How to Make Your Next Career Move During COVID-19

Next Career MoveNavigating change at work is applicable to everyone in their career right now. Working with an executive coach can help with adapting to the new environment of work from home and adjusting your mindset to deal with the changes that, due to a pandemic, seem to be here to stay for a while.

Executive-level jobs in the financial services and Fortune 500 are not exempt to disruption as the economic damage starts to take effect and it is very possible that companies will start slashing budgets and downsizing later this year.  So now, not later, is the time to prepare to make your next career move.

It won’t be the old-fashioned tap on the shoulder informing you that your team is being consolidated and there is no place for you.  The digital version of getting marched out of the building can provoke the same feelings of rejection, shame, anxiety and fear of what job to do next. If you are fired or made redundant, furloughed or re-org’ed out, then all is not lost. Instead, start with your own inner voice and control your psychology around what just happened, as self-talk and old fears and feelings can easily surface at this point. Your unconscious mind will enjoy slapping you with paradigms developed over a lifetime. These can take many forms; for those with imposter syndrome it could be “told you so, you didn’t belong there.” In the case of general self-worth concepts it could be the shame of “letting them down,” even though when I push my clients to further consider this internal message the “them” is mystical, general and undefined.

The best investigation you can do into your own constructs can be done using concepts from Lahey and Kegan’s work in Immunity to Change. This is a book I write about often and pursue with coaching clients to help them understand how to break out of implicit notions that your brain is quietly telling you.  These notions are working as the operating system beneath all the human apps or hacks that you think you are running for things like productivity and mastery in your life.

In times of potential trauma, such as job loss, you are faced with a choice of how to recover, as there are many emotions and thoughts involved with this type of situation. The best thing you can do is let go of any negative emotions such as anger or bitterness or shame. This is often easier said than done. Get perspective, as most likely this is not about you personally in these COVID-19 times. Use this event instead as reframe the change as an opportunity to understand what you enjoyed most, and least, about both the job itself and the company culture. This will help you figure out what is next for you professionally. If you have any kind of decent financial cushion, make a promise to yourself that you will not make rash decisions and instead take the time to reflect on what you really want to do.  That could come quickly if clarity happens, which is why a good coach can help you by supercharging you and your process. What do you need more of? Less of? How do you get what you want? This can be more satisfaction, more time, more flexibility, more money, a different title or even a complete pivot into a different career.

Not Furloughed or Fired but Ready for a Change

Even if things are steady at work it is okay to think about making a change, especially if your industry doesn’t look robust in terms of future sustainability or growth. See the writing on the wall regarding how your company is dealing with employees during COVID-19. Look for actions and behaviors. Are they laying off staff in other departments or teams? How are they doing it? Is there a voluntary severance program in place where the deal is lucrative? If so, perhaps it is worth talking to your manager about the future, specifically your future. This can be a courageous conversation to have so make sure you are in good standing with your boss as of course there is risk attached. If everything looks steady, find ways to ensure you make your value visible at all times. Working smarter not harder is the key here.

Take this time to think about what you want long term. In these exhausting times, it is easy to just survive the day and pour a cocktail on a Friday to celebrate getting through another week at work. Do an exercise of “flash forward” and picture yourself three years from now; what are you doing work-wise? Which firm are you in, if any, and what does your day-to-day look like? Start with the end in mind and start to think about the steps that could be taken to get there as Rome (or anything) was not built in a day. What skills do you need to develop? What connections do you need to make? What does starting the transition or pivot to a new job, career or industry look like? Herminia Ibarra’s fabulous book Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader very much argues that we are all in transition, and we just might not know it yet. From this perspective, looking at networks and skills is a worthy action at all times. I highly endorse her work, and this is a consistent recommendation from me to my coaching clients across senior levels on Wall Street, tech, fintech, healthcare and pharma.

As gloomy as things might seem right now with the outlook for the economy and personal risks in going to work, it is ultimately an ideal time to figure out what you want and what works for you. Things will return to a normal of sorts, but who knows when? Think about the last time you interviewed for a job. You might have been in a different place in your life and it’s okay to acknowledge that everything has changed. Not least, you have a chance to think about your enhanced skillset. And surely all of our resilience muscles have increased, as we have been resourceful though quarantine, kids crawling in to zoom meetings and productivity despite lack of connectivity. You are better placed than ever to be the best executive version of yourself!

