Nicki GilmourProductivity is state of mind.

Aided by peace of mind which none of us have right now in the midst of a pandemic.

As someone who invented and launched theglasshammer from my living room in Brooklyn, I can testify to needing utmost grit, tenacity, determination and focus to produce a large volume of work on a daily basis for thirteen years through good and bad times looking at a wall or a screen. In fact, the irony is, social distancing feels rather similar to my everyday professional life of walk the dog, write editorial, do coaching on zoom/facetime, cook lunch, walk the dog, write, coach, cook, childcare on repeat. I even lived in the woods for two years so social isolation is clearly what I have been training for, dear readers.

Here are my top 5 tips for keeping it all going during this time:

1. Set Boundaries- physical, mental and emotion for yourself

Physical boundaries are the easiest. Delineate areas in your house, even a corner of your apartment to work from. Do what you need to do to make it “nice” for you. Pictures, or a bare desk, you know who you are. Keep it clean by clorox wiping the bottom of your laptop and keys and screen once a day. Ditto phone.

Mental and emotional boundaries are harder. Confine work to work and don’t check email on the couch on your phone for example. Also, to emotionally protect yourself during work do not read news, instead listen to soothing classical music, jazz, a radio station that you like ( for me BBC Radio 2 cannot be beaten)  or an old “album” that brings you back to a good time. Create nostalgia if you need that on dark quarantine days as this is going to last for a while so stamina and strategy are crucial elements to keeping sane and therefore productive.

2. Get Exercise

Get up and walk outside (while keeping a distance of course) or peleton or bike yourself skinny. Whatever your jam is, and is still ok to do, do it. You can sit on an exercise ball and have a stand up adjustable desk, there are ways to create variety. Get your trainer to work with you virtually. You don’t have to go as far as Sarah Conner in Terminator 2 doing chin ups on the metal bed frame ( humor will get us though this).

3. Get hobbies.

Ever wanted to speak a language? I learned to cook when i lived in the woods, cook like Julia Child with WW2 dried goods. Challenge yourself to be resourceful. Grow veggies, knit, read books about foraging mushrooms even if you never do it.  It is amazing what you learn skill wise and more importantly what you learn about yourself.

Have kids? Explore new stuff with them in the down time. Coloring is extremely soothing and Frozen 2 will provide you with plenty to do there including googling “let it go” in many languages and belting it out “Libre Soy”.

If you are a busy person, chances are there are several TV shows you have wanted to catch up on. I just started Outlander, a celtic time traveling tale that lasts for 6 or 7 seasons, that will be a great mental distraction to invest in (also life in 1743 makes our current reality as dire as it is, still better). And novels, remember them? Have virtual book clubs with your friends. Virtual wine and cheese ( i have been invited to one already). Business books and professional development books are also good and here are my recommendations for the next few weeks:

Authentic Gravitas

Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader

Everyday Negotiations

You are a Badass

Immunity to Change

Buy extra coffee, tea, candy, chocolate, vodka, wine or whatever you need for the days that you need a cheap thrill.

4. Get reflective time

See this as opportunity to look inwards and reflect what is meaningful to you. Take a list of “should do’s” and figure out what is real and what is not. What is working for you? What is not? What do you want to do differently when we emerge from this? What has been the best of 2020 so far that you can expand on at work? Meditate – however and whatever method works and watch how you can regain the power of your mind.

5. Use technology to get the job done

There is actually a lot to be said for saving time not commuting. You might find you do more old fashioned calling and videoconferencing with someone because you do lack the human contact factor. Email is still email. It is by getting sucked into facebook and other productivity sucks like cat videos that you will wonder why the “to-do” list is still there.

Video call your friends near and far, call your parents and older friends as they have to stay in the most.

Good luck and if you need executive and frankly, life coaching on how to thrive professionally and personally during this unusual time, book in with me at nicki@theglasshammer.com – 3 video sessions x 90 mins long that you can use all year long for $899 or book a 15 mins chat to see if it for you here

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Get PromotedIf your goal is to get promoted in 2020, then you might consider doing an inventory of your relationships. Figuring out who your advocates or sponsors are is a good start. Then think about how you deploy them as true sponsors, so that you can secure and be rewarded for some high profile assignments. This, if you can get a great sponsor and are willing to make them look good is still a very effective career strategy.

