Tag Archive for: tips

Why One Type of Advice Doesn’t Fit All

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational PsychologistNicki-Gilmour-bio

When I am writing this column I go through a range of emotions due to the fact that any article giving advice is just an opinion. It is easy to be opinionated, to live in the dogma of the binary of this way or that way, but it’s often not that useful for the person on the receiving end.

The best that I can do is base the advice on a combination of expertise, research and intuition. However, I do not know you personally, I do not know what your specific situation is that you need advice around. I also do not know the environment you are operating in, nor the developmental frames or mental models that you have accumulated through your own interpretation of your experiences during your life until this day. I do not know your reactions to bad bosses, stress,  wins, systemic gender issues . My point is, this is the internal diversity that matters to you in your career advancement, the cognitive and emotional differences and capacities that every human has, not the just the social identity version of diversity that is touted in companies which way too often feels like Noah collecting animals for his Ark.

We are all a product of our ability to self-reflect on our conscious thoughts and actions. The unconscious beliefs we all hold are harder to access as they are unknown to us but often hold in place competing agendas that stop us from achieving our goals via behaviors that are not aligned with goal attainment. I have mentioned Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey’s book Immunity to Change a couple of times in this column. They don’t know who I am, this is one of the few books I wax lyrical about, but I can honestly tell you their work is a must read for anyone who is wondering how to really get to why some of those goals and resolutions around career, fitness, family are still outstanding. I just wrote a paper integrating their work with the Columbia Coaching Program Process, as it is my firm belief that unless you access the murky unconscious of how you construct your big assumptions, and say them out loud to yourself to check for validity, your self-efficacy around goal setting for you as an executive can’t be totally effective- even if you are the most motivated person on the planet.

So, this week instead of telling you to do this strategy or that strategy, I am going to ask you to think, pre-holidays, about what you want to achieve in the next 12 months and then to look long and hard at what you are currently doing to reach those goals. Not the should or ought to do but what you are doing or not doing. Then ask yourself whats really going on? What is your competing agenda hidden in all of this?

We have 20 places left for individuals for our next round of individual coaching starting in November.

We also have a group coaching starting in December- join a cohort of peers.

Get in touch! Nicki@theglasshammer.com or book an exploratory call here to learn more about what we are doing and how much it costs.

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How to be confident (even if you are not)

By Lisa Iarkowskihappy working women
Constant change and complex challenges at work can test the self-confidence of even the most accomplished of us. So how can we keep our confidence going strong, amidst the changes and challenges we’re facing? Studies in what social psychologists call “self-efficacy” may hold the key. Simply put, self-efficacy is our belief in our ability to accomplish a specific future task. When our belief in our ability is strong, we more readily take action, persevere through obstacles and adversity, and produce successful outcomes. And the stronger our self-efficacy, the more overall confidence we create for ourselves. The work of self-efficacy pioneer Albert Bandura and mindset expert Carol Dweck provides effective practices to help us strengthen our self-efficacy and build confidence for taking on future challenges.
 
Act – Learn – Succeed – Repeat
 
Bandura, identified “mastery experiences”— a cycle of taking action and succeeding–as the most effective way to increase self-efficacy, and thereby confidence. As authors Kay and Shipman discovered in their research for The Confidence Code confidence is both a product of and catalyst for action. When faced with a daunting challenge for which you are not feeling confident, ask yourself what other actions you can successfully take to practice using your relevant capabilities. Set SMART goals for those actions. For the cycle to work, choose stretch or “risk” actions in situations where you are assured of a successful outcome. The more you perform the cycle with successful results (even with different tasks and scenarios), the more self-efficacy and confidence you will develop to take action in new or challenging areas in the future.
 
