Tag Archive for: advice

The Power of the Word No

Guest Contributed by Janelle Bruland

Isn’t it funny that one of the most important words to say is also one of the hardest? One simple word: no.

Yet, to say it brings up a flood of feelings – guilt, defensiveness, a fear of offending. Sometimes the feelings flash by so quickly we don’t even notice what they are. We just know that we don’t want to say that one little word. Yet, the ability to say “no,” to set boundaries and build a structure that works for us, is one of the most important tools we can add to our arsenals to successfully create our best lives.

The word “no” should be one of the most important words in a leader’s vocabulary. Here are two strategies to be more productive and have space in your life for the things that matter:

1. Recognize What is Holding You Hostage

2. Break the Chains by Learning How to Say No

What is Holding You Hostage?

There is no doubt about it. It is becoming increasingly difficult to separate ourselves from the onslaught of incoming communication and ceaseless activity that seems to come along hand in hand with success. Demands on our time stack up. People who need us invite us to their meetings, ask us to sit on this committee or that board, and ask our opinions. For a minute or two we feel good about being able to help. We continue to say yes, and add just one more thing to our calendar. But then, there comes an inevitable breaking point, when we find ourselves held hostage by our own schedule. Suddenly we find ourselves overworked, overcommitted and overwhelmed.

Today, the average knowledge worker is interrupted every 10-12 minutes by some form of communication. And, during those 10-12 minutes we tend to interrupt ourselves at least twice to check email, phones, etc. If we were already headed that way, technology has added jet fuel to the journey. This barrage can derail the best laid plans and even keep us from making them in the first place.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am a leader who has struggled with creating boundaries myself, another area where we can hold ourselves hostage. After all, who doesn’t love saying yes? Who doesn’t enjoy the look of gratitude, or relief on the face of the person who has asked the favor? Besides, saying yes can at times almost be a matter of pride. With the high bar we set for ourselves and our “I can do it all” attitude, it really makes you think you could do it all.

You Can Learn to Say No

High achievers are driven and want to accomplish things, and because of that, it is easy to get caught up in doing more and more. However, if we aren’t careful, we will miss out on the very things that matter most to us. Saying yes to everything is not the path to true success. In fact, if you aren’t careful, it could become your undoing.

This realization came for me unexpectedly. I was working in my office on a project when I received a call from a good friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time. We both had very full schedules with our work and family responsibilities. “When can you get together?” she asked me. “Just a moment. Let me pull up my calendar,” I responded. I looked at the next week – nothing available. Then the following week – nothing either. The seconds became minutes as I scrolled through my calendar, finding it so jam packed that between my schedule and hers we couldn’t find a time to get together for two months. Two months! After some juggling we finally nailed down a time, and laughed together about how ridiculously busy we both were.

Such a simple story, and a big realization. I had said yes to so many things, that I didn’t have time for something I really wanted to do. What a tragedy it would be to get so caught up in saying yes to everything that comes along, that without knowing it you take away precious time from your most important priorities. Yet this happens so easily that oftentimes we don’t even notice. Can you relate to this?

Let’s face it: there is only so much time in a day. We all have the same 24 hours– it is up to us to be intentional in how we use them. Part of this intentionality is learning how to say no. I have adopted the discipline in my own life to eliminate unnecessary tasks and narrow down my “to do” list to my top priorities. Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. Saying no doesn’t mean you are not capable and able to help. It simply means you can’t help right now and still do all the things you have already committed to.

To have the successful life you desire, you must be disciplined to say “no” more than you say “yes.” Prioritize. Figure out what really matters. Then build your life and schedule around those things and those things only.

What do you need to say “no” to?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Janelle Bruland is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, and high-performance coach who inspires others to live impactful and successful lives. She is Founder and CEO of Management Services Northwest, a company she started in her living room in 1995 and has grown into an industry leading company, named one of the Fastest Growing Private Companies by Inc. magazine. The CPO of Microsoft, Mike Simms, describes her as a true pioneer in her field. Janelle is also the Co-Founder of Legacy Leader, a leadership development company that teaches business professionals how to build a legacy, transform their leadership, and love their life. She is the author of The Success Lie: 5 Simple Truths to Overcome Overwhelm and Achieve Peace of Mind.