If you wish to have a complimentary, exploratory conversation to see if executive coaching with Nicki Gilmour or one of our associate coaches could help you navigate your career this year and beyond, then please select the time that works best for you from the link below.

Event: Exploratory Coaching chat – see full list of times

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Christina J. Grigorian, Partner, Katten

Christina J. Grigorian“I wish I’d known earlier on that you don’t have to be linear in your career,” says Katten’s Christina J. Grigorian. “If something is pulling you in a different direction, there are firms out there that will support those interests or needs.” And, she says, she was fortunate to find that you don’t have to follow a traditional trajectory on the partner track to have a fulfilling career.

Forging a Path Paved with Balance

During law school at the University of Maryland, Grigorian served as the student editor-in-chief of “The Business Lawyer,” which at the time was the largest law journal in circulation and published in conjunction with the American Bar Association. After passing the bar, she went directly to a firm where she discovered how much she loved the banking side of law, and after six years practicing with two other firms, has been with Katten for 18 years. During her tenure, she has worn many hats, including associate, contractor, senior associate, then counsel and partner in the firm’s Corporate practice.

The road wasn’t smooth, she acknowledges. When she started a family, she initially doubted whether she could juggle three children with her high-powered work and considered a leave. Fortunately, Katten was solution-oriented and offered her a reduced schedule of 10 to 15 hours a week working remotely as a contractor.

As her youngest child transitioned to preschool, she started working three mornings a week in the office and then further increased her hours when her youngest child began elementary school. Although it took her 21 years to become a partner, she did it on her own terms. “I have been very fortunate that I could walk a path that was both professionally and personally fulfilling,” Grigorian says.

Even today, she makes sure that her family demands do not interfere with her work responsibilities at the firm. “I never say ‘no’ to any project – the only question I may raise is with respect to timing,” she says, adhering to a flexible schedule that often had her rounding out her work in the evening while her children did their homework. “I have found this willingness has led to a lot of credibility that I will come through and the work will get done.”

Expanding a Welcome Niche

The enactment of the Dodd-Frank Act in 2010 brought new financial reforms and regulations for lenders and banks, creating enormous demand for an attorney like Grigorian who has an extensive background in banking law. It opened opportunities for her practice to flourish and evolve to now where she advises banks, bank holding companies, and state-licensed consumer and commercial lenders to ensure they are complying with applicable laws related to providing consumer or commercial credit.

This specialty allows Grigorian to work with a wide variety of teams as she can parlay her knowledge of banking and consumer and commercial lending law to a variety of deals and transactions.

“I am proud that I’ve been able to grow professionally in a way that allows me to be a resource to support so many teams,” she says. That ability came into sharp focus when the CARES Act passed earlier this year; her background allowed her to jump in to help clients understand the guidelines of the Paycheck Protection Program, which provides small businesses with funding to cover payroll costs, rent and utilities.

“It was amazing to join forces with so many people across the firm and help clients from bakeries to doctor’s offices to nonprofits determine if they were eligible to apply. It was such a wonderfully collaborative effort for these companies that really needed the lifeline,” she says, adding that it was a welcome spot in her practice to spend so much time with different types of clients and partners.

Balancing Work With Other Interests

The company you keep is as important as the work, Grigorian believes, meaning you must seek out those with whom you enjoy spending time. Through the years, she has had mentors who have been good role models with their work-life balance, along with being active in their communities, and she was able to model her career path in that view. She shares those lessons with others as an active participant in the Women’s Leadership Forum in Katten’s Washington, D.C. office, which has been a good outlet for her fellow female colleagues with its dynamic programming that offers everything from networking events to professional development programs.

Active in her community, Grigorian enjoys her volunteer work with the Washington National Cathedral, where she supports its horticulture projects, including recent efforts to create a bee sanctuary. “I adore this group of people who are dedicated to this mission to provide a haven to reflect and relax on the stunning Cathedral grounds located in DC’s urban core,” she says. “And in these times, it’s more important than ever.” In addition to her volunteer work, she enjoys traveling with her husband and children and reading her book club’s monthly selections.

by Cathie Ericson

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Feminine-Inclusive Leadership Is Earning Global Respect

feminine-inclusive leadership

Feminine-inclusive leadership is a management style for which women leaders are earning global respect. This is a moment on the world stage where the importance of feminine values in leadership are drawing attention.