As you work with the cycle, it’s crucial to practice learning from your experience. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset shows that effort, learning, and persistence are far more powerful pathways to success than a focus on innate talent or ability. Refocusing your mindset to what you can learn in any given situation will help you more readily take action and turn setbacks and failures into lessons learned for improvement, rather than personal defeats. Learning includes both your own self-reflection and getting feedback from others on how your efforts lead to success as well as how you work with obstacles and setbacks. The “STAR” question framework can help you and others reflect on your actions and lessons learned. Break down your experience with these four questions: What was the Situation (what, who)? What Task (intention, goal) were you trying to accomplish? What Actions did you take (what worked, what could work better)? What were your Results (how do the outcomes compare with your initial intent)? Learn from your experiences, and as you take on new challenges, begin with a growth mindset question: What can I learn from this experience?
 
Learn from Others
 
It’s easy to feel isolated when you are not feeling self-confident. But you don’t have to go it alone—nor should you. Bandura identified both learning from role models and verbal support from influential people in your life, such as mentors, as effective ways to increase self-efficacy.
 
Identifying role models who are similar to you and have succeeded in areas you want to succeed in is a powerful way of strengthening your belief in your abilities: “If other people like me can do it, so can I.” Start by identifying 2-3 role models. Then, look at the efforts they took to succeed. Finally, identify those efforts you can emulate.
 
A mentor–someone who believes in your capabilities and tells you so—can also be a valuable support to increasing self-efficacy and confidence. Maybe less obvious is the confidence you can gain from becoming a mentor yourself. In a recent discussion with theglasshammer.com, Erin Geiger, VP of Business Development  at Hackbright Academy in San Francisco, talked about the crucial role of mentoring—for both mentor and mentee–for building confidence in women engineers entering a competitive, male-dominated field. The San Francisco-based engineering boot camp for women includes a robust mentoring program and network that supports new engineers in and beyond the classroom. Geiger’s advice: “Become a role model and mentor. Let’s take an introvert. They may not think of themselves as a role model, but that confidence pushes out to others and it’s mutual. If somebody has a mentee, it can feed the confidence and morale of the most introverted introvert.”
 
Manage Your State
 
Bandura’s work shows that negative emotional and physical states, like stress or exhaustion, negatively influence our belief in our capabilities, weakening our self-efficacy and confidence. For example, if you feel exhausted during a presentation, you may find yourself believing that you are not a good presenter and then may shy away from a bigger role where presentations are featured. Chronic stress and exhaustion may be harder to pinpoint, but nonetheless they play a significant role in your self-efficacy and confidence. When you are not feeling confident about a task or situation, take into consideration your stress and tiredness as factors, obvious or not, and take steps to reduce them. Then revisit your situation and observe any change in your level of confidence. Likely you will find that you have a more productive, confident perspective that can support moving forward.
 
Using any one of these approaches, or better yet a combination of all of them, gives you a powerful practice for taking charge of your self-efficacy and confidence in even the most challenging situations.
 
Lisa Iarkowski is a Columbia University certified executive coach who helps women transition, reinvent, and reenergize their careers. Lisa has extensive experience leading and coaching individuals and teams in the publishing and technology industries. Lisa is a regular contributor to theglasshammer.com.
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What Executive Presence Really Means and How to Pull it Off

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Guest Contributed by Denise Green

When I interview my coaching clients’ bosses and ask what skill they believe would make the most difference if improved, I nearly always hear, “She needs to develop more executive presence.” When I ask what that looks like to them, I get a variety of responses, many of them vague.

We all know when someone with a persuasive presence enters a room. Yet, it can be hard to describe. My favorite characterization of executive presence comes courtesy of John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut. In their book, Compelling People, they describe presence as the ability to project authentic strength and warmth, and to adjust each up or down, according to the situation. People who do this well are more likely to gain our trust and loyalty. The authors argue that here is no inherent contradiction in simultaneously projecting warmth and strength.

Individuals such as Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Michelle Obama and Pope Francis project an air of knowing what they are doing and having other peoples’ best interests at heart. Here are steps you can take starting today to turn up your presence and persuasion.