The opinions and views expressed by guest contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of theglasshammer.com

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How To Achieve Growth and Renewal at Work and Life

By Nicki Gilmour

It is the holiday season and end of year.

Many of us are sprinting towards the finish line, busy with deadlines and projects that need to be cleared off our desk this week so that we can take a break over the next few weeks.

Taking a break is very helpful. But, how do you really use your break to feel renewal and even perhaps growth? I believe that learning from the good and the bad and having a growth mindset gives us what we need to be better, more effective and have more of everything we want.

These past few years, I have become very interested in neuroscience and how our conscious and unconscious mind works for us and against us. This has been in service of helping my coaching clients break life-long paradigms implicitly formed via constructs over time from birth which just don’t work for them. How we see things matters since we evaluate our options through that developed over time lens. For example, people who operate with a lens of loss will have a tougher time seeing the opportunity or gains in a situation and rather see what they don’t have or didn’t get. Opposite to that example, are people who have an over tuned mental model around aspiration as they will goal set around aspirations without a grounding on the resources and factors that are needed to get there.

It is the ability to be able to create and use strategic insight by literally conduct ongoing self-appraisal accurately, that allows you to know what strengths can be deployed to achieve your goals; real ones that matter. Goals that enable growth and renewal one thought, feeling and action at a time.

Here are some TEDx talks to enjoy over the holidays as a change of scene and some “off-task” time can be very good for the brain!

Happy Holidays to theglasshammer readers and if you wish to have an exploratory coaching call (at no charge) to see if coaching can help you, then email nicki@evolvedpeople.com

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Can a Notepad and Pencil Save your Sanity?

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letter writing

Image via Shutterstock

Guest contributed by Sarah Dixon

You may have caught the headlines recently that being a mother is the equivalent of working two and a half jobs.

Mothers put in a whopping 98 hours of work in a week, between their actual jobs and time spent caring for children. Ms Average starts at 6:23am and carries on until 8:31pm. Although this information (gathered from a study by the US juice company, Welch’s) may grab headlines, it really only confirms to women what we already know; our plates are full.

Another survey, back in 2013, claimed that 85% of women feel over-burdened, and listed 26 jobs that women ‘have to’ do on top of their paid work. Participants revealed that they often had so much to remember that things inevitably got forgotten – 1 in 8 said they’d forgotten to pick their kids up from school!

Of course, what we need to do is to change society to make sure that women don’t take on the brunt of the caring duties (whether it’s for children or older family members) and that men truly co-parent and take on a bigger share of the parenting. But while we’re working towards a change in society, how can we save our sanity?

Go Analog

While there are any number of apps out there that claim to help you manage a busy schedule, many people are finding the key to managing the tasks in their lives by going analogue. The system that is helping people all over the world to get organized is called Bullet Journalling or BuJo for short. It was developed by Ryder Carroll, a digital product designer from New York but is now used by converts all over the world.

From the relatively simple beginnings of Carroll’s system, bullet journalling has gone on to become a catch-all term for a pen and paper system. The Bullet Journal Junkies group on Facebook has almost one hundred and fifty thousand members, who share their own take on the idea. The most commonly used features are: An index to help you find information, and a daily/weekly to-do list that is kept deliberately brief. Tasks that don’t get done are migrated to the next day/week so they don’t get forgotten. Double page ‘spreads’ of reference information or long-term goals/challenges are also common; for example weight-loss trackers.

Of course, this isn’t the only system. Pen and paper journaling has become an industry in recent years with some systems launching via Kickstarter campaigns and others using more traditional means. What do they have I common? They tend to either be in a hardback journal or a binder which means they can be carried around with you, without getting damaged. They also make it a pleasure to use; focusing on good paper, including inspirational quotes or the opportunity to personalise or colour them in.

Brain Dump

Part of the reason that being busy is stressful, is because our brains are working overtime to remember all the things we need to do. That’s why a brain-dump is so helpful when dealing with anxiety. Rather than mentally juggling a hundred different things, you can just ‘download’ them into your journal and relax, knowing that you won’t forget them.

A journal becomes a permanent brain dump. Once you get into using a system, you come to trust that you won’t forget things; everything you need to remember is there, even that appointment in six-months-time and which episode of the Gilmore Girls you need to watch next. That frees up brain-space because the only thing you need to hold onto is ‘remember to check your journal’.

