3 Easy Ways to Know What Job You Want to Do Next

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Staying in the job, after the love has gone?

We have all done it, we have all stayed in a position at work that just did not excite us anymore on any level. The reasons that keep us there can vary but more often than not, it is a combination of wanting the security/ money and not believing that there is a better situation out there for us. Confidence, or lack of it for people who have never had a confidence issue before, can be very daunting.

It is normal to ask yourself, ‘But what would i do?’

The answer to that question is very personal and individual but in broad strokes my bet is that you could do a range of things inside or outside of your current firm and even industry.

Isn’t it time to do what you want to do? I mean, you probably have more skills than you give yourself credit for and probably most of them are entirely transferable.

Here are 3 steps to get closer to your ideal job.

1. Make a list of what you like doing
2. Then make a list of what you do not like doing
3. Make a list of the tasks you would be doing in a more ideal situation 12 months from now.

I am mentioning tasks, because often we talk about roles or responsibilities instead of tasks. Roles like, I want to manage people doesn’t actually define what is your task or the tasks they are doing that you will be responsible for, so go granular in this exercise.

What comes out of this simple exercise for you?

If you want to work with an executive coach on this and and then the advanced exercises that will take you to your next job, contact nicki@theglasshammer.com

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5 Things You Can Do as a Leader to Help Increase Engagement In Company Initiatives

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Latina
This week we invited a guest to contribute to the career tip column.

Fierce Conversations wrote a recent blog post on how leaders engage with it comes to organizational initiatives.

  1. Get on board, even if you’re not the driver. Just because you aren’t driving an idea or initiative, or didn’t come up with it to begin with, doesn’t mean the team and the entire organization doesn’t need you to get behind it. The sooner you can play the role of supporter-in-chief, the faster things will start to change and the larger impact you will see.
  2. Set expectations, and meet them. If you say you will be an advocate for a program, or that you expect an initiative to succeed, you need to show up for it. Trust is key here, as too many promises broken can lead your employees to simply stop making an effort.
  3. Model the behavior. Leaders need to be modeling the behavior they want to see. As there is a clear correlation between C-suite behavior and the model behavior they wanted exhibited. If you want all meetings to start on time, make sure you are never late. If you want people to work across teams, make sure they see you doing the same.
  4. Engage on a personal level. Through one-on-one conversations, either planned or organic, interact and engage regularly with employees and other company leaders. Create opportunities, such as social events or a weekly office walkthroughs, to support this endeavor, and ask about activities taking place. Use this feedback to improve upon the process.
  5. Follow-through. An initial email isn’t enough to support something. Ensure you continue to have conversations that advocate for a program, and that the leaders around you do the same. These conversations need to be ongoing, and fluid. Consider having a specific check-in point where you communicate widely the feedback and results to-date. Make changes as necessary.
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5 Tips to Increasing your Empathy as a Leadership Strategy

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

I used to have zero empathy, lots of honest concern for the person in their situation, but zero empathy (and I have the psychometric tests to prove it).

I could not understand why people could not do better, get over it and get on with it. I was judging them against my paradigms built as a child growing up in a terrorist state with an emotionally unavailable parent and a right wing culture telling me I had to be tough to survive( Northern Ireland in the 1980s under Thatcher). My frameworks and values were in play exclusively, not the other person’s frameworks. It was frustrating for me and I am pretty sure it was not a pleasant experience for people I managed and had in my life. Empathy is a leadership skill, because without it you cannot understand what people are feeling which dictates everything from how they perform to how they show up at work attitudinally and to how authentic they are with you.

This is key if you want to get past the golden rule of ‘treat others of treat people how you want to be treated’ and evolve to the platinum rule of “treat others how they want to be treated.”

So, I built, brick by brick and I internalized it and like any muscle flexed it until it became integral to my nature. You can do this also!

