Women in Corporate America Continue to Feel Like a Square Peg in a Round Hole

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women stressed

Guest contributed by Lisa Levey

Gender diversity is on the radar in corporate America after more than 10 years of research highlighting the economic benefits of women in leadership roles.

Companies have invested in gender initiatives that aim to support women’s advancement and diversify the leadership pipeline. Some companies have been at it for multiple decades. Yet, the results seem to be much ado about nothing.

McKinsey and LeanIn’s 2017 annual Women in the Workplace report on the state of women’s advancement recounts the sad tale – women fall behind early in their careers and the gender gaps widen at each step along the career ladder. And year after year the changes are marginally positive at best.

So what is going on? Why despite much effort on the part of organizations does the big picture of women’s place in corporate America look eerily similar to 10, 20, or more years ago?

The truth is that despite much effort, corporate work environments – developed by and for men – continue to be defined by masculine rules of engagement. In multiple ways, so many women at work continue to feel like a square peg in a round hole.

Masculine and Feminine Behavioral Norms Diverge

To understand the disconnect, let’s begin with the well-researched premise that masculine behavioral norms are deeply linked to hierarchy. Men think in terms of competition and increasing their relative positioning, aka power and status. Dominance behaviors often define their approach.

Translated into the workplace, this looks like men bragging about their accomplishments – accomplishments that often are inflated. This looks like talking over others and mansplaining – talking without interruption – to control the floor or from lack of self-awareness. This looks like posturing and talking a big game to get the upper hand in a negotiation. This looks like sexualizing women – perhaps unintentionally – or intentionally with the goal of marginalizing them by seeking to ‘keep them in their place.’

Women have been socialized to equalize, rather than to differentiate, resulting in a predisposition to share rather than to concentrate power. Stephen Lukes, a sociologist who has written extensively about power, contrasts the approach of getting an individual to do something they may, or may not, want to do with a far more sophisticated and cooperative alternative in which both those who do – and do not – benefit from the status quo have agency to influence the system. Women tend toward the latter.

Translated into the workplace, this looks like sharing credit, even in situations where others played a small role. It translates into women being more soft-spoken and less likely to put someone on the spot. It translates into women focusing on shared goals, rather than power differentials, in negotiations.

The Rockefeller Foundation commissioned Korn Ferry to study women CEOs to learn how more women can make it to the top. What they found was, in comparison to their male counterparts, women CEOs demonstrated far more humility, were more likely to credit others as playing a central role in their shared success, and were significantly less likely to self promote.

Leadership = Men, Masculine Norms Prevail

Not surprisingly, leadership in the business world has been defined through the gender lens of masculinity, rendering women lacking. How many times has it been said, “she lacks gravitas” or “she doesn’t have enough executive presence to be a leader.”

Studies show that women are deeply drawn to a sense of purpose and meaning, often connected to helping others and to women’s vision of making the world a better place. A longitudinal study of more than 700 engineering students at premier universities found that a central reason so many women leave the engineering field was a disconnect between their drive to solve problems that make a difference in people’s lives and their workplace experience of corporate proclamations rather than demonstrated commitment to improving society. Similarly the Korn Ferry study reported women leaders were driven by a strong sense of purpose, perceiving their companies as positively impacting the world.

Research by the OECD [an organization focused on promoting policies that improve the economic and social well-being of people worldwide] and UNWomen show that when women have greater access to economic resources, they spend those dollars on things like health care and education, bettering not only themselves and their families but also their communities in the process. Yet in the business world, where cold, hard analytical thinking is king, male leaders denigrate women’s emotions, marginalizing women by characterizing them as ‘not tough enough to make the hard decisions’ or ‘lacking business acumen.’ Why then are men, driven by emotion as they make risky trades on the stock market and pursue questionable acquisitions, [most of which provide NO economic benefit to shareholders,], praised for their gutsy decisions and held blameless for failures rationalized as the cost of doing business?

For most professional women, advancement is very important but, it is not their only goal. Thus, they are more likely to forgo an opportunity that does not fit into the big picture of their life at that time. Commitment and hard work are not an issue for women but the all-in, all-the-time definition of leadership that prevails is.[i] How many women start their long workdays having already fed their children, thrown in a load of laundry, answered some emails, made lunches and maybe even started dinner? Yet women receive messaging that they aren’t committed enough!
Bain & Company’s 2014 US gender partity research found that while women start out with as much, or more, career ambition than their male peers, after two short years on the job, their career aspirations decline precipitously while men’s remain constant.

Why the big drop? Women continually encounter the masculine leadership norm of the ideal worker who is singularly focused because they have a partner who deals with all the rest. What if we stopped telling women they aren’t committed enough at work? And what if we start telling men that they and their loved-ones are paying the emotional price for their no limits, masculine leadership model?

