by Liz O’Donnell (Boston)

Do women treat other women poorly at the office? If you read the newspaper you probably think so. In January, The New York Times ran a story called “A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting.” The article talked about “the pink elephant lurking in the room” that women are their own worst enemies at work. Then in May the Times ran another article, this one titled “Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work.” The article did point out that 60 percent of workplace bullies are men, according to The Workplace Bullying Institute. However, it went on to discuss that the 40 percent of female bullies tend to bully women more than they bully men.

The Glass Hammer also reported on the bullying study. Both our story and the New York Times piece shared stories of women treating women poorly, because sometimes they do. But then again, people in general can be mean sometimes. Our article, unlike the Times’ story, also pointed out that women are the most targeted overall (57%) by bullies.

It makes sense. By definition, bullies pick on those who have a hard time defending themselves. Bosses are usually better positioned to defend themselves. Subordinates are not. And since men still dominate the top managerial positions, there are more women subordinates in the workplace. So the fact that more victims are women makes statistical sense.

The Glass Hammer is also full of stories about women helping women because women do that too. But those stories aren’t as readily available in the big newspapers. If there is an elephant, of any color, in the boardroom, it is that hierarchal organizations are breeding grounds for bad behavior.

Says Gloria Feldt, women’s activist and author, “A hierarchical culture inherently facilitates behaving badly.” In that type of setting, Feldt says, women have two choices. They can refuse to adopt the workplace behavior and risk losing whatever career advancements they’ve gained, or they can adopt the dominant behavior of the culture.

A former sales manager for a financial company talks about the company she recently left. “The owners, a husband and wife bullied each other. That behavior goes downhill. People were so concerned they’d be the next on the list, they mirrored the behavior.” She left the company in March. “It was killing my marriage.” She says the office was so full of fighting and yelling, she started to bring the workplace behavior home. This woman does not think bullying is a gender story. She says it’s a “culture story. Women get blamed for being the bitch. But this is about people who don’t have social skills.” Today, she is happily married and running her own business.

Many academics and corporate coaches think that as women gain critical mass in Corporate America, that we will see a shift in dominating, hierarchal behaviors in favor of more cooperative, compassionate offices. But until that critical mass is gained, how can women thrive without adopting negative cultural norms? Can they break the cycle?

Feldt, who is the former president of Planned Parenthood, and has experience leading a large organization, says women should, “Be a sister to one another. Offer to help one another.” When women support each other, they can protect themselves from negative environments and model different types of behavior. Consider this email exchange between two women who used to work together at a large computer manufacturer.

“I was at a Woman’s Leadership Conference today. The morning speaker talked about what makes a great person and I was thinking of you. I remembered how your sense of humor, friendship and hospitality got me through my experience. Thank you.” And in response, “Thanks for your note … I am flattered. I always loved hanging out with you too. That’s what girlfriends do for each other!”

When women support one another that type of exchange is the norm. When they fight, we hear what another woman told me about the technology firm where she works. “I see it as women feel threatened more easily than men. They constantly feel the need to prove themselves and that at times bring out the nasty in them. Women are very territorial in the work place. Men are more willing to help out then women. That’s my experience.”

So to answer the original question, do women treat other women poorly at the office? No more than people treat people poorly at the office.

by Andrea Newell (Grand Rapids, MI)

Have you ever berated an employee or colleague in front of other employees? Told an employee they were lucky to have a job at all? Used a minor mistake to demonstrate to others how incompetent you think that employee or colleague is? Taken credit for another colleague or employee’s work? Used personal information about a colleague or an employee against them in a work setting? Commented negatively on another employee’s style of dress in front of others (even though it was within the dress code)? Set an impossible goal for an employee without giving them adequate instruction or direction? If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you might be a workplace bully.

According to The Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), workplace bullying is defined as, “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms: verbal abuse, offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating or intimidating, and work interference (sabotage) which prevents work from getting done.”

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by Liz O’Donnell (Boston)

Few holidays cause as much gift-giving angst for bosses as Administrative Professionals Day, which falls on Wednesday, April 22nd this year. In an effort to remove the guesswork, American Express surveyed members of the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP) on their experiences and opinions about this day of recognition. Of the 400 administrative professionals who answered the survey, 79 percent would prefer $25 to spend any way they want over a $40 floral arrangement (19 percent) or $30 worth of chocolates (one percent). Further evidence that cash is king: 48 percent of those surveyed ranked money as their first choice gift over lunch with their coworkers (38 percent), flowers (9 percent) or a trinket for their desk (3 percent).

“Flowers, a card, candy, and a lovely lunch are all terrific-and I would never, ever discourage a boss from doing these kinds of things in honor of Administrative Professionals Day. However, these are not the things that admins want most,” says Janet Smith, an employee morale consultant. “What they really want-and what will make them feel extremely valued and appreciated-are opportunities for professional development and career growth.” Offering career advancement and professional learning opportunities sends the message that the administrative staff is making a valuable contribution, according to Jennifer Bergeron, Human Resources, Training Specialist for Summit County Government in Breckenridge, Colorado.

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by Liz O’Donnell (Boston)

Performance reviews are rarely pleasant. Even when the feedback is positive, the whole process always feels forced and awkward. Most managers are inadequately trained on how best to deliver a review, never mind how to mentor and monitor professional development.

Then there are those horrible forms to fill out. Three pages of multiple choice questions or sliding scale assessments followed by two blank lines for providing comments, does not help facilitate meaningful dialogue between the reviewer and the reviewee.

Now there is another reason for employees, particularly female employees, to dread the performance review, or talent management assessment, as it is referred to by human resource types. Catalyst, the organization that provides research, information, and advice about women at work, recently released a study “Cascading Gender Biases, Compounding Effects: An Assessment of Talent Management Systems.”

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Contributed by Morice Mendoza, Editor, www.Women-omics.com

Imagine a board discussion at a large multinational company. One of the directors, a smart forward-thinker, makes a presentation in which he says that the company could achieve a 112% higher return on invested capital if it made one transformational change to its organisational structure and culture. The board would jump at the chance to make such a difference to its performance, ensuring the change programme is a number one priority.

Now, put this discussion against the context of the current economic climate in which the smartest brains in the financial world have managed to shed billions of dollars worth of corporate value because of their over-extended risk-taking behaviour. Also, set this against the context of several decades of management thinking, which has put shareholder value above everything else, even if it meant getting rid of 100,000s of employees or damaging local communities.

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