My favorite academic Hermina Ibarra discusses the spectrum of mentor to sponsor or advocate in HBR in a way that really demonstrates that it is ok to have a mentor but to not be surprised when they are just an advice giver as opposed to an opportunity giver or “cash their chips on your behalf” person for you.

Sponsorship, almost ten years old as a named concept

We first started writing about sponsorship when the term was coined by Sylvia Ann Hewlett in 2011 when she wrote with Amex about the benefits of the relationship for female executives looking to succeed at work. We continued to write about through the early teens of this past decade as people struggled with the differentiation of mentors versus sponsors. The conclusion that Ibarra makes and I agree with as an organizational coach, is that most formal sponsorship programs haven’t delivered and in some cases have been scrapped altogether. As she states in her article,

“Typically, they abandon sponsorship because experience has shown them that while you can ask senior executives to provide advice and support to high-potential women, you cannot mandate that they spend their personal capital advocating for people they don’t know well or may not be bullish about.”

So, what can you do? Figure out who is who in your network using Ibarra’s sliding scale of mentor, strategizer, connector, opportunity giver and advocate. Once you know where you stand, you can start to know what your ask is!

Know the talent processes

Secondly, I am often surprised when as a coach, someone tells me they want to be promoted but yet have not investigated the formal talent processes at their firm. It is important to know what you have to do to be in the running as sometimes there is formal nomination and that can form the very basis for the plan that will take you to the next level. You can tell HR or your boss that you are interested in a long-term future there at your firm and therefore would like to know what you need to do to be considered for promotion. You can even request a specific timeline as the worst that can happen is that you tell you nothing, which is information in itself. Observe what behaviors and who gets rewarded at work as these are cultural norms that play a part in subjective talent processes in firms that are looser on their formal processes.

You can then focus your networking, and your work projects. When you are doing stretch assignments that matter, find ways to make sure others know as that is better than working yourself to the bone and expecting the reward on sheer volume of work alone.  Start having the right conversations with the right people, and if this sounds political then know that is how life implicitly works as men have meetings outside meetings all the time in the bathroom, bar, ballgame and the hallway. I sit in cafes a lot with my laptop and I hear men gossip about work even more than women do and they never say that other men are not competent, yet I hear women colleagues being undermined over coffee by women and men, sadly most days. The double bind of how you are darned if you do and darned if you don’t!

Other things to do in 2020 to get promoted

Thirdly in 2020, read the book by long-time collaborator and friend of theglasshammer Sara Canaday called “You, according to Them” that will help you understand that how you are perceived is just as important as who you actually are.

Lastly, to get promoted one of the best strategies is to get a coach. The FT just reported it’s the biggest thing so far in 2020 for career success and empirical evidence suggests randomized control tests showed that 85 per cent of coachees were better off than those in the control group,  not just in their own view, but also in the opinion of their line managers.

Hermina Ibarra’s latest work espouses coaching style for managers as the future. I believe her.

We walk the talk so call us for a complimentary chat about whether a coach can help you get what you want in 2020. Email nicki@theglasshammer.com as we have real life success stories for the past seven years of coaching VP, SVP, Managing Director and C-level women in the financial, professional and technology industries. Put coaching in the email subject line.

 

imposter syndrome insecure overachieverMy bet is that if you are reading this column you have either googled the words “imposter syndrome” or “insecure overachiever” at least once.

Maybe more than 50% of readers today might identify with all or some of the traits and behaviors that apply to insecure overachievers since people who read theglasshammer are seeking career advice, information or inspiration of some kind.

I can tell you that most of us are driven by something.

Fear of failure comes up a lot amongst highly successful executives and how could it not? The stakes are high and what got you to where you are is an individual mix of skills and behaviors purely contextual to your lived experiences in your organization. The culture that each firm and team embodies varies and evolves moment to moment and person to person but is very relevant to norming overwork as a good thing. But imagine what your life would be like if failure large or small was seen as a learning experience and not a devastating event?

