Tag Archive for: Public Speaking

Is Being Liked an Important Element for Public Speaking?

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Women Speaking

Guest contributed by Beate Nimskly

What are the obstacles that keep you from presenting on stage or in a business meeting joyfully?

And what would change in your life if nothing could stop you from delivering your message to the crowd?

We in some way confuse the issue that the speech has nothing to do with the person itself but the way she is able to connect with the audience. Don’t wish to be liked, rather place the focus on wanting to influence so strongly that most of the public will really get what you have to gift and remember you as inspiring and energetic.

Be aware that no matter what you do some will like you and some will dislike you. People have the tendency to compare. This is especially true for women in business – women will be compared with other women and men too.

You are not comparable because you have something to deliver that no one else could. Concentrate on that. You are different than others and that is what counts.

Content is King

The content you are looking for is how your message fits into the reality of your audience. What are they able to hear? What is their problem? What do they want to change and could not until now because they had no idea, no sense that other things are possible? What are they willing to receive?

You could do a story around the topic with one of your customer who was struggling with a similar situation your audience has. Explain his difficulties, how he suffered, that he wanted to give up and then what possibilities opened up when he was willing to do something different. Make your customer the hero not yourself. Be so precise in how your customer or colleague or your friend changed and what he did exactly to overcome the complexity of the situation that there is no doubt at all that you have been the one who accompanied him – without mentioning that.

The Difference in Preparation

Who are the participants in your meeting, in your audience? Where do they come from? What background do they have? What position in business do they have? What is it your audience wants to get from you?

No matter who they are they want to be inspired. Find out which words they use so you can talk to them in their language. Prepare yourself in the way that they have the sense you speak with them on their level like a private one on one conversation.

The Difference in Questions

Know what you want them to do after they have left the meeting, the presentation or the event.

And ask them a lot of question during your speech like:

  • What are you going to do different when you are back in your office?
  • What one thing you could change back home that if you changed it, it would make your life much easier?
  • When you leave this event, what question would you like to ask me that you could write on a piece of paper with your e-mail address attached so I can answer it for you?

As well include questions like:

  • What would your life be in five years from now if you could and would change it?
  • What would our business tell us if we would ask the business itself what is needed right now?
  • How would we define success in ten years from now?

These questions keep your audience in a constant search for new possibilities. It makes them feel alive, more connected to themselves and pro-active.

Energy is the Key

Your energy is the key to success. Why? Every word you say has energy behind it. And not only the spoken word influences the audience. It´s more the tone and the body language that counts.

So, ask yourself questions like this:

  • What energy, space and consciousness can I be to have total ease and fun on stage?
  • If I would not judge myself, control myself and try to mimic others what brilliant speaker could I be?
  • What can I be or do different to allow myself to step up into the brilliance I truly be?
Space and Consciousness

Space within yourself allows you to connect with others on another level. You can do breathing exercises to experience space within yourself. You could do Yoga or meditation to experience space. If you are the space, you have no resistance to whatever people are asking or are talking about you. You just let it go through yourself with no attachment at all.

And no matter what people say you could say to yourself: “Interesting point of view that they have this point of view.” With this you free yourself from your own judgment about them and as well from their judgment about you. If you practice “interesting point of view” all day long in your normal daily life you will experience more freedom with everything. This is the space of all possibilities.

You are now able to act and react with ease and flexibility in the given situation. That inner freedom gives you access to consciousness. Consciousness includes everything and judges nothing. Everything you do, everything you experience is a way to more awareness. There is no right or wrong. There is always awareness and the choice to be or do something different the next time.

You don´t like me? Interesting point of view.

Beate Nimsky is an inspirational catalyst for change, who works with CEOs, business owners, entrepreneurs and leaders in companies developing their leading abilities. She has been a pioneer in consulting and implementing value driven cultures in companies for more than 25 years. Her new book Ask – And Create Your Life will be published in summer of 2018.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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7 Tips All Businesswomen Need to Conquer the Fear of Public Speaking

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Guest contributed by Fiona CuttsWomen Speaking

Being able to speak confidently and well in public is essential for any ambitious woman looking to advance her position and career prospects. And yet, statistics show that 74% of people are afraid of public speaking and so, unlikely to perform at their best.

Here are some proven strategies for overcoming this fear, and allowing public speaking to be one of your strengths for excelling in your career.

Deal with nerves

You may feel overpowered by these sensations: sweaty palms, sickness in your stomach and even shaking hands, legs, and voice that your audience may notice. These are familiar feelings that even the most successful, powerful businesswomen will experience, and like them, it is something you can learn to combat strategically.