Your journal can also become a useful source of reference information. The Bullet Journal Junkies facebook group is filled with stories of how someone got a job, or a promotion, because they were in a meeting and had the information they needed at hand, because they had their journal with them.

Getting Started

Although journalling addicts may spend a fortune on journals, pens and washi tape, to get started you only need the nearest notepad and a pencil. Use the system for a while, and if it works for you? Then you can invest in something that will last longer. You may become one of the people who finds their busy life is much more manageable using this system.
The important part of any journaling system is that you should want to use it. It’s no use persisting with a pre-printed journal that doesn’t have the features you need or drawing up your own every week if your time is better spent elsewhere. Experiment with different ideas and see what works best for you.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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How to Lean “In-Between” and Keep Your Career Moving

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Get to the top! Lean in! Break the glass ceiling!

These clarion calls from the power sisterhood sound exhausting, unrealistic—even undesirable—to women in the everyday sisterhood feeling pressured to turbo-charge their careers alongside caregiving for children, aging parents and the monumental effort to make it home in time for family dinner.

What if you’re a talented, ambitious woman who actually prefers to, or needs to, lean “in between”?

Today ambitious women are not only found in the corner office or charging the corporate ladder in leaps and bounds. Ambition has a new face at a time when women have respectable professional options beyond the tied-to-your-desk, 60+-hour-a-week corporate job.

If your goal is to pursue work with substance in a reasonable work structure, you have three ways to be on an employer’s payroll—without sacrificing professional stature:

1. Make peace with a current full-time job that has reasonable demands, don’t worry about advancing to levels that could swallow your personal life and find ways to “grow in place”.
2. Turn your current full-time+ job and long commute into a more flexible situation—reducing hours and/or working at least partially at home.
3. Find an enlightened employer who offers a more flexible culture and healthy paths to professional growth.

Keep Growing Without the Big Promotion

If a big promotion is in the offing and you’d rather pull the covers over your head than pop champagne, it’s OK to decline or postpone. It’s not the end of your career if you take a slower route to the next level or never make that jump at all. Evidence this is true is found in some of the most unlikely places.

Working Mother magazine publishes an annual list of the “50 Best Law Firms for Women,” including big, top-ranked firms women chose to exit in decades past. Now these firms tout reduced hours and remote work. Most ensure that lawyers who take advantage of family-friendly programs are not cut off from partnership or leadership positions. I’ve seen this sea change firsthand: an attorney I know works remotely in Vermont, travels to her New York office occasionally, and snagged the partner title at a prestigious firm on her own time.

When you don’t have the family bandwidth for a big promotion, these eight strategies can help you “grow in place”:

1. Define leadership beyond big titles. Recognize that leaders at any level head project teams and set work quality standards.
2. Broaden confining job descriptions. Suggest to your manager expertise you’re interested in attaining and particular projects that could expand your role.
3. Streamline current responsibilities. Make room for more skill development—zero in on better processes, ways to delegate, etc.
4. Collaborate more with team members and departments. Explore job shares—or multi-disciplinary project shares that could cultivate new skills.
5. Take the lead on training and mentoring. Help younger colleagues navigate work and life issues so that women, especially, take fewer career breaks.
6. Get greater industry exposure. Participate in industry associations, speak at conferences, write articles and more.
7. Sign on for legacy projects. Don’t get lost in routine tasks—raise your hand for initiatives that could go down in company history.
8. Help your company be a good global or community citizen. Research organizations that align with your company’s mission and be a volunteer or spokesperson.

To grow in place focus on breadth of responsibility and visibility so managers can evaluate you in broader leadership terms and acknowledge your own brand of ambition and success.

Kathryn Sollmann is a flexwork expert, speaker and career coach—and the author of Ambition Redefined: Why the Corner Office Doesn’t Work for Every Woman & What to Do Instead.

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Being LGBTA at Work – Out and Awesome

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

“People are strange when you’re a stranger” or so croons Jim Morrison from The Doors. Being different from the historical majority group still has its challenges, and being LGBT in a world of heteronormativity, no matter how cool people are, can make you feel “other” or outside the core group.

So, how do you navigate the challenges of coming out again and again ( that’s right people, it isn’t a one shot deal!). Here are 3 tips to being out and awesome.