Here are 4 quick tips to get started:

1. Ask open questions that allow people to tell you about themselves and their situations in a way that gives them space to do it their way. Don’t interrogate people as building trust comes before, during and after these types of interactions.

2. Understand the difference between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy is when you feel an emotion for their situation ( such as sorrow and there is distance between you and them emotionally). Empathy is when their emotion is something that you feel with them as it pertains to your own ability to map it internally to your own experiences.

3. Do not limit other people’s emotions to your own range or to your own experiences. Frankly, you might not have the biggest range in the world. And if are very subjective in your ability to interpret events and can only do it through your lens ( see Kegan and Lahey again on the socialized mind in Immunity to Change) then I have found in people who have low EQ but lots of empathy that the person who is seeking to be understood by you on a topic can feel frustrated by the way that you are very keen to share what happened to you as part of the meaning- making and it can drown out the original person. Or that the subjectivity factor completely limits the process, putting the process in or near the concern quadrant if this was a map.

4. Recap and name the emotions you hear as a question not as a statement. In my opinion this is very tied to points 1 and 2 and 3.

5. Use the “magic if” to walk in the other person’s shoes. For example: “If my dad had a stroke this week, would i be able to finish project x today?’.

Practice makes perfect! And imperfection is ok too, your efforts will be appreciated, I am sure.

If you would like to develop your leadership skillst, I would be happy to work with you as your executive coach. Contact me on 646 6882318 or nicki@theglasshammer.com for an exploratory chat

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Maintaining Credibility: How to Deal with People Who Try to Devalue You

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By Nicki Gilmour Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

What happens when someone tries to discredit your work or disqualify you as a contender for a job?

Not just in politics, but in the workplace too. It is hard to believe that we still have to talk about this matter, but its still lurking. Whether it is overt sexism, a micro-aggression or even worse, the impact on the person on the receiving end is real. In the societal context, women ( and other minorities) are not believed and the benefit of the doubt usually goes to the perpetrator due to their status and biological sex/race/orientation (i.e. legacy dominant position that people do not like to challenge their implicit authority). In a work context, it means less pay, lost promotions and general unnecessary emotional stress. This is the stuff that causes a drag on individual/ team and firm performance and no amount of words about diversity from the CEO or drinks in the women’s network will fix the heart of what diversity work is; power and who gets it to have it , keep it and be believed.

Often people with issues (this is the kindest version I can print) will try to discredit you as a person and they start with your social identity, which means your grouping characteristics such as which gender you are, which ethnicity you are, and which orientation you are. Even if you personally don’t feel massive affiliation to these categories because it can be a shock to people with no intersectionality that you too could be just trying to live your life as a human and do your work without considering yourself (insert what you are here: a woman/black/gay etc).

Remember, it is often about you according to them and their stereotypical notions of who you are and absolutely nothing to do with who you actually are and what you are actually capable of. Equally, the people who i am referring to who feel like they are a threatened species, often benefit from their sex, skin color via positive stereotyping ( someone once said, its not a glass ceiling, but a thick layer of men). It is worth noting that anyone can do it even if they are a woman themselves because internalized misogyny and desire to protect traditional power structures have never been so obvious than this moment in history. But, whatever other people’s paradigms are, remedial attitudes or baggage, it should not have to be at your expense.

Why is this career advice? It is something that you need to be aware of because unfortunately one day you might stumble up against a less than evolved individual who will directly or indirectly try to lessen your credibility or devalue your work based on nothing more than your social identity.

How this plays out is that they take a shot at you based on their perception of their superiority and appropriateness regarding legacy positions for women, people of color and LGBT people. For example, at a recent social gathering, a fellow who had previously said offhand comments about women at work and LGBT people, decided to directly spit out a challenge starting the question with “who?” when the who was very obvious so it was not actually a question, it was a micro-aggression against a gay family structure.