  1. Create an intentional identity. How do you want people to perceive you in this next interaction? What do you want people to say about you after you leave the room? (Or, when you leave this earth). Have this intention in mind before you enter a room.
  2. Be responsive instead of reactive. Our modern lives are in conflict with our ancient brains. As such, we don’t have the capacity to deal with our back-to-back, always-on schedules and devices. According to author and Neuroleadership founder David Rock, our prefrontal cortex (the newest part of the brain, responsible for our planning, personality expression and decision making), works efficiently for only 90 minutes per day on average. When we’re stressed, hungry or tired, our prefrontal cortex loses precious capacity. If you’ve ever blurted something you regretted, or sent an email that you wished you could pull back, you know how much effort it can take to respond mindfully instead of reacting impulsively.

My unscientific opinion about reactivity is that women have a higher bar than men. When a woman blurts out a criticism, she’s potentially labeled harsh, overbearing aggressive or worse. When a man does it, he’s more likely to be labeled assertive. And if a woman reacts without the proper dosage of emotion, she is easily labeled cold, or at the other extreme, hysterical. We only have to look at Hilary Clinton’s presidential campaign to see how challenging it is for women to strike the right balance.

The specific part of the brain involved in managing impulse control is called the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex (RVLPFC). Like any part of the brain, it grows stronger with practice.

  1. Power your brain. Most of the people you work with are likely sleep-deprived, hungry and dehydrated. Taking care of your body and brain will not only help you feel better and live longer, it will help you maximize your brain’s capacity.
  • Pack your desk and refrigerator with healthy, low-glycemic snacks. Move throughout the day, whether that means taking the stairs or conducting standing and walking meetings.
  • Consume caffeine 30 minutes before you need to be your most brilliant self.
  • Fill a large bottle with lemon water (lemon is alkaline and facilitates water absorption). Drink throughout the day.
  • Bring dark chocolate to meetings to share with others (the sugar content is low, and the small amount of caffeine and antioxidents make it an ideal treat for tired brains).
  • Make sure to get at least seven hours of sleep.
  1. Project authentic confidence. Give yourself a confidence boost by putting your best self forward — from your clothing choices to your posture to how you state your ideas.
  • Dress: Wear clothing that presents you as confident and polished. If you’re fashion challenged, hire a personal shopper. Nordstrom provides this low-pressure service at no cost.
  • Posture: If you haven’t seen the TED video by Amy Cuddy, it’s worth the 18 minutes. She describes how taking a power posture actually changes your blood chemistry to make you more confident.
  • Voice: Record yourself in a meeting and listen for tone and filler language. End your statements on a down note, not up. Remove unnecessary ‘uhs’ and ‘ums.’ If you want to project strength, leave out the fillers and just begin with “I believe we should…”
  1. Show appropriate vulnerability. Vulnerability is a critical ingredient in presence. We don’t trust people who show too much or too little of it. Authentically confident people readily own their strengths and weaknesses, willingly apologize for mistakes and share personal information that puts others at ease. Let them know that your furrowed brow is due to painful sciatica, not their Powerpoint report.

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Denise R. Green is a speaker, writer, and executive coach committed to helping people go from burned-out (or blah) to brilliant. After a successful career with Oracle Corporation and Charles Schwab, Denise founded Brilliance Inc., a coaching corporation whose purpose is to unleash human potential. For more than a decade, she and her team have helped thousands of people feel less stressed, and have more ease and fulfillment in all areas of their lives. Her new book, Work-Life Brilliance: Tools to Break Stress and Create the Life & Health You Crave (Brilliance Publishing, April 2017) is about reigniting one’s internal spark. Learn more and access the free e-guide, “Break Stress Now,” at BrillianceInc.com.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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9 Tips for Women Working in a Male-Dominated Business World

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Guest contributed by Marja Norris

Every day we hear some statistic telling us what we already know: Women make up 59 percent of all post grad schools, and not enough is happening on the forefront to move more women into C-Suites. Several news agencies reported on the White House gender pay gap, which has said to have increased under Trump.

Women continue to earn less than men and have less power in the workplace, even though study after study show companies that have women in leadership roles outperform companies that don’t. What’s impeding our progress? Underlying male-oriented rules and expectations in the workplace limit women’s potential for advancement and often doom them to undistinguished careers.

