7 Tips All Businesswomen Need to Conquer the Fear of Public Speaking

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Guest contributed by Fiona CuttsWomen Speaking

Being able to speak confidently and well in public is essential for any ambitious woman looking to advance her position and career prospects. And yet, statistics show that 74% of people are afraid of public speaking and so, unlikely to perform at their best.

Here are some proven strategies for overcoming this fear, and allowing public speaking to be one of your strengths for excelling in your career.

Deal with nerves

You may feel overpowered by these sensations: sweaty palms, sickness in your stomach and even shaking hands, legs, and voice that your audience may notice. These are familiar feelings that even the most successful, powerful businesswomen will experience, and like them, it is something you can learn to combat strategically.

Whilst standing in front of your audience, plant your feet firmly on the ground, quite far apart, and breathe deeply into your abdomen. This allows you to be present and stable.

At the same time expand your awareness outwards so that you are aware of what is going on beyond the audience and the room you are in. Doing this will help to prevent you feeling overwhelmed.

Appear confident

Even though you may feel afraid and nervous, your audience does not need to know that. Choose clothes that a confident woman giving this presentation would wear, even if that feels a bit of a stretch for you. ‘Practise’ wearing these clothes outside of your work environment, whether you’re out with girlfriends or spending time with family, so that you become at ease in them. As you become comfortable wearing them, you become the confident woman you envisaged giving the talk.

Be the leader in the room

Undermining your abilities and shying away from any show of strength is a detrimental stereotype for women that is often hard to navigate. Remember that you are the one who is up front. So, you need to be the authority in the room and not be afraid to take control. Of course, you will be well prepared, that goes without saying. But beyond that, you need to be willing to be an authority on your subject, whilst including and empowering people in the audience.

Great female leaders are clear about what they know, whilst not feeling threatened by other people contributing what they know. Women looking to advance their career should seek advice from female colleagues or friends on ways they were able to take charge and assert their authority while delivering a speech – it’s vital to remember that looking to other women, particularly those in a higher position to that of yourself, for support and guidance can help you on your journey to advancing your career.

Connect with your audience

Often when people are nervous speaking, it is hard for the audience to engage with them, and sometimes even hard for the audience to hear them.

Sometimes, in an effort to avoid this, you can come across ‘pushy’, literally pushing the words and information at the audience. This tends to make the audience resistant and maybe even ‘zone out’.

An effective alternative to this is to ‘pull energy’. Many great female speakers and performers do this naturally. You can imagine a thread of energy coming from your audience, through your audience, through you and to behind you. This helps your audience feel connected to you and drawn into what you are saying. It also tends to mean they feel awake, alert and enthusiastic – which of course is what you would like them to be experiencing during your presentation or speech.

Keep it short and sweet

There is no need to tell your audience everything about your topic. Give them a base level of information, enough that they can understand what you are talking about but also so they are intrigued and wanting to know more. This provides you with an opportunity to shine even more and opens a dialogue between you and your audience, ensuring they are more engaged and interested in what you are talking about.

You can also ask a simple question to allow you to know what information to include and what to leave out: “What can I say that would enthuse this audience?” When you ask this, you start to get pointers as to what is appropriate for your intended audience.

Be you

This may at first sound strange and yet a lot of people stop being themselves when they give a presentation. They may find that they start to sound dry and boring, a bit like a textbook or that they suddenly have some mannerisms and habits of their mother or father.

If you notice this happening, simply ask yourself: “Who am I being?” It will bring you back to you and let the confident woman you know you are, shine.

Don’t be afraid of judgement

If you give a good talk, you are likely to be judged by a certain proportion of people in the room. As women, we’ve certainly experienced judgement, and even been guilty of judging others, at some point or another. Women can also often be judged when they excel in industries dominated by men. Your ability to receive this judgement will determine whether you continue to excel or choose to limit your success to provoke less judgement!

Judgement is always about the other person and never about you. It often means that the other person is not achieving what they desire, and is jealous of you and your great presentation.

So, know that the more successful you are, the more likely you are to be judged. You can even make the choice to view judgement as a motivator to fuel a decision to challenge your position and traditional dynamics in a male-dominated workplace, ask for that raise or promotion you know you deserve, or take charge during meetings and presentations more.