Driven people are driven by something and it is not usually ambition for ambition’s sake, if you think for a second about that. Motivations behind all behaviors can be somewhat simplified by categorizing them into three summarized buckets that Socrates and then Plato spoke of much less concisely in The Republic:

1) Gain, or what’s in it for me?

2) Honor, such as high altruism traits or desire to leave a legacy work

3) Fear, or what will happen if I fail or do not do this

Many successful people in the world are insecure overachievers because always wanting better has given us great products and services and achievements as humans. No matter how you cut it, subjective judgment, and in this case your subjective judgment against yourself to believe there is a better product or version that you can produce next time, fuels innovation.

However, where hardworking, smart people fall under the insecure overachiever definition is when fear is extreme, almost all-consuming, and underlined by a feeling of permanent inadequacy despite having a range of actual significant achievements. “Work harder” is what people who suffer from this implicitly tell themselves. And in a world of more is more for work in many industries the norm is to put in long hours and show commitment, so discovering this issue may be harder than for people who work in very balanced, life- and family-centric societies.

Imposter syndrome fits here too when fear includes a feeling of secret shame of not being good enough and shows up as fear of being found out as a fraud. Usually, this comes with a feeling of needed external validation as the person cannot validate themselves. The person can feel anxious and unhappy no matter how many advanced degrees completed with honors and jobs they have excelled at. No matter how much money they earn or amazing projects they have completed, they can only see the future challenge in future time and cannot enjoy their past achievements or present successes.

If any of this sounds familiar, it is entirely important to get to the root cause of why you feel how you feel. It is usually sitting in your subconscious as a construct or several constructs that have formed into a belief.

Here is what you need to do:

1) Decide if you want to change from a stressed-out, unhappy ?insecure overachiever? or someone who doesn?t belong or deserve their success.

2) Get a goal, such as ?be more content with my work achievements? or ?look at balance of my entire life, not just work? or ?get healthy mentally and physically in 2020.?

3) Work on awareness and making explicit to yourself what you tell yourself when you indulge in some self-deprecation (and not the modest, historically British kind).

4) Read ?Immunity to Change? which provides a great model for practical use around seeing what hidden competing agendas you might be carrying around that are thwarting your goal of being more sustainable and satisfied.

5) Call me and sign up for a coaching pack of 5 sessions to support and facilitate this work. As a coach who has written a paper at Columbia University on how goal setting is derailed by the subconscious, I can help you.

Ready to start? Book your first coaching session here for 90 minutes (pay online) and get started on the mental debris so that you enter 2020 in a new mindset with a real plan.

Or book a free 15-minute exploratory call here to see if this is for you.

 

Nicki GilmourIt may sound crazy and slightly anxiety-inducing at a time when you have enough to fit in to your busy life, but it might just serve you well to review last year’s goals now.

Why? Firstly, you can review how you did against those espoused goals. If the answer to that is “not great” then you have a massive opportunity to ask yourself “What matters now?”

You can start to work towards a 30-day plan to really address whatever you still care about.

Secondly, before entering the season where you can feel as tired and pushed and possibly partied out as any other time in the year (referring to entertaining family more than swinging from the chandeliers), give yourself mental room to think. Even if that only means that it gives you a head start on thinking what will make it into 2020’s goals. A plan for the plan if you will. Reflecting before formulating those January 1st ideas might give you the mindfulness you need to get what you really want.

Think holistically, what do you need for every area of your life to feel good in 2020? So many of us reading this site (and writing it) are hard-charging overachievers. Work and career is front and center. Take a moment to think about how you would like your life to look a year from now. How will you have spent your time? What will have changed? What will you have done more of? And less of?

What worked this year and what have you simply outgrown? What will it take to let go of that habit that isn’t serving you? Ask yourself: what do you have to gain by spending your time/energy/sanity/money elsewhere?

