From Anxiety to Impact: Rethinking Networking

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rethinking networkingFor many professionals, the word “networking” sparks anxiety. The first thought is often, “What do I have to offer?” That fear is common, but it is also misplaced. Every one of us brings value to a conversation—whether it comes from professional experience, nonprofit involvement, or simply shared interests. The key is to shift your perspective: networking isn’t about proving your worth, it’s about finding common connections.

Start with Shared Ground

The easiest way to overcome networking anxiety is to say YES. If you’re invited to an event with a networking component, you already have something in common with everyone in the room—you all chose to be there. That shared context is a natural starting point.

Simple openers like “What brought you here today?” or “How are you connected to this event?” instantly create a bridge. From there, you can move into the basics—asking what someone does, where they went to school, or how they became involved in the topic at hand. It doesn’t take long to uncover people you know in common, whether separated by one degree or six. That realization alone is often enough to establish connection.

Build Relationships Not Transactions

At work, your “natural” network already exists—the colleagues you speak with regularly to get your job done. But true networking requires more than functional interactions. Instead of viewing these conversations as purely transactional, approach them as opportunities to build relationships.

Why does this matter?

  • You may learn something new.
  • You may identify ways to collaborate more closely in the future.
  • And perhaps most importantly, those colleagues may become advocates for you when you are not in the room.

This kind of relational networking creates allies, not just contacts.

Expand into Adjacent Circles

Beyond your immediate circle lies your “adjacent network”—people in roles that intersect with, but are not identical to, yours. Building these connections offers two benefits:

1. It creates opportunities for collaboration and innovation.

2. It expands your sphere of influence within the organization.

Networking across these adjacent circles ensures that you’re not siloed. It positions you as someone who sees beyond your lane and values cross-functional insight.

Seek Inspiration and Learning

Finally, there is the “outer ring” of networking: people who inspire you, challenge your thinking, or offer perspectives you want to learn from. These individuals may not be immediately accessible, but reaching out to them can be transformative. Over time, relationships that begin with admiration can evolve into mentorship—and, for some, sponsorship.

The Accidental Network

I often describe my own network as “accidental.” In reality, it was strategically built without me realizing it. I wasn’t focused on collecting contacts. Instead, I was focused on impact. Building connections allowed me to expand my influence, which in turn created greater impact. The cycle fed itself: impact → influence → more impact.

Looking back, what seemed like casual conversations were actually the foundation of a powerful
network.

From Anxiety to Excitement

Instead of approaching networking with dread, approach it with curiosity. Who might you meet? What might you learn? What connection might spark unexpectedly?

The truth is simple: we all bring something to the table. Networking isn’t about rehearsed elevator pitches or forced interactions. It’s about shared ground, genuine curiosity, and the relationships that form when we take the time to connect.

So the next time networking makes you anxious, reframe it. Get excited about the possibilities—because you never know where one conversation might take you.

 

By: Tracy Castle-Newman, Founder of TCN Advisors, empowering businesses and individuals to achieve their full potentional through consulting, coaching and public speaking engagements.  With 35 years in Financial Services, spending over 28 at Morgan Stanley, she has built and led businesses that drove revenue growth, operational efficiency, and strategic innovation. Recognizing that talent is your most valuable asset, Tracy dedicated much of her career mentoring and developing the next generation of leaders, with an intentional focus on women. She is known for building like-minded communities and built the most successful community for female portfolio managers on Wall Street.

Tracy also coaches with the Evolved People team (owner of the theglasshammer).  If you wish to work with her, speak with Nicki Gilmour here.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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Op-Ed: From Imposter to Expert – My Five Steps To Finally Gaining Confidence as a Leader

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imposter to expertFor many people jumping into a new job or career path, imposter syndrome can feel like an almost inevitable side effect. As the persistent whisper in the back of your head spews insecurities about your abilities, you learn the ropes of work culture and try your best to block out those harmful thoughts of self-criticism.

For some, those feelings subside as you gradually gain confidence through experience. But for others, it can incessantly linger with no end in sight, clouding every accomplishment.

