Voice of Experience: Daria Rippingale, CEO, BillPro

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daria rippingaleBy Cathie Ericson

“When you’re first starting out, knowing the people above you have much more knowledge and experience can feel intimidating,” acknowledges Daria Rippingale, CEO of Australia-based BillPro. “But I realized at a young age that one of the best ways to really learn is to dive in and give it a go. When looking back, I feel this has been a significant factor to the acceleration of my career.”

If ever faced with a task where she may feel daunted, Rippingale says her strategy is to just jump in. “Experiencing fear or anxiety about taking on a new challenge is not a weakness. It’s what you do about it that defines you. Holding yourself back is not beneficial to anyone. You need to be focused; stay in your own lane; and be aware of your individual skills and contributions. Then push yourself forward with confidence,” she says.

Jumping in To Build the Career She Wanted

Rippingale has definitely never hesitated to jump in. She always knew she wanted to be a business leader, having grown up with a strong role model in her mom, the National Director of the Health Department in Australia. She started as a digital marketer in the gaming industry exploring metrics, and then moved to the payments department where she managed the money coming in and out of games.

“I realized how much I enjoyed working in finance and wanted to stay involved with payments. So I found a payment startup, knocked on their door and introduced myself, and that was the start,” she says.

By the age of 26 she was promoted to CEO, overseeing 14 men, all of whom were older than her. “I was aware that taking on this position at my age would come with certain challenges, but I’m a solution-oriented person; I knew I would figure it out,” she says. And that she did, expanding into Canada, Hong Kong, the United States and throughout Europe, transforming the company into a global financial institution.

Over the years, the industry has expanded, in large part because of the ubiquity of social media as well as the global nature of business. “It used to be a big leap to think about doing business with someone in the U.K., but having everyone connected has had a huge impact on business.” For example, she now works with lots of U.S. companies, where even three years ago, the prospect of billing internationally sounded like a logistical nightmare. “Geographical boundaries are disappearing as a barrier.”

Success is Never Based on Gender

Rippingale has been aware of gender barriers over the years, but believes most are self-made. While she sees how women may be intimated, that’s never been an issue for her; in fact, she says she relishes these perceived “gender barriers” because of her personality. “I enjoy when a man is condescending; it makes me instantly know they lack self-confidence, and I won’t waste my time with them,” she says.

Women have to stop thinking about gender and just focus on their capabilities. “In my company your value is in what you contribute. We don’t have men and women; we have a team of ambitious and intelligent individuals who each contribute to the positive corporate culture we’ve developed. It has nothing to do with gender.”

Although today’s payment companies are in many ways the new iteration of male-dominated banking, the men she deals with now are “younger and hipper.” That means that while it’s still a “boy’s club,” she finds this younger generation to be easier to crack as a woman — dealing with peers who are more enlightened than the gatekeepers of old.
“When I started in the gaming industry there were 53 guys, and three women: the “model,” someone in customer service and me doing analytics. I spent three days feeling diminished and decided I was done with that: I was here to achieve and moved on to do that.”

Women Uniquely Qualified for Startups

Women and startups are an ideal match because of natural personal traits that women exude, from their capacity for multitasking to their propensity to display grit – the ability to bear and get through challenging situations.

Where others see inequality, she is impressed with the amazing strides women have made: Considering that women in her grandmother’s generation didn’t even work, she views as incredible the rise in stature women have achieved, with essentially a history of only 50 years in the workforce.

“The women I have hired are all very successful and very confident; I tell them to be empowered by that success, to always remember how they got to where they are.”

A Role Model and Champion

Active in a Women in Payments group, Rippingale is also highly involved in one-on-one mentoring to help women just starting in the industry.

She also is an avid supporter of the fact that it need have zero impact on a woman’s career when she has a child. “We are a digital business, and I have built the company to offer great maternity and paternity leave, with multiple options for how we make it work.”

Some women might want a home office to help them get back in the groove before they return and others may need increased flexibility. The company offers a reintroduction program and employees are encouraged to stay involved as much or as little as they want while they are out.

“I’ve been on the journey with friends and family when they were making this life-altering transition. I can only appreciate just how hard it would be to take your head out of work mode, care for a baby and then jump back in. I have great respect for any woman (or man) who is juggling the work-life-family balance. As a CEO, I think it’s imperative to set the standard by providing the required support and flexibility to allow them to continue a thriving career alongside their new family priorities.”

Making Friends Wherever She Goes

With all the travel she does for work, Rippingale enjoys developing friendship circles around the world. “I love meeting people and learning about their culture, their stories, and the nuances that make them unique.” In what little spare time she has, she enjoys learning languages and experimenting with cuisines of the world. “I am obsessed with vegetarian meals and love cooking ethnic foods; it’s the perfect complement to my affinity for all things global.”

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Why it’s a bigger Issue than work-family conflict

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By Aimee Hansen

The culture of chronic overwork isn’t working in many ways, but there’s one way it works too well: upholding gender inequality.

Professor Robin Ely of Harvard Business School, co-author of a recent study released by the Gender Initative, tells us “It is the culture of overwork—not women’s work-family conflict—that locks gender inequality in place.”

