By Cindy Krischer Goodman
The number of male managers who are uncomfortable mentoring women has more than tripled in 2018, with one in six male managers now hesitant to mentor a woman, a recent survey by the LeanIn.Org and SurveyMonkey found.
The survey results, considered a backlash from the wave of sexual harassment allegations known as the #MeToo movement, have sparked #MentorHer, a new campaign by LeanIn.Org. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of the nonprofit LeanIn.Org is calling for male managers to commit to mentoring women as a crucial component for equality in the workplace.
“We are at a pivotal moment,” Sandberg’s LeanIn.Org has announced. The #MentorHer campaign comes as the world celebrates International Women’s Day, a global celebration in March to celebrate the achievements of women. This year’s theme is a call to press forward and progress gender parity, a message Sandberg’s campaign embraces.
So far, Sandberg’s #MentorHer campaign has the backing of more than 38 prominent leaders and CEOs, including Disney’s Bob Iger, General Motors’ Mary Barra and Netflix’s Reed Hastings, who have committed to mentor women within their organizations.
The #MentorHer campaign is call to action to keep progress moving forward in advancing women to leadership positions. In a study on men who mentor women , The Harvard Business Review found receiving mentorship from senior males can increase compensation and career progress satisfaction for women, particularly for those working in male-dominated industries.
Why is Mentoring Important?
Maria Bailey, CEO of BSM Media, a 20-year-old social media and marketing firm, received mentoring from a half dozen male business leaders during her career. The mentoring, she said, helped her rise within the corporate environment of large public companies, and later succeed as a business owner.
“The best mentorships are based on shared values and professional chemistry,” Bailey said,
“Some men may be afraid now, but that will weed out people whose intention is not as strong in creating a mutually beneficial mentoring relationship. If a man really wants to help a woman grow her business or grow in her career, he will do that because great leaders are fearless leaders.”
Business executive Erin Knight, founder of a LeanIn Circle in Miami, said mentoring programs formed by corporations embolden female employees to become leaders but need protocols in place to encourage participation for both the mentor and the mentored. She comments, “I believe this will allow men to feel more comfortable participating.” At the same time, she said, “Women should continue to conduct themselves in a professional manner and seek the support of both males and females who share the same degree of integrity and professionalism.”
LeanIn.Org’s new survey findings on male hesitation to mentor females come as women already are underrepresented in most organizations, especially at senior levels. If fewer men mentor women, fewer women will rise to leadership, according to the organization’s findings.
On its website, LeanIn suggests men find at least one woman to mentor. Once identified, the organization advises the mentor to take give women specific input on the skills they need to build, give women skills-based feedback to improve their performances, put women’s names forward for stretch assignments, advocate for and open doors for women, and include women in opportunities to build valuable relationships.
Mentoring is on the Rise
Corporate mentoring is on the rise with about 71 percent of Fortune 500 companies offer mentoring programs to their employees, according to a study of workplace mentoring programs by Chronus, provider of talent and career development software. The study found the mentoring programs led to salary grade changes, higher retention rates and more promotions for the mentee and the mentor.
The benefits of mentoring are clear but evidence documented over the last ten years suggests sponsorship can be even more important because it entails people advocating for you as well as offering advice. Workplace experts consistently find mentorship and sponsorship play a key role in promotions and raises, stretch assignments and flexibility.
Unfortunately, women are 54% less likely to have a sponsor and 24% less likely to get advice from senior leaders, according to Lean In research.
The nonprofit has concluded that we all benefit when a colleague shows us the ropes and sponsors us for new opportunities; particularly when they’re more senior, as men often are.
What Stops Men from Mentoring Women?
The 2018 Lean In survey found half of male managers are “uncomfortable” working alone with a woman. According to a story we wrote in theglasshammer.com in 2013, the Center for Talent Innovation report named The Sponsor Effect, states that “senior men shy away from mentoring or sponsoring junior women because of assumptions about what that relationship entails. “
In a Harvard Business Review blog post, Sylvia Ann Hewlett, founding president and CEO of the Center for Talent Innovation, writes, “However, fear of being even suspected of an illicit sexual liaison causes 64 percent of senior men to pull back from one-on-one contact with junior women; conversely, for the same reason, 50 percent of junior women are hesitant to have one-on-one contact with senior men.”
How Can We Help Men Get Involved?
Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, Wharton professor and business book author, has a few ideas. In his LinkedIn article titled Men Are Afraid to Mentor Women, Grant said men should hold themselves (and each other) accountable for parity, such as including women in meal outings. He also suggests men avoid running from discomfort and talk to women about what makes them comfortable or uncomfortable. Lastly, he advises men to mentor women in small groups if they are terrified of one-on-one.
