Tag Archive for: Guest post

Let’s Move from a Gender War to a Gender Partnership

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Guest contributed by Lisa Levey

Gender equality is not about winning a war!

The war metaphor distracts us with finger pointing, blaming, and endlessly seeking to justify who’s the perpetrator and who’s the victim. The war metaphor keeps us stuck. The reality is we all – both women and men – fall victim to highly gendered thinking. We are stuck in gender binaries and it has been, and in many ways continues to be, our conditioning.

In an experiment that has been repeated many times and redesigned in multiple ways, both women and men demonstrate a male-bias for leadership positions in the workplace. The experiment might go something like this: participants are asked to rate the resumes of candidates for a leadership position. They are told that each group will be evaluating the strength of one among multiple candidates. What the participants don’t know is that everyone is looking at the same exact resume. The only thing that has been changed is the name and gender [and in other experiments the race or ethnicity] of the candidate. Both women and men evaluate the supposed male candidate more favorably, even indicating he should be paid more.

The Revolution of Declining Expectations

Several years ago at the pinnacle of the financial implosion, I listened to Harvard Law Professor Nancy Gertner’s keynote address at a women’s leadership conference where she passionately described the women’s movement in the 1970’s as a revolution focused on changing the workplace and changing families, not about women having the choice to work outside the home. She went on to say that far too little had changed in either sphere and that change requires viable alternatives, which remained elusive, with companies overwhelmingly still family unfriendly and as a result, continued skewed gender norms at home. Retired Federal Judge Gertner [appointed during the Clinton administration] described the current state as the Revolution of Declining Expectations which needed to be remedied by igniting the consciousness of women and men[LL1] [LL2].

Yes, women can be a top leader -but if she has children, she had better be a good mom first. And men get major kudos for being an involved dad, BUT he better be a breadwinner too or we’re not quite sure what to make of him.
Both men and women suffer from a dissonance between their egalitarian ideology and their behavior. Take for instance the common scenario where a man strongly espouses gender equality, yet somehow that doesn’t translate to his negotiating a parental leave for more than a paltry week or two or realizing that his relationship to work must evolve if he plans on being a co-parent rather than a parent-assistant. No more flying out to a client on a day or two’s notice or heading out for 18 holes of golf, feeling fully justified because he spent an hour on Saturday morning playing with the kids.

I saw this dissonance in stark relief as a member of a research team examining millennial dads. In The New Millennial Dad: Understanding the Paradox of Today’s Fathers, two-thirds of men reported they should share care of their children equally with their spouse but only one-third actually did so. At the same time, over 90% of millennial fathers indicated wanting greater responsibility and men were twice as willing as women to seek advancement, even if it meant more time spent at work.

Similarly, a woman passionate about gender equality, especially about her husband sharing the load at home, fails to realize that her dictating the terms of engagement when it comes to parenting and household management renders him a servant, not a partner. Instead of grabbing the baby in frustration if dad doesn’t know what comforting techniques work best, she – and he – are better served in the long-run by her encouraging his efforts and giving him alone time with the baby when he can develop his comforting repertoire. And, if she blows a gasket when her husband returns from school shopping with their daughter sporting – to mom’s mind – an awful haircut, she must realize her parenting micromanagement not only saps his confidence but chills his desire to be involved.

The Mirror Image of Gender Inequality

The metaphor I’ve coined to illustrate the complexity of gender, and the fight for equality, is that of a mirror image.
Men, because of their gender, enjoy a privileged status in the workplace, which I’ve seen is highly challenging for many men to see or accept. His path upward is facilitated by countless subtle and not-so-subtle norms, ranging from male senior leaders who see in him themselves earlier in their careers, his knowing – having been schooled in the masculinity code – the importance of self-promotion for advancement, and his intense commitment and singular focus on work fueled by having a spouse or partner who is accountable for home and family management.

Similarly women, because of their gender, enjoy a privileged status as a parent and the leader at home. Everyone assumes a mother knows how to nurture a child instinctively, rather than the reality of her building skill through trial and error. School and camp default to mom as the go-to parent, even if dad explicitly asks to be called first, as my husband and I witnessed year after year after year. If a woman decides to step out of the workforce for a time, because the pressure at work feels too great and/or she wants to spend more time with her child, she is comforted by the familiar trope that she is being a good – no better – mother. But it’s hard to imagine a man feeling supported to stop working – or even cutting back at work – so he can be a better father. Ask dads who are the primary caretakers, as I have, about feeling welcomed into the mom clique at school or on the playground. While some have a positive story to tell, it’s far more common to hear about their feeling excluded, literally like the odd-man out

While women continue to struggle for their rightful place at the workplace leadership table, similarly men continue to struggle for their rightful place at home and as a parent/ caretaker for their loved ones.

The Power of Gender Partnerships

For the last 2 ½ years, I have seen the type of consciousness raising that Judge Gertner described as a remedy for the Revolution of Declining Expectations in a very unlikely place, the campuses of elite business schools. It began with my attending the first event hosted by the Harvard Business School Manbassadors, a group of men who sought to support gender equality at business school and in the workplace. Over more than two years, I have been researching male ally groups across the country and it has given me great hope for the future of gender equality.
These young men work closely with their female peers who are involved with women’s leadership groups on campus. They have candid conversations about gender, educate themselves about gender inequalities at work and at home, and work together to affect change.