Beyond the headlines pinning female leaders versus male leaders, the real question is what do we value in leadership? The world might be waking up to the truth that ‘feminine’ traits are essential to human leadership.

Female Leaders In the Spotlight for Effective Crisis Management

Depending on the media source, it’s a tempting headline, but also simplifying and sweeping conclusion, that women political leaders have handled COVID-19 better than male leaders have. Regardless of whether ‘better’ is verifiable, the effectiveness of women leaders in several countries is garnering respect on the world stage.

From German Chancellor Angela Merkel, to New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, to Finland Prime Minister Sanna Marin, to Taiwan President Tsai Ing-wen, women leaders have been acknowledged for their success in navigating their country through the pandemic response while limiting multi-level damage.

Merkel’s government took into account a variety of diverse information sources when developing its approach, which has correlated with drastically lower fatality rates in Germany versus other Western European countries. Ardern’s caring, empathetic, cautious and rational approach in New Zealand has flown in the face of male swagger, including her rawness of addressing the country directly from her home and in her domestic context as a mother.

It’s speculated in the New York Times that a female leader may indicate these countries generally have more inclusive (feminine) values and diverse representation, including presence of women, throughout the leadership ranks. Indeed, these same countries do rank high on the Global Gender Gap Report 2020 in terms of gender equality performance, as well as having women on corporate boards.

“A small number of female leaders have emerged as a benchmark for what competent leadership looks like — and been applauded for it,” states co-authors Chamorro-Premuzic and Wittenburg-Cox in Harvard Business Review. “This group of talented leaders may become the first visible wave of role models for the generations to come, redefining the way we pick leaders in politics and business. In short, tales of strong female leaders succeeding through this crisis could lead to a change in the overarching narrative of what a strong leader looks like.”

Women Do Score Better Across Most Perceived Leadership Qualities

In a 2019 Harvard Business Review article, researchers Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman updated their 2012 research that demonstrated women leaders were perceived as effective as men, and actually scored higher on a “vast majority of leadership competencies”.

The research update was even more compelling. “Women are perceived by their managers — particularly their male managers — to be slightly more effective than men at every hierarchical level and in virtually every functional area of the organization,” wrote the authors. “That includes the traditional male bastions of IT, operations, and legal.”

Based on an analysis of 360 degree reviews, “women outscored men on 17 of the 19 capabilities that differentiate excellent leaders from average or poor ones” — including taking initiative (55.6% v. 48.2%), resilience (54.7% v. 49.3%), practicing self-development (54.8% v. 49.6%), driving for results (53.9% v. 48.8%), and displaying high integrity and honesty (54.0% v. 49.1%)”.

“We are accustomed to hearing that women are more other-directed and emotionally intelligent, which is actually proven in the research,” writes Cami Anderson in Forbes. “But, it turns out women are just as good and sometimes better at some of what we think of as male qualities, like being decisive and making tough calls.”

In part, this skill proficiency might be attributed to what it takes for women to arrive to leadership amidst the double standards they face, which makes them well-rounded, spherical leaders when they do make it to these positions.

What Feminine Leadership Traits Are Being Celebrated

Traits that have been exemplified by women leaders during the pandemic include “resilience, pragmatism, benevolence, trust in collective common sense, mutual aid and humility” as well as traits often perceived as feminine such as empathy, compassion, listening and collaboration.

“…what we know now is a “strong” leader isn’t necessarily a man who stands alone, making all the tough choices by himself,” writes Nicole Lipkin in Forbes, “But rather a servant leader, who gathers all points of view in a collaborative effort in order to arrive at the best course of action.”

Especially in a time of so much certainty, the “feminine” trait of humility is a “critical driver of leadership effectiveness in both men and women.”

As Chamarro-Premuzic and Gallop point out in HBR, “Without humility it will be very hard for anyone in charge to acknowledge their mistakes, learn from experience, take into account other people’s perspectives, and be willing to change and get better.”

