Op-Ed: 5 Ways Women Leaders Can Build a Respect-Rich Workplace Culture

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Leaders Build RespectIn today’s high-stakes, high-performance industries, from finance and law to tech and consulting, one often-overlooked leadership skill can quietly make or break teams, productivity, and profits: respect.

Workplace incivility, or persistent disrespect, now costs U.S. businesses a staggering $2 billion per day, according to Gallup estimates. That’s not just a human problem – it’s a bottom-line problem. A Harvard Business Review study found that 50% of employees who experienced workplace incivility reduced work effort, and 12% left their jobs.

And for women in leadership roles, the stakes are sometimes higher. When we lead, we’re often scrutinized more harshly and held to different standards. But we also have a powerful opportunity to model a leadership style that encourages loyalty, psychological safety, and measurable success.

As the former CEO of Syms Corp., the first off-price retailer of its kind, I learned early on that cultivating respect wasn’t a luxury. It was a leadership imperative. In a male-dominated industry, I rose to become the youngest female president of a company listed on the New York Stock Exchange. And I did it by building a culture where people felt seen, valued, and heard. That’s still rare. But it shouldn’t be.

In my upcoming book, Leading with Respect, I argue that creating a workplace grounded in dignity is no longer optional – it’s the most sustainable way forward in today’s anxious, fast-moving professional landscape. With 31% of employees feeling disengaged, according to Gallup, now is the time for leaders to focus on improving performance, collaboration, and retention.

Below are five ways women executives can lead with respect and reshape the cultures they’re part of, from the top down.

1. Set the Tone Early and Often

Respect starts at the top. Leaders who model respect and inclusion empower others to do the same. If you ignore microaggressions, tolerate dismissiveness, or let egos dominate meetings, your silence sets the tone. So does your presence.

Whether you’re onboarding a new analyst or presenting to the board, show up in a way that centers clarity, presence, and attentiveness. Respect isn’t about being “nice” – it’s about creating space for everyone to contribute meaningfully.

In team meetings, implement a simple practice of rotating who leads or facilitates. This democratizes airtime and signals that hierarchy doesn’t override value.

2. Listen Like It’s a Leadership Skill (Because It Is)

Too often, leadership is associated with speaking. But in high-performing firms, real power comes from listening. Employees, especially those in early or marginalized career stages, might not volunteer truth unless they trust you’re genuinely open to hearing it. And we know women are interrupted 50% more often than men in professional settings, so let’s interrupt that pattern with active listening. This also builds psychological safety, which makes employees feel more comfortable. When people feel heard, they stay engaged. When they don’t, they quietly check out.

Replace “Any questions?” with “What’s not clear yet?” or “What am I missing from your perspective?” These prompts unlock better dialogue and better data.

3. Respect Boundaries – Yours and Theirs

Respect also means knowing when to pause. In industries where overwork is normalized (“hustle culture”) and availability signals loyalty, boundary-setting can feel risky. But leaders who respect their own limits model sustainability. And those who acknowledge their team’s personal and professional boundaries earn deeper trust.

It’s especially vital for women leaders to reclaim time and enforce boundaries as part of workplace culture, not despite being ambitious, but because of it.

Normalize “focus hours” on team calendars. Publicly support people who decline late meetings or take full parental leave. Set the example without apology.

4. Reward Integrity Over Optics

Too often, loud performers get the spotlight while quiet excellence goes unnoticed. If your culture rewards only visibility, you risk alienating the very people who keep your business running with consistency and integrity.

Women leaders are uniquely positioned to challenge performative cultures by rewarding substance over showmanship. Promote those who lift others, not just themselves.

In performance reviews, build in metrics for collaboration, mentorship, and ethical decision-making, not just revenue or output.

5. Be Explicit About Inclusion and Act on It

Don’t assume that respect will trickle down. Cultures of inclusion must be intentionally built. That means regularly reviewing who’s in the room, who gets airtime, and who’s being overlooked.

When women in leadership elevate others, especially across lines of identity and background, we disrupt exclusionary systems that thrive in silence.