I have been deeply inspired listening to young men share their desire to be a good partner in fully supporting their girlfriend’s/ wife’s career aspirations and being an inclusive leader that facilitates the professional development and advancement of women and men. They see supporting gender diversity and gender equality as both the smart thing as well as the right thing to do. They have seen the struggles of their sisters, mothers, friends and work colleagues and they have heard the challenges of their female business school peers. They want to make it better, not only for women but for themselves too. They don’t want to be absent dads and they’re tired of the locker room talk and behaviors. It doesn’t square with the women they see all around them, including the women they care about in their lives.

Male ally groups have provided a powerful forum for men to get involved and to transition from ‘the problem’ to ‘part of the solution.’ Working side-by-side with their female peers, these men and women are grappling with gender in all its complexity and seeking to rewrite the gender rules.

Rather than sapping our energy fighting with one another, or becoming resigned to ‘that’s the way it is,’ women and men can be far more effective working together to make gender equality real and not just aspirational in our lives.
That my friends, is key to getting us unstuck!

Contributor Bio:
Lisa Levey is a veteran diversity consultant, having worked with leading organizations for more than two decades to assist them in realizing the underutilized leadership potential of women. Her current work focuses on engaging men as allies and partners. She led the design and development of the Forte Foundation’s Male Ally signature resource platform for engaging men in diversity work and architected a pilot program to launch corporate male ally groups. She blogs for the Huffington Post and the Good Men Project on gender norms at work and at home. In the spring of 2018 partnering with her husband Bryan, Lisa is launching Genderworks, a coaching practice for dual-career professional parents to support them in navigating the obstacles to gender equality at work and at home. Lisa earned an MBA with highest honors from the Simmons School of Management and a BS with distinction from Cornell University in applied economics.  
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Opening Spaces to Value Women’s Voices: For Ourselves and Each Other

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 Guest Contributed by Ilene C. Wasserman Ph.DWomen Speaking

“I would like to think that things have changed for women at the workplace, but just when I let my guard down, I am reminded of the vestiges of the old patterns.”

Often, while working with senior executive women, I inevitably hear about the challenges of measuring up – of adhering to the standards that seem to be differently applied to men versus women. While ostensibly, conditions and opportunities have improved for women, the frequency intensity and amount of such comments seems to be on the rise. Some of what I am hearing includes:

  • When I speak up in a meeting, it doesn’t land with the same “punch” that it does when a man says the same thing — just a few minutes later. I say to myself Didn’t I just say that? When it continues to happen, I am tempted to keep quiet.
  • But when I do say something with force, I am often viewed as “too” forceful!

For decades, my colleagues and I have listened to this pattern of gender dynamic in meetings. More recently, the research that is documenting this pattern and the impact that it has on collaboration and productivity at the workplace as well as new words that are being used to describe these behaviors is gaining attention in the popular press.

Professor Victoria Brescoll from Yale University asked professional men and women to evaluate the competence of executives based on who spoke more often. Men who spoke more often than their peers were rated 10 percent higher. However, when women spoke more than their peers, they were rated 14 percent lower. As noted by Adam Grant and Sheryl Sandberg in a piece they wrote for the NYT January 12, 2015: Speaking While Female “women who worry that talking too much will cause them to be disliked are not paranoid; they are often right”.

Tali Mendleberg, from Princeton University goes on to say that while women may be confident in their views, “they’re not confident that what they have to say is valued, and that in turn shapes how willing they are to speak, and what is discussed.”

Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant are joining their voices on a regular basis to call attention to these and other issues of relationships at the workplace.

The pattern of “speaking while female” has consequences beyond the muffling of one person; rather it results in organizations and public forums missing out on a group of key contributors. It is critical that, together, we notice these patterns and be intentional about making changes such that all voices are heard.

In our book: Communicating Possibilities, we offer specific steps for noticing patterns using the acronym NOREN. NOREN stands for (1) Noticing, (2) Observing, (3) Reflecting, (4) Engaging, and (5) Noticing (Again).  In this case, how might we NOTICE when some people are speaking more than others while others are being talked over? In another blog, I wrote about micro-inclusions. A micro-inclusion is an act of stepping up and calling attention to the pattern of a man’s re-statement of a comment previously made by women is acknowledged in a way that links backs to and acknowledges the initial contribution.

OBSERVING is the active process of looking at how I, we and the organization might miss out on the contributions of some who are either talked over, interrupted, or who may be silencing themselves due to being less confident in the value of their ideas or are concerned about the consequences of asserting their voices.

REFLECTING is the ongoing process of taking what we notice, and consider what we might do, interpersonally, on teams and as a whole organization to create new patterns that are affirming and inviting.

ENGAGING differently – taking leadership to break the pattern and create openings and be an ally, by intervening interpersonally in a conversation or meeting, or structurally by initiating forms of contributing that mitigate barriers to contributing, and,

NOTICING AGAIN what we are creating together. How do we enact changes that are affirming, inviting and hopefully enable all people to see what they have to gain by enhancing the fullest contribution of women and other marginalized voices?

Change is a coordinated effort. We as women can do our part in noticing how we inhibit and silence ourselves. AND women need allies with each other as well as with our male counterparts to notice these patterns and enact new ways of listening, hearing and acknowledging each other to create new and better patterns of collaboration.

