by Aimee Hansen
What desire or longing do you have?
Is there something you want to be, or do, or feel or have?
Is there something within that seeks to be expressed or experienced, or that calls for a change?
Okay, but what are you committing to?
You may know what you want, but are you affirming your desire and moving towards it?
Often, we habitually commit to undermining our desires.
Until we bring this harsh truth into awareness, we might be working against ourselves. If you have a desire that you are not nurturing, asking yourself this question:
Instead of your desire, what are you actually committing to?
Ask in a day-in, day-out kind of way. Ask when it comes to your habits, actions, thoughts and beliefs.
Often, we are not aware or radically self-honest about what we are actually committing to instead of our true desires.
We think of committing to something as being intentional and deliberate investment towards a goal or agreement. But intention is not necessary. In practice, repetitive habit alone creates commitment.
On a daily basis, we might “commit” to bottling up anger, people-pleasing, holding back our “no”, scrolling on our phone, over-working and perpetuating 24/7 availability.
Notice how the language “commit” usually refers to a mistake or a crime, whereas commitment refers to a focused dedication.
Take this example of how habit becomes commitment: activate screen time monitoring on your smartphone. How many hours a week are you committing to social media?
Without even realizing it, we do “commit” away from our desires much of the time. If you are dissatisfied in a persistent situation, you can step back and ask yourself what you have been committing to.
This question will often reveal some accountability at play, even if it’s as simple as continued acquiescence to and participation in a situation or circumstance you are not aligned with.
We often commit to a repetition of thoughts and actions that are tethered to our conditioning or our comfort zone or our fear.
What is happening now?
Check in by asking what is actually happening now. Often, you are more committed to what is happening than what you say you desire.
Here are three examples:
Desire: to write a book
Reality: not writing it
Committing to: working overtime, spending time with your kids, scrolling on Facebook, Netflix before bed, going to the gym, reiterating beliefs about not being qualified, etc
Desire: to be promoted
Reality: stagnant in your position
Committing to: doing office housework, focusing only on skills that you feel comfortable and competent in, being productive rather than demonstrating leadership and delegation, waiting for recognition rather than active self-promoting, etc
Desire: a loving, supportive relationship
Reality: a confusing, uncommitted relationship
Committing to: chasing unavailable people, subjugating your own needs, sticking with what doesn’t work, rationalizing someone else’s behavior, fantasizing what could be rather than seeing reality, etc
As you can see, what you are committed to is not always a negative thing. However, sometimes it is self-sabotaging or shows a lack of faith that you could have what you want.
What can you do?
Seeing what you are currently committing helps to reveal how you actually feel and what the braver action might be.
Perhaps it’s not the time to write that book based on what you value right now, so you can stop beating yourself over the head with “should”.
Perhaps you have not realized that you are hiding in your comfort zone,and you realize it’s time to start playing at the level you wish to reach.
Perhaps commitment to what you want you requires walking away from what is not good enough, with faith what you want will come.
In each case, it’s enlightening to see what you are actually committing to and whether that aligns with your true desires for yourself.
What are you believing?
Also, consider whether your mind and heart are in coherence with your desire. There’s a reason why we commit to what we’re actually doing now, even if unconscious.
Our current behavior may match our sense of self-worth, or self-love or our conditioning around what is possible for us or what is normal. It may be rewarding at the egoic fear-based level.
We often want something and also hold limiting beliefs about why it is not desirable or possible, for us. We might hold beliefs that would make the realization itself hollow.
You want to write a book. But your idea about who a published author is doesn’t match your own sense of yourself.
You want a promotion. But you are also terrified the new role would just mean more anxiety.
You want a supportive, loving relationship. But you fear that relationship means compromise and you are too much for anyone.
Despite knowing what we want, some parts of our internal selves might run contradictory to realizing it, or even letting ourselves fully want it.
As Anne Lamott writes, “If you’re not enough before the gold medal, you won’t be enough with it.”
By asking yourself what you long for, observing what you are actually committed to (instead), and investigating the beliefs underpinning what you are habitually doing, you can gift yourself a wake up call.
And then, you can choose to re-orient your energies towards alignment with what you really want.
Lale Topcuoglu, Senior Fund Manager & Head of Credit, J O Hambro Capital Management
Voices of ExperienceBut as she has built her career, she has realized that sometimes you find validation in the unlikeliest of places.
Making Her Voice Heard
Topcuoglu joined Goldman Sachs directly after college and stayed for 17 years, at which point she decided to take a few years off and “became COO of my household,” as she describes it. When she was ready to go back to work, she said it was a serendipitous event that brought her to her current firm, which she joined in September 2017. Right now she is focused on building a business from the ground up, which is challenging in such a competitive field, but rewarding for the sense of achievement.
One of the most positive aspects of her work has come from a partnership she has with Bloomberg, as part of its “New Voices” program. She was invited to audition to help bolster the number of women represented in Bloomberg News, a lack caused by many women’s inadequate media training or belief that they weren’t adequately prepared to participate in news media. Bloomberg encouraged her, offering enhanced media training, and she applied and was accepted November 2018. The credibility she has earned though her media exposure has been life-changing, she says.
