Tag Archive for: Guest Contribution

Sallie Krawcheck, CEO of Ellevate speaks at Barnard College

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Sallie KrawcheckSallie Krawcheck, for those who don’t know, is now the CEO of Ellevate – a women’s professional network, with its tens of thousands of women members around the world formerly known as 85 Broads. She seems almost archetypal as she tells her story, in a wood-paneled room at Barnard College earlier this year (February 2015), where she is speaking to a group of young would-be entrepreneurs. Confident, laid-back and very funny, she describes her dramatic trajectory in the world of finance. For those of you who don’t know Sallie’s journey; she graduated from UNC Chapel Hill, and got a job on wall street, did an MBA at Columbia and before long was Institutional Investor magazine’s top-ranked equity analyst.

Integrity has always been important to her and her guidance to the firm of which she had become CEO, Sanford C Bernstein, was cited as a major reason why this firm withdrew from the underwriting business. This was one of the decisions that caused Fortune to identify her in 2002 as “The Last Honest Analyst.”

Chutes and Ladders

From there she began her swift ascent. Krawcheck seemed for years after to have a golden career. She was tapped for top leadership at the major banks: from Smith Barney to Merrill Lynch to US Trust. Others followed: In 2005, Forbes named Krawcheck as number seven on its list of The World’s 100 Most Powerful Women. Most recently, Krawcheck was named #9 on Fast Company’s list of the 100 most creative people of 2014.

But it was not all a clear flight path. When a commentator at a recent lecture of hers, at which she shared her insights for younger women who wish to learn from her journey, pointed out that Krawcheck “rose faster and higher than any woman on Wall Street,” Krawcheck replied, with disarming candor, “and fell.”“I rose swiftly and I fell….It isn’t all a straight line. And you will fall – get back up. I just refused to go away.” Krawcheck expanded further on the idea of resilience as a necessary quality for women in leadership. But often women don’t, her questioner pointed out– they might take a setback or professional rejection personally, or feel demotivated. Krawcheck conceded: “It hurts. I ran Smith Barney – I was fired from that. I’m the only woman who has been fired on the front page of the Wall Street Journal two times. It hurts.” Krawcheck continued, “To me you live one life,” she went on, pushing back gently, in a way that felt quite inspiring. “You get one opportunity. You grab it with both hands – the worst thing that can happen is that you fail. To me that is not such a bad alternative.”

She notes that her worst day is better than the days of 99% of the rest of the world. “When you have that lens,” she concludes, “it is not “poor me.” It gives you perspective when you keep in mind where the rest of the world is compared to our good fortune.”

Best Advice

Krawcheck shared three insights, in addition to work your tail off.

Number 1: “Network, network, network.”

She points out that young women say, `“I don’t want to use a connection – I just want to be recognized for myself.”’ The assumption, “”If I just keep my head down and do good work I will be recognized” is, Krawcheck warns, a common myth among women. “There is no HR fairy godmother”,” she declared to roars of laughter and applause. “Who you know is what you know,” she emphasized. “The guys know a lot of people. We need to know a lot of people.” She presents fascinating data that reveal that women don’t see the power of networking until their 30s – by which time the men have moved ahead.

Number 2: “Keep Learning”

The number of women her age, she says, who proclaim, “Oh I don’t get Facebook!” “Well, Facebook is not going anywhere,” she remarked drily, to more laughter. Or “I’m not on LinkedIn” – to which she retorted, “Why? You don’t want anyone to find you?” She pointed out that her ability to find and acquire Ellevate depended on a chain of ten connections.

Number 3: “Avoid Groupthink”

The third insight that she shared that day, is that groupthink is bad for the bottom line, and that in her opinion diversity helps cure groupthink. Bankers, she says, did not see the bubble coming because they were all invested in the groupthink about the sector.

Krawcheck states “Diverse teams lead to higher return on capital, lower risk and greater long term focus. Diverse teams outperform smarter teams. “

Number 4: “Share Information”

Finally she shared the insight that Ellevate’s research shows that women seek different rewards from work than men do. “Meaning and purpose” is number one for women – money is number four. So she suggests that a goal of companies that want to retain and promote women should be to bring “meaning and purpose” into their mission. She comments, “If these institutions were about meaning and purpose, not just money, It could change everything. We are not finding it [these values] in existing companies so we are creating them, and they are amazing.”