Putting these simple tips into practice will help you tackle the fear that many women assume is an integral part of public speaking, and be the successful businesswoman you desire and deserve to be.

About Fiona Cutts

Fiona Cutts is a communications coach, linguist and facilitator for Right Voice for You, a special program by Access Consciousness. An extremely shy and dreamy child, Fiona found herself drawn to languages and travel from a very young age. As well as her native English, she speaks German and French, and has lived in, or travelled through, countries all over the world. During her career as an accountant and auditor, Fiona struggled with an intense fear of public speaking and presentation delivery. As a Right Voice for You facilitator, she draws upon that experience to help others liberate themselves from fear and judgment, and unleash their confident and authentic voice. www.fionacutts.com

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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How to Trot Not Plod Through the Year of the Dog

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

The Year of the Rooster is over and the Year of the Dog is beginning in the Chinese (lunar) New Year. So, if January did not feel as good as you would have liked it to, or if you are now ready to get what you want, or at least have a good shot at figuring out what that might be, then you are in the right place.

Ask yourself these five questions:

1. How energized am I on the project I am on right now?
2. What is it that made my best time at work so great?
3. What could be changed to make work great?
4. What do I want out of 2018 at work?
5. How can I get it?

It is important to know what is going on with yourself and to know what the external factors are that make you happy at work.

if you would like to work with a coach on exploring questions, answers, dynamics and getting from here to there, then we have a team here that can help.

Contact Nicki (nicki@evolvedpeople.com) for a free 15 minute exploratory call around challenges and pathways.

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Bonus Banked? What’s Next?

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Bonus season is over for another year and so the should I stay or should I go question could loom again for you?

Chances are, if you work in banking and financial services, you stayed put until this payday. But, with a year ahead, its a good time to look at what makes you happy at your job, beyond the money.

If the bonus was good, this can make you stay for a little while longer even if you know you need something different. Money is always a factor, but look at culture, growth opportunities and ultimately the job you want to actually do.

Dream a little, scribble and journal- what do you want more of? What do you want less of? Just what would the ideal job look like for you? What are the other lifestyle based factors that you want to have more of? More travel? Less travel? Less of a commute? Picasso, it is your picture, don’t forget that!

Good luck!

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Black History Month and Your Role in Helping Others

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Black History Month is about celebrating amazing people of color.

For us on theglasshammer.com we celebrate women of color and all types of women all year long but we do recognize that intersectionality is real (simply put, being a woman with another social identity that is “other”, or from the historically non majority group.)

Do a network audit- is there only one type of person in your network? If this cuts along the lines of social identity (gender, ethnicity, LGBT status, class, nationality etc) then make a conscious effort to go to lunch with someone different to you. If you only eat lunch with white women and white men (and you are a white women) then what are you missing? How can you sponsor and advocate women of color on your team? How can you mentor and be mentored by a person of color?

If you are a woman of color reading this column, how can you stay authentic and not assimilate ?

All of these discussions are of course theory and make assumptions that all white women are one way and all women of color are another, which we work very hard on theglasshammer to dispel such stereotypes.

So, go have multiple conversations with people who have had a different journey to you and just listen with an open mind and open heart, because this is how we learn.

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Do More of What You Like Doing at Work (and What You Get Paid For)

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

All jobs have tasks that we prefer over other tasks.

Be honest with yourself, how strategically important are the tasks that you are avoiding? If they rank highly either for your current role or as a development skill, then consider setting time aside formally in your calendar to undertake them on a regular basis as habit can be a great way to embrace them.

What are you recognized and rewarded for?

Are you experiencing task creep?

Have a look (or make a list) of what you do every day for a period of a week to see what is officially within your remit and what creeps in there. It might be illuminating to see how you are paid for driving the train but also at times asked tolay the track, clean the engine etc which is time consuming and often not conducive to your time management or skill set.

Contact nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com is you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work.

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Becoming a High Performer – Stress Recovery and Renewal Matters!

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

As ambitious, hard working women, we are often not satisfied about what we have achieved at work.