To make matters worse, it seems that no matter how women behave, they just can’t seem to get it right. Women who meet stereotypical gender expectations of being nurturing and accommodating – are deemed likable but “not leadership material” – while women who are assertive get kudos for possessing leadership potential but also judged as lacking interpersonal skills. Leadership or likeability – it seems women can only pick one.

The Problematic Value Proposition for Aspiring Women Leaders

When women in the pipeline look up, they see struggle because of their gender, little support to figure it out, and the need to combat even greater – not less – gender bias with each step up the corporate ladder. Feminine behavioral norms are devalued and even when women behave like men, they’re still judged lacking. Why then are we surprised when women don’t say, “Please sign me up for more of that?”

McKinsey and LeanIn’s 2017 Women in the Workplace report captures the struggle. Women progress at a slower rate than their male colleagues, despite asking for promotions at comparable rates and being no more likely to leave their companies. In fact, men report they are more likely to receive raises and promotions without even having to ask. Women in the study were nearly 5 times as likely as men to report gender played a role in their chance for a promotion or raise. Is it any wonder why women lose optimism in their career potential?

While men are doing more at home than their father’s generation, women continue to disproportionately shoulder the load at home, in many cases enabling their partner’s singular work focus. And the cycle continues!

Meanwhile many men can’t even see that the playing field is tipped, essentially invalidating the lived experience of their women co-workers. It makes me think of the many women’s voices that have been twisted and silenced for so long when calling out sexual harassment. Finally in this Harvey Weinstein epoch, women are being heard.

Contributor Bio

Lisa Levey is a veteran diversity consultant, having worked with leading organizations for more than two decades to assist them in realizing the underutilized leadership potential of women. Her current work focuses on engaging men as allies and partners. She led the design and development of the Forte Foundation’s Male Ally signature resource platform for engaging men in diversity work and architected a pilot program to launch corporate male ally groups. She blogs for the Huffington Post and the Good Men Project on gender norms at work and at home. In the spring of 2018 partnering with her husband Bryan, Lisa is launching Genderworks, a coaching practice for dual-career professional parents to support them in navigating the obstacles to gender equality at work and at home. Lisa earned an MBA with highest honors from the Simmons School of Management and a BS with distinction from Cornell University in applied economics.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Behaviors of the Incumbent Leaders and Their Effects on the Rest of Us.

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

The CEO Genome Project states that there are four behaviors that show up for senior leaders to set them apart.

A Genome project on anything is fascinating to me as it of course only can replicate on what went before and I am interested in futurism in conjunction with historical trends. Why? because otherwise from day dot until the end of time, we are going to have to live in denial that the legacy masculine trait data is skewing the potential of women and ironically modern evolved man. Why no one has really dwelled on this is a bit of mystery to me, or is it a conscious or unconscious omission? If we only talk about how old testosterone straight white American men have led, how do we expect women or other men who naturally are or aspire to not fit the mould of the stereotype?

The effect of us bowing to the patriarchy is serious. Lewinian Theory ( the foundation of organizational psychology and systems thinking) suggests that behavior is a function of our personality and the environment we are operating in. In real life, just about all of us can point to a female leader who has assimilated to what I like to call “Jack Welsh in a skirt” mode and with disastrous results for her and most who have to be part of that team. Yet, to punish that individual is to misunderstand the systemic forces and rewards that are real and active as long as the masculine trait pattern of leadership is considered the only one, or the superior one.

I have zero interest in stereotyping men into one group. I think there are amazing men out there but they too are subject to systemic forces that make them behaviorally choose (albeit consciously) to be people that given other conditions, they might not be.

This work is the key to Diversity. Diversity is culture work, it is not Noah’s Ark and until companies truly view it this way, there are only strategies to provide not real change to achieve.

So, in the meantime, if you want to navigate your career optimally and authentically, consider working with a coach who can help you.

Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com or nicki@evolvedpeople.com for a free 15 mins exploratory session.

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Workplaces that Work for Women: Experiences Matter – The 2018 Catalyst Awards

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By Nicki Gilmour, CEO of theglasshammer

My takeaway from the 2018 Catalyst Awards and Dinner is that owning your experiences is the first step and the second step is to not let them negate other people’s experiences if you are truly going to be a man or a woman who is going to see progress in our lifetime for gender equity.

Catalyst, the oldest and leading research and advisory nonprofit organization for advancing women at work, has a conference that is second to none for translating theory and research into practice with CEOs of major companies and theglasshammer.com was honored to attend the annual conference.