She believes that women also need community and companies need women to be in community, and she concluded that when women are in networks such as Ellevate, in which they can share information and knowledge. Sallie quoted a reduced attrition rate for these women compared to that of their peers due to network participation.

Now Krawcheck, who has been at the head of many of these traditional models of a business, is running a 21st century disruptive model, that seeks to combine revenue generation with a transformational mission of identifying and boosting women’s ventures. She is now putting these “Aha!” insights into real time practice; and this kind of project and message, as it moves ahead alongside that of other women pioneers with aligned insights – indeed“could change everything”.

By Guest Contributor Naomi Wolf on behalf of the Athena Leadership Center, a partner of theglasshammer.com

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Making Success Stick!

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women salesGuest contributed by Wendy Wallbridge

There’s no question that women have achieved success in today’s business world. More than half the work force now is female. The familiar “Rosie the Riveter” poster, created in 1942 to help America visualize women in the work force, is an historical artifact now. There is no need to create an image. All we have to do is open our eyes.

But while women have succeeded in numbers, we still do not attain the higher rungs of the success ladder. Few of us climb higher than middle management. As Sheryl Sandberg aptly points out, “Women are not making it to the top of any profession in the world.”

It would be easy to lay the blame on external causes. Systemic sexism persists; we know that. But without making it about “them,” what, first of all, can we women do to understand the challenges that we face, and secondly, what can we do to create change for ourselves and in the system as well?

While there may be external forces at work, if we’re honest, we must acknowledge an internal monologue that holds us back. Somehow we believe we need to continue to prove we have earned the success we have achieved. Even when we succeed, even when we have the coveted job, we seem to think we still need to apply for it. We tend to think there is someone more well-suited for the opportunity, we dismiss our value-add, we opt out, we wait and see.

Not just our mind, but our wiring—our neuro-circuitry—works against us in this regard. Ironically, while women generally have better memories than men, helping us to multi-task, we also tend to hold on to past failures and ruminate to our own disadvantage. We “stew” in the soup of our imagined shortcomings. As neuropsychologist Rick Hanson says, human brains “are Velcro to bad experiences and Teflon to good experiences.” Unfortunately, that is especially true of women.

It turns out, it takes concerted effort to make positive experiences “stick.” Hanson encourages his clients to “marinate” in positive thoughts by consciously dwelling on the good stuff: happy experiences, satisfaction, joy, for ten to twelve seconds. Evolving neuroscience shows that a practice of this sort (mental activity which stimulates reward neurotransmitters dopamine and natural opioids) stimulates a general “brightening” of the mind. As Hanson says, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” By changing mental activity, by working at making the positive sink in, we can change our neural circuitry, and in turn change the way we think.

The solution for women in the workplace is to target that technique on work experience: Women need to learn how to internalize the successes they have. Re-story their narrative. Re-engineer their mental and emotional wiring. Lay down new neuro-circuitry.

Here are some ways to do that:
  • Keep a Kudos File

Record the progress you make, first in your own words, in a file, along with any acknowledgement you receive from others of your “wins,” whether big or teensy. Archive all emails like: “Hey you killed it at that meeting!” “Great presentation!” “Your execution on that project was flawless.”

  • Stage a Mental Intervention

When you catch yourself speaking to yourself in ways that make you feel small, have a mantra handy that reminds you of who you really are. Say, “I am gracious, magnanimous, a wise leader!” Pause and allow those words to percolate through your mind.

  • Track Your Gains and Appoint an Ally

Identify one valued workplace behavior you want to increase, like speaking up more in meetings, and make note in a document file every time you do it. Then ask a trusted co-worker to point out your progress and also to let you know when you do “that thing” you’re trying to change: being defensive, trying to prove yourself, speaking pessimistically, whatever it may be.

  • Create Community

Form a professional women’s circle of four to six colleagues to support one another in your development and provide honest feedback and encouragement for each other. We need to be heard and hear that we’re not alone in our challenges. Give that meeting a regular slot in your schedule, and stand by it.