Ilene Wasserman, President of ICW Consulting Group is the author of Communicating Possibilities: A Brief Introduction to the Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM). She is passionate about helping her clients see the opportunities in diversity.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Women Should Tell More Stories About Themselves

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Guest contributed by Esther Choywoman typing on a laptop

“Women tend to be less comfortable with self-promotion — and more likely to be criticized when they do grab the spotlight,” reported Susan Chira in the New York Times in July 2017, after extensive interviews that included many CEOs and would-be CEOs.

Self-promotion is a delicate balance. But the alternative—hoping accomplishments speak for themselves and agonizing in silence until someone notices them—does nothing. We need to become fluent, comfortable and authentic in promoting our own achievements. And this is where storytelling can help. Here’s how.

  1. Remember that stories of you are NOT about you.

Every story is about building connections. As I have argued in my new book Let the Story Do the Work, telling an effective story requires us to think deeply about its intended audiences.

As psychologist Robert Cialdini’s research on social influence has shown, the people we see as “just like us” are the people whose ideas we find most persuasive. So, in telling a story about an achievement, reflect on the experiences that most people share. If your story reminds your listener of a similar experience, you will form an authentic connection that will make your achievements memorable. One of the great, essential shared-experience stories involves overcoming adversity or solving a problem, and that is also a strong set-up for being able to narrate an accomplishment

For instance, when my colleague Kelly Standing connects with potential clients, she tells the story of how the neighborhood bully once hung her from a tree by her neck and left her for dead. Fortunately, her father saw her and saved her life. Kelly’s dad asked himself, “How will my daughter remember this?” That question shaped his response and helped her to overcome the adversity by seeing herself as strong, rather than victimized. And through it, Kelly learned the power of a good question.

And that’s where she begins to talk about her accomplishments. The power of a good question led her to study in a renowned journalism program. And it has led her to solve clients’ business problems with “a journalist’s curiosity” and the ingenuity she learned from her father. “I help them see possibilities where they might only see pain,” she says.

As self-promotion stories go, Kelly’s is unusually honest and personal. It’s also universal. Although few people have been bullied to this extent, her story speaks to universal fears (for ourselves and our children). And it also brings someone else into the spotlight with her—her father.

  1. Choose the right universal element for the context.

What is the context for sharing your achievements? This will shape the type of universal experience you share.

  • Interview: Because it is nearly impossible to research your interviewers in advance, share a positive story of overcoming an obstacle. (It’s hard to predict how a negative shared experience will go over.)
  • Pitching: Use a shared experience to show you have the strength of character to complete the proposed project.
  • Fundraising: Choose a shared experience that underscores why it’s important to give to your cause.
  • Meeting a potential client: Select a shared experience that can move from personal to persuasive, illustrating your value (like Kelly’s story).
  1. Use Three Acts

An easy accomplishment doesn’t give the listener much to connect with. So reflect on the hurdles that stood in your way, and then shape your success into a three-act drama:

Act I: After setting the scene, plant a hook that has the central challenge embedded in it.

Act II: Describe your journey to overcome the main challenge. Shape this section based on what you want to persuade your audience of at the end.

Act III: Resolve the story and deliver the takeaway—“that’s why I’m here, and that’s why we’re having this conversation.”

  1. Seek Feedback

When gauging how the story will come across, nothing is more essential than the feedback of people who are like your target audience. Ask your test audience three key questions:

  • What info do you recall? If what stands out to your test audience isn’t what you hoped to convey, craft your message differently.
  • How does my story make you feel? The emotion evoked will stay with your audience longer than your exact words.
  • What questions do you have? If your story isn’t prompting questions, it isn’t building connections.

Using the same contextual clues and three-act structure, women can also promote each other. This will holistically challenge existing narratives about female leaders and bring the accomplishments of individual women into the spotlight where they belong.

Esther Choy is the President and Chief Story Facilitator of the business communication training and consulting firm Leadership Story Lab. Her debut book, Let the Story Do the Work (published by AMACOM), is now available on major online retail platforms such as Amazon.

Disclaimer: Guest contributors views and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Moving Forward Positively After Losing Your Job

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 Guest contributed by Alice BergFrustrated blonde woman sitting at a computer

Losing your job can happen to any of us. If you got fired, don’t get desperate. Yes, it is worrying and somewhat frustrating but you should see it as an opportunity to look at your career journey so far. Losing your job could be an opportunity to move in a different direction or even obtain an even more prestigious role you wouldn’t have considered otherwise. What should you do when you get fired and how do you overcome professional hardship and get back on track as fast as possible?

Leave smartly

Getting fired is a bitter pill to swallow, however don’t think of burning bridges. Your main goal is to leave your current firm on a positive note. It is important to save good relationships with your boss, co-workers and even clients in order not to threaten your future career. However, if you think that prejudice occurred and you were unfairly fired from the job because of your sex or race, you can seek legal advice.

Take time for yourself

Your life after being fired still goes on. It is not the right time to get upset and focus on your failure. Take this time to let it go and to adjust to this life change. Take a few days to take stock and to consider what options are open to you that will fully satisfy your professional interests in the future.

Control your emotions

Don’t let getting fired depression take the best of you. Don’t get stressed and try to accept your loss. You can allow yourself to mourn for a couple of days but then you have to leave this traumatic experience in the past and move on. Don’t hold the grudge against your boss or yourself. Manage your emotions and try to think over some positive aspects of being fired. It can be your fresh start, in the first place.