Because the business world was built by men, for men, they begin their careers from a position of comparative advantage and understand these unspoken codes intuitively — they’ve been socialized for it. Too many important rules concerning women’s careers remain unarticulated.

It also doesn’t help that in the working world many businessmen don’t want to take the time to understand their women colleagues or help build a more diverse workforce. Many men resent working side-by-side with a female colleague because of our different approaches. They need to realize that, while 3 + 3 = 6, so does 4 + 2! In a scale of 0-10, together, we can achieve a 12!

Until businesses support both genders equally in the workplace, we have no choice but to move into the male mind space if we hope to work our way into executive roles. We must make it easier to gain their acceptance of us as equals in the workforce so we can get ahead.

Use these 9 tips to maximize your efforts when working in a male dominated world:

  1. Don’t take opposition personally.Avoid drama. It makes people anxious. Best to leave the emotions and your personal life at the office doorstep. It’s a waste of your energy because all it elicits is a glassy-eyed stare. Craft your points to persuade them through reason, not emotion.
  2. Be honest.Don’t bluff your way through something you’re unclear about. It’s easy to sniff out a pretender, and it will only feed impressions of female inferiority. Ask for clarity if you’re unsure. This applies to anything in business — from personal conversations to team strategy sessions. If the men in your firm are talking about fantasy football with you, don’t act as if you know about it (unless you do).
  3. Come prepared.The higher you climb in the corporate world, the more likely you are to encounter stronger personalities. Never shy away from alpha personalities in negotiations. Prepare for tough questions by arming yourself with clear, factual answers to support your arguments or recommendations.
  4. Be mindful of egos.Pointing out to people where they’re wrong, especially in front of others, is a losing proposition. If you need to correct an error, think it through and present it in such a way that it isn’t pointing the finger. Many personalities come with an ego larger than life.
  5. Keep conversations short.Don’t draw out what can be said with less explanation. Think of breaking down communications into a short news article: Give the headline, the facts from the first paragraph and the summary from the last paragraph. Save the details for further conversation or questions.
  6. Display confidence, even if you don’t feel it.Lacking confidence in any aspect of business can quickly lead to disregard, and also disrespect. Give a firm handshake, assume a confident body posture, project in a strong voice and state any request with authority rather than as a question.
  7. Be accountable.Avoid excuses. If you take on a project, stay with it to the end and take responsibility for keeping others accountable in their roles to make it happen. When an error or incorrect judgment occurs, own it and be there with a solution. You’ll gain respect.
  8. Know your values and what you’re willing to sacrifice.Know what you most value and what you’re willing to give up to focus on your career. One reason businesswomen haven’t moved the needle in the high level executive area is that it requires very long hours, often entails travel and includes constant pressure. Women traditionally have more personal demands to attend to outside of their careers. And, as overwhelmed as you may feel, talking about these demands at work won’t be well received. As the saying goes, “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.” Otherwise, you may be viewed as weak.
  9. Get used to taking risks.Men are often more programmed for risk-taking than women. Make a point of doing one uncomfortable thing a day, like speaking with someone who intimidates you, reaching out to someone you feel is beyond your reach or learning a new skill. A little discomfort is freeing. A little risk is exciting. It encourages you to constantly move toward bigger and better things.

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Marja Norris is the CEO and founder of MarjaNorris.com, a company dedicated to helping women achieve their career goals with style and confidence. With a distinguished career in finance, she has successfully navigated the male-dominated business world and is passionate about coaching women on how to be taken seriously, be heard, and get what they want at work. Her latest book, The Unspoken Code: A Businesswoman’s No-Nonsense Guide to Making It in the Corporate World, provides women with the tools to awaken their dreams and reach their highest goals. Visit marjanorris.com.

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Self-Regulation is the Key to a Successful Career

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 By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational PyschologistNicki Gilmour
Some people are blessed with an even temper and tactful diplomacy at work. The rest of us are not and we are in fact very human with buttons that can be pressed and triggers that can be triggered. It is entirely worth your while figuring out what your hot buttons are so that you know why they exist and then what to do to make sure you are in control of your reaction.