‘Workplaces that work for women, are workplaces that work for everyone’ was the theme and mantra of the day, with great companies getting to share some of the best practices that they have implemented to understand results beyond the rhetoric. And, the sub theme of the day was how to be a male ally or gender champion as men in the room spoke of how they wanted to see change. A stunningly sincere and impactful dinner speech by Carnival Corporation (Cruise Lines) CEO Arnold W. Donald, the dinner chair of the gala, created a genuine sense that some men really get it. Quoting Maya Angelou saying “When you know better, you do better” regarding gender equality and diversity. Mr. Donald spoke of his own experiences as a man of color while acknowledging humbly and implicitly that he knows experience does not in itself equal enlightenment; although for me, he was the most enlightened man of the day. It is so important to hear people and more importantly men to acknowledge that other people may individually or systemically due to their social identity (gender, ethnicity, orientation, nationality) have experiences that are not yours and that does not invalidate yours or theirs. I heard this man recognize his male privilege in a way which showed me real commitment to being an ally because his foundation was one of acceptance, not denial around his own gender’s historic position at work.

Deborah Gillis, President and CEO of Catalyst spoke at lunch regarding this topic of “how to” be a male ally or champion of women, advising the confrontation of the fact the level playing field has not always been there, and how men can “call it out” when everyone’s voices are not being heard.

She stated that Catalyst wanted to send out a beacon of hope in this watershed moment of #Metoo. She asked rhetorically, “How can we focus (on work), if we don’t feel safe?” and later in breakout sessions, Hilton panelist Laura Fuentes, SVP, Talent & Rewards, and People Analytics reiterated the need for psychological safety. Fuentes commented that behaviorial data was part of the ongoing evaluation and development process for managers which created an accountability to those who they lead and to the values and culture of the firm.

This method of actually measuring opinion and perception was also discussed by panelists from West Monroe Partners who took steps to formalize policy and communicate it in their firm. They did this so that perceived cultural norms such as time off and flexibility could be used positively and inclusively for all and equally implicit negative norms could be addressed also. Betsy Bagley, Senior Director and Consultant, Advisory Services, Catalyst and Katherine Giscombe, PhD, Vice President and Women of Color Practitioner, Advisory Services, Catalyst skillfully moderated this discussion around what actually can be done to create better workplaces for women with an organizational model worth checking out in Catalyst resource section.

Carla Harris, Vice Chairman, Managing Director and Senior Client Advisor at Morgan Stanley led a superb closing session with her usual candid and engaging style, opening with, “we cannot manage, the way we were managed”.

Harris explained first how to get to management and the important difference between performance and relationship currency. In her “pearls” (of wisdom) session, she explained how sponsors do not need to know the good, the bad and ugly, but rather, “the good, the good and the good”. She advised women and men in the audience to understand that performance currency has diminishing returns, as the baseline is always to do a great job but to understand that over time people come to expect excellence from you. She stressed the importance of relationship currency in the advancement formula. She also stressed the importance of improvement via feedback saying, “data is your friend, you cannot fix it, if you don’t know its broken.”

Regarding leadership and change regarding diversity, Harris stated, “I cannot believe that three decades later, we are still talking about the business case for diversity. If you still aren’t clear,” she quipped, “I will tell you right now” and went on to explain that it’s about innovation and to innovate you need a lot of perspectives and that comes from multiple experiences and that experiences are born from having different people in your team.

Harris explained that people need to be courageous in soliciting other people’s opinion and that the trait of courageousness is needed for intentionality to happen for change with accountability and consistency present.

The initiatives that were recognized this year were The Boston Consulting Group with their Women@BCG, IBM with Leading the Cognitive Era Powered by the Global Advancement of Women, Nationwide with Our Associates’ Success Drives Business Success and Northrop Grumman Corporation with Building the Best Culture, Leveraging the Power of Women.

Great work, Catalyst! And good luck to Deborah Gillis in her new role.

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Becoming a Great Leader: Managing Conflict in Teams

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Elegant leader

Guest contributed by CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke

Let’s face it: Most of us hate conflict. Even the toughest among us are at least a little uncomfortable with it. When faced with it, many leaders and executives tend to opt out.

But, here’s the truth: The best and most creative solutions often happen when people opt in to conflict. Not an all-out brawl or a name calling wrestling match, but a quality sharing of how we really feel about a decision or an issue. To do this a leader must create optimal conditions and their job isn’t to have the right answer, but to create the space for the project, team, or organization to wrestle together to collaboratively come up with an answer and move forward.

Our decade and a half of experience working with teams shows that when even one person listens to and reflects on the opposing opinion of a peer with genuine curiosity, the change in the room is palpable. That combination of vision, opinion, and passion, when combined with curiosity, leads the entire team to new possibilities. That’s the role of a healthy dose of curiosity.