  • Embody it

As your head hits the pillow mentally scroll through your day, intentionally focusing on anything you are proud of that happened that day, whether big or small, and allow yourself to really feel the success in your body.

If these suggestions seem simple, good! Just know that they are not simply “helpful hints” but are potentially powerful tools, based on brain science. By changing the way we frame our experience in word and thought, we affect our wiring. We can change the way we think. And if workplace mindset really plays a part in holding women back, the good news is, we can change that.

Guest contributor’s advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

Wendy Wallbridge is a strategic advisor and pioneer in the coaching field. As the founder and principal of On Your Mark Corporate Coaching, Wallbridge works with Fortune 100 leaders and teams at organizations such as Intel, Apple, Wells-Fargo and Hewlett-Packard, among others. A popular Tedx speaker and producer of both the TEDxSandHillRdWomen conference and the Women’s Evolutionary Leadership Forum, Wallbridge has earned a reputation for establishing breakthrough conversations that enhance the way women work, live, play, and contribute.She regularly presents to organizations such as UC Berkeley Haas School of Business, the Professional Business Women’s Conference, The Commonwealth Club, Women in Technology International, The Women’s Leadership Forum and the 3% Conference, and also teaches an annual “Leading with Power & Grace” six-month group coaching series for women. For more information, please visit www.wendywallbridge.com.

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7 Voices That Weaken Women’s Leadership

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Barbara is in her late twenties and speaks with a relentlesslProfessional Womeny cheerful voice that can get on people’s nerves. She is always smiling, happy, and eager—and sounds as though she’s ten yours younger than she really is.

Our instructor asks her whether she used another voice during any time in her life. At first, she replies, “Oh no, this is the way I’ve always spoken.” Then upon reflection, she blurts out. “Oh my goodness—I remember now! I used to have a completely different voice when I was head of my debating society at university! . . . . It was way, way lower. People would say I was one of the best debaters they’d heard.””

“So what happened,” our instructor asked.

“Ever since I started working for my boss—six years ago when I was straight out of university—he’s asked me to smile. Every morning during those first few months I reported to him, he’d walk up to my desk and say, ‘Where’s that smile?’ Sometimes he’d say it twice or three times in one day. I guess that made my voice cheery and nice sounding.”

This story says a lot about our voice—and how it is shaped by external realities. Finding your true leadership voice often requires getting rid of vocal patterns we have acquired in our past. Do you have any of the “voices” described below that can undercut your leadership?

Our Many Voices

The little girl voice. This high-pitched, thin, and wispy tone makes the speaker sound younger and less confident than she really is. Often the little girl voice is accompanied by lifting the voice at the end of sentences as though asking a question, rather than making a statement. People won’t take you seriously if you sound 10 years old.

The cheerleader voice. This hyped up voice makes the speaker sound weak because she is trying so hard. The cheerleader pulls out all the stops, pushes her voice into the higher registers, picks up her pace, smiles a lot, and uses lots of fly-away energy. This voice lacks the gravitas and grounded commitment of a leader.

The maternal voice. This voice can be either loud and controlling or quietly domineering. A client came to us for coaching because she whispered when she spoke. She had worked as a kindergarten teacher and learned to get children’s attention with a quiet maternal voice. The problem is that people have to lean in to hear her speak, and her voice sounds manipulative to a business audience.

The helpful voice. This voice positions the speaker as a subordinate. A woman in one of our courses was the sort of person who could probably run a company. But her voice made her sound much lower in rank than she was. The helpful voice is submissive and always obliging. It turned out that she had begun her work life in a secretarial position; her voice got “stuck” in that lower role and never matured.

The girlfriend voice. This is a sweet, coy voice that may get attention in the office, but for the wrong reasons. It’s the vocal equivalent of short skirts and cleavage. It may have its side benefits, but it doesn’t work for someone who is career focused. This is not uncommon even among women who have no hidden agenda.

The nice voice. This is one of the more common voices women use because girls are raised to be “nice.” Unfortunately “nice” lacks power. In fact, being nice in the board room, conveys the impression that you are trying to make others feel good—thereby putting them in the power position and belittling your leadership.