Create sponsorship programs, not just mentorship ones. Advocate for underrepresented voices when promotions, stretch projects, or visibility opportunities arise.

Respect Isn’t Soft; It’s Smart

In the boardroom, courtroom, or C-suite, respect is not a sentiment. It’s a strategy. And while it costs nothing to implement, it pays dividends across every business metric that matters. According to Deloitte, leaders who model respect and inclusion significantly outperform those who don’t.

For women in leadership, leading with respect is also a form of defiance. It says: I don’t have to emulate toxic models to succeed. I can build something better, and I can bring others with me.

In a world where too many companies are quietly cracking under the weight of incivility, women executives have the power and responsibility to lead differently. To lead with respect.

By: Marcy Syms is a social entrepreneur, philanthropist, and the former chair and CEO of Syms Corp., the first truly off-price retail chain in America. Her forthcoming book Leading with Respect: Adventures of an Off-Price Fashion Pioneer (Citadel // August 26, 2025) explores how respect-focused leadership fuels performance and purpose in today’s workplace.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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Sally J. Clarke: Entrepreneur and Author

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Sally J Clarke“It took me a long time to realise that I am a verb, not a noun,” says Sally Clarke. “That’s why I now have a portfolio career.”

From leading communications at some of the world’s largest fintech companies to writing novels, building a business, and advising boards, Clarke has consistently evolved while staying true to her values of creativity, integrity, and impact.

Clarke shared with The Glass Hammer her experiences in shaping a career defined by movement, meaning, and a refusal to be boxed in.

On embracing a portfolio career:

“At the world’s largest financial technology companies, I led global marketing and communications over an eleven-year period. I’ve built and sold an online arts business, won multiple awards in the technology industry, published my fiction novel  Ringside Gamble, established the advisory practice of Asia’s leading think tank, visited Iran and Kazakhstan on writing assignments, sat on several boards across both the arts and technology sectors, and am now writing two new books. One non-fiction and the other fiction.

“It took me a long time to realise that I am a verb, not a noun. That’s why I now have a portfolio career. From my home in Singapore, I divide my time between advising technology companies solving complex problems, writing, and participating on boards.  My career continues to be an evolutionary process, not a ladder, but a landscape.”

On the personal qualities that shaped her path:

“I’m an optimistic team player — resilient and reflective. I was born into a working-class family and had my first job at the age of 14, delivering newspapers in rain, sunshine, sleet, and snow on my not-so-trusty, rusty bicycle. To this day, I can still remember the click-clacking sound the pedals made! I supported myself and earned scholarships through university and two postgraduate Master’s degrees — one in International Finance and the other in Asian Art History. I work hard to stand in the other person’s shoes.”

On living her values in high-stakes moments:

“Thanks to my parents, I have an internal compass forged in tungsten, a North Star I’ve trusted throughout my life.  I take time to reflect and rely on qualitative as well as quantitative data when forming decisions.

“In Singapore, I faced significant pressure to tell a potential customer at one firm that we had paid pilots — when the company did not. The same founder misinformed about the readiness of the software, employed bullying tactics and took credit for other people’s achievements. As a consequence I found opportunities aligning to my integrity and transitioned from the firm.

“The second challenge was leading the development and rollout of a content management system (CMS) and the front-end client interface. I pitched and secured USD two million in funding to lead a team of developers, designers, and project managers to rapidly build a web platform for data distribution. When it came time to go-live, self-doubt crept in. Many people told me the CMS would be rolled back — I had countless sleepless nights. But I trusted the process, and the so-called Greek chorus of naysayers was wrong.”

On mentorship and the power of stories:

“I’ve had the honour of working on the teams of some incredible people, such as Michael Rushmore who was pivotal in contributing to the growth of IHS Markit, a company I joined as head of marketing and communications in 2007.  Data giant S&P Global agreed to buy IHS Markit in a deal worth $44 billion in November 2020.  Michael had phenomenal insights, which I still share to others.  For example, “don’t make them have to work it out.” This golden nugget refers to the importance of communicating in such a way that your ideas land.

