Contributed by Farnoosh Brock, Founder and CEO of Prolific Living, Inc.
It took me a long time to figure this out at my previous career in a Fortune 100 company: it is far better to see yourself as an equal to your boss than as someone working “under” him or her.
This subtle shift in mindset completely changed the conversations I was having with my bosses as well as the directors and VPs with whom I worked. It brought my true value to light and as a result, it helped advance my career growth.
Frankly, I was surprised because it all comes down to mindset, especially if you are – like I was – a high performing valuable part of the organization, and already doing the work and getting the results, and yet your career is not advancing accordingly.
What can this shift in mindset do for you?
First, what does being equal to your boss mean? I do understand the corporate hierarchy, the chain of command, and the need for respect and authority – I lived and breathed corporate life for 12 years – but you can do all that and still act in an equal partnership.
You can continue to show respect, and to let him or her have the final say on decisions, and yet position yourself as a true equal in the relationship.
And your boss will thank you for it if you do it right and I will tell you how to get it right.
First, stop thinking so much about what you can “get” out of your boss such as leaving early on Fridays or fighting over a 3% raise. Instead, focus on ways that you can encourage him or her to willingly “give” you your true worth in compensation and responsibility and consider you an indispensable part of the organization.
And how do you do that?
First, start understanding the real worth and value you bring to your team and your organization. Are you really doing things that are worthy of marking you indispensable? If the honest answer is no, then take the time to assess your current role and if need be, create a smart strategy to change your role or find the right position.
But let’s say you are worthy of being highly regarded, so then look at the perceived value that your boss puts on your work. If there is a gap (and there generally is!) between the true value that you bring and the perceived one in his or her mind, it is your perfect opportunity to set the record straight once and for all.
Here are my 3-little known ways to get on equal footing with your boss.
Creating a Future: 2012 Multicultural Women’s National Conference
Featured, Managing ChangeThis week Working Mother Media celebrated the 10th year of its Multicultural Women’s National Conference. The event, led by Carol Evans, President of Working Mother Media, celebrated a decade of progress in advancing multicultural women in the corporate workplace.
Evans presented data showing how the percentage of multicultural women in corporations, while still slim, has grown significantly over the past ten years. The first time the organization surveyed its member companies (“Best Companies”) on the subject of multicultural women, Evans continued, “Nobody knew whether it was okay to release these numbers or if they should stay hidden.”
Looking at the total workforce of Best Companies, 21% are multicultural women. “But as you go up the ladder…” Evans continued, the percentage decreases significantly. Today 12% of officers or managers at Best Companies are women of color, compared to only 7% nationwide. Only four percent of board members at Best Companies are multicultural women.
Evans noted that 4.3% of direct reports to the CEO are multicultural women, while 72.7% are Caucasian men. Multicultural women only make up 2.8% of P&L roles at Best Companies, compared with Caucasian women at 19.5% and men at 77.7%.
But, she continued, despite these small numbers, multicultural women represented 14% of top earners at Best Companies, compared to 11% last year. Finally, she added, companies are working to increase diversity. Over four out of five respondents (84%) said they rate managers on how they handle diversity issues. And 36% have compensation practices that reward managers for helping multicultural women advance.
She called for more trust and cooperation between white women and multicultural women in order to share the growing space for women at the top. “Our future together is for us to create together,” she said.
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The Most Important Tool for Emotional Intelligence
Ask A Career CoachEmotional intelligence (EQ) is a key driver of success in the workplace, perhaps the most important driver. Studies show that those at the high levels of emotional intelligence earn $29,000 more per year than those at lower levels, and 90% of high performers have high EQ. The good news is that emotional intelligence, unlike IQ, can be learned.
Emotional intelligence, according to a book and assessment tool Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is our ability to recognize and understand emotions in ourselves and others and our ability to use this awareness to manage our relationships. One tool that continues to be transformational for me in practicing emotional intelligence is what I fondly refer to as “the Pregnant Pause.” I see this as the gateway tool for emotional intelligence.
Imagine this scenario. You have a major presentation to senior management at your company.
You’ve been working on the 50-page power point for a month. If you’d kept track of all the versions you’d be at version 89. All the nits the management two levels above you pointed out have been corrected. It is show-time. You’ve had barely three hours of sleep and your nerves are on edge. You make what you believe to be a stellar presentation and are waiting for the standing ovation when Dave, a peer you’re not exactly fond of, asks a stupid question on slide 45 in the footnotes. Clearly, he’s just trying to make you look bad so you snap back with a sarcastic, “Well, if you’d read the pre-read deck, it’s all explained in detail there!” Ouch. Did that actually come out of your mouth?
This is what is called the emotional highjack. The emotions in your brain highjack the rational part of your brain that would have responded “Great question, Dave. Let me address that.” The Pregnant Pause is a leadership practice that causes us to notice when our emotions run high and to make a conscious choice to slow down and let our rational brain catch up. When we allow that, we discover what is really happening with a clearer lens, we truly listen to what others are saying, and are able to make better decisions. We can then give birth to the right solutions.
