Tag Archive for: executive coaching

Nancy Stern: Managing Director and General Counsel, Simplex Trading

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Nancy Stern

By Jessica Darmoni

“The (trading) industry is built on people working together,” explains Nancy Stern. “You have to think of your interactions as long-term relationships. Something that makes sense in the short term may not serve you—or others—over time. You always have to ask: what are the unintended consequences?”

That long-term view has shaped Stern’s approach at career inflection points, business strategies and regulatory guidance. After first speaking with Stern over 10 years ago, The Glass Hammer sat down with her to talk about where she is now.

Today, as Managing Director and General Counsel of Simplex Trading, Stern stands at the intersection of market structure, regulation, technology, and leadership. She is the first, and only, lawyer at the 20-year-old market-making firm, a role that requires both precision and perspective.

Building Legal Infrastructure in a High-Speed Market

Simplex Trading operates as a market maker in the fast-moving world of equity options, where milliseconds matter and volumes have exploded. They continuously buy and sell options to capture the bid-ask spread. The firm is connected to 17 exchanges and has traders on the trading floor at Cboe Global Markets.

Over the past decade, the equity options market has transformed dramatically. Retail participation has surged. Trading volumes have exploded. Zero-day-to-expiration (0DTE) options have compressed time horizons to a single day—sometimes blurring the line between investment and entertainment for retail traders. In this environment, risk evolves quickly.

“We are in the business of taking risks,” Stern says. “My job is evaluating those risks. You have to understand the full picture—but most importantly, you have to adapt.”

Simplex historically relied on outside counsel. As the business grew more sophisticated, leadership recognized the need for an in-house legal leader to manage risk proactively, implement processes, and help shape culture from within.

Stern stepped into that role not only to mitigate legal exposure, but to build systems that support sustainable growth.

Her mandate includes implementing new procedures, strengthening governance, and aligning culture with regulatory expectations, all while keeping pace with accelerating technological change, including the integration of AI tools that are reshaping industries at unprecedented speed.

“The pace of change continues to accelerate,” she notes. “The tools are new but in many ways, the challenges are iterations of what we’ve faced before. That’s what makes it exciting to put these new tools into practice.”

From General Counsel to CEO, and Back Again

The Glass Hammer first met Stern in 2015 as Executive Vice President, General Counsel and Secretary of Allston Trading. She went on to become CEO of the proprietary trading firm, which was then acquired by DV Trading in December 2021. After the acquisition she joined futures commission merchant and clearing firm, ABN Amro, as Chief of Staff and General Counsel until 2024.

Her earlier career includes partner roles at Katten Muchin Rosenman LLP and Gardner Carton & Douglas LLP (now Faegre Drinker Biddle & Reath LLP), where she built the legal foundation that would later support her executive leadership.

Transitioning from General Counsel to CEO required more than technical skill, it required self-awareness.

“Coaching was very important to me,” Stern reflects. As she prepared to step into the CEO role, she worked with an executive coach and encouraged her team to do the same. “Understanding your strengths and weaknesses is essential. Sometimes you need someone outside your organization to help you think clearly.”

That investment in self-knowledge became a catalyst for growth.

Resilience, Realism, and Knowing When to Walk Away

Leadership, especially in high-stakes financial environments, inevitably includes moments of doubt. Stern approaches setbacks with a problem-solver’s mindset, and with realism.

“You have to ask yourself: Is this a situation I can improve? Or should I walk away? Can I make this better, or would someone else do a better job?”

She describes herself as loyal and deeply committed however she also recognizes limits. Not every system can be fixed from within and not every environment is the right one.

For women navigating leadership roles, that distinction is powerful: resilience does not mean staying at all costs. It means making thoughtful, courageous decisions about where you can create impact.

Mentorship in All Directions

When asked who influenced her most, Stern doesn’t name a single figure.

“I’ve been fortunate to have mentors at every stage and from all directions,” she says. “Senior people, junior people, peers.”

She learned the craft of law from colleagues in law firms. She learned how to lead organizations by listening to those who understood the pulse of the business and the pain points of its people.

What does she value most?

“Anyone willing to speak the truth, even when it’s difficult.”

Now, she pays that forward. Mentorship is one of the impacts she most hopes to create.

“There are people with tremendous talent who just need guidance on specific questions. If I can help them move forward, that’s incredibly satisfying.”

What the Future Demands from Leaders

As markets evolve, so must leadership. Stern believes future leaders will need empathy and the ability to put others first.

“Strong listening skills, sound judgement and the ability to sift through vast information to make principled decisions will be demanded of our leaders,” she emphasizes.

Stern also believes that execution, the discipline to turn vision into reality will be crucial.

“Vision without execution doesn’t count,” she says.

In an era of accelerating AI adoption, shrinking time horizons, and increasingly complex market participation, those human-centered skills may matter more than ever.

Leading Into the Future

What inspires her now?

“New tools. New experiences. New ways to approach old challenges.”

Despite decades of experience across law firms, trading floors, executive suites, and boardrooms, Stern remains energized by evolution.

Her leadership is not about chasing speed but about thoughtful adaptation, long-term relationships as well as clear-eyed risk assessment and helping others grow along the way.

In industries often defined by volatility, Stern’s career is a reminder that sustainable leadership is built not only on expertise, but on empathy, integrity, and the courage to continually adapt.

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Making the Most of Your Coaching Investment

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coaching investmentIn Part 2 of this series, we looked inside an executive coaching engagement, including how it is structured, how goals are set, and what to expect over the course of the engagement. However, no matter how well designed the process or the competency of the coach, executive coaching only delivers results when leaders actively engage in it.

Coaching is not something that happens to you. It is a partnership that depends on how you show up, what you practice between sessions, and how intentionally you apply insights in real-world situations. This final section focuses on how to maximize the value of coaching once you decide to invest so that the time, energy, and resources you commit translate into meaningful, lasting impact.

Come to Sessions Prepared

Treat coaching sessions as some of the most important meetings on your calendar. They are one of the few spaces designed entirely around you and your growth.

Before each session, take time to reflect on what has happened since your last conversation. What situations tested you? Where did you feel effective, or stuck? What commitments did you make, and what progress did you notice?Clarifying one or two priorities you want to focus on allows the session to go deeper, faster.

Your coach can work with whatever you bring, but the leaders who gain the most from coaching arrive with intention, not just updates.

Be Genuinely Open and Honest

Executive coaching works because it creates a confidential space for conversations that rarely happen elsewhere. It is the place where uncertainty, doubt, frustration, and missteps can be examined without consequence.

If you find yourself showing up polished, guarded, or overly strategic, pause. The most meaningful breakthroughs often come from exploring the things you hesitate to say out loud, like patterns you see but have not named, decisions you are avoiding, or feedback you are struggling to integrate.