1. Know yourself.

Like everyone else, your preference is just that, its not your actual personality, although both are intrinsic and therefore everyone else should understand that words like choice and lifestyle are not accurate. If you are shy naturally, only work within your comfort zone of who you tell and when. Trust in this area, like other areas is built over time. Equally if you are an extrovert and want to wave a flag, do it! Much of this also depends on where you are at with your own journey, don’t feel rushed one way or the other to express yourself.

2. Know your audience.

Fact; the world is divided into people who have thought about their own mental models and those who just take on whatever stuff their father/granny told them and are still living with values that Sophia from the Golden Girls would be proud of when she says “picture this, Sicily 1923”. Kegan and Lahey- Harvard developmental psychologists write about this subjective lens to life approach in “Immunity to Change” (this book changed my life if you all haven’t noticed how much I reference it). You don’t have to tell people who are just too cognitively/emotionally limited to understand anything outside their own direct experience, or you can choose to. Up to you.

3. Authenticity pays off.

Studies show that hiding can damage your career as it takes massive effort to change pronouns etc. Just be you, as there are so many people who will love you for you. On that note, Allies come out and vocalize your support for anyone who needs it.

Sponsor your LGBT network as an ally, get involved !

We just do not have to tolerate dinosaurs anymore. The revolution will be televised!

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5 Secrets to Ditching Limiting Beliefs and Living Your Dream

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Guest contributed by Diana Faison

dream

Image via Pexels

Do me a favor? Close your eyes and visualize achieving everything you want for yourself professionally. Two conditions are you cannot remain in your current position and no matter what you choose to do, you cannot fail. Allow your mind to imagine two or three possible paths—think big and aim high!

What are you doing? Why can’t you be doing it now? Many of us admire big thinkers and high achievers but we seldom see ourselves in that role. Why is that?

The answer is limiting beliefs—those thoughts that keep you from doing what you dream.

Limiting beliefs in women stem from multiple sources. One are outdated gender stereotypes that box us into traditional gender roles “Women are not supposed to be ambitious.” “Women should be nurturers, not leaders.” They also originate in the dark place within ourselves where self-doubt and denial reside. This is often referred to as the “impostor syndrome”

Many women want to stay comfortable in their current state rather than challenge themselves to achieve everything they are capable of. How can these women leaders be helped to recognize and replace these limiting beliefs with positive messages. The truth is we can ALL learn to funnel our energy in a positive direction. All of us can take steps RIGHT NOW to change our limiting beliefs.

Here’s how:

Dream bigger and aim higher. We often are mired in our perception of reality and focus on what we cannot do.  If you cannot see it, you will never become it.  Go tell someone your secret career dream, and remember play big, aim high.

Take a chance on you.Explore outside your comfort zone. Maybe that means accepting that stretch assignment opportunity or better yet go and ask for that stretch assignment!

Ask yourself: ‘What gives my life meaning and a sense of purpose?’Then, ask yourself: ‘What am I doing to address that purpose?’  If you struggle to answer either question, it’s time to go and find that life meaning and sense of purpose.

Create meaningful relationships. Research supports the idea that women are over mentored and under sponsored.  Create meaningful relationships by nurturing connections with men or women you admire and respect or with whom you want to work.  Reciprocate and offer your help.  Eventually, one or more of these people will become a sponsor for you and can open doors and opportunities.

Act with courage!Just say yes. Trust yourself to know that you’ll figure out  You are smart. You are capable. Take a leap of faith and take a chance on you.

By challenging ourselves to dream bigger and aim higher, we become better, stronger, female leaders. So, ditch those limiting beliefs and go get ’em!

Diana Faison is co-author of newly-released The Influence Effect: a new path to power for women leaders and partner at leadership firm, Flynn Heath Holt.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Moving Forward Positively After Losing Your Job

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 Guest contributed by Alice BergFrustrated blonde woman sitting at a computer

Losing your job can happen to any of us. If you got fired, don’t get desperate. Yes, it is worrying and somewhat frustrating but you should see it as an opportunity to look at your career journey so far. Losing your job could be an opportunity to move in a different direction or even obtain an even more prestigious role you wouldn’t have considered otherwise. What should you do when you get fired and how do you overcome professional hardship and get back on track as fast as possible?