“This exposure, on TV, radio and print meant that suddenly I was validated for who I am,” Topcuoglu says, noting that she wears her pride pin on live Bloomberg TV as “a silent but powerful statement of who I am.” She also mentions the role that her current firm has taken in this success. “Its entrepreneurial spirit was the driving force in ‘getting me out there,’ rather than having the decision on whether or not to participate in media events become wrapped up in politics as often happens in larger firms.”
She is proud of her tenure at Goldman and becoming a managing director in just 10 years, which was another important validation milestone for her. However, she reiterates that one of her most cherished professional achievements to date has been Bloomberg’s decision to make her one of the market voices, which has also led to commercial opportunities for her current firm.
“The power of media has been immense, as I’ve come to realize the visibility you gain being on TV: You’re more recognized, and people want to listen to you more. The credibility it has offered has been fascinating and rewarding, personally and professionally. I would now like to use that privilege to pay it forward.”
Bringing Others Along
A self-described “Steady Eddie,” Topcuoglu says she wishes someone had told her earlier in her career it was OK to change jobs to get more nuanced opportunities. In addition she wishes she had known the importance of networking earlier on. “When you join a top-tier firm, it’s easy to assume you’ve made it and you’re done looking for a job, and it can be easy to lessen your focus on networking,” she says. “But then life happens, and you might end up in a situation where you realize you want to switch jobs or end up losing your job and up not working for another reason, and it’s not like a flip of a switch to suddenly start networking. It makes you look inauthentic if you just reach out suddenly,” she notes.
Topcuoglu advises younger women to focus on setting goals and continuing to learn. And she says it’s vital to be aware of your sponsors and mentors and assess potential candidates if you don’t believe you are being sufficiently supported. She had excellent mentors during her time at Goldman, she says, noting that none were men, which she found interesting given that they usually hold the most senior roles.
Now she is eager to pass on what she knows as a mentor to others. “If I can be instrumental in getting one extra person on the show or otherwise help them along, that’s critical to me. Each senior leader who pulls along one female can make a significant difference.”
As co-head of the LGBQT+ employee resource group for EMEA during her tenure at Goldman, Topcuoglu focused on mentoring and helping bring attention to their historical underrepresentation. At her current firm, J O Hambro, she is part of the newly established Diversity Council. “When you are presented with statistics, it looks a lot more real,” she says. “We always wanted to determine how to attract more of the community to financial services, and the only way to do so is to have more role models across all lines of the firm. I am very excited to be part of the Diversity Council to tackle some of the challenges and help pushing initiatives forward.”
She says that being aware of the issues related to diversity can be important for anyone’s career. “We are frequently on the road, meeting institutional and retail clients. It’s important to be able to connect to your client base that is as colorful as the rainbow.”
As the mom to two kids, ages 4 and 11, Topcuoglu stays busy just managing day-to-day life and a full career. “Family is a full-time no-pay job, which I certainly learned when I took time off between jobs.”
by Cathie Ericson
The Value of Being Out as a Leader
Career AdviceWith Monday’s ruling, this moment could offer a new permission slip for coming out at work for many.
In a victory landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled that existing U.S. Federal Law (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964) protects LGTBQ workers from discrimination.
The statutory interpretation declared that the current prohibition of “sex” discrimination is inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity.
Yet, for nearly half of us in the USA, being in the closet at work is a painful reality.
According to 2018 research by the HRC, 46% of LGBTQ+ workers in the U.S. remain closeted at work, only 4% less than the 50% figure ten years earlier.
Major factors for staying in the closet are fear of being stereotyped, fear of making others uncomfortable, fear of losing connections and fear of having attraction to others projected onto them just for being LGBTQ+.
Over 60% of all employees agree that spouses, relationship or dating conversations come up casually at least once a week, which can mean a lot of emotional energy on covering up. Yet, 50% of LGBTQ+ say that they know no openly out employees at their workplace. 28% admit that they lie during these conversations.
Fear of being unaccepted contributes to social avoidance at work (25%), feelings of unhappiness or depression (31%), distraction (25%) and emotional exhaustion (17%), among other negative impacts.
Not only does coming out require a sense of receptivity and support in the workplace, but also bravery, vulnerability and discernment.
It is only an individual choice, but it’s one that has positively surprised some major leaders who took the step.
Top executives speak to coming out of the closet
Top executives who are out offer personal insight on their coming out journey in Bloomberg, many reflecting retrospectively that the cost of not bringing their whole selves to work was too much… and they paid it for too long, perhaps unnecessarily.
Across stories, they express that while everyone’s experience is different, they wish they had known how much acceptance would show up for them once they decided to show up for themselves as LGBTQ+, unapologetically.
“I wish I had known earlier how well I would be accepted by my colleagues at Dow. I would have come out earlier, and my decision would have been far easier. I feared a lot of negativity that never came to fruition,” says Jim Fitterling, CEO of Dow, Inc, who came out only when already senior in the organization. “I would never tell anyone to come out when they don’t feel comfortable, but I know from experience there is a toll you pay when you try to hide part of yourself, and that the perceived pain of coming out is often worse than the reality.”
