Moving Forward Positively After Losing Your Job

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 Guest contributed by Alice BergFrustrated blonde woman sitting at a computer

Losing your job can happen to any of us. If you got fired, don’t get desperate. Yes, it is worrying and somewhat frustrating but you should see it as an opportunity to look at your career journey so far. Losing your job could be an opportunity to move in a different direction or even obtain an even more prestigious role you wouldn’t have considered otherwise. What should you do when you get fired and how do you overcome professional hardship and get back on track as fast as possible?

Leave smartly

Getting fired is a bitter pill to swallow, however don’t think of burning bridges. Your main goal is to leave your current firm on a positive note. It is important to save good relationships with your boss, co-workers and even clients in order not to threaten your future career. However, if you think that prejudice occurred and you were unfairly fired from the job because of your sex or race, you can seek legal advice.

Take time for yourself

Your life after being fired still goes on. It is not the right time to get upset and focus on your failure. Take this time to let it go and to adjust to this life change. Take a few days to take stock and to consider what options are open to you that will fully satisfy your professional interests in the future.

Control your emotions

Don’t let getting fired depression take the best of you. Don’t get stressed and try to accept your loss. You can allow yourself to mourn for a couple of days but then you have to leave this traumatic experience in the past and move on. Don’t hold the grudge against your boss or yourself. Manage your emotions and try to think over some positive aspects of being fired. It can be your fresh start, in the first place.

Spend time with the people closest to you

You can use your free time wisely and do things that previously you have never had time to do. You could try something beneficial for your mind and body but most importantly, you can spend more time with your family. While working, you always feel busy and out of time, so often you don’t get the spend as much time with your family as you would like. Now you can! Devote each moment to the people that matter in your life. They will be a strong emotional support for you at this difficult conjuncture.

Make your financial situation clear

After getting fired from a job you should dispose of your money wisely. You never know how much time it will take for you to find a new job. Therefore, you have to assess your financial situation, look over your budget and cut all extra expenses. Your savings will come in handy.

Understand your strengths and weaknesses

Take this time to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Make a list of all your best skills, abilities and experience that set you apart from others. Similarly, list each characteristic and trait that may hinder your way to success. Besides, you can talk to your trustworthy former colleagues and ask them to point out your strong and weak sides. Listen actively and it will be easier for you to figure out what to do to become a better version of yourself.

Once you see an overall picture of what you are good at and what should be changed, you will trigger off your enthusiasm of moving forward and conquering new heights.

Make your dreams come true

Now you are that close to realizing that losing your job is a true blessing for you. Nothing can stop you from making all your dreams come true. First of all, you are open to each new opportunity. If you have ever thought of a career change, but were afraid to take the first step – do it right now! If you have been dreaming of a vacation with your family – go together on a trip!

No time for moaning. Be active!

In order to boost your confidence, you have to be proactive. Think about a career you would like to pursue and do at least 3 useful things that will bring you closer to your dream job. Also, it will not let you get depressed. Use your time effectively. The truth is, you have no time to moan.

Be open for new opportunities

Don’t be afraid of change. It can be overwhelming, but you also will see how exciting it can be! Remember that everything happens for a reason. Who knows, maybe you were fired from your job to have an opportunity to rediscover yourself. It is high time to try something new: visit some professional conferences or meetings, refresh your resume, prepare your social media accounts and LinkedIn profile for job search, get ready for an interview and move forward towards your dreams!

Now you know what to do after getting fired. By implementing these steps to moving on you will have quality time free of your job duties. Use this time wisely and never get desperate and discouraged. Believe in yourself and start your new way to success.

Alice Berg – a blogger from Bath, UK, and a consultant at SkillRoads, who received a degree in Social Work and Applied Social Studies. Now she helps people to find their own way in life, gives career advice and guidance, helps young people to prepare for their careers. You can find Alice on Twitter and Facebook.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Do More of What You Like Doing at Work (and What You Get Paid For)

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

All jobs have tasks that we prefer over other tasks.

Be honest with yourself, how strategically important are the tasks that you are avoiding? If they rank highly either for your current role or as a development skill, then consider setting time aside formally in your calendar to undertake them on a regular basis as habit can be a great way to embrace them.

What are you recognized and rewarded for?

Are you experiencing task creep?

Have a look (or make a list) of what you do every day for a period of a week to see what is officially within your remit and what creeps in there. It might be illuminating to see how you are paid for driving the train but also at times asked tolay the track, clean the engine etc which is time consuming and often not conducive to your time management or skill set.