According to Ely and her co-authors, the focus on work-family conflict is a gendered diversion from the bigger 24/7 work week problem that deflects long hours as a women’s issue. We spoke to Ely about the dilemma, what needs to change and what women can do.conflict couple

The 24/7 Work Week Strains Both Sexes

In an interview-based study of a global consulting firm, co-authors Ely, Irene Padavic of Florida State University and Erin Reid of Boston University found that men had the same turn-over rates as women and reported the 24/7 hour work week was just as compromising to their family lives, too.

Reid wrote in Harvard Business Review that men reported feeling “overworked and underfamilied.”
Yet despite much evidence that overwork backfires for employees and companies, a culture of overwork continues to remain the norm for being seen as competitive.

Ely noted, “For employees, being needed 24/7 is like a symbol of status; it means we’re important.”

In fact, the researchers found often the extra hours are spent on proving importance. Ely shared, “in the case study, many people said that they actually wasted a lot of time; for example, they spent a lot of time perfecting their work product, not because the client needed it to be perfect, but because it was a way to prove how smart they are to each other. That kind of work doesn’t contribute to delivering value but it does perpetuate the 24/7 standard.”

With both men and women struggling with the 24/7 expectation, what differed was how women and men cope and the resulting impact on their careers.

Women Are Overt In Coping, Men Are More Discreet

Women tended to make transparent and formal arrangements, such as reduced hours or other family-friendly policies which often come with a “flexibility stigma” and backfire to derail their careers. Reid wrote that men who were transparent about difficulties in managing hours were also penalized, harshly, for not being perceived as a devoted employee.

Men, however, are much more likely to cope informally to handle time pressures under-the-radar, while still appearing to be fully devoted. In research with the same firm, Reid found that nearly a third of the men interviewed used discreet hour-cutting strategies such as lining up local clients, building alliances with colleagues, not revealing their whereabouts between phone calls, and “passing” at working 80 hour weeks when they simply weren’t.

Faking it worked and these men did as well on performance reviews as those pulling long hours. What mattered was performance coupled with the perception they were overworking. In other words, being an 80 hour devotee mostly has to do with appearance.

“Passing” is Tempting, But Not The Real Answer

If you’re beginning to think you could become skilled at “passing” yourself, there is a gender trap. Even if deception was the secret to career advancement, it’s harder for women. It’s easier for men, in Reid’s words, “to stray while passing as fully devoted.”

The bigger issue, Ely emphasized, is an underlying culture that holds up 24/7 as the norm, and implicitly disadvantages women by doing so.

“Despite the increased flexibility that technology has allowed, many organizations continue to reward ‘face time’ as well as the appearance of constant work (emails sent late at night, for example),” said Ely. “Couple this practice with the fact that when women do take advantage of flexibility, they are presumed to be doing so for family reasons while men are more often assumed to be leaving the office early to, say, meet with clients, and you have a situation in which employees feel compelled to be “present” (whether in the office or online) all the time and women are seen as less capable of meeting that demand.”
“Passing”, while covert defiance, isn’t as easy for women and falsely reaffirms the 24/7 norm is necessary to performance.

What Can Women Do?

Overwork is a cultural and industry-level issue but women can get savvy to their surroundings.

“Women, specifically, should look for signs of whether working mothers who take advantage of family accommodations experience career derailments,” Ely told us. “Companies often tout flexibility policies that appeal to women with children, but in practice taking advantage of those policies means being seen as lacking leadership potential.”
Ely advised to ask critical questions: “Can women who use family accommodation policies maintain the careers they want, or are they shunted into less prestigious, less powerful roles?”
“Ultimately, women need some key supports,” said Ely, “including organizations that don’t equate having children with a lack of commitment to our jobs and managers who give us opportunities to develop and shine even if we’re not available 24/7.”
She also iterated the importance of supportive family and partners, and not necessarily putting your career second. “We need to visit and revisit the social contract with our partner to make sure that we each are living a life that is consistent with our individual and collective goals.”
The work-family discussion is too small if being a 24/7 employee remains the benchmark. This issue is bigger than gender, because it’s not only women who suffer, even if it’s their careers that do.

“Research indicates that companies can be productive and competitive without demanding constant availability from their employees,” said Ely, “if we could start to see that realized in practice, more and more organizations might be willing to break this mould.”

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Looking to get to the C-Suite? Here are six steps to career success

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Women-Cheering-featuredGuest Contributed by Morag Barret

Career paths can be unpredictable, peppered with pivot-points, and rife with opportunities that can make – or break – your trajectory. The path to the C-Suite isn’t a straight line, nor is it one you can coast along. If you aren’t scared just a little bit along the way, you probably aren’t moving fast enough or taking (informed) risks!

Getting to the C-Suite can be a daunting journey for even the most seasoned professionals. Hard work alone is not enough, and can actually keep you stuck at your current career level rather than catapult you forward.
If hard work isn’t the answer, how do you get to the C-Suite? I called several leaders that I know and respect for their advice. Here’s what they had to say:

Never stop learning

Pay attention to the leaders you admire and seek to understand what makes them stand out. “The biggest mistake a leader can make is to stop learning,” shared Rose Else-Mitchell, Executive Vice President at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

“Modeling continuous learning creates a culture that benefits everyone, encourages risk, innovation and self-responsibility.”