I was at a VC event in Miami while building my second start-up. The event was held in a club, and due to the VC’s pedigree, most attendees were male. The firm hosting the event hired models to walk around as eye candy to make the event feel “cooler” to the male founders.

I know this may seem hard to believe, but this was only three years ago, in 2022. I acted like I was supposed to be there, even though I didn’t feel like I was.

My inner CEO was trying to crawl into the corner and wait for the perfect time to exit, but she has goals to achieve and won’t reach them by sitting in the corner and leaving early.

Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is when we feel anxious and can’t experience success internally, despite being high performing in objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like “a fraud” or “a phony” and doubting their abilities. With imposter syndrome, inadequacy and competence are symbiotic. You attribute external success to things like circumstance or luck.

Limiting beliefs are intertwined with self-worth. Our programming is a culmination of things that have happened. When you haven’t done the work to understand the stories you’re telling yourself, you will operate daily from their subconscious, the 95% below the surface that we don’t see. (Picture the iceberg)

Five Steps to Increase Confidence

It can be frustrating to watch others take bold leaps of faith while you feel stuck on the sidelines, second-guessing every move. But contrary to popular belief, confidence is not something everyone is just born with, but a skill that you can build up with time. Here are five steps to start building that muscle:

Step 1: Pattern Recognition – The first step is recognizing patterns, loops, or mud that you find yourself often walking through. Create a note in your phone titled “Stories vs. Facts.” Whenever you catch yourself in a moment feeling stuck, pause and ask yourself: What Story am I Telling Myself Right Now?

Step 2: Future Casting – Close your eyes and picture that perfect day, and say it out loud as if it’s actually happening now. Sometimes it helps to picture the person you want to emulate in your life. Study them. Use them as your source of inspiration.

Step 3: Fact-finding – Look at the stories you’ve been telling yourself. It’s time to combat the stories with the facts. Think of the concrete examples that balance out your story. Acknowledge black-and-white thinking and add some gray to the mix.

Step 4: Reframe & Action Plan – Reframing is a powerful tool that examines a situation, thought, or feeling from a different perspective. In changing the framing, we change its meaning. Now that you have the facts, you can reframe your situation and add an action plan.

Step 5: Repetition Increasing – Confidence takes time and practice. You can’t expect to start playing the game of life at an expert level immediately, but these five steps will give you the practice you need to master the skills that will get you to where you want to go.

Taking Control of Your Career

In my first job out of college, my boss sat me down and told me a harsh fact: no one is ever going to look out for my career; that’s my job. “My work will speak for itself,” or that “If I just work harder, they will notice me.” That’s BS. No one can read your mind, and no one can see all the work you are doing.

I created a tool called “Managing Up Mondays,” where I send an email every Monday to the people who are in charge of my fate within my company or career. The format is simple:

Hey [Manager]! I wanted to start a weekly “what’s on my plate” email to help with three things. 1. Give line of sight into my priorities. 2. Get ahead of misalignment/strategy shifts. 3. Share any roadblocks or answers I may need from you to move faster. I also wanted to highlight a few wins from the week prior.
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When you take your career into your own hands, you will notice how much “luckier” you become. Fake feelings can lead to actual feelings. Fake confidence can lead to real confidence. Just don’t fake knowledge, experience, and connections. Those are for you to collect along the way.

Adapted from “Toxic Grit” by Amanda Goetz

By: Amanda Goetz is a 2x founder, 5x chief marketing officer, and was a single mom to three small children before finding love again. She spent two decades building and growing consumer-facing brands before shifting to writing, teaching, and coaching ambitious working parents on how to balance success and life. She graduated summa cum laude from the University of Illinois and, after hustling the streets of New York City for over a decade, is now testing out every sunscreen in the world on her children in Miami. And this October she released her first book, Toxic Grit.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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Nicole Young: Head of CRE Portfolio Management, Wells Fargo

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Nicole Young“At the end of the day, the impact I care about most is on people, helping them achieve what they didn’t think was possible and elevating the organization to new levels,” says Nicole Young. “The efficiency, output, and success that result from bringing out their best work are just byproducts of that focus.”