Contact nicki@glasshammer2.wpengine.com is you would like to hire an executive coach to help you navigate the path to optimal personal success at work.

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Mental Health and the Office Why It Matters More Than Ever to Be Open About Your Struggles

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Guest contributed by Katie McBethSad businesswoman

Every year World Mental Health Day is commemorated. This day of recognition is meant to help raise awareness, help dismantle the stigma, and provide those who suffer with access to support if they need it.

The focus of last year was mental health in the office: how awareness, stigma, and our work-life balance can affect workforces around the world. In America, especially, working women are often struggling to balance their life in and out of the office, and are finding it even more difficult to not let the stresses of the outside world affect their work and productivity. Although there is an increased awareness around mental illness, there is still a strong stigma on discussing it at work.

What does this mean for working women who suffer from mental illness? How can we not only become more successful in our careers, but also be more accepted for our invisible conditions? How can office leaders make a difference for all their employees? These questions can be an especially tough to parse, but they are extremely important for opening up the dialogue around mental illness in the office.

Erasing Stigma Through Dialogue

Over a lifetime, it’s estimated that the average full-time American worker spends about 90,000 hours at work. It’s no wonder, then, why this year’s theme of Mental Health Awareness Day was focused on the office. Our jobs take up a large portion of our lives, and the environment around us, our work habits, and our outside life can all factor into our mental and physical well-being.

However, it’s rare to hear conversations about mental health while actually in the office. Much of this can be due to the vulnerability of opening up about mental health conditions, but it could also be due to the fact that patriarchal standards still reign supreme in business. The idea of exposing mental illness — as well as emotion or empathy — can be seen as a weakness.

Numerous studies have come to prove this to be false, and in fact honing your emotional intelligence can play a large part in improving a business and can really shine in management. Empathy and communication, in particular, have shown to reduce employee turnover, improve team morale, and increase productivity for individuals and teams.

When discussing mental health, one of the biggest hurdles in addressing it can be the stigmas that exist around these conditions: both social stigmas (those created by society) and self stigmas (those created internally by people who suffer from mental illness). However, some of those stigmas are beginning to change, and much of that is thanks to the people who are brave enough to speak up and be open about it, and to those that have the empathy and patience to listen and learn. Scientific research has also shown that people are more willing to seek out help — via therapy, counseling, or medication — when they can overcome these stigmas.

For those of us that suffer from mental illness, being open about our struggles and our conditions can be inherently powerful. However, it can be difficult to be open if we don’t have a support system in place. On the reverse, having a supportive, empathetic, and kind boss can be a major factor in helping those that suffer feel less stigmatized by their invisible condition. Empathy is also extremely powerful, especially in the office and especially among those in management and leadership positions.

Accepting Mental Health as Physical Health

There’s a reason mental illness is referred to as an “invisible condition.” Although common misconceptions often overlook the body-mind connection, there is plenty of evidence to show that mental illnesses can have a profound effect on the physical body.

However, the general population that doesn’t suffer from mental illness could still suffer from occasional bouts of depression or anxiety brought on by work, or even external circumstances or trauma —. Prolonged exposure to stress can have physical effects as well, which is why it is all the more important to consider allowing mental health days at work.

Sick days allow employees the opportunity to stay at home and recover from the flu or from injuries. Mental health days, on the other hand, allow employees the opportunity to stay at home, relax, rest, and recover. Even for employees that don’t suffer from mental illness, mental health days allow them a chance to step away from the stress of the office and hopefully find ways to practice de-stressing techniques. About 25 percent of Americans agree that work is a main stress-point for them, and stepping away can help them find tranquility, as well as make them better workers for when they do return to the office.

Organizational stress — can result in disengagement if it goes on too long or is unaddressed. Allowing employees the chance to step away from the stress of work can help them feel more appreciated. It can also help them refocus on tasks and be more engaged in the office.

Mental health days go beyond helping those who suffer from mental illness and can help everyone feel better about their work. Examples of this increased emphasis on mental wellness can be seen in European countries where work weeks are shorter, vacation times are longer, and employees are generally happier to be working for their company. If only America could pick up these same practices, maybe our workforce would be better for it.

Changing the Workplace for the Better

Especially in the workplace, Mental Health Awareness Day — where it is frowned upon to discuss these ailments —can help create a dialogue that could lead to lasting changes for everyone.

