Being a Professional Woman: Managing Stress and Avoiding Burnout (Holiday Edition)

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leadership coachIt is the end of November, and we are closing out the year thankful the U.S. election cycle has wrapped, yet still reeling from natural disasters, several wars, and mind-bending news regarding sex trafficking allegations from rap music to US politics. Here in the U.S., it’s Thanksgiving—a holiday that can be joyful for some, somber for those mourning the loss of loved ones, and stressful, especially for professional women juggling hosting and cooking responsibilities.

With only so many hours in the day, being a professional woman in the sandwich generation—juggling the care of both children and aging parents—is undoubtedly one of the most challenging roles in today’s society. Balancing the demands of a career with the responsibilities of raising children and providing for elderly parents can lead to overwhelming stress, fatigue, and even parental or professional burnout. Women burn out at a higher rate than men due to many societal and organizational factors – including “broken rung” issues whereby women still get paid and promoted less than male counterparts during the entire span of their careers. After almost twenty years of exploring extrinsic elements and cultural enablers and disablers for advancing women at work, we can conclude that progress is mixed at best. This article, instead, focuses on how to thrive—rather than merely survive—the onslaught of the holidays as we can reflect on progress during the annual Year-End Review.

Prioritizing Self-Care

One of the most important things to remember is that taking care of yourself is not selfish — it’s essential. Nutrition and exercise are long term strategies as we know that you cannot pour from an empty cup. When you prioritize self-care, you are better able to care for your family and meet the demands of your career. We have all heard the ways to practice self-care which can include scheduling “me time” such as walks, baths, massages and anything that falls into the recharge category. This can be a little boost and certainly worth doing while also understanding that these “fixes” are temporary and usually short lived. Think of it as an “app” – it is great to use apps, and they can be helpful, but looking at the operating system and seeing what needs to change in how you approach your life generally, is really key to getting the longer-term support and rejuvenation you might be seeking.

Without sounding trite, maintaining a balanced diet is a crucial part of self-care—but anyone managing a busy schedule knows how challenging it can be when you’re constantly on the go. Right now, my children are outside my office door, and I will be required to stop typing and rattle some pans soon- sound familiar? Be aware of prepared meal services as they are an under-regulated industry and often high in sodium and other hidden unhealthy or even toxic ingredients. Physical activity is a proven stress buster. Somatic exercises that involve shaking can clear stress and trauma. Even a short daily walk can help clear your mind and boost your mood while building you bones and heart health for decades to come. Exercise also helps sleep and along with some new habits regarding phone and screen boundaries, you could feel the benefit of this change before 2025 even begins. Look for the wins. Social support, journaling and breathing all has been reported and researched as useful.

Setting Boundaries — At Home and at Work

As a working mom, one of the hardest things to do is say no. You may feel guilty about not being able to do everything for everyone, but learning how to set healthy boundaries is essential to avoiding burnout at work and home. If possible, communicate your needs for flexibility and remote work. However, be aware that in organizations lacking trust and supportive cultures, such requests may be met with resistance or even penalties. Assess your work environment carefully and understand your manager’s approach before addressing these needs. Despite news saying otherwise, only 33% of companies are requiring a full return to office with pundits indicating this could rise to 50% by the end of 2025. Hybrid is here to stay it seems. This is a fraught topic with more and more (white male) CEO’s mandating face time back in offices.

Even with remote work, the workload itself can feel like an impossible mountain on a daily basis. Organization and productivity hacks can be helpful in managing these demands. Dan Martell’s book Buy Back Your Time introduces the DRIP matrix, a tool that helps you identify not only what to delegate, but also what you can “replace” yourself on—tasks that seemingly only you can do. The deciding criteria for evaluation for keeping a task or hiring someone to do it is simply posing the question to yourself: ‘does this activity have high impact (production quadrant) and light you up?’

Not everything needs to be done today. Prioritize your most important tasks and break them into smaller, more manageable chunks. Recognize that it’s okay to let some things go or to reschedule less urgent matters. Use an Eisenhower matrix or a similar tool to help you parse the strategic from the important and the important from the urgent but not crucial. Play with time—it is a commodity that you can trade.