Richard Outram, CEO of Financial Acumen, a financial consulting and leadership development firm, said he has and will continue to mentor women. Outram, a former executive at Burger King Corp, Sunglass Hut International, PRC LLC and PricewaterhouseCoopers, believes men who understand the value of the male/female mentoring relationships will continue as well. He states, “It’s eye-opening at times to put yourself in a female’s shoes. Women and men are wired in different ways and we can learn from each other.”
Outram said while some men may be reluctant in the wake of the #MeToo movement, more corporations are making diversity a priority and comments,
“A lot of companies are putting structure and accountability around mentorships to ensure they continue to happen,” He continues, “I won’t say it’s critical for a female to have a male mentor to get to the C-suite. There are female superstars who have made it on their own. But there are a ton of egos in the workplace, so you want a mentor who will help you through the challenges and do it with the right mindset.”
Behaviors of the Incumbent Leaders and Their Effects on the Rest of Us.
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!The CEO Genome Project states that there are four behaviors that show up for senior leaders to set them apart.
A Genome project on anything is fascinating to me as it of course only can replicate on what went before and I am interested in futurism in conjunction with historical trends. Why? because otherwise from day dot until the end of time, we are going to have to live in denial that the legacy masculine trait data is skewing the potential of women and ironically modern evolved man. Why no one has really dwelled on this is a bit of mystery to me, or is it a conscious or unconscious omission? If we only talk about how old testosterone straight white American men have led, how do we expect women or other men who naturally are or aspire to not fit the mould of the stereotype?
The effect of us bowing to the patriarchy is serious. Lewinian Theory ( the foundation of organizational psychology and systems thinking) suggests that behavior is a function of our personality and the environment we are operating in. In real life, just about all of us can point to a female leader who has assimilated to what I like to call “Jack Welsh in a skirt” mode and with disastrous results for her and most who have to be part of that team. Yet, to punish that individual is to misunderstand the systemic forces and rewards that are real and active as long as the masculine trait pattern of leadership is considered the only one, or the superior one.
I have zero interest in stereotyping men into one group. I think there are amazing men out there but they too are subject to systemic forces that make them behaviorally choose (albeit consciously) to be people that given other conditions, they might not be.
This work is the key to Diversity. Diversity is culture work, it is not Noah’s Ark and until companies truly view it this way, there are only strategies to provide not real change to achieve.
So, in the meantime, if you want to navigate your career optimally and authentically, consider working with a coach who can help you.
Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com or nicki@evolvedpeople.com for a free 15 mins exploratory session.
Voice of Experience: Kimberly Hendry, Director of Global Operations, Corporate Payments at WEX
Voices of Experience“I wish I had learned earlier in my career not to take things personally as it can create obstacles in your day-to-day interactions and detracts from your overall work experience,” says WEX’ Kimberly Hendry.
“I have realized I wasted a lot of energy getting frustrated by things that weren’t being done to offend me. I have come to learn it is just business.”
Over the past few years she has concentrated on honing her skills in initiating difficult conversations, whether it’s letting someone go or helping to address team conflict. “You have to be willing to push through, and it’s important to remember that it’s probably not going to be as hard as you think it is, and ultimately you’ll be glad you had the conversation when it’s over.”
That attitude and acumen for tackling tough situations has propelled her through her upward rise in the fields of risk management and payments.
Setting the Groundwork for the International Stage
After graduating from college, Hendry held a variety of roles, primarily in management and operations, in industries ranging from banking to investments to public utilities. While her work took her from Boston to Phoenix, her home state of Maine called her back in 2007, and she returned there through a job at WEX. She started in risk management roles when the company was small – just the bank with no international subsidiaries – and her career has grown exponentially as WEX has.
Along the way she has managed a variety of components of risk. For the past two years, she has overseen a direct line of business’ global operations, rather than working across lines of businesses, a different role in that her teams are responsible for the day-to-day functions of client relationships. Now, she manages far-flung teams in London, Melbourne and Singapore, among other global locales.
“My career at WEX has been amazing in that I can grow globally and manage teams outside the United States with all the challenge and opportunities that presents,” she says. Coincidentally, it’s a position she had intended to hold even as a teen: As she perused her high school yearbook recently, she noticed that she had listed “international business” as one of her goals. “I can truly say, ‘mission accomplished,’” she says, given WEX’ international reach.
One of the achievements she is most proud of so far is also internationally related: In 2014 she worked in the U.K. for seven months setting up a joint venture between WEX Europe Services and Radius Payment Solutions Ltd. Highlights were taking over the European ExxonMobil card program and setting up a risk management division.