“I would say be yourself; bring your whole self to work. Please don’t go back into the closet—because you will be the one who fundamentally suffers for it,” says Inga Beale, ex-CEO of Lloyds of London. “And if you’re out at work, you and your business will benefit…I definitely, definitely regret not coming out earlier.”
Owning your LGBTQ+ belonging as an asset to the workplace
“I personally feel an enormous sense of responsibility to take that empathy and the fight I got from growing up different from the majority of the population in the world and draw on that to make sure that every space I’m in,” says Kim Culmone, Senior vice president, Mattel Inc in Bloomberg. “ I’m bringing the voice of perhaps the marginalized or forgotten community into that room of influence and power.”
Dr. Steve Yacovelli, author of Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the King or Queen of their Jungle, identifies six traits that out LGBTQ+ leaders can leverage to magnify effectiveness as leaders, not only amidst your reports but overall in your greater leadership influence.
These include: being authentic, leading with courage, having empathy, effective communication, building relationships and influencing organizational culture – all of which are competencies that LGBTQ+ leaders more often have in spades.
“You see the concept of authenticity in generic leadership everywhere,” says Dr. Yacovelli, in OutFront Magazine, “and if I look at folks in our community living authentically as themselves, we’re already exercising that muscle just naturally by being who we are.”
Yacovelli notes,“…I’m seeing more folks saying leadership isn’t just your direct report or organizational structure, it’s about who you influence.”
LGBTQ+ leadership is good for business
The benefit to business of having LGBTQ+ in leadership is no secret.
Research across data for 132 countries has demonstrated that more human rights protection for LGBTQ+ people is good for economic development. Despite this, 70 UN member states still criminalize being gay, let alone being transgender or gender non-binary.
Coming out is foremost a personal decision, and one to be made by each of us.
But it’s also a true leadership choice that has the potential to expand beyond your personal experience to create a ripple rainbow effect within any organization and all who you interact with.
OP-ED: Be an LGBTQ Ally to Help Your Daughter or Son Come Out
PeopleHave you ever worried about a child?
Wondering what’s on their mind and whether they are doing OK? And how things are going with school and socially for them? Any parent, as well as grandparents, aunts, and uncles, would most likely answer “yes,” especially as a child becomes a young adult.
My husband and I certainly don’t have this whole parenting thing figured out. What we have stressed with our 10-year-old son and almost-15-year-old daughter is the importance of two-way communication. And we’ve been intentional in saying repeatedly, “We love you. There’s nothing you can tell us that will ever change that.”
Giving Our Daughter a Safe Outlet for Her Feelings
During our daughter Grace’s eighth-grade year, we started to pick up on small things that made us wonder if she was gay. We knew it wasn’t our place to ask; we needed to wait until she was ready and comfortable to tell us that she was LGBTQ, and to see if that was even the case.
We had just decided to connect her with a therapist so she would have a confidential outlet to share her feelings and thoughts with a neutral third party. This point of connection was about navigating life as a teen, entering high school, and dealing with new social situations. As I remember from my own teen years, it’s a tough transition!
Grace’s Coming-Out Story
I’ll never forget the day. I was at work when I received a text message from my daughter asking if she could talk to us later. We hit a “parenting stroke of luck.” This was a moment of parent PRIDE here as this was a signal we were doing something right!
That evening, we pulled up with her privately in her room and asked what she wanted to talk about. She struggled to say anything and kept trying to get her words out, but they wouldn’t come. We could tell this wasn’t easy for her, but we continued to encourage her to share. She finally asked if she could write it down.
She proceeded to write on a scrap of paper: “I AM GAY.” Instantly, we could see her relief in sharing this news. We immediately got up and hugged her long and hard. We talked about how much we loved her and how thrilled we were that she decided to tell us, and we asked if she needed us to do anything to support her.
Right away, she shared her one request. She asked if our entire family could march in the 2019 San Francisco Pride Parade. Already involved in PFLAG (an organization for family, friends, and allies of LGBTQ people), I made a call to get our family added to the parade roster.
Celebrating Pride as a Family
Our family of four, plus our daughter’s best friend, met up with PFLAG in San Francisco for the big day. Grace wore a Pride flag proudly as a cape, and the rest of us adorned ourselves with Pride gear ranging from flags to beads to hats.
When we arrived, we were greeted by amazing floats, crowds galore, and a very positive vibe. It was inspiring to be surrounded by the strength and beauty of so many.
As the parade started, our daughter, unplanned, decided to carry the PFLAG banner in the front of our group, along with a few other girls around the same age. Our son donned a massive head-to-toe sign across the front of his body that read: “I am a brother.” Moving forward, the emotion overtook me as the crowds cheered and clapped, leaving me teary-eyed and so appreciative of the LGBTQ community’s acceptance of its newest member.
I left that day incredibly full of PRIDE. I was grateful that my daughter trusted us to share her true self and that, as a family, we were able to experience this amazing moment together. I thank all those who came before her for your hard work. The next generation is loud and proud and will continue to carry that work forward, alongside with their families and friends.