The same goes at home. If possible, divide household responsibilities among your partner, children, and even extended family members. Don’t shoulder all the caregiving alone. Your partner may not know what you need unless you clearly communicate it.  Other tactics include using outside help—if it’s feasible, consider hiring help for household chores, childcare, or even caring for your aging parent. If this isn’t in your budget, explore community resources or family support to lighten the load. Try to remember to ask for help. Eve Rodsky is really the most enjoyable author to turn to regarding “Fair Play” and she has a podcast and even a set of cards to use as a practical tool with your spouse. Early holiday gift? The mental load is real and even happens in LGBTQ families.

Give Yourself Grace

Over the holiday, leave the dishes for a while and see if others step in. Spend time with your children or elderly parents doing mostly things you enjoy. Laughing together, playing games, and sharing meaningful moments can help replenish your emotional reserves.

Being a working mother in the sandwich generation is undoubtedly challenging, as is being a professional woman without kids as the constant to-do list is there always. By setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, practicing time management, and seeking support when needed, you can manage the stress and responsibilities that come with your multiple roles. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Embrace strategies that work for you and allow yourself grace as you navigate the balancing act of family, work, and caregiving. Taking care of yourself isn’t just important — it’s essential for your long-term well-being and the well-being of those you care for. We need a better system but, in the meantime, let’s win where we can?

Happy Holidays from theglasshammer team.

Nicki Gilmour is the Founder and CEO of theglasshammer and is a coach and organizational development expert. We have several vetted qualified coaches specializing in different areas from career navigation to leadership development- please click here to book a time to speak if you are an HR professional looking to hire us for leadership development or a professional woman looking for a career coach proactively, we work with varying levels from VP to SVP/ C- suite.

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Stacie Mintz: Managing Director and Head of Quantitative Equity, PGIM

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Stacie Mintz“I took the initiative to lead before I was formally in a leadership role,” says Stacie Mintz. “You don’t need direct reports to be a leader. You can influence, mentor, and shine without the hierarchy of a team reporting to you.”

Starting her career at PGIM as an analyst in the multi-asset side of the quant business, Mintz set herself apart by making decisions when others hesitated, trusting her instincts and offering solutions. Rather than just alerting portfolio managers when money came in for the business to invest, she went a step further and proposed how she thought it should be invested.

“Nine times out of ten, the portfolio manager signed the trade ticket I presented, and when they didn’t, they explained why, which was a huge learning moment for me.” This proactive approach didn’t go unnoticed, and earned her a promotion to portfolio manager, where she eventually oversaw $10 billion in assets for the Prudential pension plan.

In managing the asset allocation for pension plans, Mintz recognized the important role equities played in meeting pension promises. Her experience in using both fundamental- and quant-driven strategies to balance risk and return sparked her interest in being more involved in the evolution of PGIM’s quant core strategies, eventually leading to an equity portfolio manager role.

“I was able to use my experience in asset allocation to contribute to the evolution of our quant equity strategies. I also had a knack for explaining complex quant concepts to a wide variety of audiences, which helped grow the business and retain clients.”

Throughout her career, Mintz successfully navigated difficult market cycles, which included the bursting of the dot com bubble, the Great Financial Crisis, and Covid fear-driven markets of 2020. The experience in managing assets and client relationships during challenging times, along with her leaderships skills, made her an ideal candidate to take on the role of Head of Quantitative Equity, a role she took on in July 2020.

Strategies for success

Reflecting on what it takes to be a successful leader, Mintz emphasizes the value of collaborating with colleagues who have complementary skills and always coming to the table with solutions.

“I tell my team to identify the problems, but always come to the table with solutions too. There is great value in helping drive the success of the firm through continual evolution.”

Even if it involves stepping outside of one’s comfort zone to propose solutions that could be rejected, Mintz encourages taking that risk to foster growth. Public speaking, for instance, is her own stretch area—though her numerous media interviews might suggest otherwise.

“Investing is a fast moving, competitive industry. To be successful, I tell aspiring investment professionals that they not only need to understand the importance of making good investment decisions on behalf of clients, but they also need to invest in themselves… it’s the best investment they’ll ever make.”

From graduating with her MBA from New York University and earning her CFA, Mintz knows how crucial it is to invest in personal growth and development. “Investing in yourself will always have a positive return and open the door to endless possibilities. It’s so important to continue to stay up to date on rapidly evolving industry developments, so we can successfully meet and exceed clients’ needs.”

Inspired to empower others

While many individual qualities have shaped Mintz’s leadership development, she acknowledges the vital role of support along the way and cites Maggie Stumpp, PGIM Quantitative Solutions’ former chief investment officer, as her greatest inspiration.