Women are more collaborative, and tend to have a more realistic view of their abilities and know their limitations, and men tend to overestimate their abilities. This humility, which may not help with self-advocacy, means that women are more willing to seek support and solutions outside of their own perspective once in a leadership role.

“Decades of research show that female leaders are more likely to be democratic or participative — and less autocratic — in their leadership style, meaning they invite subordinates to participate in decision-making,” writes Zoe Marks in The Washington Post.

As written in HBR, women are also more likely to lead through transformational leadership – inspiring people, transforming attitudes and beliefs, and encouraging high levels of engagement and motivation, as well as performance. They also focus more on developing their direct reports than male leaders do.

Not only are more women leaders increasingly gaining profile internationally, but we are beginning to witness the necessity of feminine qualities of leadership that have too long been undervalued in positions of power.

by Aimee Hansen

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Wendy Strutt, SVP, Head of US Accounts at PGIM Investments

Wendy Strutt“I always assumed success was innate and didn’t realize it can also come from hard work, and everyone can reap the benefits of putting in the work,” says PGIM Investments’ Wendy Strutt.

For example, she was always intimidated by negotiation, assuming it was something one just had a talent for, until she learned anyone could build the skill through obtaining sufficient information and then thinking through the next steps. “Anyone can do those things, especially early in your career where you have time to doggedly go about researching something. It was transformational when I realized there really isn’t a mystique about it.”

An Orientation Toward Success

Hard work never was an issue for Strutt, which has propelled her rapid rise in the world of sales, although she began her career in consulting. After earning her MBA, she worked in a chief of staff role, which she considers her “real MBA,” due to having a seat at the table where decisions were made, then helping them implement and measure their success.

While that was exciting, she soon learned that she wasn’t as enamored with the fact there were 10 decision makers in the room in addition to her when something great was achieved, “I couldn’t determine what part of the win was mine. That’s when my mentor sagely said, ‘Maybe you’re a sales person,’ even though I had always believed I was an analytics person.”

That sent Strutt’s path in a new direction that she embraced, and now she has combined those two disciplines with a role in analytical sales, where she leads a team that sells active management investment solutions to finance companies. She is proud of this opportunity and takes very seriously her fiduciary responsibility to act in the best interest of their clients and help them meet their goals.

Strutt’s successes have included overseeing a team whose sales efforts have led to 11 consecutive years of positive net flows at the No. 1 mutual fund firm (by net flows) year to date. Now the company is actively expanding its solution set to help deepen relationships with larger clients. “They tell us they want to do more business with fewer partners so we are exploring different ways to offer investments to our clients,” she says. In response they have broadened their product range and have launched active ETFs, the first of which was named “ETF of the Year” by Fund Intelligence in 2019, as well as PGIM’s first private real estate product through a large national wealth management firm.

“These different solutions allow us to pour all of our portfolio managers’ insights together, which can help us solve for retirement income in different ways,” she points out.

Building the Next Generation

Viewing her industry from a gender perspective, she finds that the biggest challenge is that there are just not enough women, especially in senior positions. While asset management is not alone in this regard, she believes it’s important for her firm to position themselves to be a leader. To this end, Strutt is part of PGIM’s very active Women’s Advisory Council which supports the success, development and engagement of women across PGIM.

“I notice how my colleagues light up at a women-oriented conference, and I want us to feel that way every day,” Strutt says. “We can feel that support and energy on a regular basis, and I want to leave my industry that way for the next generation.”

She sees that support is crucial to help those entering the industry, and urges her fellow senior colleagues to reach back to those beginning their careers. On that note, she finds that most women don’t realize that a sales career can be fantastic for women. While she admits she herself had to be pushed, she has since found that while there are some tradeoffs in terms of time commitment, it also can be very flexible when needed. It’s also a great role because you have a number attached to your name, which removes the burden of self-promotion. “The metrics speak for themselves, which can make it easier to rise through the ranks of a company by doing a great job.”

In addition to taking roles in women’s organizations across all sectors of capital markets, Strutt is active in her firm’s Women’s Advisory Council, which supports engagement and visibility across the organization. She’s especially proud of a cross-gendered mentorship program that pairs senior leadership to deepen the appreciation of gender-based issues and share solutions—what she describes as “one aha moment at a time.”