Young is a leader whose passion lies in transformation: unlocking potential in people, teams, and entire organizations. She shares how this mindset has guided her career, from CMBS to consumer lending and back to commercial real estate, where she now leads Wells Fargo’s portfolio management organization.

Building from the Ground Up

With nearly thirty years in commercial real estate at Wells Fargo, Young has navigated multiple facets of the business, from underwriting and origination to credit approval and even workouts during the Global Financial Crisis. Each role sharpened her expertise and resilience, but more importantly, it revealed her talent for building and shaping something from the ground up.

“I was fortunate to be asked to start from scratch and lead our small loan CMBS (Commercial-Backed Mortgage Securities) program, which focused on loans between 1 million and 15 million,” she recalls. “I started the group, structured how it would work, hired the people, developed the process. That was really fulfilling…it’s where I got the taste for building something from the ground up.”

After fifteen years in CMBS, Young made a pivotal decision to move to Wells Fargo’s consumer side, leading underwriting for the home lending group. The transition required scaling her leadership from 20 people to more than 1,700 while transforming the organization to be more efficient and effective. “That was a steep learning curve,” she says. “I had to really learn to lead with data… and understand how standardized processes are critical to making an organization of that size run efficiently and effectively.”

When Kara McShane, Head of Commercial Real Estate, asked her to return five years later to take on a role that demanded both large-scale leadership and efficiency shaped from the start, the decision was an easy one.

“I had always admired Kara’s leadership and knew I would love to work for her. When she contacted me about coming back to CRE, I was thrilled.” She continues, “Wells Fargo had recently consolidated its commercial real estate lines of business, but no one was managing the portfolio as a whole and making sure those businesses were acting and making decisions as one. There was a huge opportunity to create efficiencies through standardization, and I got to build the new Portfolio Management organization from the ground up.”

Today, Young’s group of nearly 400 professionals oversees capital strategy, underwriting, closing, and portfolio management, bringing consistency, efficiency, and risk mitigation across the organization.

“Kara’s vision of bringing those groups together and leading them as one unit has really paid off given that we are rated the #1 Global Real Estate Bond Bookrunner, #1 CMBS, #1 Bank Agency lender, #1 Construction lender, and #1 in Loan Syndications.”

Learning to Lead at Scale

As Young progressed into senior leadership, she quickly realized that success required developing new skills, most notably, learning how to lead at scale and communicate effectively across large, complex organizations. When she transitioned to leading a team of 1,700, she remembers her boss giving her valuable advice that fundamentally shifted her mindset.

“He said, ‘I need you to lead the people, not the work’…it really shifted me from feeling like I needed to be the subject matter expert to recognizing that I’m here to lead the people. They can be the subject matter experts. My job is to guide them, give them the vision, and make sure the organization is moving in the right direction.”

Young notes that another key part of leading at scale is mastering communication in many directions: down to the team, out to the organization, and up to executive leadership.

“With my team that means ensuring they understand the vision, are aligned around the priorities and the mission, and are inspired to do their best work to deliver for our clients. To do that, I spend a lot of time with the team individually and in groups.”

In communicating up and out to executives, regulators, and the board, Young explains, “It’s about taking the complex and making it simple, understanding your audience, and tailoring your message with the right level of detail.” For Young, effective leadership at scale depends on both connecting with her team and translating that insight for the broader organization.

Authenticity and Grit

Young’s experience learning to lead at scale also reinforced a few key traits that have consistently supported her success. Young attributes much of her leadership growth to a willingness to embrace new challenges and learn continuously. “I’ve taken on different roles throughout my career where I didn’t necessarily have deep expertise,” she says, “but I was always willing to dig in and figure it out. That willingness to learn and to tackle hard challenges is important.”

Young also points to authenticity as foundational to her approach. “I don’t put on a façade…I’m direct and frank, which some people like and some may not, but this is the real me. I lead my team that way, and I try to always be honest and transparent.” That straightforward approach, combined with high expectations, has helped her bring out the best in the people she leads. “One of the things I’m most proud of is the team I build and what I can help them achieve.”

Finally, grit and drive are an important part of the mix. “You can’t underestimate the power of hard work,” she notes. “It has served me well throughout my career.”