Too often a leader unwittingly defuses the tension by determining the right answer, Maybe you have as a leader or have seen leaders cutting off discussion and taking things off-line when people get too emotional or listening to the loudest or the favorite voice, the one whose thoughts are usually the same as the leader’s.

The Value of Vulnerability and Curiosity

When teams are vulnerable and curious, they use the natural energy of conflict and discover that it isn’t my way or your way, but a whole new way. New ideas emerge. Instead of a fight, there is magic.

It starts with people opting in, becoming vulnerable, and revealing what they really think, feel, and want. This allows for a free flow of opinions which can be more or less judgmental but if combined with curiosity, not righteousness or defensiveness) can use the energy of conflict to become a smarter and highly innovative team.

We’ve seen it time and time again in our work. Teams that master the use of vulnerability and curiosity produce creative and innovative solutions not just once, but over and over again. They are more resilient and they bounce back from setbacks and failure. People on these teams feel engaged and fulfilled, and they have more fun. Just an aside: It’s probably no surprise that vulnerability and curiosity work wonders in personal relationships too.

Either of these qualities can instantly transform a team in conflict. Put them together and teams make quantum leaps forward. It only takes one individual to make a difference.

And, remember that you don’t have to let go of your judgments or opinions. Curiosity means having your judgments and being open and interested in a different perspective. Being curious means considering that there may be more than one right way, reality, or answer.

Stopping the fight for your right way and being open to the ideas of others and taking an interest in how the other person came to his or her conclusion. Listening with the willingness to be influenced via an open mind.

Some helpful phrases that help demonstrate curiosity and elicit another’s response are:
  • “Help me understand how you got there.”
  • “Why is this so important to you?”
  • “What is driving your strong conviction?”
  • “Tell me where I’m wrong?”
  • “Wow! That is very different from my view. How’d you get there?”
So, want to transform your team? Here’s how:
  • Be human and acknowledge conflict. You are the model. If you acknowledge when you’re uncomfortable in the tension and ambiguity, others learn they’re not alone.
  • Don’t go for the quick fix. The drive for efficiency in conflict is born from the discomfort of the tension, the ambiguity of not having the answer, or a fear of looking bad.
  • Get out of the right-wrong trap. Yes, we all want to be right, but do you want to be right more than you want to succeed?
  • Check for conflict. If you see people disengage, check it out. Encourage people to speak up, to have different opinions, and to hang in for the long haul.
  • Listen to the naysayer with interested curiosity. Even when you think a team member is a pain in the butt, step into his shoes and see the world from his point of view, sharing that out loud. You might be surprised what you find when you get out of your own way.

The benefits of being curious include getting outside of your own story, which opens a greater pool of information to generate creative ideas. This can strengthen the team’s learning and growth.
Making the other person feel heard and considered can shift the energy from defense to cooperation, opening the door to new, creative possibilities and therefore transitioning the focus of the team from power struggles to idea expansion.

About the author

CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are business consultants, speakers, and co-authors of The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team’s Competitive Advantage (November 1, 2017).

They and their organization, specialize in helping professional women, leaders, teams and entire companies learn how to transform conflict into creativity and innovation.
Many thanks

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Productivity – Is It All About Prioritizing to Feel Good at the End of the Week?

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

We all have tasks within our job that we like better than others, and most of us have some level of procrastination ability with the tasks we like less.

So, I use a system that works for me and it may work for you depending on several factors including how you think, learn and approach work as discussed in our “Do you know how you learn” career tip

I like to write down on a Monday morning all the things I need to do this week and then I assign priority- one being needs to happen ( like this weekly career tip column), to sales work (which I quantify by how many people I will talk to in a week), to admin and even life admin. Some things have a two, three, four or five assigned to them. If I get through all my ones, and half of my twos then by the end of the week I feel a sense of achievement and can have a reward of some kind. Possibly because I score very low on hedonism on the Hogan personality test this works for me and I can understand how other people would not like this feeling but the point is, there are ways to know yourself and get a system that works for you.

The next week I look back at the same list and ensure things dont stay low ranked. Even if it’s something I hate doing, I commit to making it a one within 3 -4 weeks( if that works for whatever the task is).

Have a go! It might help.

If you would like to figure out more about how you optimally work, Nicki is a qualified organizational psychologist and Exec coach. Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com or nicki@evolvedpeople.com for a free 15 mins exploratory session.

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Mentoring Professional Women at Work while Navigating Sexual Politics

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women working mentoring

By Cindy Krischer Goodman

The number of male managers who are uncomfortable mentoring women has more than tripled in 2018, with one in six male managers now hesitant to mentor a woman, a recent survey by the LeanIn.Org and SurveyMonkey found.