“Cristobal Conde former President, Chief Executive Officer and FIS and Chief Executive Officer at SunGard is a leader I admire.  He was incredibly supportive of the sustainability framework I helped build during my time at the latter firm.  At SunGard I won the President’s 100 per cent award.

“I read. A lot. Both fiction and non-fiction. Some of my favourite start up books, Shoe Dog by Nike co-founder Phil Knight,  Start Up CEO, by Matt Blumberg,   Play Nice but Win, by Michael Dell, and  Venture Deals: Be Smarter than your Lawyer and Venture Capitalist by Brad Feld and Jason Mendelson are examples.  I am inspired by stories. Indra Nooyi , former Chairman and CEO of PepsiCo, is another business leader I follow, and can thoroughly recommend My Life in Full.”

On how she leads with positivity and empathy:

“One piece of advice that shaped me early on was: “Don’t wait for permission.” It gave me the confidence to lead with conviction, long before I had a formal title. That mindset has served me well: whether I am building global brands, launching a start-up, or navigating difficult company mergers.

“But perhaps more influential than any single piece of guidance has been the example set by the leaders I’ve most admired. They led with clarity, composure, and care, especially in high-pressure situations. They didn’t command attention with noise; they earned respect with consistency. And they made people feel seen.

“Something I’ve carried with me through every chapter of my career is this: always role model the positive. Culture is shaped by what we tolerate, and by what we choose to amplify. So even when things are tough, I make a conscious choice to lead with optimism, empathy, and purpose. It’s not about pretending everything’s perfect; it’s about showing up in a way that helps others believe in what’s possible.

“And finally, I’ve learnt that how you leave matters as much as how you lead. It’s easy to focus on beginnings, but endings reveal who we really are. Whether moving on from a role, a company, or a chapter, I try to exit with the same integrity and thoughtfulness I brought to work itself.”

On redefining success:

“I often tell those I mentor that you can define success on your own terms, but only if you’re brave enough to step outside the conventional path. Early in my career, I tried to fit into other people’s expectations. It wasn’t until I started backing myself that I truly began to build things of value.

“I’ve learnt that leadership isn’t about knowing everything; it’s about being willing to go first, to take risks, and to bring others with you. I’ve built global brands, scaled start-ups, and now manage a portfolio career, and through it all, what’s mattered most is clarity of purpose, emotional resilience and having smart colleagues who challenge you.

“I would also say this: creativity is not a luxury; it’s a leadership superpower. Whether you’re building a business or writing a novel, the ability to imagine something that doesn’t exist yet and make it real is what sets great leaders apart. That, and the ability to walk away from what no longer serves you.

“Your career is not a ladder, it’s a landscape. Don’t be afraid to move sideways, take a leap, or build something of your own and test a hypothesis. Solving a big problem is where the real growth lies. If you opt to build a hobby business that’s fine too.  Just define what success means to you.”

On blending purpose with creative pursuits:

“I aim to continue supporting the efforts of sustainable companies using technology to make the world a better place. One particularly impressive firm I have worked with is Yokahu, a leading innovator in parametric insurance.

“That same sense of purpose carries into the passion projects that are a part of my portfolio career. In 2023, Ringside Gamble, a universal story about a young boy with a big dream, was published. Christopher Hatton (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Raven’s Hollow) is attached as producer for the feature film adaptation. I donate a percentage of the royalties to support the purchase of books and school equipment for children in Khao Lak, Thailand.

“With Deborah Overdeput, Chief Operating Officer of Innovative Systems, I’m currently working on a non-fiction book. It features a series of interviews with C-suite women, many of whom have founded their own successful companies or hold senior roles at the world’s leading banks and technology firms. More than a series of personal narratives, it is a testament to resilience, ambition and the power of choice. Each story shares hard-won insights, lessons in leadership and practical guidance for those looking to shape their own future. We’re currently seeking a publisher, with submissions expected to begin in September 2025.

