Tag Archive for: communication

The Key to Executive Presence: Emotional Intelligence

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leadership coachIn today’s complex business landscape, leadership is no longer just about making decisions or commanding authority. A vital component of successful leadership is executive presence—the ability to inspire confidence, project authority, and lead effectively. But at the core of executive presence lies a less tangible yet critical skill: emotional intelligence (EI). The ability to understand and manage emotions—both one’s own and those of others—plays a fundamental role in how leaders project gravitas, communicate, and connect with others.

In this article, we’ll explore why emotional intelligence is essential for executive presence and examine insights from prominent authors and researchers on the subject and share with you their work so that you can choose your own adventure on your own leadership development. If you are a leader who wants to work with one of theglasshammer.com’s executive or leadership coaches on this very topic of executive presence or gravitas- we have a range of professional coaches to choose from. Book here for an exploratory chat with Nicki our head coach and she can tell you more about pricing and who in the cadre would best suit your needs (and level).

What is Executive Presence?

Executive presence is often described as the combination of gravitas, communication skills, and appearance that enables a leader to command attention and influence others. Here are the academics and authors who have opined over the past twenty years on how to have executive presence and what it actually is since for many years, it was merely a thinly guised call for women to assimilate to legacy male behavior.

Sylvia Ann Hewlett, in her book “Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success,” defines executive presence as “the ability to project gravitas—confidence, poise under pressure, decisiveness; communication—speaking skills, assertiveness, and the ability to read an audience; and appearance.” While these elements are crucial, they are deeply influenced by a leader’s emotional intelligence.

Daniel Goleman, one of the foremost authorities on emotional intelligence, argues that leadership success is more about emotional intelligence than technical skills. In his seminal work, “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,” Goleman explains that emotionally intelligent leaders can manage their own emotions, navigate social complexities, and make better decisions. All of these skills are fundamental to projecting executive presence.

Goleman’s emotional intelligence framework comprises four domains and twelve competencies, which directly enhance executive presence:

  1. Self-awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your own emotions. Leaders who are self-aware can stay calm under pressure, a critical aspect of gravitas.
  2. Self-management: The ability to control or redirect disruptive emotions. This helps leaders project confidence and poise, even in challenging situations.
  3. Social awareness: Including the competencies of empathy and organizational awareness, it’s the ability to understand the emotions of others and reading the dynamics at play within groups. Empathy enhances communication and helps leaders build strong relationships.
  4. Relationship management: Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks. This is key to engaging stakeholders and influencing decisions.
Gravitas and Emotional Intelligence

Gravitas—the ability to command respect and inspire trust—is one of the most important elements of executive presence. However, true gravitas doesn’t come from being domineering or aloof. It comes from a place of self-assurance, empathy, and calmness, all of which are rooted in emotional intelligence.

Rebecca Newton, author of “Authentic Gravitas: Who Stands Out and Why,” highlights that authentic gravitas is about “the ability to lead and inspire others while remaining true to yourself.” This authenticity comes from emotional intelligence, particularly self-awareness and empathy. Leaders who are in tune with their emotions and those of others are better able to manage conflict, make thoughtful decisions, and create a sense of trust and stability—all hallmarks of gravitas. Theglasshammer.com endorses this source and is a book that is often recommended when we coach executives looking for some practical “how to” ideas as it doesn’t focus on superficial traits like power posturing or image management. Instead, Newton argues that true gravitas comes from within and is grounded in substance, credibility, and the ability to connect with others.

