Coming Out, Connecting and Finding Allies

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LGBT flag featuredBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

This week and this month on theglasshammer.com we are celebrating LGBT women at work and the Allies that champion and support them. We do this series every year in June since we aim to inspire professional women at work and if you are a gay woman and are out or thinking about coming out then we want to make sure you know you are not the only lesbian executive around. Much like the broader mission of theglasshammer.com, our career advice today in this column is to help you find sponsors, mentors and champions so that you can build your network and connect with people who can ultimately help you. To connect with anyone, both parties need to know a little about each other and build a little trust and that is the number one reason to come out at work. Studies show that if you are not able to bring your full self to work then it is going to be harder to perform, engage and generally stay motivated.

Theglasshammer and our consulting arm Evolved Employer did comprehensive research back in 2012 in both NY and London with LGBT women and one of the conclusions was sometimes it is gender bias that is still preventing us from advancing than our LGBT status. Read the US and the UK research here- some nuances to think about.

I also did a piece of work with my a colleague Dr. Frank Golom at a leading Fortune 100 firm on stereotype threat for LGBT people at work (read about that here) and a major career strategy that we recommend from the research is that you need to make sure people know who you are and what you can do at work instead of any preconceived notions they might have. They have these notions for many reasons ( such as the media portrayals, narrow experience of actual gay people or knowing one gay woman and then thinking every other gay person they meet is the same and gender role conformity expectations depending on how you show up on the expression spectrum). Sure, it can be super tedious to educate others all day, every day, but to some extent everyone has to do it albeit, the more non-dominant social identities you have the more it seems you have to educate.

Career advice? Seek out internal and external networking groups if you feel like it will help you formally and informally. It is not for everyone, just as not everyone wants to join a women’s network but if you like to share experiences and seek situational advice from people who have been there then it could be a good fit. Out Leadership have recently formed a women’s group headed up by Stephanie Sandberg. Out and Equal are a fabulous resource also and there are many other groups (GWN and Stonewall in London for example) that host events and get togethers. Many firms have LGBTQIA networks You might find a mentor or at the very least friendship there and remember the A stands for Allies and Allies can sponsor and champion you in your career. We help develop LGBTA networks as well as women’s networks from mission to structure to actual content so contact us if you are leading one or are trying to start one at your firm.

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com if you wish to hire an executive coach to help you navigate your career

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Making sure you are in the running for a promotion

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women shaking handsIf you are lucky enough to work for a really great company that has a robust, unbiased, transparent talent process then you can probably skip this post. But wait, not so fast, how can you tell if your firm is good at ensuring that the best talent regardless of any other factor gets promoted?

I can think of three ways to heighten your chances

  • Ask what the process is
  • Ask what you have to do specifically to get to the next level/beyond
  • Make sure you have sponsors to broaden and deepen your portfolio of work because women still mostly get promoted on past performance as opposed to some men truly get promoted on what others think they will be capable of growing into (future potential not fact- yes this still happens)

Here is the kicker. I have done several consulting projects with women’s networks and I even wrote a Masters thesis at Columbia University on how networks can be formally connected to the talent process (sadly, often they are not related to a direct promotional path and interestingly this if often due to the resistance of the women inside the network-which in part is often due to the reason the network exists is to provide a container for shared experiences). So, if you want your membership of a network to be part of your strategy to advance, then make sure it is doing that and ways to tangibly use it include access to senior management, find a sponsor and more that we have covered in the past 4-5 weeks in this column.

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com if you would like to hire a coach to help you navigate your career

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How networks can increase motivation, well-being and even increase performance

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Professional-networking-advice featuredLast week we talked about how having psychological safety at work is a key to feeling happy and performing well. We have also talked about employees networks recently and there is a case to say that the two are connected and if you can find support and connection here, then why not join one? They could be good for the soul and tangibly useful for tips to advance and a place to find mentors and sponsors. Maybe chatting with peers around a number of subjects will be valuable to you, ranging from social matters such as juggling parental/elder care commitments to a specific project that you want to talk more about. Either way, networks create space and time to talk in, learn in and connect with others in.

It is worth noting three things about networks though. Firstly, not everyone is created with the same amount of desire for contact and affiliation and it is wrong to assume that your need to feel part of something is equal to the next person. As an executive coach, I firmly believe that you should know yourself first ( psychometric tests will help us give your data back to you on this matter).
Secondly, it is also wrong to assume that all women are this or that. We are individuals with varying degrees of extraversion, confidence etc just as men are. What is systemic are the assumptions around what we are however and that is where you get to choose how to fill in the gaps when people think they know you. Remember you, according to you and you according to them are sometimes distant cousins.

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com if you would like to hire a coach to help you navigate your career

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How do you become an inclusive manager? Create Psychological Safety for your Team

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diverse workforce featuredSeveral years ago diversity became diversity and inclusion. What does this mean? Well I am not going to lie, for most firms even if they have it in the title of a department, it means nothing just another buzzword.. If it is done properly however, inclusion is the most powerful tool a leader or manager can have in their toolkit because it can provide something that is the basis for individual and team performance. How do you become an inclusive leader , manager or person? Psychological safety at work- yes that’s right and studies have been exploring this for years, as has Google more recently with something they call Project Aristotle. They discovered that just by having a genius or two on the team, you are not going to get the best results. However if you have a team environment where people can feel, as well as think and be themselves (expressing themselves is really key here and being heard) then no matter who is on the team, the result is productivity. There are many factors to high performing teams for sure but Google’s data indicated that psychological safety, more than anything else, was critical to making a team work. This certainly makes sense if you think about it. Women (and anyone who does not fit the mold of the traditional work persona /expert) can find space to connect with others talking work and/or any other topic of shared interest.

