Tag Archive for: emotional wellness

women's retreatAs we enter spring, summer vacation is approaching. While sometimes a vacation is the perfect break from daily life, other times it may feel like a too short escape. Sometimes, as women, we don’t wish only to take a week away from our lives. Sometimes we want to take a deeper look at how we are feeling in our lives and what belongs here, now? 

Once in a while, a woman admits she skipped the annual girlfriends cocktails on the beach trip or perhaps gifted herself a rare week away alone because she knew she was being called to do something else. That voice came from nowhere but within. Rather than a break, sometimes women want to put the brakes on everything, step back and connect: This is my life: how awake am I to the living of it?

Sometimes we want to listen into our own center with less noise around. We want to take an honest look at whether we are allowing ourselves to feel what we truly feel, be who we want to be and do what we most want to do – and how we, ourselves, might be getting in our way. We want to see if we have fallen into getting by in life instead of enchanting our lives. We want to reimagine our possibilities and shift, within ourselves, to be more intentionally in alignment with our desires.

When women choose a women’s retreat, it’s often because they are confronting a crossroads or seek soul nourishiment or simply a fuller sense of aliveness. Which also means they want an experience of life that is nourished from within rather than defined by constant striving. While often held in an idyllic location with exceptional scenery, the real invitation of a women’s retreat is as much to the inner journey as it is to the travel adventure.

Debating about summer plans?

Here are some reasons why you might choose a women’s retreat this year instead of just the usual summer vacation.

You will release stress and be nurtured. Even short mindfulness retreats have shown a significant reduction in stress and anxiety levels and improved biological markers of inflammation. Going on retreat is a way to strip away the distractions and allow yourself to simply be nourished – by your host, by the warmth and sharing of your fellow participants, by the rich offerings of your surroundings. But not only that – you again remember how to truly nourish yourself while on retreat and the importance of that, and not just for a week.

You can disrupt your routine and thought patterns. We typically think at least 6,000 thoughts a day (some say far more) and up to 90% of thoughts are repetitive. Talk about exhausting! At a retreat, you release control of the small decisions and surrender into a different and foreign rhythm. Why does that matter? It disrupts and shakes up your repetitive thought patterns and creates spaciousness in which you can hear other voices within. It’s amazing how the questions and also being-ness that lie buried just under the busy-ness begin to surface.

You will get back into your body and intuition. We live so predominantly in our minds in the modern world and even more so as faces on screens in the virtual workplace. And how much of achievement culture is based on striving and producing at all costs, even if overriding the physical self? Have your ever actually, even once, crossed off the entire to-do list and finally got to the landing? You have to create it for yourself, regardless. A retreat invites you to get back into your body. Whether through breathing or meditation or yoga or free movement, you are given the opportunity to connect with your body and the rich and embodied insight that lives in your cellular awareness.

You will step out of your roles. We play many roles in our lives, but sometimes, we can get so enmeshed with them that the roles start to parade around as us. A role includes any ‘part’ you play from which you derive value, worth or a sense of identity – both the roles that you love (chief executive, favorite grandmother) and roles that you don’t (undervalued team member, sleepless mom of a difficult child). No matter the role, no matter who assigned it to you, no matter what you’ve made it mean and no matter how much your identity may be wrapped up in it, every role is too small. Sometimes we derive our worth from the roles we play and the scripts we’ve created, displacing it from our core. We can also victimize or aggrandize ourselves through roles. Stepping out of them challenges you to value yourself inherently.

You will be seen, heard and validated. Small talk comprises up to one-third of our speech, and plays an important role in social interaction. But women do not come to a retreat to have the usual conversation. A retreat circle is a circle of women who usually did not know each other previously: it can provide a place without history. No blueprint of your identity exists here. Women often come to shake up the conversation they have with themselves. And sometimes, all it takes is being heard saying something you thought you could not, so you can finally clear your throat and let your voice come through. You are invited to be raw and authentic and unresolved. In a women’s retreat, women come together with the intention to honor and support each other – but in doing so, we also redefine what that means.

You can expect some perspective shifts. Of course, putting yourself in new and often incredible surroundings can refresh your perspective. But, if you dare, expect more. Whether we want to face it, there is no one consensus reality. Our experience of life emerges through our practices of perception. In the context of a women’s retreat, you may be able to see where you are buying into beliefs about yourself and the world that have never worked for you. You may be able to see where you are inhibiting yourself with the patterns or false virtues or committing to things you don’t want to with regular reinforcing action, instead of what you want. What if you’ve played down the part of you that would benefit you most to play up? You may recognize that you are sitting in victimhood where it would feel so much more empowering to recognize your agency and your choice. What if the world and your options are not nearly as limited as you have been determined to see them?

You may feel a rush of life force or have new visions. In a women’s retreat, you are invited to remember that being self-loving is how you fill your own cup, so that you can spill over. As you begin to pour into yourself on retreat, with less going on externally to take up space within you, do not be surprised if you begin to feel like you are accessing more of yourself. You may find more to be grateful for. You may remember a vivid energy or quality about yourself that you’ve forgotten and now want to bring back. Or a new way you want to share from your heart. You may realize you have enough resource and energy to make real steps, first within, towards a change you wish for. You may simply feel more at peace and able to be less shaken by the chaos outside of you. But it would be very rare if you thought and felt exactly the same as you did arriving.