Furthermore, bias is regularly disguised as ‘values’ because if you look at how values are formed, it is easy to see that constructs come from past norms, socio-conditioning and current cultural messaging. What did their granny tell them when they were nine? Chances are, they are operating heavily on familiar programming completely unaware that they have inherited things that they might not even truly believe if examined.

So, what do you do if you find yourself facing a person who is intentionally trying to devalue you.

There are strategies to pursue and which road to take depends on three things:

1. The overall systemic environment.

Where is the whole group at regarding their own ability to honestly digest how individual behaviors impact ongoing norms and actual humans in the group? The denial levels for untoward behavior in the workplace or socially are reducing as we have seen this year with sexual harassment. But, overall the ability to deny wrongdoing on micro-aggressions are still high. Look at how tolerant of bad behavior is the manager of your team? What flies? What are the group norms?

This is workplace culture and crucial to your next move when bringing up what happened. Will you be believed? The worst thing is not being believed or being told your experience couldn’t be true or is somehow invalid. Will you be shushed as excuses from you are wrong /you misunderstood them fly from people who are supposed to listen to such things? (HR , leaders, mentors, friends). Take the temperature as your truth is your truth, but group theory (Bion) suggests the group will protect the legacy structures, unless there are reasons not to.

2. The standing of the individual and their power based on them as an individual but also the power and authority assigned to them due to their social identity which adds benefit of the doubt privilege. Extreme cases are Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby- they thought they were untouchable due to the social currency. But, everyday bias and derogatory stuff is what we are talking about here, so relay the transgression to people who have mental complexity and can hold two conflicting realities in their head at the same time. That is to say, they can experience that this guy is great with them but bad to you as simultaneously true versions of reality and use their one subjective personal data point as an objective truth.

If no mental complexity is there ( as defined by Kegan, the Harvard development psychologist by the way, not just being rude here in saying they are not advanced), you will risk the high denial element again as these folks might have high IQ and make lots of money but are completely remedial on EQ, SQ and connecting the dots and you might as well be arguing with a small child.

This can be a depressing piece of work as there are many people who are capable but just have never had to do any real joining of cognitive, emotional and psychological processes because they can just stay in their ignorance as they have had no direct experience of what it means to be in the non dominant group and intersectionality doesn’t touch them. Also congruence is comfortable for everyone so its not their fault how they got there but it is their responsibility to figure out how to develop knowing that the world is full of many different types of people who historically didn’t have any power – see Kegan and Lahey again on the socialized mind in Immunity to Change. There are still so many men and women who cant help but protect the status quo for so many reasons. If you want to see this in action, participate in a contained social experiment- go to an AK Rice Group Relations conference on Power and Authority!

3. The third factor is your personality? Are you a confronter or a keep the peace person? You need to know your own comfort zones and abilities and what you are going to be able to take emotionally as revealing bad people can take strength, energy and there are stakes at play sometimes ( the bully/bigot knows that the stakes are low or them and high for you).

So, once you know the above, you can work out what the best course of action is. Sometimes it is about doing something and sometimes is it is not.

For extra reading, I recommend Leaders Guide to Leveraging Diversity Capabilities or leave this book on your boss’s desk to prime the pump for people who want to make things better so you build a cultural coalition of people who know how to deal with everyday problem children at work. I quote Maya Angelou in high regard, because “when you know better, you do better.”

If you are dealing with difficult people or a culture that has systemic diversity issues in it, I would be happy to work with you as your executive coach. Contact me on 646 6882318 or nicki@theglasshammer.com for an exploratory chat.

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What to Do When the Goal Posts Move at Work

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Recently, Fast Company published an article on unclear goals and what to do with the boss’s instructions are lacking or confusing.

As a coach, organizational psychologist, there is a piece of advice I offer everyday to my clients and it is something my own mentor told me many years ago. What is this sage wisdom? Never take a job where your responsibilities and your authority to execute (resources, power, ability) don’t align. Literally, do not accept the role of protecting the free world, if you can have the big red button to press if you need it. This analogy feels much more edgy these days than when I used to say it, which in itself is a reflective moment on whether we need a new analogy. Words matter!