Currently, Hendry is immersed with integrating a family-owned business WEX acquired in the fall. While she’s “built and fixed a lot of things” over the years, she notes how different it is to help move staff into her organization – tapping into a different range of skill sets in order to address divergent operational cultures and the impact it has on the new staff to be brought onboard. “We have to focus on the success of both the financial product and the people piece simultaneously,” she says.
Looking more broadly at industry trends, another constant goal is working to help WEX address how to increasingly move to a closed loop network, improving margins by reducing the number of middle men.
Taking a Moment to Appreciate Success as Part of an Integrated Life
While the highly technical field of risk and payments can sometimes be intimidating to women, she has found it to be an excellent place to build a career, provided you are comfortable knowing you will largely operate in a male-dominated environment. For example, she says it’s not uncommon to be the only woman at a group of 30 people at a business dinner. “You will often be outnumbered, but that’s ok; you just have to be confident in who you are and what you bring to the table.”
On that note, she urges women in her position to never neglect to appreciate their accomplishments. She reminds herself often, in fact, to stop and enjoy where she is, the fruits of her labor and the road it took to get there.
“Women are frequently so focused on what’s next – how to advance and where you need to develop – that we don’t take the time to enjoy what we have accomplished,” Hendry points out. “While the next steps may be important, we shouldn’t become fixated on them at the expense of what we’ve already accomplished. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.”
As a wife and mom to two boys, ages 15 and 12, she relishes family time and being outside – whether it’s hiking with her dog in the woods, skiing or running marathons and half marathons. They cherish their travel time together and she integrates history whenever possible, for example, sneaking in an event called “Tea with Eleanor” last summer when the family visited Campobello Island, where Franklin Delano Roosevelt used to spend time with his family. As Hendry says, “my boys may not appreciate the history lessons now but hopefully some day they will.”
Workplaces that Work for Women: Experiences Matter – The 2018 Catalyst Awards
Career Advice, NewsMy takeaway from the 2018 Catalyst Awards and Dinner is that owning your experiences is the first step and the second step is to not let them negate other people’s experiences if you are truly going to be a man or a woman who is going to see progress in our lifetime for gender equity.
Catalyst, the oldest and leading research and advisory nonprofit organization for advancing women at work, has a conference that is second to none for translating theory and research into practice with CEOs of major companies and theglasshammer.com was honored to attend the annual conference.
‘Workplaces that work for women, are workplaces that work for everyone’ was the theme and mantra of the day, with great companies getting to share some of the best practices that they have implemented to understand results beyond the rhetoric. And, the sub theme of the day was how to be a male ally or gender champion as men in the room spoke of how they wanted to see change. A stunningly sincere and impactful dinner speech by Carnival Corporation (Cruise Lines) CEO Arnold W. Donald, the dinner chair of the gala, created a genuine sense that some men really get it. Quoting Maya Angelou saying “When you know better, you do better” regarding gender equality and diversity. Mr. Donald spoke of his own experiences as a man of color while acknowledging humbly and implicitly that he knows experience does not in itself equal enlightenment; although for me, he was the most enlightened man of the day. It is so important to hear people and more importantly men to acknowledge that other people may individually or systemically due to their social identity (gender, ethnicity, orientation, nationality) have experiences that are not yours and that does not invalidate yours or theirs. I heard this man recognize his male privilege in a way which showed me real commitment to being an ally because his foundation was one of acceptance, not denial around his own gender’s historic position at work.
Deborah Gillis, President and CEO of Catalyst spoke at lunch regarding this topic of “how to” be a male ally or champion of women, advising the confrontation of the fact the level playing field has not always been there, and how men can “call it out” when everyone’s voices are not being heard.
She stated that Catalyst wanted to send out a beacon of hope in this watershed moment of #Metoo. She asked rhetorically, “How can we focus (on work), if we don’t feel safe?” and later in breakout sessions, Hilton panelist Laura Fuentes, SVP, Talent & Rewards, and People Analytics reiterated the need for psychological safety. Fuentes commented that behaviorial data was part of the ongoing evaluation and development process for managers which created an accountability to those who they lead and to the values and culture of the firm.
This method of actually measuring opinion and perception was also discussed by panelists from West Monroe Partners who took steps to formalize policy and communicate it in their firm. They did this so that perceived cultural norms such as time off and flexibility could be used positively and inclusively for all and equally implicit negative norms could be addressed also. Betsy Bagley, Senior Director and Consultant, Advisory Services, Catalyst and Katherine Giscombe, PhD, Vice President and Women of Color Practitioner, Advisory Services, Catalyst skillfully moderated this discussion around what actually can be done to create better workplaces for women with an organizational model worth checking out in Catalyst resource section.