Here are five practices to make the Pregnant Pause part of your everyday life.
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Shift Your Mindset and Put Yourself on Equal Footing with Your Boss
Expert AnswersIt took me a long time to figure this out at my previous career in a Fortune 100 company: it is far better to see yourself as an equal to your boss than as someone working “under” him or her.
This subtle shift in mindset completely changed the conversations I was having with my bosses as well as the directors and VPs with whom I worked. It brought my true value to light and as a result, it helped advance my career growth.
Frankly, I was surprised because it all comes down to mindset, especially if you are – like I was – a high performing valuable part of the organization, and already doing the work and getting the results, and yet your career is not advancing accordingly.
What can this shift in mindset do for you?
First, what does being equal to your boss mean? I do understand the corporate hierarchy, the chain of command, and the need for respect and authority – I lived and breathed corporate life for 12 years – but you can do all that and still act in an equal partnership.
You can continue to show respect, and to let him or her have the final say on decisions, and yet position yourself as a true equal in the relationship.
And your boss will thank you for it if you do it right and I will tell you how to get it right.
First, stop thinking so much about what you can “get” out of your boss such as leaving early on Fridays or fighting over a 3% raise. Instead, focus on ways that you can encourage him or her to willingly “give” you your true worth in compensation and responsibility and consider you an indispensable part of the organization.
And how do you do that?
First, start understanding the real worth and value you bring to your team and your organization. Are you really doing things that are worthy of marking you indispensable? If the honest answer is no, then take the time to assess your current role and if need be, create a smart strategy to change your role or find the right position.
But let’s say you are worthy of being highly regarded, so then look at the perceived value that your boss puts on your work. If there is a gap (and there generally is!) between the true value that you bring and the perceived one in his or her mind, it is your perfect opportunity to set the record straight once and for all.
Here are my 3-little known ways to get on equal footing with your boss.
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Bypassing the Glass Escalator Threat
Managing ChangeThe glass ceiling has remained a stubborn fixture in corporate America for decades. Now new research shows that over the past 10 years, another invisible friend has joined it: the glass escalator.
The New York Times analyzed census data that reveals from 2000 to 2010, occupations that are primarily associated with females (more than 70 percent women) represented close to one third of the job growth for men. That’s twice the amount of the previous decade.
Forbes points out that while this trend may be good for men and on the surface may benefit families as well, it presents a clear obstacle to women in female-dominated professions, such as nursing and teaching. As Jenna Goudreau, Forbes staff, said, “While women climb the ladder in female-dominated professions, their male peers glide past them on an invisible escalator, shooting straight to the top.”
Goudreau’s article explains that this is because men who enter these particular fields tend to be promoted at faster rates, becoming disproportionately represented in senior management. The New York Times notes that even in female-dominated jobs where they’re in the minority, men still make more money than their female counterparts.
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Voice of Experience: Deborah Freer, Chief Operating Officer, US, RBC Capital Markets
Voices of ExperienceDeborah Freer, U.S. Chief Operating Officer at RBC Capital Markets, began her career over three decades ago, and says she believes strongly in the importance of women helping women, and of being a mentor.
For example, looking back on her own early career, Freer said, “I wish I had a little more insight into how to deal with certain types of people. My first 10 years would have been easier. I wish I had had more insight into how things ultimately work in this business.”
It is fortunate, then, for Freer’s niece, who is beginning her own career on Wall Street. Her aunt has amassed a slew of advice to share with her. “I tell her, ‘Keep your eyes open, every single day. You can’t think for a second that you’re not going to learn or add value.’”
She continued, “The other thing is that you have to do your job really well before you start trying for the next one. You need to prove you can ace a job before you get considered for the next promotion. And always ask for feedback. Push people into telling you how you’re doing whether it’s good or bad. And don’t be afraid to try new things.”
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Intrepid Woman: Claudia Chan, Founder of ClaudiaChan.com and S.H.E. Summit
Intrepid Women SeriesAccording to Claudia Chan, founder of ClaudiaChan.com, women must build stronger relationships with one another in order to unlock our potential for leadership. “When you look at statistics like those from CARE, which show women do 60 percent of the world’s work, yet earn just ten percent of the world’s income and own only one percent of the world’s property, I think you have to realize that if we, as women, don’t support each other, we will be left behind.”
She continued, “And women, now more than ever, are supporting each other through organizations like JoinFITE, created by Jane Wurwand of Dermalogica, to help women start and build businesses to support their families, or the venture capital firm Golden Seeds, created by Stephanie Newby, invest in female-run companies while delivering above market returns for investors. Now is the perfect time to focus on networking with each other because there is both the incredible need to do so and the possibility of amazing returns.”
That’s why Chan put together the recent S.H.E. Summit held in New York City in June. “I realized that, while we have weeks dedicated to almost everything, from Fashion Week and Social Media Week to Restaurant Week, there is no week that is set aside just for women to focus on themselves.”