Seek out daily opportunities to learn and demonstrate your readiness for a promotion. Don’t wait for a bigger title to show others that you’re capable of operating at that next leadership level today.

Have a vision

“Hope” is not a strategy to adopt when it comes to managing your career. Whether your goal is to achieve the top job, move to a vice president role, or from manager to director, you need a plan — and to execute that plan!

“Make sure it’s your plan.” advises Barbara Dondiego, CMO at AVOXI. “If you choose to ‘Lean In,’ make sure you understand your reasons for doing so. Run towards the hard problems that others step away from. It’s the best preparation for the C-Suite you can ever have.”

Broaden your point of view

In the early stages of our career, we tend to have a narrow point of view, and be focused on our immediate function and area of expertise. Success in the C-Suite requires that you have a broad leadership point of view.

Susan Reynolds, former COO at Naviasys, recommends that you “be a business person who understands your business or profession. Focus on what matters to your company and know your stuff. Make your company profitable by contributing to the skills of your group, and be accountable for the failures, as well as the successes.”

As a CXO, you’ll need to understand the whole business: from finance to operations, technology to HR. Get involved and volunteer for cross-functional projects. If you’re not equipped to spend time in these parts of your organization, then take a class, study, seek out a mentor from across the company, and start talking the language of business.

Nurture professional relationships

“Success in your career is driven by the relationships you form,” says Judy Batenburg, SVP of IT Services at Starz. “Get to know your allies, those who can help you move forward, and also those who might hinder your success. Work to cultivate strong professional relationships.”

Relationships matter, especially when it comes to moving your career forward. Why? Because the senior roles aren’t (usually) filled as a result of a job advertisement or resumes submitted online. Before a senior role even hits the job market, conversations will have been held along the lines of, “Who do we know that could fill this role?” “Who do we want to invite to join our team?”

Make sure to cultivate your professional relationships now, so that your name is the first that is suggested. Your future career progression may depend on it!

Invest in your support network

Shannon Sisler, SVP of Talent Management Human Resources at Western Union, recognized that as she moved through her career, there were ever increasing personal and professional demands on her time. Having a strong support network is vital, and can include someone that takes care of the yard, more flexible child support, an awesome assistant at work, a personal trainer, and even someone that can ensure you get regular date nights with a partner. Shannon advises: “Don’t feel guilty asking for help… you can’t be everything to everyone. Invest your efforts in the personal and professional areas that matter most!”

Don’t watch the game. Play the Game.

As you climb the corporate ladder, you will encounter hurdles. You can either rail against the system and refuse to play – or, you can choose to learn the game, play the game, and ultimately change the game.

Simone Reynolds, Chief Human Resources Officer at Coalfire Systems Inc. advises “Be authentic! Don’t change to fit the mold instead stay within the guardrails and be authentically you. In doing so you build trust, and the ability to influence others in a multitude of ways. The best way to change things is to work the system not revolt against it.”

Your Steps to the C-Suite

There is no one path to reach the C-suite. This is your career journey to find and forge. You can either wing it and hope that your smarts land you your dream role, or you can be deliberate, thoughtful, and take control of the process. Experience has shown that the latter approach is more likely to result in a successful outcome. Only you can choose to invest the time in developing your self and demonstrating your leadership capabilities that set you up for success today — and for tomorrow.

Morag Barrett is the best-selling author of Cultivate: The Power of Winning Relationships and CEO of SkyeTeam, an international HR consulting and leadership development company. Morag’s experience ranges from senior executive coaching to developing leaders and teams across Europe, America and Asia. SkyeTeam works with clients in a range of industries including: Healthcare, Telecoms, Mining, Manufacturing, Engineering, and Technology. www.skyeteam.com

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The Power of Reflection (On Peak Work Experiences)

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

Have you ever thought about your peak experience at work? A time, team or task where you literally had a good time and felt great about the project? Maybe it was the achievements, or accolades, or the people involved or the fact that you just liked the task in hand? You see, the point is that everyone is different and what we need to feel  good at work is in part, a lot to do with our personality. shutterstock_129586559

When coaching, I often run an assessment called the Hogan on my clients as it can help identify what is important to you, and only you. So, for some people, it is the power and recognition that feels good, while others like the rewards that can be banked or even the feeling of putting out an aesthetically perfect project. Others are people or relationship focused and want to have fun at work or feel highly affiliated with the team or the firm or the values attached to the work.

Either way, stopping to think about when you were happiest and looking deeper at those elements that created that good feeling is a very good exercise to do once a year or so. Equally looking at projects or tasks that brought you down is worth examination also.

Culture at work ( or how we do things around here) is very much made up of behaviors from you and the other people in the company. You have a personality, and that is fairly intrinsic but what does change is the environment that you work in and that effects how you act and react.

A fun but thought provoking book to read on personalities is called ‘”The Chameleon- Life Changing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has a Personality or Knows Someone who Does” as it will help you understand yourself and others around you. If you want an academic read, i would recommend Dr. Robert Hogan’s “Personality and the Fate of Organizations.