Carla Harris, Vice Chairman, Managing Director and Senior Client Advisor at Morgan Stanley led a superb closing session with her usual candid and engaging style, opening with, “we cannot manage, the way we were managed”.
Harris explained first how to get to management and the important difference between performance and relationship currency. In her “pearls” (of wisdom) session, she explained how sponsors do not need to know the good, the bad and ugly, but rather, “the good, the good and the good”. She advised women and men in the audience to understand that performance currency has diminishing returns, as the baseline is always to do a great job but to understand that over time people come to expect excellence from you. She stressed the importance of relationship currency in the advancement formula. She also stressed the importance of improvement via feedback saying, “data is your friend, you cannot fix it, if you don’t know its broken.”
Regarding leadership and change regarding diversity, Harris stated, “I cannot believe that three decades later, we are still talking about the business case for diversity. If you still aren’t clear,” she quipped, “I will tell you right now” and went on to explain that it’s about innovation and to innovate you need a lot of perspectives and that comes from multiple experiences and that experiences are born from having different people in your team.
Harris explained that people need to be courageous in soliciting other people’s opinion and that the trait of courageousness is needed for intentionality to happen for change with accountability and consistency present.
The initiatives that were recognized this year were The Boston Consulting Group with their Women@BCG, IBM with Leading the Cognitive Era Powered by the Global Advancement of Women, Nationwide with Our Associates’ Success Drives Business Success and Northrop Grumman Corporation with Building the Best Culture, Leveraging the Power of Women.
Great work, Catalyst! And good luck to Deborah Gillis in her new role.
Becoming a Great Leader: Managing Conflict in Teams
Career Advice, LeadershipGuest contributed by CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke
Let’s face it: Most of us hate conflict. Even the toughest among us are at least a little uncomfortable with it. When faced with it, many leaders and executives tend to opt out.
But, here’s the truth: The best and most creative solutions often happen when people opt in to conflict. Not an all-out brawl or a name calling wrestling match, but a quality sharing of how we really feel about a decision or an issue. To do this a leader must create optimal conditions and their job isn’t to have the right answer, but to create the space for the project, team, or organization to wrestle together to collaboratively come up with an answer and move forward.
Our decade and a half of experience working with teams shows that when even one person listens to and reflects on the opposing opinion of a peer with genuine curiosity, the change in the room is palpable. That combination of vision, opinion, and passion, when combined with curiosity, leads the entire team to new possibilities. That’s the role of a healthy dose of curiosity.
Too often a leader unwittingly defuses the tension by determining the right answer, Maybe you have as a leader or have seen leaders cutting off discussion and taking things off-line when people get too emotional or listening to the loudest or the favorite voice, the one whose thoughts are usually the same as the leader’s.
The Value of Vulnerability and Curiosity
When teams are vulnerable and curious, they use the natural energy of conflict and discover that it isn’t my way or your way, but a whole new way. New ideas emerge. Instead of a fight, there is magic.
It starts with people opting in, becoming vulnerable, and revealing what they really think, feel, and want. This allows for a free flow of opinions which can be more or less judgmental but if combined with curiosity, not righteousness or defensiveness) can use the energy of conflict to become a smarter and highly innovative team.
We’ve seen it time and time again in our work. Teams that master the use of vulnerability and curiosity produce creative and innovative solutions not just once, but over and over again. They are more resilient and they bounce back from setbacks and failure. People on these teams feel engaged and fulfilled, and they have more fun. Just an aside: It’s probably no surprise that vulnerability and curiosity work wonders in personal relationships too.
Either of these qualities can instantly transform a team in conflict. Put them together and teams make quantum leaps forward. It only takes one individual to make a difference.
And, remember that you don’t have to let go of your judgments or opinions. Curiosity means having your judgments and being open and interested in a different perspective. Being curious means considering that there may be more than one right way, reality, or answer.
Stopping the fight for your right way and being open to the ideas of others and taking an interest in how the other person came to his or her conclusion. Listening with the willingness to be influenced via an open mind.
Some helpful phrases that help demonstrate curiosity and elicit another’s response are:
So, want to transform your team? Here’s how:
The benefits of being curious include getting outside of your own story, which opens a greater pool of information to generate creative ideas. This can strengthen the team’s learning and growth.
Making the other person feel heard and considered can shift the energy from defense to cooperation, opening the door to new, creative possibilities and therefore transitioning the focus of the team from power struggles to idea expansion.
About the author
CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are business consultants, speakers, and co-authors of The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team’s Competitive Advantage (November 1, 2017).
They and their organization, specialize in helping professional women, leaders, teams and entire companies learn how to transform conflict into creativity and innovation.