Sharing my own experience
Believe it or not, I attribute much of our parenting success to my job. At Wells Fargo, I am grateful to be a part of the Family Dynamics team. We focus on helping families flourish beyond their finances — we help them build communication and trust, prepare future generations, and create shared family purpose.
In my role, I often engage with families having communication challenges. I’m not sure these families realize it, but when I help them, they help me. I strongly believe that we all learn from one another and that everyone has important perspectives to share. I’m proud to be able to give back by sharing my own personal experiences.
To My Daughter and to the LGBTQ Community:
I am a mother. I am a friend. I am your ally. I will always be there for you. You are loved.
You Know What You Want, But What Are You Committing To?
Career AdviceWhat desire or longing do you have?
Is there something you want to be, or do, or feel or have?
Is there something within that seeks to be expressed or experienced, or that calls for a change?
Okay, but what are you committing to?
You may know what you want, but are you affirming your desire and moving towards it?
Often, we habitually commit to undermining our desires.
Until we bring this harsh truth into awareness, we might be working against ourselves. If you have a desire that you are not nurturing, asking yourself this question:
Instead of your desire, what are you actually committing to?
Ask in a day-in, day-out kind of way. Ask when it comes to your habits, actions, thoughts and beliefs.
Often, we are not aware or radically self-honest about what we are actually committing to instead of our true desires.
We think of committing to something as being intentional and deliberate investment towards a goal or agreement. But intention is not necessary. In practice, repetitive habit alone creates commitment.
On a daily basis, we might “commit” to bottling up anger, people-pleasing, holding back our “no”, scrolling on our phone, over-working and perpetuating 24/7 availability.
Notice how the language “commit” usually refers to a mistake or a crime, whereas commitment refers to a focused dedication.
Take this example of how habit becomes commitment: activate screen time monitoring on your smartphone. How many hours a week are you committing to social media?
Without even realizing it, we do “commit” away from our desires much of the time. If you are dissatisfied in a persistent situation, you can step back and ask yourself what you have been committing to.
This question will often reveal some accountability at play, even if it’s as simple as continued acquiescence to and participation in a situation or circumstance you are not aligned with.
We often commit to a repetition of thoughts and actions that are tethered to our conditioning or our comfort zone or our fear.
What is happening now?
Check in by asking what is actually happening now. Often, you are more committed to what is happening than what you say you desire.
Here are three examples:
Desire: to write a book
Reality: not writing it
Committing to: working overtime, spending time with your kids, scrolling on Facebook, Netflix before bed, going to the gym, reiterating beliefs about not being qualified, etc
Desire: to be promoted
Reality: stagnant in your position
Committing to: doing office housework, focusing only on skills that you feel comfortable and competent in, being productive rather than demonstrating leadership and delegation, waiting for recognition rather than active self-promoting, etc
Desire: a loving, supportive relationship
Reality: a confusing, uncommitted relationship
Committing to: chasing unavailable people, subjugating your own needs, sticking with what doesn’t work, rationalizing someone else’s behavior, fantasizing what could be rather than seeing reality, etc
As you can see, what you are committed to is not always a negative thing. However, sometimes it is self-sabotaging or shows a lack of faith that you could have what you want.
What can you do?
Seeing what you are currently committing helps to reveal how you actually feel and what the braver action might be.
Perhaps it’s not the time to write that book based on what you value right now, so you can stop beating yourself over the head with “should”.
Perhaps you have not realized that you are hiding in your comfort zone,and you realize it’s time to start playing at the level you wish to reach.
Perhaps commitment to what you want you requires walking away from what is not good enough, with faith what you want will come.
In each case, it’s enlightening to see what you are actually committing to and whether that aligns with your true desires for yourself.
What are you believing?
Also, consider whether your mind and heart are in coherence with your desire. There’s a reason why we commit to what we’re actually doing now, even if unconscious.
Our current behavior may match our sense of self-worth, or self-love or our conditioning around what is possible for us or what is normal. It may be rewarding at the egoic fear-based level.
We often want something and also hold limiting beliefs about why it is not desirable or possible, for us. We might hold beliefs that would make the realization itself hollow.
You want to write a book. But your idea about who a published author is doesn’t match your own sense of yourself.
You want a promotion. But you are also terrified the new role would just mean more anxiety.
You want a supportive, loving relationship. But you fear that relationship means compromise and you are too much for anyone.
Despite knowing what we want, some parts of our internal selves might run contradictory to realizing it, or even letting ourselves fully want it.
As Anne Lamott writes, “If you’re not enough before the gold medal, you won’t be enough with it.”
By asking yourself what you long for, observing what you are actually committed to (instead), and investigating the beliefs underpinning what you are habitually doing, you can gift yourself a wake up call.
And then, you can choose to re-orient your energies towards alignment with what you really want.
Mover & Shaker: Devlyn Lorenzen, Business Support Associate, Wells Fargo
Movers and Shakers, PeopleShe suggests asking people what is said about you when you’re not in the room, and if the response is not how you would like to be seen, work towards changing the perception.