The grateful voice. This tone can suggest that a woman feels she doesn’t deserve to be heard. One woman explained, “That gratefulness suggests we are not comfortable being at the table, and indicates we’re not as invested as other participants present.”

The manly voice. This is less common today than it once was, when women took on the male style to fit into a male-dominated work environment. This voice is low, often aggressive, and shows little or no warmth. In the movie, The Devil Wears Prada, Meryl Streep plays an executive who adopts those tones.

If you identify with one of these voices, consider whether it serves you well as a leader. These voices play to a different audience and reflect a different time or role in our lives. It’s important to leave them behind if you want to sound like a leader.

What can you replace them with? A voice that is grounded and assertive without any of the overtones mentioned above. A leader’s voice is true to the thoughts being delivered—it has no other agenda. So connect your voice to the words you are delivering. Speak with conviction and power and depth. This will make all the difference in how your audience perceives you.

Guest Contributed by Judith Humphrey

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Moving On Up

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bottom lineSomeone once asked me if I felt I had to work harder than my male peers in order to succeed. While I won’t argue that a lot of hard work went into getting to where I am now, I attribute my success to a more strategic reason – working smarter.

Although Satya Nadella, Microsoft’s CEO, is credited with the “keep your nose to the grindstone and good things will come your way” school of thought, this skewed belief is a lot more prevalent than we would like to believe. Perhaps the most important outcome to these foot-in-mouth moments, besides sending the culprit on a heartfelt public mea culpa, is to start a conversation on the issues women still face in the workforce. Let’s face it, gender inequity is alive and well in America.

But this is a complicated issue borne from deeply ingrained biases on both sides of the table. Biases for which we are often unaware. Accepting this as a fact of life provides leverage to females who seek to move up the corporate ladder. Knowing what we are up against provides us the ability to strategize a plan. By the way, women are not immune to biases and accepting this as another fact of life provides the opportunity for us to overcome the filters within us.

For years, my career was on the fast-track. I had consistently proven my technical abilities and was convinced that my hard work would suffice in getting me noticed as I approached upper management levels. My naiveté anchored me and it was not long before I found myself on an extended professional plateau. I watched helplessly as others raced up the corporate ladder while my career played in slow motion speed. When I inquired as to the reasons for the stall, the responses were without substance. “You’re on the cusp,” was a recurring theme conjuring vivid images of a barren and abandoned promontory where I watched the action from afar and from which I was unable to escape.

I needed to do something although it was unclear as to what exactly. But what was clear was that I was awakening from a fairy tale in which the heroine gets the prize through hard work alone. I’d like to say that I had a clearly defined plan but I would be lying. Instead, it was more desperation leading to motivation. Perhaps that is exactly the recipe for success. My leadership skills were suddenly put to the test in real time and I armed myself with courage as I took action. In retrospect, my experiences can be rolled up nicely into 3 steps that ultimately led to jump start my career.

1. Believe in yourself!

If you don’t believe in yourself, you’ve already lost the battle. This will be the single most important thing that will get you through any setback and help you up when you stumble. Self-doubt reflects like a neon sign. No one will take you seriously if you lack confidence. Most importantly, remain true to yourself. Never allow anyone to push you past that imaginary line in the sand beyond which you lose sight of yourself.

2. Be bold!

Mr. Nadella is just plain wrong. His advice has never been applicable in any era. Competition is fierce. Men are constantly seeking ways to stand out from the pack. Why would things be any different for women? Get your nose out of the grindstone and take risks. Leap outside your comfort zone and ask for those challenging assignments. Better yet, demand them. Have the courage to risk failure as it will only lead to growth and that gets you further along than through inaction.

3. Be discoverable!

Make your presence known. Women feel uncomfortable in touting our accomplishments and owning our success. This is our issue and we must overcome it. We risk having others see right through us when we sit quietly in the sidelines. Leadership is all about speaking out so let’s get used to it. Yes, go ahead and sit at the table, lean in, raise your hand, and never be afraid to proclaim “Enough!”

These are exciting times where change is in the air. But it takes all of us, collectively and individually, to achieve true gender balanced leadership. So believe in yourself, be bold, be discoverable, and never give up!

Each one of us has an imaginary line in the sand that we refuse to cross and I felt that I had allowed myself to be nudged over my threshold.