Many thanks
Disclaimer: The views and opinions of Guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com
Productivity – Is It All About Prioritizing to Feel Good at the End of the Week?
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!We all have tasks within our job that we like better than others, and most of us have some level of procrastination ability with the tasks we like less.
So, I use a system that works for me and it may work for you depending on several factors including how you think, learn and approach work as discussed in our “Do you know how you learn” career tip
I like to write down on a Monday morning all the things I need to do this week and then I assign priority- one being needs to happen ( like this weekly career tip column), to sales work (which I quantify by how many people I will talk to in a week), to admin and even life admin. Some things have a two, three, four or five assigned to them. If I get through all my ones, and half of my twos then by the end of the week I feel a sense of achievement and can have a reward of some kind. Possibly because I score very low on hedonism on the Hogan personality test this works for me and I can understand how other people would not like this feeling but the point is, there are ways to know yourself and get a system that works for you.
The next week I look back at the same list and ensure things dont stay low ranked. Even if it’s something I hate doing, I commit to making it a one within 3 -4 weeks( if that works for whatever the task is).
Have a go! It might help.
If you would like to figure out more about how you optimally work, Nicki is a qualified organizational psychologist and Exec coach. Contact nicki@theglasshammer.com or nicki@evolvedpeople.com for a free 15 mins exploratory session.
Voice of Experience: Elizabeth Martin, Partner, Goldman Sachs
Voices of ExperienceBy Cathie Ericson
“You have to be the author of your own path, and realize that you are going to do your best work when you are passionate about your goal,” says Goldman Sachs’ Elizabeth Martin.
Throughout her career, she tended to take career risks by shifting towards emerging problems or business trends versus following the more traditional banking path that had been successful for her predecessors. “It’s about ensuring you can make yourself relevant as the markets change, so you can maintain your career trajectory.”
Building a Career on Variety and Risk Taking
Martin joined Goldman Sachs in 2000 as a lateral hire from a different bank. “It felt like a big risk to change jobs, but I wasn’t being stretched in my first analyst role. I wasn’t learning from my manager and colleagues,” she says, adding that she realized early on that if your manager is not invested in advancing your career, you’re wasting time. “Since that point, I’ve recognized the importance of working for people who see your success as a measure of their personal and commercial success as well.”
Martin got her job in what you might call “the old-fashioned way,” passing out her resume on the trading floor at Goldman Sachs’ New York headquarters. Proving that even previous managers can be sponsors throughout your career, she was offered a role after receiving a review from her boss at a past internship with a competitor of Goldman Sachs.
For eight years, Martin worked in derivatives trading, a role she loved because derivatives give you the ability to constantly innovate solutions to new challenges facing clients. “Some women shy away from trading roles because they don’t see role models in the seats,” she says. But she notes, “Trading is about becoming an expert in how to value an asset and predict how the price may change over time. It’s a job that facilitates a huge amount of freedom to learn about different markets, asset classes, and emerging global trends, and also trains you in how to take calculated risks in life and in your career.”
During the financial crisis, her experience with derivatives and emerging financial regulations led her to shift to working alongside senior leaders to identify and implement a forward-looking strategy to address changes in the operating environment. She enjoyed being in strategy, where she had a seat at the table in adapting the business model to maintain a market leading position for their Equities business. The role also allowed her to engage with people across all divisions of the firm. “Investing in a broad network is critically important to your career. You make better and faster decisions if you have a broad set of perspectives upon which to draw.”
Two years ago, Martin joined Goldman Sachs’ electronic trading business, where the firm uses technology and quantitative analysis to decide when and where to trade a stock. When an opportunity arose to move to London last year, she jumped at the chance to work and live internationally.
Her career at Goldman Sachs has been varied – from New York to London, with roles in trading, derivatives, management and execution. “If you embrace change, Goldman is a great place to have a career,” she says.
Managing through Change in your Career and Life
The changes continue today: Like every other industry, the use of technology and data has altered the role of Goldman Sachs in the markets. Increasingly, trading occurs through a global network that connects clients to the firm and to marketplaces all over the world. She explains that technology has also allowed Goldman’s clients to reach places where they do not have a physical location – a game changer in accessing new markets around the world.
Martin notes that following the introduction of MiFID II, Europe has gone through “some of the most transformative market regulations in history,” and the result has been large investments in equities and electronic trading to ensure they earn the trust of clients to provide the best possible experience when executing trades at Goldman Sachs. “Markets change all the time. We never have a lack of interesting, global, technical problems to solve.”
Just like the markets have changed, so did what Martin wanted from Goldman Sachs throughout her career. “At the beginning of my career, I was more focused on short-term milestones, like the performance of my business that month,” Martin says, “but over time, I learned that what I really cared about was the cumulative impact in my life – my career is an important aspect of my life but not my only priority.”