The event featured over 40 events “for, by, and about women,” on networking, entrepreneurship, and professional development, wellness, beauty, and personal growth.
“S.H.E. Summit Week is a time for women to come together to find the inspiration, support and community they need to help them dream and do big things. As women, we take on a lot, and it’s important to take a break from the stress of every day life to focus on our passions so we can start to see how to live our lives with purpose,” she added.
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Forté Aims to Increase Number of Women Directors with New ‘Board Ready’ List
Industry Leaders, LeadershipAt last month’s Forté MBA Women’s Conference, the Forté Foundation announced an initiative to increase the number of women on corporate boards in the US. By working with its partner schools, as well as Intrabond Capital, Watermark, and Women on Boards 2020, the organization will develop a list of hundreds of board-ready professional women.
After all, despite a plethora of qualified women ready to take board seats, companies still seem to need help locating them. According to Catalyst, women only held about 16% of board seats at Fortune 500 companies last year. Perhaps a list of women ready to take on director positions will encourage companies to think twice about whom they hire for top roles and why.
Elissa Ellis Sangster, Executive Director of the Forté Foundation explained that each of the organization’s member schools will be asked to participate. “We’re asking the schools specifically to identify five women. And at least some will identify more than that.”
It will take some time to develop, Sangster explained, noting that the women identified will have to give their permission to be included on the list as well, and the schools will provide a representative who can work with executive search firms and other groups looking for women board candidates. “We’re really trying to be a conduit,” she explained.
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Voice of Experience: Judy Wesalo Temel, Principal and Director of Credit Research, Samson Capital Advisors
Voices of ExperienceJudy Wesalo Temel, Principal and Director of Credit Research at Samson Capital Advisors, believes enthusiasm about your work is crucial for a successful career.
“You have to be passionate about what you’re doing,” she explained. “You are not going to be successful unless you really care about your field. Read and absorb new developments and do not get stuck in a rut.”
“A colleague once told me, ‘If you go home at night without learning something new every day, you haven’t done your job.’ This advice applies to everyone, no matter what area you’re in,” she added.
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Is Community Service the Key for Women in Accounting?
Next LevelEach year, the Accounting MOVE report focuses in on a particular dynamic that affects women’s career advancement in public accounting. This year the report’s creator, Joanne Cleaver, president and founder of the research firm Wilson-Taylor Associates, took some advice from Tammy Young, the managing director of human resources for Moss Adams, one of the report’s sponsoring firms. According to Young, community service is an underappreciated route for advancing women. Cleaver followed up on the tip and what she discovered truly has the power to change the lives of countless women in accounting, fulfilling their desire to move up in the firm and give back to their communities.
Cleaver found that community service is available to all women, in firms of all sizes, in all communities. Many nonprofits offer leadership development training that local firms can access to enhance their in-house programs. But what exactly are the benefits of an accounting firm providing women with opportunities to integrate their career aspirations with community service? According to Cleaver, numerous studies validate that women are deeply motivated to find meaning (greater than a paycheck) in their work, and now, the 2012 Accounting MOVE report sheds even more light on the possibilities.
“There are only so many hours in the day. Women rising through the ranks at public accounting firms must acquire business development skills and that demand increases as they become managers,” Cleaver said. “Often, that stage coincides with family responsibilities. It’s an awful lot to fit into the work week, so when firms align their growth drivers with talent development, they can identify community service opportunities that intersect with firm goals. Community service can do triple duty: it is a channel for gaining business development skills, that also fulfills women’s deeper career motivations, and can help firms develop tomorrow’s partners.”
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Listen to How You Listen
Ask A Career CoachWant to make better decisions? Want to achieve your goals? Want to make deeper connections with others? Listening is the key to each of these. But, have you ever stopped to listen to how you listen? Read the movie script below and you’ll never listen the same way again.
Legal Disclaimer: This is a purely fictitious situation. Any resemblance of the characters or story to past or current events or people you may know is purely coincidental.
The characters are an employee and her boss. The situation is a mid-year review meeting. The location is the brightly lit boss’s office.
Fade out. Before we move on to the rest of the movie do you see what’s happening? There are two movies going on. One in real time and the other in the employee’s thought balloon. While the situation is a bit extreme for dramatic effect, how well is the employee listening to the boss?
The problem arises when we are not even aware of the movie playing in our heads. We just assume that movie is reality. The fact is that the stories we have in our heads prevent us from listening clearly. And the purpose of this blog post is to help each of us listen more closely to how we listen.
In this situation the employee comes in believing that her boss doesn’t support her. Her beliefs cause her to hear only the statements that are consistent with her beliefs. This is a well-researched phenomenon called “cognitive dissonance.” It is hard for the brain, especially under stress, to process any information that is inconsistent with its previous understanding, so it tends to disregard it.
Awareness of our “filters” (the way in which we listen to others) reduces the static in the connections we have with others. When we start to see a situation more objectively it allows us to be more emotionally intelligent in the situation, make better decisions, act from greater objectivity, and establish more genuine connections with others. Listening to how you listen is truly a transformational tool.
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