This is not about oversharing or self-criticism. It is about speaking truth to what matters to move towards meaningful growth. Coaching is most powerful when it reflects what is actually happening, not what you wish were true.

Implement Between Sessions

The real work of coaching happens between conversations. Sessions create clarity and direction; progress comes from what you practice afterward.

This might include testing new leadership behaviors in meetings, applying decision-making frameworks in real time, soliciting feedback from colleagues, or carving out space for reflection. Small experiments done consistently are what turn insight into sustained change.

Coaching is active, not passive. Leaders who treat sessions as stand-alone conversations miss much of the value. Those who apply, reflect, and adjust between sessions see momentum build quickly.

Give Yourself Time to Grow

Leadership development is not linear. New habits take practice and perspective shifts happen gradually. Confidence grows through repetition, not revelation.

Most executive coaching engagements run three to six months at a minimum for this reason. Expect progress, but not perfection. Some weeks will feel energizing and clear; others may surface tension or discomfort. That is not a sign something is not working—it is often a sign you are working at the right level.

Consistency matters more than intensity. Small, sustained changes compound over time.

Share Your Development Strategically

While coaching conversations remain confidential, being open about your commitment to development can be beneficial. Letting your manager or select colleagues know that you are engaged in coaching signals ownership of your growth and often creates positive accountability.

It is not necessary to share details, but even naming the capabilities you are working on, like strategic thinking, executive presence, or navigating complexity, can reinforce alignment and invite support.

When done thoughtfully, this transparency normalizes leadership development and reinforces that growth is not remedial, it is expected.

Invest in Yourself

Executive coaching requires an investment of time, focus, and financial resources. The question leaders rightly ask is whether it is worth it.

Research consistently suggests that it is, but the return is not purely financial.  Many of the leaders we profiled here on theglasshammer.com pointed to lasting and meaningful impacts of executive coaching such as enhanced emotional intelligence, more effective communication, embracing a growth mindset, and an improved ability to flex one’s leadership style. Coaching can help leaders avoid years of frustration, misalignment, or stalled growth by accelerating learning that might otherwise come only through trial and error.

Organizations recognize this value as well. Companies that invest in leadership development through coaching often see higher engagement, stronger retention, and more resilient leadership pipelines.

Your Next Steps

If you are considering executive coaching, here is how to move forward thoughtfully.

Step 1: Clarify What You Want

Be specific about what would make coaching valuable for you. “Become a better leader” is too broad. “Strengthen my strategic voice in executive forums” or “prepare for a larger role within the next 12–18 months” gives focus and direction.

Your goals may relate to advancement, transition, leadership effectiveness, team performance, or sustainability. Clarity at the outset helps ensure the coaching engagement is designed to serve what matters most.

Step 2: Explore Support Options

Start by looking inside your organization. Many companies sponsor executive coaching for leaders, particularly at moments of increased scope, transition, or growth. If coaching is not already offered, raising the conversation with HR or your manager can be a productive first step, especially when framed around leadership effectiveness and business impact.

At Evolved People Coaching, we partner with both individuals and organizations, tailoring engagements to leadership goals, business realities, and development needs.  We offer assessments, including qualitative 360 feedback reports, to ground the work in data, providing a clear picture of strengths, patterns, and opportunities that inform a focused coaching plan from the start.

Whether sponsored by your organization or self-funded, the goal is the same: a coaching relationship designed to support meaningful, sustained growth.

Step 3: Commit Fully

Once you decide coaching is right for you, commit to the process. Protect time for sessions and reflection, engage honestly with the work, and apply what you are learning consistently.

Leaders who approach coaching with curiosity and discipline see results faster and more reliably.

Step 4: Measure and Adjust

Effective coaching includes regular check-ins on progress. Are you moving toward your stated goals? What changes are you noticing? Where do you want to go deeper?

These conversations keep the work aligned and ensure the engagement continues to serve your evolving needs.

The Choice That Changes Everything

Talent and hard work matter, but they are rarely enough on their own. The leaders who grow most effectively are intentional about their development. They seek feedback. They invest in perspective. They build capabilities before they are urgently needed.

You can navigate leadership through trial and error, learning slowly and reacting as challenges arise. Or you can engage a strategic partner who helps you think more clearly, act more intentionally, and grow with purpose.

If you are ready to explore what executive coaching could look like for you or your organization, schedule a complimentary exploratory conversation with Nicki Gilmour, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com and Evolved People Coaching here: BOOK SESSION

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How Executive Coaching Works

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how executive coaching worksIn Part 1 of this series, we explored why executive coaching is a relevant development choice for leaders navigating complexity, rising expectations, and fewer built-in supports inside organizations as budgets are scrutinized in the learning function. We focused on what coaching can deliver: clarity, self-awareness, accountability, resilience, and a trusted thinking partnership.

Understanding how coaching actually works is the next step. The process itself is often discussed in abstract terms, which can make it difficult to know what to expect or how to evaluate whether coaching is right for you. This article takes a practical look at what happens inside a coaching engagement, how coaching conversations unfold, and what to consider when choosing a coach.

The Coaching Process

Most executive coaching engagements follow a structured rhythm rather than an open-ended or ad hoc approach. Coaching typically begins with an initial contracting and discovery phase, during which you and your coach clarify what your “north star” will be – the overarching goals you want to work on throughout the engagement. Even if you do not exactly know this as a defined sentence or paragraph, your coach will skillfully help you ascertain “what good looks like” by the end of the engagement.

In many engagements, this early phase includes the use of assessments or 360-degree qualitative feedback reports. These may involve leadership style inventories, personality or strengths assessments, or confidential feedback gathered from managers, peers, direct reports, and key stakeholders. At Evolved People Coaching, we offer assessments such as DiSC, Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team, and the Hogan Leadership suite as well as comprehensive qualitative 360 stakeholder interviews and thematic feedback reports. The purpose of these tools is not evaluation or performance management, but insight. They help surface patterns, blind spots, and discrepancies between how leaders see themselves and how others experience them.

When used well, assessments and 360 feedback provide a shared data set that informs the coaching plan. They help focus the work on what will have the greatest impact, grounding coaching goals in both self-perception and external feedback.

From there, coaching sessions typically take place every two to four weeks and last between 60 and 90 minutes. Each session builds on the last, creating continuity and momentum over time. Sessions often include reflection on recent experiences, exploration of current challenges, examination of patterns or assumptions, and agreement on actions to test before the next meeting.

However, it is the action and work between sessions that really creates the forward momentum. Leaders apply new approaches, experiment with behaviors, seek feedback, and reflect on outcomes. This between-session application is where coaching moves from insight to meaningful change.