It is only in hindsight that I am able to share my lessons learned.

By Rossana G. D’Antonio, PE, GE

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The Formula for Selling Anybody, Anything, Anytime

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women salesHere’s the thing: sometimes we’re selling our ideas, sometimes we’re selling our products and, these days, many of us are selling ourselves as the best candidate for the job/as the person who deserves a promotion. With this in mind, here’s the proven formula for selling your best self to anybody, anywhere, anytime.

First: Yale University did a study of the 12 most persuasive words in the English language. What they discovered is that the most persuasive word in the English language is “you.” Consequently, I recommend throwing it around a lot: “As I’m sure you know,” “As I’m sure you’ve heard,” “I wanted to talk to you today,” etc.

Second: California-based Social Psychologist Ellen Langer revealed that there is one word in the English language that increases the possibility of cooperation from 60 to 94%. No, that is not a typo. I will repeat: 60 to 94%. This word is “Because.”

Lastly: “The Duncan Hines Cake Mix Marketing Theory.” When Duncan Hines first began making cake mix, the decision to have you at home add the egg was made in the marketing department. Why is this effective? Because they realized that when we add the egg we feel proud because we contributed; we can say, “I baked!” How does this work in a business scenario? You need to articulate how you can contribute to the other person’s success and/or how they can contribute to yours so that what is created becomes your shared success.

So that’s your formula: you + because + the egg = success.

Following are three different ways you can apply this formula for success

Talking to an Interviewer:

Too often we spend our interviewing time talking about why we are right for the job. This sounds a lot like, “And I just think this company would be perfect for me/would help me meet my goals.” No. What you need to be talking about is how you are going to contribute to your future boss’s/the company’s success once you are hired.

What might this sound like?

“I wanted to talk to you today because your job description/your company’s mission statement/your bestselling product is X, and my skill set/my personal passion/my sales experience is in Y. Applying the full force of my expertise to this job will enable us both to reach our goals.”

Talking to Your Boss about a Brewing “Situation”:

The use of the word “situation” here is quite deliberate. The White House doesn’t have a “Crisis Room,” they have a “Situation Room.” Likewise, you don’t have a crisis– you have a situation that needs to be resolved.

So, what would the formula for success sound like here?

“I wanted to bring a potential situation to your attention immediately because it requires expert attention. X has occurred and I have come up with the following two, possible solutions. Is there one that you prefer?”

In this instance, their egg is not as much the mention of their expert attention, but the opportunity you are giving them to apply that expertise to two possible resolution strategies. Having them to choose which they prefer (and tell you why it’s far better) not only allows them to add their egg, but to choose the temperature at which the solution is “baked.”

Talking to a Potential Target at a Networking event

Too many networking events are about what others can do for us, rather than what we can do for them. In my experience, however, the most successful networkers aren’t asking, “What can you do for me?” but “What can I do for you?” In this scenario, then, the formula would likely sound like this:

“Hello, I’m X,” (if your target is standing with another person, or in a group, introduce yourself to everyone present.) “I wanted to introduce myself because I know you are the visionary behind X idea/product/company, and I wanted to introduce you to Y/write about you in my newsletter/ask if I could help you organize your next charity event.”

As you can see, the offer doesn’t need to be huge — the fact that you made it at all is what helps you stand out. Leaving room for them to add the egg of their choice is what will ensure your successful connection.

Happy baking!

Guest Contribution by Frances Cole Jones

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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Navigating Primary Breadwinner Status: How to Rock the Boardroom and the House

business-race-women-and-men-in-officeFor the first time in history, 40 percent of American families are now helmed by a primary breadwinner woman. More women than ever before are struggling to balance both financial and emotional responsibility for the wellbeing of their families.

Despite our successes, women continue to face cultural and career challenges as we rise through the corporate ranks. Equal pay remains an issue even at the highest tiers of the corporate ladder, with a recent study by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research showing that female CEOs still earn just 80 percent of what their male counterparts earn.

