Tag Archive for: sexist

after-work-drinks

Guest Contributed by Beth Leslie

Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the UK’s Labour Party, recently sparked outrage by labelling after-work socialising as sexist because it “benefits men who don’t feel the need to be at home looking after their children and it discriminates against women who will want to, obviously, look after the children”.

In one fell swoop, he offended everyone. Single women railed at the anachronistic association of all women with housewifery. Mothers were furious by the stereotyped assumption that they are automatically the primary caregivers. Men were offended by the outdated notion that they don’t want to spend time with their children. The British as a nation became hysterical that this left-winged bearded fellow might be trying to take their Thursday night drink away from them.

But then someone pointed out that Carolyn Fairbairn, the first female head of the Confederation of British Industry, had made similar criticisms about after-work culture. Female journalists at the New Yorker and The Independent voiced their agreement too. So is Corbyn actually correct? Are after-work events discriminatory against women?

The Activity vs. The Hour

The debate is particularly problematic because “after-work socialising” means different things to different people. It could be a formal networking event. It could be a casual cocktail with colleagues. Or, as the corporate packages offered by 41% of lap-dancing clubs attest; it could be a client meeting in a strip club.

So while Corbyn’s comments focused on the discriminatory timing of after-work events, many feminist campaigners are more concerned with the nature of these activities. Donald Trump’s recently leaked boasts about sexually harassing women indicates how heartbreakingly common workplace harassment is. 52% of women in the UK say they’ve experienced it, and such harassment is often exacerbated by after-work socialising because it usually involves alcohol and a blurring of the lines between professional and personal life. This problem can exist even within formal networking events, where women complain that many men respond to their networking with flirtation, and where even companies as prominent as Microsoft are curating an environment of objectification by hiring ‘booth babes’.

At the same time, opting out of after-work sessions comes at a cost. Clients are discovered and deals are made at networking events. Bosses give praise and promotions to subordinates they’ve become pally with after a few pints. And co-workers who socialise together build bonds and friendships that drop-outs can feel excluded from.

So yes, there are many aspects of after-work socialising that can be seen as inherently sexist. But the answer cannot be banning all after-work events. Not only would it be impossible to enforce, it is worryingly illiberal. Women-only networking events, meanwhile, seem to partition off the problem more than they solve it.

Businesses Need to Lead a Culture Change

Eliminating sexism from business requires the elevation of the idea that it is not only immoral, but unprofitable. The spate of lawsuits by female professionals who consider a corporate insistence on conducting business in strip clubs detrimental to their career prospects should be encouraged. Companies which engage in sexist practices should be named and shamed on regular and social media. Managers should take complaints of sexual harassment seriously and punish offenders severely. Individuals should be encouraged to speak up when they witness or experience misogyny in the workplace.

It may seem quixotic at first glance, but each hardened opinion contributes to the snowball of social change. After all, most businesses can’t afford to turn off female talent, and even fewer can afford to lose female customers.

The After-Hours Element

Corbyn and his backers, however, appeared to suggest that even the most progressive event is discriminatory if it takes place outside of work hours because of childcare commitments. The problem with this is that it muddles two distinct concepts. Holding an event after hours is not anti-women but anti-parent. However, because of gender stereotypes, working mothers do end up carrying more of the burden than working fathers.

It is the second concept which society and businesses have a duty to eliminate. For companies, this should take the form of implementing and encouraging parental equality policies, such as shared parental leave. Similarly, more work should be done on a social level to equalise the attitudes towards working fathers and working mothers.

Yet turning the plight of an ambitious parent who also wants to spend the evening with their kids into a feminist issue is a mistake, because it further entrenches gender stereotypes about women as homemakers. Ultimately, having children is a choice in the way your gender is not, and exclusion from after-work events because you choose to spend time with your children, however frustrating, is morally distinct from being excluded from after-work events because of sexist perceptions or actions against you.

Advocating for a workplace that is more parent-friendly is a worthy fight and it should not be a sexist one.

Beth Leslie writes graduate careers advice for Inspiring Interns, a recruitment agency which specialises in matching candidates to their dream internship. Check out their graduate jobs London listings for roles, or if you’re looking to hire an intern, have a look at their innovative Video CVs.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer

Two-thirds-of-women-in-fund-management-have-experience-sexism-finds-FTfm-surveyBy Nicki Gilmour, Executive Coach and Organizational Psychologist

My consistent discovery in my ten years of this work is that women are often serious perpetrators when it comes to sexism against women, albeit quite unconsciously by buying into stereotypes and deferring all authority to any male on most subjects.

Bell Hooks says it best in her excerpt of a book called The Will to Change about why the system of patriarchy is an ugly one that if reinforced by whoever, we will never make progress.

She makes the point which escapes most people which is until we stop denying that we live in an underlying system that stacks the cards against gentle boys in favor of endorsing a tougher, rougher version which as its worst is ‘toxic masculinity’ then we can do whatever we want, but it will be a lose/lose for all concerned.

So what are 3 things you can do today to walk the talk of “Being the change that you want to see in the world?”
  • Break stereotypes when and where you see them being flung around. Men aren’t all left brain, women aren’t all right brain and that Mars and Venus nonsense is insulting.
  • Be yourself and speak from the heart and on brave days speak truth to power as safely as you can.
  • Play the game but only to play enough to change the game so that tomorrow and the next day, the game is less ridiculous for others.
What are 3 things that you have to stop doing?
  • Don’t give a wider behavioral range to your sons with a boys will be boys attitude yet narrowly confine your daughters to defined and different behavioral criteria.
  • Don’t put up with casual sexism at work or home- Casual sexism or micro aggressions are often invisible and so part of the culture that you dont even realize that it is happening. Learn how to spot it and disrupt it on the spot.
  • Don’t regale every boy and man you see with the authority to be the expert, or even to have an opinion on everything. Mansplaining is boring and happens because we all allow men to think if they read a sentence of a topic that you have to listen to them even if you have a Phd in the subject.

Not everyone has the same appetite to be a change agent and that’s ok. But, please know that if you are colluding then you are part of the problem. Something to think about today!