Making partner was one of her greatest achievements “because it recognized my contributions to the firm over my career, but also because it happened just after I had three amazing daughters in five years. I’m very passionate about my career and my family.”
Martin also knows the value of a family who supports her career. “Having a partner who is empathetic to the challenges of working women and fully supports my ambitions… even if that means he needs to take a share of school drop offs…has certainly been a key ingredient in striking some balance in my life.”
A result of her childhood outside of Boston, her favorite way to spend family time is skiing, particularly now that the Martin family can venture across Europe. “Most of my favorite childhood memories are skiing with my family. Exploring the mountains with my kids is exhilarating.”
Mentoring Professional Women at Work while Navigating Sexual Politics
Career Advice, Mentors and Sponsors, Office PoliticsBy Cindy Krischer Goodman
The number of male managers who are uncomfortable mentoring women has more than tripled in 2018, with one in six male managers now hesitant to mentor a woman, a recent survey by the LeanIn.Org and SurveyMonkey found.
The survey results, considered a backlash from the wave of sexual harassment allegations known as the #MeToo movement, have sparked #MentorHer, a new campaign by LeanIn.Org. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and founder of the nonprofit LeanIn.Org is calling for male managers to commit to mentoring women as a crucial component for equality in the workplace.
“We are at a pivotal moment,” Sandberg’s LeanIn.Org has announced. The #MentorHer campaign comes as the world celebrates International Women’s Day, a global celebration in March to celebrate the achievements of women. This year’s theme is a call to press forward and progress gender parity, a message Sandberg’s campaign embraces.
So far, Sandberg’s #MentorHer campaign has the backing of more than 38 prominent leaders and CEOs, including Disney’s Bob Iger, General Motors’ Mary Barra and Netflix’s Reed Hastings, who have committed to mentor women within their organizations.
The #MentorHer campaign is call to action to keep progress moving forward in advancing women to leadership positions. In a study on men who mentor women , The Harvard Business Review found receiving mentorship from senior males can increase compensation and career progress satisfaction for women, particularly for those working in male-dominated industries.
Why is Mentoring Important?
Maria Bailey, CEO of BSM Media, a 20-year-old social media and marketing firm, received mentoring from a half dozen male business leaders during her career. The mentoring, she said, helped her rise within the corporate environment of large public companies, and later succeed as a business owner.
“The best mentorships are based on shared values and professional chemistry,” Bailey said,
“Some men may be afraid now, but that will weed out people whose intention is not as strong in creating a mutually beneficial mentoring relationship. If a man really wants to help a woman grow her business or grow in her career, he will do that because great leaders are fearless leaders.”
Business executive Erin Knight, founder of a LeanIn Circle in Miami, said mentoring programs formed by corporations embolden female employees to become leaders but need protocols in place to encourage participation for both the mentor and the mentored. She comments, “I believe this will allow men to feel more comfortable participating.” At the same time, she said, “Women should continue to conduct themselves in a professional manner and seek the support of both males and females who share the same degree of integrity and professionalism.”
LeanIn.Org’s new survey findings on male hesitation to mentor females come as women already are underrepresented in most organizations, especially at senior levels. If fewer men mentor women, fewer women will rise to leadership, according to the organization’s findings.
On its website, LeanIn suggests men find at least one woman to mentor. Once identified, the organization advises the mentor to take give women specific input on the skills they need to build, give women skills-based feedback to improve their performances, put women’s names forward for stretch assignments, advocate for and open doors for women, and include women in opportunities to build valuable relationships.
Mentoring is on the Rise
Corporate mentoring is on the rise with about 71 percent of Fortune 500 companies offer mentoring programs to their employees, according to a study of workplace mentoring programs by Chronus, provider of talent and career development software. The study found the mentoring programs led to salary grade changes, higher retention rates and more promotions for the mentee and the mentor.
The benefits of mentoring are clear but evidence documented over the last ten years suggests sponsorship can be even more important because it entails people advocating for you as well as offering advice. Workplace experts consistently find mentorship and sponsorship play a key role in promotions and raises, stretch assignments and flexibility.
Unfortunately, women are 54% less likely to have a sponsor and 24% less likely to get advice from senior leaders, according to Lean In research.
The nonprofit has concluded that we all benefit when a colleague shows us the ropes and sponsors us for new opportunities; particularly when they’re more senior, as men often are.
What Stops Men from Mentoring Women?