Spend time with the people closest to you

You can use your free time wisely and do things that previously you have never had time to do. You could try something beneficial for your mind and body but most importantly, you can spend more time with your family. While working, you always feel busy and out of time, so often you don’t get the spend as much time with your family as you would like. Now you can! Devote each moment to the people that matter in your life. They will be a strong emotional support for you at this difficult conjuncture.

Make your financial situation clear

After getting fired from a job you should dispose of your money wisely. You never know how much time it will take for you to find a new job. Therefore, you have to assess your financial situation, look over your budget and cut all extra expenses. Your savings will come in handy.

Understand your strengths and weaknesses

Take this time to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Make a list of all your best skills, abilities and experience that set you apart from others. Similarly, list each characteristic and trait that may hinder your way to success. Besides, you can talk to your trustworthy former colleagues and ask them to point out your strong and weak sides. Listen actively and it will be easier for you to figure out what to do to become a better version of yourself.

Once you see an overall picture of what you are good at and what should be changed, you will trigger off your enthusiasm of moving forward and conquering new heights.

Make your dreams come true

Now you are that close to realizing that losing your job is a true blessing for you. Nothing can stop you from making all your dreams come true. First of all, you are open to each new opportunity. If you have ever thought of a career change, but were afraid to take the first step – do it right now! If you have been dreaming of a vacation with your family – go together on a trip!

No time for moaning. Be active!

In order to boost your confidence, you have to be proactive. Think about a career you would like to pursue and do at least 3 useful things that will bring you closer to your dream job. Also, it will not let you get depressed. Use your time effectively. The truth is, you have no time to moan.

Be open for new opportunities

Don’t be afraid of change. It can be overwhelming, but you also will see how exciting it can be! Remember that everything happens for a reason. Who knows, maybe you were fired from your job to have an opportunity to rediscover yourself. It is high time to try something new: visit some professional conferences or meetings, refresh your resume, prepare your social media accounts and LinkedIn profile for job search, get ready for an interview and move forward towards your dreams!

Now you know what to do after getting fired. By implementing these steps to moving on you will have quality time free of your job duties. Use this time wisely and never get desperate and discouraged. Believe in yourself and start your new way to success.

Alice Berg – a blogger from Bath, UK, and a consultant at SkillRoads, who received a degree in Social Work and Applied Social Studies. Now she helps people to find their own way in life, gives career advice and guidance, helps young people to prepare for their careers. You can find Alice on Twitter and Facebook.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Mental Health and the Office Why It Matters More Than Ever to Be Open About Your Struggles

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Guest contributed by Katie McBethSad businesswoman

Every year World Mental Health Day is commemorated. This day of recognition is meant to help raise awareness, help dismantle the stigma, and provide those who suffer with access to support if they need it.

The focus of last year was mental health in the office: how awareness, stigma, and our work-life balance can affect workforces around the world. In America, especially, working women are often struggling to balance their life in and out of the office, and are finding it even more difficult to not let the stresses of the outside world affect their work and productivity. Although there is an increased awareness around mental illness, there is still a strong stigma on discussing it at work.

What does this mean for working women who suffer from mental illness? How can we not only become more successful in our careers, but also be more accepted for our invisible conditions? How can office leaders make a difference for all their employees? These questions can be an especially tough to parse, but they are extremely important for opening up the dialogue around mental illness in the office.

Erasing Stigma Through Dialogue

Over a lifetime, it’s estimated that the average full-time American worker spends about 90,000 hours at work. It’s no wonder, then, why this year’s theme of Mental Health Awareness Day was focused on the office. Our jobs take up a large portion of our lives, and the environment around us, our work habits, and our outside life can all factor into our mental and physical well-being.

However, it’s rare to hear conversations about mental health while actually in the office. Much of this can be due to the vulnerability of opening up about mental health conditions, but it could also be due to the fact that patriarchal standards still reign supreme in business. The idea of exposing mental illness — as well as emotion or empathy — can be seen as a weakness.

Numerous studies have come to prove this to be false, and in fact honing your emotional intelligence can play a large part in improving a business and can really shine in management. Empathy and communication, in particular, have shown to reduce employee turnover, improve team morale, and increase productivity for individuals and teams.

When discussing mental health, one of the biggest hurdles in addressing it can be the stigmas that exist around these conditions: both social stigmas (those created by society) and self stigmas (those created internally by people who suffer from mental illness). However, some of those stigmas are beginning to change, and much of that is thanks to the people who are brave enough to speak up and be open about it, and to those that have the empathy and patience to listen and learn. Scientific research has also shown that people are more willing to seek out help — via therapy, counseling, or medication — when they can overcome these stigmas.

For those of us that suffer from mental illness, being open about our struggles and our conditions can be inherently powerful. However, it can be difficult to be open if we don’t have a support system in place. On the reverse, having a supportive, empathetic, and kind boss can be a major factor in helping those that suffer feel less stigmatized by their invisible condition. Empathy is also extremely powerful, especially in the office and especially among those in management and leadership positions.

Accepting Mental Health as Physical Health

There’s a reason mental illness is referred to as an “invisible condition.” Although common misconceptions often overlook the body-mind connection, there is plenty of evidence to show that mental illnesses can have a profound effect on the physical body.

However, the general population that doesn’t suffer from mental illness could still suffer from occasional bouts of depression or anxiety brought on by work, or even external circumstances or trauma —. Prolonged exposure to stress can have physical effects as well, which is why it is all the more important to consider allowing mental health days at work.