“Not only is she brilliant, and I learned a lot from an investment perspective, but she also gave me a lot of room to grow.” Mintz says. “She trusted me, and I knew I could always go to her with questions… She believed in me, even when I doubted myself.”

Inspired and influenced by Stumpp’s leadership, Mintz aims to foster a similar culture of support and empowerment and has an open-door policy. She encourages informal communication through quick morning catchups, providing a forum for the team to hear the latest updates, while also giving space for opinions and feedback.

“I want to make sure that I delegate real responsibilities to them, and they feel empowered and valuable. I want them to trust themselves to make decisions, and that I’ll support them.”

Supporting the next generation of leaders

For Mintz, part of supporting her team and the growth of the business means fostering the development of the next generation of leaders.

“I emphasize the importance of mentoring our junior team members to my senior portfolio managers, ensuring they’re engaged in meaningful projects that enable them to grow and develop, while highlighting their strengths and the value they bring to the team.”

She not only emphasizes skills development, but also being approachable and available to help with questions, especially around navigating the push and pull of work and home life. As a mother of three, Mintz knows how tough it is to build a successful career while raising children.

“It’s important to share the ups and downs of my journey, and how I got through them,” she continues, “There will always be bumps in the road where people feel like, ‘I can’t do this,’ but if we support them through those moments, it will lead to a more diverse senior team in the future.”

One key lesson Mintz reflects on is recognizing she felt “too much guilt” when her children were younger, particularly when she had to make tough decisions about prioritizing her time. Mintz recalls, “I was always urging my kids to be the first to raise their hands for class activities and parties, so we could buy napkins or paper plates or pre-made items – because that’s what fit into my work and family’s busy schedule.”

Now that her children are grown, Mintz acknowledges, “My kids turned out great, and I was a big part of their lives.” It’s the same message she conveys to her team when they are navigating the challenges of balancing work and family, “It’s going to turn out much better than it feels in the moment.”

With an empty nest, Mintz still values a work-life balance, but now has more time to spend on her own pursuits such as fitness, golf and travel.

By Jessica Robaire

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Maureen O’Connor: Managing Director, Global Head of High Grade Debt Syndicate, Wells Fargo

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Maureen O'Connor“I always tell people that the key to my success is loving what I do, because when you truly enjoy your work, it shows—and clients can feel that,” says Maureen O’Connor. “Over the years, my clients have seen that I care as much about the outcome of their transactions as they do, and that has been crucial to building strong relationships.”

Exuding passion and enthusiasm, O’Connor demonstrates how loving what you do and honing your emotional intelligence are essential to long-term success. She reflects on the importance of skillful communication, maintaining in-person connections, and prioritizing finding work that is deeply fulfilling for a sustainable career.

Fueled by the Energy of the Markets

Dynamic and driven, O’Connor has always thrived in high-energy environments, making the fast-paced trading floor the ideal fit for her career.

“I love the markets and how what you read in the press that morning is going to have an impact on what you do that day. It’s exciting how things are ever changing, and that no day is like the last.” This unpredictability, far from overwhelming, is the fuel that powers her. “The buzz of a trading floor is the energy that I thrive off of.”

O’Connor feels fortunate to have built a career that still ignites her passion, even after more than two decades in the industry.

“It hasn’t felt like work in that regard. I really enjoy what I do—it fulfills me on a very deep level.”

O’Connor’s talents particularly shine as Wells Fargo’s Global Head of High Grade Debt Syndicate because the role is more about building connections with clients and finding a way to bring two sides together than it is about selling.

“My goal is to be upfront about what we can accomplish for you, and I love that. I enjoy being direct with people.” She continues, “it’s about finding that perfect balance between what the investor and the issuer wants, ensuring that neither feels like they got the upper hand, but rather that the outcome is fair.”

Building Stronger Client Relationships with In-Person Connection

Given that much of O’Connor’s role involves balancing both sides of a deal, she believes forging strong client relationships is essential—and in her view, the best way to do that is in person.

“I’m not one for small talk—I love real conversations,” she says. ” In my view, in-person connections with clients are critical – it’s harder to build a serious and deep connection with someone virtually.”

O’Connor believes that in-person meetings, preferably outside the confines of a conference room, are where true bonds are formed.