Being a professional working women who suffers from mental illness can be difficult. Facing the constant stigma of our conditions, as well as the threat of losing our jobs if we’re having a bad day, or even being the subject of ridicule or discrimination because we can’t “showcase” our condition, is a daily worry. There will always be someone to try to put you down for something you cannot control about yourself.

However, our office is no place to face this sort of targeted discrimination, and having a supportive and understanding boss can help prevent sufferers from being alienate at their place of employment. Additionally, raising awareness around the effects of mental illness and stress in the workplace can help carve the paths for healthier lifestyle choices and happier employees.

There are ways to make lasting change in the office and in our lives, but it starts with one simple step: having a conversation. If you suffer from mental illness and feel like your manager will be receptive to discussing your concerns, then maybe it’s time to have that talk. If you’re a manager and want to showcase your support for all your employees, be open about allowing mental health days in the office, and perhaps provide resources for those that need it.

Finally, if you suffer from serious mental illness and are afraid that it will interfere with your work, know that you are not suffering alone. Seek out help, find treatment, and know that although you may have this condition forever, it will not limit the great things you plan to do with your life. You do not have to suffer in silence, and you do not deserve to be stigmatized. Let’s work on making the world a little better for everyone.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Becoming a High Performer – Stress Recovery and Renewal Matters!

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Latina

By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

As ambitious, hard working women, we are often not satisfied about what we have achieved at work.

We often feel insecure about giving less than 150% at work for fear of losing ground. And, the truth is, most of us work in very competitive industries that require us to be present for long hours, to travel and to take on massive amounts of responsibility. Would we have it any other way? My guess is if you are reading the glasshammer.com, you are interested in hearing how to have more of everything and have it right now!

However, research shows that sustainable high performance requires the executive to harness stress adequately with the right amount of pace and rest for stress recovery. Doing what you love means being well enough to do it. You are human. No matter how good the set up is at the office and at home, chances are you are a little stressed and a little exhausted. Throw kids in the mix and downtime to recover disappears further.

It is time to talk about that while growth is important in climbing the ladder and breaking the ceiling, renewal is even more important so that you can continue to high perform, learn and grow.

Staying well physically and mentally is now something more and more companies are paying attention to. Executives who understand their own sustainability are more likely to avoid burnout and have better longevity in their careers.

Stress also affects how you show up as a team member, manager or leader. Behaviorally, when under stress, most of us have shortcomings from being snappy, to avoidance of issues that need to be addressed. When you do not realize the stress, as it becomes normalized, then you equally might accept your less than optimal behaviors as normal too.

We have developed a group coaching program for high performing talent, and “insecure overachievers” that creates awareness of how stress is effecting your performance and ultimately hindering your development as an executive. By understanding your own neuroscience and your actual data you can understand how to make real change for your mental and physical health.

We are running a virtual cohort where people are matched in pods to work on sustainable high performance.

If you are “high performing talent” and likely to make Managing Director in the next 12 months then this group could be for you.

There is a cost for the 5 month program and it includes psychometric tests, individual and group coaching.

Write to nicki@evolvedpeople.com if you are interested in being considered for this cohort or to schedule a call to discuss this program for your company.

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Men: It’s Easy to Be a Workplace Ally – Here’s How

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happy man with women

Guest contributed by Deborah Pine and Trish Foster

By now it’s no surprise to read that, in 2017, women still face more workplace challenges than men.

According to McKinsey’s 2016 Women in the Workplace report, more than 75 percent of CEOs include gender equality in their top ten business priorities, but progress is still frustratingly slow.

While women can and do make progress alone, more and more companies are discovering a secret weapon to achieve gender balance – male allies. Men, if you truly want to support women in the workplace, there are practical (and relatively easy) steps you can take immediately. Remember that even incremental changes in your behavior might help the women you work with. Here’s how you can help.

Recruit women

In doing so, recognize that some of the best candidates might not come to you – you might need to seek them out. Why? Because while men apply for jobs when they meet 60 percent of the hiring criteria, women wait until they think they’ve met them all. So search for female candidates via LinkedIn, references, internships, and by making sure your hiring committees put women and other diverse candidates on the slate.

Actively promote women and raise their visibility

Encourage them to apply for jobs with more responsibility even if they haven’t met all of the requirements. Why? Because women tend to get promoted based on their accomplishments, men more so based on potential. And a McKinsey/LeanIn.Org report shows that men get promoted at a greater rate than women in the first few years of their careers. Research suggests that women benefit by seeing strong female role models ahead of them in the pipeline. Help make that happen by raising the visibility of women in your organization.