So, let people talk, let them tell you about their lives and let them flow. For some of us (I know I am guilty of this) like to stay on task and to draw boundaries around topics when digression and tangents feel out of control, but maybe, just maybe try out this way of being in your next meeting.

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist.

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com if you would like to hire a coach to help you navigate your career

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4 Reasons to get involved in your women’s network (or other Employee Resource Group at work)

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Professional-networking-advice featuredLast week, I rather scathingly pointed out that taking on the responsibility to hire and promote women via your women’s network was to put it diplomatically, a long haul strategy.

This week I am going to outline what you should do in your network (and why you should join it)

  1. Advocacy is a powerful tool- advocating for an issue to be paid attention to is often where change starts. Advocating for others is powerful also (sponsorship) and finally advocating for yourself is crucial, raise you hand and put yourself out there for the next promotion or job.
  2. Personal visibility and access to people you would not otherwise have access to (this is a way to start a conversation with senior people)
  3. Networking with each other – peer, higher and reverse mentoring and connections are always a good thing to propel you forward in everyday work – knowing who to ask to get stuff done is what it is all about.
  4. Learning in a specific container creates mental and physical space, hence we hold panels at theglasshammer.com where people can mark time in their calendar to learn new insights.

More on this all summer long.

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Want To Help With Diversity Issues At Work? Make Leaders Address Them

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diverse workforce featuredI consult to many women’s networks and Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) and one of the most consistent issues that I encounter is that women often assemble these groups’ work in a vacuum and they self organize because they see organizational barriers and biases. They do not form because they have excessive time on their hands and how leaders fail to see this is often astounding to me. If people formed due to product dissatisfaction, I am pretty sure bosses would question the product not the legitimacy of the group or worse just ignore them.

So, what am I saying here? I am saying there are several reasons to get involved in a network/ERG and advocacy is an extremely effective strategy as is sponsorship (which we will discuss in another post) but do not confuse thinking you as a group have the authority to change the hiring or advancement of women directly as it is an indirect power at best. In any role, you should only accept responsibility for a task that you have the authority to execute on.

I hope this has got you thinking and comments are welcomed. Such a big topic and we shall explore the individual benefits of being part of an ERG all summer but also be wise enough to know when you are being tasked with something that the talent management group along with the organization’s leadership need to address.

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com if you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work

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Change Yourself to Change the World

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Managing ChangeChange is pretty top of mind this week at theglasshammer.com as we prepare for our panel discussion tomorrow as part of our 5th Annual Navigating Your Career event ( no seats left, sorry!). The topic is “So, you want to be a change leader?” and we will chat with our panelists on how they have affected change when it comes to succeeding personally and improving things for people around them.

This is very close to my heart as I undertook a Change Leadership masters at Columbia University in the City of New York (I highly recommend this course to all executives, it is life changing. ) and a big part of the work we did there was using ourselves as tools of change by first understanding who we were, where are biases lie and looking at our appetite for challenging the status quo. That is what change work is! And you would be amazed at the levels of denial most people have around what constructs we all collude to keep in place.

So, start with you. Don’t say you want to have more diverse people in your team and then hire a man, don’t constantly look to men as the authorized experts on every topic and don’t discount yourself as the expert either. If you have got it, flaunt it as so many women I know are less aware than they should be off how equally or possibly more skilled they are than other counterparts yet are happy to defer to them.

Ultimately, it is about owning your influence to effect change!

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com if you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work

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Why Working For a Good Company Makes a Big Difference

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happy man with womenI coach women across many firms, most in the financial services industry and most in a variety of roles and although there are very individual reasons why people come to me for coaching ranging from wanting to leave to wanting to stay and get a promotion and sometimes when they have been a casualty of a restructure. While the old adage “people leave managers not firms” is definitely true, I have to say that I more and more see people leaving companies due to the fact they just do not believe that they are getting the best ROI for their time and energy spent. For years, we were told that women do not ask for promotions and pay increases and this is frankly nonsense as they are asking in various ways but sometimes just not being heard due to systemic issues at companies that are less evolved.

In short, working for a progressive company makes all the difference as the water is provided for the fish of all types and no one is left grasping for basic air supply.

If you are looking to go further then consider getting a coach. Not all are created equal and I would recommend people with coaching certificates from good universities or else coaches with an organizational psychology background as they can help you spot the company’s good points and flaws on a systemic level so we are not just telling you to lean in. Isn’t it time that the companies leaned in?

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com if you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work

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Is it time for a vacation?

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Beach-chairsAre you feeling overworked and not as productive as usual? Maybe it’s time for a vacation.

Science indicates that breaks help increase productivity and whilst short breaks during your working day may improve concentration, longer breaks and vacations can improve overall job performance. They help improve the state of our mental health by giving us better life perspective and making us more motivated to achieve our goals when we return to work.

So, my advice this week is to take more vacations, as recharging your batteries can make you more productive! On that note, whilst I’m on vacation in Florida, Career Tip will return next week.

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com if you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work

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Power – How Do You Feel About This Word?

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POWER featuredI often run psychometric tests on my coaching clients to find out with some hard data how they are motivated and driven at work. More often than not, my clients come back with varying levels of ambition and varying levels of the need for power.

Power is sometimes seen as a dirty word for women and many will tell you that they do not want it (even if their data says otherwise), yet power is really just another word for authority and control over what you are responsible for delivering. You should want some power, as otherwise you might find you lack the resources to follow through on your remit.

Own your personal power as you see fit, but at work it is equally important to ensure your authority to execute on a task is aligned with the level of responsibility you have to see it all get done!

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Contact nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com if you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work

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