It was a realization she came to when she was attending a diverse leaders training program and was expressing some frustration to a senior member. The other professional asked, “How do you show up?”
“The question made me pause because I realized she was asking me to figure out the type of demeanor I had that people were reacting to,” she said “I realized I had created my own box because of my title and that was a wake-up moment for me.The title behind your name doesn’t limit what you are capable of. You control your own narrative; don’t let other people determine what you can do.”
Lorenzen calls that moment a turning point in her career, where she developed a renewed confidence and determination.
Seizing Opportunities By Raising Her Hand
The strategy of taking advantage of the opportunities that come her way has defined Lorenzen’s career. She began working as a receptionist at a bank and soon accepted another position as an administrative assistant. When that bank merged with another, she earned a position as an assistant for the national sales manager in Charlotte, NC, and was also able to assume a managerial role, supervising other administrative assistants.
When the bank eventually merged with Wells Fargo, she continued to move up and around in the company, helping to form cross-functional and cross-departmental partnerships and helping assistants find opportunities to work on projects with high visibility. She is currently involved in a marketing workstream to build a resource internet site allowing financial advisors to quickly link to other partners.
Finding Ways to Share The Importance of Diversity
Along the way, she has been highly involved with diversity and inclusion efforts. In fact, one of the professional achievements she is most proud of so far is receiving the Diversity Champion Award for her work with Wells Fargo Advisors in 2018. While the honor itself was important, she was even more excited at the chance to bring her 17-year-old daughter as her guest to the celebration. “I wanted her to see the results of my hard work and provide her the chance to see all of the women on stage being recognized. It’s so important for young women to see those opportunities in action,” Lorenzen says.
As part of her commitment to diversity and inclusion, she led a workstream for a website overhaul, to develop a site where team members can learn what’s going on and what training opportunities are available, as well as highlighting stories and messages from leaders. “We want to raise awareness and provide the resources people need, which is exciting as it is constantly evolving,” she says, adding that she’s enjoying the collaboration part of it most of all.
While Lorenzen appreciates the progress that has been made, she feels there are more opportunities for diverse leaders. “Where is my career headed if I’m not seeing people like me in leadership roles?” she wondered.
The key for her was to look at areas of the bank where she could see other women who were achieving, and put effort into seeking those women out for career advice.
That’s why she believes it’s important for new professionals to find a mentor, and if it’s a woman, even better. Surround yourself with people who will cheer you on and challenge you at the same time.
She currently has several role models—the main one is her sister who has a career in higher education and is working on earning a Ph.D. “She’s constantly forging ahead; I’ve watched her navigate her challenges by bringing her own seat to the proverbial table as well as bringing an extra one for another person. No one will automatically make space for you so that’s another reason it’s vital to have someone who can advocate and sponsor you.”
Another mentor is one of the private wealth regional presidents, who invited her to a Wealth and Investment Management Mid-Atlantic Women’s Summit and offered Lorenzen time on the stage to give a short update on her work with the Diversity Council.
Despite her nervousness, Lorenzen realized the value in accepting a stretch assignment. “You will gain confidence by overcoming your fears so I recommend finding a mentor that will push you and help you grow.”
Finding Balance Outside of Work
As an Army “brat,” Lorenzen lived all over the world, which inspired in her a love of travel. She particularly enjoys traveling with her sister and niece, as well as her daughter, who has participated in a German language immersion program since kindergarten as a way to achieve a broader worldview. Her daughter traveled to Germany for an exchange program and also spent time in the Dominican Republic for a service project. “I want her to understand that people’s lives aren’t all the same and to look outside her immediate circumstances.”
Family time is what’s most important to her: hanging out with her husband and daughter, sister and niece. In addition to watching foreign films and crime shows with her husband, she also loves to indulge her creative side by crocheting, learning to knit and solving puzzles.
“I view the current work-from-home orders as a gift to be still and slow down a bit.”
By Cathie Ericson
You’re Not Forgotten – How to Stay Relevant When Working from a Distance
Career AdviceChange is a natural part of living and business.
However, with the sudden and widespread changes catalyzed by the current global pandemic, and people required to work in isolation, it is impossible to continue business as usual without risk of quickly becoming redundant.
To stay relevant and thrive requires approach, starting with the willingness to step up to a new level of leadership – one that isn’t based on your or job title, but on your personal choice and demand to have a greater future, no matter what.
Sudden change of this degree is not necessarily comfortable, but it doesn’t have to be difficult or unpleasant. It can be a time of great growth and innovation.
Here are 4 key steps to lead from the front in unpredictable times, and from wherever you are currently working:
1. Be Present with What is Required Now
Fear in times of uncertainty can have a domino effect. With so many countries being impacted right now, perpetuating panic and doubt is counterproductive and even destructive. What was relevant in business yesterday no longer applies, so it is important to stay present and put your and your colleagues’ attention on what is possible now.
Ask questions to stay generative:
• What does my job and organization require of me, my colleagues and staff today?
• What are our clients looking for now?
• How do I position my skills, staff, projects and the organization so that we are relevant now and in the future?