You don’t have to be a robot but you do need to know how to apply emotional intelligence (EQ). If you are short of EQ, then work with a coach to develop it and if you still don’t have it then you have to learn how to fake it until you make it.

Reactions matter. It’s a virtuous circle to stay calm and carry on.
People want to work with people who are going to show real but positive emotion regarding regular and especially stressful situations.

Equally, be aware of passive aggressiveness which is a productivity killer and is mistaken as self-regulation. It typically takes the form of team members leisurely ignoring each other and pursuing their own agenda. If you are saying yes to a task but really are saying no, then you should step back and think about other ways to communicate that you would like to do the task differently.

Treat others how you would like to be treated.

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8 Cover Letter Writing Mistakes You Should Avoid

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Guest contributed by Gloria Kopp

letter writing

Image via Shutterstock

Even seasoned professional women who have years of experience working on Wall Street can make mistakes when writing cover letters and trying to get promotions or change jobs. These mistakes can really derail a promising career, and stall your professional development by several years. Fortunately, this resource for professional women can help you avoid making mistakes that can hold you back and instead you can really thrive as you soar up the career ladder.

1.  Sending the Same Generic Letter to Every Application

While it may be a hassle, the truth is that you need to personalize every letter to the specific job you are applying for, you can’t send anything generic out, or all you will receive is a very generic rejection.

2.  Making It All about You

Your cover letter should highlight all of the reasons that the job and the company can benefit from you, not all of the reasons you want to job. You need to state the benefits that the company will receive from hiring you, not vice versa.

3.  Update Your Details

Make sure you have a mature and professional email address, so you may need to update the Hotmail you’ve had since you were a teenager. You need to make sure that every piece of information you provide is accurate, and that your LinkedIn, phone number, and address, are all up to date, and easy to reach you on.

4.  Not Using Basic File Types

If you make it difficult to open or view your application, for example by using unusual file types when you send your documents, the HR manager is very unlikely to go to the trouble of figuring out how they open them. More likely, you will simply end up being sent to the trash pile, as there are plenty of people with easy to access resume and cover letters.

5.  Not Focusing on Your Introduction

Your introduction needs to really grab the attention of the reader, and you absolutely must make sure it is catchy, and shows you as smart, capable, and apart from the crowd. Many people brush over the introduction to try and get into the content which they consider more important. By doing this, you may lose the interest of the HR manager before you’ve even been able to sell yourself.

6.  Failing to Back Up Your Claims

When you write about certain skills or qualifications that you have gained in your career, you need to explicitly exhibit where you gained them and how you used them.

7.  Just Repeating Your Resume

Your cover letter should significantly expand on the information in your resume, not just repeat it in a different format.

8.  Failing to Edit and Proofread Properly

Many competent women simply assume that they haven’t made mistakes when they’re writing, simply because they don’t tend to make mistakes. The truth is that these small errors can happen to anyone, anywhere, and failing to check over your work out of pride, arrogance, or even ignorance that there could be anything wrong. The following online tools can make your life a lot easier and ensure that every part of your application is flawless:

  • Ginger Software – this is a comprehensive grammar checker that can be used on multiple devices to double check your work while you’re on the go, or at your desk. There’s also a dictionary, and you’re offered notes on your structure, language and can even translate your work.
  • Paper Fellows – there’s plenty of writing advice in the forums on this website, and you can also hire experts to review or help with your work.
  • Big Assignments – sometimes you can’t see the errors in your own work, so it can really pay off to have an expert editor or proof reader check your work for mistakes and offer advice.
  • Readable – when you’re applying for a job, you need to make sure that you’re writing at an appropriate level, and that you’re language isn’t too sophisticated or too simple for the job you’re applying for.
  • Ukwritings – you can’t always trust friends or family to be critical or honest when it comes to reviewing your work, however a professional editor or proof reader that you hire here will be completely honest and provide invaluable feedback.
  • Resumention – when you’re writing a cover letter, you absolutely should follow the tips and tricks that are available on this website as it is entirely tailored towards helping you succeed in your career.
  • Academized – if the job you’re applying for requires a certain level of professionalism or academia, then it is well worth checking out the amazing guides and courses here before you start writing.