The firm also has a “back-to-business” returnship program that helps professionals who have been out of the workforce for any length of time for any reason, such as caring for children or a parent, or serving in the Armed Forces.

With a husband, two boys and a dog, her family keeps her busy and engaged when she’s not working.

“My view on balance is you can’t always stay right in the center of that teeter totter, and accepting that fact alone has helped me lower the stress we sometimes put on ourselves to be great at everything,” Strutt says. “I’ve learned to take care of myself and unplug when I need to. It gets me recharged, and the work is always there waiting for you.”

by Cathie Ericson

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Luvleen Sidhu, Co-Founder and CEO, BankMobile, a division of Customers Bank

Luvleen SidhuAs a successful entrepreneur, Luvleen Sidhu, co-founder and CEO of BankMobile, has learned firsthand the many challenges and satisfactions CEOs experience.

“While I am incredibly proud of my work leading this company, I’ve developed a new appreciation for the challenges leaders face. It takes a lot of patience and dedication, mixed with the understanding that you are probably going to have to change course along the way as you learn more.”

Finding the Creativity in Finance

Changing course comes naturally to Sidhu; although her dad was in finance, she initially pursued a premed path at Harvard. When she realized she preferred to follow in his footsteps, her parents gave her their blessing, and she began working at Lehman Brothers while still in school and joined full-time after graduation. She soon learned how fast things can change as her first day coincided with the bankruptcy. Fortunately, her role was on the hedge fund side so she was protected and stayed there for two years after it became Neuberger Berman. “It was a pivotal moment for me as I realized the fragility of the financial industry and also saw people who lost everything, a realization that has impacted me and helped influence what we do today.”

She then went to work at Customers Bank for a year, exploring digital bank models, then earned her MBA at Wharton. That’s where she got the entrepreneurial bug, which was reinforced by a project during a summer position in the financial services practice at Booz & Company, where she was helping a client strategize how to launch its own digital bank.

She got a full time offer to join Booz, which became part of PwC, and that’s when the concept of BankMobile came up, as a culmination of everything she had explored throughout her career to date. “As my classes showed, you have to find a need and see where you can do it better.”

Indeed, she saw an opportunity in banking where customers were lacking the experience they wanted, and she felt there could be a more affordable, transparent banking model that would be digital first—and also profitable.

Innovation Leads to Success

With that idea in mind, Sidhu partnered with Customers Bank to complement its strength as a small business bank and incubate BankMobile as a consumer digital bank. Since then she has overseen its monumental growth and was named “Fintech Woman of the Year” by LendIt in 2019, when the bank was also honored as “Most Innovative Bank.”

Currently she is excited about a strategy they are pursuing of white label banking for companies that want a unique way to attract, retain and delight customers. Since BankMobile has already identified the pain points, they can provide the end-to-end experiences that allows companies to offer their own branded banking services while avoiding the regulatory challenges inherent in becoming a bank. Already they are working with nearly 800 colleges, as well as T-Mobile.

That decision came from the realization that sometimes you have to pivot, and while you might not end up how you started, it can be just as meaningful. This business shift came after a year-and-a-half when they realized that while they wanted to create a brand that would resonate with their customers, the direct to consumer model was not going to be as profitable. “The choice was to stick with this consumer brand or pivot, which would allow us to still be true to the mission to create more affordable, transparent banking. We recognized that we can embrace a different way to accomplish our goals and mission, which brought about the change from B2C to B2B.”

Seeking Advice from Like-Minded People

Throughout her life, Sidhu has recognized the importance of mentors, starting with the superintendent of her high school and middle school who was a mentor to her then and has since started his own executive coaching company. In that role, he has provided her leadership team with coaching to help develop their thinking around core values and mission.

“He’s an eternal learner and having someone I’ve known throughout my life whom I trust and respect has been an important relationship,” Sidhu says.

She also counts her father as both mentor and role model. Currently he is CEO of Customers Bancorp, the parent bank, but previously he had helped grow Sovereign Bank, now Santander Bank, into a top national bank. “I love his patience and excitement. Even when things get tough, he is lighthearted and gets excited and energized by challenges. He rolls with the punches,” she says, adding that of course she also appreciates that he had given her a head start in learning about banking at a young age.