The survey results, considered a backlash from the wave of sexual harassment allegations known as the #MeToo movement, have sparked #MentorHer, a new campaign by LeanIn.Org. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of the nonprofit LeanIn.Org is calling for male managers to commit to mentoring women as a crucial component for equality in the workplace.

“We are at a pivotal moment,” Sandberg’s LeanIn.Org has announced. The #MentorHer campaign comes as the world celebrates International Women’s Day, a global celebration in March to celebrate the achievements of women. This year’s theme is a call to press forward and progress gender parity, a message Sandberg’s campaign embraces.

So far, Sandberg’s #MentorHer campaign has the backing of more than 38 prominent leaders and CEOs, including Disney’s Bob Iger, General Motors’ Mary Barra and Netflix’s Reed Hastings, who have committed to mentor women within their organizations.

The #MentorHer campaign is call to action to keep progress moving forward in advancing women to leadership positions. In a study on men who mentor women , The Harvard Business Review found receiving mentorship from senior males can increase compensation and career progress satisfaction for women, particularly for those working in male-dominated industries.

Why is Mentoring Important?

Maria Bailey, CEO of BSM Media, a 20-year-old social media and marketing firm, received mentoring from a half dozen male business leaders during her career. The mentoring, she said, helped her rise within the corporate environment of large public companies, and later succeed as a business owner.

“The best mentorships are based on shared values and professional chemistry,” Bailey said,

“Some men may be afraid now, but that will weed out people whose intention is not as strong in creating a mutually beneficial mentoring relationship. If a man really wants to help a woman grow her business or grow in her career, he will do that because great leaders are fearless leaders.”

Business executive Erin Knight, founder of a LeanIn Circle in Miami, said mentoring programs formed by corporations embolden female employees to become leaders but need protocols in place to encourage participation for both the mentor and the mentored. She comments, “I believe this will allow men to feel more comfortable participating.” At the same time, she said, “Women should continue to conduct themselves in a professional manner and seek the support of both males and females who share the same degree of integrity and professionalism.”

LeanIn.Org’s new survey findings on male hesitation to mentor females come as women already are underrepresented in most organizations, especially at senior levels. If fewer men mentor women, fewer women will rise to leadership, according to the organization’s findings.

On its website, LeanIn suggests men find at least one woman to mentor. Once identified, the organization advises the mentor to take give women specific input on the skills they need to build, give women skills-based feedback to improve their performances, put women’s names forward for stretch assignments, advocate for and open doors for women, and include women in opportunities to build valuable relationships.

Mentoring is on the Rise

Corporate mentoring is on the rise with about 71 percent of Fortune 500 companies offer mentoring programs to their employees, according to a study of workplace mentoring programs by Chronus, provider of talent and career development software. The study found the mentoring programs led to salary grade changes, higher retention rates and more promotions for the mentee and the mentor.

The benefits of mentoring are clear but evidence documented over the last ten years suggests sponsorship can be even more important because it entails people advocating for you as well as offering advice. Workplace experts consistently find mentorship and sponsorship play a key role in promotions and raises, stretch assignments and flexibility.

Unfortunately, women are 54% less likely to have a sponsor and 24% less likely to get advice from senior leaders, according to Lean In research.

The nonprofit has concluded that we all benefit when a colleague shows us the ropes and sponsors us for new opportunities; particularly when they’re more senior, as men often are.

What Stops Men from Mentoring Women?

The 2018 Lean In survey found half of male managers are “uncomfortable” working alone with a woman. According to a story we wrote in theglasshammer.com in 2013, the Center for Talent Innovation report named The Sponsor Effect, states that “senior men shy away from mentoring or sponsoring junior women because of assumptions about what that relationship entails. “

In a Harvard Business Review blog post, Sylvia Ann Hewlett, founding president and CEO of the Center for Talent Innovation, writes, “However, fear of being even suspected of an illicit sexual liaison causes 64 percent of senior men to pull back from one-on-one contact with junior women; conversely, for the same reason, 50 percent of junior women are hesitant to have one-on-one contact with senior men.”

How Can We Help Men Get Involved?

Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, Wharton professor and business book author, has a few ideas. In his LinkedIn article titled Men Are Afraid to Mentor Women, Grant said men should hold themselves (and each other) accountable for parity, such as including women in meal outings. He also suggests men avoid running from discomfort and talk to women about what makes them comfortable or uncomfortable. Lastly, he advises men to mentor women in small groups if they are terrified of one-on-one.