Most engagements last between three and twelve months, depending on the scope of goals and the complexity of the leader’s context. Some leaders engage a coach for a specific transition or challenge, while others work with a coach across multiple stages of their career.

What Actually Happens in Coaching Sessions

Coaching conversations differ from consulting or mentoring conversations in one important way: the focus is not on advice-giving. Rather than telling you what to do, a coach uses questions, reflection, and observation to help you think more clearly and see situations from new angles.

You might be asked questions such as: What feels most important here? What outcome are you aiming for? What assumptions are shaping your response? What are you saying “no” to if you say “yes” to this? What would it look like to experiment or bring curiosity to those challenging moments?

Over time, this style of inquiry helps leaders strengthen their own capacity for reflection and decision-making. Many leaders find that they begin asking themselves these questions outside of coaching sessions, applying the thinking process independently.

In addition to asking questions, a coach acts as a mirror. They may reflect patterns they notice, for example how you talk about success, where you hesitate, how you frame challenges, or where energy rises or drops. These observations help close the gap between intention and impact, allowing leaders to make more deliberate choices about how they show up.

The Coach–Client Relationship

At the core of effective coaching is a relationship built on trust, confidentiality, and partnership. Coaching conversations are confidential, even when the coaching is sponsored by an organization. This confidentiality creates psychological safety, the ability to speak openly about uncertainty, doubt, and complexity without fear of evaluation or consequence.

The relationship is also collaborative. You set the agenda for each session, decide what to work on, and choose which actions to take. The coach’s role is not to direct your career, but to support your thinking, challenge your assumptions, and help you stay aligned with your goals.

This partnership is what makes coaching distinct from mentoring, consulting, or performance management. The value lies not in expertise about your job, but in the quality of thinking the relationship enables.

Choosing the Right Executive Coach

The effectiveness of coaching depends heavily on the quality of the fit between coach and client. While there is no single “right” coach for everyone, several factors matter consistently.

Professional credentials provide a useful baseline. Certifications from organizations such as the International Coaching Federation (ICF) indicate that a coach has completed formal training, adheres to ethical standards, and has been assessed on coaching competency. While credentials alone do not guarantee quality, they signal a serious commitment to the profession.

Relevant experience is also worth considering. Some coaches specialize in particular industries, leadership levels, or types of transitions. Depending on your situation, experience in a similar context may help a coach understand your challenges more quickly. That said, strong coaching skill often matters more than industry expertise, as effective coaching centers on facilitating your thinking rather than providing content knowledge. Nicki Gilmour, our founder and head coach believes there is value in working with coaches who also have a background in social-organizational psychology, social work or clinical psychological or adult learning in addition to being a certified coach. Nicki states,

“Executives are part of a wider eco-system of other humans and their behaviors. This along with cultural norms around how work gets done, and other factors such as management practices, policies, systems and processes, means the work is powerful when seen through context of the team, manager and company itself. Empowering people to map the ‘systemic enablers and disablers’ when navigating their success in addition to looking at optimizing how they show up, creates impactful results.”

Chemistry and trust are critical. Coaching requires openness, reflection, and a willingness to be challenged. At Evolved People Coaching we offer a complimentary initial consultation or chemistry session. Use this time to notice whether you feel heard, whether the questions prompt new thinking, and whether the interaction feels both supportive and stretching. We have a range of coaches who have different styles (DiSC/Insights) and personalities and even backgrounds to ensure you get the right person to be able to be honest and vulnerable in the private sessions. We have an associate pool of ten coaches who we trust.

Finally, consider logistics and structure. Coaching is most effective when it fits realistically into your life. Discuss session frequency, format, and expectations upfront. Most coaching today occurs virtually, offering flexibility in both scheduling and access, but structure and consistency still matter. Face to face still matters and can be done, but virtual also works as well.

A Foundation for Making the Most of Coaching

Understanding how executive coaching works helps you engage more intentionally — whether you are considering coaching for the first time or refining an existing engagement. Coaching is not a passive experience. Its impact depends on clarity of goals, quality of the relationship, and the leader’s willingness to reflect, experiment, and apply insights in real time.

In Part 3 of this series, we will turn to how leaders can make the most of their investment in coaching. We will explore how to approach coaching with intention and practical next steps for beginning a coaching relationship that genuinely supports your growth.

If you are ready to start, please book in with Nicki Gilmour to have a complimentary call to explore your goals and challenges and be matched with the right coach here: BOOK SESSION

By Jessica Robaire, writer for theglasshammer, executive coach at Evolved People Coaching

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Your Leadership Development Partner in 2026: How Executive Coaching Transforms Your Career Journey

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leadership development partner - executive coachingThe workplace in 2026 demands more from leaders than ever before. Hybrid teams still require some new management approaches to engage those in the room and on the screen. An understatement is that AI is reshaping how work gets done and will get done in the future. The result is a leadership landscape defined by ambiguity, fast-shifting expectations, and relentless productivity pressure.

Against this backdrop, choosing to engage an executive coach gives leaders the opportunity to think more deliberately about how they lead and how they grow. Research suggests that executive coaching supports improvements in leadership effectiveness, self-awareness, goal clarity, and resilience. Behaviorial flexing to learning, thinking styles and task styles are capabilities and can be learned as skills and have become increasingly important as roles expand and complexity increases.

To offer a comprehensive view of executive coaching, this three-part series explores not only its potential benefits, but also what executive coaching is, how it works, and how leaders can make the most of the investment. Whether you are an executive paying for your own development or an HR professional looking for leadership development coaches and team coaching in an offsite format, we want to hear from you.

Part 1 focuses on why executive coaching matters. It reviews the evolving demands on leaders, and the concrete outcomes associated with a high-quality coaching engagement.

Part 2 looks behind the curtain at how executive coaching actually works — what happens inside a coaching relationship, how the process unfolds, and how to evaluate and select the right coach for your goals, style, and context.

Part 3 turns to how to make the most of your investment, exploring how to actively engage in coaching to accelerate growth and practical next steps to move forward.

Why Executive Coaching Matters

Corporate training budgets today remain heavily weighted toward technical skills, systems training, and compliance requirements. Leadership development, when it exists, is often episodic rather than sustained. Traditional mentorship programs have largely disappeared in remote and hybrid environments. The informal learning that once happened through hallway conversations and after-work gatherings has changed in quantity and also was never a completely consistent practice by or for all.

Meanwhile, leadership complexity has intensified. Leaders are managing teams across time zones, navigating constant technological change, making decisions with incomplete information, and doing it all while maintaining work-life integration that often feels elusive.

Engaging with an executive coach helps leaders chart a path through the complexity. It provides personalized development when organizations cannot, strategic guidance when you are facing novel challenges, and accountability when it is easy to deprioritize your own growth.