If you would like to go into 2020 with a coach on your side, we are offering a coaching deal of five (60 mins) sessions for the price of four (phone/video), if you sign up between now and thanksgiving to start in January. Book with Nicki Gilmour and start making your 2020 a year that changes everything.

Nicki GilmourIt’s not you, it’s them. Finding the right cultural fit at work is key.

How many times have you seen a high performer move firms and just not do so well? That person has not lost their talent or work ethic, nor has their personality changed. The environment or ecosystem in which they are operating has changed and it is organizational culture (or team culture for that matter) which makes or breaks successful female and male executives at work.

Organizational culture is quite simply about “how do we do things around here? How does work get done?” and spotting it can be easier said than done. Having recently read a couple of pieces on how you know when you have taken the wrong job, including a humorous one by Liz Ryan, I wanted to supply you with six tips to help you understand how work gets done before you say yes to the job (get the offer, or close to the offer, before you ask, perhaps?):

#1 Ask what gets tolerated that shouldn’t in the team
#2 Ask what a high performer looks like
#3 Ask who the high performers are (clue: if they rattle off only men’s names and there are plenty of women on the team, that should be further investigated)
#4 Ask what the leader’s strategic vision is and how that is being executed by this team specifically?
#5 Ask if they could change one thing for the team to be even better than it is, what would that be?
#6 Ask how closely the team operates to the firm values regarding policies that matter to you such as remote working, flex time, parental leave, taking vacation, etc.

You might be surprised at the answers. And, of course, hear what they are saying, not what you think you want to hear!

If you would like to have Nicki Gilmour or one of theglasshammer vetted coaches as your coach, schedule an exploratory call here!

Nicki Gilmour
Stop doing things at work that don’t work. Heard this before?

Has anyone told you to quit unproductive habits, or even quit your job? Well, today we are going to talk about not quitting.  At least, when you shouldn’t.

How many of us quit at the wrong time? When the going gets tough? The other side of the coin is that so many more do not quit something when we should ( job, project, partner, habit etc.) to do something better that we do not know exists yet.

Beyond being a coach and keeping my knowledge up to par, I love reading good personal and professional development books. I can be found having a little peace away from the madding crowd on the floor of a Barnes and Noble in summer months when work is less crazy. Air conditioning an added bonus. Recently, I picked up Seth Godin’s “the dip: a little book that teaches you when to quit (and when to stick)” and it resonated deeply for this column and the career advice I offer. Seth has a great blog too and this book is based on this blog “The four curves of want and get.”

Basically, the dip, according to Seth, is the moment we want to quit in the hard bit. This means when we feel exhausted or frustrated in our career, working out, or trying to learn new skills generally. Sometimes, things get hard, setbacks happen. No new news there, but why this book is a good and quick read (but gender bias in his examples at every turn in the book with implicit assumptions around the best being portrayed as a man continually is my only critique of an otherwise fabulous read), is that it compels you to think about why you quit when you do.

What is worth pushing through to the other side?

This little gem of a book talks about what criteria can be created to give yourself the permission to quit for the right reasons and at the right time. Invaluable.

Why is it that some of us don’t quit when we should?  When there is a dead end or a cliff that ultimately creates a downfall or loss for us in some way?

It got me thinking about so many of the people I coach.

It is my opinion that we are all in a state of quitting, we just do not know it. Much like Steven Covey’s identified habit of ‘begin with the end in mind’ in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, success often comes with an exit strategy or a desired outcome.

We might be at the start of the curve and full of enthusiasm. But, over time it is inevitable that we are fighting entropy, boredom or irrelevance unless we find new ways to do things. We should know our mission and our end goal but change the product, tactic, approach where necessary, quit those things, but not the stuff that makes us great and makes us happy.

Seth Godin agrees, “The best quitters are those who decide to quit in advance, not because of panic or momentary dip. When you are being asked to settle for less, compromise or drop out, your desire to quit should be at its lowest. If it’s the easiest time to give up that is not the time to give up. “

He continues, “Strategic quitting is a conscious decision you make based on the choices that are available to you. If you realize you are at a dead end compared to what you could be investing in, quitting is not a reasonable choice, it’s a smart one.”