We often feel insecure about giving less than 150% at work for fear of losing ground. And, the truth is, most of us work in very competitive industries that require us to be present for long hours, to travel and to take on massive amounts of responsibility. Would we have it any other way? My guess is if you are reading the glasshammer.com, you are interested in hearing how to have more of everything and have it right now!

However, research shows that sustainable high performance requires the executive to harness stress adequately with the right amount of pace and rest for stress recovery. Doing what you love means being well enough to do it. You are human. No matter how good the set up is at the office and at home, chances are you are a little stressed and a little exhausted. Throw kids in the mix and downtime to recover disappears further.

It is time to talk about that while growth is important in climbing the ladder and breaking the ceiling, renewal is even more important so that you can continue to high perform, learn and grow.

Staying well physically and mentally is now something more and more companies are paying attention to. Executives who understand their own sustainability are more likely to avoid burnout and have better longevity in their careers.

Stress also affects how you show up as a team member, manager or leader. Behaviorally, when under stress, most of us have shortcomings from being snappy, to avoidance of issues that need to be addressed. When you do not realize the stress, as it becomes normalized, then you equally might accept your less than optimal behaviors as normal too.

We have developed a group coaching program for high performing talent, and “insecure overachievers” that creates awareness of how stress is effecting your performance and ultimately hindering your development as an executive. By understanding your own neuroscience and your actual data you can understand how to make real change for your mental and physical health.

We are running a virtual cohort where people are matched in pods to work on sustainable high performance.

If you are “high performing talent” and likely to make Managing Director in the next 12 months then this group could be for you.

There is a cost for the 5 month program and it includes psychometric tests, individual and group coaching.

Write to nicki@evolvedpeople.com if you are interested in being considered for this cohort or to schedule a call to discuss this program for your company.

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Undervaluing Yourself? Here’s How to Make Sure You Get What You Deserve

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Guest contributed by Karen Schoenbarthappy man with women

Do you routinely undervalue your professional worth? Are you afraid to step up and take on new challenges or ask for a promotion or raise because you aren’t sure you’ve earned them? If so, you are definitely not alone.

“Imposter Syndrome” is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. It refers to high-achieving individuals who can’t internalize their accomplishments and persistently fear being exposed as a fraud. According to a recent study in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, up to 70 percent of people feel this way.

The funny thing about Imposter Syndrome is that sufferers are almost always able to meet the requirements of their job, so their fears are actually unwarranted. Nevertheless, overcoming these fears isn’t easy. Follow these steps to gain confidence that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Set goals for what you want to do and focus on achieving those things.
  • Do an honest evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses. While everyone focuses on fixing the weaknesses, also focus on building up and honing your strengths.
  • Find people who believe in you both personally and professionally and reach out to them for support.
  • When you receive a compliment, don’t negate it or deny it. Simply say, “thank you.”
  • Focus on helping others instead of yourself. As C.S. Lewis said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.”
  • Talk with people you respect to see if they share similar concerns. Work together to overcome them. Remember, even brilliant and famous people occasionally admit to feeling like frauds. Try to laugh about it.

Nothing Cures Imposter Syndrome Like Hard Proof

An especially critical strategy for overcoming Imposter Syndrome is to track your accomplishments and communicate them to the people who matter. It is not attractive to brag, of course, but sharing your positive results with your boss and other senior executives will encourage them to support and reward you. When this happens, you will naturally feel like less of an imposter.

It helps to be as proactive as possible, so start a file today. If you get an email from a colleague or a client thanking you or complimenting something you’ve done, add it to the file. If you’ve been given specific goals or objectives, keep them handy and work the list—ensuring you are addressing everything on it. If you need help to accomplish a specific goal, ask. For example, if your boss said you need to hone your presentation skills but you haven’t had a chance to present anything, ask if there is an assignment that will afford you the opportunity. It’s fine to reference your objective and the desire to accomplish it.

A few notes of caution. Your file of accomplishments should be long and comprehensive, but beware of overkill when talking to your manager about them – even if you feel Imposter Syndrome getting the best of you. Choose examples from the file that demonstrate your mastery of a specific task or skill. These examples can also be used when meeting with other senior people in your company or a new manager who can benefit from learning what you have been working on.