Key Themes:

  1. Gravitas Redefined: Newton redefines gravitas as the ability to be taken seriously, inspire trust, and influence others, not through dominance or authority, but through authenticity and meaningful contributions.
  2. Authenticity Over Image: The book emphasizes that authentic gravitas doesn’t come from mimicking traditional leadership traits or projecting a certain image. Instead, it is about being genuine, confident in your knowledge, and willing to listen and engage with others openly.
  3. Building Gravitas: The author outlines how leaders can develop gravitas by aligning their actions with their values, building emotional intelligence, and developing deeper expertise in their areas of focus.
  4. Connection and Credibility: Newton highlights that gravitas also involves the ability to build strong relationships and communicate effectively. Leaders with authentic gravitas engage with people at all levels, show empathy, and remain composed under pressure.
  5. Impact and Influence: True gravitas leads to lasting influence. Leaders who embody this trait inspire others, foster collaboration, and create environments where people are more willing to follow their guidance and vision.
Communication and Emotional Intelligence

Effective communication is another core pillar of executive presence. Leaders with strong emotional intelligence are better communicators because they can tailor their message to resonate with different audiences and navigate difficult conversations with ease.

Amy Cuddy, in her book “Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges,” emphasizes that leaders who exhibit presence communicate in a way that makes others feel understood and valued. Emotional intelligence enhances a leader’s ability to read the room, adapt their communication style, and respond with empathy—critical skills for projecting authority and trustworthiness.

Emotional intelligence also helps leaders master nonverbal communication, a key aspect of executive presence. Research by Carol Kinsey Goman, author of “The Silent Language of Leaders,” shows that emotionally intelligent leaders use body language effectively to project confidence, openness, and authority. Goman argues that “leaders who are aware of the nonverbal cues they send and how they align with their words are perceived as more authentic and trustworthy.”

Empathy and Connection

While gravitas and communication help leaders project authority, empathy is what enables them to connect with others. Executive presence is not just about being seen as capable; it’s about making others feel heard, understood, and respected. This is where emotional intelligence truly shines.

Emotional Intelligence as the Foundation of Executive Presence

While executive presence is often associated with outward behaviors—how one speaks, dresses, or carries themselves—its true foundation lies in emotional intelligence. Leaders who possess high emotional intelligence can project gravitas, communicate effectively, and connect with others on a deeper level. They are self-aware, empathetic, and composed under pressure, all of which are essential traits for cultivating executive presence. By cultivating emotional intelligence, leaders can develop a more authentic, impactful executive presence that resonates with others and drives lasting success.

By Nicki Gilmour, executive leadership coach and founder and CEO of theglasshammer.com

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5 Tips For Avoiding Miscommunication in the Workplace

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miscommunication, emails

By Guest Contributor

New research into communication in the workplace has revealed that 56% of all workers have committed some kind of miscommunication in the office (defined in the study as unintentionally sending a communication to the wrong person at work).

Communication is a key aspect of your everyday working life but, clearly, there is work to be done when trying to get your point across. Follow these five tips and minimize the likelihood of a misunderstanding in your office.

1. Use the best methods available

Alongside investigating how often miscommunication occurs in the workplace, TollFreeForwarding’s recent research uncovered the mediums with which it takes places.

Email was the chief culprit, with just over a third (34%) saying they’d sent an email to the wrong person when at work. Other platforms where regular miscommunication occurs include texts or instant messages (such as Whatsapp) at 22%.

Despite it probably being your go-to method for communicating in the office (269 billion are sent worldwide every day), email isn’t actually the most efficient way of communicating at work.

This is particularly true when communicating internally, so take a look at which platforms you predominantly use and look to give new ones a try. Try collaboration tools like Skype (which had a much lower 16% miscommunication rate in the survey) or Slack, which are designed for inter-team comms. You could even go a little old-fashioned and encourage more face-to-face communication. Some companies have incorporated tech-free office hours in a bid to encourage more verbal communication.

2. Know your data restrictions

Data compliance is everyone’s responsibility in business, but the research revealed how often information is leaked by employees. Almost a quarter (23%) of the workforce said they had sent some form of confidential information to the wrong person at work. Most of this was personal information about another colleague (13%), but that still leaves 10% of workers who have admitted to miscommunicating confidential business information. This can often be down to not applying the correct level of protection for your data, or simply using the wrong platform. Again, emails aren’t terribly secure, so communicating across them with confidential information can lead to disaster. Be extra vigilant with what you’re saying, who you’re saying it to and what medium you’re using to say it.

