Contributed by Beate Chelette
The recent Atlantic cover story on whether or not women can “have it all” has certainly hit a national nerve. The week after the article came out it had received more than 1.1 million online views. Women and men all around the country are registering their objection or approval of author, mother of two, and former State Department official Anne-Marie Slaughter’s premise that the ‘70s feminist mantra of “having it all” is, in reality, not so easy – and maybe not even possible unless women push for changes in society.
Women who juggle career and family know well how tough it can be. I certainly do. I nurtured a baby and a start-up alone, after my divorce, squeezing time to write my business plan in between my day-to-day duties as a single mom. I worked past midnight many nights and on weekends to get everything done – and it was exhausting.
As a former corporate director, and now an entrepreneur and professional career coach, I’ve trained and worked with hundreds of professional women – and men – who say they feel overwhelmed by trying to “do it all.” Reality check – come on, who doesn’t feel this way? There is always something that needs pressing attention and hardly enough time in a day to get things done – ever.
But there is a better way than running after your life and trying to catch up 24/7. Let’s take a closer look. As women, many of us spend our lives wondering where we are and, in the words of that old Talking Heads song, “How did I get here?” This is not some existential malaise, a sense that the world is too much for us. This is real. It is real because over the last few decades all we did was add more to our workload. From having been focused entirely on home and kids, things are decidedly different.
Women have had 50 years of breakthroughs in society, becoming more the equal, but still not the equal, of men in earning-power and opportunities. But, we are the same as far as responsibilities are concerned. Here is the issue though: the majority of us can’t outsource having children (albeit I do see a celebrity trend emerging). And because we continue to find a partner, tie the knot, and set out to start families, we in essence continue to do all we ever did – plus add all the new exciting stuff like career, money, and feeling good about ourselves.
Because it is so overwhelming and because we have close to no role models that show us how it can be done successfully, we end up and remain self-doubting, self-sabotaging, self-hating, even. Why? Because what is on our plate is impossible to manage. When I was going through some of these things myself, I also wanted to figure out why this was. And Iwanted to find a solution – one that could help women everywhere. And, I did.
The solution is a concept I named ego-Rhythm. It states in its simplest essence that there is a designated time where you have everything in ONE rhythm at a time. You can have it all, over time, and eventually all at once, but it’s a process.
Mentoring Matters: How to Develop Fruitful Professional Relationships
Expert AnswersWhen was the last time you sat down for coffee with someone who really cares about your professional development? When was the last time you treated someone else to lunch for the purpose of encouraging them in their career path? It’s easy to get sidetracked by daily demands, but fostering professional relationships can add tremendous potential to your career growth. Plus, building a strong network in business is crucial for overall well being and career satisfaction as well.
Over the course of my career, I’ve held a variety of roles in finance, business and technology – fields in which women tend to be underrepresented. In these roles, I’ve been able to observe and experience the importance of mentorship. I’ve also recognized the value of seeking strategic counsel, moral support and fresh thinking from my peers and mentors, and offering my own insights to other women seeking the same.
Making professional relationship-building a priority takes time, but it’s worth it. Here are some guidelines I’ve found helpful in creating the most value from professional mentor relationships:
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Five Killer Tips for a Confident Presentation
Next LevelEveryone has sat through at least one horrible presentation. Sometimes it’s bad because the subject matter is irrelevant or poorly researched. Other times, the presenter lacks a successful public-speaking presence. Just like in other aspects of business, your creativity and personality are yours to wield the best way you can. If you feel as if your presentation abilities need improvement, consider the below tips to change the way you approach the task.
1. Give credit to your audience’s knowledge.
Fryear faculty fellow and assistant professor of business administration at the University of Pittsburgh, Dr. Cait Poyntor Lamberton says that one big pitfall is when “people don’t give their audience credit for knowing something.” She suggests instead that you “prove your depth of knowledge by applying it,” to the specific purpose of the presentation. As a presenter, you may want to show off a little by explaining a concept or providing details that everyone already knows. If you choose to do so, keep it to a minimum.
Often this is used to fill (or kill) time, but no one has ever complained if a presentation ended sooner than expected, especially if it was fast-paced and focused on the new information and important conclusions brought forward by the presenter.
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Launching a New Conversation: Maternity, Motherhood, and Executive Women
Work-LifeThough Yahoo’s new CEO Marissa Mayer didn’t ask to be a role model for pregnant executives, she has nonetheless become one. But beyond Mayer, what is the effect of her choices on executive women across the board and in the boardroom?
After all, says Sasha Galbraith, Marissa Mayer isn’t the only senior executive who has tried to tackle a work-life blend. She recalls attending a lecture by a pregnant CEO in tech some 20 years ago. “Mayer is not the first pregnant CEO in tech,” Galbraith says. “There have been others, but they haven’t been as high-powered.”