Careful tracking and strategic communication will ensure that you have an excellent business case to ask for a promotion or raise, and will hopefully assuage your fears. But what if the worst happens? What if you swallow your apprehension, ask, and are denied anyway? How can you keep from undervaluing yourself then? First, make sure you understand the reasons for the decision. Are there softer skills you are missing, such as communicating tactfully or being assertive in meetings? Ask for specific examples of what you need that you are not currently demonstrating. If nothing is missing, inquire about what is holding you back. A lack of positions at the next level is sometimes a legitimate issue, so you may need to be patient.

Don’t Undervalue Your Offerings Either

A corollary to Imposter Syndrome is underestimating the value of your products or services. Here, you should remember that when you provide something that meets a need of your client or customer, you cannot be afraid to be compensated for it. Have pride in your offering, and know exactly how your client or customer’s life or business will improve as a result of having it. Be willing to walk away, but keep in mind that there are times you might want to be more flexible. For example, you might decrease your price in order to protect an important, long-term relationship. A negotiation that ends in a win/win will reduce your self-doubt and keep you from falling victim to Imposter Syndrome in the future.

Adapted with permission of the publisher, Motivational Press, Inc., from MOM.B.A. Essential Business Advice from One Generation to the Next 
by Karyn Schoenbart with Alexandra Levit.  Copyright (c) 2017 by Karyn Schoenbart. All rights reserved. https://www.amazon.com/Mom-B-Essential-Business-Advice-Generation/dp/1628654597

About the author

KARYN SCHOENBART, author of MOM.B.A. is CEO of The NPD Group, a global provider of information and advisory services to many of the world’s leading brands. She has over 30 years of experience in the market research field, with expertise in identifying and developing new business opportunities and client partnerships.

Schoenbart was named one of the Top 25 Most Influential Women of the Mid-Market by the CEO Connection. She is also the recipient of the Long Island Brava Award, which recognizes high-impact female business leaders, and the Legacy Award from Women in Consumer Technology. Schoenbart is passionate about coaching others to greater levels of achievement. She is a resident of Long Island, NY. To learn more, visit: KarynSchoenbart.com.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Fallen off the January Proverbial Wagon Yet?

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Nicki GilmourBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

The way to make 2018 resolutions stick is to understand your own neuroscience about how you see your goals in action.

Your mind is driving the bus. Take back the wheel!

The rubber meets the road for goal setting when you have behaviors that actually are conducive to reaching those goals. If you find that when you write down a goal your feelings are that of relief for writing it down and espousing it but that’s where it ends, then you need to look at what you are doing or not doing and why this is the case.

For several years, I wrote “Run a 5k race” on my New Year’s resolution list. For several years, I did not run a 5k or any amount of running.

Sound familiar? If like me, you get as far as goal setting but you find you are not doing what it takes and then beating yourself up about it, then I have a solution for you.

First, look at your competing agendas, this is what you tell yourself is the reason why you cannot do x, y, z and in my case, I told myself I didn’t have time to run.
Now, you must ask yourself. What is really stopping me? What is my big assumption here? Do I really not have time? What am I doing that is a ‘boondoggle’ or time suck, that could be used for running time.
So, when you have found time, still you find that it’s not about that, what a surprise! Your big assumptions or implicit beliefs are lurking! Your mind is telling you that you dont have time but in all honestly you are scared of how much it will hurt! What if you cant do it? What if you cant achieve a simple 5k when you used to be a great athlete? True story. But, I ran that 5k last year and continue to run and do many other things by facing my fears, debunking them and giving myself permission to fail and be less than perfect. So whatever your goal is, look at what you are doing behaviorally to achieve it and then what you are not doing. Why are you not doing it? Look at what you tell yourself and the beliefs that you hold that get in your way. Be brave, it is not easy but you can do it.

If your beliefs feel paralyzing then talk to a coach! We can help you goal set and then change your mindset and behaviors to reach your goal.

If you are interested in hiring an executive coach, email nicki@theglasshammer.com directly or visit our sister company www.evolvedpeople.com to book your free, no obligation exploratory chat.

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Getting What You Want in 2018

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Nicki-Gilmour-bioBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Happy New Year!