Evaluate performance fairly

Start by being aware of gender bias in performance reviews, since research shows that male performance is often overestimated compared to female performance. In fact, gender-blind studies show that removing gender from performance-based evaluations improves women’s chances of success. Provide constructive criticism and be honest and fair, just as you would with a man.

Be aware of unconscious bias

It’s now well-established that all of us are biased. That’s why so many companies use unconscious or implicit bias training as an essential step in developing men as allies programs. You can tap into plenty of online resources to learn more about implicit bias on your own.

Be a mentor, or better yet, a sponsor, to a woman

Data supports the notion that women who have both female and male mentors get more promotions and higher pay. In addition to mentoring, consider actively sponsoring a woman – remember that sponsors go beyond mentoring by creating tangible workplace opportunities for their protégés. For example, don’t be afraid to take a female colleague to lunch or invite her to an outing, as you would with a male colleague. Professional opportunities often arise in such social settings.

If you have parental leave, take it

We can’t achieve gender parity if women are the only ones taking child-care leave. As Liza Mundy writes in The Atlantic, “The true beneficiaries of paternity leave are women.”

Establish accountability metrics

Set personal diversity and inclusion goals, and encourage your company to establish diversity and inclusion goals for all managers, tying them to reviews and compensation. Accountability produces results!

Don’t ‘manterrupt’ when a woman is speaking

Research shows that men interrupt women far more than they interrupt other men. Actively work to listen more than you speak, and even better, visibly solicit and affirm input from women in meetings.

Be an advocate

Have your female co-worker’s back when she’s not in the room and call out unfairness and bias when you see it. Talk to other men to raise awareness about gender diversity and remember that silence can be misinterpreted as support for the status quo.

Share the housework at home and the office

For women to succeed, they need an equal division of labor at home and at work. Honestly evaluate whether you are sharing chores at home ranging from childcare to cleaning, and do the same at work, raising your hand for the tasks women so often assume, like organizing social events.

Your actions have the potential to make a major, positive difference not just in the lives of your female peers, but in your own life, your work environment, and your company’s success.

Deborah Pine is executive director and Trish Foster is senior program director for the Center for Women and Business at Bentley University in Waltham, Mass.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Undervaluing Yourself? Here’s How to Make Sure You Get What You Deserve

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Guest contributed by Karen Schoenbarthappy man with women

Do you routinely undervalue your professional worth? Are you afraid to step up and take on new challenges or ask for a promotion or raise because you aren’t sure you’ve earned them? If so, you are definitely not alone.

“Imposter Syndrome” is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. It refers to high-achieving individuals who can’t internalize their accomplishments and persistently fear being exposed as a fraud. According to a recent study in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, up to 70 percent of people feel this way.

The funny thing about Imposter Syndrome is that sufferers are almost always able to meet the requirements of their job, so their fears are actually unwarranted. Nevertheless, overcoming these fears isn’t easy. Follow these steps to gain confidence that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Set goals for what you want to do and focus on achieving those things.
  • Do an honest evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses. While everyone focuses on fixing the weaknesses, also focus on building up and honing your strengths.
  • Find people who believe in you both personally and professionally and reach out to them for support.
  • When you receive a compliment, don’t negate it or deny it. Simply say, “thank you.”
  • Focus on helping others instead of yourself. As C.S. Lewis said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.”
  • Talk with people you respect to see if they share similar concerns. Work together to overcome them. Remember, even brilliant and famous people occasionally admit to feeling like frauds. Try to laugh about it.

Nothing Cures Imposter Syndrome Like Hard Proof

An especially critical strategy for overcoming Imposter Syndrome is to track your accomplishments and communicate them to the people who matter. It is not attractive to brag, of course, but sharing your positive results with your boss and other senior executives will encourage them to support and reward you. When this happens, you will naturally feel like less of an imposter.

It helps to be as proactive as possible, so start a file today. If you get an email from a colleague or a client thanking you or complimenting something you’ve done, add it to the file. If you’ve been given specific goals or objectives, keep them handy and work the list—ensuring you are addressing everything on it. If you need help to accomplish a specific goal, ask. For example, if your boss said you need to hone your presentation skills but you haven’t had a chance to present anything, ask if there is an assignment that will afford you the opportunity. It’s fine to reference your objective and the desire to accomplish it.