By avoiding the mistakes above, you can make sure you are doing everything you can to fast-track your career.

 

Gloria Kopp is a digital marketer and an elearning consultant from Manville city. Now she works as a content manager at Boomessays company. Besides, she is a regular contributor to such websites as Engadget, Huffingtonpost, Essayroo, etc. Read her Studydemic posts.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Expert Tips on Giving a Presentation

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Guest contributed by Sarah Brown

presentation

Image via Shutterstock

Whether you are a student, a lecturer, a motivational speaker, a budding entrepreneur or a C-suit, when presenting on stage in front of an audience, engaging them and communicating your message can be a daunting task for more reasons than you can imagine. I would be trying to incorporate some of the most important ways to help you in writing a great presentation, become a better presenter and also how to best utilize props.

Although the first few words that come out of your mouth would be about introducing yourself, but you can make it more interesting by sharing your passion about your topic. It is not always about what you say, as a confident presenter with a good sense of humor can be more engaging than someone with equally good content but for instance has fear of public speaking.The first few sentences of your presentation should be able to grab undivided attention from your audience, arouse their curiosity about your topic so that they are completely sold on listening to what is coming next.

An hour’s presentation cannot be written in an hour or even in a day. The time you spend on research and finding the figures, and statistics to support your message is directly proportional to the success of the presentation. Have a rough draft of your presentation speech and the slides ready as early as possible so that you have time to revise it a couple of times. This allows you more time to add, delete, or restructure the content and will also help you convey your message more efficiently. If you write the presentation in the last minute, you might miss on adding important details and also might stray away from the real subject at hand. If you are ready with the final version a few days ahead of time, you can test it out on family and friends for practice. You can also record your presentation and watch it to weed out the obvious errors and flaws. You must carry a small cue card of 3 to 5 things that you feel must be mentioned and should not be left out at any cost and read it just seconds before going on the stage.

Using slides, video or any other media is quite imperative to a presentation. Slides or other media are supposed to carry minimal information and should be used to create relevance or generate specific emotions in the audience. One of the worst things you can do while presenting is reading out text from your slides, word to word. Not only do you look unprofessional and unprepared, you also waste the most resourceful element of presentation, and it drastically makes the presentation boring.

There are a few things that a presenter must keep in mind to avoid distracting the audience from the presentation. First off, one must dress up in a modest manner. Wearing bold colors might take the audience’s attention off the slides. Everyone should be proud of their fashion sense and body but do not forget that the center of attention needs to be the presentation and not the presenter. This might not be an unpopular opinion and might attract some controversy but let me assure you that this comes from some of the most respected male and female public speakers and is not just my personal opinion. Also, you must wear something that you can be comfortable in while looking dressed up. Wearing something you picked up a day before the presentation might not be the best choice as you never know how you can distract the audience while adjusting it. Ladies, if you are not comfortable in wearing high heels, ditch them now.

Watch the tone, speed and volume of your speech. You should not be going too slowly or too fast and also you should not be speaking too loud or too low. Find the right balance. Frequent usage of ‘um’ or ‘like’ should be avoided and replaced with quick pauses instead. Check out this amazing infographic from WalkerStone on Dos and Don’ts of presenting.

It is highly recommended that you test your presentation slides on the hardware available and also have a backup flash drive. At times things do not go as planned, be confident and do not get anxious on stage. If possible, have a contingency plan if your slides don’t work.

Best of luck.

Presenting

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If You Think You Can, You Can!

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 By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational PsychologistNicki Gilmour

Recently as part of a paper I was writing, I was examining the elements that increase self-efficacy and improve goal setting for executives.

What makes some people believe that they can do it when others have such doubt?  Competence assumed, what are the necessary things to be in place for a professional to achieve their goal? It seems that self-reflection, forethought, intentionality and self-reactiveness are the researched pre-requisites to have to succeed. This makes sense as you need to think about what you want and plan to go for it, with the ability to reflect and act during the course of the task or job (also closely tied to adult learning theories).