Sick days allow employees the opportunity to stay at home and recover from the flu or from injuries. Mental health days, on the other hand, allow employees the opportunity to stay at home, relax, rest, and recover. Even for employees that don’t suffer from mental illness, mental health days allow them a chance to step away from the stress of the office and hopefully find ways to practice de-stressing techniques. About 25 percent of Americans agree that work is a main stress-point for them, and stepping away can help them find tranquility, as well as make them better workers for when they do return to the office.

Organizational stress — can result in disengagement if it goes on too long or is unaddressed. Allowing employees the chance to step away from the stress of work can help them feel more appreciated. It can also help them refocus on tasks and be more engaged in the office.

Mental health days go beyond helping those who suffer from mental illness and can help everyone feel better about their work. Examples of this increased emphasis on mental wellness can be seen in European countries where work weeks are shorter, vacation times are longer, and employees are generally happier to be working for their company. If only America could pick up these same practices, maybe our workforce would be better for it.

Changing the Workplace for the Better

Especially in the workplace, Mental Health Awareness Day — where it is frowned upon to discuss these ailments —can help create a dialogue that could lead to lasting changes for everyone.

Being a professional working women who suffers from mental illness can be difficult. Facing the constant stigma of our conditions, as well as the threat of losing our jobs if we’re having a bad day, or even being the subject of ridicule or discrimination because we can’t “showcase” our condition, is a daily worry. There will always be someone to try to put you down for something you cannot control about yourself.

However, our office is no place to face this sort of targeted discrimination, and having a supportive and understanding boss can help prevent sufferers from being alienate at their place of employment. Additionally, raising awareness around the effects of mental illness and stress in the workplace can help carve the paths for healthier lifestyle choices and happier employees.

There are ways to make lasting change in the office and in our lives, but it starts with one simple step: having a conversation. If you suffer from mental illness and feel like your manager will be receptive to discussing your concerns, then maybe it’s time to have that talk. If you’re a manager and want to showcase your support for all your employees, be open about allowing mental health days in the office, and perhaps provide resources for those that need it.

Finally, if you suffer from serious mental illness and are afraid that it will interfere with your work, know that you are not suffering alone. Seek out help, find treatment, and know that although you may have this condition forever, it will not limit the great things you plan to do with your life. You do not have to suffer in silence, and you do not deserve to be stigmatized. Let’s work on making the world a little better for everyone.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Undervaluing Yourself? Here’s How to Make Sure You Get What You Deserve

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Guest contributed by Karen Schoenbarthappy man with women

Do you routinely undervalue your professional worth? Are you afraid to step up and take on new challenges or ask for a promotion or raise because you aren’t sure you’ve earned them? If so, you are definitely not alone.

“Imposter Syndrome” is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. It refers to high-achieving individuals who can’t internalize their accomplishments and persistently fear being exposed as a fraud. According to a recent study in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, up to 70 percent of people feel this way.

The funny thing about Imposter Syndrome is that sufferers are almost always able to meet the requirements of their job, so their fears are actually unwarranted. Nevertheless, overcoming these fears isn’t easy. Follow these steps to gain confidence that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Set goals for what you want to do and focus on achieving those things.
  • Do an honest evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses. While everyone focuses on fixing the weaknesses, also focus on building up and honing your strengths.
  • Find people who believe in you both personally and professionally and reach out to them for support.
  • When you receive a compliment, don’t negate it or deny it. Simply say, “thank you.”
  • Focus on helping others instead of yourself. As C.S. Lewis said: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.”
  • Talk with people you respect to see if they share similar concerns. Work together to overcome them. Remember, even brilliant and famous people occasionally admit to feeling like frauds. Try to laugh about it.

Nothing Cures Imposter Syndrome Like Hard Proof

An especially critical strategy for overcoming Imposter Syndrome is to track your accomplishments and communicate them to the people who matter. It is not attractive to brag, of course, but sharing your positive results with your boss and other senior executives will encourage them to support and reward you. When this happens, you will naturally feel like less of an imposter.

It helps to be as proactive as possible, so start a file today. If you get an email from a colleague or a client thanking you or complimenting something you’ve done, add it to the file. If you’ve been given specific goals or objectives, keep them handy and work the list—ensuring you are addressing everything on it. If you need help to accomplish a specific goal, ask. For example, if your boss said you need to hone your presentation skills but you haven’t had a chance to present anything, ask if there is an assignment that will afford you the opportunity. It’s fine to reference your objective and the desire to accomplish it.

A few notes of caution. Your file of accomplishments should be long and comprehensive, but beware of overkill when talking to your manager about them – even if you feel Imposter Syndrome getting the best of you. Choose examples from the file that demonstrate your mastery of a specific task or skill. These examples can also be used when meeting with other senior people in your company or a new manager who can benefit from learning what you have been working on.

Careful tracking and strategic communication will ensure that you have an excellent business case to ask for a promotion or raise, and will hopefully assuage your fears. But what if the worst happens? What if you swallow your apprehension, ask, and are denied anyway? How can you keep from undervaluing yourself then? First, make sure you understand the reasons for the decision. Are there softer skills you are missing, such as communicating tactfully or being assertive in meetings? Ask for specific examples of what you need that you are not currently demonstrating. If nothing is missing, inquire about what is holding you back. A lack of positions at the next level is sometimes a legitimate issue, so you may need to be patient.