Leave smartly

Getting fired is a bitter pill to swallow, however don’t think of burning bridges. Your main goal is to leave your current firm on a positive note. It is important to save good relationships with your boss, co-workers and even clients in order not to threaten your future career. However, if you think that prejudice occurred and you were unfairly fired from the job because of your sex or race, you can seek legal advice.

Take time for yourself

Your life after being fired still goes on. It is not the right time to get upset and focus on your failure. Take this time to let it go and to adjust to this life change. Take a few days to take stock and to consider what options are open to you that will fully satisfy your professional interests in the future.

Control your emotions

Don’t let getting fired depression take the best of you. Don’t get stressed and try to accept your loss. You can allow yourself to mourn for a couple of days but then you have to leave this traumatic experience in the past and move on. Don’t hold the grudge against your boss or yourself. Manage your emotions and try to think over some positive aspects of being fired. It can be your fresh start, in the first place.

Spend time with the people closest to you

You can use your free time wisely and do things that previously you have never had time to do. You could try something beneficial for your mind and body but most importantly, you can spend more time with your family. While working, you always feel busy and out of time, so often you don’t get the spend as much time with your family as you would like. Now you can! Devote each moment to the people that matter in your life. They will be a strong emotional support for you at this difficult conjuncture.

Make your financial situation clear

After getting fired from a job you should dispose of your money wisely. You never know how much time it will take for you to find a new job. Therefore, you have to assess your financial situation, look over your budget and cut all extra expenses. Your savings will come in handy.

Understand your strengths and weaknesses

Take this time to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Make a list of all your best skills, abilities and experience that set you apart from others. Similarly, list each characteristic and trait that may hinder your way to success. Besides, you can talk to your trustworthy former colleagues and ask them to point out your strong and weak sides. Listen actively and it will be easier for you to figure out what to do to become a better version of yourself.

Once you see an overall picture of what you are good at and what should be changed, you will trigger off your enthusiasm of moving forward and conquering new heights.

Make your dreams come true

Now you are that close to realizing that losing your job is a true blessing for you. Nothing can stop you from making all your dreams come true. First of all, you are open to each new opportunity. If you have ever thought of a career change, but were afraid to take the first step – do it right now! If you have been dreaming of a vacation with your family – go together on a trip!

No time for moaning. Be active!

In order to boost your confidence, you have to be proactive. Think about a career you would like to pursue and do at least 3 useful things that will bring you closer to your dream job. Also, it will not let you get depressed. Use your time effectively. The truth is, you have no time to moan.

Be open for new opportunities

Don’t be afraid of change. It can be overwhelming, but you also will see how exciting it can be! Remember that everything happens for a reason. Who knows, maybe you were fired from your job to have an opportunity to rediscover yourself. It is high time to try something new: visit some professional conferences or meetings, refresh your resume, prepare your social media accounts and LinkedIn profile for job search, get ready for an interview and move forward towards your dreams!

Now you know what to do after getting fired. By implementing these steps to moving on you will have quality time free of your job duties. Use this time wisely and never get desperate and discouraged. Believe in yourself and start your new way to success.

Alice Berg – a blogger from Bath, UK, and a consultant at SkillRoads, who received a degree in Social Work and Applied Social Studies. Now she helps people to find their own way in life, gives career advice and guidance, helps young people to prepare for their careers. You can find Alice on Twitter and Facebook.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Mental Health and the Office Why It Matters More Than Ever to Be Open About Your Struggles

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Guest contributed by Katie McBethSad businesswoman

Every year World Mental Health Day is commemorated. This day of recognition is meant to help raise awareness, help dismantle the stigma, and provide those who suffer with access to support if they need it.

The focus of last year was mental health in the office: how awareness, stigma, and our work-life balance can affect workforces around the world. In America, especially, working women are often struggling to balance their life in and out of the office, and are finding it even more difficult to not let the stresses of the outside world affect their work and productivity. Although there is an increased awareness around mental illness, there is still a strong stigma on discussing it at work.

What does this mean for working women who suffer from mental illness? How can we not only become more successful in our careers, but also be more accepted for our invisible conditions? How can office leaders make a difference for all their employees? These questions can be an especially tough to parse, but they are extremely important for opening up the dialogue around mental illness in the office.