A few notes of caution. Your file of accomplishments should be long and comprehensive, but beware of overkill when talking to your manager about them – even if you feel Imposter Syndrome getting the best of you. Choose examples from the file that demonstrate your mastery of a specific task or skill. These examples can also be used when meeting with other senior people in your company or a new manager who can benefit from learning what you have been working on.

Careful tracking and strategic communication will ensure that you have an excellent business case to ask for a promotion or raise, and will hopefully assuage your fears. But what if the worst happens? What if you swallow your apprehension, ask, and are denied anyway? How can you keep from undervaluing yourself then? First, make sure you understand the reasons for the decision. Are there softer skills you are missing, such as communicating tactfully or being assertive in meetings? Ask for specific examples of what you need that you are not currently demonstrating. If nothing is missing, inquire about what is holding you back. A lack of positions at the next level is sometimes a legitimate issue, so you may need to be patient.

Don’t Undervalue Your Offerings Either

A corollary to Imposter Syndrome is underestimating the value of your products or services. Here, you should remember that when you provide something that meets a need of your client or customer, you cannot be afraid to be compensated for it. Have pride in your offering, and know exactly how your client or customer’s life or business will improve as a result of having it. Be willing to walk away, but keep in mind that there are times you might want to be more flexible. For example, you might decrease your price in order to protect an important, long-term relationship. A negotiation that ends in a win/win will reduce your self-doubt and keep you from falling victim to Imposter Syndrome in the future.

Adapted with permission of the publisher, Motivational Press, Inc., from MOM.B.A. Essential Business Advice from One Generation to the Next 
by Karyn Schoenbart with Alexandra Levit.  Copyright (c) 2017 by Karyn Schoenbart. All rights reserved. https://www.amazon.com/Mom-B-Essential-Business-Advice-Generation/dp/1628654597

About the author

KARYN SCHOENBART, author of MOM.B.A. is CEO of The NPD Group, a global provider of information and advisory services to many of the world’s leading brands. She has over 30 years of experience in the market research field, with expertise in identifying and developing new business opportunities and client partnerships.

Schoenbart was named one of the Top 25 Most Influential Women of the Mid-Market by the CEO Connection. She is also the recipient of the Long Island Brava Award, which recognizes high-impact female business leaders, and the Legacy Award from Women in Consumer Technology. Schoenbart is passionate about coaching others to greater levels of achievement. She is a resident of Long Island, NY. To learn more, visit: KarynSchoenbart.com.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Fallen off the January Proverbial Wagon Yet?

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Nicki GilmourBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

The way to make 2018 resolutions stick is to understand your own neuroscience about how you see your goals in action.

Your mind is driving the bus. Take back the wheel!

The rubber meets the road for goal setting when you have behaviors that actually are conducive to reaching those goals. If you find that when you write down a goal your feelings are that of relief for writing it down and espousing it but that’s where it ends, then you need to look at what you are doing or not doing and why this is the case.

For several years, I wrote “Run a 5k race” on my New Year’s resolution list. For several years, I did not run a 5k or any amount of running.

Sound familiar? If like me, you get as far as goal setting but you find you are not doing what it takes and then beating yourself up about it, then I have a solution for you.

First, look at your competing agendas, this is what you tell yourself is the reason why you cannot do x, y, z and in my case, I told myself I didn’t have time to run.
Now, you must ask yourself. What is really stopping me? What is my big assumption here? Do I really not have time? What am I doing that is a ‘boondoggle’ or time suck, that could be used for running time.
So, when you have found time, still you find that it’s not about that, what a surprise! Your big assumptions or implicit beliefs are lurking! Your mind is telling you that you dont have time but in all honestly you are scared of how much it will hurt! What if you cant do it? What if you cant achieve a simple 5k when you used to be a great athlete? True story. But, I ran that 5k last year and continue to run and do many other things by facing my fears, debunking them and giving myself permission to fail and be less than perfect. So whatever your goal is, look at what you are doing behaviorally to achieve it and then what you are not doing. Why are you not doing it? Look at what you tell yourself and the beliefs that you hold that get in your way. Be brave, it is not easy but you can do it.

If your beliefs feel paralyzing then talk to a coach! We can help you goal set and then change your mindset and behaviors to reach your goal.

If you are interested in hiring an executive coach, email nicki@theglasshammer.com directly or visit our sister company www.evolvedpeople.com to book your free, no obligation exploratory chat.