Don’t Undervalue Your Offerings Either

A corollary to Imposter Syndrome is underestimating the value of your products or services. Here, you should remember that when you provide something that meets a need of your client or customer, you cannot be afraid to be compensated for it. Have pride in your offering, and know exactly how your client or customer’s life or business will improve as a result of having it. Be willing to walk away, but keep in mind that there are times you might want to be more flexible. For example, you might decrease your price in order to protect an important, long-term relationship. A negotiation that ends in a win/win will reduce your self-doubt and keep you from falling victim to Imposter Syndrome in the future.

Adapted with permission of the publisher, Motivational Press, Inc., from MOM.B.A. Essential Business Advice from One Generation to the Next 
by Karyn Schoenbart with Alexandra Levit.  Copyright (c) 2017 by Karyn Schoenbart. All rights reserved. https://www.amazon.com/Mom-B-Essential-Business-Advice-Generation/dp/1628654597

About the author

KARYN SCHOENBART, author of MOM.B.A. is CEO of The NPD Group, a global provider of information and advisory services to many of the world’s leading brands. She has over 30 years of experience in the market research field, with expertise in identifying and developing new business opportunities and client partnerships.

Schoenbart was named one of the Top 25 Most Influential Women of the Mid-Market by the CEO Connection. She is also the recipient of the Long Island Brava Award, which recognizes high-impact female business leaders, and the Legacy Award from Women in Consumer Technology. Schoenbart is passionate about coaching others to greater levels of achievement. She is a resident of Long Island, NY. To learn more, visit: KarynSchoenbart.com.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Increasing Accountability in Yourself and Others

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Guest contributed by Linda O’Neill, VP of Strategic Services at Vigilant

accountability

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Almost every executive I talk with desires a more accountable organization. Many of them are running highly effective and profitable companies and it is their goal to keep the bar moving up and to the right.  There is room for improvement. In an accountable organization each employee understands his/her role and each employee can be counted on to do his/her job with no surprises. When a company’s culture embraces accountability, employees are self-motivated to contribute to the success of the organization.  It’s important to remember that accountability is voluntary – you can’t make employees (or anyone else) more accountable. There are, however, steps you can take to increase the likelihood your employees will choose to be accountable.

  1. Define it. It is important that everyone in your organization define accountability in the same way. Spend some time on this as a leadership team. Webster’s dictionary uses words like “answerable” and “explainable” to define accountability. To me, the most important element of accountability is the obligation to answer for our actions. It’s not just completing the actions.  It’s being responsible for the consequences of our actions in addition to completing them. It involves taking ownership of your job. There is no room for blaming others. What’s more important than the way I define accountability, however, is the way you define it for your organization. There is no right or wrong answer.
  2. Communicate it. Communicate the company’s expectations around accountability – broadly, consistently and frequently. You will be the most successful when you communicate accountability in context with the company’s mission, values and goals. When each employee understands that the way his/her job is done affects the company’s performance, you will experience greater individual and collective accountability. Put more control in the hands of employees for how they meet the expectations of their job/role. Employees who feel responsibility will also more willingly embrace accountability.
  3. Reward it. Just as you spent time defining accountability, spend equal time understanding how you will measure and then reward it. As the company makes progress toward its goals, share the information broadly. “The Carrot Principle” by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton is a great book to gather ideas about rewards. The authors stress that rewards must be deliberate. Create a system for yourself. You won’t just “remember” to reward employees. Tie the rewards to company goals and the employees’ role in meeting those goals. Communicate how the employees’ accountability (obligation to answer for actions) affected the goals.

Wanting more clarity around measuring accountability

It is important for every employee at every level in the organization to have a document articulating his/her accountabilities (similar to a S.M.A.R.T. goal document). I like calling this document simply “<Name> <Year> Accountabilities” (i.e., mine would be “Linda O’Neill’s 2017 Accountabilities”). Identify the categories important to your business, such as financial performance, customer service, team leadership and executive maturity. Clearly articulate the accountabilities in each area. Once you have a complete list of an employee’s accountabilities, define how you will measure success. For example, an employee may be accountable for bringing in $15 million in service billings for the fiscal year. The employee would record the results achieved at the end of the period.

Wanting greater accountability to self

Accountability comes from the inside out; it is a choice. Let me say that again: Accountability comes from the inside out; it is a choice. As a result, it makes sense that learning greater accountability to self enhances accountability on the job. Positive change begins with individuals changing themselves. You can translate the same strategies listed in the “wanting more accountability from others” to yourself. First, define what accountability means to you. Do you take an “owners” mentality to the commitments you make to yourself as well as the commitments you make to others? Next, spend some time noticing how your actions compare to your definition of accountability. You might want to write down every commitment you make to yourself or someone else for a week and then notice what supported or what got in the way of your accountability. What conclusions can you draw about you learned? What small change will you make to increase your satisfaction with your accountability to self? How will this enhance the way you model accountability for others?

Conclusion

Accountability means being doing what you said you would do, and being answerable for all of your actions –those that influence others and those that affect only you. When there is little accountability in an organization, stress levels tend to rise, communication is reduced, and territorialism is pervasive. When accountability is strong, employees are engaged, performance is high and company goals are met. What choice will you make to improve accountability both within your organization and within yourself today?

Disclaimer: Opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of the glasshammer.com

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Maintaining Balance as a Female Caregiver with a Career

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By Kimberley Brown

motherhood

Image via Shutterstock

Like many women who enjoy being engaged in their careers and in the workplace, they also enjoy spending time with friends and taking time to care for their families and children.