So, say you take a job that you thought you were given the ability to execute on but it turns out that other people hold the resource, or the tools or the actual sign off? What do you do? You are already in the seat and the goal posts feel like they are a moving target!

It is key to explore your options and understand their potential future payoffs and consequences.

This is where good coaches can really help you.

I look forward to hearing from you since matrix organizations, company dysfunction etc means this is often much more common than we would like to believe.

Book an exploratory coaching call with Nicki here: https://calendly.com/nickigilmour/evolved-people-exploratory

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How to Be Productive Without Feeling Stressed

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women stressed

Guest Contributed by Anna Whitehouse

Keen to be more productive?

Constantly trying to squeeze every drop out of the day could leave you feeling incredibly stressed. So what’s the solution? Read on to discover how to achieve more without sacrificing your mental health.

Learn to be present

In 2005 Arianna Huffington founded the Huffington Post. Two years later, she had collapsed due to stress and burnout. It took a breakdown to make this highly successful woman realise that she needed to slow down.

As well as starting to sleep properly, Arianna learned to be fully present in each moment. She began to appreciate the simple pleasures of life and became passionate about the connection between well being and productivity at work.

So if you need time away from the demands of work, the constant chatter of social media and a busy home life, why not find a tranquil spot in a local park or garden and experience the power of being fully present for yourself?

Once you’ve found your spot, start by drawing a deep breath and letting it out through your nose. Next, relax each part of your body and become aware of your surroundings. Feel the sun on your face, listen to the birds singing and simply enjoy being in the moment.

Stop multitasking

In our busy society, the ability to multitask is often admired. However, according to Paul Towers of Task Pigeon, “our brains are designed to focus on one thing at a time. We are not like a computer where we can successfully run multiple applications simultaneously.”

While constantly switching between tasks might seem like a good idea, it actually leads to procrastination and lack of concentration. These can affect our productivity at work and our relationships with those we love.

If you want to become more productive, try tackling one thing at a time, as losing yourself in a particular task leads to creative flow. When you allow this to happen, you’ll actually complete your task more efficiently and to a higher standard.

Say no more often

Is saying yes your default setting? Then you’ll probably end up feeling resentful and stressed because you’ve taken on too many projects. If your goal is to become more productive, learning to say no is crucial, because you’ll then be able to say yes to the things you’re passionate about.

TED speaker Derek Sivers sums this up nicely with this statement: “if you’re not saying “Hell Yeah!” about something, say no.”
Saying no can be tricky to start with, but being able to set boundaries is a sign of maturity. Most people will respect the fact that you know your limits and you can always point them in the direction of someone else who might be able to help.

Write effective lists

To do lists can be very handy when it comes to being productive, but they can also cause a great deal of stress. To avoid this, we recommend prioritising each task on your list. Tasks with an impending deadline should always be placed at the top, as these need to be dealt with urgently. Non urgent but important tasks go next in line, followed by jobs that can be left for a little while.

If your list is becoming ridiculously long, delegate! Focusing on the jobs that you do best means that you’ll be able to give someone else the chance to develop their skills.

Look after yourself

At the headquarters of Arianna Huffington’s company Thrive Global; employees are encouraged to take a nap during the working day. Her mission is to prioritize the well being of her staff and promote the value of sleep:

“Studies have shown that naps boost our immune system, lower our blood pressure, increase our ability to learn, improve our memory and performance of complex tasks.”

Exercise is another excellent tool for boosting productivity and combating stress. This is because it keeps you mentally sharp and increases your energy, while also releasing endorphins.

If you’re suffering from afternoon sugar slumps at work, a diet rich in fruit, leafy green vegetables, oily fish, eggs and wholegrains will also increase your ability to concentrate.

Any change involves commitment, but if you take the time to follow our tips you’ll enjoy better mental and physical health as well as increasing your productivity.