This personalized approach matters because leadership is not one-size-fits-all. The skills that make you effective are deeply connected to who you are: your values, your strengths, your communication style, your life circumstances. Coaching helps you develop leadership that is both effective and authentic.

What Executive Coaching Actually Delivers

Let’s move beyond abstractions to concrete outcomes you can expect from a quality coaching engagement:

1. Clarity That Drives Action

Given the many demands on leaders today, it is no wonder that many feel like they are operating in perpetual reaction mode: responding to emails, attending meetings, and putting out fires. Coaching creates space for leaders to step back and ask fundamental questions: What am I actually trying to achieve? What matters most? Where should I focus my limited time and energy? What does success look like for me personally, not just professionally?

This clarity becomes a decision-making filter so that when opportunities arise, you can evaluate them against your actual priorities rather than defaulting to yes or getting swept along by others’ agendas. Research shows that working with an executive coach increases goal clarity and goal attainment, helping leaders move from urgency-driven behavior to intentional, strategic action.

2. Self-Awareness That Transforms Effectiveness

You cannot see yourself the way others see you. You can’t observe your own patterns, blind spots, or the gap between your intentions and your impact. This is where coaching becomes invaluable.

Through powerful questions, reflection exercises, and sometimes formal assessments, coaching builds the self-awareness that distinguishes good leaders from great ones. You discover how your communication style lands with different people, which strengths you’re overusing or undervaluing, what triggers cause you to react rather than respond, and where your assumptions limit your possibilities. Of note, leadership research consistently links emotional intelligence, of which self-awareness is a key component, to leadership effectiveness, team cohesion, and motivation, which executive coaching helps leaders develop over time.

3. Strategies for Your Specific Challenges

Leadership challenges are often maddeningly context-specific. How do you give difficult feedback to a high performer who has behaviors that negatively effect team culture? How do you influence senior stakeholders when you lack formal authority? How do you manage your energy when your role demands constant availability? How do you make the case for promotion without seeming entitled?

Books and training programs offer general principles. Your coach helps you develop strategies tailored to your specific situation, taking into account your organizational culture, your relationships, your constraints, and your goals. Generic advice rarely moves the needle; specific strategies do.

4. Accountability That Drives Change

Knowing what to do and actually doing it are entirely different challenges. We’ve all set goals only to abandon them when the daily grind takes over. Coaching provides structure and accountability that transforms intentions into actions.

Your coach holds you accountable not through judgment but through partnership. Between sessions, you implement agreed-upon actions, experiment with new approaches, gather feedback, and track progress. They then return to reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what to adjust next. This cycle of action and reflection is where lasting change occurs.

5. Resilience to Navigate Setbacks

Every career includes setbacks: projects that fail, promotions you don’t get, relationships that sour, or reorganizations that derail your plans. How you respond to these moments often matters more than the setbacks themselves.

Coaching builds resilience by helping you process challenges productively, maintain perspective, develop coping strategies for high-stress situations, learn from failure without internalizing it as identity, and sustain motivation over time. Leadership coaching has been shown to increase leaders’ confidence in navigating their roles and improve trust in their direct reports, both critical factors in bouncing back from challenges.

6. Skills That Compound Over Time

Some professional development delivers immediate returns but little lasting value. Coaching is different. The skills you develop, like emotional intelligence or communication effectiveness, compound throughout your career.

A feedback framework learned today remains useful for decades. Increased self-awareness carries across roles and organizations. Communication shifts ripple through every future relationship. This compounding effect explains why coaching continues to deliver value long after the formal engagement ends.

7. Permission to Lead Authentically

Many professionals feel pressure to conform to leadership stereotypes that do not fit who they are. The charismatic extrovert. The tough boss. The relentless competitor.

Coaching offers a third option: developing a leadership style that is both effective and authentically you. This means honoring your values while building influence, leading in ways that energize rather than drain you, using your natural strengths rather than trying to eliminate weaknesses, and building teams that complement your style rather than compensate for it. Coaching helps you lead from a place of integrity and self-knowledge rather than imitation.

8. A Thinking Partner for Complex Decisions

Senior leadership can be isolating. The higher you rise, the fewer people you can speak with candidly. Your direct reports need confidence. Your boss evaluates judgment. Your peers may compete.

An executive coach becomes a confidential thinking partner, someone without agenda or judgment, providing a confidential space to think out loud, test ideas, and consider implications before acting. Having this thinking partner is not a sign of weakness; it is a strategic advantage that many effective leaders leverage intentionally.

A Deliberate Investment in How You Lead

Executive coaching is about supporting leaders at moments when complexity increases, stakes rise, and familiar strategies no longer suffice. In a workplace defined by constant change, coaching offers something increasingly rare: time, perspective, and partnership focused entirely on how you lead and how you grow. If you are ready to be matched with one of our coaches, please book a free exploratory conversation with our Founder and Head Coach, Nicki Gilmour here: BOOK SESSION

By Nicki Gilmour, Founder and CEO, theglasshammer and Evolved People Coaching

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Words of Wisdom from Women in Leadership 2025 (Part 2)

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Words of Wisdom 2025 part 2Part 2 of Words of Wisdom 2025 features women leaders who highlight the power of owning your identity, trusting your instincts, and creating environments where others can excel. They also speak openly about navigating visibility in male-dominated spaces, redefining success on their own terms, and choosing collaboration over competition. Their reflections remind us that leadership is not just about what you achieve, but about how you show up, what you stand for, and the communities you build along the way.

These insights paint a picture of leadership that is grounded, human, and deeply personal. And as we share their perspectives, we also look ahead to how coaching can support leaders in living these principles more fully and navigating their careers with clarity and confidence.

On Being Yourself – Truly:

“I wasn’t out in the first decade of my career at the NFL…Everyone always says, ‘Be yourself,’ but that’s easy when you look and act like the default person at an organization,” she reflects. “It’s a lot more challenging when you are a member of the gay community, or the Black community, or the Latinx community…when I felt confident enough to make the change to come out and be myself unapologetically, I started to thrive.”

Sam Rappaport, CEO Blue80

On Being Bold and Owning What Makes You Unique:

“There’s a big real estate conference I go to every year,” she says. “You queue to board the flight, and it’s just a sea of men in navy suits. I make a point of wearing something bright and own the fact that I’m not the guy in the navy suit. I’m the woman in the bright red dress. It’s an opportunity to be seen.”

She emphasizes, “Being different can make you more memorable. It’s not just about gender. You might be younger, newer, or from a different background. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to be visible. Have confidence and own it.”

Nicola Free: Managing Director, Head of CRE, EMEA, Wells Fargo

On Fostering Growth Over Competition:

“My Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach always says he never hides the best parts of his game because if someone can master it in two weeks and beat him, they deserve to win.” The same philosophy, she says, applies in leadership. “Helping my associate grow, bringing her along and giving her what I can to help her succeed doesn’t threaten me; it strengthens the team, and if I ever move on, she’s ready to step in.”