Don’t assume that business will eventually “go back to normal” or function as before. It may, and it may not. Ask different questions, seek different perspectives, engage with new innovations and ideas. There are always more possibilities available than you think.
2. Engage, Engage, & Keep on Engaging
The world of telecommuting can put a wall between you and others, but it doesn’t have to. Multiple-participant videoconferencing platforms are available for connecting with ease, and the “old fashioned” way of picking up the telephone is more relevant than ever now! Look outside the box. Who can you engage with and what questions can you ask that will create more for you, your teams, projects, and wider business?
Also, recognize that messaging and email are ways of delivering information, they are not communication. Don’t misidentify or mistake them as a substitute for actual interaction.
Taken for granted patterns of relating to people and business at the office won’t work anymore, either. If there are places in your life and business where you have been sitting back, hiding, unwilling to be in front or have your voice, now really is the time to change it. Your awareness, creativity, ideas, and ability to look at new opportunities with and for your organization are going to be needed more than ever before, no matter your title.
Each day, ask, “How can I allow my difference to shine through and contribute in ways I’ve not considered before?”
3. Prioritize Your Body
The new demands of mixed work and homelife and the mental and physical stresses of adapting to them mean that finding outlets for nurturing you and your body are more paramount than ever. To better be present, engaged and empowered from a distance, you’ll require a degree of self-care that you cannot put on the backburner.
Step away from your work and life demands at regular intervals to relax and breathe for 5 minutes: Close your eyes, feel your feet on the ground, place your hands on your stomach, and breathe in. For 3 breaths, imagine pulling your breath up from the bottom of your feet to the top of your head, through your body and deep into the earth. For the next 3 breaths, pull your breath up through the earth, your body and out the top of your head.
Move every day and connect with nature. From inside your house or go outdoors and let the sun, trees, and fresh air rejuvenate you. Check in with your body every day and take action early when you perceive tension or signs of fatigue.
4. Be the Leader of Your Future
To be essential and relevant, you must stop looking externally for answers or for others to choose for you. You have to be the leader of your life every single day. Don’t wait. Create!
Each day has new requirements and new possibilities. Mentally clear the slate every morning and don’t reference the past to create your future. Ask, “What is possible today that was not yesterday?”
For better or worse, the old world no longer exists. You can choose to hide, fade and become irrelevant, or step up, take the lead, and create greater.
Your willingness to be a different voice and a leader for a greater future is what is needed now more than ever. Ask questions, be present, engage, nurture your body and your future. With these choices, you’ll create more than you currently think is possible in business and life, no matter where you are or what is occurring.
Laleh Alemzadeh-Hancock is a leadership and entrepreneurial coach, professional services consultant, personal wellness mentor, and founder and CEO of global professional services company, Belapemo. Laleh boasts 30 years’ experience in operational excellence, change management and business consulting, and has inspired and empowered millions of individuals including Fortune 500 executives, government agencies, non-profit organizations, athletes and veterans. A highly respected executive and leadership coach, Laleh has a particular interest in supporting and encouraging the leadership capabilities of women – in business, in the workplace, at home and in the wider community. She is featured alongside luminaries such as Oprah Winfrey, Melinda Gates, and Ginni Rometty in the 2019 publication, America’s Leading Ladies: Stories of courage, challenge and triumph. Follow Laleh.
Voice of Experience: Cheryl Camin Murray, Health Care Partner, Katten
People, Voices of Experience“Stick with it.” That’s the advice that Katten’s Cheryl Camin Murray has for younger associates, noting that employers can be accommodating if you ask.
“Sometimes you are at a point in your life where you need a more flexible schedule, but that doesn’t mean you have to automatically go off the partner track or to part time. You can continue to create opportunities in your career by asking for what you need; in fact, you may even be the impetus for a new policy or program that helps others.”
Finding Her Niche
That guidance has helped Murray achieve the career she envisioned: entering private practice, becoming an involved, contributing member to a firm, and eventually getting elevated to partner. Throughout her legal career she has focused on health care law, with a stint interning with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Inspector General, to cement her interest, then earning a master’s degree in public health from the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston in addition to her law degree.
Murray started as a summer associate and worked her way up to partner at another firm before she joined Katten’s newest office in Dallas in 2018 with two talented colleagues. Together they have grown the Texas Health Care practice, which represents one of her proudest professional accomplishments to date.
In light of the recent COVID-related ramifications, she has been focused on leading in a creative way that allows her to continue to support the firm and her clients, guiding them through transactional and regulatory matters, as well as the privacy and security concerns facing the health care industry. To that end, she serves on Katten’s COVID-19 advisory group, a multidisciplinary task force addressing the wide range of issues companies are facing in response to the coronavirus outbreak. She is also part of the Dallas Bar Association’s Coronavirus Task Force designed to bring attorneys the latest news on court closures, legal and community resources and webinar presentations. For example, with the growth of telehealth services during this time, Murray often counsels health care providers on major developments that could impact the delivery and coverage of such services.