Erasing Stigma Through Dialogue

Over a lifetime, it’s estimated that the average full-time American worker spends about 90,000 hours at work. It’s no wonder, then, why this year’s theme of Mental Health Awareness Day was focused on the office. Our jobs take up a large portion of our lives, and the environment around us, our work habits, and our outside life can all factor into our mental and physical well-being.

However, it’s rare to hear conversations about mental health while actually in the office. Much of this can be due to the vulnerability of opening up about mental health conditions, but it could also be due to the fact that patriarchal standards still reign supreme in business. The idea of exposing mental illness — as well as emotion or empathy — can be seen as a weakness.

Numerous studies have come to prove this to be false, and in fact honing your emotional intelligence can play a large part in improving a business and can really shine in management. Empathy and communication, in particular, have shown to reduce employee turnover, improve team morale, and increase productivity for individuals and teams.

When discussing mental health, one of the biggest hurdles in addressing it can be the stigmas that exist around these conditions: both social stigmas (those created by society) and self stigmas (those created internally by people who suffer from mental illness). However, some of those stigmas are beginning to change, and much of that is thanks to the people who are brave enough to speak up and be open about it, and to those that have the empathy and patience to listen and learn. Scientific research has also shown that people are more willing to seek out help — via therapy, counseling, or medication — when they can overcome these stigmas.

For those of us that suffer from mental illness, being open about our struggles and our conditions can be inherently powerful. However, it can be difficult to be open if we don’t have a support system in place. On the reverse, having a supportive, empathetic, and kind boss can be a major factor in helping those that suffer feel less stigmatized by their invisible condition. Empathy is also extremely powerful, especially in the office and especially among those in management and leadership positions.

Accepting Mental Health as Physical Health

There’s a reason mental illness is referred to as an “invisible condition.” Although common misconceptions often overlook the body-mind connection, there is plenty of evidence to show that mental illnesses can have a profound effect on the physical body.

However, the general population that doesn’t suffer from mental illness could still suffer from occasional bouts of depression or anxiety brought on by work, or even external circumstances or trauma —. Prolonged exposure to stress can have physical effects as well, which is why it is all the more important to consider allowing mental health days at work.

Sick days allow employees the opportunity to stay at home and recover from the flu or from injuries. Mental health days, on the other hand, allow employees the opportunity to stay at home, relax, rest, and recover. Even for employees that don’t suffer from mental illness, mental health days allow them a chance to step away from the stress of the office and hopefully find ways to practice de-stressing techniques. About 25 percent of Americans agree that work is a main stress-point for them, and stepping away can help them find tranquility, as well as make them better workers for when they do return to the office.

Organizational stress — can result in disengagement if it goes on too long or is unaddressed. Allowing employees the chance to step away from the stress of work can help them feel more appreciated. It can also help them refocus on tasks and be more engaged in the office.

Mental health days go beyond helping those who suffer from mental illness and can help everyone feel better about their work. Examples of this increased emphasis on mental wellness can be seen in European countries where work weeks are shorter, vacation times are longer, and employees are generally happier to be working for their company. If only America could pick up these same practices, maybe our workforce would be better for it.

Changing the Workplace for the Better

Especially in the workplace, Mental Health Awareness Day — where it is frowned upon to discuss these ailments —can help create a dialogue that could lead to lasting changes for everyone.

Being a professional working women who suffers from mental illness can be difficult. Facing the constant stigma of our conditions, as well as the threat of losing our jobs if we’re having a bad day, or even being the subject of ridicule or discrimination because we can’t “showcase” our condition, is a daily worry. There will always be someone to try to put you down for something you cannot control about yourself.

However, our office is no place to face this sort of targeted discrimination, and having a supportive and understanding boss can help prevent sufferers from being alienate at their place of employment. Additionally, raising awareness around the effects of mental illness and stress in the workplace can help carve the paths for healthier lifestyle choices and happier employees.

There are ways to make lasting change in the office and in our lives, but it starts with one simple step: having a conversation. If you suffer from mental illness and feel like your manager will be receptive to discussing your concerns, then maybe it’s time to have that talk. If you’re a manager and want to showcase your support for all your employees, be open about allowing mental health days in the office, and perhaps provide resources for those that need it.