3. Separate work and personal communication

Methods for work and personal communication are often blurred. If using instant messaging to chat with others becomes the norm at home, chances are you’ll begin to adopt it in working life.

This does come with its own complications, particularly if you’re using the same device in both instances. Almost one in five (19%) said they’d left a voicemail on a colleague’s mobile phone that it wasn’t intended for, and just over one in five (21%) said they have accidentally sent a photo or video to a colleague.Depending on the content, this can be embarrassing for both the sender and receiver of these communications.

17% of workers said they had sent insulting comments to the wrong person by accident. The majority of these instances (10%) were comments about someone who wasn’t the receiver of the communication, but the remaining 7% admitted to accidentally sending insulting comments about the person who received it.

There are vastly different communicative expectations between work life and home life. Get it wrong, and this can lead to inappropriate content being sent to a colleague at work. To avoid the potential pitfalls, look to separate work and personal communication wherever possible. As an easy starter, pick up a cheap work mobile phone and don’t use your personal email address for any work-based communications.

4. Don’t be afraid to speak up

That last point should be applied as a general rule in your communicative habits. Bad communication at work happens – it’s a skill to get it right and sometimes we fail to hit the mark. This can lead to unwarranted stress, confusion, unclear strategies and missed deadlines.Sometimes, it can be daunting to approach your boss if you didn’t understand their instruction, but it’s a key part of avoiding miscommunication in the office. If in doubt, just ask.

5. Try something new

Like an earlier suggestion, you could choose to switch up your daily communication methods and attempt to loosen your reliance on technology. Frank, face-to-face conversation is always going to be the most efficient way to discuss workplace problems and bring about solutions. So, how can you incorporate more of it into your working day?
An alternative to the tech-free hour mentioned above is the “Scrum” or “Daily Standup”. This is essentially a brief, daily team meeting that gives everyone an opportunity to mention blockages and barriers to success. Issues can be addressed early at the start of the day and you can avoid a back-and-forth email exchange that can so easily be misinterpreted or ignored.

Where miscommunication occurs in the office

Alarmingly, throughout the research conducted, men were found to miscommunicate at work with much more regularity. In every aspect of miscommunication investigated in the survey, men were found to do it more.

Earlier, we said that 56% of workers had miscommunicated in the office – but break it down by gender and the story is different. 70% of men say they have miscommunicated in the office, compared to just 49% of women. The same is true of the method of communication. For example, 43% of men have accidentally sent an email to the wrong person at work – 12 percentage points higher than women.

As for the content of the communication, the trend continues. Over a third of men have accidentally sent some confidential information (35%), almost double that of women (18%). Similarly, more than a quarter of men (26%) have sent insulting comments to the wrong person at work – the same category is just 15% for women.

In summary, women are much better at avoiding miscommunication in the office than their male counterparts – but that too comes with its own risks. To boost productivity and avoid the embarrassing pitfalls of poor office communication, we’ll need to give and take instructions from both men and women. Following the tips above, and encouraging others to do the same, could lead to a decrease in the level of miscommunication we see today.

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Important Conversations at Work: Improving Communication Across Differences

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Guest contributed by Katherine Giscombe

At this contentious time in the United States, the rights of all women are under fire.

In spite of movements against sexual harassment that are gaining in popularity and support, such as #MeToo and TimesUp, there are factions within the country including lawmakers who actively oppose equal, fair and just treatment for women. And there has been an uptick in violence and harassment directed against racial minority groups, which have been condoned, and even spurred, by those in high political offices.

Boundaries between our work and personal lives continue to blur given the increasingly 24-hour a day expectations of employers, greater levels of virtual work, and increased workloads across industries. It becomes more difficult, over time, to not bring concerns about our lives outside of work into the workplace. The context of our lives affects our well-being and experiences at work, as shown in Catalyst’s research on the Emotional Tax, which demonstrates that a majority of women and men across racial/ethnic minority groups report feeling vigilant or on guard in the workplace, constantly preparing for the potential to deal with bias, discrimination, or exclusion.