Also, knowing that you have “go to” behaviors is something that is invaluable in certain situations because as soon as learn what types of situations and people stress you out, then you can see your reaction in your mind’s eye and you get to choose how that plays out. Caveat, you can get stuck in roles and yes people see you for your social identities way more than they should ( such as gender and their notions of “how women should be” etc) but you get to truly choose your behavior if you start to do this work to know yourself better.

If you are interested in hiring an executive coach to help you navigate your career then please email nicki@theglasshammer.com for more information

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Voice of Experience: Rebecca Kniesel, Head of Institutional Marketing, Voya

rebecca-knieselBy Cathie Ericson

“To stand out, I suggest volunteering for projects outside of your comfort zone,” recommends Voya’s Rebecca Kniesel. “I wasn’t always comfortable at certain points along my career journey; but, you have to be open to these situations and get as comfortable being uncomfortable as you can.”

Charting Her Own Course in the Financial Industry

Kniesel began her career with the consumer retail banking division of MBNA America (now Bank of America), one of the first credit card companies to pioneer affinity marketing.

Living in Wilmington, Delaware at the time, she decided she wanted to head to the bright lights of the big city and went from credit card banking to investment banking, where she was hired in a marketing capacity for the syndicated loan division of Bankers Trust. Two months after she joined the firm, it merged with Deutsche Bank and her role changed significantly. Rebecca had the opportunity to join DB Capital Partners in which she focused on marketing and sales for 3rd party private equity funds. It was a big shift from credit card marketing and was a true investment banking job which included lots of late nights and long hours.

She then pursued an opportunity with Chase Private Bank – just three months before its merger with J.P. Morgan – and she spent four years there in marketing for the Latin American and U.S. private banks, as well as two years in marketing for institutional asset management. She later moved on to BlackRock (which had just announced its merger with Merrill Lynch Investment Management), in the dual role of marketing and consultant relations. Following this period, she returned to J.P. Morgan in a marketing capacity focused on fixed income for about seven years before she learned of a great opportunity at Voya, which she says has been a fantastic opportunity to round out her background.

Kniesel’s career path includes 3 mega-mergers early in her career, which is a big reason she’s had to learn how to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. “The industry changes constantly, your career can change on a dime and you need to be flexible enough to navigate that”, she says.

As Kniesel’s degree was in psychology, she’s had to learn a lot on the job and is a big proponent of encouraging new entrants to the field who may not have a finance or mathematical background. “I have charted my own path and have had to teach myself on the job,” she says. “I am proud of the financial and technical expertise I bring to my current position and know that if I can accomplish that, others with a similar educational background can too.”

She says that initially she felt self-conscious working with people who had learned the fundamentals of the business in school. But what she realized – and shares with younger professionals rising through the ranks – is that the industry is “not impossible to learn, even though people might make you feel like it is. Don’t be afraid to ask questions; people expect you to,” she says.

Currently, Kniesel is immersed in planning an annual investment seminar that the institutional division runs each year for its top clients, from institutional plan sponsors to defined contribution plan sponsors, insurance clients and consultants. The event includes a day of presentations, coupled with breakout sessions and topped off with a keynote speaker and dinner.

“I’m really excited about the agenda we are building for this years’ seminar, with current topics that showcase Voya’s capacity as a solutions provider,” she says.

It’s an exciting time to be in the industry, given the changes wrought by the digital age and what that means for financial services. With everyone constantly on their smartphones and being bombarded with options that allow them to make decisions on everything from groceries to finances on their devices, traditional marketers have an intriguing task to take a business that’s traditionally relationship-oriented and build marketing programs and content that breaks through the noise.

The Challenge of Increasing Women’s Participation in the Financial Industry

Expectations of the traditional work environment in the financial industry typically lack flexibility, which Kniesel sees as an ongoing, but unnecessary, barrier to keeping women in the industry. “As a manager, I want to understand what helps my team achieve their best at work,” she says, adding that all employees have responsibilities outside their time in the office, whether that’s caring for a sick parent or a young child. “If they work better at 3 a.m., then that’s what they should do. It’s unfortunate that in the financial world, that mindset is still not pervasive because it creates a barrier for women and not just those with children: ‘Do I spend my life in an industry that doesn’t allow me to juggle all aspects of my life the way I need to, or do I go elsewhere?’”

She says that women who have achieved success in the industry need to continue to push the envelope to make this “a career our children will continue to want.”

As a member of Voya’s New York Women’s Network, Kniesel is excited about partnering with the human resources department on a related area – welcoming women back to the office after returning from maternity leave. Companies have made huge strides in this area and she’s passionate about doing even more, particularly as the transition back to the office after maternity leave is an incredibly vulnerable time. If not handled well, it can significantly impact a woman’s decision to remain in the workforce.

She knows the challenges well, since she herself has a three-year old son who “is her whole world and has changed the way I look at life and work.”

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How Professional Women Can Turn Anticipation Into a Leadership Boon

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Managing ChangeSpell “words” backwards, and it becomes “sword.” When it comes to language in management meetings, it turns out that women wield a double-edged sword, a way of either weakening or strengthening their leadership position through the way they wield their words.

Research has found that as they speak, women tend to be more likely to be simultaneously aware of the concerns and agendas of others, and to adjust their language to reflect this. Professor Judith Baxter, Professor of Applied Linguistics at Aston University, UK calls this “double-voicing.”