Some suggest that other female executives can parlay the momentum of the announcement into a teachable moment—for women, corporations, and society. “Mayer’s situation signals to other women that we need to let go of societal expectations around gender roles and questioning women’s abilities to balance a demanding career and a baby, and accept that it can be done in much the same way men do it,” says Jamie Ladge, assistant professor of management and organizational development at Northeastern University’s College of Business.
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Intrepid Woman: Kimberly Foss, President & Founder, Empyrion Wealth Management
Intrepid Women Series“At 11 years old, I realized I wanted to be in money management,” said Kimberly Foss, Founder and President of Empyrion Wealth Management. “I was the youngest of six kids and all I had were hand-me-downs. I wanted Jordache Jeans so bad,” she recalled with a laugh. “I was hooked on the capitalism thing.”
Foss went on to study business at California State University at Chico and joined Merrill Lynch. After a few years, she says, she was ready to strike out on her own. “I left Merrill at 25 and started my own practice in capital markets with the philosophy to really do right by people. It was either sink or swim.”
“And 25 years later, I still have a business, so I must be doing something right.”
After growing her business and finding success in the financial markets, Foss is committed to helping empower all women to take control of their own money management.
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Bring Your Soul To Work Day
Ask A Career CoachI have recently talked with many women who are looking for ways their work can, as they say, “feed their soul.” Our work drains us. Many of us are looking to transition to other jobs, start businesses on the side, or work for non-profits in order to find work that fulfills us.
On the other hand there are many of us that are stuck. We either fear giving up the steady paycheck and benefits or we just can’t seem to find the next job, business, or career that would feed the soul. So we go to work every day trying to make the best of a situation where we are not engaged. We express our passions (the very best we have to give) outside of work. Consider that according to a Gallup study only 29% of people in the U.S. are fully engaged in the work that we do. The personal and organizational impact of this is tremendous in terms of the lost productivity, creativity and sense of wellbeing.
So how do we bring soul back to our work? How about we declare a “Bring your Soul to Work Day”? How about we challenge ourselves as individuals and leaders to seek the soul in the work that we do and the environments we create for our people. How do we do that?
In my opinion it is through work that engages us. It inspires us. It stretches us. It connects us to a bigger sense of ourselves and something bigger than ourselves. It takes daily practice to find this kind of soul and joy in the work that we do. Here are five ways to do that.
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New Debate Ignites on Maternity, Motherhood, and Executive Women
Work-Life“Mayer’s appointment contradicts the common wisdom that maternity and motherhood are incompatible with top executive positions. It may increase the willingness of organizations to consider pregnant women for top positions. It may also increase the aspirations of executive women. They may see that it is possible to combine maternity and motherhood with a position at the top.”
– Laura Graves, Associate Professor of Management, Graduate School of Management, Clark University
When Marissa Mayer was named CEO of Yahoo last week, many wished to be able to simply cheer the arrival of the newest member to join the small group of women CEOs in the Fortune 500. But celebration over Mayer’s appointment to become one of only a handful of women to hold the top spot in a major U.S. company was quickly overshadowed by the announcement that she is also seven months pregnant—and that she plans to largely work through her maternity leave.
The multi-layered news struck different chords with thought leaders throughout the tech industry, as well as the larger business community. To explore the full range of issues and implications for other executive women, we spoke with a wide range of industry experts and academics about their thoughts on Mayer’s groundbreaking career moves.
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Voice of Experience: Shona Milne, CFO EMEA, Deutsche Bank
Voices of ExperienceAfter spending more than twenty-five years in investment banking in London, Shona Milne has taken on quite a few big roles. Now CFO for EMEA and Managing Director of EMEA Finance at Deutsche Bank’s London office, Milne is responsible for 27 countries.
But today, she’s also passionately focused on her position as a role model for women and LGBT individuals at the firm.
“I suppose I should be telling you my proudest achievements have been something like building a global finance function for equities or EMEA,” she said. “But actually what gives me more pride is my involvement in Deutsche Bank’s diversity networks, particularly being a senior sponsor of the LGBT network.”
“A few years ago I realized that I had to give something back, that I had the ability as a Managing Director to be a positive role model. There are not many people who are out at the Managing Director level, and it’s a privilege for those of us who are to be able to make a difference on this topic.”
She mentioned her involvement in Deutsche Bank’s web videos on diversity, participation in chairing diversity networks, and speaking on LGBT issues at events. “It’s incredibly rewarding. And maybe as you get older you become more comfortable about doing these things. You want to be a role model, not just for LGBT, but for senior women as well, and other diversity networks.”
“That gives me personal pride,” she added.
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Can Women Have it All? Here’s What’s Missing In The Debate
Expert AnswersThe recent Atlantic cover story on whether or not women can “have it all” has certainly hit a national nerve. The week after the article came out it had received more than 1.1 million online views. Women and men all around the country are registering their objection or approval of author, mother of two, and former State Department official Anne-Marie Slaughter’s premise that the ‘70s feminist mantra of “having it all” is, in reality, not so easy – and maybe not even possible unless women push for changes in society.