Richard Outram, CEO of Financial Acumen, a financial consulting and leadership development firm, said he has and will continue to mentor women. Outram, a former executive at Burger King Corp, Sunglass Hut International, PRC LLC and PricewaterhouseCoopers, believes men who understand the value of the male/female mentoring relationships will continue as well. He states, “It’s eye-opening at times to put yourself in a female’s shoes. Women and men are wired in different ways and we can learn from each other.”

Outram said while some men may be reluctant in the wake of the #MeToo movement, more corporations are making diversity a priority and comments,

“A lot of companies are putting structure and accountability around mentorships to ensure they continue to happen,” He continues, “I won’t say it’s critical for a female to have a male mentor to get to the C-suite. There are female superstars who have made it on their own. But there are a ton of egos in the workplace, so you want a mentor who will help you through the challenges and do it with the right mindset.”

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Opening Spaces to Value Women’s Voices: For Ourselves and Each Other

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 Guest Contributed by Ilene C. Wasserman Ph.DWomen Speaking

“I would like to think that things have changed for women at the workplace, but just when I let my guard down, I am reminded of the vestiges of the old patterns.”

Often, while working with senior executive women, I inevitably hear about the challenges of measuring up – of adhering to the standards that seem to be differently applied to men versus women. While ostensibly, conditions and opportunities have improved for women, the frequency intensity and amount of such comments seems to be on the rise. Some of what I am hearing includes:

  • When I speak up in a meeting, it doesn’t land with the same “punch” that it does when a man says the same thing — just a few minutes later. I say to myself Didn’t I just say that? When it continues to happen, I am tempted to keep quiet.
  • But when I do say something with force, I am often viewed as “too” forceful!

For decades, my colleagues and I have listened to this pattern of gender dynamic in meetings. More recently, the research that is documenting this pattern and the impact that it has on collaboration and productivity at the workplace as well as new words that are being used to describe these behaviors is gaining attention in the popular press.

Professor Victoria Brescoll from Yale University asked professional men and women to evaluate the competence of executives based on who spoke more often. Men who spoke more often than their peers were rated 10 percent higher. However, when women spoke more than their peers, they were rated 14 percent lower. As noted by Adam Grant and Sheryl Sandberg in a piece they wrote for the NYT January 12, 2015: Speaking While Female “women who worry that talking too much will cause them to be disliked are not paranoid; they are often right”.

Tali Mendleberg, from Princeton University goes on to say that while women may be confident in their views, “they’re not confident that what they have to say is valued, and that in turn shapes how willing they are to speak, and what is discussed.”

Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant are joining their voices on a regular basis to call attention to these and other issues of relationships at the workplace.

The pattern of “speaking while female” has consequences beyond the muffling of one person; rather it results in organizations and public forums missing out on a group of key contributors. It is critical that, together, we notice these patterns and be intentional about making changes such that all voices are heard.

In our book: Communicating Possibilities, we offer specific steps for noticing patterns using the acronym NOREN. NOREN stands for (1) Noticing, (2) Observing, (3) Reflecting, (4) Engaging, and (5) Noticing (Again).  In this case, how might we NOTICE when some people are speaking more than others while others are being talked over? In another blog, I wrote about micro-inclusions. A micro-inclusion is an act of stepping up and calling attention to the pattern of a man’s re-statement of a comment previously made by women is acknowledged in a way that links backs to and acknowledges the initial contribution.

OBSERVING is the active process of looking at how I, we and the organization might miss out on the contributions of some who are either talked over, interrupted, or who may be silencing themselves due to being less confident in the value of their ideas or are concerned about the consequences of asserting their voices.

REFLECTING is the ongoing process of taking what we notice, and consider what we might do, interpersonally, on teams and as a whole organization to create new patterns that are affirming and inviting.

ENGAGING differently – taking leadership to break the pattern and create openings and be an ally, by intervening interpersonally in a conversation or meeting, or structurally by initiating forms of contributing that mitigate barriers to contributing, and,

NOTICING AGAIN what we are creating together. How do we enact changes that are affirming, inviting and hopefully enable all people to see what they have to gain by enhancing the fullest contribution of women and other marginalized voices?

Change is a coordinated effort. We as women can do our part in noticing how we inhibit and silence ourselves. AND women need allies with each other as well as with our male counterparts to notice these patterns and enact new ways of listening, hearing and acknowledging each other to create new and better patterns of collaboration.

Ilene Wasserman, President of ICW Consulting Group is the author of Communicating Possibilities: A Brief Introduction to the Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM). She is passionate about helping her clients see the opportunities in diversity.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Are You Being Sustainable? Avoid Burnout and Disengagement at Work

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Nicki GilmourBy Nicki Gilmour, Executve Coach and Organizational Psychologist (www.evolvedpeople.com)

Let’s talk about stress. We all have it, but it’s how we deal with it that matters.