Read more

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The Way You’re Coping With Stress Is Making It Worse: What You Should Do Instead to Build Your Resiliency

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women stressedOn a typical day, you’re most likely squeezing in three days worth of work. You have your scheduled work time consisting of meetings, servicing clients and customers, managing communications, and connecting with colleagues scattered around the globe. Your second workday consists of the one before, after and in-between. You get up early to get a jump on emails, you stay late to get work done, and you multitask during the day in an attempt to be as productive as possible. Your third workday begins when you leave the office. You have to pick up food for dinner on the way home, perhaps get the kids to practice, run a load of laundry and make sure the house hasn’t fallen apart. Before you go to bed you see the opportunity to get on your computer to get more work done. No wonder you’re completely stressed and exhausted by the end of the day!

You just need to find better ways to reduce or manage your stress, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, there’s no way to reduce your stress. Your job is never going to ask less of you, nor are your loved ones. The demands in your life will only continue to increase as you move up in your career and your personal life becomes more complex. In addition, stress is not just something that happens in your head. It’s a chemical, hormonal event that radically changes your chemistry and physiology.

The hormones released in response to stress can have many negative effects on your body and brain. As just one example, the stress hormone cortisol kills cells in the brain relating to memory, learning and goal setting. It’s responsible for insomnia. It makes you crave high-fat, high-sugar foods in large amounts, and to store a majority of it as fat, specifically around the midsection.

But the good news is, when we understand the physiology of the stress response, we can build our resiliency to stress. We can train our bodies to recover from stress more quickly and efficiently, as well as raise our threshold for stress. And if that’s not enough, resiliency training can also improve our health and help us lose body fat.

Up until now, many of the things you’re doing to cope with the stresses you’re facing are actually making things worse. You may skip meals and workouts, sacrifice sleep to get more work done, grab sweets or salty snacks, rev yourself up with caffeine and bring yourself down with alcohol. Here are four things you may be doing that are exacerbating your stress, along with tips to build your resiliency:

1. You sacrifice sleep to get things done.

It’s tempting to trade sleep for extra hours of productivity, but lack of sleep ramps up our sympathetic nervous system, pushing us in the direction of the stress response. Simultaneously, it makes the parasympathetic nervous system – which is related to restoring balance and calm — less effective. Sleep deprivation also increases body fat levels, specifically around the midsection. This abdominal fat is not only frustrating, it also increases our risk of diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and even premature death. Keep to a regular sleep and wake cycle, and aim to get between 7-9 hours each night. Sleep is one of the best tools we have for the body to recover from stress.

2. You drink caffeine to get energy and make up for lack of sleep.

In addition to increasing blood pressure, caffeine stimulates the release of the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. To make matters worse, caffeine has been shown to work synergistically with mental stress to further increase cortisol levels. From a stress perspective, cutting out caffeine is ideal. Why voluntarily pump more stress hormones into your body? If you choose to consume caffeine, do so in small amounts.

3. You skip meals because you’re too busy to eat.

When we skip meals or go too long without eating, blood glucose (a form of sugar the body uses for energy from many of the foods we eat) drops. When there’s not enough glucose, the body thinks a famine is occurring, the stress response is stimulated and the body secretes cortisol. This puts us into food seeking mode to get much needed energy into the body. Cortisol makes us eat large amounts of food containing fat and sugar, and to store much of this extra energy away in our fat cells for the next glucose emergency. Maintain blood glucose levels and minimize stress by eating about every 3 hours, alternating between moderate sized meals and small snacks.

4. You skip your workout because you don’t have time.

Stress hormones are specifically designed to fuel a short burst of intense physical activity – fighting or fleeing. When we do this, it burns them off and releases another class of hormones that restore balance and counteract the negative consequences of stress. The good news is just 30-60 seconds of intense exercise produces these feel good hormones. Sprint up a flight of stairs, or do a few jumping jacks or burpees. Worst-case scenario, do a few of these shorts bursts to hit the reset button on stress, or squeeze in a few minutes here and there. Exercise can be accumulated throughout the day in 10-minute bouts, which can be just as effective for improving fitness and decreasing body fat as exercising for 30 minutes straight.

For more strategies on how to build your resiliency to stress, read Jenny’s book The Resiliency rEvolution: Your Stress Solution for Life, 60 Seconds at a Time.