Believing in Others as They Believed in Her

While Young’s drive, authenticity, and willingness to take on challenges were essential building blocks to her career progression, she is quick to credit the support she received from both Wells Fargo and the people around her. Early on, she balanced career ambitions with family responsibilities, working part-time as a young mother while continuing to excel in her role.

“People saw my potential and believed in me—Wells Fargo believed in me—and were willing to wait until the time was right for me to step into bigger roles…I appreciate that I was given the time and space when I needed it and I try to do the same for my team.”

Now, Young pays that support forward. “When I see someone’s potential, I bring them in, help them develop, and give them a platform to grow. Sometimes that even means helping them move to other parts of the organization where they can expand their skills.”

Bringing Out the Best

The commitment to lifting others up naturally extends into how Young leads her own team. A defining principle of her leadership is written clearly on her whiteboard: What did I do today to make the team better?

“I spend time really trying to figure out what motivates people individually and collectively as at team to bring out the best in them. I give stretch assignments that get them to do more than they think is possible,” she explains. “When they’ve done the work, I make sure they’re the ones presenting it. They deserve the visibility and the access to other leaders.”

That people-first philosophy is both Young’s leadership signature and her source of fulfillment. She finds meaning in seeing her team grow, whether it is employees she once hired fresh out of college who are now thriving across the organization, or former team members who choose to come back and work for her again. “That to me is amazing,” she says. “Seeing people’s success and knowing you had a part in getting them there is truly fulfilling.”

Even after building multiple teams and functions, Young remains motivated by challenge and transformation. “We have a few more years before this group is a completely well-oiled machine… but it’s exciting to see the impact. Ultimately, success isn’t just efficiency—it’s the growth and fulfillment of the people I lead.”

By Jessica Robaire

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Op-Ed: Small Moves, Big Life – How to Reclaim Energy and Beat Perfectionism

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beat perfectionism small movesPerfectionism often masquerades as excellence. In high-stakes careers – finance, law, tech, medicine, consulting – it’s seen as a strength. You get praised for high standards, rewarded for over-functioning, and quietly expected to do more than most. But beneath all that output, perfectionism takes a toll.

It’s not just a mindset – it’s a tax on your time, nergy, and cognitive capacity. It chips away at your ability to delegate, pause, and make clear, strategic decisions. It steals presence and sustainability, replacing them with exhaustion and self-doubt. Burnout runs rampant. Morning Consult even found that half of employed women say they are feeling burnout at work, with younger women most likely to report burnout.

The good news? You don’t need to overhaul your entire life to reclaim clarity and power. You just need to interrupt the pattern. Let’s step out of performance mode and stop chasing balance – instead, let’s move into momentum and into a rhythm that actually supports your leadership.

If you’re a woman in leadership, you’ve likely internalized the need to be both exceptional and approachable, competent and warm, relentless and easy to work with. I’ve lived this pressure myself. When these double standards conflict, perfectionism often becomes the strategy to hold it all together. But it’s a brittle kind of control. Perfectionism doesn’t make you better; it makes you smaller. It narrows your focus to what’s missing or wrong, keeping your nervous system in a state of low-level threat. You don’t need to stop striving. But you do need to create space to lead from your whole self – not just the over-functioning version of you.

Micro-Movement and Breathwork as Cognitive Performance Tools

Your body is your most underutilized leadership asset. Movement and breath aren’t just about fitness – they’re regulation tools that directly impact how you think, lead, and recover.

Even short bursts of movement can sharpen your mind, creating real, impactful change. Physical exercise helps all sorts of issues, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. It can also improve memory, focus, and cognitive flexibility. Breathwork does the same. Short, daily breath practices reduce stress and enhance our moods – and anyone can do it! That’s not about mindfulness as a buzzword; it’s about giving your brain a reset switch.

This isn’t about squeezing in one more thing. It’s about strategic interruption. Small, intentional pauses that pull you out of survival mode and back into presence.

Three Daily Small Moves for Energy and Follow-Through

You don’t need a total lifestyle change. You need easy ways to show up with full energy. You need consistent rituals that ground and energize you, not exhaust you. These three practices are simple, evidence-based, and designed to support you in even the most demanding roles.