But what happens when a “working mom” who’s finally reached the pinnacle of her career now has to take the time to care for a sick child requiring ongoing care? Sara McGlocklin spent a number of years to achieve her goal to be a lawyer and McGlocklin landed her dream job as a lawyer for Children’s Law Center of California where she helps abused and neglected children in the foster care system. Then, bad news arrived. She comments,

“Seven months ago our younger daughter Marian, at 18 months, was diagnosed with early signs of a fatal and progressive genetic disorder for which there is no cure. Now, I have the added pressure of caring for my child in the midst of managing a very busy career.”

“As a young girl I did not expect the challenges of balancing a career with being a caregiver, and I especially did not anticipate being a caregiver for a child with a fatal disease,” said McGlocklin, attorney and mother of 2 children.

It’s no surprise that women are often the predominant caregivers when it comes to providing support to loved ones, especially when that loved one is a sick child. Interestingly, women are 10 times more likely to take time off from work to stay home with their sick children – and – mothers are five times more likely to take their sick kids to doctor’s appointments, according to a recent Kaiser Family Foundation study.

Like for example with Sara, she takes her daughter Marian to physical therapy twice a week, occupational therapy once a week, and speech therapy twice a week. In addition, she has to take her daughter to the hospital every other week so her daughter can take an experimental treatment.

However, in the midst of juggling numerous responsibilities for her family and her daughter, what’s interesting is Sara has actually picked up some unexpected tips along the way to encourage other women who may be trying to manage a career while being a caregiver, including…

It’s OK To Time Off: Sometimes women have a sense of guilt when asking their bosses for time off, even if it’s to care for a loved one. But it’s important to know your limits – which are human, and sometimes you are needed more at home than at work or vice versa. It’s important to carve out the flexibility you need for taking care of a sick child.

Don’t Go it Alone. Ask for help when it’s needed. Striking the balance between independence and accepting support is difficult. However, no one wins points for running themselves into the ground, and while there are many things we can accomplish on our own – accepting the help of a babysitter, friend or neighbor for small tasks adds up to big rewards. Ultimately, one of the most valuable things we have as mothers and professionals is our time. Sometimes saying, yes, when people offer help – and even voicing the need yourself brings a sense of teamwork, comfort and support. Most importantly, it is a gift of what we are all short of: time and energy to spend with our families and also meeting our needs and aspirations personally and professionally.

Take Some Pressure Off. Yes, I know everyone may be depending on you, especially if it’s a child but remember to find some down time in the midst of it all – even if it means something else isn’t getting done perfectly. Reading a good book (or watching a favorite show) or laughing with a friend can help relieve stress and recharge you so that you can be more energized to provide the care that you need to give.

Connect. Make meaningful connections with other people or communities. Women are more likely to lose friendships in their thirties and forties than to gain and create meaningful ones. Similarly, and conversely, deep and meaningful connections to other people are a critical component to happiness.

While many women continue to face some level of stress and pressure when managing their careers and serving as caregivers, it’s important for them to remember the importance of self-care as well. These simple tips should help women to gain better control and balance of their lives so they can continue to be a source of strength for loved ones and even for the co-workers who are depending on them as well.

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Tips on Building on Your Company’s Commitment to Diversity

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Guest contributed by Karina DeLaCruz, Diversity Executive at CSAA Insurance Group, a AAA Insurer

diversity

Image via Shutterstock

Companies that embrace diversity can better reap the economic benefits of a diverse and inclusive workforce — and increasingly diverse markets. Our growing diversity as a nation and the impacts of globalization underscore why it’s critical for companies to embed the value of diversity and inclusion in their policies and practices for long-term success.

Diversity has an impact and is proven to drive engagement, innovation and profitability – all of which have very real bottom-line impacts:

Diversity drives engagement. Organizations that capitalize on the strengths of all employees – and leverage their differences and unique values – have the most engaged employees. Employees with the highest level of engagement perform 20 percent better and are 87 percent less likely to leave the organization than employees with low levels of engagement, according to a study by the Corporate Leadership Council. Engaged employees are more satisfied at work and more productive, and are more likely to stay with an organization and contribute to its success.

Diversity drives innovation. By bringing together different backgrounds, skills, and experiences, businesses are better positioned to develop innovative solutions needed to succeed in an increasingly competitive economy. Forbes Insights conducted a survey of more than 300 senior executives: among companies with more than $10 billion in annual revenues, 56 percent strongly agreed that diversity helps drive innovation.

 Diversity drives profitability. Numerous studies have demonstrated a business benefit to diversity. Deloitte highlighted research of 506 U.S. organizations showing that organizations with greater racial and gender diversity performed better in terms of sales revenues, number of customers and market share. Catalyst looked at Fortune 500 companies with the highest representation of women board directors and they attained higher financial performance, on average, than those with the lowest representation of women board directors.

 How do we get started?

If not approached strategically, diversity can feel like “just one more thing” employees are asked to take on. Consider these three key components in building out your diversity and inclusion strategy:

  • Get clear on the business outcomes you’re looking to drive through diversity and inclusion. Make sure you fully align those outcomes with company strategy.
  • Secure C-suite commitment — and their active, visible engagement with your efforts.
  • Embedding diversity in your company’s core values helps ensure that it is considered in strategy development and execution, and considered when critical decisions are made.

