How to Learn from Tough Feedback When it Feels like Criticism

It’s fair to say that being subject to criticism is not an enjoyable experience even when it is given as feedback and in the spirit of professional development. The fears of embarrassment, shame, and rejection are real, and those emotions are also natural – it is the coping mechanism of defensiveness that is worth preventing – how? By recognizing it! Experiencing criticism at work can be especially difficult, as fear of losing your position amplifies an often angry or defensive reaction. However, you can control your responses to workplace criticism and reframe the experience to your advantage. Let’s examine how you can supercharge your career by learning from criticism.

Understanding Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is a process by which you receive valid opinions on your work, including positive and negative comments. This type of criticism aims to improve your performance or productivity on the job.

You may experience constructive criticism in meetings with higher management. It can also occur more organically when, for example, a colleague suggests improvements to your work on a project. Ultimately, constructive criticism always aims to provide feedback that helps you learn where to improve your career.

Differentiating Feedback from Bias

There are clear differences between constructive feedback and destructive criticism informed by implicit bias. Identifying these two separate forms of criticism can help you know how to accept critical comments in the workplace.

Constructive Feedback

Managers or peers offering suggestions on strengthening your professional skills are offering constructive feedback. This type of criticism focuses on building up an employee rather than tearing them down. Feedback balances both recognition of your accomplishments and suggestions for improving future projects.

Identifying Implicit Bias

Implicit bias, also called unconscious bias, is a human condition still present in workplaces today. It exists in the form of gender, racial, age, similarity, and confirmation biases, among others. Criticism rooted in bias is not meant to be productive but reflects the individual’s prejudices or biases.

Processing Criticism Positively

While criticism is hard for anyone to take, you can change how you respond and handle it so it reflects better on you and improves your work performance.

1. Don’t take it personally: People often view their jobs as an extension of themselves. When their job performance is criticized, they consider that comment a criticism of who they are. One of the best ways to take feedback is to give yourself an emotional buffer. Remember that mistakes are not a reflection of your worth or character. You can also be proactive and ask for feedback ahead of time, and have a good understanding of your strengths and weaknesses as a professional, to build up your self-knowledge and confidence.
2. Train yourself to listen: Focus on listening carefully and processing the criticism using active listening skills. Don’t use the time that the person is speaking to prepare your response mentally. Listen without interrupting, and ask clarifying questions afterward. Take notes so you can remember everything accurately later.
3. Avoid excuses and seek clarification: Avoid making excuses in response to work criticism, as that never appears professional. It can also make a conversation confrontational. Instead, stay calm and acknowledge the criticism while respecting the person. Reflect on the criticism and respond to the person with a plan of action and your thoughts. Always seek clarification so you know exactly what you need to change or improve. Asking questions will also demonstrate your willingness to learn from the experience.
4. Show appreciation: As tricky as it may be, acknowledge the person’s delivery and honesty, especially if it was constructive and delivered gently.
5. Practice self-awareness: You may feel genuinely hurt by the criticism, so give yourself time to process and move past it. Consider why the criticism is painful, as understanding is essential to moving forward.

If you fear becoming emotional while receiving criticism, practice some techniques to maintain your composure. Box breathing, or 4×4 breathing, is one of the most effective ways to promote relaxation during or immediately after a stressful experience. Taking a short break or a brief walk outside can also give you the space to process criticism positively.

Learning from Criticism

Constructive criticism offers you the chance to learn from your mistakes. Some steps you can take to learn from criticism include:

• Keeping a feedback journal
• Working with a coach or mentor – theglasshammer.com offers executive coaching, especially for senior managers on the path to leadership.
• Assessing how you react to criticism and how it affects your self-confidence, especially if you are a people-pleaser.

The best way to learn from criticism is to turn that criticism into actionable goals. Identify critical areas for improvement and create a timeline with your manager for reassessment.

Leveraging Criticism for Career Growth

Once you’ve learned how to handle criticism positively, how can you use it to propel your career forward? As tough as it is to receive criticism, not receiving it can harm your career. Constructive criticism will become invaluable as you grow in your professional field, so you want to use it to your advantage when it occurs.

Being able to accept criticism at work shows maturity. Open-mindedly receiving constructive criticism gives your employer a positive impression, and they are more likely to offer you helpful suggestions. Listening carefully to criticism will also help you build stronger relationships with colleagues.

Additionally, people who learn from their mistakes are usually more successful than those who refuse to reflect on their actions and decisions. Learning to take constructive criticism is a vital skill that is essential to professional growth.

Taking constructive feedback seriously lets you identify your weaknesses while improving your skills and earning the respect of your colleagues. Use that feedback wisely, accept it professionally and gracefully, and you will supercharge your career.

By: Indiana Lee is a passionate writer from the Pacific Northwest, specializing in business operations, leadership, and marketing. Connect with her on LinkedIn.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com).