Simply put, the ability to strategically incorporate what you anticipate others are thinking or feeling as you speak can be a career-boosting skill in your back pocket, if wielded selectively and well.

Anytime you are not only speaking your thoughts or views but are at the same time reflecting and incorporating what you believe others may think or feel into what you say, you’re double-voicing. You’re voicing for yourself and for those you’re speaking to or with.

It’s a “double-edged sword” which you might be using to undercut your leadership presence. But used strategically, it’s a masterful skill you can harness as a powerful leadership asset.

Women and Double-Voicing

In studying top-level conversations across seven major companies in the UK, Baxter found one fundamental distinction between male and female leadership language: “Women were four times more likely than men to be self-critical, qualify their comments, speak indirectly or apologetically when broaching difficult subjects with board members or when managing conflict.”

Baxter argues in a Babel article that as women climb the corporate ladder, in order to gain acceptance and approval they practice “serious linguistic work such as the carefully judged use of apology, humour, self-mockery, understatement, implied meaning and deference in order to minimise direct confrontation or criticism from male colleagues.”

How Double-Voicing Can Dilute Your Leadership

We already know that women’s words often are not treated the same as men’s in the office. When women are more assertive with their words, they can be judged more harshly than men are, for going against gender norms. So there’s strong reasons why women adapt how they speak.

But it’s harmful when women habitually use their tongue to weaken their own leadership stance. According to Baxter, double-voicing can be used to deliver “self-inflicted wounds.” For example, when double-voicing is used to pre-empt how others might perceive you as the speaker, you simply deflate your own authority and words.

This might sound like, “I realize I’m not the expert, but…” or “Sorry if I’m speaking out of turn, but…” or “I don’t mean to be difficult, but…” In her observations of top meetings, Baxter heard one woman caveat that she was “talking too much,” having taking only spoken twice, and watched the men nodding in agreement.

As Baxter told Virgin, women use double-voicing “to pre-empt criticism from colleagues and not to appear demanding or boastful. Double-voicing makes women seem less threatening to colleagues, both male and female.”

But trying to disarm the perceived critical viewpoint of others, when it comes to your authority or expertise as a speaker, has the reverse impact. When a woman hedges the very act of speaking, she is stealing the power of her words before she even gets them out. Baxter consistently found this kind of double-voicing was viewed negatively by all colleagues, damaging to the leadership positioning and authority of women.

Double-voicing can also take more seemingly benign forms that still undermine speech. “I probably haven’t understood you correctly, but…” or “I have probably got my wires crossed but should we consider…” or “You have probably thought about this point already, but…” This puts the speaker on the back foot.

How Double-Voicing Can Strengthen Your Leadership

In her book, “Double-voicing at Work: Power, Gender and Linguistic Expertise,” Baxter asserts that double-voicing is a form of “linguistic expertise.” The challenge is to use it deliberately.

Baxter writes in a Babel, “I suggest that double-voicing need not be a sign of weakness, but could actually be a source of strength.” She notes, “Double-voicing could be a highly sophisticated strategy to consolidate team relationships while achieving a female leader’s own agenda.”

According to Baxter, double-voicing can be used to “draw out a colleague who is silent, or to silence another who is outspoken, and to anticipate an emerging conflict and to soothe it into resolution.” Above all, it can help you communicate more effectively and inclusively as a leader.

If effective leadership means moving towards social awareness (not just self), being inquisitive (not directive), building power with (not over) colleagues, as well as showing an outward focus in your language, then double-voicing is a very powerful leadership skill when applied well.

For example, when applied not to second-guess your contribution as a speaker, but demonstrate insight and forethought about how others may feel about the content you are sharing, double-voicing can be “a highly constructive tool for leadership.”

It’s a skill to be able to anticipate the likely thoughts of the audience and incorporate those thoughts into your message to bring others onside as you are speaking. It’s a skill to reflect awareness of cultural or situational expectations. It’s a skill to pre-empt or diffuse criticism or agendas that could dilute the impact of the core point you are getting across. It’s a skill to reflect the perceived audience perspective in a way that builds greater solidarity with you as the speaker.

This could sound like, “The first question you may raise is…”, “Right now, you are probably wondering about x, and I’ve thought about that..”, or “At this point, we may all be asking ourselves…”

Double-voicing used intentionally, powerfully and iteratively reflects a “sophisticated linguistic expertise.”

Women’s voices are too seldom heard in the top executive offices and boardrooms for lack of representation. A woman’s double-voicing may reflect an internalization of the dialling down of women’s voices, a trace of acknowledgement that her voice is new here and has not always been validated.

But it’s time to self-validate. Flip double-voicing around as a leadership asset, and it’s one way to dial female leadership right up.

By Aimee Hansen

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Are Women and Men Different When It Comes to Executive Presence?

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Guest Contributed by Suzanne Bates

Novelist Stephen King once said “The fundamental difference between the sexes is this: men make assumptions, but women rarely do.” That’s often proven out in business. Many women have been reluctant to put up their hands for a new role until they have felt ready, while many men have assumed they are ready now.

However, new research is bucking conventional ways of thinking about the difference between women. When it comes to perceptions of women’s executive presence, there are few real differences between women and men, especially their ability to engage, inspire align and drive results.