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Spacious Presence: The Power of Self-Exploratory Writing

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spacious presenceIn life and work, when you feel depleted, overwhelmed, contracted, or lost, what you may be craving is connection—with yourself.

Whereas when you feel spacious in your presence and perception, you are more capable of holding the whole of life: the ups, the downs, the words and behavior of others, the changes of emotional weather within, and the ever-shifting waves of life.

You’re also able to act from a wider vantage point and feel more energetically centered at work and home. You are less reactive to circumstances, not allowing them to dictate your sense of yourself or the world. Instead, you are grounded in your inner truth.

One simple tool for returning to that truth is self-exploratory writing—a practice that invites clarity, emotional spaciousness, and inner alignment.

The Underrated Value of Simple Practices

The habits that serve wellbeing and inner harmony are so basic, so mundane, and so immediately available, we tend to overlook them—good sleep, anyone?—in search of a magic fix or a peak moment experience. Culturally, we undervalue what matters the most.

Burnout is a consequence of a culture, or internalized culture, that does not prioritize wellbeing. Managing burnout becomes a coping strategy. Within that context, self-alignment and self-care are the origin points of a woman who knows her innate value and that the paradigm won’t change unless how you regard yourself does.

Inner spaciousness can be cultivated through practices such as meditation, breathwork, mindfulness, contemplation, myofascial release, dance and movement practices, grounding—and reflective and expressive journaling.

Writing To Support Emotional Wellness

Author Natalie Goldberg wrote to the power of spontaneous writing to access your first thoughts: “The aim is to burn through to first thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor, to the place where you are writing what your mind actually sees and feels, not what it thinks it should see or feel.”

When we recognize that emotions are energy in motion, we can get curious about them on the page, which can also help clarify what motives are at play in decision-making. Exploring your feelings, especially the ones you often resist, can deepen your self-understanding, expand your emotional bandwidth and resilience, and point you toward aligned action with your values and intuitive knowing.

Reflective and expressive journaling, which focuses on what’s truly on your mind and heart, has been shown to increase emotional awareness and emotional wellness while enhancing your overall outlook. Ultimately, it becomes a practice in emotional intelligence.

Cultivating An Orientation of Gratitude

People who orient in gratitude experience lower levels of stress and depression and better relationships. With practice, you can improve your ability to tap into the state of gratitude, elevating your “set point” of perception.

Practicing gratitude enhances wellbeing—for example, supporting better rest, less inflammation, and peace of mind while reducing symptoms of anxiety or depression.

Writing to express gratitude can help shift attention away from rumination and heavy emotions, and train the brain to more readily access appreciation. Not only this, but the positive effects on mental wellbeing compound like interest, creating accumulating benefits over time.

Processing Complex Emotions

Writing can also help to unwind and process trauma caught in the body’s cellular memory.

When we feel safe, writing about traumatic events or emotional experiences can help to organize chaotic thoughts, release locked-up emotions, and facilitate mental clarity and resilience long term.

Expressive therapeutic writing has also been shown to support physical health and immune function across a range of conditions, while reducing stress, anxiety, and symptoms of PTSD.

Visioning Yourself in Growth

Expressive writing which focuses on self-reflection, gratitude, and imagining a positive future increases experiences of life satisfaction and happiness. In one study, people who journaled for 15 minutes a day felt significantly less anxiety, distress, and depressive symptoms.

When you uncover and explore a new insight on paper, remember a gift that’s gone dormant, or admit future visions or goals for yourself, you are bringing them into your awareness to galvanize energy towards them.

Neuroscience has found that when it comes to goals, people who very vividly describe or picture their goals on paper (men tend to do so more) are significantly (1.2-1.4 times) more likely to achieve those goals. Part of the reason is writing them down improves the biological encoding process by which your hippocampus drops a pin and says, remember this.

Creating Spaciousness Through Reflection

When you put what is inside on paper through reflective journaling, you create spaciousness—within yourself and between you and your thoughts. Often, you can discover how you truly feel through writing and increase your self-awareness.