Jenny C. Evans is the author of THE RESILIENCY rEVOLUTION: Your Stress Solution For Life 60 Seconds at a Time (Wise Ink Creative Publishing; 2014). She is also founder and CEO of PowerHouse Performance, where she works with thousands of C-suite executives, leaders, and employees worldwide to help them improve their resilience, performance and productivity, while enhancing their health.

Guest advice and opinions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com

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How To Negotiate Effectively: A Winner’s Guide

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happy man with womenGuest Contribution by Molly Fletcher

For nearly two decades, I worked as one of the only female sports agents in the industry, negotiating contracts and marketing deals for a client list of top athletes, coaches and broadcasters.

I left my career as a sports agent to start my own company because I believed there were lessons I learned within the sports environment that could help people in the business world become more productive. One of those lessons—how to negotiate effectively—inspired my most recent book, A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done.

My advice applies to anyone who wants to be a good negotiator, but is geared specifically towards executive women. Research has shown that there is a social cost for negotiating that is statistically significant for women and not for men. Instead of examining all the complex reasons why that is the case, I focused on how women can be more effective when they enter their next negotiation.

Set the Stage

Setting the stage refers to gathering all types of hard data and marrying it with qualitative information to create a compelling case. When clear standards for negotiation exist, women actually negotiate at about the same rate and just as effectively as men—so the more data you can arm yourself with, the more confident you can be in your ask. It’s also about 360 degree awareness. You have to get clear on the goals, needs, gaps, values and fears of the other side. What do they value? How do they define success? Is this the right time to make the ask?

Add value

The best thing you can do to put yourself in a successful position to negotiate is to find ways to add value. Most negotiations don’t happen in one meeting. They are built over time, through conversations and relationships. The more you can do to add value to these partnerships, the higher your chance of success when you make your ask. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and determine what gaps exist and how you can be a solution.

Build relationships

Ask yourself, do I have someone within this organization who is willing to go to bat for me? Be intentional about building strong relationships and find someone who you can trust to advocate for you. Some of the most important conversations about your future happen when you aren’t present. Having a senior leader advocate for you is like having an agent negotiating on your behalf.

Be authentic

Too often, women feel pressured to become somebody else when it comes to negotiation. As I share in my book, effective negotiation isn’t a battle between wills, it’s a conversation between people. Approach the negotiation as you would an important conversation. People respond better to consistency and you will be more comfortable with the ebb and flow if you are in your own comfort zone. Use your own strengths to your advantage instead of copying what you perceive to be as the most effective negotiating styles.

The greater good

Research has also revealed that women who negotiate on behalf of others are generally perceived in a positive manner. That’s why it’s particularly important for women to take a big picture approach when negotiating on their own behalf. Frame up the negotiation from the “we” perspective. How is what you are asking for going to benefit the organization as a whole? How have you contributed in ways that have added overall value? The more you can get into the head and heart of the other side, the better you can frame up the conversation as a win-win. Demonstrate that you understand their perspective, and aren’t approaching this conversation from your own self-interest.

Why is negotiation so important for women? First, it’s a small but important piece in closing the wage gap. The importance of negotiation, however, goes beyond just money. When women don’t negotiate, they sacrifice more than just money. They sacrifice opportunity—for training, growth, leadership, recognition and promotions. It becomes a cycle, because in order to change the stereotypes and expectations about women negotiating, we must have women in leadership positions. This was a huge part of my motivation for writing my book—not just to inspire individuals to ask for what they want but to spark a greater conversation that leads to change.

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A mutually beneficial approach to engaging men to advance women

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Elegant leaderMuch of what I read about advancing women’s careers has been from the perspective of women. Although this is an important dialogue that we must continue, we are all—women and men—responsible for maintaining a diverse, inclusive culture. By bringing men—especially business leaders—into the conversation, we can reach the best possible solution, so that everyone walks away from the table feeling like they have gained something.

As part of my role at PwC, I lead a series of dialogues with our male leaders that aim not only to educate but also to provide a forum for talking candidly about the challenges they face as they work to strengthen the sense of inclusion our professionals feel in our firm. Bob Moritz, PwC’s chairman and senior partner, has set the tone at the top by prioritizing diversity and inclusion; creating lasting change, however, this requires that all our partners, principals and staff participate in bringing that vision to life.