The 2018 Lean In survey found half of male managers are “uncomfortable” working alone with a woman. According to a story we wrote in theglasshammer.com in 2013, the Center for Talent Innovation report named The Sponsor Effect, states that “senior men shy away from mentoring or sponsoring junior women because of assumptions about what that relationship entails. “
In a Harvard Business Review blog post, Sylvia Ann Hewlett, founding president and CEO of the Center for Talent Innovation, writes, “However, fear of being even suspected of an illicit sexual liaison causes 64 percent of senior men to pull back from one-on-one contact with junior women; conversely, for the same reason, 50 percent of junior women are hesitant to have one-on-one contact with senior men.”
How Can We Help Men Get Involved?
Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, Wharton professor and business book author, has a few ideas. In his LinkedIn article titled Men Are Afraid to Mentor Women, Grant said men should hold themselves (and each other) accountable for parity, such as including women in meal outings. He also suggests men avoid running from discomfort and talk to women about what makes them comfortable or uncomfortable. Lastly, he advises men to mentor women in small groups if they are terrified of one-on-one.
Richard Outram, CEO of Financial Acumen, a financial consulting and leadership development firm, said he has and will continue to mentor women. Outram, a former executive at Burger King Corp, Sunglass Hut International, PRC LLC and PricewaterhouseCoopers, believes men who understand the value of the male/female mentoring relationships will continue as well. He states, “It’s eye-opening at times to put yourself in a female’s shoes. Women and men are wired in different ways and we can learn from each other.”
Outram said while some men may be reluctant in the wake of the #MeToo movement, more corporations are making diversity a priority and comments,
“A lot of companies are putting structure and accountability around mentorships to ensure they continue to happen,” He continues, “I won’t say it’s critical for a female to have a male mentor to get to the C-suite. There are female superstars who have made it on their own. But there are a ton of egos in the workplace, so you want a mentor who will help you through the challenges and do it with the right mindset.”
Opening Spaces to Value Women’s Voices: For Ourselves and Each Other
Career Advice, Guest ContributionGuest Contributed by Ilene C. Wasserman Ph.D
“I would like to think that things have changed for women at the workplace, but just when I let my guard down, I am reminded of the vestiges of the old patterns.”
Often, while working with senior executive women, I inevitably hear about the challenges of measuring up – of adhering to the standards that seem to be differently applied to men versus women. While ostensibly, conditions and opportunities have improved for women, the frequency intensity and amount of such comments seems to be on the rise. Some of what I am hearing includes:
For decades, my colleagues and I have listened to this pattern of gender dynamic in meetings. More recently, the research that is documenting this pattern and the impact that it has on collaboration and productivity at the workplace as well as new words that are being used to describe these behaviors is gaining attention in the popular press.
Professor Victoria Brescoll from Yale University asked professional men and women to evaluate the competence of executives based on who spoke more often. Men who spoke more often than their peers were rated 10 percent higher. However, when women spoke more than their peers, they were rated 14 percent lower. As noted by Adam Grant and Sheryl Sandberg in a piece they wrote for the NYT January 12, 2015: Speaking While Female “women who worry that talking too much will cause them to be disliked are not paranoid; they are often right”.
Tali Mendleberg, from Princeton University goes on to say that while women may be confident in their views, “they’re not confident that what they have to say is valued, and that in turn shapes how willing they are to speak, and what is discussed.”
Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant are joining their voices on a regular basis to call attention to these and other issues of relationships at the workplace.
The pattern of “speaking while female” has consequences beyond the muffling of one person; rather it results in organizations and public forums missing out on a group of key contributors. It is critical that, together, we notice these patterns and be intentional about making changes such that all voices are heard.
In our book: Communicating Possibilities, we offer specific steps for noticing patterns using the acronym NOREN. NOREN stands for (1) Noticing, (2) Observing, (3) Reflecting, (4) Engaging, and (5) Noticing (Again). In this case, how might we NOTICE when some people are speaking more than others while others are being talked over? In another blog, I wrote about micro-inclusions. A micro-inclusion is an act of stepping up and calling attention to the pattern of a man’s re-statement of a comment previously made by women is acknowledged in a way that links backs to and acknowledges the initial contribution.
OBSERVING is the active process of looking at how I, we and the organization might miss out on the contributions of some who are either talked over, interrupted, or who may be silencing themselves due to being less confident in the value of their ideas or are concerned about the consequences of asserting their voices.
REFLECTING is the ongoing process of taking what we notice, and consider what we might do, interpersonally, on teams and as a whole organization to create new patterns that are affirming and inviting.
ENGAGING differently – taking leadership to break the pattern and create openings and be an ally, by intervening interpersonally in a conversation or meeting, or structurally by initiating forms of contributing that mitigate barriers to contributing, and,
NOTICING AGAIN what we are creating together. How do we enact changes that are affirming, inviting and hopefully enable all people to see what they have to gain by enhancing the fullest contribution of women and other marginalized voices?
