions and increases the confidence behind your choices – especially when there is no “correct” and clear-cut option and you’re overthinking. The majority of top executives report that they leverage feelings when managing crises. Women often speak to The Glass Hammer about their ability to read the room as way of informing how they approach a meeting or having gut instinct around an idea that comes up. And when, for example, you are in a familiar setting or with a familiar person, your intuition can pick up subtle cues that something is off or amiss by noticing indicators that are not usually present. It can also guide you against making a wrong choice that presents unnecessary risk. Without gut instinct, and a sensitivity to somatic cues, we can fall into analysis paralysis.
  4. Gut instinct is NOT such a good indicator for decision-making at other times – such as in hiring and recruitment. A clear example for where gut instinct should not be trusted in decision making is in hiring and recruitment, when guts instincts (fast thinking) around the “right candidate” and “culture fit” or “likability” are usually just unconscious bias (such as affinity bias, anchoring bias) – especially related to race, disability, gender and sex. Within seconds of hearing speech, Yale found that we make snap perceptions on social class (based on speech patterns such as pronunciation), competence and pay package. We also like people who are like us in tone, body movements and word choices – and the things we like cast a positive halo over the rest of the interview. Assessments from unstructured and organic interviews, where managers go with their gut, have very poor correlation with job effectiveness and finding the most qualified candidate, because unconscious bias is rife and gut instinct is often rationalized.
  5. The quality of gut instinct is interrelated to emotional intelligence. Research has shown that people with lower EI tend to misread their own bodily signal and somatic cues, misinterpreting the warnings of intuition that would normally guide us against bad risk-taking and decision making. But just as emotional intelligence can be strengthened through intentional training, as we become more sensitive to our ability to read and discern different emotions, where they are coming from and how they influence us, so can we develop our gut instinct. Discerning fear from intuition is an important part of honing our ability to use gut instinct in decision making, as these can often be confused. People who are highly sensitive – and perceive, process, and synthesize information more deeply – often have stronger intuition but may also have learned to distrust and invalidate this strength. Like a muscle, intuition can be built up. Practicing using it through fast, decisive actions on relatively inconsequential matters to build up trust and your ability to emotional regulate through discomfort. By role-playing the outcomes of different decisions, you can also see if your intuitive-based decisions would be aligned with your highest values on the other side.
  6. Distraction from overthinking helps our intuition to weigh in on decisions. When processing a lot of complex and difficult to remember information around a big decision, the tendency can be to painfully overthink – going between all the pros and cons – or to make a snap decision to escape the pain of indecision. But research has found that there’s a value in allowing our minds to wander in unrelated activity, as the unconscious mind helps to sort through the seeds. Participants who were distracted by an unrelated activity after being presented with a bunch of information about a decision made better (and more intuitive led) objective choices than those who consciously weighed up options before making a final decision. Overthinking in a strictly analytical way can muddy your judgement. But in the pause, the unconscious mind can help to surface the gist from the information overload and improve the accuracy of intuitive judgement.
  7. Timing and context is critical and most people don’t know when to use their gut instinct. Because it’s intertwined with many other rapid processes happening in the brain (triggering, bias, memory), it’s critical to assess when to rely on gut instinct in decision-making and when not to, and most business leaders do not know the difference – not only that, but it’s the same for most doctors, therapists and other kinds of professionals.

All in all, gut instinct is a valuable aspect of processing that is bound to contribute it’s voice into your decision-making, whether you are going with it, weighing it up or fighting against it. The more you can learn about gut instinct, the more you’ll be equipped as a leader to use it – and not use it – wisely.

By Aimee Hansen

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