You should quit when you are facing a cliff or a dead end. Forget pride, sunken costs, quit when you know you can do better or be better or have more of what you want.

What is the bigger picture?

So, the message here is don’t quit your job if there is still value to you in the firm or industry, quit the way you do your job or quit the team or manager or even the firm. But, know what you want and need to know what you have to do to get it.

Need help figuring this all out? Work with a career coach – schedule a free exploratory chat to see if coaching is for you with Nicki Gilmour here.

If getting promoted at work is on your goal list for the rest of the year, or part of early ruminations for a new year resolution for next year, how then can you do your best to achieve your goal?

How To Get PromotedHere are some things to consider:

1. Do you know what the formal promotional process is? Are you in it? What do you need to do criteria wise to get into it? Who drives it in your firm? What roles respectively do your boss(es) and HR play? What other stakeholders are important?

2. What job do you want? Do you want to take the next promotional step as defined by the company? If so, great, take time to understand the competencies needed to make the leap – both hard skills and behaviors. All jobs have tasks that we prefer over other tasks. Be honest with yourself, how strategically important are the tasks that you are avoiding and how will that impact you when being considered for the promotion?

3. If you do not want the linear next step, think about what you like doing, with who and why you enjoy it. This is a great way to distill what would be a good expansion of your role or even a lateral or a non-linear upward move to a different department. Then, work with your sponsor, boss and HR to craft your path.

4. Culturally, take a long hard look at what behaviors get rewarded at your firm. Do they equally get rewarded no matter what gender you are? What flies? What does not get tolerated? What grabs senior management’s attention? This is an important analysis to do as these data points are all keys to seeing what the future could look like so that you can proactively manage your career, every step of the way.

If you would like to work with an executive coach on navigating the terrain, schedule a free exploratory chat with Nicki Gilmour here.

People leave jobs for many reasons.

Is it time to change jobs, change firms or leave the industry? (F)However, the more senior you are in the organization and the longer you have been there, the psychological grip on you to stay there is usually higher. You might tell yourself you are staying for practical reasons like bonuses or vested equity or deferred comp. All of these are valid for sure but really how much money are we talking and have you looked at how that money can be cashed in even if you do stay or leave?

Are you using that as an excuse to mask a deeper fear of the unknown? If you have been at a place for over ten years, it is totally normal to think about how could you possibly find a new job in a different firm and question what would that be like, culturally.

How do you know if you are ready for a change?

Hermina Ibarra provides an excellent survey in her amazing book “Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader” (I recommend it to my coaching clients regulary)

Have a go at answering the questions with a yes or a no.

  1. Have you been in the same job or career path for at least seven years?
  2. Do you find yourself restless professionally?
  3. Do you find your job more draining than energizing?
  4. Do you resent not having more time for outside interests or family?
  5. Do you have a changing family configuration that will allow you to explore other options?
  6. Are you admiring folks around you who are making big changes?
  7. Has your work lost some meaning for you?
  8. Do you find that your career ambitions are changing?
  9. Recent events have left me appraising what I really want?
  10. Do you find your enthusiasm has waned for your work projects?

If you got 6-10 yeses then you could already be deeply in a career-transitioning period. Make time to reflect on your goals and see if your life goals are evolving also.

If you got 3-5 yeses then you may be entering a career-transitioning period. Work to increase insights and “outsights” which are new horizons that appear from doing new things and meeting new people.

If you got 2 or less yeses then you are more likely to be in a career-building period in your current job so you are busy working on
developing within that role, team or firm.

If you would like to work with Nicki Gilmour as your coach, you can have a free complementary call to discuss what is on your mind and to see if there is a fit and see if coaching is for you. Book your preliminary meeting with Nicki here.

Nicki GilmourCompanies downsize and restructure, and if you are reading this from a seat in the financial services industry then you know that this cycle is probably about to start soon if you haven’t already seen some movement on this already.