Nurturing a Culture of Mutual Support
Murray advises young professionals to seek mentors as much as possible, identifying people with a breadth of experience to guide their careers and help identify next steps and goals and the best paths to getting there. She advocates that women attorneys who are more established in their careers support younger attorneys, but also each other. For her part, she has been active in “Act III,” an external women’s lawyer group that includes women from different practices who come together to help support each other as they navigate the next stage of their careers and then bring the next generation of women along with them.
While law is a great career path, she acknowledges it can be challenging for women. “Since genetically women carry and deliver the babies, companies are realizing they need to develop robust programs to offer support, such as enhanced maternity and paternity leave,” Murray said. It’s not just the official firm policy that matters, but also how that policy is turned into practice and integrated into the firm’s culture, she said.
As an equity partner at a prior firm when she had her triplets, Murray encountered a hurdle in taking time off although her colleagues were very supportive during this time. “When you have built a business around clients—relationships you’ve developed—it’s more challenging to go off the clock for an official maternity leave,” she notes. At Katten, she has found a firm that has been highly supportive with generous policies for families and a dedication to balance.
Her firm involvement includes a role as the Texas co-chair of Katten’s Women’s Leadership Forum, which supports the advancement and retention of female attorneys by offering mentoring, skill-building opportunities, external and internal networking, and career development programs. One recent event she felt was particularly helpful to attendees centered on how to identify and overcome the psychological phenomenon of “imposter syndrome.”
Outside the firm, Murray is equally involved, as the second vice president on the board of directors of the Dallas Bar Association; chair of the board of directors of the Southwest Transplant Alliance, a nonprofit organization that serves as the bridge between organ donors and potential transplant recipients in Texas; and a board member and former chair of the Dallas Friday Group, a nonpartisan organization of business people who share an interest in public affairs and business issues. On top of those roles, Murray is the mom of four-year-old triplets.
A busy practice, coupled with a fulfilling volunteer and family life, are the keys to success for Murray.
We Are Reworking Our Site This Week
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!, NewsWe are reworking and updating our site this week so please have patience while we troubleshoot to bring back our leading career advice and news by next week at the latest.
Thanks in advance,
Nicki Gilmour
CEO and Founder
OP-ED: The Empowerment of Women Starts With All of Us
PeopleEmpowerment can come in many forms.
According to Webster’s, the definition of empowerment is “granting of power, right or authority to perform various acts and duties or the state of having the power, right or authority to do something.”
So, empowerment can come from inside or it can be given to someone. In my experience, being empowered as a young girl helped me become stronger and more confident as a woman. I want to share my story with you to hopefully inspire you to empower others.
I was fortunate that my hard working, successful single mother never discouraged me from ‘traditional’ male subjects. She never graduated from high school and yet she was working at the White House and traveling with the Press Corps and Presidents Johnson and Nixon. She was a role model for being strong and confident and always told me that I could do whatever I want in life.
Growing up I was surrounded by women like Helen Thomas, the iconic correspondent from Associated Press, Gloria Steinem who had just started Ms. Magazine and was a leader in the women’s liberation movement. These women were powerful, visible and impactful. They were trail blazers who did not hesitate to follow their passion for change despite considerable obstacles. I practiced what I observed. As a teenager and young adult, I was told I was “rebel without a pause.” I was always eager to channel my energy into exploring new opportunities.
In college, I thought that I wanted to be a photo-journalist. Then my camera was stolen on a trip to Key West before the fall semester started, so I decided to try accounting. To my surprise, I loved it. I took the CPA exam as soon as I finished finals and a week later went to work at Arthur Andersen. Although 50% of the new hires were women, there weren’t many women in the senior ranks. It was a tough environment and even tougher as a woman. It was at Arthur Andersen that I found my first supporter in my professional career, a man named David, who was a partner. He told me that he expected brilliance from me. Through hard work, constructive feedback and opportunities I was promoted and quickly learned that with more visibility, there were new and higher barriers to overcome. David took a chance sponsoring me, a term that was not used that time. He provided me space to grow, to build my confidence and recognize my contributions to the firm. Although he was incredibly tough, I knew he had my back.
Through my experience with David and Arthur Andersen, I knew I had added responsibility to pay it forward to create opportunities and a more inclusive environment for women in the workplace. One small example occurred during a cold winter one year, back when women didn’t wear pants to work. I challenged the office Managing Partner and said “I’m going to wear pants to work tomorrow” and he replied, “fine, I’m going to wear a skirt.” That day my simple act of defiance helped drive change that was another stepping stone to improving the environment for women in our office.
I love to find great talent and the planning field has an unusually high percentage of women. I have been fortunate to help other women find opportunities that enable them to grow professionally and personally. Support can be as simple as encouragement, inviting someone to a conversation, or creating room from them to innovate. One of the members of my team was dedicated to client service, but I saw so much potential in her to lead others and share her voice more prominently. I coached her for a few years and provided her more exposure when I expanded her role from a regional to national level. She has also coached me to understand different perspectives. I have seen her flourish through the relationships she has built with others and helped her grow in confidence so she can someday step into my shoes.