Which is the main point, really. So, the biggest reason to skip the traditional summer vacation and go on a women’s retreat this year? What animates you most in life is living into and showing up for this adventure of you.

By: Aimee Hansen – Our “Heart” coach, interviewer, and lead writer – is a women’s retreat creator and facilitator. The Journey Into Sacred Expression writing and yoga women’s retreats on Lake Atitlan in Guatemala are recommended in Lonely Planet Wellness Escapes and have been praised by the nearly 200 women who have gathered with her. Circle with women underneath volcanoes to write, meditate, do yoga, move and participate in various sessions. She has two summer events in 2023: July 7-15 and Aug 25 – Sept 2. Each has 12 spaces only.

Nicki GilmourProductivity is state of mind.

Aided by peace of mind which none of us have right now in the midst of a pandemic.

As someone who invented and launched theglasshammer from my living room in Brooklyn, I can testify to needing utmost grit, tenacity, determination and focus to produce a large volume of work on a daily basis for thirteen years through good and bad times looking at a wall or a screen. In fact, the irony is, social distancing feels rather similar to my everyday professional life of walk the dog, write editorial, do coaching on zoom/facetime, cook lunch, walk the dog, write, coach, cook, childcare on repeat. I even lived in the woods for two years so social isolation is clearly what I have been training for, dear readers.

Here are my top 5 tips for keeping it all going during this time:

1. Set Boundaries- physical, mental and emotion for yourself

Physical boundaries are the easiest. Delineate areas in your house, even a corner of your apartment to work from. Do what you need to do to make it “nice” for you. Pictures, or a bare desk, you know who you are. Keep it clean by clorox wiping the bottom of your laptop and keys and screen once a day. Ditto phone.

Mental and emotional boundaries are harder. Confine work to work and don’t check email on the couch on your phone for example. Also, to emotionally protect yourself during work do not read news, instead listen to soothing classical music, jazz, a radio station that you like ( for me BBC Radio 2 cannot be beaten)  or an old “album” that brings you back to a good time. Create nostalgia if you need that on dark quarantine days as this is going to last for a while so stamina and strategy are crucial elements to keeping sane and therefore productive.

2. Get Exercise

Get up and walk outside (while keeping a distance of course) or peleton or bike yourself skinny. Whatever your jam is, and is still ok to do, do it. You can sit on an exercise ball and have a stand up adjustable desk, there are ways to create variety. Get your trainer to work with you virtually. You don’t have to go as far as Sarah Conner in Terminator 2 doing chin ups on the metal bed frame ( humor will get us though this).

3. Get hobbies.

Ever wanted to speak a language? I learned to cook when i lived in the woods, cook like Julia Child with WW2 dried goods. Challenge yourself to be resourceful. Grow veggies, knit, read books about foraging mushrooms even if you never do it.  It is amazing what you learn skill wise and more importantly what you learn about yourself.

Have kids? Explore new stuff with them in the down time. Coloring is extremely soothing and Frozen 2 will provide you with plenty to do there including googling “let it go” in many languages and belting it out “Libre Soy”.

If you are a busy person, chances are there are several TV shows you have wanted to catch up on. I just started Outlander, a celtic time traveling tale that lasts for 6 or 7 seasons, that will be a great mental distraction to invest in (also life in 1743 makes our current reality as dire as it is, still better). And novels, remember them? Have virtual book clubs with your friends. Virtual wine and cheese ( i have been invited to one already). Business books and professional development books are also good and here are my recommendations for the next few weeks:

Authentic Gravitas

Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader

Everyday Negotiations

You are a Badass

Immunity to Change

Buy extra coffee, tea, candy, chocolate, vodka, wine or whatever you need for the days that you need a cheap thrill.

4. Get reflective time

See this as opportunity to look inwards and reflect what is meaningful to you. Take a list of “should do’s” and figure out what is real and what is not. What is working for you? What is not? What do you want to do differently when we emerge from this? What has been the best of 2020 so far that you can expand on at work? Meditate – however and whatever method works and watch how you can regain the power of your mind.

5. Use technology to get the job done

There is actually a lot to be said for saving time not commuting. You might find you do more old fashioned calling and videoconferencing with someone because you do lack the human contact factor. Email is still email. It is by getting sucked into facebook and other productivity sucks like cat videos that you will wonder why the “to-do” list is still there.

Video call your friends near and far, call your parents and older friends as they have to stay in the most.

Good luck and if you need executive and frankly, life coaching on how to thrive professionally and personally during this unusual time, book in with me at nicki@theglasshammer.com – 3 video sessions x 90 mins long that you can use all year long for $899 or book a 15 mins chat to see if it for you here

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I am a professionally certified coach (PCC) with a masters in Social (I/O) Psychology, i am your person on this one.

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You will get through this! STAY SAFE.