1. Start with Breath Before Screens

Give yourself five minutes before opening your inbox, calendar, or Slack. Try box breathing (4-4-4-4) or even just slow, nose-only breathing with your feet on the floor. It’s not about finding peace; it’s about claiming presence. This short ritual sets your brain up for clearer decisions all day long.

2. Use Movement as a Reset, Not a Workout

Instead of planning hour-long gym sessions, insert movement in between meetings, emails, and strategy sessions. Focus on mini workouts – small bites, not the whole pie! A few pliés at your standing desk. Spinal twists before a call. Even a 10-minute walk boosts energy and clarity. You can improve your mood and reduce fatigue without disrupting productivity or even leaving your desk.

3. End the Day with Recovery Rituals

Leadership requires recovery, and a big part of letting our brains and bodies recover is getting quality sleep. Even 10 minutes of downshifting like gentle stretching, breathwork, or a hot bath before bed helps close the stress loop and tell your body it’s safe to rest. Shutting off those screens can’t hurt either! High performance doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from knowing when to pause.

You’ve likely spent years mastering how to be productive. What you may not have practiced is how to feel well while doing it. Instead of pushing harder and harder, try staying connected to your body, your breath, your values, and your energy. Small moves in your day-to-day rhythm can unlock bigger changes than any new planner, time-blocking app, or performance metric ever could. It starts with 30 minutes throughout your day.

By: Andrea Leigh Rogers, celebrity trainer, entrepreneur, and founder of the global fitness brand Xtend Barre. In her new book, Small Moves, Big Life: 7 Daily Practices to Supercharge Your Energy, Productivity, and Happiness (in Just Minutes a Day) (BenBella Books // October 7 2025)

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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Angela Cruz: Sales Effectiveness Leader, Sales Excellence, Accenture

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Angela Cruz“One of my love languages is acts of service, and at work, I manifest that through mentoring, supporting career advancement, anything that fosters engagement,” says Angela Cruz. “It’s how I bring to life a part of me that’s very important to my soul.”

For Cruz, the work matters, but it is the people, the learning, and the community that make it meaningful. She shares how through every chapter of her journey, authenticity, connection, curiosity, and service are the compass guiding both her growth and her leadership.

From Technical Skills to Personal Alignment

Moving from the Dominican Republic to the United States at fifteen, Cruz faced the dual challenges of learning English and adapting to a new culture, yet she remained optimistic about the possibilities ahead. She started her studies at a community college, the most affordable and accessible option, and explored different paths before settling on electrical engineering. The choice was pragmatic rather than inspired. “It wasn’t a calling,” she reflects. “I wanted to finish college with a career that had a financially stable future, and technical careers were very well paid.”

That practical decision laid the foundation for Cruz’ first professional chapter at AT&T Bell Labs, where she spent 15 years. She describes it as “like what working for Google or Apple is today,” a place defined by PhDs and cutting-edge innovation. “That’s where I grew up professionally,” she says. But just as important, “that’s where I also learned about corporate culture… to get involved in passion projects that contributed to the culture of the team and the company.”

After more than a decade in technical roles, Cruz realized her personality aligned more naturally with business development. Marketing became a bridge into sales, where she discovered the work felt intuitive. “Sales isn’t something you really learn in a university,” she explains. “It was something I evolved to, and it had a lot to do with my personality—my ability to connect people and build relationships, which is the heart of what sales is.”

Cruz’ combination of technical grounding and people-centered skills propelled her into sales leadership across the telecommunications and software platform landscape. Today at Accenture, she brings those same strengths to her role as Sales Effectiveness leader for Sales Excellence.

“I’m in a sales-effectiveness role, helping account teams bring innovative solutions to clients, all anchored on GenAI and Agentic Architecture. To be in a role that is so relevant to what’s business reinvention and transformation– it’s a huge privilege.”

Connection, Adaptability, and Purpose

The qualities that have carried Cruz forward extend well beyond relationship-building; she describes how cultural alignment, adaptability, and purpose also play a defining role.

