How can women leaders increase their odds of being more successful after they’ve received negative feedback or suffered a work setback?

Answers to this question abound: Be more aggressive, capitalize on natural people skills, speak up more, avoid organizations with glass ceilings – the list can go on.

There’s nothing wrong with any of these answers except that they can sometimes have limited value, as we often struggle to succeed due to internal rather than external reasons.

For over twenty years, I have used a leadership assessment tool developed by well-known psychologist Robert Hogan that identifies and helps manage what he refers to as “derailers”. Hogan’s definition of derailers is personality traits that emerge under stress when we lose our ability to regulate behaviors because our brain goes into a self-protection mode. Unaddressed, these actions can sabotage relationships as well as careers.

In my book, Beauty Queen: Inside the Reign of Avon’s Andrea Jung, I wrote extensively on the impact of Andrea’s pleaser “derailer” – avoiding conflict or the tough calls and trying to appease others in order to maintain harmony. Andrea was a brilliant and highly successful leader, but the combination of intense stress and difficult circumstances (the loss of her second-in-command) allowed her derailer to diminish her effectiveness. I have coached many women who possess this derailer and I’ve witnessed how it causes them to stay quiet and fail to speak up. This derailer is related to risk taking, and it affects not only business decisions but also taking personal risks such as voicing a minority opinion in a meeting or making a controversial comment. In these women’s minds, the self-protection mode can kick in and often unconsciously, they believe it is better to “play it safe” and not say anything versus having their opinions disparaged.

Be aware, too, that understanding the context is crucial when it comes to assessing the impact of derailers on women leaders. For example, I coached Joan, a senior vice president with a large organization. Her derailer was mischievous – under stress she circumvented the rules or created her own rules to get results. In Joan’s previous organization, this behavioral mischief resulted in her being labeled a true innovator who broke through outdated processes to turn around a tired brand. In Joan’s current role, she is being labeled as non-collaborative and a lone ranger. Her previous organization’s culture was more aligned with her values and personality while her current organization’s culture is known as more conservative and operating by the book. Recall that all derailers possess a flip side. In Joan’s case, the daring and provocative moves that helped her succeed in one organization are causing her to fail in another company. Context means a lot, especially for women leaders who tend to be given labels that are difficult to shake.

I worked with another woman, Tanya, who was overly cautious and worked in an organization with an overly cautious culture and business strategy – they were never the first to market but followed the market leader with decreasing success. As part of a corporate shake-up, more aggressive managers were brought in. Tanya’s new manager gave her some pretty tough feedback about not only the need to speak up but to push the envelope with her plans and programs. Again, a changing context affected how Tanya’s overly cautious behavior was perceived. What helped Tanya succeed in one context caused her to struggle in another.

Derailers are part of who we are, so you can’t get rid of your derailers. But you can learn to manage them. The management process can be more difficult for women leaders than men, in part because bosses are sometimes more willing to give tough feedback to men because it’s assumed they can “take it”. In some companies, too, male leaders are more likely to receive coaching than female leaders. Therefore, you may need to learn how to manage your derailer yourself.

Here are some tips for doing so:

• Know what the “buzz” is about you–what people say about you behind your back usually leads right back to your derailers. Ask your friends, partner and spouse what you do under stress. They always know and can often be your best coach. If you hear that you have too much pride, never ask for help and have trouble admitting you’ve made a mistake, then arrogance is your likely derailer.
• Discover what pushes your buttons. I worked with one colleague who always got under my skin with her cynicism and bitterness, and I became a different and very untrusting individual when we tangled. Every time we argued, I became confrontational and angry—this was not my usual mode of operation. By identifying how you react when your buttons are pushed, you can receive additional clues about your derailing trait.
• Understand your context. Be aware of how your derailer fits within your organization’s culture. Figure out the norms of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Ask yourself whether this has changed with new leadership and how it’s affected you.
• Take action and get tactical. Tanya, the overly cautious woman I coached, needed to speak up more, so she set a target of stating her opinion at least 5 times in every meeting she attended. After a while, speaking up became a habit.

Finally, be aware that in many organizational settings, women are reluctant to admit to themselves or others that they have a flaw. We’ve been conditioned to believe that we have to be better, stronger, and smarter than our male counterparts if we want to succeed. Thus, we can be reluctant to consider that we might have a derailing tendency.

But all of us have them, be we men or women, young or old, CEOs or neophytes. By being aware of your most impactful derailer and making an effort to counteract its effect especially when you’re under stress and it’s causing you problems, you can counteract its negative effect. Managing your derailer doesn’t guarantee women leaders success, but it certainly levels the playing field in more ways than one.

Guest Contribution by Deborrah Himsel

Deborrah Himsel is the author of Beauty Queen: Inside the Reign of Avon’s Andrea Jung. She is also an educator and executive coach – www.himselandassociates.com

Guest advice and opinions not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com