Today she also finds inspiration among her fellow CEOs as an active member of the Young Presidents’ Organization, which meets weekly to discuss current topics and share best practices. Throughout the COVID-19 situation, she has found it invaluable to hear how others are navigating similar situations in varied areas, such as communicating with customers and employees, cutting costs, negotiating leases, working with a remote team and most of all, protecting their health and that of their business.

Spirituality is very important to Sidhu, who starts every morning with 45 minutes of chanting. “It energizes me and helps me reflect and find clarity toward my intentions for that day and my life as a whole.”

by Cathie Ericson

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Geetha Neelakantiah, Senior Vice President of Business Development and General Manager, Semcasting

Geetha Neelakantiah featuredBuilding your ideal career can take a lifetime, but Semcasting’s Geetha Neelakantiah says she wishes there were more resources and guidance out there for younger people to get them started on the right path early on.

“Even in college, I wish I would have done more investigation into what else was out there—all the industries that are available,” she says.

While she fell into the perfect role for herself at Semcasting, which works across vertical industries, she thinks everyone should have the chance to get exposure to all aspects of business so they can decide what they’re most attuned to.

“Working for a large company is great, but it’s also important to understand how a business runs,” she says.

Exploring Her Own Destiny

That belief comes from her own process in finding the right type of job. While she is now drawn to the startup environment given its entrepreneurial mindset and out-of-the-box thought process, Neelakantiah initially graduated with an engineering degree. However, she decided to switch into accounting and finance and earned her master’s degree in those fields before eventually pursuing her MBA.

Through a robust focus on networking, she found startups in the dot.com days that needed her help—from consulting to part-time engagements—and would move to various companies as new, exciting opportunities became available. She was one of the early employees at her current company, which has been around for more than a decade, finding she could easily switch roles and use her skills in diverse disciplines—from finance and accounting to product development and sales and marketing.

“It has given me satisfaction to watch Semcasting grow and to imagine our potential continued growth as the industry changes. We are constantly at the forefront,” Neelakantiah says.

She believes that her background and perseverance in staying one step ahead and finding different opportunities will allow her to continue to help change the market and industry. Recently, she has been an integral part of building and designing a new product that they intend to launch in the coming months, and she looks forward to introducing it to her partners when the time is right.

“The marketing world is constantly changing, and I always work to stay on top of evolving marketing trends and privacy laws, ensuring we stay abreast of and even in front of changing laws. They are woven into our products as we introduce them,” Neelakantiah says.

Mentoring Others

Given her own uncertainty about the right type of path to pursue, Neelakantiah makes a commitment to talk to new hires and give them exposure to not only what they’re doing in their day-to-day roles, but also the bigger picture, so they can see the impact they are having for the brand and company’s success.

She appreciates the chance to help others since she didn’t initially have a lot of female role models. “You have to remember how you got to where you are and help women take ownership and figure out how to get where they should,” Neelakantiah says.

That’s why she believes it’s important for more seasoned employees to help younger ones who are just coming in; who might have held a few positions yet don’t fully understand the industry. “Often, they need guidance, encouragement and mentoring by someone who’s not their boss,” she points out.

“I work a lot but have a great private life at the same time,” Neelakantiah says, which is part of her mantra that it’s important to find the balance between your work and private life. “You can work the normal hours, but you need to ask yourself where you can optimize and make a bigger impact; in other words: working smarter, not harder.”

Knowing that she is “not a winter person,” Neelakantiah understands that spring, summer and fall are her times to enjoy, and she will alter her schedule as needed to ensure she can spend more time on herself during those months, doing what she loves.

She and her fiancé enjoy golfing, and she even plays with the LPGA Amateur Association, which allows her to have social time with friends while maintaining an element of competition.

But ultimately, she says, family and friends are what matter. “We are realizing that more than ever,” she says. “The work will be there, and we have to figure out how to create the balance.”

by Cathie Ericson

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Being a Working Mother During COVID-19

Nicki Gilmour“What are you reading currently?” I was asked this week by someone who I was executive coaching. I laughed and said if I am lucky, I get to read magazine articles online late at night. Because, as many of you know, reading a whole book would be a pipe dream for any working mother during COVID-19, particularly a parent of small children in this stay-at-home, work-at-home, school-at-home era that will clearly last the rest of 2020 and probably into 2021. Small children need you in a way older children do not and therefore as much as we wish to ignore this fact, babies and anyone under eight or nine are the working parent’s career disabler this year.