Marie Bober: Chief Compliance Officer and Senior Counsel, Moelis Asset Management

On Redefining Success:

“Your career is not a ladder, it’s a landscape. Don’t be afraid to move sideways, take a leap, or build something of your own and test a hypothesis. Solving a big problem is where the real growth lies. If you opt to build a hobby business that’s fine too. Just define what success means to you.”

Sally J. Clarke: Entrepreneur and Author

On Leading Collaboratively:

“I used to wait until every idea was perfect. Now, I bring it to the table early. It invites feedback and makes the work better.”

Heather Plumski: President, Stearns Bank

On Leaning on Your Values to Navigate Challenges:

“In facing challenges or change, I always go back to the questions: Am I in the right place? Am I surrounded by the right people? Am I learning? Am I growing? When you can identify core tenets to return to and hold yourself to them, they become a guide for navigating almost anything.”

Johanna Diaz: Global Head of Alternatives Product Strategy, Goldman Sachs

On the Importance of Building Community:

“I’ve moved and started over several times. Managing those transitions successfully is only possible when you make community, when you connect with people, when you find affinity and appreciate differences. The differences are where you learn.”

Angela Cruz: Sales Effectiveness Leader, Sales Excellence, Accenture

On Effective Communication in All Directions:

“With my team that means ensuring they understand the vision, are aligned around the priorities and the mission, and are inspired to do their best work to deliver for our clients. To do that, I spend a lot of time with the team individually and in groups.”

In communicating up and out to executives, regulators, and the board, Young explains, “It’s about taking the complex and making it simple, understanding your audience, and tailoring your message with the right level of detail.”

Nicole Young: Head of CRE Portfolio Management, Wells Fargo

On Building Teams Through Talent:

“High-performing teams are not built by accident; they come from spotting potential others might overlook and giving people the chance to prove themselves. One of my best hires did not meet the checklist on paper, but I knew she had what it would take. She went on to become a star. As Steve Jobs once said, it does not make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do. My role is to create the conditions for their talent to shine.”

Deborah Overdeput: Chief Operating Officer, Innovative Systems (FinScan, Enlighten, PostLocate)

Moving Into 2026 With Intention

The experiences shared in this collection show how leadership grows when you are willing to know yourself, trust your values, and stay open to learning. Whether you are choosing to be seen, strengthening communication, empowering talent, or building community, these moments of growth rarely happen by accident. They come from intention and support.

Executive coaching provides a dedicated space to strengthen these muscles. Research shows that coaching enhances emotional intelligence, builds communication agility, and helps leaders make more grounded, aligned decisions. A coach helps you explore what matters most, see patterns you may overlook, and translate your aspirations into meaningful action.

As the year comes to a close and you prepare to enter 2026, this is an ideal moment to pause and consider where you want to focus your energy next. If these stories sparked recognition or inspired a shift in how you see your own leadership, take that as encouragement to invest in yourself. An executive coach can help you clarify your direction, accelerate your development, and step into the new year with confidence and purpose.

Book your free exploratory coaching session today and begin 2026 with intention and momentum.

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Words of Wisdom from Women in Leadership 2025 (Part 1)

words of wisdom 2025In 2025, a clear theme emerged from the leaders we had the privilege of profiling: meaningful leadership grows from the relationships we build, the self-awareness we cultivate, and the courage we bring to each new chapter. Across industries and backgrounds, these women shared the habits and mindsets that have shaped their journeys, including building personal boards of advisors, embracing discomfort as a catalyst for growth, strengthening EQ, and remembering to look beyond the demands of a single role to the broader arc of a career.

Words of Wisdom 2025 brings their insights together in this first installment, with Part 2 coming in future weeks. As we reflect on their stories, we will also explore how coaching can help leaders deepen these practices and accelerate their development. We are grateful for the candor and generosity each woman offered. Their voices continue to illuminate what intentional, authentic leadership looks like and the possibilities that open when we stay curious and committed to our own evolution.

On why networking matters

“In each stage of my career I’ve heeded the advice to build my personal board. It’s thinking about who are the five or six people to go to for very critical decisions? Why are they on your board? Why do they keep a seat on your board, or do you rotate them? They can be a mix of mentors, sponsors, or just people whose opinions you trust.”

Alexandra Wilson-Elizondo: Partner, Co-Chief Investment Officer of Multi-Asset Solutions (MAS), Goldman Sachs Asset Management

On leadership styles evolving

“As I moved higher in my career, I recognized the value of awareness and empathy, understanding different perspectives, styles, and what motivates the current workforce as it’s different from when I was a young professional.”
Today, her leadership prioritizes open communication and constructive feedback. “I have been focused on rebalancing my ‘get things done’ upbringing with understanding how people receive and digest information, and how they can grow.”

Daniela Shapiro: Senior Managing Director, HASI

On embracing change

“I’m not someone who loves change,” confesses Burger. “But one of the best pieces of advice I got—and now share—is to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Challenges can be scary because inevitably they involve change, but it leads to growth. It’s about taking calculated risks and being okay with change when you know it can lead to something better.”

Julie Burger: Co-Head of Public Finance, Wells Fargo

On finding strength in uniqueness through executive coaching

“I focused on how I could be more structured, more powerful, more impactful—so that my French accent became a strength. The firm provided me with a coach who helped me work on my communication and presentation style, which really made a difference. I also found having an external perspective, someone who listens and helps you understand how others hear you, to be invaluable.”

Pamela Codo-Lotti: Partner, Global Chief Operating Officer of Shareholder Activism Defense, Goldman Sachs

On the value of EQ in navigating client relationships

“Working with clients across industries and influencing multiple stakeholders requires emotional intelligence. Every corporation has a different culture, every CFO has a different way they like to be engaged. Understanding that and adapting your approach is critical.”

Alex Douklias: Vice Chair, Corporate Banking, Wells Fargo Corporate & Investment Banking

On building teams with diverse viewpoints and approaches

Marsland recalls a former manager who exclusively hired people with identical approaches. “You end up with a team that lacks diversity in thinking. I don’t think that’s great for business.”

“I want different perspectives, different strengths. One person might be great at presentations; another might excel in negotiations. As long as the job gets done, I don’t need everyone to work the same way.”

Jennifer Marsland: Head of Sales, North America, World Travel Protection

On not losing sight of the bigger picture

“It’s important to remember that your career and your job are two different things. Whether you are happy in your current job or not, you always want to think about your broader career trajectory outside of the present position…Keep up with LinkedIn and go to networking events. Don’t get so heads-down focused on being successful in your current job that you don’t also build connections outside in industry and peer groups.”