“I learned at a certain point in my career what my strengths were in terms of cultural alignment. When I transitioned into sales, I worked a lot with Caribbean and Latin America, which is where I come from. Having the dual language and the cultural sensitivity gave me an edge in navigating that transition, which was very motivating for me.”

That shift into sales also coincided with a move from New Jersey to Miami, which tested and reinforced her adaptability. “Flexibility, being open to adjust to different environments, adapting to new circumstances, it’s something I learned very early on, and that trait has helped me along the way as I navigated my career.”

While connection and adaptability opened doors, purpose is the force that sustains Cruz.

“Every company I’ve been at, I’ve always combined my responsibilities with volunteer work both within the company and within the community. That’s what has kept me with a high level of enthusiasm for what I do. I always need to have the two: not just the job, but also the engagement.”

Leaning on Guidance

As much as Cruz’ strengths have contributed to her achievement, so too are the people who believed in her potential. “I’ve always had a personal board of directors. Some people come into your life for a season, for a reason, or for a lifetime. I’ve had all those types of influences.”

Cruz highlights the mentor who gave her a chance when she had no sales experience and sponsored her move to Miami. “I experienced impostor syndrome in the beginning, but his encouragement eased the transition.  He’s always been invested in my success and has been there through every career milestone.”

That kind of support has remained important at every stage of her career. When Cruz joined Accenture through an acquisition, she recalls how overwhelming the transition felt. “When you come as a group that was just acquired, you’re completely lost. But I was fortunate to work with people like Alex Tyler, a Managing Director and extraordinary leader who was kind, patient and recognized my value.”  Those experiences of being championed are at the heart of why she invests so deeply in others. “I know the power of sponsorship, mentorship, and advocacy. I’ve fully taken advantage of it, and that’s why I feel so strongly about paying it forward!”

Family is also a grounding force. Cruz credits her grandmother, now 101, as a pillar and role model. “She had 13 kids, and now there are about 169 family members over five generations. She’s taught me resilience, strength, faith, and positive mindset. She loves music, she’s witty, light-hearted and full of joy. She’s been a huge influence and my source of inspiration.”

Bring Your Full Self and Build Community

Nearly four decades after making the pivotal decision to study electrical engineering, Cruz was invited to return to her alma mater to deliver the commencement address.  Speaking to over 1,800 graduates, many from underrepresented backgrounds, her message was both simple and profound: “Always be proud of who you are, and bring your full self to whatever environment you’re in. It’s what makes you unique, and the world needs you as an individual and what you bring to the table.”

Second, she highlighted the importance of building community. “I’ve moved and started over several times. Managing those transitions successfully is only possible when you make community, when you connect with people, when you find affinity and appreciate differences. The differences are where you learn.”

For Cruz, this same principle applies in business. Networking, she explains, is less about career advancement than about deepening understanding. “That’s where you really learn –when you connect with people in different companies that do different things than you do. It enriches you as a professional and as a person.”

Continuous Learning, Lasting Pride

Even at this stage of her career, Cruz challenges herself to try something new, recognizing that part of her success is a willingness to evolve. “Continuous learning has been a key driver,” she reflects. “I have reinvented myself quite a few times because I’ve always been open, flexible, and curious to learn.”

Her current position at Accenture is a clear example of that mindset in action. “This was a stretch assignment for me. While I had worked in Sales Operations in the past, the scope is much broader here, in fact is called Sales Excellence for a reason, best in class. There was a lot I needed to learn… and I said, yes, I’ll do it.”

Cruz reflects on the impact of that choice. “Fast forward one year, I feel very privileged and successful, because I helped the team achieve the goals the firm established. It fills me with a lot of pride.”

When it comes to her greatest accomplishment, however, Cruz does not look to her career. “I have very strong family values and my kids are a huge source of pride for me. They are grown and very successful professionals – my older son is in cybersecurity at Zendesk, my younger son is a digital content producer with the Miami Heat, and my daughter works for the president of TelevisaUnivision. I raised them as single parent, and to me, that is, besides work or anything else, my biggest accomplishment. They are my anchor and my beacon of light.”

By Jessica Robaire

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