When you are honest on the page and guided with revealing questions, you have the ability to externalize and explore the narrative, examine triggers, reveal thought and behavior patterns, recognize values, and reveal truths. Increasing your self-awareness, you can begin to see where you are locked into the past, or into thoughts and emotions, so you can come back to presence.

As Goldberg writes, “When you are present, the world is truly alive.”

Start Now: Five Prompts For Embodying Self-Respect

Why not start now? Here are five journaling prompts related to embodying self-respect that you can write to today.

  • What is one way you are keeping your word with yourself? How does it feel? What supports you to honor your intention?
  • What promise to yourself are you bending—or breaking? How does it feel?
  • What nurtures your sense of self that you regularly nourish?
  • What nurtures your sense of aliveness but you are not prioritizing it?
  • What is one thing you ache to give more attention and energy to? What are you doing instead that is a lower investment in your fulfillment?

In the practice of yoga, more than half the task is getting onto the mat. With expressive or reflective writing, more than half the task is getting onto the page.

So often, we stay stuck in the same mental and emotional energetic loops, but self-exploratory journaling in response to powerful questions can open new doors of awareness which allow us into more of ourselves—and more of our lives and our unique leadership.

Aimee Hansen is co-author of This Book Is a Retreat: 101 Soul-Nourishing Questions to Reconnect with Yourself to be released on August 22, 2025 (prior to that, available for pre-order), a co-creation with USA Today bestselling author, Marianne Richmond. She is the founder of Storyteller Within and has led the Journey Into Sacred Expression women’s retreat on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala for the past ten years. As a lover of the questions that open us, she’s inspired hundreds of women in writing their hearts into expansion.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)

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Marie Bober: Chief Compliance Officer and Senior Counsel, Moelis Asset Management

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Marie Bober“I naturally step into a role when there is a dearth of leadership,” says Marie Bober. “It’s just part of who I am – I see the need and think, ‘I got it.’”

From captaining sports teams as a kid to speaking up in moments of silence, taking charge has always felt instinctive for Bober. “I come from a really long line of very bossy women,” she laughs. “I think it’s probably genetic.” While her grandmothers ran their households with authority, her mother broke barriers, becoming one of the first women to earn a PhD in chemistry from NYU in 1972.

That inherited sense of purpose shaped Bober’s own unconventional path. She started college as a chemistry major but quickly pivoted to psychology. Drawn to forensic work, she earned a master’s and spent three years at a pediatric psychopharmacology lab at Massachusetts General Hospital researching ADHD and pediatric bipolar disorder.

“My plan was to go on to get my PhD, but research itself started to feel like a tough long-term path with low pay, questionable ethics in some corners, and not a great ROI if you wanted a sustainable career.”

Still captivated by the intersection of law and human behavior, Bober pivoted again, this time to law school at Northeastern University. Being a part of Northeastern’s distinctive co-op program allowed her to try a little bit of everything: working with a solo practitioner, in a judge’s chambers, the DA’s office, and an in-house legal team.

“In-house was by far my favorite, but you don’t just go from law school to in-house,” says Bober. Instead, she built her experience through small firms, auditing work, and ultimately opened her own practice while keeping her eye on the long game.

Bober’s diligence paid off when a friend offered her an in-house legal role at Gracie Asset Management, a Moelis subsidiary. The only catch was the job was in New York, which meant that Bober and her wife had to live long distance for a few years. When Gracie had a key man event resulting in steep layoffs, Bober moved over to the parent company. After a few internal moves – and the sudden loss of a friend that left a senior counsel role vacant – she was promoted into her current role as Chief Compliance Officer and Senior Counsel at Moelis Asset Management.

Breadth that Delivers

Looking back on what has helped her succeed, Bober points to adaptability and a breadth of knowledge, both of which are essential in a role that spans legal and compliance.

“To be in this particular role, you can’t be rigid or precious,” she explains. “We’re an entrepreneurial business…everybody’s got to do a little bit of something, and you have to be okay with that. We’re always thinking about new strategies, markets to tap and ways to get clients. It’s flexibility and a willingness to pick up the next thing and learn.”