Christine McIntyre: Chief Financial Officer, Raftelis

On the impact of a coaching mindset

“My training as a coach has impacted me in foundational ways. That includes not letting fear drive decision making, because in coaching you learn how to look at the worst-case scenario and explore questions like, ‘how bad can it really be? What if that happens? What can you do about it?’ That mindset has impacted my ability to adapt and flex and pivot.”

Natalie Runyon: Content Strategist for ESG, Human Rights Crimes and AI in Courts, Thomson Reuters

On navigating a crossroads when confidence falters

“Firstly, ask this. What was the best moment in the last 12 to 24 months of your life? Often we are so focused on the summit, we don’t look back to see how much ground we’ve covered. So I ask people to find the best moment – personal and professional – and double-click into that moment to ask what you did to make that moment a reality. It did not happen by luck or chance. It was your strengths and talents that made it happen.”

Lisa Sun, Gravitas Founder & CEO & Best-Selling Author

How Coaching Can Accelerate This Wisdom

What ties all these insights together is the active work of becoming. Growth requires intention, perspective, and the willingness to look honestly at how we show up. That is where executive coaching becomes a powerful accelerator. Research consistently shows that coaching strengthens emotional intelligence, improves decision-making, and helps leaders translate insight into sustained behavioral change.

A coach helps you do exactly what these leaders describe: examine how you communicate, challenge unhelpful assumptions, reconnect with your strengths, and navigate uncertainty with more confidence. Coaching provides the structured space that busy professionals rarely give themselves, especially at this time of year, when reflection and recalibration naturally come into focus.

As we close out 2025 and prepare to step into 2026, consider how you want to lead in the year ahead. If this collection sparked recognition or reminded you of the leader you aim to be, take it as an invitation to act. Seek out an executive coach who can help you deepen these practices, expand your impact, and enter the new year with clarity, purpose, and intention.

Book your session today and start 2026 with intentional growth.

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Johanna Diaz: Global Head of Alternatives Product Strategy, Goldman Sachs

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Johanna Diaz“In facing challenges or change, I always go back to the questions: Am I in the right place? Am I surrounded by the right people? Am I learning? Am I growing?” says Johanna Diaz. “When you can identify core tenets to return to and hold yourself to them, they become a guide for navigating almost anything.”

Led as much by her intuition as by the foundational aspirations of her first-generation beginnings, Diaz leverages every opportunity to learn, grow, and lead. She shares how her trajectory reflects not only her resilience but also the support of mentors whose influence continues to inform her leadership.

From the Bronx to Goldman Sachs

Born in the Bronx to parents who immigrated from the Dominican Republic, Diaz understood the value of education from an early age: “being a first-generation American, my parents made it a priority for my siblings and me. We were the first in our family to attend university and enter the business world.”

For Diaz, that focus on education was also a path to financial stability, which led her to pursue accounting — a profession she saw as both practical and reliable. Starting her career first as an intern and then as a CPA at Grant Thornton, Diaz gained both skills and exposure. When she was first introduced to Goldman Sachs as a client of Grant Thornton, the experience left an impression.

“I was blown away by the caliber of the people, the rigor around collaborative teamwork and the focus on delivery.” That exposure opened her eyes to possibilities beyond what Diaz had imagined. When the opportunity came to join Goldman, she took the leap. “That was the first big twist in my career as it redirected my vision from accounting to a whole other world of possibility.”

Over the next two decades, Diaz’ career grew organically across business development, research, and ultimately asset management to be the Global Head of Alternatives Product Strategy, a role that she finds equally rewarding and inspiring.

“The last five years have been so incredible, pivoting to the alternative investing landscape. I’ve had the opportunity to help build a business from scratch and expand the shelf as it relates to our products. The content, as well as being a part of a team that is integral to Goldman Sachs’ growth has been so fulfilling.”

The Influence of Mentors and Executive Coaching

Diaz credits her ability to pivot, take risks, and grow in new roles as being bolstered by the mentors who offered guidance and perspective along the way. An early mentor gave her a piece of advice that still resonates: take stock every few years.

“That conversation was pivotal for me. Even 20 years later, every two to three years, I take a personal moment of deep reflection: Where am I? Have I accomplished what I set out to do? Could there be more? That practice has guided me throughout my entire time at Goldman.”

She sees mentors as a personal “board of directors” — people who know her well and can be honest when she calls on them for guidance, whether about career decisions or balancing family and work. “My mentors played a huge role in helping me navigate my personal journey, including building a family, while building momentum in my career.”

Executive coaching complemented that support, giving Diaz structured feedback and tools to grow. Early programs offered through Goldman helped her refine presentation skills, while later on she focused on refining “leadership and communication skills but in a more nuanced way than I’d ever had before.”

Together, mentorship and coaching have provided Diaz with both a trusted sounding board and a framework for continuous growth, shaping the leader she is today.

Values-Driven Leadership

Beyond the mentors and coaches who helped guide her, Diaz points to a foundation of authenticity and integrity as key to her success.

“First and foremost, it’s important to remain true to yourself,” she says. “All of my values anchor around being a good human and working with high integrity. They guide me through everything I do.”

Fairness is equally central. Diaz strives to create a work environment where people feel valued, connected, and confident that they will be treated justly. “I want to be someone people feel comfortable approaching,” she explains. “They should know I’ll listen and provide support.” Drawing on lessons from leaders she has worked with, Diaz shapes her leadership around trust, relationship-building, and followership.

Hard work and high standards also define her approach. She believes in delivering quality work with reliable outcomes and modeling excellence to inspire her team to do the same. “As a baseline, I expect that not only of myself, but it’s also important to me to set the right example that my team then wants to follow,” she notes.

Embracing Risk

While Diaz’s career has been marked by achievement, it has not been without moments of uncertainty. She recalls these moments as an opportunity to pause and reflect.

“Early on, I faced a decision about whether to continue in research or move toward a more strategic, leadership-focused role. It was uncomfortable because I wasn’t sure I’d excel, but I leaned on my core values and trusted mentors to guide the decision.”

Over time, Diaz has learned to embrace risk thoughtfully, viewing it as an opportunity to challenge herself and explore new possibilities. Her recent transition into asset management illustrates this approach. Encouraged by a mentor to consider another part of the firm, she reflects, “it was through that conversation that I realized that it was time to take a risk. I was super comfortable. I had a lot of security. I had to consider, ‘do I want to push myself a little more?’”

Deciding to “take a risk on herself” and accept the opportunity to become the COO of Goldman’s growth business, Diaz says, “was a big transition. But it pushed me, and it’s been the most pivotal part of my career.”