It is hard to be everywhere at once. Can we truly have a professional career this year and school and care for our kids at home? Are men having to ask themselves the same question, or is it primarily women who are being adversely affected? That is the litmus test for equality. An important caveat is there are really great men who are stay-at-home dads all of the time and should get more recognition than they do, same as stay-at-home mothers. Both roles deserve a medal, but to also say that this not about what went before in an imperfect world, but about the impossible pressure points of the new reality of the dual roles of full-time employee and full-time parent at once.

The New York Times writes that COVID’s sociological effects may even have scarred a whole generation of women and the underlying conditions such as the motherhood penalty versus the fatherhood bonus and good old fashioned ongoing wage and promotional gaps, along with the continued implicit belief that men belong at work or as leaders whereas women are there by choice somehow, has no doubt created the perfect storm.

The double bind for women lies in too much work to get humanly done in one day. Then there is the other tricky side of the coin, which shows that women are getting furloughed or fired in bigger numbers, and not hired this year at the same rate (for example in STEM jobs and technology firms) in the first place, leaving them helpless to a “whoever works gets priority to be-left alone to work” paradigm. Default career of teacher then begins for so many women who just feel that they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t in this new decade of unplanned disruption.

But, for those who are dual career households with kids, some men in super liberal as well as conservative neighborhoods are still playing golf in the afternoons in couples where women are putting in double or triple shifts between their job and kids. This is not a political-party-led values divide for once, because the inequality of the division of labor and the mental load continues for republicans and democrats alike when it comes to working women and specifically working mothers. Women’s work has returned as the elephant in the room, turning back the clock to gender roles we thought we had ditched. Some advice columns implicitly suggest this is the way it is and to accept it, while others – which is the camp I am in – suggest this is a good time to rebalance it. Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) and one of the leading thinkers on this topic, suggests the following tips in her Harper’s Bazaar article:

1. Make the Invisible Visible
2. Believe All Time Is Created Equal
3. Focus on Your Why
4. Make Time for Planning
5. Own Tasks From Start to Finish
6. Focus on Fairness, Not 50/50
7. Modeling Matters (Including Out of Office Responses)
8. Burn Guilt and Shame
9. Be a Cultural Warrior (Care About Care)

Sociologist C. Wright Mills famously said, “Private troubles. Public issues.” Any issue that has appeared on our radar this year or ever, when it comes to experiencing what seems like personal or interpersonal challenges, is debated as individual choice or character traits, when it is always systemic and societal. The Lean In book and movement is a great example of how it was interpreted as a choice to do so, and completely missed the social constructs piece altogether.

Of course, the one choice that you do have is to collude or not collude with the way it has been. However, if it was that simple, we would all start the revolution today at work and home.
Sexism, much like racism, is a personal behavioral choice, but it is the other person and actually the system (how it runs) that has to mostly change for complete change. Flawed systems are not just based on sexist or racist people.

But, in the interest of looking at what you can do today, start with you. The organizational psychologists amongst us would argue Lewinian theory that states behavior is a function of both your personality and the environment you are in. Understand what works for you and map out not the world, but your world to understand the levers of getting other people to do better. What are the norms in your house or office around how things get done and who does them?

Now for the big stuff: deconstructing all the elements that have led to most women having massive amounts of internalized misogyny. Developmental psychologists Kegan and Lahey, in their book Immunity to Change, explore “mental complexity” and the holding of very competing beliefs at the same time (easier said than done, as cognitive dissonance is real and worldview is strong and unshakeable by mere facts) to understand that your truth is just your subjective truth based on the incumbent ideas of what is what. Whether at work or at home, the genome starts somewhere. Check your constructs, what have you been told that has been molded into your core beliefs?

How is that working out for you? No one says you have to keep doing it this way.

Nicki is our Head Coach and organizational psychologist. She will be guest coaching (virtually) at Working Mother magazine’s annual Multicultural Women’s National Conference this year. If you want a free exploratory session with Nicki, book here.