It is vital for employees and associates to be able to engage with each other in a healthy manner, and develop mutual understanding even when they do not share similar backgrounds or experiences. Further, in the workplace, as research on career progression has shown, it is essential to develop relationships with allies and potential sponsors who can help progress one’s career. But doing so can be difficult among those from different backgrounds.

Catalyst has developed methods for reaching across differences to form meaningful connections at a personal level. It starts with understanding how communication among employees and associates can improve, and providing tactics to do so. In summary, reluctance to engaging across differences can fall into three major themes:

  • There isn’t a problem (attitudes about whether issues of gender, race, and ethnicity warrant concern)
  • There’s no benefit to talking (judgments about whether it’s worth the effort to discuss these issues)
  • There will be negative consequences to my actions (experiences that influence whether someone speaks up or remains silent).

Those who feel that there is not a problem may assume that race or gender differences don’t matter, because they believe they view women and men equally, and have no racial prejudice. A way to move beyond these beliefs is to ask one’s colleagues (of a diversity of genders and race/ethnicity groups) if they have ever experienced or witnessed biased behavior, and probe on what it looked like, what was verbally communicated. Further, they can ask whether colleagues of a different racial, ethnic, or cultural background feel that the workplace respects their identity and experiences.

Those who believe there is no benefit in talking may feel that race and ethnicity are not relevant in certain places, or that talking about our differences can only further divide us. Catalyst recommends asking colleagues a number of questions, including identifying times when discussing any type of difference has led to a positive outcome. Another suggestion is to identify “off-limits” issues— then discuss how not talking about these issues can derail inclusion.

Finally, the fear that there will be negative consequences to my actions is sometimes grounded in the fear of being labeled as overly sensitive, or the belief that it is not safe to speak up in the workplace. In these cases, Catalyst recommends that an employee ask a colleague for help in providing honest, constructive feedback, especially in cases where the employee uses words that are hurtful or offensive. Other advice includes asking a team member who has been silent during a meeting if he or she would like to contribute a different perspective.

In Catalyst’s workshops and consulting engagements, we sometimes use “ice breaker” exercises that build rapport across differences. One such example is a “pair share” in which each member of the pair names three identity groups he or she belongs to, including two visible elements of difference, and one invisible. Each person then takes turns sharing aspects of their identities. When sharing one’s identities, the speaker practices demonstrating vulnerability and self-disclosure. The listener, in turn, practices suspending judgment and inquiring across difference.

Going beyond building interpersonal connections at work, employees and associates can also co-create structures at work that encourage inclusion. This might entail forming an employee or associate resource group (ERG) for all women in the organization, that focuses on the many needs encompassed by women. In working with Catalyst’s supporter organizations, we sometimes see that women of color prefer to join an ERG that represents their racial/ethnic group, rather than the women’s groups. A good way to form alliances to get more done for all women would be for a women’s ERG to ensure that its officers represent a diversity of women within the company, and also represent the interests of a diversity of women.

Reaching across differences to form meaningful and robust working relationships can enhance our personal and professional lives, and provide a fortification of support during fraught times.

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Say It Like You Mean It: How to Communicate Effectively at Work

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Women SpeakingGuest contributed by Desiree Simons

You’ve worked hard to get where you are. You’ve earned your success because you’re not afraid of hard work. However, sometimes communicating with your male colleagues can seem like trying to put a puzzle together without all the pieces. The good news? There are skills you can learn that will help.

Most experts agree that women and men communicate differently but are quick to point out that one style is not better than the other. Diverse gender skill sets contribute to a better workplace, but adaptability, and knowing when to use a different approach can be a game changer for everybody.

Get to the Point

Women tell more backstory and narrative before getting to the point. Sometimes retelling how you got from point A to point B is not needed. Backstory is redundant if colleagues are familiar with the project.