Whilst standing in front of your audience, plant your feet firmly on the ground, quite far apart, and breathe deeply into your abdomen. This allows you to be present and stable.

At the same time expand your awareness outwards so that you are aware of what is going on beyond the audience and the room you are in. Doing this will help to prevent you feeling overwhelmed.

Appear confident

Even though you may feel afraid and nervous, your audience does not need to know that. Choose clothes that a confident woman giving this presentation would wear, even if that feels a bit of a stretch for you. ‘Practise’ wearing these clothes outside of your work environment, whether you’re out with girlfriends or spending time with family, so that you become at ease in them. As you become comfortable wearing them, you become the confident woman you envisaged giving the talk.

Be the leader in the room

Undermining your abilities and shying away from any show of strength is a detrimental stereotype for women that is often hard to navigate. Remember that you are the one who is up front. So, you need to be the authority in the room and not be afraid to take control. Of course, you will be well prepared, that goes without saying. But beyond that, you need to be willing to be an authority on your subject, whilst including and empowering people in the audience.

Great female leaders are clear about what they know, whilst not feeling threatened by other people contributing what they know. Women looking to advance their career should seek advice from female colleagues or friends on ways they were able to take charge and assert their authority while delivering a speech – it’s vital to remember that looking to other women, particularly those in a higher position to that of yourself, for support and guidance can help you on your journey to advancing your career.

Connect with your audience

Often when people are nervous speaking, it is hard for the audience to engage with them, and sometimes even hard for the audience to hear them.

Sometimes, in an effort to avoid this, you can come across ‘pushy’, literally pushing the words and information at the audience. This tends to make the audience resistant and maybe even ‘zone out’.

An effective alternative to this is to ‘pull energy’. Many great female speakers and performers do this naturally. You can imagine a thread of energy coming from your audience, through your audience, through you and to behind you. This helps your audience feel connected to you and drawn into what you are saying. It also tends to mean they feel awake, alert and enthusiastic – which of course is what you would like them to be experiencing during your presentation or speech.

Keep it short and sweet

There is no need to tell your audience everything about your topic. Give them a base level of information, enough that they can understand what you are talking about but also so they are intrigued and wanting to know more. This provides you with an opportunity to shine even more and opens a dialogue between you and your audience, ensuring they are more engaged and interested in what you are talking about.

You can also ask a simple question to allow you to know what information to include and what to leave out: “What can I say that would enthuse this audience?” When you ask this, you start to get pointers as to what is appropriate for your intended audience.

Be you

This may at first sound strange and yet a lot of people stop being themselves when they give a presentation. They may find that they start to sound dry and boring, a bit like a textbook or that they suddenly have some mannerisms and habits of their mother or father.

If you notice this happening, simply ask yourself: “Who am I being?” It will bring you back to you and let the confident woman you know you are, shine.

Don’t be afraid of judgement

If you give a good talk, you are likely to be judged by a certain proportion of people in the room. As women, we’ve certainly experienced judgement, and even been guilty of judging others, at some point or another. Women can also often be judged when they excel in industries dominated by men. Your ability to receive this judgement will determine whether you continue to excel or choose to limit your success to provoke less judgement!

Judgement is always about the other person and never about you. It often means that the other person is not achieving what they desire, and is jealous of you and your great presentation.

So, know that the more successful you are, the more likely you are to be judged. You can even make the choice to view judgement as a motivator to fuel a decision to challenge your position and traditional dynamics in a male-dominated workplace, ask for that raise or promotion you know you deserve, or take charge during meetings and presentations more.

Putting these simple tips into practice will help you tackle the fear that many women assume is an integral part of public speaking, and be the successful businesswoman you desire and deserve to be.

About Fiona Cutts

Fiona Cutts is a communications coach, linguist and facilitator for Right Voice for You, a special program by Access Consciousness. An extremely shy and dreamy child, Fiona found herself drawn to languages and travel from a very young age. As well as her native English, she speaks German and French, and has lived in, or travelled through, countries all over the world. During her career as an accountant and auditor, Fiona struggled with an intense fear of public speaking and presentation delivery. As a Right Voice for You facilitator, she draws upon that experience to help others liberate themselves from fear and judgment, and unleash their confident and authentic voice. www.fionacutts.com

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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How Speaking Out Can Help Release Pressure

Women Speaking
As Thomas Carlyle once said, “No pressure, no diamonds.”