A breakthrough model based on the research into executive presence explains why it matters to both men and women. Drawing from studies in English language from around the world, in disciplines ranging from leadership and management theory to psychology, social action theory, communication, philosophy and ethics over several decades, a modern view of leadership presence has emerged. It takes includes qualities that have never been measured in other models, especially qualities of character.

It turns out there are 15 qualities that are essential, in three dimensions: Character, Substance and Style. Executive presence is about a lot more than a designer suit, or a great presentation. Perceptions of qualities like Authenticity, Concern, Confidence, Humility, Resonance, and Integrity determine our influence and impact.

Bates Communication, EP Model

In a happy surprise, aggregate data shows differences in executive presence between men and women aren’t even as significant as they are among women. Think about it. Women, like men, come from different backgrounds, cultures, and are influenced by many things, from their upbringing, to the type of job and industry they choose, and he people who have influenced them.

The question is if women are different, what does it mean to help them advance to the C-Suite? Let’s look at data on how supervisors view women, since the boss’s view certainly counts. It turns out there are not statistically significant differences between how supervisors rated men and women, certainly not enough to hold them back. In fact, supervisors rate women on average higher in Appearance, defined as looking the part and bringing energy and vitality into the room.

We aren’t saying there aren’t any differences, only that alone they aren’t enough to explain what’s keeping women from moving ahead in their careers. There are other factors – gender bias still exists in the workplace, though it may be abating. Women don’t always feel that confident, as many popular books have documented.

However, we have some surprising news in that category. Most popular books have defined confidence as self-efficacy – the feeling inside we have that “I can do it”. In our model we define it as how others view a leader’s ability to make the tough calls, promote timely decision making, and hold herself and others accountable. When we look at it that way again, there is not much difference between women and men, except on one question out of six.

Still there’s no denying the facts about promotions. Study after study shows women are struggling to advance to senior management. For instance, a 2014 Grant Thornton International Business Report documented that the proportion of women in senior roles globally was stuck at 24%, the same as 2013, 2009 and 2007 (the numbers were even worse in 2011 and 2012, when women were hard hit by the global economic crisis).

At the same time, during this period, Fortune 500 companies invested billions to help women advance. Why aren’t these programs working? We think it’s because however well-meaning, most women’s programs see women as a homogenous group. What evolved were one-size-fits-all approaches that don’t work.

Imagine two women, Jane and Dana, working for the same company. If both of them had the benefit of an individual assessment, the Bates Executive Presence Index (ExPI), they would have very different profiles. Jane is high in assertiveness – able to get issues on the table and make them discussable. Dana is low in this quality. The same course, on negotiation, or assertiveness, might help Dana but would waste Jane’s time and potentially lead her astray, to overexert a strength instead of working on other areas, like Concern or Resonance.

What’s desperately needed is a new approach to women’s development. We need to look at women as individuals. Now, using assessment, we can provide women and men with accurate data and measurement, and relevant advice. They can see out the advice of coaches and mentors and take course specific to their needs. This can help them get beyond frustrating inflection points in their careers.

Our advice for women is to ask for individual assessment, and then, seek professional feedback, and be open to advice from trusted sources. We also advise many organizations on how to evolve their women’s programs to take a thoughtful approach to innovation. Women and the organizations that have women’s networks should not abandon them, but look at them as networking opportunities. It’s time to shake up the status quo, and figure out how to help each woman become all she can be.

Author bio:
Suzanne Bates is CEO of Bates Communications, a firm that advises senior executive leaders in executive presence and communicative leadership. She’s a speaker, coach and author of five books, including All the Leader You Can Be, the Science of Achieving Extraordinary Executive Presence (McGraw Hill, March 2016). To take a complimentary, pre-assessment questionnaire that will help you appreciate how the Bates Executive Model is relevant to you, go to Alltheleaderbook.com

Guest Contributions are not necessarily the opinions and views of theglasshammer.com

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Say It Like You Mean It: How to Communicate Effectively at Work

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Women SpeakingGuest contributed by Desiree Simons

You’ve worked hard to get where you are. You’ve earned your success because you’re not afraid of hard work. However, sometimes communicating with your male colleagues can seem like trying to put a puzzle together without all the pieces. The good news? There are skills you can learn that will help.

Most experts agree that women and men communicate differently but are quick to point out that one style is not better than the other. Diverse gender skill sets contribute to a better workplace, but adaptability, and knowing when to use a different approach can be a game changer for everybody.

Get to the Point

Women tell more backstory and narrative before getting to the point. Sometimes retelling how you got from point A to point B is not needed. Backstory is redundant if colleagues are familiar with the project.

Women also hedge and use qualifiers when speaking. For example, “Do you think, what if we, have you considered?” We are raised to be polite, but if something is not a question, don’t’ make it sound like a question. Instead of saying, “Would you mind, or Could you…” Instead say, “I’ll need that by… or Let’s plan for…” Men are used to speaking more directly. “We must….”, It’s important to understand…, and I’ll go over the final section…”

Beth Levine, SmartMouth Communications consultant and author of Jock Talk: 5 Communication Principles for Leaders as Exemplified by Legends of the Sports World, calls this “diminishing language,” and believes it causes peers (both male and female) to see women as less confident. Know your main idea and state it quickly to your listener. Some experts suggest creating bullet points in your mind before you go into a meeting. Stay clear of “tag language,” such as, “Isn’t it? Don’t you think? or Don’t you agree?” at the end of your statements. Levine also says women use the phrase, “I feel” too much at work. For example, “I don’t feel right about the proposed expansion.” Men typically say, “I think the proposed expansion will cause the following problems.” Say what you think, not what you feel.