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Sexual Harassment: How Can Men Help Prevent it?

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sexual harassment

Guest contributed by Jim Morris, WMFDP, Chief Curriculum Officer

In our current political and cultural context women are emboldened – on an historically unprecedented level – to call out the toxic behavior of male colleagues.

What many men are now learning about second hand through the news is a reality women have lived with since entering the workforce over a century ago. Now that the floodgates have opened there is a reckoning taking place: As more and more women speak-up about their harassment experience, others feel supported in coming forth with their stories. This has led to a wave of solidarity, where women are also communicating more with each other on how to approach this problem. One example is the 13 million dollar legal fund for women in low-wage jobs, that was recently announced by a coalition of women in the entertainment industry.

Many of the women who are coming forward were offered financial settlements in exchange for their silence. This sends an unmistakable message that their employers were willing to tolerate harassment without real consequence. What would have been the response had these men committed an equally egregious ethical or procedural breach of another type, like misappropriation of funds, or ignoring a safety issue? Would it have been overlooked, swept under the rug, or treated as confidential? Instead of creating organizational cultures that have a true zero tolerance policy for sexual assault or harassment, we’re living in a world where, until now, it’s been acceptable to quietly collude in a cover up if the perpetrator has enough money, status and power to make the issue go away. This is privilege run amok. Proposed legislation in California that would benefit non-disclosure agreements in these settlements is one possible solution.

So how did we get here? One aspect is the cultural conditioning men receive from a very young age, which entails gaining prestige by cultivating a “cowboy” atmosphere that excludes and often diminishes women. This can range from simply favoring men for leadership roles or drowning out female voices in meetings, (labeled “loudership” in a Harvard Business Review article), to outright objectification, harassment or assault. It’s a systemic issue that is bigger than a few bad actors. Though it’s easy to point a finger at the egregious offenders who make headlines, what about the role that other men play in perpetuating the culture that allows this behavior to flourish? This is a time for men to ask ourselves individually how we have contributed to an environment that has allowed a large number of high profile men to engage in this behavior, over the course of careers that often span decades.

One of the more insidious dimensions of this is unconscious bias. Confronting this requires cultivating a mindfulness of the way one’s own culture and identity shapes behavior and perception. It calls for working with discomfort and sitting with those feelings. At White Men As Full Development Partners, we approach unconscious bias by suggesting the real work before us is to better understand our own privilege and the way other factors like gender and racial conditioning impact how we feel about and view each other. For example, white men don’t typically pay as much attention to their appearance at work, and they are rarely judged as being incompetent because of how they dress. Yet we know from research that the perception of a woman’s competence at work is much more connected to their appearance than their male counterparts. Women are under a lot more pressure to literally “look the part” in order to establish credibility at work. (4)

Another skill that’s crucial to develop is the courage to identify problematic behavior, and speak up to disrupt it. This gets back to the importance of fostering an awareness of how perceptions and realities differ depending on different aspects of your identity. Something that might seem innocuous to a man might actually be experienced as intimidating or inappropriate to a woman or member of a marginalized group. Recognizing that everyone has the right to feel safe and valued in the workplace (and beyond) sets the stage for this approach. The idea is not that men are fundamentally flawed, but rather, are in need of some perspective on how other groups experience life in a white male dominated culture.

Though it’s tempting to think this issue can be addressed with a two hour workshop or online learning module, the reality is that it’s an ongoing process and a long-term commitment. The research, however, says that behavior change isn’t fixed by “training” alone; it’s fixed by helping people learn to first courageously examine and then consciously shift their mindsets. Individual behavior change is a lengthy and deeply personal process. The assumption that training will eradicate a culture of collusion and protection isn’t realistic. Instead, our approach is to begin by examining how the power, privilege and status that each of us wields may impact the way we lead and partner with others. You can’t change behavior without shifting mindsets, and there is no ‘quick fix’ when it comes to that work.

We also need to ask ourselves what men can do to help prepare the next generation? What can be taught to children by men (and women) to preempt some of the sexual harassment endemic to our culture? This behavior starts at a young age because boys want to connect and want to gain status with each other, so we need to find ways for them to do that in positive ways, where there’s space to be vulnerable. Traditionally, discussions on sexual harassment have tended to frame this as a “women’s issue,” and changing that perception is crucial to this process. This entails examining the impact this behavior has on men as well as women, and on the success and health of systems we work within and depend on, from the private sector to government and beyond.