Days can go past very quickly and the news cycle and social media only provokes our limbic reactions further. Are you getting good quality sleep? Are you actually benefitting from exercise or wearing yourself out? How is your stress level affecting your socio- emotional competencies at work? Or, in plain English, are you leading and managing less optimally than you could? Are your clients getting the best from you? Are you feeling mentally good about saying yes and saying no in the right ratio? What toll is it taking on your personal life?

Dr Karen Wilson and myself have developed a coaching program for high (insecure) achievers who say yes and more all the time and are very successful. But, we help you be sustainable in your behaviors, throw away the thoughts and actions that are holding you back and let you be human and great at the same time.

If you would like to enroll in our 16 week program that starts in June, we are now putting together that cohort. The cost is $4000 per person.

Please contact nicki@evolvedpeople.com telling us more about you.

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Women at Work: The Importance of Strategic Support

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Aoife FloodContributed by Aoife Flood. Based in Dublin, Ireland, Aoife is Senior Manager of the Global Diversity and Inclusion Programme Office at PricewaterhouseCoopers International Limited.

International Women’s Day is the perfect time to celebrate the many achievements of women, and think about what more can be done to help them achieve their career goals.

The good news: women are more confident and ambitious then ever. This is one of the findings of a new PwC report – Time to talk: what needs to change for women at work – which looks at the views of over 3,600 women around the world from employers representing 27 different industry sectors. We focused on women in the pipeline, aged 28-40, because it’s at this stage that we start to see female representation gaps widen and the challenges of combining personal and career priorities increase.

Leadership aspirations on the rise

Women are more career confident and ambitious than ever; 82% are confident in their ability to fulfil their career aspirations, 77% in their ability to lead, and 73% are actively seeking career advancement opportunities. Furthermore, they have strong leadership aspirations, with 75% of women saying it was important to them they reach the top of their chosen career, namely obtain a leadership position. Women are confident, ambitious and ready to progress.

But the survey also highlights we still have a long way to go and identifies three strategies which are essential to creating a more inclusive working environment. One of these strategies centers on the importance of strategic support, ultimately highlighting that support networks and advocacy go a long way. In a nutshell women need strategic support.

Women need strategic support to succeed

Think of this strategic support structure as a series of circles. In the middle is the individual woman: an ambitious skilled professional who needs the confidence to put herself forward to achieve her career and personal aspirations. Fundamental to this is the support she gets from the circles around her: her workplace and personal support networks.

Time to talk

In the workplace, she not only needs a manager who will help develop her talent and advocate on her behalf, but a series of informal and formal support people and programmes. She needs role models of both genders to look up to and learn from, mentors who help her navigate the path to success and sponsors who can push her to the next level. Personal experience has taught me just how critical sponsorship and advocacy is. The two biggest career milestones of my career, which involved me moving into new areas of the Human Capital spectrum in which I’d no previous experience, would simply not have happened without male sponsors who on each individual occasion were advocating that I was worth taking a chance on when I wasn’t in the room.

In the world outside of work, the third circle, she needs a supportive network, from parents to partner, and friends to peers, that reinforce her career ambitions and work life decisions. For example, women might need to enlist family members and other people to take on more home life or caregiving responsibilities in order to allow her to be successful at work. Interestingly, 84% of the women in our survey in a relationship identified as being part of a dual-career couple and 80% of the women in the survey said they have support from their family and/or partner in their career ambitions.

Self-advocacy pays off

Traditionally, women have been uncomfortable with self-promotion. Our research shows that when presented with a promotion opportunity, women are much more likely to expect to get a tap on the shoulder from their employer; expecting their hard work to be recognised as a symbol of their ambition to progress. They are also hesitant to put themselves forward where they feel they don’t meet all the job criteria for the role.

On the other-side of the spectrum, however, the good news is that women are definitely being more proactive in pursuing their career goals. They are more actively negotiating for and seeking out the experiences seen as critical to advancing their career such as high-visibility projects and stretch-assignments. And our survey showed it is working – there is a strong positive correlation that the women who negotiate are getting what they ask for.

Women won’t succeed without formal and informal support networks. In the workplace, the critical issue is finding the right mix of push and pull to help women simultaneously realise their personal and professional ambitions. And in their personal life, women need to discuss balancing their career and personal ambitious and asking for the help and support they need to achieve these.

Women are more confident and ambitious than ever before, but they need to be able to self-advocate and vocalise where they want to go. This blend of workplace and personal relationships and support is critical to supporting and reinforcing a woman’s self-belief and catalysing their self-advocacy.