Stand Your Ground

According to Danielle Lindner, adjunct professor of the Psychology of Women courses at Stetson University, “Women are socialized to be harmonizers and peacemakers.” They sometimes compromise rather than standing firm during a potential conflict situation. Standing your ground may result in not being liked by some co-workers, but Linda Henman, Ph.D., author of Challenge the Ordinary and Landing in the Executive Chair says, sometimes you have to forget about being liked. “Results, not harmony is the goal.”

Speak up in meetings, even if you risk being wrong. If people behave badly towards you, don’t assume it’s because you’re a woman. Don’t take a disagreement personally. Put it behind you and look for the next opportunity to showcase your skills.

Play to Your Strengths

Patricia Rossman, Chief Diversity Officer of BASF, a 100-year-old global chemical company acknowledges different gender communication styles but stresses the need for diversity and believes woman bring a unique and valuable skill set to the workplace.
Women tend to have a collaborative rather than a competitive approach to problem solving, as well as a kind of “emotional intelligence.” Rossman defines this as “looking for the deeper impact,” of interactions, decisions, and discussions. Others refer to it as a relational approach. Whatever you want to call it, women tend to be good at looking at the bigger picture.

Women also use and interpret nonverbal communication more than men. Noticing things like eye contact, body language, facial expressions… allow women to pick up vital clues.

The bottom line is simple. Be yourself but remember the most effective communicators know a variety of strategies and choose the best one for a given situation. If you do this, you’ll always say what you mean and mean what you say.

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Voice of Experience: Dalia Ahmed, Executive Director, Ultra High Net Worth, UBS

Dalia AhmedYoung professionals tend to take everything personally – whether comments come from colleagues or clients. “It’s easy to be sensitive, but it’s important to realize that most of the time, the comments or feedback are not personal. Developing a thick skin, especially in a male-dominated environment, will help you succeed,” says UBS’ Dalia Ahmed.

Deep Relationships Propel Her Career

This observation has helped Dalia throughout her professional life, which has been focused on building strong relationships with her clients. She began her career in London, joining Coutts bank where she spent 8 years covering private banking clients in the Middle East. After the birth of her second child, she took a short break and then joined UBS in Dubai as the second client advisor in their first advisory office in the region, a position she still holds.

Over the past decade she is proud of the trusted advisor role she has achieved. “That’s the most important factor in this business — becoming part of clients’ lives and not just as a banker,” she says. “I’m proud of the deep relationships I’ve built with these amazing families and being invited to share in their success stories.” She notes that by nature her ultra-high net worth clients are very interesting people and although their conversations begin around finances — investments, risk and return, performance, etc. — these exchanges frequently turn to the personal side.

They’ll discuss issues much closer to the client’s heart, such as the client’s vision for the family and family business, whether the children are ready to take over and any specific educational needs for the next generation.

“Research shows that less than one-third of family businesses survive the transition from first to second generation ownership and another 50% don’t survive the transition from second to third generation. I meet many families whose main concern is how to efficiently transfer their business and wealth to the next generation,” she says.

One of the areas that she finds most interesting in the industry today is the rising trend of ultra-high net worth families setting up family offices for intergenerational wealth transfer. This has highlighted the need for private banks to think more radically about how they can best serve this type of client, she says, because a traditional wealth management setting will not be sufficient for the sophisticated demands of these family offices. “Increasingly private banks will have to include services such as global custody, lending, execution, investment banking, private markets and more, which of course not all private banks have the scale to provide.”

In her client-facing capacity, every day is interesting because she is constantly meeting new people and forging new relationships. “You have to make sure you are always doing something satisfying and inspiring or every day will be challenging. If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, the pressure and hours can be very difficult to manage,” she says.

Helping Women Be Successful in the Industry

Although the industry begins with a 50/50 male/female split, female attrition happens as they rise through the ranks. The question, Dalia notes, is why women leave the industry. She believes that there are no structural barriers or barriers caused by overt hostility but rather an ingrained unconscious bias about what it takes to perform at the top, such as being aggressive and determined, attributes people are less likely to ascribe to women. “These issues are very subtle which makes them harder to identify and tackle,” she says.

The male-dominated culture can be intimidating to talented women, she says, but notes that much of the reason there are more men are because of lifestyle issues: late nights and overnight travel become more difficult, and many women are likely to look at that lifestyle and decide they don’t want to do that. “Financial industries need to change their old-fashioned work practices that reward people for working at the office late at night, because it’s not conducive to many women who have families at home,” she says.

That’s why she encourages women who have risen in the industry to realize the importance of being role models for younger women. “Since we are a minority it’s more important than ever for us to help each other, to be visible. We have to show the new female entrants that women can succeed in these positions.”