Legacy of Access and Opportunity

Looking ahead, Diaz is focused on creating opportunities for others to grow, much like she was supported throughout her career. “I hope to provide a platform for the teams I work with, and for the junior professionals I mentor, where they have access, exposure, and opportunity the way I did.”

Reflecting on her own journey, Diaz acknowledges how her first-generation roots are a part of shaping this commitment. “We really have lived the proverbial American dream. My parents grew up on a farm — my mom one of 12 kids, my dad one of nine — and through a combination of hard work, timing, and a little luck, we’ve seen growth that isn’t just financial. It’s also about access to the world, to opportunities that otherwise wouldn’t have been organic. It’s important to me and my family to pay it forward.”

Thanks to the holistic support embedded in Goldman’s culture, Diaz also makes an impact beyond the firm through programs like 10,000 Small Businesses. “Having the opportunity to serve as a mentor in the program, I have listened to small business owners’ pitches and given feedback—providing people with access that they otherwise wouldn’t have.”

Ultimately, Diaz measures her legacy by the people she supports. By combining high standards, integrity, and a values-driven leadership style, she aims to cultivate talent, inspire confidence, and foster a culture where people feel valued, challenged, and capable of achieving their potential.

“If, 20 years from now, I can look back and see that the people I touched built successful, meaningful careers, then I’ll know I’ve done my part.”

By Jessica Robaire

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Heather Plumski: President, Stearns Bank

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Heather Plumski“I lead with integrity and faith,” says Heather Plumski. “That means being honest, thorough, and accountable.”

As President of Stearns Bank, Plumski brings a rare blend of head and heart. She shares how her leadership is driven by values, grounded in purpose, and distinguished by forward thinking with a readiness to own both the good and the bad.

From Part-Time Teller to President

Plumski’s journey started in forensic science before pivoting to accounting, completing her degree in two years. While classmates chased big-city roles, she chose central Minnesota and a part-time teller job that turned into a career.

“I didn’t even know what a credit analyst was,” she recalls. “But it let me work with numbers and small businesses both objectively and subjectively to understand their needs…which I found to be incredibly rewarding.”

Since joining Stearns in 2005, Plumski has led through every phase from underwriting through the Great Recession to helping build the SBA and equipment finance programs. As CFO, she drove strategy. Now, as President, she leads a women-owned, employee-owned institution committed to helping people reach their full financial potential.

“We walk the walk. As employee-owners, we understand the challenges our customers face, and we build solutions that serve them.”

Authentic, Inclusive Leadership

Plumski’s leadership style is rooted in authenticity. “You can’t fake it,” she says. “When you’re aligned with who you are, your decisions get clearer, your leadership gets stronger.”

Her collaborative approach encourages open thinking. “I used to wait until every idea was perfect. Now, I bring it to the table early. It invites feedback and makes the work better.”

She credits her growth to staying curious and stretching beyond her comfort zone. One major stretch? Leading technology. “It was like learning a new language. But I learned I didn’t need to know everything I needed to trust the experts around me.”

Just Keep Going

Plumski pushes back on perfectionism and encourages boldness. “Women often hesitate if they don’t check every box. My advice? Don’t count yourself out – say yes before you say no.”

Her mantra: “Don’t quit on a bad day.” That resilience, she says, has made all the difference.

Coaching, Clarity, and Perspective

Executive coaching has been a game changer for Plumski. “It pulls me out of the weeds. I walk away with clearer thinking, stronger communication, and better perspective.”

Even when she feels too busy to take the call, she never skips it. “I always leave better than I came.”

Empowering Employees, Growing Communities

Looking forward, Plumski is focused on deepening Stearns Bank’s impact from growing employee ownership to expanding inclusive financial solutions nationwide.

“Our Employee Stock Ownership Plan isn’t just a model. It’s a movement,” she says. “When we help our customers succeed, our employee-owners build generational wealth.”

That sense of shared prosperity also drives Stearns’ focus on underserved markets. “We listen first. Then we build whether it’s through our Salaam Banking Division or nonprofit solutions. And by the time the rest of the industry catches up, we’re already on to what’s next.”

Family and the Mountains

When she’s not leading a national bank, Plumski is hiking, running, canoeing and simply soaking in family life with her four kids, husband and extended friends and family.

“There’s something about the mountains,” she says. “They remind me how small we are, and how big our purpose can be.”

By Jessica Robaire

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Why Coaching Is So Powerful for Senior Leaders

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Nicki GilmourAt the top of the organizational ladder, senior leaders often face a paradox: the higher they rise, the fewer people are willing — or able — to give them honest feedback. Leadership can become isolating. Expectations grow, complexity increases, and decisions carry more weight. Yet the space to reflect, grow, and challenge one’s own thinking often shrinks.  This is precisely where coaching becomes not just valuable, but transformative. 

Here are six powerful ways coaching helps senior leaders reclaim perspective and lead with greater clarity and impact.

1. A Rare Space for Honest Reflection

Senior leaders are frequently surrounded by people with competing agendas or cautious filters. Coaching offers a confidential, judgment-free space where leaders can think out loud, test assumptions, and examine blind spots without political risk.

Unlike a board or a management team, a coach’s only agenda is the leader’s development. This objectivity is rare, and incredibly powerful.

2. Support for Navigating Complexity and Ambiguity

The senior leadership landscape is rarely black and white. Decisions involve trade-offs, incomplete information, and wide-ranging impact. Coaches help leaders pause, zoom out, and reflect strategically instead of reacting tactically or emotionally.

By asking the right questions, coaches encourage broader thinking, deeper listening, and more thoughtful decision-making.

3. Development of Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

At the executive level, leadership success is less about technical expertise and more about emotional intelligence — how you show up, communicate, and influence others. Coaches help leaders build self-awareness around their behaviors, mindsets, and emotional triggers.

This kind of insight enables leaders to better manage themselves and others, particularly during periods of stress, change, or conflict.

4. Challenging the Comfort Zone

Senior leaders are often expected to be the ones challenging others. But who challenges them?

A skilled coach holds up a mirror and asks the difficult questions:

  • What are you avoiding?
  • Where are you playing it safe?
  • How might your leadership style be limiting your impact?

This challenge, balanced with support, drives real growth. Coaching helps leaders stretch into new mindsets and evolve in ways that books, courses, or peer feedback often can’t match.

5. From Competence to Legacy

Many senior leaders have mastered execution. They know how to hit goals, run operations, and deliver results. But coaching shifts the focus from short-term performance to long-term impact.

Leaders explore questions like:

  • What kind of leader do I want to be remembered as?
  • How do I build a culture that lasts beyond me?
  • What legacy am I creating?

This reflective process often unlocks deeper purpose and renews energy at a stage where burnout or stagnation can set in.

6. A Catalyst for Inclusive and Adaptive Leadership

Coaching also supports the shift from authority-based leadership to more inclusive, adaptive leadership which is an essential trait in today’s diverse, fast-changing world.

