Is Being Liked an Important Element for Public Speaking?

Guest contributed by Beate Nimskly

What are the obstacles that keep you from presenting on stage or in a business meeting joyfully?

And what would change in your life if nothing could stop you from delivering your message to the crowd?

We in some way confuse the issue that the speech has nothing to do with the person itself but the way she is able to connect with the audience. Don’t wish to be liked, rather place the focus on wanting to influence so strongly that most of the public will really get what you have to gift and remember you as inspiring and energetic.

Be aware that no matter what you do some will like you and some will dislike you. People have the tendency to compare. This is especially true for women in business – women will be compared with other women and men too.

You are not comparable because you have something to deliver that no one else could. Concentrate on that. You are different than others and that is what counts.

Content is King

The content you are looking for is how your message fits into the reality of your audience. What are they able to hear? What is their problem? What do they want to change and could not until now because they had no idea, no sense that other things are possible? What are they willing to receive?

You could do a story around the topic with one of your customer who was struggling with a similar situation your audience has. Explain his difficulties, how he suffered, that he wanted to give up and then what possibilities opened up when he was willing to do something different. Make your customer the hero not yourself. Be so precise in how your customer or colleague or your friend changed and what he did exactly to overcome the complexity of the situation that there is no doubt at all that you have been the one who accompanied him – without mentioning that.

The Difference in Preparation

Who are the participants in your meeting, in your audience? Where do they come from? What background do they have? What position in business do they have? What is it your audience wants to get from you?

No matter who they are they want to be inspired. Find out which words they use so you can talk to them in their language. Prepare yourself in the way that they have the sense you speak with them on their level like a private one on one conversation.

The Difference in Questions

Know what you want them to do after they have left the meeting, the presentation or the event.

And ask them a lot of question during your speech like:

• What are you going to do different when you are back in your office?
• What one thing you could change back home that if you changed it, it would make your life much easier?
• When you leave this event, what question would you like to ask me that you could write on a piece of paper with your e-mail address attached so I can answer it for you?

As well include questions like:

• What would your life be in five years from now if you could and would change it?
• What would our business tell us if we would ask the business itself what is needed right now?
• How would we define success in ten years from now?

These questions keep your audience in a constant search for new possibilities. It makes them feel alive, more connected to themselves and pro-active.

Energy is the Key

Your energy is the key to success. Why? Every word you say has energy behind it. And not only the spoken word influences the audience. It´s more the tone and the body language that counts.

So, ask yourself questions like this:

• What energy, space and consciousness can I be to have total ease and fun on stage?
• If I would not judge myself, control myself and try to mimic others what brilliant speaker could I be?
• What can I be or do different to allow myself to step up into the brilliance I truly be?

Space and Consciousness

Space within yourself allows you to connect with others on another level. You can do breathing exercises to experience space within yourself. You could do Yoga or meditation to experience space. If you are the space, you have no resistance to whatever people are asking or are talking about you. You just let it go through yourself with no attachment at all.

And no matter what people say you could say to yourself: “Interesting point of view that they have this point of view.” With this you free yourself from your own judgment about them and as well from their judgment about you. If you practice “interesting point of view” all day long in your normal daily life you will experience more freedom with everything. This is the space of all possibilities.

You are now able to act and react with ease and flexibility in the given situation. That inner freedom gives you access to consciousness. Consciousness includes everything and judges nothing. Everything you do, everything you experience is a way to more awareness. There is no right or wrong. There is always awareness and the choice to be or do something different the next time.

You don´t like me? Interesting point of view.

Beate Nimsky is an inspirational catalyst for change, who works with CEOs, business owners, entrepreneurs and leaders in companies developing their leading abilities. She has been a pioneer in consulting and implementing value driven cultures in companies for more than 25 years. Her new book Ask – And Create Your Life will be published in summer of 2018.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com