She is proud of the initiatives UBS has developed to support women and create change within the culture, such as the Diversity and Inclusion Council that ensures that the firm creates an open environment. As a service organization with a diverse client base, it’s particularly important that they be visible with a diverse workforce.

The firm is in the midst of rolling out training in unconscious bias that all wealth management staff will take by 2018. The training will cover gender and other diversity issues that she says forward-thinking firms have to learn how to acknowledge and overcome. One area ripe for additional focus is supporting and retaining women after maternity leave.

Ahmed participated in the Women in Wealth Forum, an annual event that provides a platform for women to network and bolster their skills and is very supportive of the Leading Women of Wealth Management group, which provides coaching and helps women develop their talents. She encourages young professionals to seek out similar groups to help them nurture relationships with a trusted mentor who can offer advice in the challenging situations that are sure to arise.

In her free time, Dalia likes to read and cycle, but most of all she focuses on spending time with her children, a son, age 14, and a daughter, age 11. “I love to listen to their views and opinions; their simple perspective helps me to cut through all the unnecessary complexities of life.”

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Voice of Experience: Sandy Rubinstein, CEO, DXagency

voice-of-experience-sandy-rubinstein-ceo-dxagencyA second-generation immigrant from Chile, Sandy Rubinstein grew up in a close-knit Hispanic community in Miami with a family and heritage which had a sizeable influence on her career.

Her parents arrived in the country not knowing English, and her mom learned it along with her while they watched Sesame Street together. In fact, her mother wouldn’t speak Spanish outside the house, because she felt that the family was here and should conform to this country’s norms.

Rubenstein saw they came to this country not expecting anything, and that philosophy has stuck with her. “My parents instilled in me the mentality that you have to make your own path; you can’t expect anyone to hand anything to you.”

From Music to Advertising

A classically trained opera singer, Rubinstein attended college to study music, but also earned a companion degree focused on marketing and business administration.

“My parents were so excited that I was studying music — part of it was that they believed I shouldn’t waste an opportunity — but I assured my mom I needed to also take business courses to have something to fall back on,” she recalls.

And once she took an advertising and marketing class, she was hooked. “Part of it was the performer in me; I wanted to make people feel something, and advertising has the power to do that,” she says.

After 20 years in television marketing, she joined DX in 2009 out of a desire to get more involved in the digital realm. For several years she had been recommending media plans with more focus on digital initiatives, but when she received little traction she realized it was time to do something different and has never looked back.

As marketing evolves, she has noticed that clients are once again investing in email, which she sees as a smart tactic that she is thrilled is coming back in a big way. And since video continues to be a medium that will grow, the agency recently added a video studio for its clients.

Mentoring Brings Important Lessons to Others

Although she’s achieved much work-related success launching new products and supporting brands, Rubinstein says that her proudest moments have come from her mentoring efforts. “It only takes one person to change someone’s life, and nothing else has the same long-term impact as making a difference in someone’s career,” she says, noting that she has had a mentor almost from Day One who still guides her. She hosts interns in her office and also helps at the local high school which has a track with a marketing focus.

The lessons she teaches young women range from the practical — “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have” — to the philosophical, such as knowing themselves before they expect others to know them. “It’s difficult for people to view you how you want to be viewed if you don’t see yourself that way,” she notes.

She also warns women they are likely to have to work twice as hard as their male counterparts, especially if they choose to be a mom and have a thriving career. “I knew that I would have to make certain sacrifices, but it was worth it to work twice as hard at work to cover everything so I could focus on my babies at home.” She notes that women will have tough times personally and professionally but they have to work to build the career that allows them to achieve what they want.

Over the years, Rubinstein has learned the wisdom of not taking everything so seriously. “You have to laugh at yourself and stressful moments,” she says, citing the importance of perspective. “Unless you’re a doctor in the NICU, the issue is probably not as critical as you perceive it to be, and once you get out of the vortex and whirl of negativity, you’re likely to have better judgment regarding a given situation.”

Although she has never felt that being a woman has held her back, she notes that women do have common stereotypes with which they’ll be labeled, especially as they become more successful. A passionate woman will be called emotional, and a strong one will be seen as bossy.

“That’s not going to change but what has to change is that women have to say ‘So what? Move on. I don’t care if you see me as bossy.’ As women we are constantly looking to please everyone because it’s in our nature. But we have to start by pleasing ourselves too.”

She also believes that women need to have each other’s backs. “Be nice. Prop each other up, rather than tearing each other down,” she says. “Women tend to get in each other’s way, and we need to build each other up instead.”

Instilling Values in Her Children

Rubinstein has made sure that her twin boys, now age 14, have always embraced philanthropy. At every birthday, for example, they choose a charity and have their guests bring a donation to support it. Over the years they have raised money for a “Cookies for Kids” cancer program and their local fire station, which had lost its Jaws of Life in the 9/11 tragedy. “My kids had just learned what Jaws of Life were when they visited the station, and that year they wanted to help replace them.”

She models the behavior herself, having started a non-profit education foundation to raise money for STEAM grants for local kids in kindergarten through 12th grade, and has raised $130,000 thus far.

The family also loves to travel, having just returned from Italy, but relish any time they are together. “My kids went to summer camp, and we couldn’t wait to have them home so we could have adventures together,” she says. “The four of us are thick as thieves.”

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