Women also hedge and use qualifiers when speaking. For example, “Do you think, what if we, have you considered?” We are raised to be polite, but if something is not a question, don’t’ make it sound like a question. Instead of saying, “Would you mind, or Could you…” Instead say, “I’ll need that by… or Let’s plan for…” Men are used to speaking more directly. “We must….”, It’s important to understand…, and I’ll go over the final section…”

Beth Levine, SmartMouth Communications consultant and author of Jock Talk: 5 Communication Principles for Leaders as Exemplified by Legends of the Sports World, calls this “diminishing language,” and believes it causes peers (both male and female) to see women as less confident. Know your main idea and state it quickly to your listener. Some experts suggest creating bullet points in your mind before you go into a meeting. Stay clear of “tag language,” such as, “Isn’t it? Don’t you think? or Don’t you agree?” at the end of your statements. Levine also says women use the phrase, “I feel” too much at work. For example, “I don’t feel right about the proposed expansion.” Men typically say, “I think the proposed expansion will cause the following problems.” Say what you think, not what you feel.

Stand Your Ground

According to Danielle Lindner, adjunct professor of the Psychology of Women courses at Stetson University, “Women are socialized to be harmonizers and peacemakers.” They sometimes compromise rather than standing firm during a potential conflict situation. Standing your ground may result in not being liked by some co-workers, but Linda Henman, Ph.D., author of Challenge the Ordinary and Landing in the Executive Chair says, sometimes you have to forget about being liked. “Results, not harmony is the goal.”

Speak up in meetings, even if you risk being wrong. If people behave badly towards you, don’t assume it’s because you’re a woman. Don’t take a disagreement personally. Put it behind you and look for the next opportunity to showcase your skills.

Play to Your Strengths

Patricia Rossman, Chief Diversity Officer of BASF, a 100-year-old global chemical company acknowledges different gender communication styles but stresses the need for diversity and believes woman bring a unique and valuable skill set to the workplace.
Women tend to have a collaborative rather than a competitive approach to problem solving, as well as a kind of “emotional intelligence.” Rossman defines this as “looking for the deeper impact,” of interactions, decisions, and discussions. Others refer to it as a relational approach. Whatever you want to call it, women tend to be good at looking at the bigger picture.

Women also use and interpret nonverbal communication more than men. Noticing things like eye contact, body language, facial expressions… allow women to pick up vital clues.

The bottom line is simple. Be yourself but remember the most effective communicators know a variety of strategies and choose the best one for a given situation. If you do this, you’ll always say what you mean and mean what you say.

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How Speaking Out Can Help Release Pressure

Women Speaking
As Thomas Carlyle once said, “No pressure, no diamonds.”

Indeed, pressure plays a vital role in life. It serves as an obstacle, a challenge that forces each one of us to improve, develop, and grow.

However, when you let pressure pile up unchecked and unanswered, it will cease being a challenge and start being a real problem that will inevitably take its toll on your body and mind.

Work is one of the many pressure-riddled aspects in a woman’s life. Uncooperative colleagues, office politics, supplier mixups, and clients that are difficult to deal with are just some of the common problems they usually face at work.

When you let these pressure build up at work, it will lead to performance issues and productivity slumps that will significantly hurt your chances at going up the corporate ladder or even worse, ruin your career.

It’s Time To Take Charge

Stop letting work pressure push you around. Most of the time, the cause of work pressure can be effectively handled at the onset by speaking out. Read on and find out six benefits of speaking out that can help release pressure at work and even discover ways to fast track your career:

Clear Communication is Essential at Work

From fostering great relationship with family and friends to dealing with coworkers and clients, clear communication is essential. It removes ambiguity and makes sure everyone is on the same page.

Speaking out imposes clear communication. It allows everyone to learn of your intent, issues, and suggestions clearly, which can lead to better resolutions or a great outcome. This is critical especially at work since a smooth-flowing operation heavily relies on details.