Launching a diversity and inclusion program – or expanding efforts – may require having difficult conversations to break through unconscious biases and educating leadership on how the program supports company goals and can benefit the employees and customers. Only when that foundational work is complete can you fully implement a successful diversity and inclusion program and reap the benefits.

How do you measure success?

No matter how much value you believe the program brings to the company, it’s important to track results. We look at metrics focused on key initiatives in each of the four pillars of our diversity and inclusion strategy. These include:

  1. Workforce: reflecting the diverse communities we serve
  2. Workplace: influencing company culture through diversity and inclusion
  3. Community/Marketplace: strengthening our brand in the marketplace through outreach, philanthropy, volunteerism and business partnerships with organizations that have similar values
  4. Members/Customers: weaving diversity and inclusion into the fabric of our business strategy and using it to better understand our customers’ needs and expectations

We developed a scorecard to measure success. For example, for the workplace pillar we look at our workforce representation, as most companies do. We also have a diversity index within our annual employee engagement survey that allows us to measure our effectiveness in providing an inclusive work environment. When it comes to community and marketplace, we evaluate how we’re doing in the area of supplier diversity and whether we’re increasing our community presence in terms of volunteer hours and community events hosted by the diversity and inclusion team.

The future of diversity and inclusion

Twenty years ago when we talked about diversity, the focus was on race, ethnicity and in some cases, sexual orientation. More companies are shifting their focus from diversity to inclusion or belonging. Diversity is a fact. Inclusion is a practice. Equity is the goal.

Ultimately, diversity and inclusion is a journey with no finish line. We all can play a role in helping create a more welcoming environment at work, while also enjoying the competitive advantages of inclusion.

Karina DeLaCruz is the Human Resources Consulting and Diversity Executive at CSAA Insurance Group based in Walnut Creek, CA.  She has extensive background and expertise in Human Resources, Diversity and Inclusion, Leadership Development, Business Operations and Customer Service.  In her role at CSAA Insurance Group, she is responsible for the design and execution of the company’s diversity and inclusion strategy and oversees all of their diversity and inclusion initiatives and programs.

Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Working Women: It’s Time to Take Charge of Your Career

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women working mentoring
Guest Contributed by Lexie Dy (readyjob.org)
There is something within a woman that dares to defy the odds of limitations. Where there is a giant, she silences it. Where there is a mountain, she moves it. Where there is a glass ceiling, she shatters it. She carries a remarkable strength and unmistakable determination to meet her goals. She is brave and she is successful. “She” is you.
 
Sometimes all that it takes to reach our full potential is a reminder of who we are and what we can accomplish. It’s time we stop chasing our dream career or position and start taking charge of them. It’s time to shake up the business norm and not only achieve your dream career, but excel in it.
 
The positive influence women can have in the workplace is undeniable. Research shows that the presence of women (and other minorities) at the executive level of companies and in the boardroom can have what’s called a “panel effect.” When women bring their perspectives and experience to the C-level, they are able to influence white male executives on diversity, fairness, pay equality, and more. By reaching for the stars and obtaining a position of leadership, you earn the power to re-shape women’s role in business by hiring CEOs, setting executive pay, investigating discrimination, and approving executive promotions. Your success and that of those around you should be based on skills and talent, not gender and ancient stereotypes.
 
Whatever you envision as your ideal career, you can get there if you work for it. What is that thing you daydream about? You have talked about it for a while now and you would be doing it full time if only you knew how. This is how you do it: study other successful people in your field. Rub elbows with other women in positions of leadership who are where you want to see yourself and build a network. Pick their brains and discuss the ways in which they overcame the obstacles they most certainly faced.
 
 When you are up-close and personal with your own plan, it is easy to miss the 360-degree view of the rest of your world. Stay up to date with current events in your field, and learn from the people who are succeeding in unprecedented ways. Not only will you be able to apply the insight you’ve gained from other success stories, but you might impress your colleagues with a well-informed understanding of your industry.
 
To all of the women who feel like they are at a disadvantage because of their gender, be proud of who you are as a woman and as a valuable employee. Women are advancing into leadership roles, managerial positions, and business owners, yet are not always compensated equally. There is a noticeably large number of industries that haven’t fully stepped up to the times we live in. Be one of the women who help to make a lasting impression on the future of the world marketplace. Don’t shy away from the opportunity to offer your opinion on business matters. Speak up if you are overlooked for a promotion, and be bold enough to comment on your wages if you notice a discrepancy. You have the same level of importance as the men in the field, and you make a world of difference for the company the same as they do.
 
Show your supervisor that you have potential for more responsibility by setting a high standard for the rest of the team. Arrive to the job early and ready to hit the ground running. Consider how you can accomplish more than what was asked of you. Once your assignments are finished, offer to assist your co-workers with theirs. Build relationships with your teammates out of genuine interest in your future with them and the company.
 
Sure, there are going to be discouraging days, but remember: you are not your mistakes.

You will make a few errors along the way, but that is to be expected. Mistakes are often the best way to learn. If you handle them with grace, you might even be surprised by how well your positive attitude will impress your boss. Rather than hang your head and apologize, own up to it and ask how you could have done things differently and what skillsets you need to work on in order to be adequately prepared for future opportunities. Count your mishaps as a blessing in disguise and move forward.
 
Silence your giants, move your mountains, and shatter those glass ceilings. You are your very own success story waiting to happen. Be bold and take charge of your dream career. It’s time to take charge.
 
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