Anna Whitehouse writes for Inspiring Interns, which specializes in finding candidates their perfect internship. To browse our graduate jobs, visit our website.

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Five Top Tips for Effective Working from Home

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accountability

Image via Shutterstock

Guest contributed by Anna Whitehouse

Finding it hard to focus?

Don’t despair, as it’s perfectly possible to make telecommuting or working from working a success if you follow these five handy tips.

1. Create a dedicated space

Separating work from family life is the key to effective home working. A desk in a spare room or study is ideal, as you’ll find it easier to switch off if you can close the door at the end of the day. Alternatively, if space is tight, try setting aside a corner of your bedroom or living room.

Having a dedicated work space also tells family members and friends that you are actually working and that they need to leave you in peace. Avoid working on the sofa or at the kitchen table at all costs, as you’ll be constantly interrupted.

2. Structure your day

It’s very easy to become distracted when you’re working from home, but sticking to a familiar structure will help you to focus. We suggest adhering to set hours, so that your clients know when to contact you and your family and friends know when you’re free to socialize.

Worried about a tight deadline? While it’s tempting to just keep on working until you’ve finished the task, doing this regularly will have an impact on your physical and mental health. Instead of risking burnout, we recommend punctuating your day with regular breaks, as these will keep you motivated and help you to produce better quality work.

If you find that you’ve finished a project and you’re waiting for feedback, resist the urge to turn on the TV and use the time to catch up with admin, update your portfolio or approach potential customers.

3. Banish distractions

Checking social media and emails every five minutes isn’t helpful when you’re working at home, so why not restrict yourself to checking them during your breaks? Seeing this as a reward can be motivating.

Turning off the radio and television could also help you to focus on your work, as a recent study found that clerical workers in a noisy room were less motivated to complete tasks and had elevated stress levels compared to those in a quiet room.

If you find that you’re too distracted by jobs that need doing at home, try spending the occasional morning working in a local coffee shop, library or co-working space. We guarantee that you’ll return to your desk feeling motivated and refreshed.

4. Eat well

While home working means that you don’t have to resist the constant round of staff room treats, you’ll still have easy access to another source of temptation; your fridge. To stay energized, stock up on healthy snacks like dried fruit, nuts, oat cakes and dark chocolate.

Whether you prefer sushi, salad or a sandwich, always make yourself a proper lunch, as this will help you to be more productive. Try to include some protein packed lean meat, eggs, beans or nuts and a serving of salad or veg. Oily fish is also a great choice, as supplementing your diet with omega-3 fish oil could boost your concentration. If you need some lunchtime inspiration, check out the delicious recipes available at The Freelancer’s Cookbook.

If you’re keen to stave off hunger and prevent an afternoon slump, make sure that you stay hydrated. This means limiting the amount of tea and coffee you drink and opting for plain water, water with a slice of lemon in it or water sweetened with a little sugar free squash.

5. Get out and about

Working from home can get lonely even if you’re an introvert, so it’s worth getting out of the house for a change of scenery now and again. Joining a monthly networking group, having lunch with a friend or meeting a client for coffee could all help to combat any feelings of isolation.

Getting out is also good for your physical health, as sitting for long periods of time slows down your body’s ability to regulate blood sugar and blood pressure. However, recent research states that it’s possible to reduce the effect of sitting still if you exercise. So how about going for a brisk lunchtime walk or trying out an online yoga session?

Take our tips on board and we guarantee that working from home will become an enjoyable and productive experience. You’ll achieve more, feel healthier and be able to relax properly at the end of the working day.

What are your top tips for home working? We’d love to know!

Anna Whitehouse writes for Inspiring Interns, which specialises in finding candidates their perfect internship. To browse our graduate jobs, visit our website.

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Time to look for a new job

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

So you figured out that you need a new job!

There are many ways to start a job search yet sometimes it can seem so daunting to start the process.