To avoid pressure due to work-related mistakes and misunderstandings, don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to speak up.

Better Working Relationships

Sometimes, speaking out may mean you’re speaking for somebody else. Not everyone has the heart to speak out in fear of indirect backlash or being deemed brash and forceful by the people at the office. By speaking out, you’re effectively fostering a better work relationship with your colleagues. After all, friends make work a lot easier.

Some of the benefits of speaking out is how it injects a dose of confidence in your peers who are unable or unwilling to speak out for themselves. By being vocal about your thoughts, you’re subtly encouraging your work mates to speak out for themselves. The people at the office will eventually thank you, and love you, for it.

Great friendship and working relationship will help in reducing pressure in a significant way.

Respecting Yourself

Speaking out means you’re setting clear boundaries on what’s best for you, your career, and your health. Being honest is a great way to reassure yourself of the self-respect you deserve.

Remember, you can only handle so much. By speaking out and being honest about it, you’re boosting your self image, helping your career grow, and keeping your health from sliding down. Even better, speaking out makes people respect you. It’s one of the great benefits of communication at work. A person who knows his abilities, limitations and knows how to assert himself is a person that will be admired and respected by everybody.

Speaking out saves you from a self-imposed pressure brought by being silent.

Silence May Means ‘Yes’

Failing to speak up may lead to manipulative bosses and opportunistic colleagues who are assuming that you’re agreeing to what could be unreasonable demands and demeaning proposals.

By keeping your mouth shut, you’re allowing these people to have their way without any semblance of resistance, which may lead to them repeating their behavior over and over until your body can’t keep up anymore and your career suffers.

Speaking up puts a stop on their untoward work behavior and release pressure at work.

Show Passion and Concern

Speaking shows your passion and concern towards work. Speaking out shows that you care enough to voice out your thoughts on the matter at hand.

People who appreciate passion isn’t confined inside the four corners of the office, passion gets the attention of senior executives.

Passion speaks volumes, it shows in your actions and it resonates among colleagues. It motivates them.

Speaking up brings out this dormant passion out.

A big bonus: communicating clearly for faster promotion is definitely a great idea. Getting promoted will essentially handle most of your finance-related pressure as well. A win-win for you and your workplace.

Keep Everyone Informed

There are a lot of unnoticed work issues that requires a person empathic enough to speak out and alert everybody of the problem before it goes out of hand.

This maybe a faulty machine, an operations loophole, or ill-will among colleagues. By refusing to speak out, you’re effectively letting this problem continue until it becomes a costly and difficult situation to handle. Turning a blind eye will only incur grudge from people and might treat you like you’re the one who instigated the problem in the first place.

This kind of pressure is avoidable and something you don’t deserve.

Put an End to Work-related Pressure Once and For All
Most of the problems at work can be attributed to poor communication. By speaking out, you’re reducing pressure at work that can gnaw and haunt your career if you left it unaddressed. One of the benefits of communication at work is that it eases up the work process and keeps everyone on good terms at the same time. Keeping this up means you’re keeping the pressure down.

Considering that half of our lives will be spent at work and with workmates, it’s necessary that you deal with work-related problems and find ways to release pressure at work as soon as you can.

Speak out.

Let your voice be heard.

Let your intentions be known.

That’s how you achieve clear and effective communication.

That’s how you can release pressure.

Guest contributed by Jona Jones

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Perspective Taking: How to Utilize It & Benefit from It

Sad businesswomanDo you ever find it difficult to make a colleague see a point of view that to you seems obvious? Do you ever struggle through rounds of contentious negotiations in which a “meeting of the minds” seems impossible?

It could be that you are expressing yourself in a way that makes perfect sense to you, but not to those who you are trying to communicate with. Often someone involved with in-house dispute or adversarial negotiation cannot see the same solutions that a person standing outside the situation can. Sometimes it is necessary to consider a problem from a different vantage point.

Read more

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