Indeed, pressure plays a vital role in life. It serves as an obstacle, a challenge that forces each one of us to improve, develop, and grow.

However, when you let pressure pile up unchecked and unanswered, it will cease being a challenge and start being a real problem that will inevitably take its toll on your body and mind.

Work is one of the many pressure-riddled aspects in a woman’s life. Uncooperative colleagues, office politics, supplier mixups, and clients that are difficult to deal with are just some of the common problems they usually face at work.

When you let these pressure build up at work, it will lead to performance issues and productivity slumps that will significantly hurt your chances at going up the corporate ladder or even worse, ruin your career.

It’s Time To Take Charge

Stop letting work pressure push you around. Most of the time, the cause of work pressure can be effectively handled at the onset by speaking out. Read on and find out six benefits of speaking out that can help release pressure at work and even discover ways to fast track your career:

Clear Communication is Essential at Work

From fostering great relationship with family and friends to dealing with coworkers and clients, clear communication is essential. It removes ambiguity and makes sure everyone is on the same page.

Speaking out imposes clear communication. It allows everyone to learn of your intent, issues, and suggestions clearly, which can lead to better resolutions or a great outcome. This is critical especially at work since a smooth-flowing operation heavily relies on details.

To avoid pressure due to work-related mistakes and misunderstandings, don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to speak up.

Better Working Relationships

Sometimes, speaking out may mean you’re speaking for somebody else. Not everyone has the heart to speak out in fear of indirect backlash or being deemed brash and forceful by the people at the office. By speaking out, you’re effectively fostering a better work relationship with your colleagues. After all, friends make work a lot easier.

Some of the benefits of speaking out is how it injects a dose of confidence in your peers who are unable or unwilling to speak out for themselves. By being vocal about your thoughts, you’re subtly encouraging your work mates to speak out for themselves. The people at the office will eventually thank you, and love you, for it.

Great friendship and working relationship will help in reducing pressure in a significant way.

Respecting Yourself

Speaking out means you’re setting clear boundaries on what’s best for you, your career, and your health. Being honest is a great way to reassure yourself of the self-respect you deserve.

Remember, you can only handle so much. By speaking out and being honest about it, you’re boosting your self image, helping your career grow, and keeping your health from sliding down. Even better, speaking out makes people respect you. It’s one of the great benefits of communication at work. A person who knows his abilities, limitations and knows how to assert himself is a person that will be admired and respected by everybody.

Speaking out saves you from a self-imposed pressure brought by being silent.

Silence May Means ‘Yes’

Failing to speak up may lead to manipulative bosses and opportunistic colleagues who are assuming that you’re agreeing to what could be unreasonable demands and demeaning proposals.

By keeping your mouth shut, you’re allowing these people to have their way without any semblance of resistance, which may lead to them repeating their behavior over and over until your body can’t keep up anymore and your career suffers.

Speaking up puts a stop on their untoward work behavior and release pressure at work.

Show Passion and Concern

Speaking shows your passion and concern towards work. Speaking out shows that you care enough to voice out your thoughts on the matter at hand.

People who appreciate passion isn’t confined inside the four corners of the office, passion gets the attention of senior executives.

Passion speaks volumes, it shows in your actions and it resonates among colleagues. It motivates them.

Speaking up brings out this dormant passion out.

A big bonus: communicating clearly for faster promotion is definitely a great idea. Getting promoted will essentially handle most of your finance-related pressure as well. A win-win for you and your workplace.

Keep Everyone Informed

There are a lot of unnoticed work issues that requires a person empathic enough to speak out and alert everybody of the problem before it goes out of hand.

This maybe a faulty machine, an operations loophole, or ill-will among colleagues. By refusing to speak out, you’re effectively letting this problem continue until it becomes a costly and difficult situation to handle. Turning a blind eye will only incur grudge from people and might treat you like you’re the one who instigated the problem in the first place.

This kind of pressure is avoidable and something you don’t deserve.

Put an End to Work-related Pressure Once and For All
Most of the problems at work can be attributed to poor communication. By speaking out, you’re reducing pressure at work that can gnaw and haunt your career if you left it unaddressed. One of the benefits of communication at work is that it eases up the work process and keeps everyone on good terms at the same time. Keeping this up means you’re keeping the pressure down.

Considering that half of our lives will be spent at work and with workmates, it’s necessary that you deal with work-related problems and find ways to release pressure at work as soon as you can.

Speak out.

Let your voice be heard.

Let your intentions be known.

That’s how you achieve clear and effective communication.

That’s how you can release pressure.

Guest contributed by Jona Jones

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