Bober points to the growth of the business as another part of what requires adaptability: “when we started, we were private equity. Now we’re private equity, broadly syndicated loans, direct lending, seeding of emerging managers, venture capital.”

As the business expands, so too does Bober’s knowledge base, which is necessary for her to guide legal and compliance issues.

“I call myself a triage nurse because there are certain areas that I’m deep in, like fund formation or structuring, but then I also have to be able to direct counsel for things like litigation, tax matters, or employment. I might not be an expert on all those issues, but I must be conversant enough so that my subject matter experts can direct me effectively.”

What They Didn’t Teach in Law School

Beyond technical range and flexibility, Bober believes that one skill rises above the rest when it comes to lasting success: knowing how to navigate people.

“How to handle and approach people is key; it gets you so much further than even your technical knowledge,” she emphasizes. “One of the things law school doesn’t teach you is that if you’re a practicing lawyer in a firm, networking is 98% of your job. To be a partner at a law firm means that you bring in a good amount of business.”

Bober adds, “My boss likes to joke that he thinks that my psych degree sometimes helps me more than my law degree because it definitely gives you a framework for understanding people.”

That understanding shapes the way Bober communicates, builds relationships, and earns trust, especially in the context of leadership and knowing how to manage in all directions.

“Managing up is a skill that’s rarely taught, and it matters just as much as managing direct reports. I’ve learned how to communicate differently depending on who I’m talking to, and how to present something in a way that gets the right response.” As Chief Compliance Officer, she often needs people to act on specific requests and ideally, do so with genuine buy-in. “I’ve seen people try to lead through fear or pressure, but that only works for so long. Eventually, people tune you out.”

It is a message she impresses on junior staff as well: “be proactive, message appropriately, be polite and respectful, and if you make a mistake or get it wrong, have the ego to walk it back and take responsibility. It builds trust.”

Leadership as a Team Sport: Fostering Growth Over Competition

In an industry known for individual ambition, Bober takes a different approach to leadership; one that is shaped by hard-earned lessons and a clear sense of the kind of environment she wants to create.

“I’m a competitive person,” she says, “but I try not to be competitive at work. That’s not the environment I want to foster.”

Earlier in her career, Bober saw firsthand how toxic leadership can erode trust. She recalls a former manager who guarded her influence closely and refused to use any of her political capital to support others.

“When my mom passed away, I got two days of bereavement. Other department heads had given people the full week, but my boss told me if I wanted the extra time to attend the funeral, I’d have to use vacation days. She didn’t want to spend any of her political capital justifying why I was not billing or there for that week.” That experience left a mark, but also a guidepost: “It taught me exactly the kind of leader I don’t want to be.”

Now, as a senior leader herself, Bober sees mentoring others not as a threat, but as part of what defines strong leadership. She draws inspiration from Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a sport she trains in outside of work.

“My coach always says he never hides the best parts of his game because if someone can master it in two weeks and beat him, they deserve to win.” The same philosophy, she says, applies in leadership. “Helping my associate grow, bringing her along and giving her what I can to help her succeed doesn’t threaten me; it strengthens the team, and if I ever move on, she’s ready to step in.”

Success, On and Off the Mat

Whether she is preparing for a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament in New Jersey or aiming for another podium finish at Masters Worlds in Las Vegas, Bober brings the same focus and drive to the mat that she brings to her role at Moelis. A two-time Masters World Champion as a brown belt and now a black belt competitor, she thrives on the discipline and challenge of competing and on the fulfillment it brings outside the office.

That mix of ambition and purpose is intentional. “I strove to have an in-house position. I strove to have work-life balance in my career,” she says. “And I think I’m in a spot where I can do both.”

For Bober, success is not about chasing the highest title or the biggest paycheck. It’s about feeling grounded, challenged, and able to pursue what matters. “I can sing in a rock choir on Tuesday nights. I can do jiu jitsu. That’s what makes it all worth it.”

By Jessica Robaire

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