For many professionals, the word “networking” sparks anxiety. The first thought is often, “What do I have to offer?” That fear is common, but it is also misplaced. Every one of us brings value to a conversation—whether it comes from professional experience, nonprofit involvement, or simply shared interests. The key is to shift your perspective: networking isn’t about proving your worth, it’s about finding common connections.

Start with Shared Ground

The easiest way to overcome networking anxiety is to say YES. If you’re invited to an event with a networking component, you already have something in common with everyone in the room—you all chose to be there. That shared context is a natural starting point.

Simple openers like “What brought you here today?” or “How are you connected to this event?” instantly create a bridge. From there, you can move into the basics—asking what someone does, where they went to school, or how they became involved in the topic at hand. It doesn’t take long to uncover people you know in common, whether separated by one degree or six. That realization alone is often enough to establish connection.

Build Relationships Not Transactions

At work, your “natural” network already exists—the colleagues you speak with regularly to get your job done. But true networking requires more than functional interactions. Instead of viewing these conversations as purely transactional, approach them as opportunities to build relationships.

Why does this matter?

• You may learn something new.
• You may identify ways to collaborate more closely in the future.
• And perhaps most importantly, those colleagues may become advocates for you when you are not in the room.

This kind of relational networking creates allies, not just contacts.

Expand into Adjacent Circles

Beyond your immediate circle lies your “adjacent network”—people in roles that intersect with, but are not identical to, yours. Building these connections offers two benefits:

1. It creates opportunities for collaboration and innovation.

2. It expands your sphere of influence within the organization.

Networking across these adjacent circles ensures that you’re not siloed. It positions you as someone who sees beyond your lane and values cross-functional insight.

Seek Inspiration and Learning

Finally, there is the “outer ring” of networking: people who inspire you, challenge your thinking, or offer perspectives you want to learn from. These individuals may not be immediately accessible, but reaching out to them can be transformative. Over time, relationships that begin with admiration can evolve into mentorship—and, for some, sponsorship.

The Accidental Network

I often describe my own network as “accidental.” In reality, it was strategically built without me realizing it. I wasn’t focused on collecting contacts. Instead, I was focused on impact. Building connections allowed me to expand my influence, which in turn created greater impact. The cycle fed itself: impact → influence → more impact.

Looking back, what seemed like casual conversations were actually the foundation of a powerful
network.

From Anxiety to Excitement

Instead of approaching networking with dread, approach it with curiosity. Who might you meet? What might you learn? What connection might spark unexpectedly?

The truth is simple: we all bring something to the table. Networking isn’t about rehearsed elevator pitches or forced interactions. It’s about shared ground, genuine curiosity, and the relationships that form when we take the time to connect.

So the next time networking makes you anxious, reframe it. Get excited about the possibilities—because you never know where one conversation might take you.

 

By: Tracy Castle-Newman, Founder of TCN Advisors, empowering businesses and individuals to achieve their full potentional through consulting, coaching and public speaking engagements.  With 35 years in Financial Services, spending over 28 at Morgan Stanley, she has built and led businesses that drove revenue growth, operational efficiency, and strategic innovation. Recognizing that talent is your most valuable asset, Tracy dedicated much of her career mentoring and developing the next generation of leaders, with an intentional focus on women. She is known for building like-minded communities and built the most successful community for female portfolio managers on Wall Street.

Tracy also coaches with the Evolved People team (owner of the theglasshammer).  If you wish to work with her, speak with Nicki Gilmour here.

(Guest Contribution: The opinions and views of guest contributions are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com)