Finally, if you suffer from serious mental illness and are afraid that it will interfere with your work, know that you are not suffering alone. Seek out help, find treatment, and know that although you may have this condition forever, it will not limit the great things you plan to do with your life. You do not have to suffer in silence, and you do not deserve to be stigmatized. Let’s work on making the world a little better for everyone.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Undervaluing Yourself? Here’s How to Make Sure You Get What You Deserve

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Guest contributed by Karen Schoenbarthappy man with women

Do you routinely undervalue your professional worth? Are you afraid to step up and take on new challenges or ask for a promotion or raise because you aren’t sure you’ve earned them? If so, you are definitely not alone.

“Imposter Syndrome” is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. It refers to high-achieving individuals who can’t internalize their accomplishments and persistently fear being exposed as a fraud. According to a recent study in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, up to 70 percent of people feel this way.

The funny thing about Imposter Syndrome is that sufferers are almost always able to meet the requirements of their job, so their fears are actually unwarranted. Nevertheless, overcoming these fears isn’t easy. Follow these steps to gain confidence that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Set goals for what you want to do and focus on achieving those things.
  • Do an honest evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses. While everyone focuses on fixing the weaknesses, also focus on building up and honing your strengths.
  • Find people who believe in you both personally and professionally and reach out to them for support.
  • When you receive a compliment, don’t negate it or deny it. Simply say, “thank you.”
  • Focus on helping others instead of yourself. As C.S. Lewis said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.”
  • Talk with people you respect to see if they share similar concerns. Work together to overcome them. Remember, even brilliant and famous people occasionally admit to feeling like frauds. Try to laugh about it.

Nothing Cures Imposter Syndrome Like Hard Proof

An especially critical strategy for overcoming Imposter Syndrome is to track your accomplishments and communicate them to the people who matter. It is not attractive to brag, of course, but sharing your positive results with your boss and other senior executives will encourage them to support and reward you. When this happens, you will naturally feel like less of an imposter.

It helps to be as proactive as possible, so start a file today. If you get an email from a colleague or a client thanking you or complimenting something you’ve done, add it to the file. If you’ve been given specific goals or objectives, keep them handy and work the list—ensuring you are addressing everything on it. If you need help to accomplish a specific goal, ask. For example, if your boss said you need to hone your presentation skills but you haven’t had a chance to present anything, ask if there is an assignment that will afford you the opportunity. It’s fine to reference your objective and the desire to accomplish it.

A few notes of caution. Your file of accomplishments should be long and comprehensive, but beware of overkill when talking to your manager about them – even if you feel Imposter Syndrome getting the best of you. Choose examples from the file that demonstrate your mastery of a specific task or skill. These examples can also be used when meeting with other senior people in your company or a new manager who can benefit from learning what you have been working on.

Careful tracking and strategic communication will ensure that you have an excellent business case to ask for a promotion or raise, and will hopefully assuage your fears. But what if the worst happens? What if you swallow your apprehension, ask, and are denied anyway? How can you keep from undervaluing yourself then? First, make sure you understand the reasons for the decision. Are there softer skills you are missing, such as communicating tactfully or being assertive in meetings? Ask for specific examples of what you need that you are not currently demonstrating. If nothing is missing, inquire about what is holding you back. A lack of positions at the next level is sometimes a legitimate issue, so you may need to be patient.

Don’t Undervalue Your Offerings Either

A corollary to Imposter Syndrome is underestimating the value of your products or services. Here, you should remember that when you provide something that meets a need of your client or customer, you cannot be afraid to be compensated for it. Have pride in your offering, and know exactly how your client or customer’s life or business will improve as a result of having it. Be willing to walk away, but keep in mind that there are times you might want to be more flexible. For example, you might decrease your price in order to protect an important, long-term relationship. A negotiation that ends in a win/win will reduce your self-doubt and keep you from falling victim to Imposter Syndrome in the future.

Adapted with permission of the publisher, Motivational Press, Inc., from MOM.B.A. Essential Business Advice from One Generation to the Next 
by Karyn Schoenbart with Alexandra Levit.  Copyright (c) 2017 by Karyn Schoenbart. All rights reserved. https://www.amazon.com/Mom-B-Essential-Business-Advice-Generation/dp/1628654597

About the author

KARYN SCHOENBART, author of MOM.B.A. is CEO of The NPD Group, a global provider of information and advisory services to many of the world’s leading brands. She has over 30 years of experience in the market research field, with expertise in identifying and developing new business opportunities and client partnerships.