My advice to women this International Women’s Day is:

1. Think about what you can do to solicit greater levels of strategic support.
2. Reframe the action of ‘self-promotion’, which has negative connotations for many women, as self-advocacy.
3. This month, put your hand up for a stretch assignment you may be hesitant about, say yes to something you are not sure you are ready for, or schedule time with your boss to make your career aspirations known. Realise the power of self-advocacy and relish the results.

I know it certainly has worked for me. I wouldn’t have been involved in leading this research publication if I didn’t put my hand up four years ago to lead PwC’s first global diversity thought leadership project, something I had never done before. That decision four years ago has led to me being involved in some of my most enjoyable and career developing work, in addition to raising my profile both within and beyond PwC.

Find out more about the importance of strategic support in PwC’s Time to talk: What has to change for women at work publication: www.pwc.com/timetotalk

Follow Aoife Flood at @aoiferflood.

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Work-Life Integration…. Mixing Business and Pleasure Successfully

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By Chutisa BowmanProfessional-networking-advice featured

Why are some women executives able to mix business and pleasure more successfully than others? They do it because they are able to achieve better integration between work and the rest of their life. They function with the awareness that work and personal life are not competing priorities but complementary ones. In essence, they never lose sight of the fact that their personal lives have an impact on the way they approach their work.

Whether you have already reached the C-suite or are still working towards it, your ability to mix business and pleasure successfully is essential for personal effectiveness, peace of mind and success. Work-life integration is apparently a better choice, cognitively, than trying to balance between the two, according to research published in the journal Human Relations and the Harvard Business Review.

While the C-suite requires commitment, mixing business and pleasure should not be impossible. This is not about work life balance. It is about creating a life style that gives you whatever it is that you need in your professional and personal life. It’s about finding the combination of work and play, business and pleasure that works for you.  According to the Medical Daily, keeping work and life separate is not best for wellbeing and performance. The most successful executives are those who have an ability to achieve professional success without always having to sacrifice the things that matter in their personal lives.

So how do you know you have what it takes to mix business and pleasure successfully and achieve work-life integration? A good place to start is to acknowledge that work and personal life are not competing priorities but complementary ones. You must stop being fixated on balance. Instead, put your energy towards integrating what makes your heart sing, what’s fun for you and what you love to do, into your daily life.

Here are three things you can do to develop this ability:

Assess your current position. Looking at yourself as you really are and your life as it is now, is the first step in restructuring your life. To truly integrate work and life successfully, it is crucial to become aware of where you are functioning from, that is creating the life you currently have. The moment you take the initiative to become aware of your points of view, habits and behaviours, you are on the path to having true work-life integration.

So, first ask yourself these questions –

  • “Do you feel physically exhausted, mentally stagnant or find yourself without close relationships?”
  • “Do you react to everything, including things people say and to conditions outside your control?”
  • “Does everything become an emergency in your life?”
  • “Does your life feel chaotic, messy, topsy-turvy and has taken on an erratic flow?”
  • “Would you call yourself a workaholic?”

If you answer yes to any of these questions, your life and your work are probably out of conscious integration.

Clarify what is important and what will work for you. Do you know what you want to create as your life? What do you really want to create as your future? What are your priorities (business, work and personal)? It is super-essential to be clear about your personal interests and concerns—to identify where work falls in the spectrum of your overall priorities in life.

To mix business and pleasure successfully you must cut through the charade about priorities. Begin by making your work priorities crystal clear, and define them in terms of possibilities, priorities and in terms of outputs. Simultaneously, set the important priorities, concerns, and demands outside the office that require time and energy. The target is to have a clarity about both the business and your individual priorities and then to construct a plan for fulfilling all of them.

To know what will work for you, you need to take into consideration that life is constantly changing. The right mix for you today may not be the right mix for you tomorrow or next week or next month. Over time your priorities change. The one way to know you have an integrated work-life is the feeling of accomplishment, fun and happiness you enjoy every day.

Make a conscious choice and commit yourself to embrace work-life integration. To make a conscious choice to create a meaningful existence where enjoyment exists amongst all areas of your life, you have to make a demand of yourself: “No matter what it takes, no matter what it looks like, I am going down this path.” Be willing to be vulnerable and to stay open to the new, the unfamiliar, and the unknown.

Be open to all possibility and be willing to look at what you can do that will generate different possibilities. Choose to be ever aware and mindful, ready to shift strategy and tactics as the situation requires. Having this awareness will prioritize the activities necessary for success. Priorities make it easier to say no to distracting initiatives.

Chutisa Bowman is a Pragmatic Futurist, author and curator of Generative Woman Blog. She is best-known for her work in strategic awareness, benevolent capitalism, prosperity consciousness, Right Riches for You and conscious benevolent leadership. Right Riches for You is a speciality program of Access Consciousness.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily thhose of theglasshammer.com

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