“I love to hear people’s stories, to understand what makes them tick,” she explains. “It’s not about using that knowledge to get something for myself; it’s about figuring out what’s going to work for them.”

While her job in syndicate is to carry a deal across the finish line, O’Connor sees it as much more than just completing a transaction.

“All the work you do leading up to that moment, getting to know your clients better, makes the final leg so much more meaningful.” This personal touch, she believes, is what sets her—and others in her line of work—apart.

Delivery is Key

For O’Connor, mastering the art of communication has been another key element to her success. While technical skills and attention to detail are critical early in one’s career, she believes that as you advance, it’s the softer skills that become more significant.

“I think having a high emotional intelligence (EQ) is really important,” she says. “When you’re a junior, it’s all about analytical skills and efficiency. But as you get more client-facing, it becomes much more about how you deliver.”

O’Connor prides herself on her ability to read people and adapt her approach accordingly. “I used to joke that the number one skill in my job was sounding good on the phone—now, it’s probably sounding good on Zoom,” she laughs. For her, clear and confident communication is essential. “It’s not just about what you say, it’s about sounding good saying it.”

Not only is confidence key, but making the delivery dynamic and engaging is essential as well. She emphasizes that effective communication is about more than just data—it’s about ensuring that the message sticks.

“Delivery is so important, and I don’t think people spend enough time polishing it. They work too much on the content and not enough on thinking about how to say it with emphasis in a way that leaves a lasting impression.”

The Art of Navigating Difficult Conversations

O’Connor points to another crucial element of communication—adeptly navigating hard conversations—as an asset in her role. Working in syndicate, she walks a fine line between the demands of issuers and the expectations of investors, advocating for both sides with skill and empathy.

“You get one of those tough trades, and sometimes the music stops. Your ability to deliver bad news becomes crucial.” She continues, “the way you handle those hard conversations is a critical skill that sets apart the good from the great at this job.”

O’Connor believes her success in this area comes from her ability to communicate directly. “I always ask myself, ‘How would I want to receive this news?’ And the answer is usually straightforward: I’d just want to know,” she says. This candid approach earns her respect, even when emotions are running high.

“It’s about your ability to impart to them, ‘this doesn’t feel good on this side, either. We’re not where we want to be, but we’re going get you to the best possible place we can’.”

O’Connor finds that approaching difficult conversations with a “we’re in this together” mindset not only reassures her clients but also fosters a collaborative atmosphere that helps navigate tough situations.

Passion is Preferable

O’Connor is clearly passionate about her work but acknowledges that there is a balance between caring deeply and maintaining emotional resilience.

“It’s hard not to take things personally when you care a lot. I’d tell my younger self not to stress so much.”

Yet, she emphasizes that bringing passion to the job is not only acceptable but essential.

“One of the worst pieces of feedback a woman can receive is being told she’s too emotional,” she shares. “It’s unhelpful. Asking someone not to care is not a solution. I love passion. I can help rein in or smooth the edges around that, but I can’t make somebody care about something they don’t care about, so I’d much rather somebody go in that direction than the other way around.”

In her view, the goal isn’t to care less, but to take things less personally.

“I’m not going to ask people to be less emotional. I might ask you to hone your reaction but never to care less.”

For a Sustainable Career, Love What You Do

For O’Connor, having genuine passion for one’s work is truly the foundation of a sustainable career.

“You have to ask yourself why you’re entering this business,” she advises. “Have a heart-to-heart with yourself, especially in those early years when sacrifices are abundant. If you’re in it for the wrong reasons, you won’t last. You have to truly love what you do because, ultimately, the money alone won’t sustain you.”

O’Connor encourages aspiring professionals to reflect on their motivations and be open to trying different roles to find their passion. She shares that she bounced around early in her career before finding her fit in syndicate in 2006.

“Don’t be afraid to pivot early in your career,” she stresses. “You must find that role that makes you happy. Otherwise, with the long hours and demanding nature of the work, you’re not going to thrive. You need to be in a seat that you genuinely love.”

As a mother of three girls, O’Connor aims to show her daughters that it’s possible to pursue a career she loves while finding deep fulfillment in her family life. For her, it’s less about achieving perfection and more about showing the importance of hard work and learning from mistakes. In her downtime, O’Connor spends quality time with her three daughters, loves baking and playing mediocre tennis with friends – simple joys that keep her connected to what matters most.

By Jessica Robaire

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