We have made significant progress, but this journey requires patience, courage and the ability to communicate across differences. In a negotiation, when the parties stop communicating, the process can break down.

Before I delve into what men stand to gain from supporting the advancement of women, let’s take a look at a few ways communications can break down and what we can do about them:

1) Failed connections – In their recent New York Times article, “Speaking While Female,” Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant examined an unpleasant gender bias professional women often face during meetings: the risk of being interrupted and unheard (although a man saying the same thing will get nods of approval) or the risk of being disliked or considered too aggressive. For example, a male TV producer helped craft a solution (no interruptions during pitches) that made the entire team more effective. Had the suggestion come from a woman, it might also have gone unheard – thus highlighting the important role men can play in recognizing subtle biases and leveling the playing field for women, so all perspectives can be heard.

2) Fear of engagement – All too often, even well-meaning men don’t speak up for women because they fear making a mistake or being criticized. For example, some white males at PwC have voiced concerns about being automatically labeled “the bad guys” during diversity discussions. As another article by Adam Grant pointed out, individuals struggle to speak for or help groups with which they don’t identify. That changes once the individuals feel they have a vested interest. Helping men and women build stronger relationships and identify opportunities for mutual gain, such as through candid and collaborative dialogues, can be a big part of the solution.

3) Questioned intent – I’ve also heard from well-meaning men that they sometimes feel that women resist their efforts to reach out. Women either did not realize assistance was being offered or they wanted to prove they could do it on their own. We all need to be more attuned to those around us and give them the benefit of the doubt. And men may need to re-examine their approach to help make sure that it is respectful and authentic without the implication that men are here to solve women’s problems.

So with these potential pitfalls in mind, what do men (and the organizations they work for) stand to gain from stepping out of their comfort zone and helping advance women’s careers?

1) Enhanced leadership skills – Investing in relationships and building trust are key leadership skills. When men sponsor and mentor only those who look like them, they overlook important leadership opportunities and alienate potential allies. At PwC, we require our firm leaders to have had distinctive experiences working with diverse professionals, because we believe it will help them broaden their perspectives, while creating a more inclusive environment.

2) Financial success – Many organizations tie leaders’ salaries and promotions to the success of their unit or the overall organization. Several studies show that organizations perform better when women are well represented. PwC’s own research also demonstrates the critical importance of this issue. Bottom line: Diversity drives innovation—a necessity in today’s fast-changing business world. Moreover, when women feel leaders appreciate their contributions and are optimistic about their professional futures, employee engagement increases and turnover decreases—another win-win, particularly given the shortage of skilled talent.

3) Market relevance – In an increasingly complex and global business environment, the ability to work, manage and communicate with people who are different from you is an essential skill. A better understanding of the challenges for women in the workplace can improve men’s interactions with clients and other stakeholders, who increasingly expect cultural dexterity from service professionals. Men who can easily and effectively work and build bridges with diverse stakeholders create opportunities for themselves and their organizations.

4) Personal gain – Like women, many men are more than just business professionals – they are fathers, husbands, uncles and grandfathers. Research from Catalyst shows that gender equality provides significant personal benefits to men, including better health and enhanced relationships with your spouse or partner.

With a lot to gain and little to lose, all men, particularly the business world’s white male majority, need to join the conversation about advancing women. The launch of the HeForSheCampaign’s “10X10X10” initiative, for which PwC is a founding sponsor, at the World Economic Forum in Davos last month, should help take that conversation to a new level, but we as a society still have a long way to go to drive lasting change.

As I’ve learned in my discussions, this change won’t come naturally to all. Organizations need to create safe forums where both parties can share their perspectives and educate their people, because even the most well-intentioned individuals may have blind spots. Women can help bring men into diversity conversations by inviting male colleagues to participate in women’s networking events and encouraging them to act as “allies.” I also encourage my female colleagues at PwC to reach out to senior male colleagues to find common ground. We are often surprised by how much we share in common, and how much both mentors and mentees learn from each other’s differences.

If both men and women can hear each other out and be open to new perspectives, the result can be a winning proposition for everyone in the room.

By Chris Brassell

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