Most of us have new resolutions and all of them will rely on a behaviorial change in their essence, as they require action. If you have figured out what you want (and what you don’t want) and have named this as a future state, then congratulations, the first part is done. But, now the goals are on paper, will you behaviorally do what you need to do to really achieve them?

The good news is that you are in charge of your choices.

The bad news is that your unconscious mind can totally hijack best laid plans by creating competing agendas. How does this show up? What saboteurs are lurking? What fears do you harbor that stop you from achieving your goals? Well, subtle behavioral conflict often happens and what you don’t do to meet your goals is worth deeper examination.

Changing or leaving your job is a common example of where you may espouse that you want to change jobs but here you are two years later still in the same spot. Maybe you have been looking, maybe you have even sent out a few resumes, but my bet is that there is truly something within yourself stopping you from doing what you need to do to get what you want. This might look like logic on the surface, like you tell yourself you don’t have time to network or you need more experience to apply. But, the interesting part of all of this is that in reality you are probably holding assumptions and beliefs that are stopping you from actioning your goals. Continuing with the “logic”, the “no time” reason is usually about a fear, and this can be anything from fear of not getting the job, to fear of not performing in the job, to even just a baseline rejection issue as well as many things including fear of what the next workplace culture might be. Sticking with “the devil you know” comes up more than you can imagine for people. Many of my clients are amazing, talented, experienced executives – women and men from different industries and they are also very human. We are all a product of our past experiences and our cultural benchmarks that often scar us from the cradle to the grave with “the way it is.”

Now, that is not to say that systemic factors are not at play, from biased hiring processes to saturation in your marketplace and turbulent external conditions. But, people get hired in up and down markets and it is the internal dialogue that you have with yourself that matters. Mindset work is key, as by understanding your own paradigms and mental models you can truly formulate practical strategies. I say this because I spent significant time in the past several years studying and researching why people fail to execute on their espoused plans from organization diversity plans to individuals who want things to change. The psychology of saying one thing and doing another is fascinating but we all do it to some extent and it happens because of cognitive dissonance or competing agendas propped up by deep implicit beliefs.

So, if you want to get to a different, better, future place than where you are now, please call me for an exploratory chat as we now have a full service sister coaching firm – Evolved People Coaching and we would be happy to find the right coach for you.

Here is to a great 2018!

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Why Does Being Recognized in Our Job Matter?

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 By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational PyschologistNicki Gilmour

 

We all have different personalities and we all have different needs, some based on personality and some based on the constructs and paradigms that we have become attached to over time.  Some people care about status and title and others care about responsibility or money regardless of title. No one is right and no one is wrong as it is just who we are and how we have been formed via socio-norms, our own experiences and also our interpretation of those experiences.

While need for recognition scores on psychometric tests vary person to person, we all have in common a basic need to feel that people see us  in the most primal human sense and that it matters that we are there.

So, what happens if you feel that you aren’t making a difference? That if you left tomorrow, if wouldn’t matter? If it’s at work only* then its time to review what can you do to feel better about your visibility. Or it is possible that you are experiencing burnout and just need some renewal from the grind. So, how do you get that renewal in a busy world with situations that seem to need resolution as quickly as they appear on your radar?

I read an interesting piece yesterday about coming at a hard project with renewed vigor yesterday with  “Rest and Return” being one strategy when feeling stuck. Equally, having a learner mindset, by that I mean, knowing you are there to learn and not judge yourself harshly but rather learn from what happened. This can really help with longevity in any career and in life generally.

If you are in the mood for post Thanksgiving read, there is an easy book that can make you reflect a little of how you frame things to yourself. “Change your questions, change your life”  by Marilee Adams. Or an exploration of your mindset and how a fixed mindset can hinder you will take you to Carol Dweck’s mindset work. 

As a coach, I firmly believe that growth and renewal can only be achieved when you look at past patterns and current mental models and see how they are affecting your future plans.

Sign up for a five session coaching package with me for $2000 to get you off to a good start for 2018. Book an exploratory call here to see if I can help you thrive not just survive, advance, change jobs or figure out the next 12-24 months at work.

 

**If you are  feeling blue about other areas of your life its probably best to see a therapist or clinical psychologist as well as a coach.

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