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Intrepid Woman: Lisa Baker Morgan, Lawyer, Advocate, Chef, Author

Lisa Baker Morganby Cathie Ericson

“Educate yourself and be open to a number of opportunities, rather than limiting yourself to one career path,” says Lisa Baker Morgan.

“It’s never too late to change or adapt, and it can happen several times as we move forward in our careers.”

An Unexpected Detour

Morgan’s life has taken a number of turns that she says she never could have anticipated in her wildest imagination, going from what she would term a “perfect” life; with a husband, who had made partner in his firm and two small kids. While she was taking a break from her previous life as an attorney to stay home with her kids, she unexpectedly became separated in 2005 and had to start her life entirely anew, having to essentially re-focus on her professional life, adapt to becoming a single mother, and address her psychological health simultaneously.

And then a health crisis with an unknown cause landed her in the hospital in ICU for over two weeks where she almost lost her life until a last-minute surgery saved her. This incident changed her perspective, and she used these two unexpected experiences as opportunities to make her life what she wanted it to be and focus on living in a positive way for her daughters.

At that point Morgan began writing her recently released book, Paris, Part Time. She decided not to return to the stressful and unpredictable world of litigation with its demanding schedule, and instead went to culinary school. From there she wrote cookbooks, became a private chef and cooking instructor in Los Angeles, Paris and Normandy, and as her daughters grew, she tried to figure out her next act.

Finding a Purpose

As the #MeToo movement gathered steam, Morgan pondered how she could help women and children using her background and headed back to law after a 16-year hiatus. She began working with women who had been sexually harassed in the workplace and during the course of this work grew to learn more about predators and individuals in trusted positions who have proximity to minors. “I had a new awareness that there is trauma being inflicted on our youth, and we often don’t hear about it until it is too late,” Morgan says. “People are realizing now that an individual carries that trauma throughout their life, and it manifests itself both emotionally and physically, even if they have tried to suppress it.”

As states attempted to respond to both issues simultaneously, many relaxed statutes of limitations that would allow adults to hold accountable those who had hurt them as children. For Morgan, the biggest challenge is dealing with the stress of helping hurting individuals on a daily basis, as they share the most excruciating things that have ever happened that they have never before shared. “It’s both a tremendous challenge and a blessing as I help them transition from victim to survivor,” she says. “The legal system is a way to hold the perpetrators accountable and give these people their lives back.

In addition to her legal work, Morgan continues consulting and teaching privately in the culinary industry and is focused on promoting her memoir, which will be released June 1. “Like every woman, I juggle all the responsibilities I have the best I can,” she says.

From Morgan’s view, the notion of “success” is highly subjective, and everyone has to define it for themselves. While she says she has felt success in different ways, today it comes from making a positive difference in someone’s life, whether that’s helping a survivor release their pain and proceed to a fulfilling life or hearing that recipes she created have become an integral part of someone’s annual Thanksgiving meal.

But overall, she urges others: “Be patient with yourself, and be open to life. It’s not a straight path, and it’s often the unexpected turns that are far better than the original plan that you had.”

The first of her family to attend college, Lisa Baker Morgan graduated from the University of Southern California with a degree in English Literature. She obtained her Juris Doctorate from Southwestern Law School and her culinary degree from Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts. Morgan is the co-author of Homegrown Herb Garden (Quarry, 2014) and the author of Simple Pleasures: Fifty-two weeks of turning ordinary ingredients into extraordinary moments (ciao yummy!, 2012). Morgan has given cooking classes at Chateau Bosgouet in Normandy and worked alongside Chef Bruno Doucet, owner of Paris’s La Regalade. She is also the author of a travel and food blog, www.chefmorgan.com, and has written numerous guest articles for food websites and blogs. She was featured in The Mothers of Reinvention (Vanguard Press, 2012) as a mother who faced change in a positive way. In addition to her writing and cooking endeavors, Morgan has taken on humanitarian and philanthropic causes in the United States and internationally, including advocacy on behalf of adults and children who have endured childhood sexual assault and trauma. Her newest book, Paris, Part Time, is out June 1st. She divides her time between Paris and Los Angeles.

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