About White Men As Full Diversity Partners (WMFDP):

WMFDP is a diversity and leadership development firm founded in 1996 by Bill Proudman, Michael Welp, Ph.D., and Jo-Ann Morris in Portland, Oregon. WMFDP takes an unorthodox approach towards eradicating bias and discrimination in the workplace. Its client list includes Alaska Airlines, Dell, Lockheed Martin, Northwestern Mutual, Rockwell Automation, Chevron Drilling & Completions, The Nature Conservancy, MassMutual, and others.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Getting What You Want in 2018

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Nicki-Gilmour-bioBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Happy New Year!

Most of us have new resolutions and all of them will rely on a behaviorial change in their essence, as they require action. If you have figured out what you want (and what you don’t want) and have named this as a future state, then congratulations, the first part is done. But, now the goals are on paper, will you behaviorally do what you need to do to really achieve them?

The good news is that you are in charge of your choices.

The bad news is that your unconscious mind can totally hijack best laid plans by creating competing agendas. How does this show up? What saboteurs are lurking? What fears do you harbor that stop you from achieving your goals? Well, subtle behavioral conflict often happens and what you don’t do to meet your goals is worth deeper examination.

Changing or leaving your job is a common example of where you may espouse that you want to change jobs but here you are two years later still in the same spot. Maybe you have been looking, maybe you have even sent out a few resumes, but my bet is that there is truly something within yourself stopping you from doing what you need to do to get what you want. This might look like logic on the surface, like you tell yourself you don’t have time to network or you need more experience to apply. But, the interesting part of all of this is that in reality you are probably holding assumptions and beliefs that are stopping you from actioning your goals. Continuing with the “logic”, the “no time” reason is usually about a fear, and this can be anything from fear of not getting the job, to fear of not performing in the job, to even just a baseline rejection issue as well as many things including fear of what the next workplace culture might be. Sticking with “the devil you know” comes up more than you can imagine for people. Many of my clients are amazing, talented, experienced executives – women and men from different industries and they are also very human. We are all a product of our past experiences and our cultural benchmarks that often scar us from the cradle to the grave with “the way it is.”

Now, that is not to say that systemic factors are not at play, from biased hiring processes to saturation in your marketplace and turbulent external conditions. But, people get hired in up and down markets and it is the internal dialogue that you have with yourself that matters. Mindset work is key, as by understanding your own paradigms and mental models you can truly formulate practical strategies. I say this because I spent significant time in the past several years studying and researching why people fail to execute on their espoused plans from organization diversity plans to individuals who want things to change. The psychology of saying one thing and doing another is fascinating but we all do it to some extent and it happens because of cognitive dissonance or competing agendas propped up by deep implicit beliefs.

So, if you want to get to a different, better, future place than where you are now, please call me for an exploratory chat as we now have a full service sister coaching firm – Evolved People Coaching and we would be happy to find the right coach for you.

Here is to a great 2018!

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

We are returning to your screens on Monday 9th January but we wanted to share with you the following opportunities:

This is our eleventh year of writing great content, career advice and exploring the research on advancing women at work and to that end we are looking for great writers, guests posts and people to profile.

For profiles: we profile senior women (Voice of experience profiles are for C level, SVP and Managing Directors ) and amazing “Mover and shakers” (VP’s ) in financial and professional services, technology firms and Fortune 1000 companies. We tend to not cover entrepreneurs because we believe the value of the glasshammer and our niche is to inform and empower women when they want to stay in big business and navigate that terrain.

We have themes as well as columns so we are looking for women to profile for Black History Month, Asian Heritage, LGBT leaders to name a few. International Women’s Day is everyday for us but open to posts for the month of March also.

If you want to write (paid as a journalist ) or contribute (non paid as you have a bio for your own expert service at end of column) then email and send unique posts to louise@theglasshammer.com

Finally, we want to tell you about what we have learned eleven years and 8000 articles later investigating how to empower women and their advancement. The conclusion in one word is “coaching”. There is no force more powerful than having a good coach as it pertains to figuring out how to get what you want and have a solidly good time doing it. Nicki Gilmour, CEO and Founder of theglasshammer.com has launched Evolved People Coaching for individuals and groups.

If you want to reserve an exploratory chat at no cost to see if coaching can help you, please email nicki@theglasshammer.com to find a time to talk.

Lets make 2018 the best yet.

Theglasshammer.com team

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