If your company is downsizing and you got a tap on the shoulder informing you that your team is being consolidated and there is no place for you or, in a more extreme fashion, they even marched you out of the building, then what should you do? Recover.

You are faced with choices, albeit unconscious sometimes, of how to recover and to move on and up to bigger and better. This is an opportunity. Frame it that way, do not take it personally.

Yes, there are many emotions and thoughts involved with this type of situation. The best thing you can do is let go of any negative emotion (anger, bitterness, etc.) and list what you enjoyed most and what you enjoyed least about both the job itself and the company culture. This will help you figure out what is next for you, professionally!

If you have any kind of financial cushion, make a promise to yourself that you will not make rash decisions and instead take the time to reflect on what you really want to do next.

What do you really want? More satisfaction, more time, more flexibility, more money, a different title, a different industry? What do you want less of? What is on your “should” list?  Defining that is a great way to purge what you think you have to do, as opposed to want you actually want to do.

These are all elements that you can now think about as maybe it is time to go up the ladder or take a lateral move?  Either way, now is ultimately an ideal time to figure out what you want and what works for you at this juncture as last time you interviewed for a job, you might have been in a different place in your life. Not least, you have a chance to think about your enhanced skillset since that last time around.

If you need a coach to help you navigate what is next, we offer coaching services and you can have a free exploratory call to see if coaching is for you with Nicki Gilmour, head of theglasshammer and certified coach by booking a time here. 

By Nicki Gilmour

Nicki GilmourMany people, despite having amazing experience in their career, have anxiety when writing their resume.

Especially if they have not had the resume out in circulation for a while or have always gotten a job via their network.

There are certainly rules of the road and I enjoyed this article on the practical things to do when prepping your resume. But, the bigger issue is why is putting together your resume such a big deal for most of us? Or, rather, a task we would really like to put off until we really have to do it?

I think the intense focus I have observed in my coaching clients who are thinking of moving jobs, and therefore have the question of a resume update, is very much linked with having to feel perfect. It makes sense to feel vulnerable to rejection as we put ourselves out there after many years at a firm. And so many of us reading this are overachievers, but some of us are what is known as ‘insecure overachievers’ whereby we strive for the best for our own validation and we are very hard on ourselves. We can go overboard when we just need to step back and think “What is my career narrative? What do I do well that I want to continue doing?” and finally “What context is provided for this next potential job that I can take my vast experience and apply specifically to it in a version?”

Ultimately, the person reviewing your resume probably doesn’t know you well. Make it easy for them to understand the story so far.

Taking my own advice to show you how we fall in the pitfalls.

As a coach when I am often asked to review my client’s resume to which I say:

“I am happy to do that with the caveat that that I am not a resume expert.”

Now, the coach here has to take her own medicine as I just did and continue to do is what so many really talented women do, negate actual experience with self-deprecating self talk de-authorizing ourselves from the job.

What did I do? I had a thought that led to a familiar personal (and cultural, hello Brits!) behavior.

The truth is, I am actually pretty qualified to look at resumes as I have seen many since I was head of efinancialcareers back in the early job board days and launched the product from one job posting and one resume up. I have run start ups and hired probably 100 people myself with a resume as the starting point. I am an executive coach who has seen probably 100 resumes this year!

See how I just put out to the world that somehow I could not help them with this simple task? I did not think about what I could do in terms of what I have done quite formally and informally for the past fifteen years.

How does this play out in your story? Has your brain gotten so used to a task that you have told yourself that somehow something you do very often and well, isn’t a skill? The narrative we tell the world can be very different to what we have actually got experience in. We think of who we are through the lens of the narrative we have been telling ourselves very often.

The coaching process will be a distilling process for you to know who you are, what you want, what mental models are stopping you such as confidence, avoidance, fear of rejection or being seen as x, y or z only as examples.

You are in charge of your story and coaching can help figure out how to tell it. You have the answers, let me bring the questions.

If you are interested in a free exploratory chat to understand if coaching is for you, and to find out more about how Nicki works ( methodology, price etc) and to see if there is a fit, book a call here.