Being available to talk to women in the finance field has been very rewarding. Listening to their experiences and needs has allowed me to adapt my management style. I have made sure that my teams have flexible work schedules and resources available to them so they can do their best work while still managing their personal lives. Ironically, working from home during the COVID-19 virus has shown other leaders that we can be effective with flexible work schedules and working from home.
We have a unique opportunity and responsibility to empower other women. According to a recent presentation at the Abbot Downing Women’s Summit, women have not been able to break a glass ceiling to get past 20% of women in leadership positions. Currently, 60% of undergraduate and graduate degrees are awarded to women. So, there are women entering the workforce. However, the conundrum to me, is that they still aren’t getting into the leadership positions at the same rate as men. It is amazing to me that 48 years after the first edition of Ms. Magazine and seven years after the book “Lean In” was published, women aren’t in more leadership roles. To quote Ruth Bader Ginsburg, “Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn’t be that women are the exception.”
If this is going to change, both the women in the 20% and men in leadership roles need to empower the 80% of women beneath the glass ceiling. Women and men need to recognize and support the women who show the desire and talent for leadership. I am fortunate to currently report to a man who provides this support for me and other women in the company.
Empowerment can happen at work or it can happen at home. As Gloria Steinem said, “The best way for us to cultivate fearlessness in our daughters and other young women is by example. If they see their mothers and other women in their lives going forward, despite fear, they’ll know it’s possible.”
I encourage us all to invest time into the change needed. We are all in a position of influence.
Op-Ed: From the Cold War to COVID-19: What I’ve Learned from My Front Row Seat
Guest ContributionI’ve been fortunate to have had a front row seat at major inflection points in history, beginning with my time at the Reagan Defense Department during the final days of the Cold War.
I had actually transferred to the White House just a few months prior to Gorbachev’s 1987 visit. Later, I joined Intel Corporation and had a chance to work on a part of the Intel Inside® program, which changed consumer tech purchasing habits forever, leading to Intel’s dominant semiconductor market share in the 90s. My husband and I enjoyed the dot-com boom and thankfully survived the bust.
In 2004-2005, working closely with the auto industry, I hosted a hallmark Nagoya meeting between Toyota patriarch Dr. Shoichiro Toyoda and General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner. Our building was surrounded by hundreds of Japanese paparazzi as the companies battled it out for top global sales position with the Japanese automaker maintaining the edge. And in 2009, as obesity was emerging as a global health risk, I worked with 16 food and beverage company CEOs to help reduce 6.4T calories from 35% of the food sold in the United States.
As an observer, a participant and a leader during times of historic change, I learned to plan for multiple scenarios when redesigning and building high-impact, sustainable operations. Here’s what I know about managing through an inflection point:
• Always plan for disaster. Anticipate that at some stage, something will fail and determine whether or not the systems you have built will survive significant fallout from political or economic events, regulation or new competition. The question I ask daily is, “If we have the worst market crash tomorrow will we be able to sustain our core research infrastructure?”
• Hire smart people and help them move quickly by moving boulders out of their way.
• Look for opportunities to partner with other organizations to decrease costs by supplementing existing activities, creating new channels or outsourcing lower-yielding but well-loved legacy initiatives.
• Run as fast as you can. Do not slow down. You only have a short window of time in which to build and you need to move quickly.
• Preserve cash. Organizations who maintain lean operating systems and build reserves have the highest probability of riding out the worst market.
In 2018, when I joined FARE [Food Allergy Research and Education] as its CEO, rather than experience an inflection point, for the first time I may have created one for the organization. With a remit to restructure the organization and facilitate high-net-worth donor and industry investment to drive therapies and diagnostics into the marketplace to meet the needs of an underserved patient community, in 12 months we received $75M in commitments and put into place a cash conservation plan.
Now amidst the COVID-19 pandemic and even as some states and businesses prepare to open, at another inflection point. You simply never know when the inflection points will arise, yet here we are again as organizations try to pause to help others, while doing their best to stay relevant and generate revenue to support the needs of populations they serve.
Today, my staff knows that all ideas are on the table as we meet 2020 objectives in unanticipated ways. We are culling through my archives of the most innovative concepts executed by former teams during opportunity and crisis as we look for that kernel of a concept that can be reimagined and extended. Interestingly, we are finding that ideas gleaned from science fiction, spy novels and murder mysteries sometimes lead to the next new idea. We take thoughts and play them out in a 100 percent digital engagement or a combination concept like 10 and under in-person salons connected via Zoom across the country. And we find our humor and celebrate wins daily.
As Andy Grove says: “Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.” While we are in the midst of a pandemic, and closures and work stoppages may seem disastrous, keep running and do your best to enjoy your front row seat. It will help for next time.
Lisa Gable is CEO of FARE, Food Allergy Research Education, the largest private funder of food allergy research advocating on behalf of the 32 million Americans living with potentially life-threatening food allergies. Lisa’s passion, expertise, and fearless workstyle have propelled her to achieve the titles of CEO, US Ambassador, UN Delegate, Chairman of the Board, and advisor to Presidents, Governors, and CEOs of Fortune 500 and CPG Companies worldwide.