So, what stops us from believing that all we have to do is set a goal and put a plan in place to achieve it? In my experience, it seems that it is our inner gremlins that stop us, the nagging self-talk that plays as part of our constant inner theater. We have thoughts and whether they are then implicit (unconscious) or explicit beliefs, they lurk in our minds with emotions and fears attached to them, telling us that we will fail, or look stupid or disappoint someone.

I realized a while ago that I am in the business of killing gremlins because you do not have to be held hostage by the paradigms that have formed or those that have been given to you by your upbringing (family or societal messaging). You literally do not have to believe all that you think to be true. Take the assumptions and put them on the table to understand what is really going on, so you can address what is getting in your way, unpack it emotionally and move on in your life and at work.

Easier said than done? Think about a goal for a second. Mine is running a 5k race and getting fit as I am aware that I want to stay alive for my family and enter middle age in good shape. The problem is I do not really run very often. This behavior is not matching up with the goal and in any normal advice column I would tell the person, in this case myself, to make a plan and stick to it. Sounds simple, right? Wrong, it is not that simple.

Why do rational people who really want to achieve a goal and have a history of knocking the ball out of the park on everything they do, get stuck on small but important goals? Well, like everyone else, I tell myself things to justify what I do or don’t do. Specifically in this case that I do not have time to run more than I do and that working is what I need to do.  That is my hidden competing agenda. The gremlin is lurking because it is really my fear of failure that is telling me I do not have time, not anything else. See how this works? To reframe and get on with it, you have to kill the gremlin.

If you would like to have me as your coach (or one of my associates) to kill those gremlins together, then book a free exploratory chat  or email me at nicki@theglasshammer.com as we are taking on Fall/ Winter clients -places are limited.

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What Happens When it Is Not Your Skill Level Holding You Back in Your Career?

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By Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational PyschologistNicki Gilmour

Let’s be honest. What happens when you are a highly qualified professional but people just find you hard to work with or work for? This can be a real career staller and can create headaches of having to replace staff who leave you as a manager.

Your behaviors define you. How you show up is what people notice much more than your impressive list of qualifications or even your true competence level. There are many forms of behavior that can derail you, as no matter how nice you are it doesn’t matter if you are confusing people with any of the following traits- control freak, a perfectionist or an unclear communicator.

I pick these three as development points since they assume that you mean well and your intent is good, however your impact on the other person leaves them wondering just how to meet your standards and expectations. They may have tried several ways and are at a loss for words.

How do you find out if you are doing this to your team or direct reports? Well, a feedback tool such as a 360 rater survey is always a good way to see how people perceive you against how you see yourself. As a coach, we use these tools, as do many companies to help you get to stuff that a direct question might not work for. But, if you do have good relationships with peers, it cannot hurt to buy them a coffee and ask what they think your strengths and weaknesses are. If this feels too confrontational or you are not ready to hear it in this format, there are alternative ways to ask for feedback. Here are three ideas

1. Do an “after action review” on a project, unpacking what went well and what could have been done differently. This way the topic is the project but with a little deep questioning around how ideally you could have taken up your formal role, you can harvest gems.

2. Ask your colleague what he or she likes about your work style and what they feel they would like to see more of? Be brave and follow up with a last question along the lines of “what would you like to see less of?”

3. Think about how you show up and list any patterns in jobs or projects of how you think you acted or interacted and then talk it over with a coach to see what felt right and what felt a little odd to you. You will know as you build you EQ and SQ muscles around the accuracy of how people perceive you. However, on this note, we all have our baggage which creates lenses and views which can then distort how we do analyze our interactions. This stuff is crucial to unpack with someone who understands developmental coaching psychology as all executive coaches are not created equal on this front and 100% of the time.

When in doubt, put yourself in other people’s shoes and think about how it would feel to be on the receiving end of certain behaviors. We all have different pet peeves and likes and dislikes but this is still a good place to start!