Schoenbart was named one of the Top 25 Most Influential Women of the Mid-Market by the CEO Connection. She is also the recipient of the Long Island Brava Award, which recognizes high-impact female business leaders, and the Legacy Award from Women in Consumer Technology. Schoenbart is passionate about coaching others to greater levels of achievement. She is a resident of Long Island, NY. To learn more, visit: KarynSchoenbart.com.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Increasing Accountability in Yourself and Others

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Guest contributed by Linda O’Neill, VP of Strategic Services at Vigilant

accountability

Image via Shutterstock

Almost every executive I talk with desires a more accountable organization. Many of them are running highly effective and profitable companies and it is their goal to keep the bar moving up and to the right.  There is room for improvement. In an accountable organization each employee understands his/her role and each employee can be counted on to do his/her job with no surprises. When a company’s culture embraces accountability, employees are self-motivated to contribute to the success of the organization.  It’s important to remember that accountability is voluntary – you can’t make employees (or anyone else) more accountable. There are, however, steps you can take to increase the likelihood your employees will choose to be accountable.

  1. Define it. It is important that everyone in your organization define accountability in the same way. Spend some time on this as a leadership team. Webster’s dictionary uses words like “answerable” and “explainable” to define accountability. To me, the most important element of accountability is the obligation to answer for our actions. It’s not just completing the actions.  It’s being responsible for the consequences of our actions in addition to completing them. It involves taking ownership of your job. There is no room for blaming others. What’s more important than the way I define accountability, however, is the way you define it for your organization. There is no right or wrong answer.
  2. Communicate it. Communicate the company’s expectations around accountability – broadly, consistently and frequently. You will be the most successful when you communicate accountability in context with the company’s mission, values and goals. When each employee understands that the way his/her job is done affects the company’s performance, you will experience greater individual and collective accountability. Put more control in the hands of employees for how they meet the expectations of their job/role. Employees who feel responsibility will also more willingly embrace accountability.
  3. Reward it. Just as you spent time defining accountability, spend equal time understanding how you will measure and then reward it. As the company makes progress toward its goals, share the information broadly. “The Carrot Principle” by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton is a great book to gather ideas about rewards. The authors stress that rewards must be deliberate. Create a system for yourself. You won’t just “remember” to reward employees. Tie the rewards to company goals and the employees’ role in meeting those goals. Communicate how the employees’ accountability (obligation to answer for actions) affected the goals.

Wanting more clarity around measuring accountability

It is important for every employee at every level in the organization to have a document articulating his/her accountabilities (similar to a S.M.A.R.T. goal document). I like calling this document simply “<Name> <Year> Accountabilities” (i.e., mine would be “Linda O’Neill’s 2017 Accountabilities”). Identify the categories important to your business, such as financial performance, customer service, team leadership and executive maturity. Clearly articulate the accountabilities in each area. Once you have a complete list of an employee’s accountabilities, define how you will measure success. For example, an employee may be accountable for bringing in $15 million in service billings for the fiscal year. The employee would record the results achieved at the end of the period.

Wanting greater accountability to self

Accountability comes from the inside out; it is a choice. Let me say that again: Accountability comes from the inside out; it is a choice. As a result, it makes sense that learning greater accountability to self enhances accountability on the job. Positive change begins with individuals changing themselves. You can translate the same strategies listed in the “wanting more accountability from others” to yourself. First, define what accountability means to you. Do you take an “owners” mentality to the commitments you make to yourself as well as the commitments you make to others? Next, spend some time noticing how your actions compare to your definition of accountability. You might want to write down every commitment you make to yourself or someone else for a week and then notice what supported or what got in the way of your accountability. What conclusions can you draw about you learned? What small change will you make to increase your satisfaction with your accountability to self? How will this enhance the way you model accountability for others?

Conclusion

Accountability means being doing what you said you would do, and being answerable for all of your actions –those that influence others and those that affect only you. When there is little accountability in an organization, stress levels tend to rise, communication is reduced, and territorialism is pervasive. When accountability is strong, employees are engaged, performance is high and company goals are met. What choice will you make to improve accountability both within your organization and within yourself today?

Disclaimer: Opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of the glasshammer.com

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