Women who juggle career and family know well how tough it can be. I certainly do. I nurtured a baby and a start-up alone, after my divorce, squeezing time to write my business plan in between my day-to-day duties as a single mom. I worked past midnight many nights and on weekends to get everything done – and it was exhausting.
As a former corporate director, and now an entrepreneur and professional career coach, I’ve trained and worked with hundreds of professional women – and men – who say they feel overwhelmed by trying to “do it all.” Reality check – come on, who doesn’t feel this way? There is always something that needs pressing attention and hardly enough time in a day to get things done – ever.
But there is a better way than running after your life and trying to catch up 24/7. Let’s take a closer look. As women, many of us spend our lives wondering where we are and, in the words of that old Talking Heads song, “How did I get here?” This is not some existential malaise, a sense that the world is too much for us. This is real. It is real because over the last few decades all we did was add more to our workload. From having been focused entirely on home and kids, things are decidedly different.
Women have had 50 years of breakthroughs in society, becoming more the equal, but still not the equal, of men in earning-power and opportunities. But, we are the same as far as responsibilities are concerned. Here is the issue though: the majority of us can’t outsource having children (albeit I do see a celebrity trend emerging). And because we continue to find a partner, tie the knot, and set out to start families, we in essence continue to do all we ever did – plus add all the new exciting stuff like career, money, and feeling good about ourselves.
Because it is so overwhelming and because we have close to no role models that show us how it can be done successfully, we end up and remain self-doubting, self-sabotaging, self-hating, even. Why? Because what is on our plate is impossible to manage. When I was going through some of these things myself, I also wanted to figure out why this was. And Iwanted to find a solution – one that could help women everywhere. And, I did.
The solution is a concept I named ego-Rhythm. It states in its simplest essence that there is a designated time where you have everything in ONE rhythm at a time. You can have it all, over time, and eventually all at once, but it’s a process.
Read more
Movers and Shakers: Linda Beaudoin, SVP, Compensation, ING U.S. Investment Management
Movers and ShakersLinda Beaudoin, Head of Compensation for ING U.S. Investment Management (ING U.S. IM), spent the first 20 years of her career in finance. She started at Aetna working in management reporting, and then moved to the investment side supporting budgeting and analysis and product profitability. A few years after the firm was acquired by ING in 2000, she decided she was ready for a change.
“After twenty years of finance, I decided to take a risk and totally shift gears and move to HR. And it’s the best thing I could have done.” She started out as a generalist, but because of her finance background, Beaudoin quickly took on a comp focus. “That was my niche. I wish I had known that many years ago.”
“Never be afraid to take those risks – as you mature it’s something you become more comfortable doing,” she added.
One of Beaudoin’s proudest achievements came as the result of several acquisitions ING made in 2002 and 2003, including four separate asset management firms. “They had varied company philosophies and plans,” she explained, and the company had to figure out how to integrate them all. “And it was the first time I had worked intimately with senior management,” she recalled.
“I was new to HR and I realized I had a voice at the table. I realized I wasn’t going to get by on hard work alone. I started speaking up and being seen as a leader.”
She continued, “I wish I was more confident earlier in my career – that I had the confidence to speak up, offer my opinions, and ask questions I should have asked.”
“I always got kudos for the quality of my work, but not the recognition I should have gotten. If nobody knows you, it’s hard to progress in your career. My daughter is 27 and I give her that advice all the time. I’m trying to instill in her that guidance.”
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The Case for Paid Parental Leave
Work-LifeIn a 2008 examination of 21 high-income countries, the Center for Economic and Policy Research (CEPR) found that the U.S. ranked 20th in terms of generosity of parental leave and policy designs for couples – just ahead of dead last Switzerland. And the situation hasn’t improved much since. When Australia began its Paid Parental Scheme last year, the United States became the only member of the 34-country Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development that does not offer some form of paid leave to working parents after the birth or adoption of a child.
The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993 entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave for certain family and medical reasons with continuation of group health insurance coverage under the same terms and conditions as if the employee had not taken leave. The FMLA does not apply to all employers or to all employees, however. According to the CEPR report, “about 40 percent of American workers are not eligible for FMLA, and only about a quarter of U.S. employers offer fully paid maternity-related leave of any kind.
In many ways, work/family debates are as much about class as they are about gender – highly educated and relatively wealthy professional women likely fare better in that they can afford high quality child care. Yet, in the U.S., the lack of maternity benefits is one of the few things that affects all working mothers, at all income levels, in all stages of their careers. But this is not just a women’s issue and discussing it as such only makes progress more unlikely. Only 50 nations offer paid leave for fathers and, though paid parental leave is not mandated in the U.S., there are some state-run programs, such as California and New Jersey.
When work/life balance was framed as a women’s issue, progress was slow, but as it continues to be framed as a topic that affects all workers, flexible work options are becoming more prevalent. How can we continue to restructure the debate – and the reality – so women, men, families, and employers win?
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