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Breaking the Planning Fallacy: The How and Why of Being on Time

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Guest contributed by Katie McBeth

time

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There are two types of people in this world:

“Punctuality is the politeness of kings.” – King Louis XVIII of France

“Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.” – Author Evelyn Waugh

Yet, no matter where your personal opinion may lie on the spectrum, the business world has fully embraced the former of the two; be on time, no exceptions. Our world is dependent on schedules and time. Punctuality is a must, even if it’s personally impossible to achieve.

And there are genuinely good reasons why our culture has fully embraced punctuality. For one, showing up late is often seen as a sign of lack of dependability. It also wastes the time of those we are planning to meet up with. By being punctual we are also being respectful. Of course, much of this is cultural, and there are many legitimate reasons why people may often be late.

However, in a more business sense, being on time can be a real chore. Still, there are ways to trick yourself into staying on schedule. Timeliness is a necessity in relationships or business, and to really succeed it’s vital to get to grips with the importance of being on time.

If you struggle with punctuality, here’s how to fix it.

The Planning Fallacy  

Punctuality has been closely tied to human behavior, and psychologists have been studying time habits in humans for quite some time. In the late 1970’s, one psychologist was able to experience it first hand, and even gave it a name: the planning fallacy.

If you are someone that is perpetually late – no matter how hard you try to not be tardy – it could be that you are suffering from this common mental state of mind. As psychologists with the University of Southern California describe, our personal concept of time is biased, and can often skew our understanding of how long a task will take to complete. In reality, it can be easy to overcome, once we master the bias.

Researchers with USC state: “Individuals consistently assume their own tasks will get done sooner and be easier than they actually do or are. This is an optimism bias. On the other hand, a third-party observer assessing how long a task will take for another person will consistently provide a “low-ball” figure representing a pessimism bias – believing the task will take longer.”

Besides appearing disrespectful, the planning fallacy can also hurt financially. For large companies, it can cost hundreds of additional hours in labor as well as potentially far overshoot any budgets.

One giant example of this is the Sydney Opera House in Sydney, Australia. It took an extra ten years to complete the project, and had an estimated cost of about eight million dollars. The final cost? Over 102 million dollars.

Overcoming the Planning Fallacy  

Time management was created as the core solution to combating the planning fallacy. Whether traveling from point A to point B, or simply getting up in the morning, time management plays a role in all of it. Delegate your time wisely, and you’ll be able to work your way out of the fallacy.

For example, if you’re perpetually procrastinating on projects or homework, create an agenda and set exact start times for your projects. Find a way to minimize outside distractions, and simply buckle down. The sooner you start, the sooner you finish.

However, it’s also important to consider the amount of work needed to complete the task. If you’re researching a topic, then you might need a few more hours of time than if you’re, say, writing an article on the benefits of dog walking.

This is where time delegation can really help. View the task pessimistically, and set up exact times dedicated to researching, compiling notes, and writing your project. Don’t wait for your superior to tell you what to do and when to do it. Instead, show your ability as a self-starter and work to build up your personal confidence and time management skills.

Another important part to breaking the fallacy is to avoid multitasking. Although many feel like they function better when multitasking, the truth is it can end up wasting more time simply by switching mindsets between projects. Zeroing in on the project at hand can help you complete a task on time.

If you’re a perpetually late person – as in physically always late to work or meet ups with friends – then you need to take a different approach. Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into tasks when you know you need to be somewhere else, and instead try to get into a routine. Especially for non-morning people: set yourself up for success by creating and cultivating a strong morning routine. You will rarely be late to work if you’re already alert and awake within an hour or so of you needing to leave.

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Breaking the planning fallacy can be difficult. It will take time to teach yourself how to manage time. However, once you’ve mastered it, you’ll have a whole new confidence in your ability to get work done, and you’ll be able to easily impress those that are relying on you.

Punctuality may be mandatory in our society, but it certainly has its benefits. Don’t let time and tardiness get the better of you.

Katie McBeth is a researcher and writer out of Boise, ID, with experience in marketing for small businesses and management. Her favorite subject of study is millennials, and she has been featured on Fortune Magazine, Glassdoor, and the Quiet Revolution. You can follow her writing adventures on Instagram or Twitter: @ktmcbeth.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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