Change is a coordinated effort. We as women can do our part in noticing how we inhibit and silence ourselves. AND women need allies with each other as well as with our male counterparts to notice these patterns and enact new ways of listening, hearing and acknowledging each other to create new and better patterns of collaboration.
Ilene Wasserman, President of ICW Consulting Group is the author of Communicating Possibilities: A Brief Introduction to the Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM). She is passionate about helping her clients see the opportunities in diversity.
Disclaimer: The opinions and views of guest contributors are not necessarily those of theglasshammer.com
Are You Being Sustainable? Avoid Burnout and Disengagement at Work
Career Advice, Career Tip of the Week!Let’s talk about stress. We all have it, but it’s how we deal with it that matters.
Days can go past very quickly and the news cycle and social media only provokes our limbic reactions further. Are you getting good quality sleep? Are you actually benefitting from exercise or wearing yourself out? How is your stress level affecting your socio- emotional competencies at work? Or, in plain English, are you leading and managing less optimally than you could? Are your clients getting the best from you? Are you feeling mentally good about saying yes and saying no in the right ratio? What toll is it taking on your personal life?
Dr Karen Wilson and myself have developed a coaching program for high (insecure) achievers who say yes and more all the time and are very successful. But, we help you be sustainable in your behaviors, throw away the thoughts and actions that are holding you back and let you be human and great at the same time.
If you would like to enroll in our 16 week program that starts in June, we are now putting together that cohort. The cost is $4000 per person.
Please contact nicki@evolvedpeople.com telling us more about you.
Thought Leader: Grissel Mercado, Partner, Shearman & Sterling LLP
Thought LeadersElected to partnership just this past January, Grissel Mercado, shares her insight on her business, the industry and women in the law.
For more about Mercado’s background, read her Voice of Experience profile here.
A Busy Year With Many Successes
With a strong history and expertise in capital markets in Latin America, Mercado’s work there continues. Latin America capital markets have had a very interesting year; although a lot of market players thought there might be a slowdown given international developments such as Brexit and the Trump presidency, it has been a very busy year for the region, she says.
“Investors have continued to be attracted to a lot of issuers there, which has been very positive for our practice. But as I look into the future there will be more question marks with several countries going through elections in 2018. You are still prone to what’s happening socially and in politics when you work in Latin America, so it will be interesting to see what happens in 2018.” Mexico and Colombia are two countries where she has been the busiest, despite an expected slowdown.
Her toughest but most rewarding deal of the year took almost a year and half, but closed this summer. “You become so close to your clients when you spend that much time with them,” she says, adding how excited they were to complete the deal.
She is currently working on bond offerings for companies in Chile and Mexico, who are expecting to be some of the first issuers to launch transactions in early 2018. The practice has also been working on a variety of liability management exercises, including cash tender offers. And this is the time that many foreign private issuers registered with the SEC begin thinking about annual reports, which is where her corporate governance hat comes in, as she helps with prep work for those.
In the industry at large, she anticipates continued growth, even with the political and economic changes that the region is facing.
While there haven’t been too many regulatory changes per se, she anticipates her SEC registered clients will need help transitioning to XBRL, a business reporting language that uses tags for items in financial statements to allow financial information to be used interactively. While SEC registered domestic companies have been using this method for several years, 2018 will be the first year that foreign private issuers have to report in this way. The industry is also grappling to understand how the new MIFID II rules (i.e., product governance obligations applicable to manufacturers and distributors of financial instruments) will apply in the context of capital markets transactions led by non-EEA banks.
Social Issues Will Loom Large
For women, she finds that retention and promotion continue to be an issue. “Women enter law school and often even law firms as a majority, and then the ratio is completely flipped by the time we become senior associates and is even worse at partner ranks,” she notes.
She believes that law firms will retain women as they become more open to technological advances that other industries have already been using, such as work-from-home opportunities, which helps women who many times are the ones with more conflicting responsibilities, such as caring for children and elderly parents.
“If you can deliver top-quality work on time, it shouldn’t matter when and where you do it,” she points out. She sees that the millennial generation wants that for men and women. Firms will also benefit as women keep working rather than opting out. It’s vital to retain a female perspective, she says. “We view problems differently, and our clients are pushing to have these viewpoints at top levels.”
She appreciates that now as a newly-named partner, she has more of a voice in retention and recruiting and looks forward to a big year of transition. “Clients are used to seeing me lead transactions, but there will be an adjustment as I become the sole lead, and we’ll all work to make the transition as seamless as possible,” she says.