Senior leaders who work with coaches are more likely to:

  • Listen deeply to different perspectives
  • Navigate change with agility
  • Empower and develop others effectively

These are not just soft skills—they’re core capabilities for modern leadership.

Take Your Leadership to the Next Level with an Executive Coach

Coaching is about unlocking potential. For senior leaders, it offers a rare combination of support, challenge, and reflection that’s hard to find elsewhere. It turns leadership from a role into a practice, helping executives lead not just with authority, but with wisdom, clarity, and humanity. In a world where the demands on leaders have never been greater, coaching provides something invaluable: the space to grow.

Book your complimentary exploration of coaching conversation for your leadership development plans for yourself or your team with Nicki Gilmour our head coach and founder here at theglasshammer.com

By Nicki Gilmour, founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com and Evolved People Coaching

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Own Your Energy: Seven Keys to Honing Your Personal Power

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own your personal powerOne power dynamic we rarely speak explicitly about is the one with yourself. Yet it’s arguably the most powerful relationship impacting your work, your leadership, and your life.

Are you still perceiving power as the ability to exert control over others – or to be subject to another’s control? What if you began to define power instead as the energy you cultivate when you move in alignment with your truth as you navigate the choices of your days?

In any given situation, do you remember to re-orient yourself towards your axis of personal power? Are you aware of how you leak power? Are you aware of how you build it? No matter the situation, you hold power. How you perceive and steward that power – especially with yourself – matters most.

Leading and empowering others begins with your ability to authentically lead and empower yourself. Here are seven ways to step into greater energetic mastery of personal power.

1) Disrupt the urge to dominate yourself.

In the patriarchal paradigm, achieving outcomes often means using pressure and domination inside of a hierarchy. When you internalize this, you dominate yourself to meet external demands – often at a profound cost to your well-being.

If you laud force over yourself to make things happen, you push beyond your limits, override your embodied truth, and live in chronic stress and anxiety, priming yourself for burnout. As Stephen Covey illustrates, you err when you prioritize the golden eggs (production) over the goose that creates them.

Empowering yourself means honoring how you treat yourself – mentally, energetically, and physically – rather than devaluing yourself. When you stop normalizing self-dominance, it become harder for others to dominate you and easier to discern toxic environments.

2) Start moving from where you stand now.

Often we displace our power to some future, idealized scenario.

You tell yourself that when you reach a certain title, goalpost, or milestone, you’ll finally manage your time better, assert yourself, relax, or set boundaries. If only something were different, you think, or if you attain that one qualification, then you could make the leap.

But any notion that displaces your personal power to a future scenario blinds you to the power you presently hold. It may even create a false story about what is necessary to move toward what you want, suspending your ability to act here and now.

Your ability to affect your experience never lies in the future. It is available in this moment.

3) Stop seeing giants around you.

“If a person continues to see giants, it means he is still looking at the world through the eyes of a child.” ― Anas Nin

In patriarchal culture, we are conditioned to see authority as external to ourselves. No matter how far you are in your career, do you still find yourself projecting disproportionate power onto certain people, especially those with prestigious titles or positions?

True power exists within you – it’s how you manage your energy and choices in every interaction. It can neither be granted nor taken away. It has nothing to do with role, reputation, or permission. It’s embodied from within.

When you see giants around you, you subtly give away your power. If you stopped, what might you be willing to speak, do, or risk?

4) Get honest about what holds power over you.

Unconscious thoughts and behaviors drive most of our daily interactions. More than any person or institution, you surrender your power to beliefs, patterns, stories, habits, and cultural norms. What you repeatedly activate infuses your energy. The narratives you tell yourself shape your lived reality and how much power you have.

When you react rather than respond, you are not in your power. Certain interactions, people, or thoughts can trigger you to lose regulation, unplug your energy, or activate fear-based behaviors.

Bringing these dynamics into your conscious awareness allows you to investigate how you lose power, such as:

  • What beliefs, patterns, and habits unplug your power?
  • How do you silence or diffuse your own voice and possibilities?
  • What story are you telling that disempowers and limits you?
  • Where and how do you abandon your values?

Where you lose power impacts upon your ability to show up authentically in leadership. As the saying goes, the calmest person in the room holds the most power.

Working with an executive coach can help you to reveal and recalibrate the power battles you face within.

5) Practice discernment and boundaries.

“Energy is power. And it is your responsibility to monitor how you manage it.” – Caroline Myss

Navigating your “yes” and “no” is energy management and has consequences for your clarity, health, and sense of power. When you cannot say “no,” you victimize yourself.

Boundaries matter. Not every invitation requires your attention. Not every conflict merits your engagement. Not everyone has free access to your energy and time.

Practicing discernment can strengthen your energetic field, so you are not scattering energy or leaking power. You sense intuitively what is in alignment for you. Sometimes this means action; other times, withdrawing or letting go.

Every time you say “yes” to a clear internal “no,” you chip away at your personal power. It is far healthier for you to disappoint others than to betray yourself. When you manage your energy, you radiate an authenticity and leadership rooted in self-esteem and self-respect.

6) Keep your word with yourself, first.

Trust is a foundation of leadership, including self-leadership. When you deeply trust yourself, you build the inner wholeness essential to personal power. But as Martha Beck writes in “The Way of Integrity,” lying to yourself – even in small ways – wreaks inner havoc.

  • What are you doing that you know hurts you?
  • What are you not doing that it hurts to not be doing?
  • Where are you fibbing to yourself or breaking your own word?
  • Where are you being unfaithful to your truth?

When your thoughts, energy, and actions align, you come from inner coherence. Power rooted in real integrity speaks through your presence, energy, and actions, far more so than power rooted in title, performance, or external validation.

7) Calibrate your presence from within.

The ultimate power you hold is your perception and ability to define your inner experience. Most people live in reaction. Because of X or Y or Z, we must shrink or be afraid or lose trust. But circumstances and meaning are two different things, and context does not dictate response.

You can default to reflecting the environment, or you can anchor your tone from within. You decide whether to mirror chaos and fear and victimhood or to choose calm and groundedness and trust. Personal power happens when you no longer default to unconscious reactions but instead move from conscious choice, sourcing your stability from within.

If there is one power dynamic you master, let it be the one you hold with yourself. This will transform the way you move through every challenge, opportunity, and relationship – and it will redefine the quality of your leadership.

By: Aimee Hansen.  Alongside years of writing on leadership, Aimee Hansen is the founder of Storyteller Within and leads the Journey Into Sacred Expression women’s retreat on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. Her upcoming event is July 26th – August 4th, 2025. Follow her at thestorytellerwithin.com, on instagram, and via Linked In.

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