There are general strategies to job hunting, such as if you know vaguely the target companies that you would like to interview with then start investigating the opportunities there. LinkedIn is a great way to see if you know anyone directly or indirectly at your preferred firms and a good place to start is to mine your current network to build your future one. Apply to job postings but know that any personal connection will probably help you so it is worth checking your network and refreshing your relationships with coffees and lunch with influencers and mentors.

What people don’t tell you is that what you will want to do in the hunt matters. What you tell yourself and your own perceptions of yourself will also matter as does your confidence and level of extroversion.

If you don’t know what is next, it is worth working with a coach ( such as myself and the vetted coaches who partner with theglasshammer) to help you refine what is the next stage of your career and help you secure the job you want, whether it is within your current industry or perhaps a pivot into something new altogether?

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com is you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work.

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Tips on successful career networking

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Professional-networking-advice featured

Guest contributed by Avery Philips

Before you step foot in any networking event, it’s best to have some questions prepared to avoid those awkward moments of silence.

Ask these questions the next time you’re at a networking event to secure connections:

  • How did you hear about this event?
  • What’s your favorite thing about your job?
  • Have you always wanted to work in this field?
  • How can I help you?

These kinds of questions show your interest in the other person and allow for longer conversations. You can also learn something new and discover the kind of connections they have with other people. Finally, by offering your services to prospective business connections, they may offer their services in return.

Utilize Alumni Networks

As it turns out, a college education can provide a lot more than a degree and student debt. Alumni associations like Arizona State’s offer a wide variety of networking resources to help you advance in your career. Here’s are some best practices for alumni networking you can do:

  • Attend events that are open to alumni. Use these get-togethers to form in-person connections that can result in lasting relationships.
  • Volunteer at your alumni association. Getting involved shows your overall interest and your willingness to put in the effort to take advantage of these resources. It will also get you into contact with like-minded individuals who will remember you when opportunities arise.
  • When you get in touch, stay in touch. Plan coffee and lunch meetups to keep you fresh in business professionals’ minds. Don’t forget to email them as well and see what’s new with them.
Explore Other Networking Groups

Although the college you graduated from offers a wealth of networking resources, there are plenty of other networking outlets at your disposal. That way, networking can work for you instead of the other way around. Here are a few you should look into:

  • General Networking: There are many conferences all over that allow a variety of people to come together and network. Even if someone isn’t in your field, you can find different opportunities and new paths to take by networking with different kinds of people.
  • Seminars: Accomplish two things by signing up for a seminar. Not only will you get to learn new things, you’ll also be able to network with speakers and attendees. You never networkingknow who will come to these events, so it’s best to be observant and to talk to as many people as you can.
  • Social Media: Almost everyone is on social media, and they’re only one direct message away. Look for business professionals you think would be instrumental in your career and comment on their posts. Ask them questions about themselves and how they became successful. More likely than not, they’ll be more than happy to tell you.

Networking is a must if you want to be successful in your career. Who you know can be just as important as how well you do your job. By following these tips, your networking skills will be as stellar as your job performance, opening the doors to many job opportunities for you.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Doing the work of others

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By Nicki Gilmour, Organizational Psychologist and Executive Coach

What are you recognized and rewarded for?

How does what you are supposed to be doing and get paid for, stack up against the other stuff that just creeps in? Task creep as its known happens to most of us, but in excess it can stop you from optimally performing,make you tired and stop you from getting to your real work.

Think about what your job is supposed to be as defined by your boss, your year end review criteria and the job spec and then think all the other things that happen 9-5 beside the official stuff. Be a team player by all means but learn to recognize systemic dysfunction.

Make a list of what you do every day for a period of a week to see what is officially within your remit and what creeps in there. It might be illuminating to see how you are paid for driving the train but also at times asked to lay the track, clean the engine etc which is time consuming and often not conducive to your time management or skill set.

Contact nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com is you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work.

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